I。
Helpme，propitiousstars；amightyblazeBenumbsme！ImustsoundthepraiseOfhimhathturn'dthiscrabbedworkinsuchheroicphrase。
II。
WhatwitwouldnotcourtmartyrdomtoholdUponhisheadalaurelofgold，WhereforeachrichconceitaPumpion-pearlistold:
III。
Andsuchaoneisthis，art'smasterpiece，Athingne'erequall'dbyoldGreece:
Athingne'ermatch'dasyet，arealGoldenFleece。
IV。
Viceisasoldierfightsagainstmankind；
Whichyoumaylookbutneverfind:
For'tisanenviousthing，withcunninginterlined。
V。
Andthusherailsatdrinkingallbefore'em，Andforlewdwomendoesbe-whore'em，Andbringstheirpaintedfacesandblackpatchestoth'quorum。
VI。
TodrinkhewasafuriousenemyContentedwithasix-penny——
(withdiamondhatband，silverspurs，sixhorses。)pie——
VII。
Andfortobacco'spate-rotundingsmoke，Muchhadhesaid，andmuchmorespoke，But'twasnotthenfoundout，sothedesignwasbroke。
VIII。
Muse！Fancy！Faith！comenowarisealoud，Assembledinablue-vein'dcloud，Andthistallinfantinangelicarmsnowshroud。
IX。
TopraiseitfurtherIwouldnowbeginWere'tnowathoroughfareandinn，Itharboursvice，though'tbetocatchitinagin。
X。
Therefore，myMuse，drawupthyflowingsail，AndacclamateagentlehailWithallthyartandmetaphors，whichmustprevail。
JamprimaOceaniparsestpraeteritanostri。
Imparibusrestatdandasecundamodis。
QuamsipraestiteritmentemDaemonmalusaddam，CumsapienstotusprodieritRabelais。
Malevolus。
(Reader，theErrata，whichinthisbookarenotafew，arecasuallylost；
andthereforetheTranslator，nothavingleisuretocollectthemagain，cravesthypardonforsuchasthoumay'stmeetwith。)
TheAuthor'sProloguetotheFirstBook。
Mostnobleandillustriousdrinkers，andyouthricepreciouspockifiedblades(fortoyou，andnoneelse，doIdedicatemywritings)，Alcibiades，inthatdialogueofPlato's，whichisentitledTheBanquet，whilsthewassettingforththepraisesofhisschoolmasterSocrates(withoutallquestiontheprinceofphilosophers)，amongstotherdiscoursestothatpurpose，saidthatheresembledtheSilenes。Silenesofoldwerelittleboxes，likethosewenowmayseeintheshopsofapothecaries，paintedontheoutsidewithwantontoyishfigures，asharpies，satyrs，bridledgeese，hornedhares，saddledducks，flyinggoats，thillerharts，andothersuch-
likecounterfeitedpicturesatdiscretion，toexcitepeopleuntolaughter，asSilenushimself，whowasthefoster-fatherofgoodBacchus，waswonttodo；butwithinthosecapriciouscasketswerecarefullypreservedandkeptmanyrichjewelsandfinedrugs，suchasbalm，ambergris，amomon，musk，civet，withseveralkindsofpreciousstones，andotherthingsofgreatprice。JustsuchanotherthingwasSocrates。Fortohaveeyedhisoutside，andesteemedofhimbyhisexteriorappearance，youwouldnothavegiventhepeelofanonionforhim，sodeformedhewasinbody，andridiculousinhisgesture。Hehadasharppointednose，withthelookofabull，andcountenanceofafool:hewasinhiscarriagesimple，boorishinhisapparel，infortunepoor，unhappyinhiswives，unfitforallofficesinthecommonwealth，alwayslaughing，tippling，andmerrilycarousingtoeveryone，withcontinualgibesandjeers，thebetterbythosemeanstoconcealhisdivineknowledge。Now，openingthisboxyouwouldhavefoundwithinitaheavenlyandinestimabledrug，amorethanhumanunderstanding，anadmirablevirtue，matchlesslearning，invinciblecourage，unimitablesobriety，certaincontentmentofmind，perfectassurance，andanincrediblemisregardofallthatforwhichmencommonlydosomuchwatch，run，sail，fight，travel，toilandturmoilthemselves。
Whereunto(inyouropinion)doththislittleflourishofapreambletend？
Forsomuchasyou，mygooddisciples，andsomeotherjollyfoolsofeaseandleisure，readingthepleasanttitlesofsomebooksofourinvention，asGargantua，Pantagruel，Whippot(Fessepinte。)，theDignityofCodpieces，ofPeaseandBaconwithaCommentary，&c。，aretooreadytojudgethatthereisnothinginthembutjests，mockeries，lasciviousdiscourse，andrecreativelies；becausetheoutside(whichisthetitle)isusually，withoutanyfartherinquiry，entertainedwithscoffingandderision。Buttrulyitisveryunbeseemingtomakesoslightaccountoftheworksofmen，seeingyourselvesavouchthatitisnotthehabitmakesthemonk，manybeingmonasteriallyaccoutred，whoinwardlyarenothinglessthanmonachal，andthatthereareofthosethatwearSpanishcapes，whohavebutlittleofthevalourofSpaniardsinthem。Thereforeisit，thatyoumustopenthebook，andseriouslyconsiderofthemattertreatedinit。Thenshallyoufindthatitcontaineththingsoffarhighervaluethantheboxdidpromise；thatistosay，thatthesubjectthereofisnotsofoolishasbythetitleatthefirstsightitwouldappeartobe。
Andputthecase，thatintheliteralsenseyoumeetwithpurposesmerryandsolaciousenough，andconsequentlyverycorrespondenttotheirinscriptions，yetmustnotyoustopthereasatthemelodyofthecharmingsyrens，butendeavourtointerpretthatinasublimersensewhichpossiblyyouintendedtohavespokeninthejollityofyourheart。Didyoueverpickthelockofacupboardtostealabottleofwineoutofit？Tellmetruly，and，ifyoudid，calltomindthecountenancewhichthenyouhad。
Or，didyoueverseeadogwithamarrowboneinhismouth，——thebeastofallother，saysPlato，lib。2，deRepublica，themostphilosophical？Ifyouhaveseenhim，youmighthaveremarkedwithwhatdevotionandcircumspectnesshewardsandwatchethit:withwhatcarehekeepsit:howferventlyheholdsit:howprudentlyhegobbetsit:withwhataffectionhebreaksit:andwithwhatdiligencehesucksit。Towhatendallthis？
Whatmovethhimtotakeallthesepains？Whatarethehopesofhislabour？
Whatdothheexpecttoreapthereby？Nothingbutalittlemarrow。Trueitis，thatthislittleismoresavouryanddeliciousthanthegreatquantitiesofothersortsofmeat，becausethemarrow(asGalentestifieth，5。facult。nat。&11。deusupartium)isanourishmentmostperfectlyelabouredbynature。
Inimitationofthisdog，itbecomesyoutobewise，tosmell，feelandhaveinestimationthesefairgoodlybooks，stuffedwithhighconceptions，which，thoughseeminglyeasyinthepursuit，areinthecopeandencountersomewhatdifficult。Andthen，likehim，youmust，byasedulouslecture，andfrequentmeditation，breakthebone，andsuckoutthemarrow，——thatis，myallegoricalsense，orthethingsItomyselfproposetobesignifiedbythesePythagoricalsymbols，withassuredhope，thatinsodoingyouwillatlastattaintobebothwell-advisedandvaliantbythereadingofthem:
forintheperusalofthistreatiseyoushallfindanotherkindoftaste，andadoctrineofamoreprofoundandabstruseconsideration，whichwilldiscloseuntoyouthemostglorioussacramentsanddreadfulmysteries，aswellinwhatconcernethyourreligion，asmattersofthepublicstate，andlifeeconomical。
Doyoubelieve，uponyourconscience，thatHomer，whilsthewasa-couchinghisIliadsandOdysses，hadanythoughtuponthoseallegories，whichPlutarch，HeraclidesPonticus，Eustathius，Cornutussqueezedoutofhim，andwhichPolitianfilchedagainfromthem？Ifyoutrustit，withneitherhandnorfootdoyoucomeneartomyopinion，whichjudgeththemtohavebeenaslittledreamedofbyHomer，astheGospelsacramentswerebyOvidinhisMetamorphoses，thoughacertaingulligutfriar(FrereLubincroquelardon。)andtruebacon-pickerwouldhaveundertakentoproveit，ifperhapshehadmetwithasveryfoolsashimself，(andastheproverbsays)
alidworthyofsuchakettle。
Ifyougivenocreditthereto，whydonotyouthesameinthesejovialnewchroniclesofmine？AlbeitwhenIdiddictatethem，Ithoughtuponnomorethanyou，whopossiblyweredrinkingthewhilstasIwas。Forinthecomposingofthislordlybook，Ineverlostnorbestowedanymore，noranyothertimethanwhatwasappointedtoservemefortakingofmybodilyrefection，thatis，whilstIwaseatinganddrinking。Andindeedthatisthefittestandmostproperhourwhereintowritethesehighmattersanddeepsciences:asHomerknewverywell，theparagonofallphilologues，andEnnius，thefatheroftheLatinpoets，asHoracecallshim，althoughacertainsneakingjobernolallegedthathisversessmelledmoreofthewinethanoil。
Sosaithaturlupinoranewstart-upgrubofmybooks，butaturdforhim。
Thefragrantodourofthewine，Ohowmuchmoredainty，pleasant，laughing(Riant，priant，friant。)，celestialanddeliciousitis，thanthatsmellofoil！AndIwillgloryasmuchwhenitissaidofme，thatIhavespentmoreonwinethanoil，asdidDemosthenes，whenitwastoldhim，thathisexpenseonoilwasgreaterthanonwine。ItrulyholditforanhonourandpraisetobecalledandreputedaFrolicGualterandaRobinGoodfellow；
forunderthisnameamIwelcomeinallchoicecompaniesofPantagruelists。
ItwasupbraidedtoDemosthenesbyanenvioussurlyknave，thathisOrationsdidsmelllikethesarplerorwrapperofafoulandfilthyoil-
vessel。Forthiscauseinterpretyouallmydeedsandsayingsintheperfectestsense；reverencethecheese-likebrainthatfeedsyouwiththesefairbillevezeesandtriflingjollities，anddowhatliesinyoutokeepmealwaysmerry。Befrolicnow，mylads，cheerupyourhearts，andjoyfullyreadtherest，withalltheeaseofyourbodyandprofitofyourreins。
Buthearken，joltheads，youviedazes，ordickenstakeye，remembertodrinkahealthtomeforthelikefavouragain，andIwillpledgeyouinstantly，Toutares-metys。
RabelaistotheReader。
Goodfriends，myReaders，whoperusethisBook，Benotoffended，whilstonityoulook:
Denudeyourselvesofalldepravedaffection，Foritcontainsnobadness，norinfection:
'TistruethatitbringsforthtoyounobirthOfanyvalue，butinpointofmirth；
ThinkingthereforehowsorrowmightyourmindConsume，Icouldnoaptersubjectfind；
Oneinchofjoysurmountsofgriefaspan；
Becausetolaughispropertotheman。
Chapter1。I。
OftheGenealogyandAntiquityofGargantua。
ImustreferyoutothegreatchronicleofPantagruelfortheknowledgeofthatgenealogyandantiquityofracebywhichGargantuaiscomeuntous。
Inityoumayunderstandmoreatlargehowthegiantswereborninthisworld，andhowfromthembyadirectlineissuedGargantua，thefatherofPantagruel:anddonottakeitill，ifforthistimeIpassbyit，althoughthesubjectbesuch，thattheofteneritwereremembered，themoreitwouldpleaseyourworshipfulSeniorias；accordingtowhichyouhavetheauthorityofPlatoinPhileboandGorgias；andofFlaccus，whosaysthattherearesomekindsofpurposes(suchasthesearewithoutdoubt)，which，thefrequentliertheyberepeated，stillprovethemoredelectable。
WouldtoGodeveryonehadascertainknowledgeofhisgenealogysincethetimeofthearkofNoahuntilthisage。Ithinkmanyareatthisdayemperors，kings，dukes，princes，andpopesontheearth，whoseextractionisfromsomeportersandpardon-pedlars；as，onthecontrary，manyarenowpoorwanderingbeggars，wretchedandmiserable，whoaredescendedofthebloodandlineageofgreatkingsandemperors，occasioned，asIconceiveit，bythetransportandrevolutionofkingdomsandempires，fromtheAssyrianstotheMedes，fromtheMedestothePersians，fromthePersianstotheMacedonians，fromtheMacedonianstotheRomans，fromtheRomanstotheGreeks，fromtheGreekstotheFrench。
Andtogiveyousomehintconcerningmyself，whospeaksuntoyou，IcannotthinkbutIamcomeoftheraceofsomerichkingorprinceinformertimes；forneveryetsawyouanymanthathadagreaterdesiretobeaking，andtoberich，thanIhave，andthatonlythatImaymakegoodcheer，donothing，norcareforanything，andplentifullyenrichmyfriends，andallhonestandlearnedmen。ButhereindoIcomfortmyself，thatintheotherworldIshallbeso，yeaandgreatertoothanatthispresentIdarewish。Asforyou，withthesameorabetterconceitconsolateyourselvesinyourdistresses，anddrinkfreshifyoucancomebyit。
Toreturntoourwethers，Isaythatbythesovereigngiftofheaven，theantiquityandgenealogyofGargantuahathbeenreservedforourusemorefullandperfectthananyotherexceptthatoftheMessias，whereofImeannottospeak；foritbelongsnotuntomypurpose，andthedevils，thatistosay，thefalseaccusersanddissembledgospellers，willthereinopposeme。ThisgenealogywasfoundbyJohnAndrewinameadow，whichhehadnearthepole-arch，undertheolive-tree，asyougotoNarsay:where，ashewasmakingcastupsomeditches，thediggerswiththeirmattocksstruckagainstagreatbrazentomb，andunmeasurablylong，fortheycouldneverfindtheendthereof，byreasonthatitenteredtoofarwithinthesluicesofVienne。Openingthistombinacertainplacethereof，sealedonthetopwiththemarkofagoblet，aboutwhichwaswritteninEtrurianlettersHicBibitur，theyfoundnineflagonssetinsuchorderastheyusetoranktheirkylesinGascony，ofwhichthatwhichwasplacedinthemiddlehadunderitabig，fat，great，grey，pretty，small，mouldy，littlepamphlet，smellingstronger，butnobetterthanroses。Inthatbookthesaidgenealogywasfoundwrittenallatlength，inachanceryhand，notinpaper，notinparchment，norinwax，butinthebarkofanelm-tree，yetsowornwiththelongtractoftime，thathardlycouldthreeletterstogetherbethereperfectlydiscerned。
I(thoughunworthy)wassentforthither，andwithmuchhelpofthosespectacles，wherebytheartofreadingdimwritings，andlettersthatdonotclearlyappeartothesight，ispractised，asAristotleteachethit，didtranslatethebookasyoumayseeinyourPantagruelizing，thatistosay，indrinkingstifflytoyourownheart'sdesire，andreadingthedreadfulandhorrificactsofPantagruel。AttheendofthebooktherewasalittletreatiseentitledtheAntidotedFanfreluches，oraGalimatiaofextravagantconceits。Theratsandmoths，or(thatImaynotlie)otherwickedbeasts，hadnibbledoffthebeginning:therestIhaveheretosubjoined，forthereverenceIbeartoantiquity。
Chapter1。II。
TheAntidotedFanfreluches:or，aGalimatiaofextravagantConceitsfoundinanancientMonument。
NosoonerdidtheCymbrians'overcomerPassthroughtheairtoshunthedewofsummer，Butathiscomingstraightgreattubswerefill'd，Withpurefreshbutterdowninshowersdistill'd:
Wherewithwhenwater'dwashisgrandam，Hey，Aloudhecried，Fishit，sir，Iprayy'；
Becausehisbeardisalmostallberay'd；
Or，thathewouldholdto'mascale，hepray'd。
Tolickhisslipper，sometoldwasmuchbetter，Thantogainpardons，andthemeritgreater。
Inth'interimacraftychuffapproaches，Fromthedepthissued，wheretheyfishforroaches；
Whosaid，Goodsirs，someofthemletussave，Theeelishere，andinthishollowcaveYou'llfind，ifthatourlooksonitdemur，Agreatwasteinthebottomofhisfur。
Toreadthischapterwhenhedidbegin，Nothingbutacalf'shornswerefoundtherein；
Ifeel，quothhe，themitrewhichdothholdMyheadsochill，itmakesmybrainstakecold。
Beingwiththeperfumeofaturnipwarm'd，Tostaybychimneyhearthshimselfhearm'd，Providedthatanewthill-horsetheymadeOfeverypersonofahair-brain'dhead。
TheytalkedofthebungholeofSaintKnowles，OfGilbatharandthousandotherholes，Iftheymightbereducedt'ascarrystuff，Suchasmightnotbesubjecttothecough:
Sinceev'rymanunseemlydiditfind，Toseethemgapingthusatev'rywind:
For，ifperhapstheyhandsomelywereclosed，Forpledgestheytomenmightbeexposed。
InthisarrestbyHerculestheravenWasflayedather(his)returnfromLybiahaven。
WhyamnotI，saidMinos，thereinvited？
Unlessitbemyself，notone'somitted:
Andthenitistheirmind，IdonomoreOffrogsandoysterssendthemanystore:
Incasetheysparemylifeandprovebutcivil，Igivetheirsaleofdistaffstothedevil。
ToquellhimcomesQ。B。，wholimpingfretsAtthesafepassoftricksycrackarets:
Theboulter，thegrandCyclops'cousin，thoseDidmassacre，whilsteachonewipedhisnose:
Fewinglesinthisfallowgroundarebred，Butonatanner'smillarewinnowed。
Runthitherallofyou，th'alarmssoundclear，Youshallhavemorethanyouhadthelastyear。
ShortwhilethereafterwasthebirdofJoveResolvedtospeak，thoughdismalitshouldprove；
Yetwasafraid，whenhesawtheminire，Theyshouldo'erthrowquiteflatdowndeadth'empire。
Heratherchoosedthefirefromheaventosteal，Toboatswherewereredherringsputtosale；
Thantobecalm'gainstthose，whostrivetobraveus，AndtotheMassorets'fondwordsenslaveus。
Allthisatlastconcludedgallantly，InspiteofAteandherhern-likethigh，Who，sitting，sawPenthesileata'en，Inheroldage，foracress-sellingquean。
Eachonecriedout，Thoufilthycolliertoad，Dothitbecometheetobefoundabroad？
ThouhasttheRomanstandardfilch'daway，Whichtheyinragsofparchmentdiddisplay。
Junowasborn，who，undertherainbow，Wasa-bird-catchingwithherduckbelow:
WhenherwithsuchagrievoustricktheypliedThatshehadalmostbeenbethwackedbyit。
Thebargainwas，that，ofthatthroatful，sheShouldofProserpinahavetwoeggsfree；
Andifthatshethereaftershouldbefound，Shetoahawthornhillshouldbefastbound。
Sevenmonthsthereafter，lackingtwenty-two，He，thatofolddidCarthagetownundo，Didbravelymidstthemallhimselfadvance，Requiringofthemhisinheritance；
Althoughtheyjustlymadeupthedivision，Accordingtotheshoe-welt-law'sdecision，BydistributingstoreofbrewsandbeefTothesepoorfellowsthatdidpenthebrief。
Butth'yearwillcome，signofaTurkishbow，Fivespindlesyarn'd，andthreepot-bottomstoo，WhereinofadiscourteouskingthedockShallpepper'dbeunderanhermit'sfrock。
Ah！thatforoneshehypocriteyoumustPermitsomanyacrestobelost！
Cease，cease，thisvizardmaybecomeanother，Withdrawyourselvesuntotheserpent'sbrother。
'Tisintimespast，thathewhoisshallreignWithhisgoodfriendsinpeacenowandagain。
Norashnorheadyprinceshallthenrulecrave，Eachgoodwillitsarbitrementshallhave；
Andthejoy，promisedofoldasdoomTotheheaven'sguests，shallinitsbeaconcome。
Thenshallthebreedingmares，thatbenumb'dwere，Likeroyalpalfreysridetriumphantthere。
Andthiscontinueshallfromtimetotime，TillMarsbefetter'dforanunknowncrime；
Thenshallonecome，whootherswillsurpass，Delightful，pleasing，matchless，fullofgrace。
Cheerupyourhearts，approachtothisrepast，Alltrustyfriendsofmine；forhe'sdeceased，Whowouldnotforaworldreturnagain，Sohighlyshalltimepastbecriedupthen。
HewhowasmadeofwaxshalllodgeeachmemberClosebythehingesofablockoftimber。
WethennomoreshallMaster，master，whoot，Theswagger，whoth'alarumbellholdsout；
Couldoneseizeonthedaggerwhichhebears，Headswouldbefreefromtinglingintheears，Tobafflethewholestorehouseofabuses。
ThethusfarewellApolloandtheMuses。
Chapter1。III。
HowGargantuawascarriedelevenmonthsinhismother'sbelly。
Grangousierwasagoodfellowinhistime，andnotablejester；helovedtodrinkneat，asmuchasanymanthatthenwasintheworld，andwouldwillinglyeatsaltmeat。Tothisintenthewasordinarilywellfurnishedwithgammonsofbacon，bothofWestphalia，MayenceandBayonne，withstoreofdriedneat'stongues，plentyoflinks，chitterlingsandpuddingsintheirseason；togetherwithsaltbeefandmustard，agooddealofhardroesofpowderedmulletcalledbotargos，greatprovisionofsausages，notofBolonia(forhefearedtheLombardBoccone)，butofBigorre，Longaulnay，Brene，andRouargue。InthevigourofhisagehemarriedGargamelle，daughtertotheKingoftheParpaillons，ajollypug，andwell-mouthedwench。Thesetwodidoftentimesdothetwo-backedbeasttogether，joyfullyrubbingandfrottingtheirbacon'gainstoneanother，insofar，thatatlastshebecamegreatwithchildofafairson，andwentwithhimuntotheeleventhmonth；forsolong，yealonger，mayawomancarryhergreatbelly，especiallywhenitissomemasterpieceofnature，andapersonpredestinatedtotheperformance，inhisduetime，ofgreatexploits。AsHomersays，thatthechild，whichNeptunebegotuponthenymph，wasbornawholeyearaftertheconception，thatis，inthetwelfthmonth。For，asAulusGelliussaith，lib。3，thislongtimewassuitabletothemajestyofNeptune，thatinitthechildmightreceivehisperfectform。ForthelikereasonJupitermadethenight，whereinhelaywithAlcmena，lastforty-
eighthours，ashortertimenotbeingsufficientfortheforgingofHercules，whocleansedtheworldofthemonstersandtyrantswherewithitwassuppressed。Mymasters，theancientPantagruelists，haveconfirmedthatwhichIsay，andwithaldeclaredittobenotonlypossible，butalsomaintainedthelawfulbirthandlegitimationoftheinfantbornofawomanintheeleventhmonthafterthedeceaseofherhusband。Hypocrates，lib。
dealimento。Plinius，lib。7，cap。5。Plautus，inhisCistelleria。
MarcusVarro，inhissatireinscribedTheTestament，allegingtothispurposetheauthorityofAristotle。Censorinus，lib。dedienatali。
Arist。lib。7，cap。3&4，denaturaanimalium。Gellius，lib。3，cap。16。
Servius，inhisexpositionuponthisverseofVirgil'seclogues，Matrilongadecem，&c。，andathousandotherfools，whosenumberhathbeenincreasedbythelawyersff。desuis，etlegitl。intestato。paragrapho。
fin。andinAuth。derestitut。eteaquaeparitinximense。MoreoveruponthesegroundstheyhavefoistedintheirRobidilardic，orLapiturolivelaw。
Gallusff。delib。etposth。l。sept。ff。destat。hom。，andsomeotherlaws，whichatthistimeIdarenotname。Bymeanswhereofthehonestwidowsmaywithoutdangerplayattheclosebuttockgamewithmightandmain，andashardastheycan，forthespaceofthefirsttwomonthsafterthedeceaseoftheirhusbands。Iprayyou，mygoodlustyspringallads，ifyoufindanyofthesefemales，thatareworththepainsofuntyingthecodpiece-point，getup，rideuponthem，andbringthemtome；for，iftheyhappenwithinthethirdmonthtoconceive，thechildshouldbeheirtothedeceased，if，beforehedied，hehadnootherchildren，andthemothershallpassforanhonestwoman。
Whensheisknowntohaveconceived，thrustforwardboldly，sparehernot，whateverbetideyou，seeingthepaunchisfull。AsJulia，thedaughteroftheEmperorOctavian，neverprostitutedherselftoherbelly-bumpers，butwhenshefoundherselfwithchild，afterthemannerofships，thatreceivenottheirsteersmantilltheyhavetheirballastandlading。Andifanyblamethemforthistheirrataconniculation，andreiteratedlecheryupontheirpregnancyandbig-belliedness，seeingbeasts，inthelikeexigentoftheirfulness，willneversufferthemale-masculanttoencroachthem，theiranswerwillbe，thatthosearebeasts，buttheyarewomen，verywellskilledintheprettyvalesandsmallfeesofthepleasanttradeandmysteriesofsuperfetation:asPopuliaheretoforeanswered，accordingtotherelationofMacrobius，lib。2。Saturnal。Ifthedevilwillnothavethemtobag，hemustwringhardthespigot，andstopthebung-hole。
Chapter1。IV。
HowGargamelle，beinggreatwithGargantua，dideatahugedealoftripes。
TheoccasionandmannerhowGargamellewasbroughttobed，anddeliveredofherchild，wasthus:and，ifyoudonotbelieveit，Iwishyourbum-gutfalloutandmakeanescapade。Herbum-gut，indeed，orfundamentescapedherinanafternoon，onthethirddayofFebruary，withhavingeatenatdinnertoomanygodebillios。Godebilliosarethefattripesofcoiros。
Coirosarebeevesfattenedatthecratchinox-stalls，orinthefreshguimomeadows。Guimomeadowsarethosethatfortheirfruitfulnessmaybemowedtwiceayear。Ofthosefatbeevestheyhadkilledthreehundredsixty-seventhousandandfourteen，tobesaltedatShrovetide，thatintheenteringofthespringtheymighthaveplentyofpowderedbeef，wherewithtoseasontheirmouthsatthebeginningoftheirmeals，andtotastetheirwinethebetter。
Theyhadabundanceoftripes，asyouhaveheard，andtheyweresodelicious，thateveryonelickedhisfingers。Butthemischiefwasthis，that，forallmencoulddo，therewasnopossibilitytokeepthemlonginthatrelish；forinaveryshortwhiletheywouldhavestunk，whichhadbeenanundecentthing。Itwasthereforeconcluded，thattheyshouldbeallofthemgulchedup，withoutlosinganything。TothiseffecttheyinvitedalltheburghersofSainais，ofSuille，oftheRoche-Clermaud，ofVaugaudry，withoutomittingtheCoudray，Monpensier，theGuedeVede，andothertheirneighbours，allstiffdrinkers，bravefellows，andgoodplayersatthekyles。ThegoodmanGrangousiertookgreatpleasureintheircompany，andcommandedthereshouldbenowantnorpinchingforanything。
Neverthelesshebadehiswifeeatsparingly，becauseshewasnearhertime，andthatthesetripeswerenoverycommendablemeat。Theywouldfain，saidhe，beatthechewingofordure，thatwouldeatthecasewhereinitwas。
Notwithstandingtheseadmonitions，shedideatsixteenquarters，twobushels，threepecksandapipkinfull。Othefairfecalitywherewithsheswelled，bytheingrediencyofsuchshittenstuff！
Afterdinnertheyallwentoutinahurltothegroveofthewillows，where，onthegreengrass，tothesoundofthemerryflutesandpleasantbagpipes，theydancedsogallantly，thatitwasasweetandheavenlysporttoseethemsofrolic。
Chapter1。V。
TheDiscourseoftheDrinkers。
Thendidtheyfalluponthechatofvictualsandsomebellyfurnituretobesnatchedatintheverysameplace。Whichpurposewasnosoonermentioned，butforthwithbeganflagonstogo，gammonstotrot，gobletstofly，greatbowlstoting，glassestoring。Draw，reach，fill，mix，giveitmewithoutwater。So，myfriend，so，whipmeoffthisglassneatly，bringmehithersomeclaret，afullweepingglasstillitrunover。Acessationandtrucewiththirst。Ha，thoufalsefever，wiltthounotbegone？Bymyfiggins，godmother，Icannotasyetenterinthehumourofbeingmerry，nordrinksocurrentlyasIwould。Youhavecatchedacold，gammer？Yea，forsooth，sir。BythebellyofSanctBuff，letustalkofourdrink:Ineverdrinkbutatmyhours，likethePope'smule。AndIneverdrinkbutinmybreviary，likeafairfatherguardian。Whichwasfirst，thirstordrinking？Thirst，forwhointhetimeofinnocencewouldhavedrunkwithoutbeingathirst？Nay，sir，itwasdrinking；forprivatiopraesupponithabitum。Iamlearned，yousee:Foecundicalicesquemnonfeceredisertum？Wepoorinnocentsdrinkbuttoomuchwithoutthirst。NotItruly，whoamasinner，forIneverdrinkwithoutthirst，eitherpresentorfuture。Topreventit，asyouknow，Idrinkforthethirsttocome。I
drinketernally。Thisistomeaneternityofdrinking，anddrinkingofeternity。Letussing，letusdrink，andtuneupourroundelays。Whereismyfunnel？What，itseemsIdonotdrinkbutbyanattorney？Doyouwetyourselvestodry，ordoyoudrytowetyou？Pish，Iunderstandnottherhetoric(theoric，Ishouldsay)，butIhelpmyselfsomewhatbythepractice。Baste！enough！Isup，Iwet，Ihumect，Imoistenmygullet，I
drink，andallforfearofdying。Drinkalwaysandyoushallneverdie。
IfIdrinknot，Iama-ground，dry，gravelledandspent。Iamstarkdeadwithoutdrink，andmysoulreadytoflyintosomemarshamongstfrogs；thesoulneverdwellsinadryplace，drouthkillsit。Oyoubutlers，creatorsofnewforms，makemeofnodrinkeradrinker，aperennityandeverlastingnessofsprinklingandbedewingmethroughthesemyparchedandsinewybowels。Hedrinksinvainthatfeelsnotthepleasureofit。Thisenterethintomyveins，——thepissingtoolsandurinalvesselsshallhavenothingofit。IwouldwillinglywashthetripesofthecalfwhichI
apparelledthismorning。Ihaveprettywellnowballastedmystomachandstuffedmypaunch。IfthepapersofmybondsandbillscoulddrinkaswellasIdo，mycreditorswouldnotwantforwinewhentheycometoseeme，orwhentheyaretomakeanyformalexhibitionoftheirrightstowhatofmetheycandemand。Thishandofyoursspoilsyournose。Ohowmanyothersuchwillenterherebeforethisgoout！What，drinksoshallow？Itisenoughtobreakbothgirdsandpetrel。Thisiscalledacupofdissimulation，orflagonalhypocrisy。
Whatdifferenceistherebetweenabottleandaflagon。Greatdifference；
forthebottleisstoppedandshutupwithastopple，buttheflagonwithavice(Labouteilleestfermeeabouchon，etleflacconavis。)。Bravelyandwellplayeduponthewords！Ourfathersdranklustily，andemptiedtheircans。Wellcacked，wellsung！Come，letusdrink:willyousendnothingtotheriver？Hereisonegoingtowashthetripes。Idrinknomorethanasponge。IdrinklikeaTemplarknight。AndI，tanquamsponsus。AndI，sicutterrasineaqua。Givemeasynonymonforagammonofbacon。Itisthecompulsoryofdrinkers:itisapulley。Byapulley-
ropewineisletdownintoacellar，andbyagammonintothestomach。
Hey！now，boys，hither，somedrink，somedrink。Thereisnotroubleinit。
Respicepersonam，poneproduos，busnonestinusu。IfIcouldgetupaswellasIcanswallowdown，Ihadbeenlongerenowveryhighintheair。
ThusbecameTomTosspotrich，——thuswentinthetailor'sstitch。ThusdidBacchusconquerth'Inde——thusPhilosophy，Melinde。Alittlerainallaysagreatdealofwind:longtipplingbreaksthethunder。Butiftherecamesuchliquorfrommyballock，wouldyounotwillinglythereaftersucktheudderwhenceitissued？Here，page，fill！Iprithee，forgetmenotwhenitcomestomyturn，andIwillentertheelectionIhavemadeoftheeintotheveryregisterofmyheart。Sup，Guillot，andsparenot，thereissomewhatinthepot。Iappealfromthirst，anddisclaimitsjurisdiction。
Page，sueoutmyappealinform。Thisremnantinthebottomoftheglassmustfollowitsleader。Iwaswontheretoforetodrinkoutall，butnowI
leavenothing。Letusnotmaketoomuchhaste；itisrequisitewecarryallalongwithus。Heyday，herearetripesfitforoursport，and，inearnest，excellentgodebilliosofthedunox(youknow)withtheblackstreak。O，forGod'ssake，letuslashthemsoundly，yetthriftily。
Drink，orIwill，——No，no，drink，Ibeseechyou(Oujevous，jevousprie。)。Sparrowswillnoteatunlessyoubobthemonthetail，norcanI
drinkifIbenotfairlyspoketo。TheconcavitiesofmybodyarelikeanotherHellfortheircapacity。Lagonaedatera(Greeklateriscavitas:
Greekorcus:andGreekalter。)。Thereisnotacorner，norconey-burrowinallmybody，wherethiswinedothnotferretoutmythirst。Ho，thiswillbangitsoundly。Butthisshallbanishitutterly。Letuswindourhornsbythesoundofflagonsandbottles，andcryaloud，thatwhoeverhathlosthisthirstcomenothithertoseekit。Longclystersofdrinkingaretobevoidedwithoutdoors。ThegreatGodmadetheplanets，andwemaketheplattersneat。Ihavethewordofthegospelinmymouth，Sitio。Thestonecalledasbestosisnotmoreunquenchablethanthethirstofmypaternity。Appetitecomeswitheating，saysAngeston，butthethirstgoesawaywithdrinking。Ihavearemedyagainstthirst，quitecontrarytothatwhichisgoodagainstthebitingofamaddog。Keeprunningafteradog，andhewillneverbiteyou；drinkalwaysbeforethethirst，anditwillnevercomeuponyou。ThereIcatchyou，Iawakeyou。Argushadahundredeyesforhissight，abutlershouldhave(likeBriareus)ahundredhandswherewithtofilluswineindefatigably。Heynow，lads，letusmoistenourselves，itwillbetimetodryhereafter。Whitewinehere，wine，boys！
PouroutallinthenameofLucifer，fillhere，you，fillandfill(peascodsonyou)tillitbefull。Mytonguepeels。Lanstrinque；tothee，countryman，Idrinktothee，goodfellow，comradetothee，lusty，lively！Ha，la，la，thatwasdrunktosomepurpose，andbravelygulpedover。OlachrymaChristi，itisofthebestgrape！I'faith，pureGreek，Greek！Othefinewhitewine！uponmyconscience，itisakindoftaffetaswine，——hin，hin，itisofoneear，wellwrought，andofgoodwool。
Courage，comrade，upthyheart，billy！Wewillnotbebeastedatthisbout，forIhavegotonetrick。Exhocinhoc。Thereisnoenchantmentnorcharmthere，everyoneofyouhathseenit。My'prenticeshipisout，I
amafreemanatthistrade。Iamprestermast(Prestremace，maistrepasse。)，Prish，Brum！Ishouldsay，masterpast。Othedrinkers，thosethatarea-dry，Opoorthirstysouls！Goodpage，myfriend，fillmeheresome，andcrownthewine，Ipraythee。Likeacardinal！Naturaabhorretvacuum。Wouldyousaythataflycoulddrinkinthis？ThisisafterthefashionofSwitzerland。Clearoff，neat，supernaculum！Come，therefore，blades，tothisdivineliquorandcelestialjuice，swillitoverheartily，andsparenot！Itisadecoctionofnectarandambrosia。
Chapter1。VI。
HowGargantuawasborninastrangemanner。
Whilsttheywereonthisdiscourseandpleasanttattleofdrinking，Gargamellebegantobealittleunwellinherlowerparts；whereuponGrangousierarosefromoffthegrass，andfelltocomfortherveryhonestlyandkindly，suspectingthatshewasintravail，andtoldherthatitwasbestforhertositdownuponthegrassunderthewillows，becauseshewaslikeveryshortlytoseeyoungfeet，andthatthereforeitwasconvenientsheshouldpluckupherspirits，andtakeagoodheartofnewatthefresharrivalofherbaby；sayingtoherwithal，thatalthoughthepainwassomewhatgrievoustoher，itwouldbebutofshortcontinuance，andthatthesucceedingjoywouldquicklyremovethatsorrow，insuchsortthatsheshouldnotsomuchasrememberit。On，withasheep'scourage！quothhe。
Despatchthisboy，andwewillspeedilyfalltoworkforthemakingofanother。Ha！saidshe，sowellasyouspeakatyourownease，youthataremen！Well，then，inthenameofGod，I'lldomybest，seeingthatyouwillhaveitso，butwouldtoGodthatitwerecutofffromyou！What？saidGrangousier。Ha，saidshe，youareagoodmanindeed，youunderstanditwellenough。What，mymember？saidhe。Bythegoat'sblood，ifitpleaseyou，thatshallbedoneinstantly；causebringhitheraknife。Alas，saidshe，theLordforbid，andprayJesustoforgiveme！Ididnotsayitfrommyheart，thereforeletitalone，anddonotdoitneithermorenorlessanykindofharmformyspeakingsotoyou。ButIamliketohaveworkenoughtodoto-dayandallforyourmember，yetGodblessyouandit。
Courage，courage，saidhe，takeyounocareofthematter，letthefourforemostoxendothework。Iwillyetgodrinkonewhiffmore，andifinthemeantimeanythingbefallyouthatmayrequiremypresence，Iwillbesoneartoyou，that，atthefirstwhistlinginyourfist，Ishallbewithyouforthwith。Alittlewhileaftershebegantogroan，lamentandcry。
Thensuddenlycamethemidwivesfromallquarters，whogropingherbelow，foundsomepeloderies，whichwasacertainfilthystuff，andofatastetrulybadenough。Thistheythoughthadbeenthechild，butitwasherfundament，thatwasslippedoutwiththemollificationofherstraightentrail，whichyoucallthebum-gut，andthatmerelybyeatingoftoomanytripes，aswehaveshowedyoubefore。Whereuponanolduglytrotinthecompany，whohadthereputeofanexpertshe-physician，andwascomefromBrisepaille，neartoSaintGenou，threescoreyearsbefore，madehersohorriblearestrictiveandbindingmedicine，andwherebyallherlarris，arse-pipes，andconduitsweresooppilated，stopped，obstructed，andcontracted，thatyoucouldhardlyhaveopenedandenlargedthemwithyourteeth，whichisaterriblethingtothinkupon；seeingtheDevilatthemassatSaintMartin'swaspuzzledwiththeliketask，whenwithhisteethhehadlengthenedouttheparchmentwhereonhewrotethetittle-tattleoftwoyoungmangywhores。Bythisinconvenientthecotyledonsofhermatrixwerepresentlyloosed，throughwhichthechildsprangupandleaped，andso，enteringintothehollowvein，didclimbbythediaphragmevenabovehershoulders，wheretheveindividesitselfintotwo，andfromthencetakinghiswaytowardstheleftside，issuedforthatherleftear。Assoonashewasborn，hecriednotasotherbabesusetodo，Miez，miez，miez，miez，butwithahigh，sturdy，andbigvoiceshoutedabout，Somedrink，somedrink，somedrink，asinvitingalltheworldtodrinkwithhim。
Thenoisehereofwassoextremelygreat，thatitwasheardinboththecountriesatonceofBeauceandBibarois。Idoubtme，thatyoudonotthoroughlybelievethetruthofthisstrangenativity。Thoughyoubelieveitnot，Icarenotmuch:butanhonestman，andofgoodjudgment，believethstillwhatistoldhim，andthatwhichhefindswritten。
Isthisbeyondourlaworourfaith——againstreasonortheholyScripture？
Formypart，IfindnothinginthesacredBiblethatisagainstit。Buttellme，ifithadbeenthewillofGod，wouldyousaythathecouldnotdoit？Ha，forfavoursake，Ibeseechyou，neveremberlucockorinpulregafizeyourspiritswiththesevainthoughtsandidleconceits；forItellyou，itisnotimpossiblewithGod，and，ifhepleased，allwomenhenceforthshouldbringforththeirchildrenattheear。WasnotBacchusengenderedoutoftheverythighofJupiter？DidnotRoquetailladecomeoutathismother'sheel，andCrocmoushfromtheslipperofhisnurse？WasnotMinervabornofthebrain，eventhroughtheearofJove？Adonis，ofthebarkofamyrrhtree；andCastorandPolluxofthedoupeofthateggwhichwaslaidandhatchedbyLeda？Butyouwouldwondermore，andwithfargreateramazement，ifIshouldnowpresentyouwiththatchapterofPlinius，whereinhetreatethofstrangebirths，andcontrarytonature，andyetamnotIsoimpudentaliarashewas。ReadtheseventhbookofhisNaturalHistory，chap。3，andtroublenotmyheadanymoreaboutthis。
Chapter1。VII。
AfterwhatmannerGargantuahadhisnamegivenhim，andhowhetippled，bibbed，andcurriedthecan。
ThegoodmanGrangousier，drinkingandmakingmerrywiththerest，heardthehorriblenoisewhichhissonhadmadeasheenteredintothelightofthisworld，whenhecriedout，Somedrink，somedrink，somedrink；
whereuponhesaidinFrench，Quegrandtuasetsouplelegousier！thatistosay，Howgreatandnimbleathroatthouhast。Whichthecompanyhearing，saidthatverilythechildoughttobecalledGargantua；becauseitwasthefirstwordthatafterhisbirthhisfatherhadspoke，inimitation，andattheexampleoftheancientHebrews；whereuntohecondescended，andhismotherwasverywellpleasedtherewith。Inthemeanwhile，toquietthechild，theygavehimtodrinkatirelaregot，thatis，tillhisthroatwasliketocrackwithit；thenwashecarriedtothefont，andtherebaptized，accordingtothemannerofgoodChristians。
Immediatelythereafterwereappointedforhimseventeenthousand，ninehundred，andthirteencowsofthetownsofPautilleandBrehemond，tofurnishhimwithmilkinordinary，foritwasimpossibletofindanursesufficientforhiminallthecountry，consideringthegreatquantityofmilkthatwasrequisiteforhisnourishment；althoughtherewerenotwantingsomedoctorsoftheopinionofScotus，whoaffirmedthathisownmothergavehimsuck，andthatshecoulddrawoutofherbreastsonethousand，fourhundred，twopipes，andninepailsofmilkateverytime。
Whichindeedisnotprobable，andthispointhathbeenfoundduggishlyscandalousandoffensivetotenderears，forthatitsavouredalittleofheresy。Thuswashehandledforoneyearandtenmonths；afterwhichtime，bytheadviceofphysicians，theybegantocarryhim，andthenwasmadeforhimafinelittlecartdrawnwithoxen，oftheinventionofJanDenio，whereintheyledhimhitherandthitherwithgreatjoy；andhewasworththeseeing，forhewasafineboy，hadaburlyphysiognomy，andalmosttenchins。Hecriedverylittle，butbeshithimselfeveryhour:for，tospeaktrulyofhim，hewaswonderfullyphlegmaticinhisposteriors，bothbyreasonofhisnaturalcomplexionandtheaccidentaldispositionwhichhadbefallenhimbyhistoomuchquaffingoftheSeptembraljuice。Yetwithoutacausedidnothesuponedrop；forifhehappenedtobevexed，angry，displeased，orsorry，ifhedidfret，ifhedidweep，ifhedidcry，andwhatgrievousquartersoeverhekept，inbringinghimsomedrink，hewouldbeinstantlypacified，reseatedinhisowntemper，inagoodhumouragain，andasstillandquietasever。Oneofhisgovernessestoldme(swearingbyherfig)，howhewassoaccustomedtothiskindofway，that，atthesoundofpintsandflagons，hewouldonasuddenfallintoanecstasy，asifhehadthentastedofthejoysofparadise；sothatthey，uponconsiderationofthis，hisdivinecomplexion，wouldeverymorning，tocheerhimup，playwithaknifeupontheglasses，onthebottleswiththeirstopples，andonthepottle-potswiththeirlidsandcovers，atthesoundwhereofhebecamegay，didleapforjoy，wouldlollandrockhimselfinthecradle，thennodwithhishead，monochordizingwithhisfingers，andbarytonizingwithhistail。
Chapter1。VIII。
HowtheyapparelledGargantua。
Beingofthisage，hisfatherordainedtohaveclothesmadetohiminhisownlivery，whichwaswhiteandblue。Toworkthenwentthetailors，andwithgreatexpeditionwerethoseclothesmade，cut，andsewed，accordingtothefashionthatwastheninrequest。Ifindbytheancientrecordsorpancarts，tobeseeninthechamberofaccounts，orcourtoftheexchequeratMontsoreau，thathewasaccoutredinmannerasfolloweth。TomakehimeveryshirtofhisweretakenupninehundredellsofChasteleraudlinen，andtwohundredforthegussets，inmannerofcushions，whichtheyputunderhisarmpits。Hisshirtwasnotgatherednorplaited，fortheplaitingofshirtswasnotfoundouttilltheseamstresses(whenthepointoftheirneedle(Besongnerducul，EnglishedTheeyeoftheneedle。)wasbroken)begantoworkandoccupywiththetail。Thereweretakenupforhisdoublet，eighthundredandthirteenellsofwhitesatin，andforhispointsfifteenhundredandninedogs'skinsandahalf。Thenwasitthatmenbegantotietheirbreechestotheirdoublets，andnottheirdoubletstotheirbreeches:foritisagainstnature，ashathmostamplybeenshowedbyOckhamupontheexponiblesofMasterHaultechaussade。
Forhisbreechesweretakenupelevenhundredandfiveellsandathirdofwhitebroadcloth。Theywerecutintheformofpillars，chamfered，channelledandpinkedbehindthattheymightnotover-heathisreins:andwere，withinthepanes，puffedoutwiththeliningofasmuchbluedamaskaswasneedful:andremark，thathehadverygoodleg-harness，proportionabletotherestofhisstature。
Forhiscodpiecewereusedsixteenellsandaquarterofthesamecloth，anditwasfashionedonthetoplikeuntoatriumphantarch，mostgallantlyfastenedwithtwoenamelledclasps，ineachofwhichwassetagreatemerald，asbigasanorange；for，assaysOrpheus，lib。delapidibus，andPlinius，libroultimo，ithathanerectivevirtueandcomfortativeofthenaturalmember。Theexiture，outjectingoroutstanding，ofhiscodpiecewasofthelengthofayard，jaggedandpinked，andwithalbagging，andstruttingoutwiththebluedamasklining，afterthemannerofhisbreeches。Buthadyouseenthefairembroideryofthesmallneedleworkpurl，andthecuriouslyinterlacedknots，bythegoldsmith'sartsetoutandtrimmedwithrichdiamonds，preciousrubies，fineturquoises，costlyemeralds，andPersianpearls，youwouldhavecomparedittoafaircornucopia，orhornofabundance，suchasyouseeinantiques，orasRheagavetothetwonymphs，AmaltheaandIda，thenursesofJupiter。
And，liketothathornofabundance，itwasstillgallant，succulent，droppy，sappy，pithy，lively，alwaysflourishing，alwaysfructifying，fullofjuice，fullofflower，fulloffruit，andallmannerofdelight。IavowGod，itwouldhavedoneonegoodtohaveseenhim，butIwilltellyoumoreofhiminthebookwhichIhavemadeofthedignityofcodpieces。OnethingIwilltellyou，thatasitwasbothlongandlarge，sowasitwellfurnishedandvictualledwithin，nothinglikeuntothehypocriticalcodpiecesofsomefondwooersandwench-courtiers，whicharestuffedonlywithwind，tothegreatprejudiceofthefemalesex。
Forhisshoesweretakenupfourhundredandsixellsofbluecrimson-
velvet，andwereverynearlycutbyparallellines，joinedinuniformcylinders。Forthesolingofthemweremadeuseofelevenhundredhidesofbrowncows，shapenlikethetailofakeeling。
Forhiscoatweretakenupeighteenhundredellsofbluevelvet，dyedingrain，embroideredinitsborderswithfairgilliflowers，inthemiddledeckedwithsilverpurl，intermixedwithplatesofgoldandstoreofpearls，herebyshowingthatinhistimehewouldproveanespecialgoodfellowandsingularwhipcan。
Hisgirdlewasmadeofthreehundredellsandahalfofsilkenserge，halfwhiteandhalfblue，ifImistakeitnot。HisswordwasnotofValentia，norhisdaggerofSaragossa，forhisfathercouldnotendurethesehidalgosborrachosmaranisadoscomodiablos:buthehadafairswordmadeofwood，andthedaggerofboiledleather，aswellpaintedandgildedasanymancouldwish。
Hispursewasmadeofthecodofanelephant，whichwasgivenhimbyHerrPracontal，proconsulofLybia。
Forhisgownwereemployedninethousandsixhundredells，wantingtwo-
thirds，ofbluevelvet，asbefore，allsodiagonallypurled，thatbytrueperspectiveissuedthenceanunnamedcolour，likethatyouseeinthenecksofturtle-dovesorturkey-cocks，whichwonderfullyrejoicedtheeyesofthebeholders。Forhisbonnetorcapweretakenupthreehundred，twoellsandaquarterofwhitevelvet，andtheformthereofwaswideandround，ofthebignessofhishead；forhisfathersaidthatthecapsoftheMarrabaisefashion，madelikethecoverofapasty，wouldonetimeorotherbringamischiefonthosethatworethem。Forhisplume，heworeafairgreatbluefeather，pluckedfromanonocrotalofthecountryofHircaniathewild，veryprettilyhangingdownoverhisrightear。Forthejewelorbroochwhichinhiscaphecarried，hehadinacakeofgold，weighingthreescoreandeightmarks，afairpieceenamelled，whereinwasportrayedaman'sbodywithtwoheads，lookingtowardsoneanother，fourarms，fourfeet，twoarses，suchasPlato，inSymposio，sayswasthemysticalbeginningofman'snature；andaboutitwaswritteninIonicletters，Greek，orrather，Greek，thatis，Viretmulierjunctimpropriissimehomo。Towearabouthisneck，hehadagoldenchain，weighingtwenty-fivethousandandsixty-threemarksofgold，thelinksthereofbeingmadeafterthemannerofgreatberries，amongstwhichweresetinworkgreenjaspersengravenandcutdragon-like，allenvironedwithbeamsandsparks，askingNicepsosofoldwaswonttowearthem:anditreacheddowntotheverybustoftherisingofhisbelly，wherebyhereapedgreatbenefitallhislifelong，astheGreekphysiciansknowwellenough。Forhisgloveswereputinworksixteenotters'skins，andthreeoftheloupgarous，ormen-eatingwolves，fortheborderingofthem:andofthisstuffweretheymade，bytheappointmentoftheCabalistsofSanlouand。Asfortheringswhichhisfatherwouldhavehimtowear，torenewtheancientmarkofnobility，hehadontheforefingerofhislefthandacarbuncleasbigasanostrich'segg，enchasedverydaintilyingoldofthefinenessofaTurkeyseraph。Uponthemiddlefingerofthesamehandhehadaringmadeoffourmetalstogether，ofthestrangestfashionthateverwasseen；sothatthesteeldidnotcrashagainstthegold，northesilvercrushthecopper。AllthiswasmadebyCaptainChappuys，andAlcofribashisgoodagent。Onthemedicalfingerofhisrighthandhehadaringmadespire-wise，whereinwassetaperfectBalasruby，apointeddiamond，andaPhysonemerald，ofaninestimablevalue。ForHansCarvel，thekingofMelinda'sjeweller，esteemedthemattherateofthreescoreninemillions，eighthundredninety-fourthousand，andeighteenFrenchcrownsofBerry，andatsomuchdidtheFoucresofAugsburgprizethem。
Chapter1。IX。
ThecoloursandliveriesofGargantua。
Gargantua'scolourswerewhiteandblue，asIhaveshowedyoubefore，bywhichhisfatherwouldgiveustounderstandthathissontohimwasaheavenlyjoy；forthewhitedidsignifygladness，pleasure，delight，andrejoicing，andtheblue，celestialthings。Iknowwellenoughthat，inreadingthis，youlaughattheolddrinker，andholdthisexpositionofcolourstobeveryextravagant，andutterlydisagreeabletoreason，becausewhiteissaidtosignifyfaith，andblueconstancy。Butwithoutmoving，vexing，heating，orputtingyouinachafe(fortheweatherisdangerous)，answerme，ifitpleaseyou；fornoothercompulsorywayofarguingwillI
usetowardsyou，oranyelse；onlynowandthenIwillmentionawordortwoofmybottle。Whatisitthatinducethyou，whatstirsyouuptobelieve，orwhotoldyouthatwhitesignifiethfaith，andblueconstancy？
Anoldpaltrybook，sayyou，soldbythehawkingpedlarsandballadmongers，entitledTheBlasonofColours。Whomadeit？Whoeveritwas，hewaswiseinthathedidnotsethisnametoit。But，besides，IknownotwhatI
shouldratheradmireinhim，hispresumptionorhissottishness。Hispresumptionandoverweening，forthatheshouldwithoutreason，withoutcause，orwithoutanyappearanceoftruth，havedaredtoprescribe，byhisprivateauthority，whatthingsshouldbedenotatedandsignifiedbythecolour:whichisthecustomoftyrants，whowillhavetheirwilltobearswayinsteadofequity，andnotofthewiseandlearned，whowiththeevidenceofreasonsatisfytheirreaders。Hissottishnessandwantofspirit，inthathethoughtthat，withoutanyotherdemonstrationorsufficientargument，theworldwouldbepleasedtomakehisblockishandridiculousimpositionstheruleoftheirdevices。Ineffect，accordingtotheproverb，Toashittentailfailsneverordure，hehathfound，itseems，somesimpleninnyinthoserudetimesofold，whenthewearingofhighroundbonnetswasinfashion，whogavesometrusttohiswritings，accordingtowhichtheycarvedandengravedtheirapophthegmsandmottoes，trappedandcaparisonedtheirmulesandsumpter-horses，apparelledtheirpages，quarteredtheirbreeches，borderedtheirgloves，fringedthecurtainsandvalancesoftheirbeds，paintedtheirensigns，composedsongs，and，whichisworse，placedmanydeceitfuljugglingsandunworthybasetricksundiscoveredlyamongsttheverychastestmatronsandmostreverendsciences。Inthelikedarknessandmistofignorancearewrappedupthesevain-gloriouscourtiersandname-transposers，who，goingaboutintheirimpresastosignifyesperance(thatis，hope)，haveportrayedasphere——andbirds'pennesforpains——l'ancholie(whichistheflowercolombine)formelancholy——awaningmoonorcrescent，toshowtheincreasingorrisingofone'sfortune——abenchrottenandbroken，tosignifybankrupt——nonandacorsletfornondurhabit(otherwisenondurabit，itshallnotlast)，unlitsansciel，thatis，abedwithoutatester，forunlicencie，agraduatedperson，asbachelorindivinityorutterbarrister-at-law；whichareequivocalssoabsurdandwitless，sobarbarousandclownish，thatafox'stailshouldbefastenedtotheneck-pieceof，andavizardmadeofacowsherdgiventoeveryonethathenceforthshouldoffer，aftertherestitutionoflearning，tomakeuseofanysuchfopperiesinFrance。
Bythesamereasons(ifreasonsIshouldcallthem，andnotravingsrather，andidletriflingsaboutwords)，mightIcausepaintapannier，tosignifythatIaminpain——amustard-pot，thatmyhearttarriesmuchfor't——onepissingupwardsforabishop——thebottomofapairofbreechesforavesselfulloffart-hings——acodpiecefortheofficeoftheclerksofthesentences，decrees，orjudgments，orrather，astheEnglishbearsit，forthetailofacodfish——andadog'sturdforthedaintyturretwhereinliestheloveofmysweetheart。FarotherwisedidheretoforethesagesofEgypt，whentheywrotebyletters，whichtheycalledhieroglyphics，whichnoneunderstoodwhowerenotskilledinthevirtue，property，andnatureofthethingsrepresentedbythem。OfwhichOrusApollonhathinGreekcomposedtwobooks，andPolyphilus，inhisDreamofLove，setdownmore。
InFranceyouhaveatasteoftheminthedeviceorimpresaofmyLordAdmiral，whichwascarriedbeforethattimebyOctavianAugustus。Butmylittleskiffalongsttheseunpleasantgulfsandshoalswillsailnofurther，thereforemustIreturntotheportfromwhenceIcame。YetdoI
hopeonedaytowritemoreatlargeofthesethings，andtoshowbothbyphilosophicalargumentsandauthorities，receivedandapprovedofbyandfromallantiquity，what，andhowmanycoloursthereareinnature，andwhatmaybesignifiedbyeveryoneofthem，ifGodsavethemouldofmycap，whichismybestwine-pot，asmygrandamsaid。
Chapter1。X。
Ofthatwhichissignifiedbythecolourswhiteandblue。
Thewhitethereforesignifiethjoy，solace，andgladness，andthatnotatrandom，butuponjustandverygoodgrounds:whichyoumayperceivetobetrue，iflayingasideallprejudicateaffections，youwillbutgiveeartowhatpresentlyIshallexpounduntoyou。
Aristotlesaiththat，supposingtwothingscontraryintheirkind，asgoodandevil，virtueandvice，heatandcold，whiteandblack，pleasureandpain，joyandgrief，——andsoofothers，——ifyoucoupletheminsuchmannerthatthecontraryofonekindmayagreeinreasonwiththecontraryoftheother，itmustfollowbyconsequencethattheothercontrarymustanswertotheremanentoppositetothatwherewithitisconferred。As，forexample，virtueandvicearecontraryinonekind，soaregoodandevil。Ifoneofthecontrariesofthefirstkindbeconsonanttooneofthoseofthesecond，asvirtueandgoodness，foritisclearthatvirtueisgood，soshalltheothertwocontraries，whichareevilandvice，havethesameconnection，forviceisevil。
Thislogicalrulebeingunderstood，takethesetwocontraries，joyandsadness；thentheseothertwo，whiteandblack，fortheyarephysicallycontrary。Ifsobe，then，thatblackdosignifygrief，bygoodreasonthenshouldwhiteimportjoy。Noristhissignificationinstitutedbyhumanimposition，butbytheuniversalconsentoftheworldreceived，whichphilosopherscallJusGentium，theLawofNations，oranuncontrollablerightofforceinallcountrieswhatsoever。Foryouknowwellenoughthatallpeople，andalllanguagesandnations，excepttheancientSyracusansandcertainArgives，whohadcrossandthwartingsouls，whentheymeanoutwardlytogiveevidenceoftheirsorrow，goinblack；andallmourningisdonewithblack。Whichgeneralconsentisnotwithoutsomeargumentandreasoninnature，thewhicheverymanmaybyhimselfverysuddenlycomprehend，withouttheinstructionofany——andthiswecallthelawofnature。Byvirtueofthesamenaturalinstinctweknowthatbywhitealltheworldhathunderstoodjoy，gladness，mirth，pleasure，anddelight。InformertimestheThraciansandCretansdidmarktheirgood，propitious，andfortunatedayswithwhitestones，andtheirsad，dismal，andunfortunateoneswithblack。Isnotthenightmournful，sad，andmelancholic？Itisblackanddarkbytheprivationoflight。Dothnotthelightcomfortalltheworld？Anditismorewhitethananythingelse。Whichtoprove，I
coulddirectyoutothebookofLaurentiusVallaagainstBartolus；butanevangelicaltestimonyIhopewillcontentyou。Matth。17itissaidthat，atthetransfigurationofourLord，Vestimentaejusfactasuntalbasicutlux，hisapparelwasmadewhitelikethelight。Bywhichlightsomewhitenesshegavehisthreeapostlestounderstandtheideaandfigureoftheeternaljoys；forbythelightareallmencomforted，accordingtothewordoftheoldwoman，who，althoughshehadneveratoothinherhead，waswonttosay，Bonalux。AndTobit，chap。5，afterhehadlosthissight，whenRaphaelsalutedhim，answered，WhatjoycanIhave，thatdonotseethelightofHeaven？InthatcolourdidtheangelstestifythejoyofthewholeworldattheresurrectionofourSaviour，John20，andathisascension，Acts1。WiththelikecolourofvesturedidSt。JohntheEvangelist，Apoc。4。7，seethefaithfulclothedintheheavenlyandblessedJerusalem。
Readtheancient，bothGreekandLatinhistories，andyoushallfindthatthetownofAlba(thefirstpatternofRome)wasfoundedandsonamedbyreasonofawhitesowthatwasseenthere。Youshalllikewisefindinthosestories，thatwhenanyman，afterhehadvanquishedhisenemies，wasbydecreeofthesenatetoenterintoRometriumphantly，heusuallyrodeinachariotdrawnbywhitehorses:whichintheovationtriumphwasalsothecustom；forbynosignorcolourwouldtheysosignificantlyexpressthejoyoftheircomingasbythewhite。Youshalltherealsofind，howPericles，thegeneraloftheAthenians，wouldneedshavethatpartofhisarmyuntowhoselotbefellthewhitebeans，tospendthewholedayinmirth，pleasure，andease，whilsttherestwerea-fighting。AthousandotherexamplesandplacescouldIallegetothispurpose，butthatitisnotherewhereIshoulddoit。
Byunderstandinghereof，youmayresolveoneproblem，whichAlexanderAphrodiseushathaccountedunanswerable:whythelion，whowithhisonlycryandroaringaffrightsallbeasts，dreadsandfearethonlyawhitecock？
For，asProclussaith，LibrodeSacrificioetMagia，itisbecausethepresenceofthevirtueofthesun，whichistheorganandpromptuaryofallterrestrialandsidereallight，dothmoresymbolizeandagreewithawhitecock，aswellinregardofthatcolour，asofhispropertyandspecificalquality，thanwithalion。Hesaith，furthermore，thatdevilshavebeenoftenseenintheshapeoflions，whichatthesightofawhitecockhavepresentlyvanished。ThisisthecausewhyGalliorGallices(soaretheFrenchmencalled，becausetheyarenaturallywhiteasmilk，whichtheGreekscallGala，)dowillinglywearintheircapswhitefeathers，forbynaturetheyareofacandiddisposition，merry，kind，gracious，andwell-
beloved，andfortheircognizanceandarmshavethewhitestflowerofany，theFlowerdeluceorLily。
Ifyoudemandhow，bywhite，naturewouldhaveusunderstandjoyandgladness，Ianswer，thattheanalogyanduniformityisthus。For，asthewhitedothoutwardlydisperseandscattertheraysofthesight，wherebytheopticspiritsaremanifestlydissolved，accordingtotheopinionofAristotleinhisproblemsandperspectivetreatises；asyoumaylikewiseperceivebyexperience，whenyoupassovermountainscoveredwithsnow，howyouwillcomplainthatyoucannotseewell；asXenophonwritestohavehappenedtohismen，andasGalenverylargelydeclareth，lib。10，deusupartium:justsotheheartwithexcessivejoyisinwardlydilated，andsufferethamanifestresolutionofthevitalspirits，whichmaygosofaronthatitmaytherebybedeprivedofitsnourishment，andbyconsequenceoflifeitself，bythispericharyorextremityofgladness，asGalensaith，lib。12，method，lib。5，delocisaffectis，andlib。2，desymptomatumcausis。Andasithathcometopassinformertimes，witnessMarcusTullius，lib。1，Quaest。Tuscul。，Verrius，Aristotle，TitusLivius，inhisrelationofthebattleofCannae，Plinius，lib。7，cap。32and34，A。
Gellius，lib。3，c。15，andmanyotherwriters，——toDiagorastheRhodian，Chilon，Sophocles，DionysiusthetyrantofSicily，Philippides，Philemon，Polycrates，Philistion，M。Juventi，andotherswhodiedwithjoy。AndasAvicenspeaketh，in2canonetlib。devirib。cordis，ofthesaffron，thatitdothsorejoicetheheartthat，ifyoutakeofitexcessively，itwillbyasuperfluousresolutionanddilationdepriveitaltogetheroflife。
HereperuseAlex。Aphrodiseus，lib。1，Probl。，cap。19，andthatforacause。Butwhat？ItseemsIamenteredfurtherintothispointthanI
intendedatthefirst。Here，therefore，willIstrikesail，referringtheresttothatbookofminewhichhandleththismattertothefull。
Meanwhile，inawordIwilltellyou，thatbluedothcertainlysignifyheavenandheavenlythings，bythesameverytokensandsymbolsthatwhitesignifiethjoyandpleasure。
Chapter1。XI。
OftheyouthfulageofGargantua。
Gargantua，fromthreeyearsupwardsuntofive，wasbroughtupandinstructedinallconvenientdisciplinebythecommandmentofhisfather；
andspentthattimeliketheotherlittlechildrenofthecountry，thatis，indrinking，eating，andsleeping:ineating，sleeping，anddrinking:andinsleeping，drinking，andeating。Stillhewallowedandrolledupanddownhimselfinthemireanddirt——heblurredandsulliedhisnosewithfilth——heblottedandsmutchedhisfacewithanykindofscurvystuff——hetroddownhisshoesintheheel——attheflieshedidoftentimesyawn，andranveryheartilyafterthebutterflies，theempirewhereofbelongedtohisfather。Hepissedinhisshoes，shitinhisshirt，andwipedhisnoseonhissleeve——hedidlethissnotandsnivelfallinhispottage，anddabbled，paddled，andslobberedeverywhere——hewoulddrinkinhisslipper，andordinarilyrubhisbellyagainstapannier。Hesharpenedhisteethwithatop，washedhishandswithhisbroth，andcombedhisheadwithabowl。Hewouldsitdownbetwixttwostools，andhisarsetotheground——
wouldcoverhimselfwithawetsack，anddrinkineatingofhissoup。Hedideathiscakesometimeswithoutbread，wouldbiteinlaughing，andlaughinbiting。Oftentimesdidhespitinthebasin，andfartforfatness，pissagainstthesun，andhidehimselfinthewaterforfearofrain。Hewouldstrikeoutofthecoldiron，beofteninthedumps，andfrigandwriggleit。Hewouldflaythefox，saytheape'spaternoster，returntohissheep，andturnthehogstothehay。Hewouldbeatthedogsbeforethelion，puttheploughbeforetheoxen，andclawwhereitdidnotitch。Hewouldpumponetodrawsomewhatoutofhim，bygripingallwouldholdfastnothing，andalwayseathiswhitebreadfirst。Heshoedthegeese，keptaself-
ticklingtomakehimselflaugh，andwasverysteadableinthekitchen:
madeamockatthegods，wouldcausesingMagnificatatmatins，andfounditveryconvenientsotodo。Hewouldeatcabbage，andshitebeets，——knewfliesinadishofmilk，andwouldmakethemlosetheirfeet。Hewouldscrapepaper，blurparchment，thenrunawayashardashecould。Hewouldpullatthekid'sleather，orvomituphisdinner，thenreckonwithouthishost。Hewouldbeatthebusheswithoutcatchingthebirds，thoughtthemoonwasmadeofgreencheese，andthatbladdersarelanterns。Outofonesackhewouldtaketwomoulturesorfeesforgrinding；wouldacttheass'sparttogetsomebran，andofhisfistwouldmakeamallet。Hetookthecranesatthefirstleap，andwouldhavethemail-coatstobemadelinkafterlink。Healwayslookedagivenhorseinthemouth，leapedfromthecocktotheass，andputoneripebetweentwogreen。ByrobbingPeterhepaidPaul，hekeptthemoonfromthewolves，andhopedtocatchlarksifevertheheavensshouldfall。Hedidmakeofnecessityvirtue，ofsuchbreadsuchpottage，andcaredaslittleforthepeeledasfortheshaven。
Everymorninghedidcastuphisgorge，andhisfather'slittledogseatoutofthedishwithhim，andhewiththem。Hewouldbitetheirears，andtheywouldscratchhisnose——hewouldblowintheirarses，andtheywouldlickhischaps。
Buthearken，goodfellows，thespigotillbetakeyou，andwhirlroundyourbrains，ifyoudonotgiveear！Thislittlelecherwasalwaysgropinghisnursesandgovernesses，upsidedown，arsiversy，topsyturvy，harribourriquet，withaYaccohaick，hyckgio！handlingthemveryrudelyinjumblingandtumblingthemtokeepthemgoing；forhehadalreadybeguntoexercisethetools，andputhiscodpieceinpractice。Whichcodpiece，orbraguette，hisgovernessesdideverydaydeckupandadornwithfairnosegays，curiousrubies，sweetflowers，andfinesilkentufts，andverypleasantlywouldpasstheirtimeintakingyouknowwhatbetweentheirfingers，anddandlingit，tillitdidreviveandcreepuptothebulkandstiffnessofasuppository，orstreetmagdaleon，whichisahardrolled-upsalvespreaduponleather。Thendidtheyburstoutinlaughing，whentheysawitliftupitsears，asifthesporthadlikedthem。Oneofthemwouldcallitherlittledille，herstaffoflove，herquillety，herfaucetin，herdandilolly。Another，herpeen，herjollykyle，herbableret，hermembretoon，herquicksetimp:anotheragain，herbranchofcoral，herfemaleadamant，herplacket-racket，herCypriansceptre，herjewelforladies。Andsomeoftheotherwomenwouldgiveitthesenames，——mybunguetee，mystoppletoo，mybush-rusher，mygallantwimble，myprettyborer，myconey-burrow-ferret，mylittlepiercer，myaugretine，mydanglinghangers，downrighttoit，stiffandstout，inandto，mypusher，dresser，poutingstick，myhoneypipe，myprettypillicock，linkypinky，futilletie，mylustyandouille，andcrimsonchitterling，mylittlecouillebredouille，myprettyrogue，andsoforth。Itbelongstome，saidone。Itismine，saidtheother。What，quothathird，shallIhavenoshareinit？Bymyfaith，Iwillcutitthen。Ha，tocutit，saidtheother，wouldhurthim。
Madam，doyoucutlittlechildren'sthings？Werehiscutoff，hewouldbethenMonsieursansqueue，thecurtailedmaster。Andthathemightplaysporthimselfafterthemanneroftheotherlittlechildrenofthecountry，theymadehimafairweatherwhirl-jackofthewingsofthewindmillofMyrebalais。
Chapter1。XII。
OfGargantua'swoodenhorses。
Afterwards，thathemightbeallhislifetimeagoodrider，theymadetohimafairgreathorseofwood，whichhedidmakeleap，curvet，jerkoutbehind，andskipforward，allatatime:topace，trot，rack，gallop，amble，toplaythehobby，thehackney-gelding:gothegaitofthecamel，andofthewildass。Hemadehimalsochangehiscolourofhair，asthemonksofCoultibo(accordingtothevarietyoftheirholidays)usetodotheirclothes，frombaybrown，tosorrel，dapple-grey，mouse-dun，deer-
colour，roan，cow-colour，gingioline，skewedcolour，piebald，andthecolourofthesavageelk。
Himselfofahugebigpostmadeahuntingnag，andanotherfordailyserviceofthebeamofavinepress:andofagreatoakmadeupamule，withafootcloth，forhischamber。Besidesthis，hehadtenortwelvesparehorses，andsevenhorsesforpost；andallthesewerelodgedinhisownchamber，closebyhisbedside。OnedaytheLordofBreadinbag(Painensac。)cametovisithisfatheringreatbravery，andwithagallanttrain:and，atthesametime，toseehimcamelikewisetheDukeofFreemeal(Francrepas。)andtheEarlofWetgullet(Mouillevent。)。Thehousetrulyforsomanyguestsatoncewassomewhatnarrow，butespeciallythestables；whereuponthestewardandharbingerofthesaidLordBreadinbag，toknowiftherewereanyotheremptystableinthehouse，cametoGargantua，alittleyounglad，andsecretlyaskedhimwherethestablesofthegreathorseswere，thinkingthatchildrenwouldbereadytotellall。
Thenheledthemupalongthestairsofthecastle，passingbythesecondhalluntoabroadgreatgallery，bywhichtheyenteredintoalargetower，andastheyweregoingupatanotherpairofstairs，saidtheharbingertothesteward，Thischilddeceivesus，forthestablesareneveronthetopofthehouse。Youmaybemistaken，saidthesteward，forIknowsomeplacesatLyons，attheBasmette，atChaisnon，andelsewhere，whichhavetheirstablesattheverytopsofthehouses:soitmaybethatbehindthehousethereisawaytocometothisascent。ButIwillquestionwithhimfurther。ThensaidhetoGargantua，Myprettylittleboy，whitherdoyouleadus？Tothestable，saidhe，ofmygreathorses。Wearealmostcometoit；wehavebutthesestairstogoupat。Thenleadingthemalongstanothergreathall，hebroughtthemintohischamber，and，openingthedoor，saiduntothem，Thisisthestableyouaskfor；thisismyjennet；
thisismygelding；thisismycourser，andthisismyhackney，andlaidonthemwithagreatlever。Iwillbestowuponyou，saidhe，thisFrieslandhorse；IhadhimfromFrankfort，yetwillIgivehimyou；forheisaprettylittlenag，andwillgoverywell，withatesselofgoshawks，halfadozenofspaniels，andabraceofgreyhounds:thusareyoukingoftheharesandpartridgesforallthiswinter。BySt。John，saidthey，nowwearepaid，hehathgleekedustosomepurpose，bobbedwearenowforever。
Idenyit，saidhe，——hewasnothereabovethreedays。Judgeyounow，whethertheyhadmostcause，eithertohidetheirheadsforshame，ortolaughatthejest。Astheyweregoingdownagainthusamazed，heaskedthem，Willyouhaveawhimwham(Aubeliere。)？Whatisthat，saidthey？Itis，saidhe，fiveturdstomakeyouamuzzle。To-day，saidthesteward，thoughwehappentoberoasted，weshallnotbeburnt，forweareprettywellquippedandlarded，inmyopinion。Omyjollydapperboy，thouhastgivenusagudgeon；IhopetoseetheePopebeforeIdie。Ithinkso，saidhe，myself；andthenshallyoubeapuppy，andthisgentlepopinjayaperfectpapelard，thatis，dissembler。Well，well，saidtheharbinger。
But，saidGargantua，guesshowmanystitchesthereareinmymother'ssmock。Sixteen，quoththeharbinger。Youdonotspeakgospel，saidGargantua，forthereiscentbefore，andcentbehind，andyoudidnotreckonthemill，consideringthetwounderholes。When？saidtheharbinger。Eventhen，saidGargantua，whentheymadeashovelofyournosetotakeupaquarterofdirt，andofyourthroatafunnel，wherewithtoputitintoanothervessel，becausethebottomoftheoldonewasout。
Cocksbod，saidthesteward，wehavemetwithaprater。Farewell，mastertattler，Godkeepyou，sogoodlyarethewordswhichyoucomeoutwith，andsofreshinyourmouth，thatithadneedtobesalted。
Thusgoingdowningreathaste，underthearchofthestairstheyletfallthegreatlever，whichhehadputupontheirbacks；whereuponGargantuasaid，Whatadevil！youare，itseems，butbadhorsemen，thatsufferyourbildertofailyouwhenyouneedhimmost。IfyouweretogofromhencetoCahusac，whetherhadyourather，rideonagoslingorleadasowinaleash？Ihadratherdrink，saidtheharbinger。Withthistheyenteredintothelowerhall，wherethecompanywas，andrelatingtothemthisnewstory，theymadethemlaughlikeaswarmofflies。
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