Atlength，onmymostsacred，sacredwordofhonourtorepay（awordtowhich，asIcouldseefromhisface，hedidnotaltogethertrust），BasilsofaryieldedtohisfondnessformeandhisremembranceofthemanyservicesIhaddonehimastopaythecabman。Thusallmybeautifulfeelingsendedinsmoke。WhenI
wentupstairstodressforchurchandgotoCommunionwiththerestIfoundthatmynewclotheshadnotyetcomehome，andsoI
couldnotwearthem。ThenIsinnedheadlong。Donningmyothersuit，IwenttoCommunioninasadstateofmentalperturbation，andfilledwithcompletedistrustofallmyfinerimpulses。
IX
HOWIPREPAREDMYSELFFORTHEEXAMINATIONS
OntheThursdayinEasterweekPapa，mysister，Katenka，andMimiwentawayintothecountry，andnooneremainedinmygrandmother’sgreathousebutWoloda，St。Jerome，andmyself。TheframeofmindwhichIhadexperiencedonthedayofmyconfessionandduringmysubsequentexpeditiontothemonasteryhadnowcompletelypassedaway，andleftbehinditonlyadim，thoughpleasing，memorywhichdailybecamemoreandmoresubmergedbytheimpressionsofthisemancipatedexistence。
Thefolioendorsed"RulesofMyLife"layconcealedbeneathapileofschool-books。Althoughtheideaofthepossibilityofframingrules，foreveryoccasioninmylifeandalwayslettingmyselfbeguidedbythemstillpleasedme（sinceitappearedanideaatoncesimpleandmagnificent，andIwasdeterminedtomakepracticalapplicationofit），Iseemedsomehowtohaveforgottentoputitintopracticeatonce，andkeptdeferringdoingsountilsuchandsuchamoment。Atthesametime，Itookpleasureinthethoughtthateveryideawhichnowenteredmyheadcouldbeallottedpreciselytooneorotherofmythreesectionsoftasksandduties——thoseforortoGod，thoseforortomyneighbour，andthoseforortomyself。"Icanalwaysrefereverythingtothem，"
Isaidtomyself，"aswellasthemany，manyotherideaswhichoccurtomeononesubjectoranother。"YetatthisperiodI
oftenaskedmyself，"WasIbetterandmoretruthfulwhenIonlybelievedinthepowerofthehumanintellect，oramImoresonow，whenIamlosingthefacultyofdevelopingthatpower，andamindoubtbothastoitspotencyandastoitsimportance？"TothisIcouldreturnnopositiveanswer。
Thesenseoffreedom，combinedwiththespring-likefeelingofvagueexpectationtowhichIhavereferredalready，sounsettledmethatIcouldnotkeepmyselfinhand——couldmakenonebutthesorriestofpreparationsformyUniversityordeal。ThusIwasbusyintheschoolroomonemorning，andfullyawarethatImustworkhard，seeingthatto-morrowwasthedayofmyexaminationinasubjectofwhichIhadthetwowholequestionsstilltoreadup；yetnosoonerhadabreathofspringcomewaftedthroughthewindowthanIfeltasthoughthereweresomethingquitedifferentthatIwishedtorecalltomymemory。Myhandslaiddownmybook，myfeetbegantomoveofthemselves，andtosetmewalkingupanddowntheroom，andmyheadfeltasthoughsomeonehadsuddenlytouchedinitalittlespringandsetsomemachineinmotion——soeasilyandswiftlyandnaturallydidallsortsofpleasingfanciesofwhichIcouldcatchnomorethantheradiancybegincoursingthroughit。Thusonehour，twohours，elapsedunperceived。EvenifIsatdowndeterminedlytomybook，andmanagedtoconcentratemywholeattentionuponwhatIwasreading，suddenlytherewouldsoundinthecorridorthefootstepsofawomanandtherustleofherdress。Instantlyeverythingwouldescapemymind，andIwouldfinditimpossibletoremainstillanylonger，howevermuchIknewthatthewomancouldonlybeeitherGashaormygrandmother’soldsewing-maidmovingaboutinthecorridor。"YetsupposeitshouldbeSHEallatonce？"I
wouldsaytomyself。"SupposeITisbeginningnow，andIweretoloseit？"and，dartingoutintothecorridor，Iwouldfind，eachtime，thatitwasonlyGasha。YetforlongenoughafterwardsI
couldnotrecallmyattentiontomystudies。Alittlespringhadbeentouchedinmyhead，andastrangementalfermentstartedafresh。Again，thateveningIwassittingalonebesideatallowcandleinmyroom。SuddenlyIlookedupforamoment——tosnuffthecandle，ortostraightenmyselfinmychair——andatoncebecameawareofnothingbutthedarknessinthecornersandtheblankoftheopendoorway。Then，Ialsobecameconscioushowstillthehousewas，andfeltasthoughIcoulddonothingelsethangoonlisteningtothatstillness，andgazingintotheblacksquareofthatopendoorway，andgraduallysinkingintoabrownstudyasIsattherewithoutmoving。Atintervals，however，Iwouldgetup，andgodownstairs，andbeginwanderingthroughtheemptyrooms。OnceIsatalongwhileinthesmalldrawing-roomasI
listenedtoGashaplaying"TheNightingale"（withtwofingers）onthepianointhelargedrawing-room，whereasolitarycandleburned。Later，whenthemoonwasbright，Ifeltobligedtogetoutofbedandtoleanoutofthewindow，sothatImightgazeintothegarden，andatthelightedroofoftheShaposnikoffmansion，thestraighttowerofourparishchurch，andthedarkshadowsofthefenceandthelilac-bushwheretheylayblackuponthepath。SolongdidIremaintherethat，whenIatlengthreturnedtobed，itwasteno’clockinthemorningbeforeIcouldopenmyeyesagain。
Inshort，haditnotbeenforthetutorswhocametogivemelessons，aswellasforSt。Jerome（whoatintervals，andverygrudgingly，appliedaspurtomyself-conceit）and，mostofall，forthedesiretofigureas"clever"intheeyesofmyfriendNechludoff（wholookedupondistinctionsinUniversityexaminationsasamatteroffirst-rateimportance）——haditnotbeenforallthesethings，Isay，thespringandmynewfreedomwouldhavecombinedtomakemeforgeteverythingIhadeverlearnt，andsotogothroughtheexaminationstonopurposewhatsoever。
X
THEEXAMINATIONINHISTORY
ONthe16thofAprilIentered，forthefirsttime，andunderthewingofSt。Jerome，thegreathalloftheUniversity。IhaddriventherewithSt。Jeromeinoursmartphaetonandwearingthefirstfrockcoatofmylife，whilethewholeofmyotherclothes——
evendowntomysocksandlinen——werenewandofagrandersort。
WhenaSwisswaiterrelievedmeofmygreatcoat，andIstoodbeforehiminallthebeautyofmyattire，Ifeltalmostsorrytodazzlehimso。YetIhadnosoonerenteredthebright，carpeted，crowdedhall，andcaughtsightofhundredsofotheryoungmeningymnasium[TheRussiangymnasium=theEnglishgrammarorsecondaryschool。]uniformsorfrockcoats（ofwhombutafewthrewmeanindifferentglance），aswellas，atthefarend，ofsomesolemn-lookingprofessorswhowereseatedonchairsorwalkingcarelesslyaboutamongsometables，thanIatoncebecamedisabusedofthenotionthatIshouldattractthegeneralattention，whiletheexpressionofmyface，whichathome，andeveninthevestibuleoftheUniversitybuildings，haddenotedonlyakindofvagueregretthatIshouldhavetopresentsoimportantanddistinguishedanappearance，becameexchangedforanexpressionofthemostacutenervousnessanddejection。
However，IsoonpickedupagainwhenIperceivedsittingatoneofthedesksaverybadly，untidilydressedgentlemanwho，thoughnotreallyold，wasalmostentirelygrey。Hewasoccupyingaseatquiteatthebackofthehallandalittleapartfromtherest，soIhastenedtositdownbesidehim，andthenfelltolookingatthecandidatesforexamination，andtoformingconclusionsaboutthem。Manydifferentfiguresandfacesweretheretobeseenthere；yet，inmyopinion，theyallseemedtodividethemselvesintothreeclasses。Firstofall，therewereyouthslikemyself，attendingforexaminationinthecompanyoftheirparentsortutors。AmongsuchIcouldseetheyoungestIwin（accompaniedbyFrost）andIlinkaGrap（accompaniedbyhisoldfather）。Allyouthsofthisclassworetheearlybeginningsofbeards，sportedprominentlinen，satquietlyintheirplaces，andneveropenedthebooksandnotebookswhichtheyhadbroughtwiththem，butgazedattheprofessorsandexaminationtableswithill-concealednervousness。Thesecondclassofcandidateswereyoungmeningymnasiumuniforms。Severalofthemhadattainedtothedignityofshaving，andmostofthemknewoneanother。Theytalkedloudly，calledtheprofessorsbytheirnamesandsurnames，occupiedthemselvesingettingtheirsubjectsready，exchangednotebooks，climbedoverdesks，fetchedthemselvespiesandsandwichesfromthevestibule，andatethemthenandtheremerelyloweringtheirheadstothelevelofadeskforpropriety’ssake。
Lastly，thethirdclassofcandidates（whichseemedasmallone）
consistedofoldishmen——someoftheminfrockcoats，butthemajorityinjackets，andwithnolinentobeseen。Thesepreservedaseriousdemeanour，satbythemselves，andhadaverydingylook。Themanwhohadaffordedmeconsolationbybeingworsedressedthanmyselfbelongedtothisclass。Leaningforwarduponhiselbows，andrunninghisfingersthroughhisgrey，dishevelledhairashereadsomebookoranother，hehadthrownmeonlyamomentaryglance——andthatnotaveryfriendlyone——
fromapairofglitteringeyes。Then，asIsatdown，hehadfrownedgrimly，andstuckashinyelbowouttopreventmefromcominganynearer。Ontheotherhand，thegymnasiummenwereover-sociable，andIfeltratherafraidoftheirproximity。Oneofthemdidnothesitatetothrustabookintomyhands，saying，"Givethattothatfellowoverthere，willyou？"whileanotherofthemexclaimedashepushedpastme，"Byyourleave，youngfellow！"andathirdmadeuseofmyshoulderasapropwhenhewantedtoscrambleoveradesk。Allthisseemedtomealittleroughandunpleasant，forIlookeduponmyselfasimmenselysuperiortosuchfellows，andconsideredthattheyoughtnottotreatmewithsuchfamiliarity。Atlength，thenamesbegantobecalledout。Thegymnasiummenwalkedoutboldly，answeredtheirquestions（apparently）well，andcamebacklookingcheerful。Myownclassofcandidatesweremuchmorediffident，aswellasappearedtoanswerworse。Oftheoldishmen，someansweredwell，andsomeverypoorly。Whenthename"Semenoff"wascalledoutmyneighbourwiththegreyhairandglitteringeyesjostledmeroughly，steppedovermylegs，andwentuptooneoftheexaminers’tables。Itwasplainfromtheaspectoftheprofessorsthatheansweredwellandwithassurance，yet，onreturningtohisplace，hedidnotwaittoseewherehewasplacedonthelist，butquietlycollectedhisnotebooksanddeparted。SeveraltimesIshudderedatthesoundofthevoicecallingoutthenames，butmyturndidnotcomeinexactalphabeticalorder，thoughalreadynameshadbeguntobecalledbeginningwith"I。"
"IkoninandTenieff！"suddenlyshoutedsomeonefromtheprofessors’endofthehall。
"Goon，Ikonin！Youarebeingcalled，"saidatall，red-facedgymnasiumstudentnearme。"ButwhoisthisBARteniefforMORteniefforsomebody？Idon’tknowhim。"
"Itmustbeyou，"whisperedSt。Jeromeloudlyinmyear。
"MYnameisIRtenieff，"Isaidtothered-facedstudent。"Doyouthinkthatwasthenametheywerecallingout？"
"Yes。Whyonearthdon’tyougoup？"hereplied。"Lord，whatadandy！"headdedunderhisbreath，yetnotsoquietlybutthatI
failedtohearthewordsastheycamewaftedtomefrombelowthedesk。InfrontofmewalkedIkonin——atallyoungmanofabouttwenty-five，whowasoneofthosewhomIhadclassedasoldishmen。Heworeatightbrownfrockcoatandabluesatintie，andhadwispsofflaxenhaircarefullybrushedoverhiscollarinthepeasantstyle。Hisappearancehadalreadycaughtmyattentionwhenweweresittingamongthedesks，andhadgivenmeanimpressionthathewasnotbad-looking。AlsoIhadnoticedthathewasverytalkative。Yetwhatstruckmemostabouthisphysiognomywasatuft，ofqueerredhairswhichhehadunderhischin，aswellas，stillmore，astrangehabitofcontinuallyunbuttoninghiswaistcoatandscratchinghischestunderhisshirt。
BehindthetabletowhichweweresummonedsatthreeProfessors，noneofwhomacknowledgedoursalutations。Ayoungishprofessorwasshufflingabundleofticketslikeapackofcards；anotherone，withastaronhisfrockcoat，wasgazinghardatagymnasiumstudent，whowasrepeatingsomethingatgreatspeedaboutCharlestheGreat，andaddingtoeachofhissentencesthewordnakonetz[=theEnglishcolloquialism"youknow。"]whileathirdone——anoldmaninspectacles——proceededtobendhisheaddownasweapproached，and，peeringatusthroughhisglasses，pointedsilentlytothetickets。IfelthisglancegooverbothmyselfandIkonin，andalsofeltsurethatsomethingaboutushaddispleasedhim（perhapsitwasIkonin’sredhairs），for，aftertakinganotherlookatthepairofus，hemotionedimpatientlytoustobequickintakingourtickets。Ifeltvexedandoffended——
firstly，becausenoneoftheprofessorshadrespondedtoourbows，and，secondly，becausetheyevidentlycoupledmewithIkoninundertheonedenominationof"candidates，"andsowerecondemningmeinadvanceonaccountofIkonin’sredhairs。Itookmyticketboldlyandmadereadytoanswer，buttheprofessor’seyepassedovermyheadandalighteduponIkonin。Accordingly，I
occupiedmyselfinreadingmyticket。Thequestionsprintedonitwereallfamiliartome，so，asIsilentlyawaitedmyturn，I
gazedatwhatwaspassingnearme，Ikoninseemedinnowaydiffident——ratherthereverse，for，inreachingforhisticket，hethrewhisbodyhalf-wayacrossthetable。Thenhegavehislonghairashake，andrapidlyconnedoverwhatwaswrittenonhisticket。Ithinkhehadjustopenedhismouthtoanswerwhentheprofessorwiththestardismissedthegymnasiumstudentwithawordofcommendation，andthenturnedandlookedatIkonin。Atoncethelatterseemedtakenback，andstoppedshort。Forabouttwominutestherewasadeadsilence。
"Well？"saidtheprofessorinthespectacles。
OncemoreIkoninopenedhismouth，andoncemoreremainedsilent。
"Come！Youarenottheonlyonetobeexamined。Doyoumeantoanswerordoyounot？"saidtheyoungishprofessor，butIkonindidnotevenlookathim。Hewasgazingfixedlyathisticketandutterednotasingleword。Theprofessorinthespectaclesscannedhimthroughhisglasses，thenoverthem，thenwithoutthem（for，indeed，hehadtimetotakethemoff，towipetheirlensescarefully，andtoreplacethem）。StillnotawordfromIkonin。Allatonce，however，asmilespreaditselfoverhisface，andhegavehislonghairanothershake。Nexthereachedacrossthetable，laiddownhisticket，lookedateachoftheprofessorsinturnandthenatmyself，andfinally，wheelingroundonhisheels，madeagesturewithhishandandreturnedtothedesks。Theprofessorsstaredblanklyatoneanother。
"Blessthefellow！"saidtheyoungishprofessor。"Whatanoriginal！"
Itwasnowmyturntomovetowardsthetable，buttheprofessorswentontalkinginundertonesamongthemselves，asthoughtheywereunawareofmypresence。Atthemoment，IfeltfirmlypersuadedthatthethreeofthemwereengrossedsolelywiththequestionofwhetherIshouldmerelyPASStheexaminationorwhetherIshouldpassitWELL，andthatitwasonlyswaggerwhichmadethempretendthattheydidnotcareeitherway，andbehaveasthoughtheyhadnotseenme。
Whenatlengththeprofessorinthespectaclesturnedtomewithanairofindifference，andinvitedmetoanswer，Ifelthurt，asIlookedathim，tothinkthatheshouldhavesoundeceivedme：
whereforeIansweredbrokenlyatfirst。Intime，however，thingscameeasiertomytongue，and，inasmuchasallthequestionsboreuponRussianhistory（whichIknewthoroughly），Iendedwitheclat，andevenwentsofar，inmydesiretoconvincetheprofessorsthatIwasnotIkoninandthattheymustnotinanywayconfoundmewithhim，astooffertodrawasecondticket。Theprofessorinthespectacles，however，merelynoddedhishead，said"Thatwilldo，"andmarkedsomethinginhisregister。Onreturningtothedesks，Iatoncelearntfromthegymnasiummen（whosomehowseemedtoknoweverything）thatIhadbeenplacedfifth。
XI
MYEXAMINATIONINMATHEMATICS
ATthesubsequentexaminations，ImadeseveralnewacquaintancesinadditiontotheGraps（whomIconsideredunworthyofmynotice）andIwin（whoforsomereasonorotheravoidedme）。WithsomeofthesenewfriendsIgrewquiteintimate，andevenIkoninpluckedupsufficientcouragetoinformme，whenwenextmet，thathewouldhavetoundergore-examinationinhistory——thereasonforhisfailurethistimebeingthattheprofessorofthatfacultyhadneverforgivenhimforlastyear’sexamination，andhad，indeed，"almostkilled"himforit。Semenoff（whowasdestinedforthesamefacultyasmyself——thefacultyofmathematics）avoidedeveryoneuptotheverycloseoftheexaminations。Alwaysleaningforwarduponhiselbowsandrunninghisfingersthroughhisgreyhair，hesatsilentandalone。Nevertheless，whencalledupforexaminationinmathematics（hehadnocompaniontoaccompanyhim），hecameoutsecond。Thefirstplacewastakenbyastudentfromthefirstgymnasium——atall，dark，lanky，pale-facedfellowwhoworeablackfoldedcravatandhadhischeeksandforeheaddottedalloverwithpimples。Hishandswereshapelyandslender，buttheirnailsweresobittentothequickthatthefinger-endslookedasthoughtheyhadbeentiedroundwithstripsofthread。Allthisseemedtomesplendid，andwhollybecomingtoastudentofthefirstgymnasium。Hespoketoeveryone，andweallmadefriendswithhim。Tomeinparticularhiswalk，hiseverymovement，hislips，hisdarkeyes，allseemedtohaveinthemsomethingextraordinaryandmagnetic。
OnthedayofthemathematicalexaminationIarrivedearlierthanusualatthehall。Iknewthesyllabuswell，yetthereweretwoquestionsinthealgebrawhichmytutorhadmanagedtopassover，andwhichwerethereforequiteunknowntome。IfIrememberrightly，theyweretheTheoryofCombinationsandNewton’sBinomial。Iseatedmyselfononeofthebackbenchesandporedoverthetwoquestions，but，inasmuchasIwasnotaccustomedtoworkinginanoisyroom，andhadevenlesstimeforpreparationthanIhadanticipated，IsoonfounditdifficulttotakeinallthatIwasreading。
"Hereheis。Thisway，Nechludoff，"saidWoloda’sfamiliarvoicebehindme。
IturnedandsawmybrotherandDimitri——theirgownsunbuttoned，andtheirhandswavingagreetingtome——threadingtheirwaythroughthedesks。Amoment’sglancewouldhavesufficedtoshowanyonethattheyweresecond-coursestudents——personstowhomtheUniversitywasasasecondhome。Themerelookoftheiropengownsexpressedatoncedisdainforthe"merecandidate"andaknowledgethatthe"merecandidate’s"soulwasfilledwithenvyandadmirationofthem。IwascharmedtothinkthateveryonenearmecouldnowseethatIknewtworealsecond-coursestudents：whereforeIhastenedtomeetthemhalf-way。
Woloda，ofcourse，couldnothelpvauntinghissuperiorityalittle。
"Hullo，yousmug！"hesaid。"Haven’tyoubeenexaminedyet？"
"No。"
"Well，whatareyoureading？Aren’tyousufficientlyprimed？"
"Yes，exceptintwoquestions。Idon’tunderstandthematall。"
"Eh，what？"——andWolodastraightwaybegantoexpoundtomeNewton’sBinomial，butsorapidlyandunintelligiblythat，suddenlyreadinginmyeyescertainmisgivingsastothesoundnessofhisknowledge，heglancedalsoatDimitri’sface。
Clearly，hesawthesamemisgivingsthere，forheblushedhotly，thoughstillcontinuinghisinvolvedexplanations。
"No；holdon，Woloda，andletmetryanddoit，"putinDimitriatlength，withaglanceattheprofessors’cornerasheseatedhimselfbesideme。
Icouldseethatmyfriendwasinthebestofhumours。Thiswasalwaysthecasewithhimwhenhewassatisfiedwithhimself，andwasoneofthethingsinhimwhichIlikedbest。Inasmuchasheknewmathematicswellandcouldspeakclearly，hehammeredthequestionsothoroughlyintomyheadthatIcanrememberittothisday。HardlyhadhefinishedwhenSt。Jeromesaidtomeinaloudwhisper，"Avous，Nicolas，"andIfollowedIkoninoutfromamongthedeskswithouthavinghadanopportunityofgoingthroughtheOTHERquestionofwhichIwasignorant。Atthetablewhichwenowapproachedwereseatedtwoprofessors，whilebeforetheblackboardstoodagymnasiumstudent，whowasworkingsomeformulaaloud，andknockingbitsofftheendofthechalkwithhistoovigorousstrokes。HeevencontinuedwritingafteroneoftheProfessorshadsaidtohim"Enough！"andbiddenusdrawourtickets。"SupposeIgettheTheoryofCombinations？"Ithoughttomyselfasmytremulousfingerstookaticketfromamongabundlewrappedintornpaper。Ikonin，forhispart，reachedacrossthetablewiththesameassurance，andthesamesidelongmovementofhiswholebody，ashehaddoneatthepreviousexamination。
Takingthetopmostticketwithouttroublingtomakefurtherselection，hejustglancedatit，andthenfrownedangrily。
"Ialwaysdrawthiskindofthing，"hemuttered。
Ilookedatmine。Horrors！ItwastheTheoryofCombinations！
"Whathaveyougot？"whisperedIkoninatthispoint。
Ishowedhim。
"Oh，Iknowthat，"hesaid。
"Willyoumakeanexchange，then？"
"No。Besides，itwouldbeallthesameformeifIdid，"hecontrivedtowhisperjustastheprofessorcalledusuptotheblackboard。"Idon’tfeeluptoanythingto-day。"
"Theneverythingislost！"Ithoughttomyself。InsteadofthebrilliantresultwhichIhadanticipatedIshouldbeforevercoveredwithshame——moresoeventhanIkonin！Suddenly，undertheveryeyesoftheprofessor，Ikoninturnedtome，snatchedmyticketoutofmyhands，andhandedmehisown。Ilookedathisticket。ItwasNewton’sBinomial！
Theprofessorwasayoungishman，withapleasant，cleverexpressionofface——aneffectchieflyduetotheprominenceofthelowerpartofhisforehead。
"What？Areyouexchangingtickets，gentlemen？"hesaid。
"No。Heonlygavemehistolookat，professor，"answeredIkonin——
and，sureenough，theword"professor"wasthelastwordthatheutteredthere。Onceagain，hesteppedbackwardstowardsmefromthetable，onceagainhelookedateachoftheprofessorsinturnandthenatmyself，onceagainhesmiledfaintly，andonceagainheshruggedhisshouldersasmuchastosay，"Itisnouse，mygoodsirs。"Thenhereturnedtothedesks。Subsequently，Ilearntthatthiswasthethirdyearhehadvainlyattemptedtomatriculate。
Iansweredmyquestionwell，forIhadjustreaditup；andtheprofessor，kindlyinformingmethatIhaddoneevenbetterthanwasrequired，placedmefifth。
XII
MYEXAMINATIONINLATIN
AllwentwelluntilmyexaminationinLatin。Sofar，agymnasiumstudentstoodfirstonthelist，Semenoffsecond，andmyselfthird。OnthestrengthofitIhadbeguntoswaggeralittle，andtothinkthat，forallmyyouth，Iwasnottobedespised。
Fromthefirstdayoftheexaminations，IhadheardeveryonespeakwithaweoftheProfessorofLatin，whoappearedtobesomesortofawildbeastwhobattenedonthefinancialruinofyoungmen（ofthose，thatistosay，whopaidtheirownfees）andspokeonlyintheGreekandLatintongues。However，St。Jerome，whohadcoachedmeinLatin，spokeencouragingly，andImyselfthoughtthat，sinceIcouldtranslateCiceroandcertainpartsofHoracewithouttheaidofalexicon，Ishoulddonoworsethantherest。
Yetthingsprovedotherwise。Allthemorningtheairhadbeenfullofrumoursconcerningthetribulationsofcandidateswhohadgoneupbeforeme：rumoursofhowoneyoungfellowhadbeenaccordedanought，anotheroneasinglemarkonly，athirdonegreetedwithabuseandthreatenedwithexpulsion，andsoforth。
OnlySemenoffandthefirstgymnasiumstudenthad，asusual，goneupquietly，andreturnedtotheirseatswithfivemarkscreditedtotheirnames。AlreadyIfeltaprescienceofdisasterwhenIkoninandmyselffoundourselvessummonedtothelittletableatwhichtheterribleprofessorsatinsolitarygrandeur。
Theterribleprofessorturnedouttobealittlethin，bilious-
lookingmanwithhairlongandgreasyandafaceexpressiveofextraordinarysullenness。HandingIkoninacopyofCicero’sOrations，hebidhimtranslate。TomygreatastonishmentIkoninnotonlyreadoffsomeoftheLatin，butevenmanagedtoconstrueafewlinestotheprofessor’sprompting。Atthesametime，consciousofmysuperiorityoversuchafeeblecompanion，Icouldnothelpsmilingalittle，andevenlookingrathercontemptuous，whenitcametoaquestionofanalysis，andIkonin，asonpreviousoccasions，plungedintoasilencewhichpromisednevertoend。Ihadhopedtopleasetheprofessorbythatknowing，slightlysarcasticsmileofmine，but，asamatteroffact，I
contrivedtodoquitethecontrary。
"Evidentlyyouknowbetterthanhe，sinceyouarelaughing，"hesaidtomeinbadRussian。"Well，weshallsee。Tellmetheanswer，then。"
LaterIlearntthattheprofessorwasIkonin’sguardian，andthatIkoninactuallylivedwithhim。IlostnotimeinansweringthequestioninsyntaxwhichhadbeenputtoIkonin，buttheprofessoronlypulledalongfaceandturnedawayfromme。
"Well，yourturnwillcomepresently，andthenweshallseehowmuchyouknow，"heremarked，withoutlookingatme，butproceedingtoexplaintoIkoninthepointonwhichhehadquestionedhim。
"Thatwilldo，"headded，andIsawhimputdownfourmarkstoIkonininhisregister。"Come！"Ithoughttomyself。"Hecannotbesostrictafterall。"
WhenIkoninhadtakenhisdeparturetheprofessorspentfullyfiveminutes——fiveminuteswhichseemedtomefivehours——insettinghisbooksandticketsinorder，inblowinghisnose，inadjustingandsprawlingaboutonhischair，ingazingdownthehall，andinlookinghere，there，andeverywhere——indoingeverything，infact，exceptoncelettinghiseyerestuponme。
Yeteventhatamountofdissimulationdidnotseemtosatisfyhim，forhenextopenedabook，andpretendedtoreadit，foralltheworldasthoughIwerenotthereatall。Imovedalittlenearerhim，andgaveacough。
"Ah，yes！Youtoo，ofcourse！Well，translatemesomething，"heremarked，handingmeabookofsomekind。"Butno；youhadbettertakethis，"and，turningovertheleavesofaHorace，heindicatedtomeapassagewhichIshouldneverhaveimaginedpossibleoftranslation。
"Ihavenotpreparedthis，"Isaid。
"Oh！Thenyouonlywishtoanswerthingswhichyouhavegotbyheart，doyou？Indeed？No，no；translatemethat。"
Istartedtogropeforthemeaningofthepassage，buteachquestioninglookwhichIthrewattheprofessorwasmetbyashakeofthehead，aprofoundsigh，andanexclamationof"No，no！"Finallyhebangedthebooktowithsuchasnapthathecaughthisfingerbetweenthecovers。Angrilyreleasingit，hehandedmeaticketcontainingquestionsingrammar，and，flinginghimselfbackinhischair，maintainedamenacingsilence。I
shouldhavetriedtoanswerthequestionshadnottheexpressionofhisfacesocloggedmytonguethatnothingseemedtocomefromitright。
"No，no！That’snotitatall！"hesuddenlyexclaimedinhishorribleaccentashealteredhisposturetooneofleaningforwarduponthetableandplayingwiththegoldsignet-ringwhichwasnearlyslippingfromthelittlefingerofhislefthand。"Thatisnotthewaytoprepareforseriousstudy，mygoodsir。Fellowslikeyourselfthinkthat，oncetheyhaveagownandabluecollartotheirbacks，theyhavereachedthesummitofallthingsandbecomestudents。No，no，mydearsir。AsubjectneedstobestudiedFUNDAMENTALLY，"andsoon，andsoon。
Duringthisspeech（whichwasutteredwithaclippedsortofintonation）Iwentonstaringdullyathisloweredeyelids。
BeginningwithafearlestIshouldlosemyplaceasthirdonthelist，IwentontofearlestIshouldpassatall。Next，thesefeelingsbecamereinforcedbyasenseofinjustice，injuredself-
respect，andunmeritedhumiliation，whilethecontemptwhichI
feltfortheprofessorassomeonenotquite（accordingtomyideas）"commeilfaut"——afactwhichIdeducedfromtheshortness，strength，androundnessofhisnails——flaredupinmemoreandmoreandturnedallmyotherfeelingstosheeranimosity。Happening，presently，toglanceatme，andtonotemyquiveringlipsandtear-filledeyes，heseemedtointerpretmyagitationasadesiretobeaccordedmymarksanddismissed：
wherefore，withanairofrelenting，hesaid（inthepresenceofanotherprofessorwhohadjustapproached）：
"Verywell；Iwillaccordyoua’pass’"（whichsignifiedtwomarks），"althoughyoudonotdeserveit。Idososimplyoutofconsiderationforyouryouth，andinthehopethat，whenyoubeginyourUniversitycareer，youwilllearntobelesslight-
minded。"
Theconcludingphrase，utteredinthehearingoftheotherprofessor（whoatonceturnedhiseyesuponme，asthoughremarking，"There！Yousee，youngman！"）completedmydiscomfiture。Foramoment，amistswambeforemyeyes——amistinwhichtheterribleprofessorseemedtobefaraway，ashesatathistablewhileforaninstantawildideadancedthroughmybrain。"WhatifIDIDdosuchathing？"Ithoughttomyself。
"Whatwouldcomeofit？"However，Ididnotdothethinginquestion，but，onthecontrary，madeabowofpeculiarreverencetoeachoftheprofessors，andwithaslightsmileonmyface——
presumablythesamesmileasthatwithwhichIhadderidedIkonin——turnedawayfromthetable。
Thispieceofunfairnessaffectedmesopowerfullyatthetimethat，hadIbeenafreeagent，Ishouldhaveattendedfornomoreexaminations。Myambitionwasgone（sincenowIcouldnotpossiblybethird），andIthereforelettheotherexaminationspasswithoutanyexertion，orevenagitation，onmypart。InthegenerallistIstillstoodfourth，butthatfailedtointerestme，sinceIhadreasonedthingsouttomyself，andcometotheconclusionthattotryforfirstplacewasstupid——even"badform："that，infact，itwasbettertopassneitherverywellnorverybadly，asWolodahaddone。ThisattitudeIdecidedtomaintainthroughoutthewholeofmyUniversitycareer，notwithstandingthatitwasthefirstpointonwhichmyopinionhaddifferedfromthatofmyfriendDimitri。
Yet，totellthetruth，mythoughtswerealreadyturningtowardsauniform，a"mortar-board，"andthepossessionofadrozhkiofmyown，aroomofmyown，and，aboveall，freedomofmyown。Andcertainlytheprospecthaditscharm。
XIII
IBECOMEGROWN-UP
When，onMay8th，Ireturnedhomefromthefinal，thedivinity，examination，Ifoundmyacquaintance，theforemanfromRozonoff’s，awaitingme。Hehadcalledoncebeforetofitmeformygown，aswellasforatunicofglossyblackcloth（thelapelsofwhichwere，onthatoccasion，onlysketchedinchalk），butto-
dayhehadcometobringmetheclothesintheirfinishedstate，withtheirgiltbuttonswrappedintissuepaper。
Donningthegarments，andfindingthemsplendid（notwithstandingthatSt。Jeromeassuredmethatthebackofthetunicwrinkledbadly），IwentdownstairswithacomplacentsmilewhichIwaspowerlesstobanishfrommyface，andsoughtWoloda，tryingthewhiletoaffectunconsciousnessoftheadmiringlooksoftheservants，whocamedartingoutofthehallandcorridortogazeuponmewithravishedeyes。Gabriel，thebutler，overtookmeinthesalle，and，aftercongratulatingmewithmuchempressement，handedme，accordingtoinstructionsfrommyfather，fourbank-
notes，aswellasinformedmethatPapahadalsogivenordersthat，fromthatdayforth，thegroomKuzma，thephaeton，andthebayhorseKrassavchikweretobeentirelyatmydisposal。Iwassooverjoyedatthisnotaltogetherexpectedgood-fortunethatI
couldnolongerfeignindifferenceinGabriel’spresence，but，flusteredandpanting，saidthefirstthingwhichcameintomyhead（"Krassavchikisasplendidtrotter，"Ithinkitwas）。Then，catchingsightofthevariousheadsprotrudingfromthedoorsofthehallandcorridor，IfeltthatIcouldbearnomore，andsetoffrunningatfullspeedacrossthesalle，dressedasIwasinthenewtunic，withitsshininggiltbuttons。JustasIburstintoWoloda’sroom，IheardbehindmethevoicesofDubkoffandNechludoff，whohadcometocongratulateme，aswellastoproposeadinnersomewhereandthedrinkingofmuchchampagneinhonourofmymatriculation。Dimitriinformedmethat，thoughhedidnotcareforchampagne，hewouldneverthelessjoinusthateveninganddrinkmyhealth，whileDubkoffremarkedthatIlookedalmostlikeacolonel，andWolodaomittedtocongratulatemeatall，merelysayinginanacidwaythathesupposedweshouldnow——
i。e。intwodaystime——beoffintothecountry。ThetruthwasthatWoloda，thoughpleasedatmymatriculation，didnotaltogetherlikemybecomingasgrown-upashimself。St。Jerome，whoalsojoinedusatthismoment，saidinaverypompousmannerthathisdutieswerenowended，andthat，althoughhedidnotknowwhethertheyhadbeenwelldoneorill，atleasthehaddonehisbest，andmustdepartto-morrowtohisCount’s。InreplyingtotheirvariousremarksIcouldfeel，inspiteofmyself，apleased，agreeable，faintlyself-sufficientsmileplayingovermycountenance，aswellascouldremarkthatthatsmile，communicateditselftothosetowhomIwasspeaking。
SoherewasIwithoutatutor，yetwithmyownprivatedrozhki，mynameprintedonthelistofstudents，aswordandbeltofmyown，andachanceofanoccasionalsalutefromofficials！Inshort，Iwasgrownupand，Isuppose，happy。
Finally，wearrangedtogooutanddineatfiveo’clock，butsinceWolodapresentlywentofftoDubkoff’s，andDimitridisappearedinhisusualfashion（sayingthattherewassomethingheMUSTdobeforedinner），Iwasleftwithtwowholehoursstillatmydisposal。ForatimeIwalkedthroughtheroomsofthehouse，andlookedatmyselfinallthemirrors——firstlywiththetunicbuttoned，thenwithitunbuttoned，andlastlywithonlythetopbuttonfastened。Eachtimeitlookedsplendid。Eventually，thoughanxiousnottoshowanyexcessofdelight，Ifoundmyselfunabletorefrainfromcrossingovertothecoach-houseandstablestogazeatKrassovchik，Kuzma，andthedrozhki。ThenIreturnedandoncemorebeganmytouroftherooms，whereIlookedatmyselfinallthemirrorsasbefore，andcountedmymoneyoverinmypocket——myfacesmilinghappilythewhile。YetnotanhourhadelapsedbeforeIbegantofeelslightlyennuye——tofeelashadeofregretthatnoonewaspresenttoseemeinmysplendidposition。Ibegantolongforlifeandmovement，andsosentoutordersforthedrozhkitobegotready，sinceIhadmadeupmymindtodrivetotheKuznetskiBridgeandmakesomepurchases。
InthisconnectionIrecalledhow，aftermatriculating，WolodahadgoneandboughthimselfalithographofhorsesbyVictorAdamandsomepipesandtobacco：whereforeIfeltthatItoomustdothesame。Amidglancesshowereduponmefromeveryside，andwiththesunlightreflectedfrommybuttons，cap-badge，andsword，I
drovetotheKuznetskiBridge，where，haltingataPictureshop，Ientereditwithmyeyeslookingtoeveryside。ItwasnotpreciselyhorsesbyAdamwhichImeanttobuy，sinceIdidnotwishtobeaccusedoftoocloselyimitatingWoloda；wherefore，outofshameforcausingtheobsequiousshopmensuchagitationasIappearedtodo，Imadeahastyselection，andpitcheduponawater-colourofawoman’sheadwhichIsawdisplayedinthewindow——pricetwentyroubles。YetnosoonerhadIpaidthetwentyroublesoverthecounterthanmyheartsmotemeforhavingputtwosuchbeautifullydressedshop-assistantstosomuchtroubleforsuchatrifle。Moreover，Ifanciedthattheywereregardingmewithsomedisdain。Accordingly，inmydesiretoshowthemwhatmannerofmanIwas，IturnedmyattentiontoasilvertriflewhichIsawdisplayedinashow-case，and，recognisingthatitwasaporte-crayon（priceeighteenroubles），requestedthatitshouldforthwithbewrappedinpaperforme。Next，themoneypaid，andtheinformationacquiredthatsplendidpipesandtobaccoweretobeobtainedinanadjacentemporium，Ibowedtothetwoshopmenpolitely，andissuedintothestreetwiththepictureundermyarm。Attheshopnextdoor（whichhadpaintedonitssign-boardanegrosmokingacigar）Ibought（likewiseoutofadesiretoimitatenoone）someTurkishtobacco，aStamboulhookah，andtwopipes。Oncomingoutoftheshop，IhadjustenteredthedrozhkiwhenIcaughtsightofSemenoff，whowaswalkinghurriedlyalongthepavementwithhisheadbentdown。
Vexedthatheshouldnothaverecognisedme，Icalledouttohimprettyloudly，"Holdonaminute！"and，whippingupthedrozhki，soonovertookhim。
"Howdoyoudo？"Isaid。
"Myrespectstoyou，"hereplied，butwithoutstopping。
"WhyareyounotinyourUniversityuniform？"Inextinquired。
Atthishestoppedshortwithafrown，andpartedhiswhiteteethasthoughthesunwerehurtinghiseyes。Thenextmoment，however，hethrewaglanceofstudiedindifferenceatmydrozhkianduniform，andcontinuedonhisway。
FromtheKuznetskiBridge，Idrovetoaconfectioner’sinTverskaiaStreet，and，muchasIshouldhavelikedittobesupposedthatitwasthenewspaperswhichmostinterestedme，I
hadnochoicebuttobeginfallingupontartletaftertartlet。Infact，forallmybashfulnessbeforeagentlemanwhokeptregardingmewithsomecuriosityfrombehindanewspaper，Iatewithgreatswiftnessatartletofeachoftheeightdifferentsortswhichtheconfectionerkept。
Onreachinghome，Iexperiencedaslighttouchofstomach-ache，butpaidnoattentiontoit，andsettoworktoinspectmypurchases。Ofthese，thepicturesomuchdispleasedmethat，insteadofhavingitframedandhunginmyroom，asWolodahaddonewithhis，Itookpainstohideitbehindachestofdrawers，wherenoonecouldseeit。Likewise，thoughIalsofoundtheporte-crayondistasteful，Iwasable，asIlaiditonmytable，tocomfortmyselfwiththethoughtthatitwasatleastaSILVER
article——somuchcapital，asitwere——andlikelytobeveryusefultoastudent。Asforthesmokingthings，Idecidedtoputthemintouseatonce，andtrytheircapabilities。
Unsealingthefourpackages，andcarefullyfillingtheStamboulpipewithsomefine-cut，reddish-yellowTurkishtobacco，I
appliedahotcindertoit，and，takingthemouthpiecebetweenmyfirstandsecondfingers（apositionofthehandwhichgreatlycaughtmyfancy），startedtoinhalethesmoke。
Thesmellofthetobaccoseemeddelightful，yetsomethingburntmymouthandcaughtmebythebreath。Nevertheless，Ihardenedmyheart，andcontinuedtodrawabundantfumesintomyinterior。
ThenItriedblowingringsandretainingthesmoke。Soontheroombecamefilledwithbluevapours，whilethepipestartedtocrackleandthetobaccotoflyoutinsparks。Presently，also，I
begantofeelasmartinginmymouthandagiddinessinmyhead。
Accordingly，Iwasonthepointofstoppingandgoingtolookatmyselfandmypipeinthemirror，when，tomysurprise，Ifoundmyselfstaggeringabout。Theroomwaswhirlingroundandround，andasIpeeredintothemirror（whichIreachedonlywithsomedifficulty）Iperceivedthatmyfacewasaswhiteasasheet。
HardlyhadIthrownmyselfdownuponasofawhensuchnauseaandfaintnesssweptovermethat，makingupmymindthatthepipehadprovedmydeath，Iexpectedeverymomenttoexpire。Terriblyfrightened，Itriedtocalloutforsomeonetocomeandhelpme，andtosendforthedoctor。
However，thispanicofminedidnotlastlong，forIsoonunderstoodwhatthematterwithmewas，andremainedlyingonthesofawitharackingheadacheandmylimbsrelaxedasIstareddullyatthestamponthepackageoftobacco，thePipe-tubecoiledonthefloor，andtheoddsandendsoftobaccoandconfectioner’startletswhichwerelitteredabout。"Truly，"I
thoughttomyselfinmydejectionanddisillusionment，"Icannotbequitegrown-upifIcannotsmokeasotherfellowsdo，andshouldbefatednevertoholdachiboukbetweenmyfirstandsecondfingers，ortoinhaleandpuffsmokethroughaflaxenmoustache！"
WhenDimitricalledformeatfiveo’clock，hefoundmeinthisunpleasantpredicament。Afterdrinkingaglassofwater，however，Ifeltnearlyrecovered，andreadytogowithhim。
"Somuchforyourtryingtosmoke！"saidheashegazedattheremnantsofmydebauch。"Itisasillythingtodo，andwasteofmoneyaswell。Ilongagopromisedmyselfnevertosmoke。Butcomealong；wehavetocallforDubkoff。"
XIV
HOWWOLODAANDDUBKOFFAMUSEDTHEMSELVES
THEmomentthatDimitrienteredmyroomIperceivedfromhisface，mannerofwalking，andthesignswhich，inhim，denotedill-humour——ablinkingoftheeyesandagrimholdingofhisheadtooneside，asthoughtostraightenhiscollar——thathewasinthecoldly-correctframeofmindwhichwashiswhenhefeltdissatisfiedwithhimself。Itwasaframeofmind，too，whichalwaysproducedachillingeffectuponmyfeelingstowardshim。
OflateIhadbeguntoobserveandappraisemyfriend’scharacteralittlemore，butourfriendshiphadinnowaysufferedfromthat，sinceitwasstilltooyoungandstrongformetobeabletolookuponDimitriasanythingbutperfect，nomatterinwhatlightIregardedhim。Inhimthereweretwopersonalities，bothofwhichIthoughtbeautiful。One，whichIloveddevotedly，waskind，mild，forgiving，gay，andconsciousofbeingthosevariousthings。Whenhewasinthisframeofmindhiswholeexterior，theverytoneofhisvoice，hiseverymovement，appearedtosay："I
amkindandgood-natured，andrejoiceinbeingso，andeveryonecanseethatIsorejoice。"Theotherofhistwopersonalities——
onewhichIhadonlyjustbeguntoapprehend，andbeforethemajestyofwhichIbowedinspirit——wasthatofamanwhowascold，sterntohimselfandtoothers，proud，religioustothepointoffanaticism，andpedanticallymoral。Atthepresentmomenthewas，asIsay，thissecondpersonality。
WiththatfranknesswhichconstitutedanecessaryconditionofourrelationsItoldhim，assoonasweenteredthedrozhki，howmuchitdepressedandhurtmetoseehim，onthismyfete-dayinaframeofmindsoirksomeanddisagreeabletome。
"Whathasupsetyouso？"Iaskedhim。"Willyounottellme？"
"MydearNicolas，"washisslowreplyashegavehisheadanervoustwitchtoonesideandblinkedhiseyes，"sinceIhavegivenyoumywordnevertoconcealanythingfromyou，youhavenoreasontosuspectmeofsecretiveness。Onecannotalwaysbeinexactlythesamemood，andifIseematallputout，thatisallthereistosayaboutit。"
"Whatamarvellouslyopen，honourablecharacterhisis！"I
thoughttomyself，anddroppedthesubject。
WedrovetherestofthewaytoDubkoff’sinsilence。Dubkoff’sflatwasanunusuallyfineone——or，atallevents，soitseemedtome。Everywherewererugs，pictures，gardenias，stripedhangings，photographs，andcurvedsettees，whileonthewallshungguns，pistols，pouches，andthemountedheadsofwildbeasts。Itwastheappearanceofthisapartmentwhichmademeawarewhom，itwasthatWolodahadimitatedintheschemeofhisownsitting-room。WefoundDubkoffandWolodaengagedincards，whileseatedalsoatthetable，andwatchingthegamewithcloseattention，wasagentlemanwhomIdidnotknow，butwhoappearedtobeofnogreatimportance，judgingbythemodestyofhisattitude。Dubkoffhimselfwasinasilkdressing-gownandsoftslippers，whileWoloda——seatedoppositehimonadivan——wasinhisshirtsleeves，aswellas（tojudgebyhisflushedfaceandtheimpatient，cursoryglancewhichhegaveusforasecondashelookedupfromthecards）muchtakenupwiththegame。Onseeingme，hereddenedstillmore。
返回顶部