"Butthisisameretrifle。Mymother，distractedtothehighestdegree，andyetlessafflictedthanI，determinedtoabsentherselfforsometimefromsofatalaplace。AsshehadaveryfineestateintheneighborhoodofGaeta，weembarkedonboardagalley，whichwasgildedlikethehighaltarofSt。
Peter’s，atRome。InourpassagewewereboardedbyaSalleerover。OurmendefendedthemselvesliketruePope’ssoldiers;theyflungthemselvesupontheirknees，laiddowntheirarms，andbeggedthecorsairtogivethemabsolutioninarticulomortis。
"TheMoorspresentlystrippedusasbareaseverwewereborn。Mymother，mymaidsofhonor，andmyself，wereservedallinthesamemanner。Itisamazinghowquickthesegentryareatundressingpeople。
Butwhatsurprisedmemostwas，thattheymadearudesortofsurgicalexaminationofpartsofthebodywhicharesacredtothefunctionsofnature。Ithoughtitaverystrangekindofceremony;forthuswearegenerallyapttojudgeofthingswhenwehavenotseentheworld。Iafterwardslearnedthatitwastodiscoverifwehadanydiamondsconcealed。Thispracticehadbeenestablishedsincetimeimmemorialamongthosecivilizednationsthatscourtheseas。IwasinformedthatthereligiousKnightsofMaltaneverfailtomakethissearchwheneveranyMoorsofeithersexfallintotheirhands。Itisapartofthelawofnations，fromwhichtheyneverdeviate。
"IneednottellyouhowgreatahardshipitwasforayoungprincessandhermothertobemadeslavesandcarriedtoMorocco。Youmayeasilyimaginewhatwemusthavesufferedonboardacorsair。
Mymotherwasstillextremelyhandsome，ourmaidsofhonor，andevenourcommonwaiting-women，hadmorecharmsthanweretobefoundinallAfrica。
"Astomyself，Iwasenchanting;Iwasbeautyitself，andthenIhadmyvirginity。But，alas！Ididnotretainitlong;thispreciousflower，whichhadbeenreservedforthelovelyPrinceofMassaCarrara，wascroppedbythecaptainoftheMoorishvessel，whowasahideousNegro，andthoughthedidmeinfinitehonor。Indeed，boththePrincessofPalestrinaandmyselfmusthavehadverystrongconstitutionstoundergoallthehardshipsandviolenceswesufferedbeforeourarrivalatMorocco。ButIwillnotdetainyouanylongerwithsuchcommonthings;theyarehardlyworthmentioning。
"UponourarrivalatMoroccowefoundthatkingdomdelugedwithblood。
FiftysonsoftheEmperorMuleyIshmaelwereeachattheheadofaparty。
Thisproducedfiftycivilwarsofblacksagainstblacks，oftawniesagainsttawnies，andofmulattoesagainstmulattoes。Inshort，thewholeempirewasonecontinuedsceneofcarnage。
"Nosoonerwerewelandedthanapartyofblacks，ofacontraryfactiontothatofmycaptain，cametorobhimofhisbooty。Nexttothemoneyandjewels，wewerethemostvaluablethingshehad。IwitnessedonthisoccasionsuchabattleasyouneverbeheldinyourcoldEuropeanclimates。
Thenorthernnationshavenotthatfermentationintheirblood，northatraginglustforwomenthatissocommoninAfrica。ThenativesofEuropeseemtohavetheirveinsfilledwithmilkonly;butfireandvitriolcirculateinthoseoftheinhabitantsofMountAtlasandtheneighboringprovinces。Theyfoughtwiththefuryofthelions，tigers，andserpentsoftheircountry，todecidewhoshouldhaveus。AMoorseizedmymotherbytherightarm，whilemycaptain’slieutenantheldherbytheleft;anotherMoorlaidholdofherbytherightleg，andoneofourcorsairsheldherbytheother。Inthismanneralmostallofourwomenweredraggedbyfoursoldiers。
"Mycaptainkeptmeconcealedbehindhim，andwithhisdrawnscimitarcutdowneveryonewhoopposedhim;atlengthIsawallourItalianwomenandmymothermangledandtorninpiecesbythemonsterswhocontendedforthem。Thecaptives，mycompanions，theMoorswhotookus，thesoldiers，thesailors，theblacks，thewhites，themulattoes，andlastly，mycaptainhimself，wereallslain，andIremainedaloneexpiringuponaheapofdeadbodies。Similarbarbarousscenesweretransactedeverydayoverthewholecountry，whichisofthreehundredleaguesinextent，andyettheynevermissedthefivestatedtimesofprayerenjoinedbytheirprophetMahomet。
"Idisengagedmyselfwithgreatdifficultyfromsuchaheapofcorpses，andmadeashifttocrawltoalargeorangetreethatstoodonthebankofaneighboringrivulet，whereIfelldownexhaustedwithfatigue，andoverwhelmedwithhorror，despair，andhunger。Mysensesbeingoverpowered，Ifellasleep，orratherseemedtobeinatrance。ThusIlayinastateofweaknessandinsensibilitybetweenlifeanddeath，whenIfeltmyselfpressedbysomethingthatmovedupanddownuponmybody。Thisbroughtmetomyself。Iopenedmyeyes，andsawaprettyfair-facedman，whosighedandmutteredthesewordsbetweenhisteeth，’Ochesciagurad’esseresenzacoglioni！’"
chapter12CHAPTERXII
THEADVENTURESOFTHEOLDWOMANCONTINUED
Astonishedanddelightedtohearmynativelanguage，andnolesssurprisedattheyoungman’swords，Itoldhimthattherewerefargreatermisfortunesintheworldthanwhathecomplainedof。Andtoconvincehimofit，Igavehimashorthistoryofthehorribledisastersthathadbefallenme;andassoonasIhadfinished，fellintoaswoonagain。
"Hecarriedmeinhisarmstoaneighboringcottage，wherehehadmeputtobed，procuredmesomethingtoeat，waitedonmewiththegreatestattention，comfortedme，caressedme，toldmethathehadneverseenanythingsoperfectlybeautifulasmyself，andthathehadneversomuchregrettedthelossofwhatnoonecouldrestoretohim。
"’IwasbornatNaples，’saidhe，’wheretheymakeeunuchsofthousandsofchildreneveryyear;somedieoftheoperation;someacquirevoicesfarbeyondthemosttunefulofyourladies;andothersaresenttogovernstatesandempires。Iunderwentthisoperationverysuccessfully，andwasoneofthesingersinthePrincessofPalestrina’schapel。’
"’How，’criedI，’inmymother’schapel！’
"’ThePrincessofPalestrina，yourmother！’criedhe，burstingintoafloodoftears。’IsitpossibleyoushouldbethebeautifulyoungprincesswhomIhadthecareofbringinguptillshewassixyearsold，andwhoatthattenderagepromisedtobeasfairasInowbeholdyou？’
"’Iamthesame，’Ireplied。’Mymotherliesaboutahundredyardsfromherecutinpiecesandburiedunderaheapofdeadbodies。’
"Ithenrelatedtohimallthathadbefallenme，andheinreturnacquaintedmewithallhisadventures，andhowhehadbeensenttothecourtoftheKingofMoroccobyaChristianprincetoconcludeatreatywiththatmonarch;inconsequenceofwhichhewastobefurnishedwithmilitarystores，andshipstodestroythecommerceofotherChristiangovernments。
"’Ihaveexecutedmycommission，’saidtheeunuch;’IamgoingtotakeshipatCeuta，andI’lltakeyoualongwithmetoItaly。Machesciagurad’esseresenzacoglioni！’
"Ithankedhimwithtearsofjoy，but，notwithstanding，insteadoftakingmewithhimtoItaly，hecarriedmetoAlgiers，andsoldmetotheDeyofthatprovince。Ihadnotbeenlongaslavewhentheplague，whichhadmadethetourofAfrica，Asia，andEurope，brokeoutatAlgierswithredoubledfury。
Youhaveseenanearthquake;buttellme，miss，haveyoueverhadtheplague？"
"Never"，answeredtheyoungBaroness。
"Ifyouhadeverhadit"，continuedtheoldwoman，"youwouldownanearthquakewasatrifletoit。ItisverycommoninAfrica;
Iwasseizedwithit。
FiguretoyourselfthedistressedconditionofthedaughterofaPope，onlyfifteenyearsold，andwhoinlessthanthreemonthshadfeltthemiseriesofpovertyandslavery;hadbeendebauchedalmosteveryday;
hadbeheldhermothercutintofourquarters;hadexperiencedthescourgesoffamineandwar;andwasnowdyingoftheplagueatAlgiers。Ididnot，however，dieofit;butmyeunuch，andtheDey，andalmostthewholeseraglioofAlgiers，weresweptoff。
"Assoonasthefirstfuryofthisdreadfulpestilencewasover，asalewasmadeoftheDey’sslaves。IwaspurchasedbyamerchantwhocarriedmetoTunis。Thismansoldmetoanothermerchant，whosoldmeagaintoanotheratTripoli;fromTripoliIwassoldtoAlexandria，fromAlexandriatoSmyrna，andfromSmyrnatoConstantinople。Aftermanychanges，IatlengthbecamethepropertyofanAgaoftheJanissaries，who，soonafterI
cameintohispossession，wasorderedawaytothedefenseofAzoff，thenbesiegedbytheRussians。
"TheAga，beingveryfondofwomen，tookhiswholeseragliowithhim，andlodgedusinasmallfort，withtwoblackeunuchsandtwentysoldiersforourguard。OurarmymadeagreatslaughteramongtheRussians;
buttheysoonreturnedusthecompliment。Azoffwastakenbystorm，andtheenemysparedneitherage，sex，norcondition，butputalltothesword，andlaidthecityinashes。Ourlittlefortaloneheldout;theyresolvedtoreduceusbyfamine。Thetwentyjanissaries，whowerelefttodefendit，hadboundthemselvesbyanoathnevertosurrendertheplace。Beingreducedtotheextremityoffamine，theyfoundthemselvesobligedtokillourtwoeunuchs，andeatthemratherthanviolatetheiroath。Butthishorriblerepastsoonfailingthem，theynextdeterminedtodevourthewomen。
"Wehadaverypiousandhumaneman，whogavethemamostexcellentsermononthisoccasion，exhortingthemnottokillusallatonce。’Cutoffonlyoneofthebuttocksofeachofthoseladies，’saidhe，’andyouwillfareextremelywell;ifyouareunderthenecessityofhavingrecoursetothesameexpedientagain，youwillfindthelikesupplyafewdayshence。
Heavenwillapproveofsocharitableanaction，andworkyourdeliverance。’
"Bytheforceofthiseloquenceheeasilypersuadedthem，andallofusunderwenttheoperation。Themanappliedthesamebalsamastheydotochildrenaftercircumcision。Wewereallreadytogiveuptheghost。
"TheJanissarieshadscarcelytimetofinishtherepastwithwhichwehadsuppliedthem，whentheRussiansattackedtheplacebymeansofflat-bottomedboats，andnotasinglejanissaryescaped。
TheRussianspaidnoregardtotheconditionwewerein;butthereareFrenchsurgeonsinallpartsoftheworld，andoneofthemtookusunderhiscare，andcuredus。I
shallneverforget，whileIlive，thatassoonasmywoundswereperfectlyhealedhemademecertainproposals。Ingeneral，hedesiredusalltobeofagoodcheer，assuringusthatthelikehadhappenedinmanysieges;andthatitwasperfectlyagreeabletothelawsofwar。
"Assoonasmycompanionswereinaconditiontowalk，theyweresenttoMoscow。Asforme，IfelltothelotofaBoyard，whoputmetoworkinhisgarden，andgavemetwentylashesaday。Butthisnoblemanhavingabouttwoyearsafterwardsbeenbrokenaliveuponthewheel，withaboutthirtyothers，forsomecourtintrigues，Itookadvantageoftheevent，andmademyescape。ItraveledoveragreatpartofRussia。Iwasalongtimeaninnkeeper’sservantatRiga，thenatRostock，Wismar，Leipsic，Cassel，Utrecht，Leyden，TheHague，andRotterdam。Ihavegrownoldinmiseryanddisgrace，livingwithonlyonebuttock，andhavinginperpetualremembrancethatIamaPope’sdaughter。Ihavebeenahundredtimesuponthepointofkillingmyself，butstillIwasfondoflife。Thisridiculousweaknessis，perhaps，oneofthedangerousprinciplesimplantedinournature。Forwhatcanbemoreabsurdthantopersistincarryingaburdenofwhichwewishtobeeased？todetest，andyettostrivetopreserveourexistence？Inaword，tocaresstheserpentthatdevoursus，andhughimclosetoourbosomstillhehasgnawedintoourhearts？
"Inthedifferentcountrieswhichithasbeenmyfatetotraverse，andatthemanyinnswhereIhavebeenaservant，Ihaveobservedaprodigiousnumberofpeoplewhoheldtheirexistenceinabhorrence，andyetIneverknewmorethantwelvewhovoluntarilyputanendtotheirmisery;namely，threeNegroes，fourEnglishmen，asmanyGenevese，andaGermanprofessornamedRobek。MylastplacewaswiththeJew，DonIssachar，whoplacedmenearyourperson，myfairlady;towhosefortunesIhaveattachedmyself，andhavebeenmoreconcernedwithyouradventuresthanwithmyown。Ishouldneverhaveevenmentionedthelattertoyou，hadyounotalittlepiquedmeontheheadofsufferings;andifitwerenotcustomarytotellstoriesonboardashipinordertopassawaythetime。
"Inshort，mydearmiss，Ihaveagreatdealofknowledgeandexperienceintheworld，thereforetakemyadvice：divertyourself，andprevailuponeachpassengertotellhisstory，andifthereisoneofthemallthathasnotcursedhisexistencemanytimes，andsaidtohimselfoverandoveragainthathewasthemostwretchedofmortals，Igiveyouleavetothrowmeheadfirstintothesea。"
chapter13CHAPTERXIII
HOWCANDIDEWASOBLIGEDTOLEAVETHE
FAIR
CUNEGONDEANDTHEOLDWOMAN
ThefairCunegonde，beingthusmadeacquaintedwiththehistoryoftheoldwoman’slifeandadventures，paidheralltherespectandcivilityduetoapersonofherrankandmerit。Sheveryreadilyaccededtoherproposalofengagingthepassengerstorelatetheiradventuresintheirturns，andwasatlength，aswellasCandide，compelledtoacknowledgethattheoldwomanwasintheright。
"Itisathousandpities"，saidCandide，"thatthesagePanglossshouldhavebeenhangedcontrarytothecustomofanauto-da-fe，forhewouldhavegivenusamostadmirablelectureonthemoralandphysicalevilwhichoverspreadstheearthandsea;andIthinkIshouldhavecourageenoughtopresumetooffer（withallduerespect）somefewobjections。"
Whileeveryonewasrecitinghisadventures，theshipcontinuedonherway，andatlengtharrivedatBuenosAyres，whereCunegonde，CaptainCandide，andtheoldwoman，landedandwenttowaituponthegovernor，DonFernandod’IbaraayFigueorayMascarenesyLampourdosySouza。
Thisnoblemancarriedhimselfwithahaughtinesssuitabletoapersonwhoboresomanynames。Hespokewiththemostnobledisdaintoeveryone，carriedhisnosesohigh，strainedhisvoicetosuchapitch，assumedsoimperiousanair，andstalkedwithsomuchloftinessandpride，thateveryonewhohadthehonorofconversingwithhimwasviolentlytemptedtobastinadeHisExcellency。Hewasimmoderatelyfondofwomen，andMissCunegondeappearedinhiseyesaparagonofbeauty。Thefirstthinghedidwastoaskherifshewasnotthecaptain’swife。TheairwithwhichhemadethisdemandalarmedCandide，whodidnotdaretosayhewasmarriedtoher，becauseindeedhewasnot;neitherdidheventuretosayshewashissister，becauseshewasnot;andthoughalieofthisnatureprovedofgreatservicetooneoftheancients，andmightpossiblybeusefultosomeofthemoderns，yetthepurityofhisheartwouldnotpermithimtoviolatethetruth。
"MissCunegonde"，repliedhe，"istodomethehonortomarryme，andwehumblybeseechYourExcellencytocondescendtogracetheceremonywithyourpresence。"
DonFernandod’IbaraayFigueorayMascarenesyLampourdosySouza，twirlinghismustachio，andputtingonasarcasticsmile，orderedCaptainCandidetogoandreviewhiscompany。ThegentleCandideobeyed，andtheGovernorwasleftwithMissCunegonde。Hemadeherastrongdeclarationoflove，protestingthathewasreadytogiveherhishandinthefaceoftheChurch，orotherwise，asshouldappearmostagreeabletoayoungladyofherprodigiousbeauty。Cunegondedesiredleavetoretireaquarterofanhourtoconsulttheoldwoman，anddeterminehowsheshouldproceed。
Theoldwomangaveherthefollowingcounsel：
"Miss，youhaveseventy-twoquarteringsinyourarms，itistrue，butyouhavenotapennytoblessyourselfwith。ItisyourownfaultifyoudonotbecomethewifeofoneofthegreatestnoblemeninSouthAmerica，withanexceedingfinemustachio。Whatbusinesshaveyoutoprideyourselfuponanunshakenconstancy？YouhavebeenoutragedbyaBulgariansoldier;aJewandanInquisitorhavebothtastedofyourfavors。
Peopletakeadvantageofmisfortunes。Imustconfess，wereIinyourplace，Ishould，withouttheleastscruple，givemyhandtotheGovernor，andtherebymakethefortuneofthebraveCaptainCandide。"
Whiletheoldwomanwasthusharanguing，withalltheprudencethatoldageandexperiencefurnish，asmallbarkenteredtheharbor，inwhichwasanalcaydeandhisalguazils。Mattershadfallenoutasfollows。
TheoldwomanrightlyguessedthattheFranciscanwiththelongsleeves，wasthepersonwhohadtakenMissCunegonde’smoneyandjewels，whiletheyandCandidewereatBadajoz，intheirflightfromLisbon。Thissamefriarattemptedtosellsomeofthediamondstoajeweler，whopresentlyknewthemtohavebelongedtotheGrandInquisitor，andstoppedthem。TheFranciscan，beforehewashanged，acknowledgedthathehadstolenthemanddescribedthepersons，andtheroadtheyhadtaken。
TheflightofCunegondeandCandidewasalreadythetowntalk。TheysentinpursuitofthemtoCadiz;andthevesselwhichhadbeensenttomakethegreaterdispatch，hadnowreachedtheportofBuenosAyres。A
reportwasspreadthatanalcaydewasgoingtoland，andthathewasinpursuitofthemurderersofMyLord，theInquisitor。Thesageoldwomanimmediatelysawwhatwastobedone。
"Youcannotrunaway"，saidshetoCunegonde，"butyouhavenothingtofear;itwasnotyouwhokilledMyLordInquisitor：besides，astheGovernorisinlovewithyou，hewillnotsufferyoutobeill-treated;
thereforestandyourground。"
ThenhurryingawaytoCandide，shesaid，"Begonehencethisinstant，oryouwillbeburnedalive。"
Candidefoundtherewasnotimetobelost;buthowcouldhepartfromCunegonde，andwhithermustheflyforshelter？
chapter14CHAPTERXIV
THERECEPTIONCANDIDEANDCACAMBOMETWITH
AMONGTHEJESUITSINPARAGUAY
CandidehadbroughtwithhimfromCadizsuchafootmanasoneoftenmeetswithonthecoastsofSpainandinthecolonies。
HewasthefourthpartofaSpaniard，ofamongrelbreed，andborninTucuman。
Hehadsuccessivelygonethroughtheprofessionofasingingboy，sexton，sailor，monk，peddler，soldier，andlackey。HisnamewasCacambo;
hehadagreataffectionforhismaster，becausehismasterwasaverygoodman。HeimmediatelysaddledthetwoAndalusianhorses。
"Come，mygoodmaster，letusfollowtheoldwoman’sadvice，andmakeallthehastewecanfromthisplacewithoutstayingtolookbehindus。"
Candideburstintoafloodoftears，"OmydearCunegonde，mustIthenbecompelledtoquityoujustastheGovernorwasgoingtohonoruswithhispresenceatourwedding！Cunegonde，solonglostandfoundagain，whatwillnowbecomeofyou？"
"Lord！"saidCacambo，’shemustdoaswellasshecan;
womenareneverataloss。Godtakescareofthem，andsoletusmakethebestofourway。"
"Butwhitherwiltthoucarryme？wherecanwego？whatcanwedowithoutCunegonde？"criedthedisconsolateCandide。
"BySt。JamesofCompostella"，saidCacambo，"youweregoingtofightagainsttheJesuitsofParaguay;nowletusgoandfightforthem;Iknowtheroadperfectlywell;I’llconductyoutotheirkingdom;
theywillbedelightedwithacaptainthatunderstandstheBulgariandrill;youwillcertainlymakeaprodigiousfortune。Ifwecannotsucceedinthisworldwemayinanother。Itisagreatpleasuretoseenewobjectsandperformnewexploits。"
"ThenyouhavebeeninParaguay？"askedCandide。
"Ay，marry，Ihave"，repliedCacambo。"IwasascoutintheCollegeoftheAssumption，andamaswellacquaintedwiththenewgovernmentoftheLosPadresasIamwiththestreetsofCadiz。Oh，itisanadmirablegovernment，thatismostcertain！Thekingdomisatpresentupwardsofthreehundredleaguesindiameter，anddividedintothirtyprovinces;
thefatherstherearemastersofeverything，andthepeoplehavenomoneyatall;thisyoumustallowisthemasterpieceofjusticeandreason。Formypart，Iseenothingsodivineasthegoodfathers，whowagewarinthispartoftheworldagainstthetroopsofSpainandPortugal，atthesametimethattheyheartheconfessionsofthoseveryprincesinEurope;whokillSpaniardsinAmericaandsendthemtoHeavenatMadrid。Thispleasesmeexceedingly，butletuspushforward;youaregoingtoseethehappiestandmostfortunateofallmortals。HowcharmedwillthosefathersbetohearthatacaptainwhounderstandstheBulgarianmilitarydrilliscomingtothem。"
Assoonastheyreachedthefirstbarrier，Cacambocalledtotheadvanceguard，andtoldthemthatacaptainwantedtospeaktoMyLord，theGeneral。Noticewasgiventothemainguard，andimmediatelyaParaguayanofficerrantothrowhimselfatthefeetoftheCommandanttoimpartthisnewstohim。CandideandCacambowereimmediatelydisarmed，andtheirtwoAndalusianhorseswereseized。Thetwostrangerswereconductedbetweentwofilesofmusketeers，theCommandantwasatthefurtherendwithathree-corneredcaponhishead，hisgowntuckedup，aswordbyhisside，andahalf-pikeinhishand;hemadeasign，andinstantlyfourandtwentysoldiersdrewuproundthenewcomers。
Asergeanttoldthemthattheymustwait，theCommandantcouldnotspeaktothem;andthattheReverendFatherProvincialdidnotsufferanySpaniardtoopenhismouthbutinhispresence，ortostayabovethreehoursintheprovince。
"AndwhereistheReverendFatherProvincial？"saidCacambo。
"HehasjustcomefromMassandisattheparade"，repliedthesergeant，"andinaboutthreehours’timeyoumaypossiblyhavethehonortokisshisspurs。"
"But"，saidCacambo，"theCaptain，who，aswellasmyself，isperishingofhunger，isnoSpaniard，butaGerman;therefore，pray，mightwenotbepermittedtobreakourfasttillwecanbeintroducedtoHisReverence？"
ThesergeantimmediatelywentandacquaintedtheCommandantwithwhatheheard。
"Godbepraised"，saidtheReverendCommandant，"sinceheisaGermanI
willhearwhathehastosay;lethimbebroughttomyarbor。"
ImmediatelytheyconductedCandidetoabeautifulpavilionadomedwithacolonnadeofgreenmarble，spottedwithyellow，andwithanintertextureofvines，whichservedasakindofcageforparrots，hummingbirds，guineahens，andallothercuriouskindsofbirds。Anexcellentbreakfastwasprovidedinvesselsofgold;andwhiletheParaguayanswereeatingcoarseIndiancornoutofwoodendishesintheopenair，andexposedtotheburningheatofthesun，theReverendFatherCommandantretiredtohiscoolarbor。
Hewasaveryhandsomeyoungman，round-faced，fair，andfresh-colored，hiseyebrowswerefinelyarched，hehadapiercingeye，thetipsofhisearswerered，hislipsvermilion，andhehadaboldandcommandingair;butsuchaboldnessasneitherresembledthatofaSpaniardnorofaJesuit。HeorderedCandideandCacambotohavetheirarmsrestoredtothem，togetherwiththeirtwoAndalusianhorses。Cacambogavethepoorbeastssomeoatstoeatclosebythearbor，keepingastricteyeuponthemallthewhileforfearofsurprise。
CandidehavingkissedthehemoftheCommandant’srobe，theysatdowntotable。
"ItseemsyouareaGerman"，saidtheJesuittohiminthatlanguage。
"Yes，ReverendFather"，answeredCandide。
Astheypronouncedthesewordstheylookedateachotherwithgreatamazementandwithanemotionthatneithercouldconceal。
"FromwhatpartofGermanydoyoucome？"saidtheJesuit。
"FromthedirtyprovinceofWestphalia"，answeredCandide。
"IwasborninthecastleofThunder-ten-tronckh。"
"Ohheavens！isitpossible？"saidtheCommandant。
"Whatamiracle！"criedCandide。
"Canitbeyou？"saidtheCommandant。
Onthistheybothdrewafewstepsbackwards，thenrunningintoeachother’sarms，embraced，andweptprofusely。
"Isityouthen，ReverendFather？YouarethebrotherofthefairMissCunegonde？YouthatwasslainbytheBulgarians！YoutheBaron’sson！
YouaJesuitinParaguay！Imustconfessthisisastrangeworldwelivein。
OPangloss！whatjoywouldthishavegivenyouifyouhadnotbeenhanged。"
TheCommandantdismissedtheNegroslaves，andtheParaguayanswhopresentedthemwithliquorincrystalgoblets。HereturnedthankstoGodandSt。Ignatiusathousandtimes;heclaspedCandideinhisarms，andboththeirfaceswerebathedintears。
"Youwillbemoresurprised，moreaffected，moretransported"，saidCandide，"whenItellyouthatMissCunegonde，yoursister，whosebellywassupposedtohavebeenrippedopen，isinperfecthealth。"
"Inyourneighborhood，withtheGovernorofBuenosAyres;
andImyselfwasgoingtofightagainstyou。"
Everywordtheyutteredduringthislongconversationwasproductiveofsomenewmatterofastonishment。Theirsoulsflutteredontheirtongues，listenedintheirears，andsparkledintheireyes。LiketrueGermans，theycontinuedalongwhileattable，waitingfortheReverendFather;andtheCommandantspoketohisdearCandideasfollows。
chapter15CHAPTERXV
HOWCANDIDEKILLEDTHEBROTHEROFHISDEAR
CUNEGONDE
NeverwhileIliveshallIlosetheremembranceofthathorribledayonwhichIsawmyfatherandmotherbarbarouslybutcheredbeforemyeyes，andmysisterravished。WhentheBulgariansretiredwesearchedinvainformydearsister。Shewasnowheretobefound;butthebodiesofmyfather，mother，andmyself，withtwoservantmaidsandthreelittleboys，allofwhomhadbeenmurderedbytheremorselessenemy，werethrownintoacarttobeburiedinachapelbelongingtotheJesuits，withintwoleaguesofourfamilyseat。AJesuitsprinkleduswithsomeholywater，whichwasconfoundedsalty，andafewdropsofitwentintomyeyes;
thefatherperceivedthatmyeyelidsstirredalittle;heputhishanduponmybreastandfeltmyheartbeat;uponwhichhegavemeproperassistance，andattheendofthreeweeksIwasperfectlyrecovered。Youknow，mydearCandide，Iwasveryhandsome;Ibecamestillmoreso，andtheReverendFatherCroust，superiorofthathouse，tookagreatfancytome;hegavemethehabitoftheorder，andsomeyearsafterwardsIwassenttoRome。OurGeneralstoodinneedofnewrecruitsofyoungGermanJesuits。ThesovereignsofParaguayadmitofasfewSpanishJesuitsaspossible;theypreferthoseofothernations，asbeingmoreobedienttocommand。TheReverendFatherGenerallookeduponmeasaproperpersontoworkinthatvineyard。IsetoutincompanywithaPolanderandaTyrolese。
UponmyarrivalIwashonoredwithasubdeaconshipandalieutenancy。
NowIamcolonelandpriest。WeshallgiveawarmreceptiontotheKingofSpain’stroops;Icanassureyoutheywillbewellexcommunicatedandbeaten。
Providencehassentyouhithertoassistus。ButisittruethatmydearsisterCunegondeisintheneighborhoodwiththeGovernorofBuenosAyres？"
Candidesworethatnothingcouldbemoretrue;andthetearsbeganagaintotrickledowntheircheeks。TheBaronknewnoendofembracingCandide，becalledhimhisbrother，hisdeliverer。
"Perhaps"，saidhe，"mydearCandide，weshallbefortunateenoughtoenterthetown，swordinhand，andrecovermysisterCunegonde。"
"Ah！thatwouldcrownmywishes"，repliedCandide;"forIintendedtomarryher;andIhopeIshallstillbeabletoeffectit。"
"Insolentfellow！"criedtheBaron。"You！youhavetheimpudencetomarrymysister，whobearsseventy-twoquarterings！Really，Ithinkyouhaveaninsufferabledegreeofassurancetodaresomuchastomentionsuchanaudaciousdesigntome。"
Candide，thunderstruckattheoddnessofthisspeech，answered：
"ReverendFather，allthequarteringsintheworldareofnosignification。I
havedeliveredyoursisterfromaJewandanInquisitor;
sheisundermanyobligationstome，andsheisresolvedtogivemeherhand。Mymaster，Pangloss，alwaystoldmethatmankindarebynatureequal。
Therefore，youmaydependuponitthatIwillmarryyoursister。"
"Weshallseetothat，villain！"saidtheJesuit，BaronofThunder-ten-tronckh，andstruckhimacrossthefacewiththeflatsideofhissword。CandideinaninstantdrewhisrapierandplungedituptothehiltintheJesuit’sbody;butinpullingitoutreekinghot，heburstintotears。
"GoodGod！"criedhe，"Ihavekilledmyoldmaster，myfriend，mybrother-in-law。Iamthebestmanintheworld，andyetIhavealreadykilledthreemen，andofthesethree，twowerepriests。"
Cacambo，whowasstandingsentrynearthedoorofthearbor，instantlyranup。
"Nothingremains"，saidhismaster，"buttosellourlivesasdearlyaspossible;theywillundoubtedlylookintothearbor;wemustdieswordinhand。"
Cacambo，whohadseenmanyofthiskindofadventures，wasnotdiscouraged。HestrippedtheBaronofhisJesuit’shabitandputituponCandide，thengavehimthedeadman’sthree-corneredcapandmadehimmountonhorseback。Allthiswasdoneasquickasthought。
"Gallop，master"，criedCacambo;"everybodywilltakeyouforaJesuitgoingtogiveorders;andweshallhavepassedthefrontiersbeforetheywillbeabletoovertakeus。"
Heflewashespokethesewords，cryingoutaloudinSpanish，"Makeway;
makewayfortheReverendFatherColonel。"
chapter16CHAPTERXVI
WHATHAPPENEDTOOURTWOTRAVELERSWITH
TWOGIRLS，TWOMONKEYS，ANDTHESAVAGES，CALLEDOREILLONS
CandideandhisvalethadalreadypassedthefrontiersbeforeitwasknownthattheGermanJesuitwasdead。ThewaryCacambohadtakencaretofillhiswalletwithbread，chocolate，someham，somefruit，andafewbottlesofwine。TheypenetratedwiththeirAndalusianhorsesintoastrangecountry，wheretheycoulddiscovernobeatenpath。Atlengthabeautifulmeadow，intersectedwithpurlingrills，openedtotheirview。
Cacamboproposedtohismastertotakesomenourishment，andhesethimanexample。
"Howcanyoudesiremetofeastuponham，whenIhavekilledtheBaron’ssonandamdoomednevermoretoseethebeautifulCunegonde？
Whatwillitavailmetoprolongawretchedlifethatmustbespentfarfromherinremorseanddespair？AndthenwhatwillthejournalofTrevouxsay？"wasCandide’sreply。
Whilehewasmakingthesereflectionshestillcontinuedeating。Thesunwasnowonthepointofsettingwhentheearsofourtwowandererswereassailedwithcrieswhichseemedtobeutteredbyafemalevoice。Theycouldnottellwhetherthesewerecriesofgrieforofjoy;however，theyinstantlystartedup，fullofthatinquietudeandapprehensionwhichastrangeplacenaturallyinspires。Thecriesproceededfromtwoyoungwomenwhoweretrippingdisrobedalongthemead，whiletwomonkeysfollowedcloseattheirheelsbitingattheirlimbs。Candidewastouchedwithcompassion;hehadlearnedtoshootwhilehewasamongtheBulgarians，andhecouldhitafilbertinahedgewithouttouchingaleaf。Accordinglyhetookuphisdouble-barrelledSpanishgun，pulledthetrigger，andlaidthetwomonkeyslifelessontheground。
"Godbepraised，mydearCacambo，Ihaverescuedtwopoorgirlsfromamostperiloussituation;ifIhavecommittedasininkillinganInquisitorandaJesuit，Ihavemadeampleamendsbysavingthelivesofthesetwodistresseddamsels。Whoknowsbuttheymaybeyoungladiesofagoodfamily，andthattheassistanceIhavebeensohappytogivethemmayprocureusgreatadvantageinthiscountry？"
Hewasabouttocontinuewhenhefelthimselfstruckspeechlessatseeingthetwogirlsembracingthedeadbodiesofthemonkeysinthetenderestmanner，bathingtheirwoundswiththeirtears，andrendingtheairwiththemostdolefullamentations。
"Really"，saidhetoCacambo，"Ishouldnothaveexpectedtoseesuchaprodigiousshareofgoodnature。"
"Master"，repliedtheknowingvalet，"youhavemadeapreciouspieceofworkofit;doyouknowthatyouhavekilledtheloversofthesetwoladies？"
"Theirlovers！Cacambo，youarejesting！Itcannotbe！
Icanneverbelieveit。"
"Dearsir"，repliedCacambo，"youaresurprisedateverything。
Whyshouldyouthinkitsostrangethatthereshouldbeacountrywheremonkeysinsinuatethemselvesintothegoodgracesoftheladies？
TheyarethefourthpartofamanasIamthefourthpartofaSpaniard。"
"Alas！"repliedCandide，"IremembertohaveheardmymasterPanglosssaythatsuchaccidentsasthesefrequentlycametopassinformertimes，andthatthesecommixturesareproductiveofcentaurs，fauns，andsatyrs;
andthatmanyoftheancientshadseensuchmonsters;
butIlookeduponthewholeasfabulous。"
"Nowyouareconvinced"，saidCacambo，"thatitisverytrue，andyouseewhatuseismadeofthosecreaturesbypersonswhohavenothadapropereducation;allIamafraidofisthatthesesameladiesmayplayussomeuglytrick。"
ThesejudiciousreflectionsoperatedsofaronCandideastomakehimquitthemeadowandstrikeintoathicket。ThereheandCacambosupped，andafterheartilycursingtheGrandInquisitor，theGovernorofBuenosAyres，andtheBaron，theyfellasleepontheground。Whentheyawoketheyweresurprisedtofindthattheycouldnotmove;thereasonwasthattheOreillonswhoinhabitthatcountry，andtowhomtheladieshadgiveninformationofthesetwostrangers，hadboundthemwithcordsmadeofthebarkoftrees。
TheysawthemselvessurroundedbyfiftynakedOreillonsarmedwithbowsandarrows，clubs，andhatchetsofflint;someweremakingafireunderalargecauldron;andotherswerepreparingspits，cryingoutoneandall，"A
Jesuit！aJesuit！weshallberevenged;weshallhaveexcellentcheer;letuseatthisJesuit;letuseathimup。"
"Itoldyou，master"，criedCacambo，mournfully，"thatthesetwowencheswouldplayussomescurvytrick。"
Candide，seeingthecauldronandthespits，criedout，"Isupposetheyaregoingeithertoboilorroastus。Ah！whatwouldPanglosssayifheweretoseehowpurenatureisformed？Everythingisright;itmaybeso;butImustconfessitissomethinghardtobebereftofdearMissCunegonde，andtobespittedlikearabbitbythesebarbarousOreillons。"
Cacambo，whoneverlosthispresenceofmindindistress，saidtothedisconsolateCandide，"Donotdespair;Iunderstandalittleofthejargonofthesepeople;Iwillspeaktothem。"
"Ay，praydo"，saidCandide，"andbesureyoumakethemsensibleofthehorridbarbarityofboilingandroastinghumancreatures，andhowlittleofChristianitythereisinsuchpractices。"
"Gentlemen"，saidCacambo，"youthinkperhapsyouaregoingtofeastuponaJesuit;ifso，itismightywell;nothingcanbemoreagreeabletojusticethanthustotreatyourenemies。Indeedthelawofnatureteachesustokillourneighbor，andaccordinglywefindthispracticedallovertheworld;
andifwedonotindulgeourselvesineatinghumanflesh，itisbecausewehavemuchbetterfare;butforyourparts，whohavenotsuchresourcesaswe，itiscertainlymuchbetterjudgedtofeastuponyourenemiesthantothrowtheirbodiestothefowlsoftheair;andthusloseallthefruitsofyourvictory。
"Butsurely，gentlemen，youwouldnotchoosetoeatyourfriends。YouimagineyouaregoingtoroastaJesuit，whereasmymasterisyourfriend，yourdefender，andyouaregoingtospittheverymanwhohasbeendestroyingyourenemies;astomyself，Iamyourcountryman;
thisgentlemanismymaster，andsofarfrombeingaJesuit，givemeleavetotellyouhehasverylatelykilledoneofthatorder，whosespoilshenowwears，andwhichhaveprobablyoccasionedyourmistake。ToconvinceyouofthetruthofwhatIsay，takethehabithehasonandcarryittothefirstbarrieroftheJesuits’kingdom，andinquirewhethermymasterdidnotkilloneoftheirofficers。Therewillbelittleornotimelostbythis，andyoumaystillreserveourbodiesinyourpowertofeastonifyoushouldfindwhatwehavetoldyoutobefalse。But，onthecontrary，ifyoufindittobetrue，Iampersuadedyouaretoowellacquaintedwiththeprinciplesofthelawsofsociety，humanity，andjustice，nottouseuscourteously，andsufferustodepartunhurt。"
ThisspeechappearedveryreasonabletotheOreillons;
theydeputedtwooftheirpeoplewithallexpeditiontoinquireintothetruthofthisaffair，whoacquittedthemselvesoftheircommissionlikemenofsense，andsoonreturnedwithgoodtidingsforourdistressedadventurers。
Uponthistheywereloosed，andthosewhoweresolatelygoingtoroastandboilthemnowshowedthemallsortsofcivilities，offeredthemgirls，gavethemrefreshments，andreconductedthemtotheconfinesoftheircountry，cryingbeforethemalltheway，intokenofjoy，"HeisnoJesuit！
heisnoJesuit！"
Candidecouldnothelpadmiringthecauseofhisdeliverance。
"Whatmen！
whatmanners！"criedhe。"IfIhadnotfortunatelyrunmysworduptothehiltinthebodyofMissCunegonde’sbrother，Ishouldhavecertainlybeeneatenalive。But，afterall，purenatureisanexcellentthing;sincethesepeople，insteadofeatingme，showedmeathousandcivilitiesassoonastheyknewwasnotaJesuit。"
chapter17CHAPTERXVII
CANDIDEANDHISVALETARRIVEINTHECOUNTRYOF
ELDORADO。WHATTHEYSAWHERE
WhentothefrontiersoftheOreillons，saidCacambotoCandide，"Yousee，thishemisphereisnotbetterthantheother;nowtakemyadviceandletusreturntoEuropebytheshortestwaypossible。"
"Buthowcanwegetback？"saidCandide;"andwhithershallwego？Tomyowncountry？TheBulgariansandtheAbaresarelayingthatwastewithfireandsword。OrshallwegotoPortugal？ThereIshallbeburned;andifweabidehereweareeverymomentindangerofbeingspitted。
ButhowcanI
bringmyselftoquitthatpartoftheworldwheremydearMissCunegondehasherresidence？"
"LetusreturntowardsCayenne"，saidCacambo。"ThereweshallmeetwithsomeFrenchmen，foryouknowthosegentryrambleallovertheworld。
Perhapstheywillassistus，andGodwilllookwithpityonourdistress。"
ItwasnotsoeasytogettoCayenne。Theyknewprettynearlywhereaboutsitlay;butthemountains，rivers，precipices，robbers，savages，weredreadfulobstaclesintheway。Theirhorsesdiedwithfatigueandtheirprovisionswereatanend。Theysubsistedawholemonthonwildfruit，tillatlengththeycametoalittleriverborderedwithcocoatrees;thesightofwhichatoncerevivedtheirdroopingspiritsandfurnishednourishmentfortheirenfeebledbodies。
Cacambo，whowasalwaysgivingasgoodadviceastheoldwomanherself，saidtoCandide，"Youseethereisnoholdingoutanylonger;wehavetraveledenoughonfoot。Ispyanemptycanoeneartheriverside;letusfillitwithcocoanuts，getintoit，andgodownwiththestream;
ariveralwaysleadstosomeinhabitedplace。Ifwedonotmeetwithagreeablethings，weshallatleastmeetwithsomethingnew。"
"Agreed"，repliedCandide;"letusrecommendourselvestoProvidence。"
Theyrowedafewleaguesdowntheriver，thebanksofwhichwereinsomeplacescoveredwithflowers;inothersbarren;insomepartssmoothandlevel，andinotherssteepandrugged。Thestreamwidenedastheywentfurtheron，tillatlengthitpassedunderoneofthefrightfulrocks，whosesummitsseemedtoreachtheclouds。Hereourtwotravelershadthecouragetocommitthemselvestothestream，which，contractinginthispart，hurriedthemalongwithadreadfulnoiseandrapidity。
Attheendoffourandtwentyhourstheysawdaylightagain;
buttheircanoewasdashedtopiecesagainsttherocks。Theywereobligedtocreepalong，fromrocktorock，forthespaceofaleague，tillatlengthaspaciousplainpresenteditselftotheirsight。Thisplacewasboundedbyachainofinaccessiblemountains。Thecountryappearedcultivatedequallyforpleasureandtoproducethenecessariesoflife。Theusefulandagreeablewerehereequallyblended。Theroadswerecovered，orratheradorned，withcarriagesformedofglitteringmaterials，inwhichweremenandwomenofasurprisingbeauty，drawnwithgreatrapiditybyredsheepofaverylargesize;whichfarsurpassedthefinestcoursersofAndalusianTetuan，orMecquinez。
"Hereisacountry，however"，saidCandide，"preferabletoWestphalia。"
HeandCacambolandednearthefirstvillagetheysaw，attheentranceofwhichtheyperceivedsomechildrencoveredwithtatteredgarmentsoftherichestbrocade，playingatquoits。Ourtwoinhabitantsoftheotherhemisphereamusedthemselvesgreatlywithwhattheysaw。
Thequoitswerelarge，roundpieces，yellow，red，andgreen，whichcastamostgloriousluster。Ourtravelerspickedsomeofthemup，andtheyprovedtobegold，emeralds，rubies，anddiamonds;theleastofwhichwouldhavebeenthegreatestornamenttothesuperbthroneoftheGreatMogul。
"Withoutdoubt"，saidCacambo，"thosechildrenmustbetheKing’ssonsthatareplayingatquoits。"
Ashewasutteringthesewordstheschoolmasterofthevillageappeared，whocametocallthechildrentoschool。
"There"，saidCandide，"isthepreceptoroftheroyalfamily。"
Thelittleragamuffinsimmediatelyquittedtheirdiversion，leavingthequoitsonthegroundwithalltheirotherplaythings。Candidegatheredthemup，rantotheschoolmaster，and，withamostrespectfulbow，presentedthemtohim，givinghimtounderstandbysignsthattheirRoyalHighnesseshadforgottheirgoldandpreciousstones。Theschoolmaster，withasmile，flungthemupontheground，thenexaminingCandidefromheadtofootwithanairofadmiration，heturnedhisbackandwentonhisway。
Ourtravelerstookcare，however，togatherupthegold，therubies，andtheemeralds。
"Wherearewe？"criedCandide。"TheKing’schildreninthiscountrymusthaveanexcellenteducation，sincetheyaretaughttoshowsuchacontemptforgoldandpreciousstones。"
Cacambowasasmuchsurprisedashismaster。Theythendrewnearthefirsthouseinthevillage，whichwasbuiltafterthemannerofaEuropeanpalace。Therewasacrowdofpeopleaboutthedoor，andastillgreaternumberinthehouse。Thesoundofthemostdelightfulinstrumentsofmusicwasheard，andthemostagreeablesmellcamefromthekitchen。CacambowentuptothedoorandheardthosewithintalkinginthePeruvianlanguage，whichwashismothertongue;foreveryoneknowsthatCacambowasborninavillageofTucuman，wherenootherlanguageisspoken。
"Iwillbeyourinterpreterhere"，saidhetoCandide。
"Letusgoin;thisisaneatinghouse。"
Immediatelytwowaitersandtwoservant-girls，dressedinclothofgold，andtheirhairbraidedwithribbonsoftissue，accostedthestrangersandinvitedthemtositdowntotheordinary。Theirdinnerconsistedoffourdishesofdifferentsoups，eachgarnishedwithtwoyoungparoquets，alargedishofbouillethatweighedtwohundredweight，tworoastedmonkeysofadeliciousflavor，threehundredhummingbirdsinonedish，andsixhundredflybirdsinanother;someexcellentragouts，delicatetarts，andthewholeservedupindishesofrock-crystal。Severalsortsofliquors，extractedfromthesugarcane，werehandedaboutbytheservantswhoattended。
Mostofthecompanywerechapmenandwagoners，allextremelypolite;
theyaskedCacamboafewquestionswiththeutmostdiscretionandcircumspection;andrepliedtohisinamostobligingandsatisfactorymanner。
Assoonasdinnerwasover，bothCandideandCacambothoughttheyshouldpayveryhandsomelyfortheirentertainmentbylayingdowntwoofthoselargegoldpieceswhichtheyhadpickedofftheground;butthelandlordandlandladyburstintoafitoflaughingandheldtheirsidesforsometime。
Whenthefitwasover，thelandlordsaid，"Gentlemen，I
plainlyperceiveyouarestrangers，andsuchwearenotaccustomedtocharge;
pardonus，therefore，forlaughingwhenyouofferedusthecommonpebblesofourhighwaysforpaymentofyourreckoning。Tobesure，youhavenoneofthecoinofthiskingdom;butthereisnonecessityofhavinganymoneyatalltodineinthishouse。Alltheinns，whichareestablishedfortheconvenienceofthosewhocarryonthetradeofthisnation，aremaintainedbythegovernment。Youhavefoundbutveryindifferententertainmenthere，becausethisisonlyapoorvillage;butinalmosteveryotherofthesepublichousesyouwillmeetwithareceptionworthyofpersonsofyourmerit。"
CacamboexplainedthewholeofthisspeechofthelandlordtoCandide，wholistenedtoitwiththesameastonishmentwithwhichhisfriendcommunicatedit。
"Whatsortofacountryisthis"，saidtheonetotheother，"thatisunknowntoalltheworld;andinwhichNaturehaseverywheresodifferentanappearancetowhatshehasinours？Possiblythisisthatpartoftheglobewhereeverywhereisright，fortheremustcertainlybesomesuchplace。
And，forallthatMasterPanglosscouldsay，IoftenperceivedthatthingswentveryillinWestphalia。"
chapter18CHAPTERXVIII
WHATTHEYSAWINTHECOUNTRYOFELDORADO
Cacamboventedallhiscuriosityuponhislandlordbyathousanddifferentquestions;thehonestmanansweredhimthus，"Iamveryignorant，sir，butI
amcontentedwithmyignorance;however，wehaveinthisneighborhoodanoldmanretiredfromcourt，whoisthemostlearnedandcommunicativepersoninthewholekingdom。"
HethenconductedCacambototheoldman;Candideactednowonlyasecondcharacter，andattendedhisvalet。Theyenteredaveryplainhouse，forthedoorwasnothingbutsilver，andtheceilingwasonlyofbeatengold，butwroughtinsucheleganttasteastoviewiththerichest。
Theantechamber，indeed，wasonlyincrustedwithrubiesandemeralds;buttheorderinwhicheverythingwasdisposedmadeamendsforthisgreatsimplicity。
Theoldmanreceivedthestrangersonhissofa，whichwasstuffedwithhummingbirds’feathers;andorderedhisservantstopresentthemwithliquorsingoldengoblets，afterwhichhesatisfiedtheircuriosityinthefollowingterms。
"Iamnowonehundredandseventy-twoyearsold，andI
learnedofmylatefather，whowasequerrytotheKing，theamazingrevolutionsofPeru，towhichhehadbeenaneyewitness。ThiskingdomistheancientpatrimonyoftheIncas，whoveryimprudentlyquittedittoconqueranotherpartoftheworld，andwereatlengthconqueredanddestroyedthemselvesbytheSpaniards。
"Thoseprincesoftheirfamilywhoremainedintheirnativecountryactedmorewisely。Theyordained，withtheconsentoftheirwholenation，thatnoneoftheinhabitantsofourlittlekingdomshouldeverquitit;andtothiswiseordinanceweowethepreservationofourinnocenceandhappiness。
TheSpaniardshadsomeconfusednotionofthiscountry，towhichtheygavethenameofElDorado;andSirWalterRaleigh，anEnglishman，actuallycameverynearitaboutthreehundredyearsago;
buttheinaccessiblerocksandprecipiceswithwhichourcountryissurroundedonallsides，hashithertosecuredusfromtherapaciousfuryofthepeopleofEurope，whohaveanunaccountablefondnessforthepebblesanddirtofourland，forthesakeofwhichtheywouldmurderusalltotheverylastman。"
Theconversationlastedsometimeandturnedchieflyontheformofgovernment，theirmanners，theirwomen，theirpublicdiversions，andthearts。Atlength，Candide，whohadalwayshadatasteformetaphysics，askedwhetherthepeopleofthatcountryhadanyreligion。
Theoldmanreddenedalittleatthisquestion。
"Canyoudoubtit？"saidhe;"doyoutakeusforwretcheslosttoallsenseofgratitude？"
CacamboaskedinarespectfulmannerwhatwastheestablishedreligionofElDorado。Theoldmanblushedagainandsaid，"Cantherebetworeligions，then？Ours，Iapprehend，isthereligionofthewholeworld;weworshipGodfrommorningtillnight。"
"DoyouworshipbutoneGod？"saidCacambo，whostillactedastheinterpreterofCandide’sdoubts。
"Certainly"，saidtheoldman;"therearenottwo，northree，norfourGods。I
mustconfessthepeopleofyourworldaskveryextraordinaryquestions。"
However，Candidecouldnotrefrainfrommakingmanymoreinquiriesoftheoldman;hewantedtoknowinwhatmannertheyprayedtoGodinElDorado。
"WedonotpraytoHimatall"，saidthereverendsage;
"wehavenothingtoaskofHim，Hehasgivenusallwewant，andwegiveHimthanksincessantly。"
Candidehadacuriositytoseesomeoftheirpriests，anddesiredCacambotoasktheoldmanwheretheywere。Atwhichhesmilingsaid，"Myfriends，weareallofuspriests;theKingandalltheheadsoffamiliessingsolemnhymnsofthanksgivingeverymorning，accompaniedbyfiveorsixthousandmusicians。"
"What！"saidCacambo，"haveyounomonksamongyoutodispute，togovern，tointrigue，andtoburnpeoplewhoarenotofthesameopinionwiththemselves？"
"Doyoutakeusforfools？"saidtheoldman。"Hereweareallofoneopinion，andknownotwhatyoumeanbyyourmonks。"
DuringthewholeofthisdiscourseCandidewasinraptures，andhesaidtohimself，"WhataprodigiousdifferenceistherebetweenthisplaceandWestphalia;andthishouseandtheBaron’scastle。Ah，MasterPangloss！
hadyoueverseenElDorado，youwouldnolongerhavemaintainedthatthecastleofThunder-ten-tronckhwasthefinestofallpossibleedifices;thereisnothinglikeseeingtheworld，that’scertain。"
Thislongconversationbeingended，theoldmanorderedsixsheeptobeharnessedandputtothecoach，andsenttwelveofhisservantstoescortthetravelerstocourt。
"Excuseme"，saidhe，"fornotwaitingonyouinperson，myagedeprivesmeofthathonor。TheKingwillreceiveyouinsuchamannerthatyouwillhavenoreasontocomplain;anddoubtlessyouwillmakeaproperallowanceforthecustomsofthecountryiftheyshouldnothappenaltogethertopleaseyou。"
CandideandCacambogotintothecoach，thesixsheepflew，and，inlessthanaquarterofanhour，theyarrivedattheKing’spalace，whichwassituatedatthefurtherendofthecapital。Attheentrancewasaportaltwohundredandtwentyfeethighandonehundredwide;butitisimpossibleforwordstoexpressthematerialsofwhichitwasbuilt。
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