"Well，itisforyoutodeal，"heremarkedtoDubkoff。InaninstantIdivinedthathedidnotaltogetherrelishmybecomingacquaintedwiththefactthathegambled。Yethisexpressionhadnothinginitofconfusion——onlyalookwhichseemedtometosay：
"Yes，Iplaycards，andifyouaresurprisedatthat，itisonlybecauseyouaresoyoung。Thereisnothingwrongaboutit——itisanecessityatourage。"Yes，Iatoncedivinedandunderstoodthat。
Insteadofdealing，however，Dubkoffroseandshookhandswithus；afterwhichhebadeusbothbeseated，andthenoffereduspipes，whichwedeclined。
"HereisourDIPLOMAT，then——theherooftheday！"hesaidtome，"GoodLord！howyoulooklikeacolonel！"
"H-m！"Imutteredinreply，thoughoncemorefeelingacomplacentsmileoverspreadmycountenance。
IstoodinthataweofDubkoffwhichasixteen-year-oldboynaturallyfeelsforatwenty-seven-year-oldmanofwhomhiselderssaythatheisaverycleveryoungmanwhocandancewellandspeakFrench，andwho，thoughsecretlydespisingone’syouth，endeavourstoconcealthefact。Yet，despitemyrespectforhim，Isomehowfounditdifficultanduncomfortable，throughoutmyacquaintanceshipwithhim，tolookhimintheeyes，IhavesinceremarkedthattherearethreekindsofmenwhomIcannotfaceeasily，namelythosewhoaremuchbetterthanmyself，thosewhoaremuchworse，andthosebetweenwhomandmyselfthereisamutualdeterminationnottomentionsomeparticularthingofwhichwearebothaware。Dubkoffmayhavebeenamuchbetterfellowthanmyself，orhemayhavebeenamuchworse；butthepointwasthatheliedveryfrequentlywithoutrecognisingthefactthatIwasawareofhisdoingso，yethaddeterminednottomentionit。
"Letusplayanotherround，"saidWoloda，hunchingoneshoulderafterthemannerofPapa，andreshufflingthecards。
"Howpersistentyouare！"saidDubkoff。"Wecanplayallwewanttoafterwards。Well，onemoreround，then。"
Duringtheplay，Ilookedattheirhands。Woloda’shandswerelargeandred，whilstinthecrookofthethumbandthewayinwhichtheotherfingerscurvedthemselvesroundthecardsasheheldthemtheysoexactlyresembledPapa’sthatnowandthenI
couldnothelpthinkingthatWolodapurposelyheldthecardsthussoastolookthemorelikeagrownup。Yetthenextmoment，lookingathisface，Icouldseethathehadnotathoughtinhismindbeyondthegame。Dubkoff’shands，onthecontrary，weresmall，puffy，andinclinedtoclenchthemselves，aswellasextremelyneatandsmall-fingered。Theywerejustthekindofhandswhichgenerallydisplayrings，andwhicharemosttobeseenonpersonswhoarebothinclinedtousethemandfondofobjetsdevertu。
Wolodamusthavelost，forthegentlemanwhowaswatchingtheplayremarkedthatVladimirPetrovitchhadterriblybadluck，whileDubkoffreachedforanotebook，wrotesomethinginit，andthen，showingWolodawhathehadwritten，said：
"Isthatright？"
"Yes。"saidWoloda，glancingwithfeignedcarelessnessatthenotebook。"Nowletusgo。"
WolodatookDubkoff，andIgaveDimitrialiftinmydrozhki。
"Whatweretheyplayingat？"IinquiredofDimitri。
"Atpiquet。Itisastupidgame。Infact，allsuchgamesarestupid。"
"Andweretheyplayingformuch？"
"No，notverymuch，butmorethantheyoughtto。"
"Doyoueverplayyourself？"
"No；Isworenevertodoso；butDubkoffwillplaywithanyonehecangetholdof。"
"Heoughtnottodothat，"Iremarked。"SoWolodadoesnotplaysowellashedoes？"
"PerhapsDubkoffoughtnotto，asyousay，yetthereisnothingespeciallybadaboutitall。Helikesplaying，andplayswell，butheisagoodfellowallthesame。"
"Ihadnoideaofthis，"Isaid。
"Wemustnotthinkillofhim，"concludedDimitri，"sinceheisasimplysplendidfellow。Ilikehimverymuch，andalwaysshalllikehim，inspiteofhisweakness。"
Forsomereasonoranothertheideaoccurredtomethat，justBECAUSEDimitristuckupsostoutlyforDubkoff，heneitherlikednorrespectedhiminreality，butwasdetermined，outofstubbornnessandadesirenottobeaccusedofinconstancy，nevertoowntothefact。Hewasoneofthosepeoplewholovetheirfriendstheirlifelong，notsomuchbecausethosefriendsremainalwaysdeartothem，asbecause，havingonce——possiblymistakenly——likedaperson，theylookuponitasdishonourabletoceaseevertodoso。
XV
IAMFETEDATDINNER
DubkoffandWolodakneweveryoneattherestaurantbyname，andeveryone，fromthewaiterstotheproprietor，paidthemgreatrespect。Notimewaslostinallottingusaprivateroom，whereabottleoficedchampagne-uponwhichItriedtolookwithasmuchindifferenceasIcould——stoodreadywaitingforus，andwherewewereservedwithamostwonderfulrepastselectedbyDubkofffromtheFrenchmenu。Themealwentoffmostgailyandagreeably，notwithstandingthatDubkoff，asusual，toldusblood-curdlingtalesofdoubtfulveracity（amongothers，ataleofhowhisgrandmotheronceshotdeadthreerobberswhowereattackingher——
arecitalatwhichIblushed，closedmyeyes，andturnedawayfromthenarrator），andthatWolodareddenedvisiblywheneverI
openedmymouthtospeak——whichwasthemoreuncalledforonhispart，seeingthatneveronce，sofarasIcanremember，didIsayanythingshameful。Afterwehadbeengivenchampagne，everyonecongratulatedme，andIdrank"handsacross"withDimitriandDubkoff，andwishedthemjoy。Since，however，Ididnotknowtowhomthebottleofchampagnebelonged（itwasexplainedtomelaterthatitwascommonproperty），Iconsideredthat，inreturn，IoughttotreatmyfriendsoutofthemoneywhichIhadneverceasedtofingerinmypocket。Accordingly，Istealthilyextractedaten-roublenote，and，beckoningthewaitertomyside，handedhimthemoney，andtoldhiminawhisper（yetnotsosoftlybutthateveryonecouldhearme，seeingthateveryonewasstaringatmeindeadsilence）to"bring，ifyouplease，ahalf-bottleofchampagne。"AtthisWolodareddenedagain，andbegantofidgetsoviolently，andtogazeuponmyselfandeveryoneelsewithsuchadistractedair，thatIfeltsureIhadsomehowputmyfootinit。
However，thehalf-bottlecame，andwedrankitwithgreatgusto。
Afterthat，thingswentonmerrily。Dubkoffcontinuedhisunendingfairytales，whileWolodaalsotoldfunnystories——andtoldthemwell，too——inawayIshouldneverhavecreditedhim：sothatourlaughterranglongandloud。Theirbesteffortslayinimitation，andinvariantsofacertainwell-knownsaw。"Haveyoueverbeenabroad？"onewouldsaytotheother，forinstance。
"No，"theoneinterrogatedwouldreply，"butmybrotherplaysthefiddle。"Suchperfectionhadthepairattainedinthisspeciesofcomicabsurditythattheycouldansweranyquestionbyitsmeans，whiletheywouldalsoendeavourtounitetwoabsolutelyunconnectedmatterswithoutapreviousquestionhavingbeenaskedatall，yetsayeverythingwithaperfectlyseriousfaceandproduceamostcomiceffect。Itoobegantotrytobefunny，butassoonaseverIspoketheyeitherlookedatmeaskanceordidnotlookatmeuntilIhadfinished：sothatmyanecdotesfellflat。Yet，thoughDubkoffalwaysremarked，"OurDIPLOMATislying，brother，"Ifeltsoexhilaratedwiththechampagneandthecompanyofmyeldersthattheremarkscarcelytouchedme。OnlyDimitri，thoughhedranklevelwiththerestofus，continuedinthesamesevere，seriousframeofmind——afactwhichputacertaincheckuponthegeneralhilarity。
"Now，lookhere，gentlemen，"saidDubkoffatlast。"AfterdinnerweoughttotaketheDIPLOMATinhand。HowwoulditbeforhimtogowithustoseeAuntie？Therewecouldputhimthroughhispaces。"
"Ah，butNechludoffwillnotgothere，"objectedWoloda。
"Ounbearable，insupportablemanofquiethabitsthatyouare！"
criedDubkoff，turningtoDimitri。"Yetcomewithus，andyoushallseewhatanexcellentladymydearAuntieis。"
"Iwillneithergomyselfnorlethimgo，"repliedDimitri。
"Letwhomgo？TheDIPLOMAT？Why，youyourselfsawhowhebrightenedupattheverymentionofAuntie。"
"ItisnotsomuchthatIWILLNOTLETHIMgo，"continuedDimitri，risingandbeginningtopacetheroomwithoutlookingatme，"asthatIneitherwishhimnoradvisehimtogo。Heisnotachildnow，andifhemustgohecangoalone——withoutyou。Surelyyouareashamedofthis，Dubkoff？——ashamedofalwayswantingotherstodoallthewrongthingsthatyouyourselfdo？"
"ButwhatistheresoverywronginmyinvitingyoualltocomeandtakeacupofteawithmyAunt？"saidDubkoff，withawinkatWoloda。"Ifyoudon’tlikeusgoing，itisyouraffair；yetwearegoingallthesame。Areyoucoming，Woloda？"
"Yes，yes，"assentedWoloda。"Wecangothere，andthenreturntomyroomsandcontinueourpiquet。"
"Doyouwanttogowiththemornot？"saidDimitri，approachingme。
"No，"Ireplied，atthesametimemakingroomforhimtositdownbesidemeonthedivan。"Ididnotwishtogoinanycase，andsinceyouadvisemenotto，nothingonearthwillmakemegonow。
Yet，"Iaddedamomentlater，"IcannothonestlysaythatIhaveNOdesiretogo。AllIsayisthatIamgladIamnotgoing。"
"Thatisright，"hesaid。"Liveyourownlife，anddonotdancetoanyone’spiping。Thatisthebetterway。"
Thislittletiffnotonlyfailedtomarourhilarity，butevenincreasedit。DimitrisuddenlyrevertedtothekindlymoodwhichIlovedbest——sogreat（asIafterwardsremarkedonmorethanoneoccasion）wastheinfluencewhichtheconsciousnessofhavingdoneagooddeedexerciseduponhim。Atthepresentmomentthesourceofhissatisfactionwasthefactthathehadstoppedmyexpeditionto"Auntie’s。"Hegrewextraordinarilygay，calledforanotherbottleofchampagne（whichwasagainsthisrules），invitedsomeonewhowasaperfectstrangerintoourroom，pliedhimwithwine，sang"Gaudeamusigitur，"requestedeveryonetojoinhiminthechorus，andproposedthatweshouldandrinkattheSokolniki。[Mews。]
"Letusenjoyourselvesto-night，"hesaidwithalaugh。"Itisinhonourofhismatriculationthatyounowseemegettingdrunkforthefirsttimeinmylife。"
Yetsomehowthismerrimentsatilluponhim。Hewaslikesomegood-naturedfatherortutorwhoispleasedwithhisyoungcharges，andletshimselfgofortheiramusement，yetatthesametimetriestoshowthemthatonecanenjoyoneselfdecentlyandinanhonourablemanner。However，hisunexpectedgaietyhadaninfectiousinfluenceuponmyselfandmycompanions，andthemoresobecauseeachofushadnowdrunkabouthalfabottleofchampagne。
ItwasinthispleasingframeofmindthatIwentoutintothemainsalontosmokeacigarettewhichDubkoffhadgivenme。InrisingInoticedthatmyheadseemedtoswimalittle，andthatmylegsandarmsretainedtheirnaturalpositionsonlywhenI
bentmythoughtsdeterminedlyuponthem。Atothermomentsmylegswoulddeviatefromthestraightline，andmyarmsdescribestrangegestures。Iconcentratedmywholeattentionuponthemembersinquestion，forcedmyhandsfirsttoraisethemselvesandbuttonmytunic，andthentosmoothmyhair（thoughtheyruffledmylocksindoingso），andlastlycommandedmylegstomarchmetothedoor——afunctionwhichtheydulyperformed，thoughatonetimewithtoomuchreluctance，andatanotherwithtoomuchABANDON（theleftleg，inparticular，comingtoahalteverymomentontiptoe）。Someonecalledouttome，"Whereareyougoingto？Theywillbringyouacigar-lightdirectly，"butI
guessedthevoicetobeWoloda’s，and，feelingsatisfied，somehow，thatIhadsucceededindiviningthefact，merelysmiledairilyinreply，andcontinuedonmyway。
XVI
THEQUARREL
InthemainsalonIperceivedsittingatasmalltableashort，squatgentlemanoftheprofessionaltype。Hehadaredmoustache，andwasengagedineatingsomethingoranother，whilebyhissidesatatall，clean-shavenindividualwithwhomhewascarryingonaconversationinFrench。Somehowtheaspectofthesetwopersonsdispleasedme；yetIdecided，forallthat，tolightmycigaretteatthecandelabrumwhichwasstandingbeforethem。Lookingfromsidetoside，toavoidmeetingtheirgaze，Iapproachedthetable，andappliedmycigarettetotheflame。Whenitwasfairlyalight，Iinvoluntarilythrewaglanceatthegentlemanwhowaseating，andfoundhisgreyeyesfixeduponmewithanexpressionofintensedispleasure。JustasIwasturningawayhisredmoustachemovedalittle，andhesaidinFrench：
"IdonotlikepeopletosmokewhenIamdining，mygoodsir。"
Imurmuredsomethinginaudible。
"No，Idonotlikeitatall，"hewentonsternly，andwithaglanceathisclean-shavencompanion，asthoughinvitinghimtoadmirethewayinwhichhewasabouttodealwithme。"Idonotlikeit，mygoodsir，nordoIlikepeoplewhohavetheimpudencetopufftheirsmokeupone’sverynose。"
BythistimeIhadgatheredthatitwasmyselfhewasscolding，andatfirstfeltasthoughIhadbeenaltogetherinthewrong，"Ididnotmeantoinconvenienceyou，"Isaid。
"Well，ifyoudidnotsupposeyouwerebeingimpertinent，atleastIdid！Youareacad，youngsir！"heshoutedinreply。
"Butwhatrighthaveyoutoshoutatmelikethat？"Iexclaimed，feelingthatitwasnowHEthatwasinsultingME，andgrowingangryaccordingly。
"Thismuchright，"hereplied，"thatIneverallowmyselftobeoverlookedbyanyone，andthatIalwaysteachyoungfellowslikeyourselftheirmanners。Whatisyourname，youngsir，andwheredoyoulive？"
AtthisIfeltsohurtthatmyteethchattered，andIfeltasthoughIwerechoking。YetallthewhileIwasconsciousofbeinginthewrong，andso，insteadofofferinganyfurtherrudenesstotheoffendedone，humblytoldhimmynameandaddress。
"AndMYname，youngsir，"hereturned，"isKolpikoff，andIwilltroubleyoutobemorepolitetomeinfuture。——However，Youwillhearfrommeagain"（"vousaurezdemesnouvelles"——theconversationhadbeencarriedonwhollyinFrench），washisconcludingremark。
TothisIreplied，"Ishallbedelighted，"withaninfusionofasmuchhauteurasIcouldmusterintomytone。Then，turningonmyheel，Ireturnedwithmycigarette——whichhadmeanwhilegoneout——
toourownroom。
Isaidnothing，eithertomybrotherormyfriends，aboutwhathadhappened（andthemoresobecausetheywereatthatmomentengagedinadisputeoftheirown），butsatdowninacornertothinkoverthestrangeaffair。Thewords，"Youareacad，youngsir，"vexedmemoreandmorethelongerthattheysoundedinmyears。Mytipsinesswasgonenow，and，inconsideringmyconductduringthedispute，theuncomfortablethoughtcameovermethatI
hadbehavedlikeacoward。
"Yetwhatrighthadhetoattackme？"Ireflected。"WhydidhenotsimplyintimatetomethatIwasannoyinghim？Afterall，itmayhavebeenhethatwasinthewrong。Why，too，whenhecalledmeayoungcad，didInotsaytohim，’Acad，mygoodsir，isonewhotakesoffence’？OrwhydidInotsimplytellhimtoholdhistongue？Thatwouldhavebeenthebettercourse。OrwhydidInotchallengehimtoaduel？No，Ididnoneofthosethings，butswallowedhisinsultslikeawretchedcoward。"
Stillthewords，"Youareacad，youngsir，"keptsoundinginmyearswithmaddeningiteration。"Icannotleavethingsastheyare，"IatlengthdecidedasIrosetomyfeetwiththefixedintentionofreturningtothegentlemanandsayingsomethingoutrageoustohim——perhaps，also，ofbreakingthecandelabrumoverhisheadifoccasionoffered。Yet，thoughIconsideredtheadvisabilityofthislastmeasurewithsomepleasure，itwasnotwithoutagooddealoftrepidationthatIre-enteredthemainsalon。Asluckwouldhaveit，M。Kolpikoffwasnolongerthere，butonlyawaiterengagedinclearingthetable。ForamomentI
feltliketellingthewaiterthewholestory，andexplainingtohimmyinnocenceinthematter，butforsomereasonoranotherI
thoughtbetterofit，andoncemorereturned，inthesamehazyconditionofmind，toourownroom。
"WhathasbecomeofourDIPLOMAT？"Dubkoffwasjustsaying。"UponhimnowhangthefortunesofEurope。"
"Oh，leavemealone，"Isaid，turningmoodilyaway。Then，asI
pacedtheroom，somethingmademebegintothinkthatDubkoffwasnotaltogetheragoodfellow。"Thereisnothingverymuchtoadmireinhiseternaljokesandhisnicknameof’DIPLOMAT，’"I
reflected。"AllhethinksaboutistowinmoneyfromWolodaandtogoandseehis’Auntie。’Thereisnothingveryniceinallthat。Besides，everythinghesayshasatouchofblackguardisminit，andheisforevertryingtomakepeoplelaugh。Inmyopinionheissimplystupidwhenheisnotabsolutelyabrute。"Ispentaboutfiveminutesinthesereflections，andfeltmyenmitytowardsDubkoffcontinuallyincreasing。Forhispart，hetooknonoticeofme，andthatangeredmethemore。IactuallyfeltvexedwithWolodaandDimitribecausetheywentontalkingtohim。
"Itellyouwhat，gentlemen：theDIPLOMAToughttobechristened，"saidDubkoffsuddenly，withaglanceandasmilewhichseemedtomederisive，andeventreacherous。"Yet，0Lord，whatapoorspecimenheis！"
"Youyourselfoughttobechristened，andyouyourselfareasorryspecimen！"Iretortedwithanevilsmile，andactuallyforgettingtoaddresshimas"thou。"[InRussianasinFrench，thesecondpersonsingularistheformofspeechusedbetweenintimatefriends。]
ThisreplyevidentlysurprisedDubkoff，butheturnedawaygood-
humouredly，andwentontalkingtoWolodaandDimitri。Itriedtoedgemyselfintotheconversation，but，sinceIfeltthatIcouldnotkeepitup，Isoonreturnedtomycorner，andremainedthereuntilweleft。
Whenthebillhadbeenpaidandwrapswerebeingputon，DubkoffturnedtoDimitriandsaid："WhitherareOrestesandPedaliongoingnow？Home，Isuppose，totalkaboutlove。Well，letUSgoandseemydearAuntie。Thatwillbefarmoreentertainingthanyoursourcompany。"
"Howdareyouspeaklikethat，andlaughatus？"IburstoutasI
approachedhimwithclenchedfists。"Howdareyoulaughatfeelingswhichyoudonotunderstand？Iwillnothaveyoudoit！
Holdyourtongue！"AtthispointIhadtoholdmyown，forIdidnotknowwhattosaynext，andwas，moreover，outofbreathwithexcitement。AtfirstDubkoffwastakenaback，butpresentlyhetriedtolaughitoff，andtotakeitasajoke。FinallyIwassurprisedtoseehimlookcrestfallen，andlowerhiseyes。
"INEVERlaughatyouoryourfeelings。Itismerelymywayofspeaking，"hesaidevasively。
"Indeed？"Icried；yetthenextmomentIfeltashamedofmyselfandsorryforhim，sincehisflushed，downcastfacehadinitnootherexpressionthanoneofgenuinepain。
"Whatisthematterwithyou？"saidWolodaandDimitrisimultaneously。"Noonewastryingtoinsultyou。"
"Yes，heDIDtrytoinsultme！"Ireplied。
"Whatanextraordinaryfellowyourbrotheris！"saidDubkofftoWoloda。Atthatmomenthewaspassingoutofthedoor，andcouldnothaveheardwhatIsaid。PossiblyIshouldhaveflungmyselfafterhimandofferedhimfurtherinsult，haditnotbeenthatjustatthatmomentthewaiterwhohadwitnessedmyencounterwithKolpikoffhandedmemygreatcoat，andIatoncequieteneddown——merelymakingsuchapretenceofhavinghadadifferencewithDimitriaswasnecessarytomakemysuddenappeasementappearnothingextraordinary。Nextday，whenImetDubkoffatWoloda’s，thequarrelwasnotrakedup，yetheandIstilladdressedeachotheras"you，"andfounditharderthanevertolookoneanotherintheface。
TheremembranceofmyscenewithKolpikoff——who，bytheway，neversentme"desesnouvelles，"eitherthefollowingdayoranydayafterwards——remainedforyearsakeenandunpleasantmemory。
EvensomuchasfiveyearsafterithadhappenedIwouldbeginfidgetingandmutteringtomyselfwheneverIrememberedtheunavengedinsult，andwasfaintocomfortmyselfwiththesatisfactionofrecollectingthesortofyoungfellowIhadshownmyselftobeinmysubsequentaffairwithDubkoff。Infact，itwasonlylaterstillthatIbegantoregardthematterinanotherlight，andbothtorecallwithcomicappreciationmypassageofarmswithKolpikoff，andtoregrettheundeservedaffrontwhichI
hadofferedmygoodfriendDubkoff。
When，atalaterhourontheeveningofthedinner，ItoldDimitriofmyaffairwithKolpikoff，whoseexteriorIdescribedindetail，hewasastounded。
"Thatistheveryman！"hecried。"Don’tyouknowthatthispreciousKolpikoffisaknownscampandsharper，aswellas，aboveallthings，acoward，andthathewasexpelledfromhisregimentbyhisbrotherofficersbecause，havinghadhisfaceslapped，hewouldnotfight？Buthowcameyoutolethimgetaway？"headded，withakindlysmileandglance。"Surelyhecouldnothavesaidmoretoyouthanhedidwhenhecalledyouacad？"
"No，"Iadmittedwithablush。
"Well，itwasnotright，butthereisnogreatharmdone，"saidDimitriconsolingly。
Longafterwards，whenthinkingthematteroveratleisure，I
suddenlycametotheconclusionthatitwasquitepossiblethatKolpikofftooktheopportunityofvicariouslywipingoffuponmetheslapinthefacewhichhehadoncereceived，justasImyselftooktheopportunityofvicariouslywipingoffupontheinnocentDubkofftheepithet"cad"whichKolpikoffhadjustappliedtome。
XVII
IGETREADYTOPAYSOMECALLS
OnawakingnextmorningmyfirstthoughtswereoftheaffairwithKolpikoff。OnceagainImutteredtomyselfandstampedabouttheroom，buttherewasnohelpforit。To-daywasthelastdaythatIwastospendinMoscow，anditwastobespent，byPapa’sorders，inmypayingaroundofcallswhichhehadwrittenoutformeonapieceofpaper——hisfirstsolicitudeonouraccountbeingnotsomuchforourmoralsoroureducationasforourdueobservanceoftheconvenances。Onthepieceofpaperwaswritteninhisswift，brokenhand-writing："（1）PrinceIvanIvanovitchWITHOUTFAIL；（2）theIwinsWITHOUTFAIL；（3）PrinceMichael；（4）
thePrincessNechludoffandMadameValakhinaifyouwish。"OfcourseIwasalsotocalluponmyguardian，upontherector，andupontheprofessors。
Theselast-mentionedcalls，however，Dimitriadvisedmenottopay：sayingthatitwasnotonlyunnecessarytodoso，butnotthething。However，thereweretheothervisitstobegotthrough。Itwasthefirsttwoonthelist——thosemarkedastobepaid"WITHOUTFAIL"——thatmostalarmedme。PrinceIvanIvanovitchwasacommander-in-chief，aswellasold，wealthy，andabachelor。Consequently，Iforesawthatvis-a-visconversationbetweenhimandmyself——myselfasixteen-year-oldstudent！——wasnotlikelytobeinteresting。AsfortheIwins，theytoowererich——thefatherbeingadepartmentalofficialofhighrankwhohadonlyononeoccasioncalledatourhouseduringmygrandmother’stime。Sinceherdeath，IhadremarkedthattheyoungerIwinhadfoughtshyofus，andseemedtogivehimselfairs。Theelderofthepair，Ihadheard，hadnowfinishedhiscourseinjurisprudence，andgonetoholdapostinSt。
Petersburg，whilehisbrotherSergius（theformerobjectofmyworship）wasalsoinSt。Petersburg，asagreatfatcadetintheCorpsofPages。
WhenIwasayoungman，notonlydidIdislikeintercoursewithpeoplewhothoughtthemselvesaboveme，butsuchintercoursewas，forme，anunbearabletorture，owingpartlytomyconstantdreadofbeingsnubbed，andpartlytomystrainingeveryfacultyofmyintellecttoprovetosuchpeoplemyindependence。Yet，evenifI
failedtofulfilthelatterpartofmyfather’sinstructions，I
feltthatImustcarryouttheformer。Ipacedmyroomandeyedmyclothesreadydisposedonchairs——thetunic，thesword，andthecap。JustasIwasabouttosetforth，oldGrapcalledtocongratulateme，bringingwithhimIlinka。GrapperewasaRussianisedGermanandanintolerablyeffusive，sycophanticoldmanwhowasmoreoftenthannottipsy。Asarule，hevisitedusonlywhenhewantedtoaskforsomething，andalthoughPapasometimesentertainedhiminhisstudy，oldGrapnevercametodinnerwithus。Withhissubserviencyandbeggingpropensitieswentsuchafacultyofgood-humourandapowerofmakinghimselfathomethateveryonelookeduponhisattachmenttousasagreathonour。Formypart，however，Ineverlikedhim，andfeltashamedwhenhewasspeaking。
Iwasmuchputoutbythearrivalofthesevisitors，andmadenoefforttoconcealthefact。UponIlinkaIhadbeensousedtolookdown，andhesousedtorecognisemyrighttodoso，thatitdispleasedmetothinkthathewasnowasmuchamatriculatedstudentasmyself。InsomewayheappearedtometohavemadeaPOINTofattainingthatequality。Igreetedthepaircoldly，and，withoutofferingthemanyrefreshment（sinceitwentagainstthegraintodoso，andIthoughttheycouldaskforanything，iftheywantedit，withoutmyfirstinvitingthemtostatetheirrequirements），gaveordersforthedrozhkitobegotready。
Ilinkawasagood-natured，extremelymoral，andfarfromstupidyoungfellow；yet，forallthat，whatpeoplecallapersonofmoods。Thatistosay，fornoapparentreasonhewasforeverinsomePRONOUNCEDframeofmind——nowlachrymose，nowfrivolous，nowtouchyontheverysmallestpoint。Atthepresentmomentheappearedtobeinthelast-namedmood。Hekeptlookingfromhisfathertomyselfwithoutspeaking，exceptwhendirectlyaddressed，atwhichtimeshesmiledtheself-deprecatory，forcedsmileunderwhichhewasaccustomedtoconcealhisfeelings，andmoreespeciallythatfeelingofshameforhisfatherwhichhemusthaveexperiencedinourhouse。
"So，NicolasPetrovitch，"theoldmansaidtome，followingmeeverywhereabouttheroomasIwentthroughtheoperationofdressing，whileallthewhilehisfatfingerskeptturningoverandoverasilversnuff-boxwithwhichmygrandmotherhadoncepresentedme，"assoonaseverIheardfrommysonthatyouhadpassedyourexaminationssowell（thoughofcourseyourabilitiesarewell-knowntoeveryone），Iatoncecametocongratulateyou，mydearboy。Why，Ihavecarriedyouonmyshouldersbeforenow，andGodknowsthatIloveyouasthoughyouweremyownson。MyIlinkatoohasalwaysbeenfondofyou，andfeelsquiteathomewithyou。"
MeanwhilethesaidIlinkaremainedsittingsilentlybythewindow，apparentlyabsorbedincontemplationofmythree-corneredcap，andeverynowandthenangrilymutteringsomethinginanundertone。
"Now，Ialsowantedtoaskyou，NicolasPetrovitch。"Hisfatherwenton，"whethermysondidwellintheexaminations？Hetellsmethatheisgoingtobeinthesamefacultyasyourself，andthatthereforeyouwillbeabletokeepaneyeonhim，andadvisehim，andsoon。"
"Oh，yes，Isupposehepassedwell，"Ireplied，withaglanceatIlinka，who，consciousofmygaze，reddenedviolentlyandceasedtomovehislipsabout。
"Andmighthespendthedaywithyou？"wasthefather’snextrequest，whichhemadewithadeprecatorysmile，asthoughhestoodinactualaweofme，yetalwayskeepingsoclosetome，whereverImoved，thatthefumesofthedrinkandtobaccoinwhichhehadbeenindulgingwereconstantlyperceptibletomynostrils。Ifeltgreatlyvexedathisplacingmeinsuchafalsepositiontowardshisson，aswellasathisdistractingmyattentionfromwhatwas，tome，ahighlyimportantoperation——
namely，theoperationofdressing；while，overandaboveall，I
wasannoyedbythesmellofliquorwithwhichhefollowedmeabout。Accordingly，IsaidverycoldlythatIcouldnothavethepleasureofIlinka’scompanythatday，sinceIshouldbeout。
"Ah！Isupposeyouaregoingtoseeyoursister？"putinIlinkawithasmile，butwithoutlookingatme。"Well，Itoohavebusinesstoattendto。"AtthisIfeltevenmoreputout，aswellasprickedwithcompunction；so，tosoftenmyrefusalalittle，I
hastenedtosaythatthereasonwhyIshouldnotbeathomethatdaywasthatIhadtocalluponthePRINCEIvanIvanovitch，thePRINCESSKornakoff，andtheMonsieurIwinwhoheldsuchaninfluentialpost，aswellas，probably，todinewiththePRINCESS
Nechludoff（forIthoughtthat，onlearningwhatimportantfolkI
wasinthehabitofmixingwith，theGrapswouldnolongerthinkitworthwhiletopretendtome）。However，justastheywereleaving，IinvitedIlinkatocomeandseemeanotherday；butheonlymurmuredsomethingunintelligible，anditwasplainthathemeantnevertosetfootinthehouseagain。
Whentheyhaddeparted，Isetoffonmyroundofcalls。Woloda，whomIhadaskedthatmorningtocomewithme，inorderthatI
mightnotfeelquitesoshyaswhenaltogetheralone，haddeclinedonthegroundthatfortwobrotherstobeseendrivinginonedrozhkiwouldappearsohorribly"proper。"
XVIII
THEVALAKHINFAMILY
AccordinglyIsetoffalone。MyfirstcallontheroutelayattheValakhinmansion。ItwasnowthreeyearssinceIhadseenSonetchka，andmyloveforherhadlongbecomeathingofthepast，yettherestilllingeredinmyheartasortofclear，touchingrecollectionofourbygonechildishaffection。Atintervals，also，duringthosethreeyears，IhadfoundmyselfrecallinghermemorywithsuchforceandvividnessthatIhadactuallyshedtears，andimaginedmyselftobeinlovewithheragain，butthoseoccasionshadnotlastedmorethanafewminutesatatime，andhadbeenlonginrecurring。
IknewthatSonetchkaandhermotherhadbeenabroad——that，infact，theyhadbeensoforthelasttwoyears。Also，Ihadheardthattheyhadbeeninacarriageaccident，andthatSonetchka’sfacehadbeensobadlycutwiththebrokenglassthatherbeautywasmarred。AsIdrovetotheirhouse，IkeptrecallingtheoldSonetchkatomymind，andwonderingwhatshewouldlooklikewhenImether。SomehowIimaginedthat，afterhertwoyears’sojournabroad，shewouldlookverytall，withabeautifulwaist，and，thoughsedateandimposing，extremelyattractive。Somehow，also，myimaginationrefusedtopictureherwithherfacedisfiguredwithscars，but，onthecontrary，sinceIhadreadsomewhereofaloverwhoremainedtruetohisadoredoneinspiteofherdisfigurementwithsmallpox，strovetoimaginethatIwasinlovewithSonetchka，forthepurposeofpridingmyselfonholdingtomytrothinspiteofherscars——Yet，asamatteroffact，Iwasnotreallyinlovewithherduringthatdrive，buthavingoncestirredupinmyselfoldMEMORIESoflove，feltPREPAREDtofallintothatcondition，andthemoresobecause，oflate，myconsciencehadoftenbeenprickingmeforhavingdiscardedsomanyofmyoldflames。
TheValakhinslivedinaneatlittlewoodenmansionapproachedbyacourtyard。Igainedadmittancebyringingabell（thenararityinMoscow），andwasreceivedbyamincing，smartly-attiredpage。
Heeithercouldnotormadenoattempttoinformmewhethertherewasanyoneathome，but，leavingmealoneinthedarkhall，ranoffdownastilldarkercorridor。ForalongtimeIwaitedinsolitudeinthisgloomyplace，outofwhich，inadditiontothefrontdoorandthecorridor，thereonlyopenedadoorwhichatthemomentwasclosed。Rathersurprisedatthedismalappearanceofthehouse，Icametotheconclusionthatthereasonwasthatitsinmateswerestillabroad。Afterfiveminutes，however，thedoorleadingintothesalonwasopenedbythepageboy，whothenconductedmeintoaneat，butnotrichlyfurnished，drawing-room，wherepresentlyIwasjoinedbySonetchka。
Shewasnowseventeenyearsold，andverysmallandthin，aswellasofanunhealthypallorofface。Noscarsatallwerevisible，however，andthebeautiful，prominenteyesandbright，cheerfulsmilewerethesameasIhadknownandlovedinmychildhood。I
hadnotexpectedhertolookatalllikethis，andthereforecouldnotatoncelavishuponherthesentimentwhichIhadbeenpreparingontheway。ShegavemeherhandintheEnglishfashion（whichwasthenasmuchanoveltyasadoor-bell），and，bestowinguponmineafranksqueeze，satdownonthesofabymyside。
"Ah！howgladIamtoseeyou，mydearNicolas！"shesaidasshelookedmeinthefacewithanexpressionofpleasuresosincerethatinthewords"mydearNicolas"Icaughtthepurelyfriendlyratherthanthepatronisingnote。Tomysurprisesheseemedtomesimpler，kinder，andmoresisterlyafterherforeigntourthanshehadbeenbeforeit。True，Icouldnowseethatshehadtwosmallscarsbetweenhernoseandtemples，butherwonderfuleyesandsmilefittedinexactlywithmyrecollections，andshoneasofold。
"Buthowgreatlyyouhavechanged！"shewenton。"Youarequitegrown-upnow。AndI-I-well，whatdoyouthinkofme？"
"Ishouldneverhaveknownyou，"Ireplied，despitethefactthatatthemomentIwasthinkingthatIshouldhaveknownheranywhereandalways。
"Why？AmIgrownsougly？"sheinquiredwithamovementofherhead。
"Oh，no，decidedlynot！"Ihastenedtoreply。"Butyouhavegrowntallerandolder。Asforbeinguglier，why，youareeven——
"Yes，yes；nevermind。Doyourememberourdancesandgames，andSt。Jerome，andMadameDorat？"（Asamatteroffact，IcouldnotrecollectanyMadameDorat，butsawthatSonetchkawasbeingledawaybythejoyofherchildishrecollections，andmixingthemupalittle）。"Ah！whatalovelytimeitwas！"shewenton——andoncemorethereshonebeforemethesameeyesandsmileasIhadalwayscarriedinmymemory。Whileshehadbeenspeaking，Ihadbeenthinkingovermypositionatthepresentmoment，andhadcometotheconclusionthatIwasinlovewithher。Theinstant，however，thatIarrivedatthatresultmycareless，happymoodvanished，amistseemedtoarisebeforemewhichconcealedevenhereyesandsmile，and，blushinghotly，Ibecametongue-tiedandill-at-ease。
"Buttimesaredifferentnow，"shewentonwithasighandalittleliftingofhereyebrows。"Everythingseemsworsethanitusedtobe，andourselvestoo。Isitnotso，Nicolas？"
Icouldreturnhernoanswer，butsatsilentlylookingather。
"WherearethoseIwinsandKornakoffsnow？Doyourememberthem？"
shecontinued，looking，Ithink，withsomecuriosityatmyblushing，downcastcountenance。"Whatsplendidtimesweusedtohave！"
StillIcouldnotanswerher。
Thenextmoment，IwasrelievedfromthisawkwardpositionbytheentryofoldMadameValakhinintotheroom。Rising，Ibowed，andstraightwayrecoveredmyfacultyofspeech。Ontheotherhand，anextraordinarychangenowtookplaceinSonetchka。Allhergaietyandbonhomiedisappeared，hersmilebecamequiteadifferentone，and，exceptforthepointofhershortnessofstature，shebecamejusttheladyfromabroadwhomIhadexpectedtofindinher。Yetforthischangetherewasnoapparentreason，sincehermothersmiledeverywhitaspleasantly，andexpressedinhereverymovementjustthesamebenignity，asofold。Seatingherselfinherarm-chair，theoldladysignedtometocomeandsitbesideher；afterwhichshesaidsomethingtoherdaughterinEnglish，andSonetchkalefttheroom——afactwhichstillfurtherhelpedtorelieveme。Madametheninquiredaftermyfatherandbrother，andpassedontospeakofhergreatbereavement——thelossofherhusband。Presently，however，sheseemedtobecomesensibleofthefactthatIwasnothelpingmuchintheconversation，forshegavemealookasmuchastosay："If，now，mydearboy，youweretogetup，totakeyourleave，andtodepart，itwouldbewell。"
Butacuriouscircumstancehadovertakenme。Whileshehadbeenspeakingofherbereavement，Ihadrecalledtomyself，notonlythefactthatIwasinlove，buttheprobabilitythatthemotherknewofit：whereuponsuchafitofbashfulnesshadcomeuponmethatIfeltpowerlesstoputanymemberofmybodytoitslegitimateuse。IknewthatifIweretoriseandwalkIshouldhavetothinkwheretoplanteachfoot，whattodowithmyhead，whatwithmyhands，andsoon。Inaword，IforesawthatIshouldbeverymuchasIhadbeenonthenightwhenIpartooktoofreelyofchampagne，andtherefore，sinceIfeltuncertainofbeingabletomanagemyselfifIDIDrise，IendedbyfeelingUNABLEtorise。Meanwhile，Ishouldsay，Sonetchkahadreturnedtotheroomwithherwork，andseatedherselfinafarcorner——acornerwhence，asIwasneverthelesssensible，shecouldobserveme。
Madamemusthavefeltsomesurpriseasshegazedatmycrimsonfaceandnotedmycompleteimmobility，butIdecidedthatitwasbettertocontinuesittinginthatabsurdpositionthantorisksomethingunpleasantbygettingupandwalking。ThusIsatonandon，inthehopethatsomeunforeseenchancewoulddelivermefrommypredicament。Thatunforeseenchanceatlengthpresenteditselfinthepersonofanunforeseenyoungman，whoenteredtheroomwithanairofbeingoneofthehousehold，andbowedtomepolitelyashedidso：whereuponMadamerose，excusedherselftomeforhavingtospeakwithher"hommed’affaires，"andfinallygavemeaglancewhichsaid："Well，ifyouDOmeantogoonsittingthereforever，atleastIcan’tdriveyouaway。"
Accordingly，withagreateffortIalsorose，but，findingitimpossibletodoanyleave-taking，movedawaytowardsthedoor，followedbythepityingglancesofmotheranddaughter。AllatonceIstumbledoverachair，althoughitwaslyingquiteoutofmyroute：thereasonformystumblingbeingthatmywholeattentionwascentreduponnottrippingoverthecarpet。Drivingthroughthefreshair，however——whereatfirstImutteredandfidgetedaboutsomuchthatKuzma，mycoachman，askedmewhatwasthematter——Isoonfoundthisfeelingpassaway，andbegantomeditatequietlyconcerningmyloveforSonetchkaandherrelationswithhermother，whichhadappearedtomeratherstrange。When，afterwards，Itoldmyfatherthatmotheranddaughterhadnotseemedonthebestoftermswithoneanother，hesaid：
"Yes，Madameleadsthepoorgirlanawfullifewithhermeanness。
Yet，"addedmyfatherwithagreaterdisplayoffeelingthanamanmightnaturallyconceiveforamererelative，"sheusedtobesuchanoriginal，dear，charmingwoman！Icannotthinkwhathasmadeherchangesomuch。Bytheway，youdidn’tnoticeasecretaryfellowabout，didyou？FancyaRussianladyhavinganaffairewithasecretary！"
"Yes，Isawhim，"Ireplied。
"Andwasheatleastgood-looking？"
"No，notatall。"
"Itisextraordinary！"concludedPapa，withacoughandanirritablehoistofhisshoulder。
"Well，Iaminlove！"wasmysecretthoughttomyselfasIdrovealonginmydrozhki。
XIX
THEKORNAKOFFS
MYsecondcallontheroutelayattheKornakoffs’，wholivedonthefirstfloorofalargemansionfacingtheArbat。Thestaircaseofthebuildinglookedextremelyneatandorderly，yetinnowayluxurious——beinglinedonlywithdruggetpinneddownwithhighly-polishedbrassrods。Nowherewerethereanyflowersormirrorstobeseen。Thesalon，too，withitspolishedfloor，whichItraversedonmywaytothedrawing-room，wasdecoratedinthesamecold，severe，unostentatiousstyle。Everythinginitlookedbrightandsolid，butnotnew，andpictures，flower-
stands，andarticlesofbric-a-bracwerewhollyabsent。Inthedrawing-roomIfoundsomeoftheyoungprincessesseated，butseatedwiththesortofcorrect，"company"airaboutthemwhichgaveonetheimpressionthattheysatlikethatonlywhenguestswereexpected。
"Mammawillbeherepresently，"theeldestofthemsaidtomeassheseatedherselfbymyside。Forthenextquarterofanhour，thisyoungladyentertainedmewithsuchaneasyflowofsmall-
talkthattheconversationneverflaggedamoment。YetsomehowshemadesopatentthefactthatshewasjustentertainingmethatIfeltnotaltogetherpleased。Amongstotherthings，shetoldmethattheirbrotherStephen（whomtheycalledEtienne，andwhohadbeentwoyearsattheCollegeofCadets）hadnowreceivedhiscommission。Whenevershespokeofhim，andmoreparticularlywhenshetoldmethathehadfloutedhismother’swishesbyenteringtheHussars，sheassumedanervousair，andimmediatelyhersisters，sittingthereinsilence，alsoassumedanervousair。When，again，shespokeofmygrandmother’sdeath，sheassumedaMOURNFULair，andimmediatelytheothersalldidthesame。Finally，whensherecalledhowIhadoncestruckSt。Jeromeandbeenexpelledfromtheroom，shelaughedandshowedherbadteeth，andimmediatelyalltheotherprincesseslaughedandshowedtheirbadteethtoo。
Next，thePrincess-Motherherselfentered——alittledried-upwoman，withawanderingglanceandahabitofalwayslookingatsomebodyelsewhenshewasaddressingone。Takingmyhand，sheraisedherowntomylipsformetokissit——whichotherwise，notsupposingittobenecessary，Ishouldnothavedone。
"HowpleasedIamtoseeyou！"shesaidwithherusualclearnessofarticulationasshegazedatherdaughters。"Andhowlikeyourmotheryoulook！Doeshenot，Lise？"
Liseassented，thoughIknewforafactthatIdidnotresemblemymotherintheleast。
"Andwhatagrown-upyouhavebecome！MyEtienne，youwillremember，isyoursecondcousin。No，notsecondcousin——whatisit，Lise？MymotherwasBarbaraDimitrievna，daughterofDimitriNicolaevitch，andyourgrandmotherwasNataliaNicolaevna。"
"ThenheisourTHIRDcousin，Mamma，"saidtheeldestgirl。
"Oh，howyoualwaysconfuseme！"washermother’sangryreply。
"Notthirdcousin，butCOUSINGERMAN——thatisyourrelationshiptoEtienne。Heisanofficernow。Didyouknowit？Itisnotwellthatheshouldhavehisownwaytoomuch。Youyoungmenneedkeepinginhand，or——！Well，youarenotvexedbecauseyouroldaunttellsyoutheplaintruth？IalwayskeptEtiennestrictlyinhand，forIfounditnecessarytodoso。"
"Yes，thatishowourrelationshipstands，"shewenton。"PrinceIvanIvanovitchismyuncle，andyourlatemother’sunclealso。
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