"Letusnowpraisefamousmen"——
Menoflittleshowing——
Fortheirworkcontinueth，Andtheirworkcontinueth，Greaterthantheirknowing。
WesternwindandopensurgeToreusfromourmothers；
Flungusonanakedshore（Twelvebleakhousesbytheshore！
Sevensummersbytheshore！）
’Midtwohundredbrothers。
TherewemetwithfamousmenSetinofficeo’erus。
Andtheybeatonuswithrods——
Faithfullywithmanyrods——
Dailybeatusonwithrods——
Forthelovetheyboreus！
OutofEgyptuntoTroy——
OverHimalaya——
Farandsureourbandshavegone——
Hy—BrasilorBabylon，IslandsoftheSouthernRun，AndcitiesofCathaia！
Andweallpraisefamousmen——
AncientsoftheCollege；
Fortheytaughtuscommonsense———
Triedtoteachuscommonsense——
TruthandGod’sOwnCommonSenseWhichismorethanknowledge！
EachdegreeofLatitudeStrungaboutCreationSeethone（ormore）ofus，（Ofonemusterallofus——
Ofonemasterallofus——）
Keeninhisvocation。
ThiswelearnedfromfamousmenKnowingnotitsusesWhentheyshowedindailyworkManmustfinishoffhiswork——
Rightorwrong，hisdailywork—
Andwithoutexcuses。
Servantsofthestaffandchain，Mineandfuseandgrapnel——
SomebeforethefaceofKings，StandbeforethefaceofKings；
BearinggiftstodiversKings——
GiftsofCaseandShrapnel。
ThiswelearnedfromfamousmenTeachinginourborders。
Whodeclare’ditwasbest，Safest，easiestandbest——
Expeditious，wiseandbest——
Toobeyyourorders。
SomebeneaththefurtherstarsBearthegreaterburden。
Settoservethelandstheyrule，（Saveheservenomanmayrule）
Serveandlovethelandstheyrule；
Seekingpraisenorguerdon。
ThiswelearnedfromfamousmenKnowingnotwelearnedit。
Only，astheyearswentby——
Lonely，astheyearswentby——
FarfromhelpasyearswentbyPlainerwediscernedit。
WhereforepraisewefamousmenPromwhosebaysweborrow——
TheythatputasideToday——
AllthejoysoftheirToday——
AndwithtoiloftheirTodayBoughtforusTomorrow！
BlessandpraisewefamousmenMenoflittleshowing！
FortheirworkcontinuethAndtheirworkcontinuethBroadanddeepcontinuethGreatbeyondtheirknowing！
CONTENTS
I。INAMBUSH
II。SLAVESOFTHELAMP——PARTI。
III。ANUNSAVORYINTERLUDE
IV。THEIMPRESSIONISTS
V。THEMORALREFORMERS
VI。ALITTLEPREP。
VII。THEFLAGOFTHEIRCOUNTRY
VIII。THELASTTERM
IX。SLAVESOFTHELAMP——PARTII。
"INAMBUSH。"
Insummerallright—mindedboysbuilthutsinthefurze—hillbehindtheCollege——littlelairswhittledoutoftheheartofthepricklybushes，fullofstumps，oddroot—ends，andspikes，but，sincetheywerestrictlyforbidden，palacesofdelight。Andforthefifthsummerinsuccession，Stalky，McTurk，andBeetle（thiswasbeforetheyreachedthedignityofastudy）hadbuiltlikebeaversaplaceofretreatandmeditation，wheretheysmoked。
Now，therewasnothingintheircharactersasknowntoMr。Prout，theirhouse—master，atallcommandingrespect；nordidFoxy，thesubtlered—hairedschoolSergeant，trustthem。Hisbusinesswastoweartennis—shoes，carrybinoculars，andswoophawklikeuponevilboys。Hadhetakenthefieldalone，thathutwouldhavebeenraided，forFoxyknewthemannersofhisquarry；butProvidencemovedMr。
Prout，whoseschool—name，derivedfromthesizeofhisfeet，wasHoofer，toinvestigateonhisownaccount；anditwasthecautiousStalkywhofoundthetrackofhispugsontheveryflooroftheirlaironepeacefulafternoonwhenStalkywouldfainhaveforgottenProutandhisworksinavolumeofSurteesandanewbriar—woodpipe。Crusoe，atsightofthefootprint，didnotactmoreswiftlythanStalky。Heremovedthepipes，sweptupallloosematch—ends，anddepartedtowarnBeetleandMcTurk。
ButitwascharacteristicoftheboythathedidnotapproachhisalliestillhehadmetandconferredwithlittleHartopp，PresidentoftheNaturalHistorySociety，aninstitutionwhichStalkyheldincontempt，Hartoppwasmorethansurprisedwhentheboymeekly，asheknewhow，beggedtoproposehimself，Beetle，andMcTurkascandidates；confessedtoalong—smotheredinterestinfirst—flowerings，earlybutterflies，andnewarrivals，andvolunteered，ifMr。Hartoppsawfit，toenteronthenewlifeatonce。Beingamaster，Hartoppwassuspicious；buthewasalsoanenthusiast，andhisgentlelittlesoulhadbeengalledbychance—heardremarksfromthethree，andspeciallyBeetle。Sohewasgracioustothatrepentantsinner，andenteredthethreenamesinhisbook。
Then，andnottillthen，didStalkyseekBeetleandMcTurkintheirhouseform—room。
Theywerestowingawaybooksforaquietafternooninthefurze，whichtheycalledthe"wuzzy。"
"Allup，"saidStalky，serenely。"IspottedHeffy’sfairyfeetroundourhutafterdinner。’Blessingthey’resobig。"
"Con—found！Didyouhideourpipes？"saidBeetle。
"Oh，no。Left’eminthemiddleofthehut，ofcourse。Whatablindassyouare，Beetle！D’youthinknobodythinksbutyourself？Well，wecan’tusethehutanymore。
Hooferwillbewatchin’it。"
"’Bother！Likewiseblow！’"saidMcTurkthoughtfully，unpackingthevolumeswithwhichhischestwascased。Theboyscarriedtheirlibrariesbetweentheirbeltandtheircollar。"Nicejob！Thismeanswe’reundersuspicionfortherestoftheterm。"
"Why？AllthatHeffyhasfoundisahut。HeandFoxywillwatchit。It’snothingtodowithus；onlywemustn’tbeseenthatwayforabit。"
"Yes，andwhereelsearewetogo？"saidBeetle。"Youchosethatplace，too——an’——an’Iwantedtoreadthisafternoon。"
Stalkysatonadeskdrumminghisheelsontheform。
"You’readespondin’brute，Beetle。SometimesIthinkIshallhavetodropyoualtogether。DidyoueverknowyourUncleStalkyforgetyouyet？
_His_rebus_infectis_——afterI’dseenHeffy’sman—tracksmarchin’roundourhut，I
foundlittleHartopp——_destricto_ense_——wavin’abutterfly—net。IconciliatedHartopp。’Toldhimthatyou’dreadpaperstotheBug—huntersifhe’dletyoujoin，Beetle。’Toldhimyoulikedbutterflies，Turkey。Anyhow，IsoothedtheHartoffles，andwe’reBug—huntersnow。"
"What’sthegoodofthat？"saidBeetle。
"Oh，Turkey，kickhim！"
IntheinterestsofscienceboundswerelargelyrelaxedforthemembersoftheNaturalHistorySociety。Theycouldwander，iftheykeptclearofallhouses，practicallywheretheychose；Mr。Hartoppholdinghimselfresponsiblefortheirgoodconduct。
BeetlebegantoseethisasMcTurkbeganthekicking。
"I’manass，Stalky！"hesaid，guardingtheafflictedpart。"_Pax_，Turkey。I’manass。"
"Don’tstop，Turkey。Isn’tyourUncleStalkyagreatman？"
"Greatman，"saidBeetle。
"Allthesamebug—huntin’safilthybusiness，"saidMcTurk。"Howthedeucedoesonebegin？"
"Thisway，"saidStalky，turningtosomefags’lockersbehindhim。"FagsaredabsatNaturalHistory。Here’syoungBraybrooke’sbotany—case。"Heflungoutatangleofdecayedrootsandadjustedtheslide。"’Givesonenoendofaprofessionalair，I
think。Here’sClayMinor’sgeologicalhammer。Beetlecancarrythat。Turkey，you’dbettercovetabutterfly—netfromsomewhere。"
"I’mblowedifIdo，"saidMcTurk，simply，withimmensefeeling。"Beetle，givemethehammer。"
"Allright。I’mnotproud。Chuckusdownthatnetontopofthelockers，Stalky。"
"That’sallright。It’sacollapsiblejamboree，too。Beastlyluxuriousdogsthesefagsare。Builtlikeafishin’—rod。’PonmysaintedSam，butwelookthecompleteBug—hunters！Now，listentoyourUncleStalky！We’regoin’alongthecliffsafterbutterflies。Veryfewchapscomethere。We’regoin’tolegit，too。You’dbetterleaveyourbookbehind。"
"Notmuch！"saidBeetle，firmly。"I’mnotgoin’tobedoneoutofmyfunforalotoffilthybutterflies。"
"Thenyou’llsweathorrid。You’dbettercarrymyJorrocks。’Twon’tmakeyouanyhotter。"
Theyallsweated；forStalkyledthematasmarttrotwestawayalongthecliffsunderthefurze—hills，crossingcombeaftergorzycombe。Theytooknoheedtoflyingrabbitsorflutteringfritillaries，andallthatTurkeysaidofgeologywasutterlyunquotable。
"ArewegoingtoClovelly？"hepuffedatlast，andtheyflungthemselvesdownontheshort，springyturfbetweenthedroneoftheseabelowandthelightsummerwindamongtheinlandtrees。Theywerelookingintoacombehalffullofold，highfurzeingaybloomthatranuptoafringeofbramblesandadensewoodofmixedtimberandhollies。Itwasasthoughone—halfthecombewerefilledwithgoldenfiretothecliff’sedge。Thesidenearesttothemwasopengrass，andfairlybristledwithnotice—boards。
"Fee—rociousoldcove，this，"saidStalky，readingthenearest。
"’_Prosecuted_with_the_utmost_rigour_of_the_law_。G。M。Dabney，Col。，J。P。，’an’alltherestofit。’Don’tseemtomethatanychapinhissenseswouldtrespasshere，doesit？"
"You’vegottoprovedamage’foreyoucanprosecuteforanything！’Can’tprosecutefortrespass，"saidMcTurk，whosefatherheldmanyacresinIreland。"That’sallrot！"
"Gladofthat，’causethislookslikewhatwewanted。Notstraightacross，Beetle，youblindlunatic！Anyonecouldspotushalfamileoff。Thisway；andfurlupyourbeastlybutterfly—net。"
Beetledisconnectedthering，thrustthenetintoapocket，shutupthehandletoatwo—footstave，andslidthecane—ringroundhiswaist。Stalkyledinlandtothewood，whichwas，perhaps，aquarterofamilefromthesea，andreachedthefringeofthebrambles。
"_Now_wecangetstraightdownthroughthefurze，andnevershowupatall，"saidthetactician。"Beetle，goaheadandexplore。Snf！Snf！Beastlystinkoffoxsomewhere！"
Onallfours，savewhenheclungtohisspectacles，Beetlewormedintothegorse，andpresentlyannouncedbetweengruntsofpainthathehadfoundaveryfairfox—track。ThiswaswellforBeetle，sinceStalkypinchedhim_a_tergo_。Downthattunneltheycrawled。Itwasevidentlyahighwayfortheinhabitantsofthecombe；
and，totheirinexpressiblejoy，ended，attheveryedgeofthecliff，inafewsquarefeetofdryturfwalledandroofedwithimpenetrablegorse。
"Bygum！Thereisn’tasinglethingtodoexceptliedown，"saidStalky，returningaknifetohispocket。"Lookhere！"
Hepartedthetoughstemsbeforehim，anditwasasawindowopenedonafarviewofLundy，andthedeepseasluggishlynosingthepebblesacoupleofhundredfeetbelow。Theycouldhearyoungjackdawssquawkingontheledges，thehissandjabberofanestofhawkssomewhereoutofsight；and，withgreatdeliberation，Stalkyspatontothebackofayoungrabbitsunninghimselffardownwhereonlyacliff—rabbitcouldhavefoundfoot—hold。Greatgrayandblackgullsscreamedagainstthejackdaws；theheavy—scentedacresofbloomroundthemwerealivewithlow—nestingbirds，singingorsilentastheshadowofthewheelinghawkspassedandreturned；
andonthenakedturfacrossthecomberabbitsthumpedandfrolicked。
"Whew！Whataplace！Talkofnaturalhistory；thisisit，"saidStalky，fillinghimselfapipe。"Isn’titscrumptious？Goodoldsea！"Hespatagainapprovingly，andwassilent。
McTurkandBeetlehadtakenouttheirbooksandwerelyingontheirstomachs，chininhand。Theseasnoredandgurgled；thebirds，scatteredforthemomentbythesenewanimals，returnedtotheirbusinesses，andtheboysreadonintherich，warm，sleepysilence。
"Hullo，here’sakeeper，"saidStalky，shutting"HandleyCross"cautiously，andpeeringthroughthejungle。Amanwithagunappearedonthesky—linetotheeast。
"Confoundhim，he’sgoingtositdown。"
"He’dswearwewerepoachin’，too，"saidBeetle。"What’sthegoodofpheasants’
eggs？They’realwaysaddled，too。"
"Mightaswellgetuptothewood，Ithink，"saidStalky。"Wedon’twantG。M。
Dabney，Col。，J。P。，tobebotheredaboutussosoon。Upthewuzzyandkeepquiet！Hemayhavefollowedus，youknow。"
Beetlewasalreadyfarupthetunnel。Theyheardhimgaspindescribably：therewasthecrashofaheavybodyleapingthroughthefurze。
"Aie！yeoulittleredrascal。Iseeyeou！"Thekeeperthrewtheguntohisshoulder，andfiredbothbarrelsintheirdirection。ThepelletsdustedthedrystemsroundthemasabigfoxplungedbetweenStalky’slegs，andranoverthecliff—edge。
Theysaidnothingtilltheyreachedthewood，torn，disheveled，hot，butunseen。
"Narrowsqueak，"saidStalky。"I’llswearsomeofthepelletswentthroughmyhair。"
"Didyouseehim？’saidBeetle。"Ialmostputmyhandonhim。Wasn’theawopper！
Didn’thestink！Hullo，Turkey，what’sthematter？Areyouhit？"
McTurk’sleanfacehadturnedpearlywhite；hismouth，generallyhalfopen，wastightshut，andhiseyesblazed。Theyhadneverseenhimlikethissaveonceinasadtimeofcivilwar。
"Doyouknowthatthatwasjustasbadasmurder？"hesaid，inagratingvoice，ashebrushedpricklesfromhishead。
"Well，hedidn’thitus，"saidStalky。"Ithinkitwasratheralark。Here，whereareyougoing？"
"I’mgoinguptothehouse，ifthereisone，"saidMcTurk，pushingthroughthehollies。"IamgoingtotellthisColonelDabney。"
"Areyoucrazy？He’llswearitservedusjollywellright。He’llreportus。It’llbeapubliclickin’。Oh，Turkey，don’tbeanass！Thinkofus！"
"Youfool！"saidMcTurk，turningsavagely。"D’yousupposeI’mthinkin’of_us_？It’sthekeeper。"
"He’scracked，"saidBeetle，miserably，astheyfollowed。Indeed，thiswasanewTurkey——ahaughty，angular，nose—liftedTurkey——whomtheyaccompaniedthroughashrubberyontoalawn，whereawhite—whiskeredoldgentlemanwithacleekwasalternatelyputtingandblasphemingvigorously。
"AreyouColonelDabney？"McTurkbeganinthisnewcreakingvoiceofhis。
"I——Iam，and——"hiseyestraveledupanddowntheboy——"who——whatthedevild’youwant？Ye’vebeendisturbingmypheasants。Don’tattempttodenyit。Yeneedn’tlaughatit。"（McTurk’snottoolovelyfeatureshadtwistedthem。selvesintoahorriblesneeratthewordpheasant。）"You’vebeenbirds’—nesting。Youneedn’thideyourhat。
IcanseethatyoubelongtotheCollege。Don’tattempttodenyit。Yedo！Yournameandnumberatonce，sir。Yewanttospeaktome——Eh？Yousawmynotice—boards？Musthave。Don’tattempttodenyit。Yedid！Damnable，ohdamnable！"
Hechokedwithemotion。McTurk’sheeltappedthelawnandhestutteredalittle——twosuresignsthathewaslosinghistemper。Butwhyshouldhe，theoffender，beangry？
"Lo—lookhere，sir。Do——doyoushootfoxes？Because，ifyoudon’t，yourkeeperdoes。
We’veseenhim！Ido—don’tcarewhatyoucallus——butit’sanawfulthing。It’stheruinofgoodfeelin’amongneighbors。Ama—manoughttosayonceandforallhowhestandsaboutpreservin’。It’sworsethanmurder，becausethere’snolegalremedy。"
McTurkwasquotingconfusedlyfromhisfather，whiletheoldgentlemanmadenoisesinhisthroat。
"DoyouknowwhoIam？"hegurgledatlast；StalkyandBeetlequaking。
"No，sorr，nordoIcareifyebelongedtotheCastleitself。Answermenow，asonegentlemantoanother。Doyeshootfoxesordoyenot？"
AndfouryearsbeforeStalkyandBeetlehadcarefullykickedMcTurkoutofhisIrishdialect！Assuredlyhehadgonemadortakenasunstroke，andasassuredlyhewouldbeslain——oncebytheoldgentlemanandoncebytheHead。Apubliclickingforthethroewastheleasttheycouldexpect。Yet——iftheireyesandearsweretobetrusted——theoldgentlemanhadcollapsed。Itmightbealullbeforethestorm，but——
"Idonot。"Hewasstillgurgling。
"Thenyoumustsackyourkeeper。He’snotfittoliveinthesamecountywithaGod—fearin’fox。An’avixen，too——atthistimeo’year！"
"Didyecomeuponpurposetotellmethis？"
"OfcourseIdid，yesillyman，"withastampofthefoot。"Wouldyounothavedoneasmuchformeifyou’dseenthatthinghappenonmyland，now？"
Forgotten——forgottenwastheCollegeandthedecencyduetoelders！McTurkwastreadingagainthebarrenpurplemountainsoftherainyWestcoast，whereinhisholidayshewasviceroyoffourthousandnakedacres，onlysonofathree—hundred—year—oldhouse，lordofacrazyfishing—boat，andtheidolofhisfather’sshiftlesstenantry。Itwasthelandedmanspeakingtohisequal——deepcallingtodeep——andtheoldgentlemanacknowledgedthecry。
"Iapologize，"saidhe。"Iapologizeunreservedly——toyou，andtotheOldCountry。
Now，willyoubegoodenoughtotellmeyourstory？"
"Wewereinyourcombe，"McTurkbegan，andhetoldhistalealternatelyasaschoolboyand，whentheiniquityofthethingovercamehim，asanindignantsquire；
concluding："Soyouseehemustbeinthehabitofit。I——we———oneneverwantstoaccuseaneighbor’sman；butItookthelibertyinthiscase——"
"Isee。Quiteso。Forareasonyehad。Infamous———oh，infamous！"
Thetwohadfallenintostepbesideeachotheronthelawn，andColonelDabneywastalkingasonemantoanother。"Thiscomesofpromotingafisherman——afisherman——fromhislobster—pots。It’senoughtoruinthereputationofanarchangel。Don’tattempttodenyit。Itis！Yourfatherhasbroughtyouupwell。Hehas。I’dmuchlikethepleasureofhisacquaintance。Verymuch，indeed。Andtheseyounggentlemen？Englishtheyare。Don’tattempttodenyit。Theycameupwithyou，too？Extraordinary！Extraordinary，now！InthepresentstateofeducationI
shouldn’thavethoughtanythreeboyswouldbewellenoughgrounded。Butoutofthemouthsof——No——no！Notthatbyanyodds。Don’tattempttodenyit。Ye’renot！
Sherryalwayscatchesmeundertheliver，but——beer，now？Eh？Whatd’yousaytobeer，andsomethingtoeat？It’slongsinceIwasaboy——abominablenuisances；butexceptionsprovetherule。Andavixen，too！"Theywerefedontheterracebyagray—hairedhousekeeper。StalkyandBeetlemerelyate，butMcTurkwithbrighteyescontinuedafreeandloftydiscourse；andevertheoldgentlemantreatedhimasabrother。
"Mydearman，ofcourseyecancomeagain。DidInotsayexceptionsprovetherule？
Thelowercombe？Man，dear，anywhereyeplease，solongasyoudonotdisturbmypheasants。Thetwoarenotincompatible。Don’tattempttodenyit。They’renot！I’llneverallowanothergun，though。Comeandgoasyeplease。I’llnotseeyou，andyeneedn’tseeme。Ye’vebeenwellbroughtup。Anotherglassofbeer，now？Itellyouafishermanhewasandafishermanheshallbeto—nightagain。Heshall！WishIcoulddrownhim。I’llconvoyyoutotheLodge。Mypeoplearenotprecisely——ah——broketoboy，butthey’llknowyouagain。"
HedismissedthemwithmanycomplimentsbythehighLodge—gateinthesplit—oakparkpalingsandtheystoodstill；evenStalky，whohadplayedsecond，nottosayadumb，fiddle，regardingMcTurkasonefromanotherworld。Thetwoglassesofstronghome—brewedhadbroughtamelancholyupontheboy，for，slowlystrollingwithhishandsinhispockets，hecrooned：——"Oh，Paddydear，anddidyehearthenewsthat’sgoin’round？"
UnderothercircumstancesStalkyandBeetlewouldhavefallenuponhim，forthatsongwasbarredutterly——anathema——thesinofwitchcraft。Butseeingwhathehadwrought，theydancedroundhiminsilence，waitingtillitpleasedhimtotouchearth。
Thetea—bellrangwhentheywerestillhalfamilefromCollege。McTurkshiveredandcameoutofdreams。Thegloryofhisholidayestatehadlefthim。HewasaCollegeroftheCollege，speakingEnglishoncemore。
"Turkey，itwasimmense！"saidStalky，generously。"Ididn’tknowyouhaditinyou。
You’vegotusahutfortherestoftheterm，wherewesimply_can’t_becollared。
Fids！Fids！Oh，Fids！Igloat！Hearmegloat！"
Theyspunwildlyontheirheels，jodelingaftertheacceptedmannerofa"gloat，"
whichisnotunremotelyalliedtotheprimitiveman’ssongoftriumph，anddroppeddownthehillbythepathfromthegasometerjustintimetomeettheirhouse—master，whohadspenttheafternoonwatchingtheirabandonedhutinthe"wuzzy。"
Unluckily，allMr。Prout’simaginationleanedtothedarkersideoflife，andhelookedonthoseyoung—eyedcherubimsmostsourly。Boysthatheunderstoodattendedhouse—matchesandcouldbeaccountedforatanymoment。ButhehadheardMcTurkopenlyderidecricket——evenhouse—matches；Beetle’sviewsonthehonorofthehouseheknewwereincendiary；andhecouldnevertellwhenthesoftandsmilingStalkywaslaughingathim。Consequently——sincehumannatureiswhatitis——thoseboyshadbeendoingwrongsomewhere。Hehopeditwasnothingveryserious，but……
"_Ti—ra—ra—la—i—tu_！Igloat！Hearme！"Stalky，stillonhisheels，whirledlikeadancingdervishtothedining—hall。
"_Ti—ra—la—la—i—tu_！Igloat！Hearme！"Beetlespunbehindhimwithoutstretchedarms。
"_Ti—ra—la—la—i—tu_！Igloat！Hearme！"McTurk’svoicecracked。
NowwasthereorwastherenotadistinctflavorofbeerastheyshotpastMr。
Prout？
Hewasunluckyinthathisconscienceasahouse—masterimpelledhimtoconsulthisassociates。HadhetakenhispipeandhistroublestolittleHartopp’sroomshewould，perhaps，havebeensavedconfusion，forHartoppbelievedinboys，andknewsomethingaboutthem。HisfateledhimtoKing，afellowhouse—master，nofriendofhis，butazealoushaterofStalky&Co。
"Ah—haa！"saidKing，rubbinghishandswhenthetalewastold。"Curious！Now_my_
houseneverdreamofdoingthesethings。"
"ButyouseeI’venoproof，exactly。"
"Proof？WiththeegregiousBeetle！Asifonewantedit！IsupposeitisnotimpossiblefortheSergeanttosupplyit？Foxyisconsideredatleastamatchforanyevasiveboyinmyhouse。Ofcoursetheyweresmokinganddrinkingsomewhere。Thattypeofboyalwaysdoes。Theythinkitmanly。"
"Butthey’venofollowingintheschool，andtheyaredistinctly——erbrutaltotheirjuniors，"saidProut，whohadfromadistanceseenBeetlereturn，withinterest，hisbutterfly—nettoatearfulfag。
"Ah！Theyconsiderthemselvessuperiortoordinarydelights。Self—sufficientlittleanimals！There’ssomethinginMcTurk’sHiberniansneerthatwouldmakemealittleannoyed。Andtheyaresocarefultoavoidallovertacts，too。It’ssheercalculatedinsolence。Iamstronglyopposed，asyouknow，tointerferingwithanotherman’shouse；buttheyneedalesson，Prout。Theyneedasharplesson，ifonlytobringdowntheirover—weeningself—conceit。WereIyou，Ishoulddevotemyselfforaweektotheirlittleperformances。Boysofthatorder——andImayflattermyself，butI
thinkIknowboys——don’tjointheBug—huntersforlove。TelltheSergeanttokeephiseyeopen；and，ofcourse，inmyperegrinationsImaycasuallykeepmineopen，too。"
"_Ti—ra—la—la—i—tu_！Igloat！Hearme！"fardownthecorridor。
"Disgusting！"saidKing。"Wheredotheypickuptheseobscenenoises？Onesharplessoniswhattheywant。"
Theboysdidnotconcernthemselveswithlessonsforthenextfewdays。TheyhadallColonelDabney’sestatetoplaywith，andtheyexploreditwiththestealthofRedIndiansandtheaccuracyofburglars。TheycouldentereitherbytheLodge—gatesontheupperroad——theywerecarefultoingratiatethemselveswiththeLodge—keeperandhiswife——dropdownintothecombe，andreturnalongthecliffs；ortheycouldbeginatthecombeandclimbupintotheroad。
TheywerecarefulnottocrosstheColonel’spath——hehadservedhisturn，andtheywouldnotout—weartheirwelcome——nordidtheyshowuponthesky—linewhentheycouldmoveincover。Theshelterofthegorzebythecliff—edgewastheirchosenretreat。BeetlechristeneditthePleasantIsleofAves，forthepeaceandtheshelterofit；andhere，thepipesandtobaccooncecache’dinaconvenientledgeanarm’slengthdownthecliff，theirpositionwaslegallyunassailable。
For，observe，ColonelDabneyhadnotinvitedthemtoenterhishouse。Therefore，theydidnotneedtoaskspecificleavetogovisiting；andschoolruleswerestrictonthatpoint。Hehadmerelythrownopenhisgroundstothem；and，sincetheywerelawfulBug—hunters，theirextendedboundsranuptohisnotice—boardsinthecombeandhisLodge—gatesonthehill。
Theywereamazedattheirownvirtue。
"Andevenifitwasn’t，"saidStalky，flatonhisback，staringintotheblue。"Evensupposeweweremilesoutofbounds，noonecouldgetatusthroughthiswuzzy，unlessheknewthetunnel。Isn’tthisbetterthanlyin’upjustbehindtheColl。——inabluefunkeverytimewehadasmoke？Isn’tyourUncleStalky——？"
"No，"saidBeetle——hewasstretchedattheedgeofthecliffspittingthoughtfully。
"We’vegottothankTurkeyforthis。TurkeyistheGreatMan。Turkey，dear，you’redistressingHeffles。"
"Gloomyoldass！"saidMcTurk，deepinabook。
"They’vegotusundersuspicion，"saidStalky。"Hoophats_is_sosuspicioussomehow；
andFoxyalwaysmakeseverystalkhedoesasortof——sortof——"
"Scalp，"saidBeetle。"Foxy’sagiddyChingangook。"
"PoorFoxy，"saidStalky。"He’sgoin’tocatchusoneofthesedays。’SaidtomeintheGymlastnight，’I’vegotmyeyeonyou，MisterCorkran。I’monlywarningyouforyourgood。’ThenIsaid：’Well，youjollywelltakeitoffagain，oryou’llgetintotrouble。I’monlywarnin’youforyourgood。’Foxywaswrath。"
"Yes，butit’sonlyfairsportforFoxy，"saidBeetle。"It’sHefflelingathathastheevilmind。’Shouldn’twonderifhethoughtwegottight。"
"Inevergotsquiffybutonce——thatwasintheholidays，"saidStalky，reflectively；
"an’itmademehorridsick。’PonmysacredSam，though，it’senoughtodriveamantodrink，havin’ananimallikeHoofforhouse—master。"
"Ifweattendedthematchesan’yelled，’Wellhit，sir，’an’stoodononelegan’
grinnedeverytimeHeffysaid，’Soho，mysons。Isitthus？’an’said，’Yes，sir，’
an’’No，sir，’an’’O，sir，’an’’Please，sir，’likealoto’filthyfa—ags，Heffy’udthinknoendofus，"saidMcTurkwithasneer。
"Toolatetobeginthat。"
"It’sallright。TheHefflelingameanswell。_But_heisanass。_And_weshowhimthatwethinkhe’sanass。An’_so_Heffydon’tloveus。’Toldmelastnightafterprayersthathewas_in_loco_parentis_，"Beetlegrunted。
"Thedeucehedid！"criedStalky。"Thatmeanshe’smaturin’somethingunusualdam’
mean。Lasttimehetoldmethathegavemethreehundredlinesfordancin’thecachucainNumberTendormitory。_Loco_parentis_，bygum！Butwhat’stheoddsaslongasyou’re’appy？_We’re_allright。"
Theywere，andtheirveryrightnesspuzzledProut，King，andtheSergeant。Boyswithbadconsciencesshowit。TheyslinkoutpasttheFivesCourtinhaste，andsmilenervouslywhenquestioned。Theyreturn，disordered，inbaretimetosaveacall—over。Theynodandwinkandgiggleonetotheother，scatteringattheapproachofamaster。ButStalkyandhisallieshadlongout—livedthesemanifestationsofyouth。Theystrolledforthunconcernedly，andreturnedinexcellentshapeafteralightrefreshmentofstrawberriesandcreamattheLodge。
TheLodge—keeperhadbeenpromotedtokeeper，_vice_themurderousfisherman，andhiswifemademuchoftheboys。Theman，too，gavethemasquirrel，whichtheypresentedtotheNaturalHistorySociety；therebycheckmatinglittleHartopp，whowishedtoknowwhattheyweredoingforScience。FoxyfaithfullyworkedsomedeepDevonlanesbehindalonelycross—roadsinn；anditwascuriousthatProutandKing，membersofCommon—roomseldomfriendly，walkedtogetherinthesamedirection——thatistosay，northeast。
Now，thePleasantIsleofAveslayduesouthwest。"They’redeep——day—vilishdeep，"
saidStalky。"Whyaretheydrawin’thosecovers？"
"Me，"saidBeetlesweetly。"IaskedFoxyifhehadevertastedthebeerthere。ThatwasenoughforFoxy，anditcheeredhimupalittle。HeandHeffyweresniffin’
roundouroldhutsolongIthoughtthey’dlikeachange。"
"Well，itcan’tlastforever，"saidStalky。"Heffy’sbankin’uplikeathunder—cloud，an’Kinggoesrubbin’hisbeastlyhands，an’grinnin’likeahyena。
It’sshockin’demoralizin’forKing。He’llburstsomeday。"
Thatdaycamealittlesoonerthantheyexpected——camewhentheSergeant，whosedutyitwastocollectdefaulters，didnotattendanafternooncall—over。
"Tiredofpubs，eh？He’sgoneuptothetopofthebillwithhisbinocularstospotus，"saidStalky。"Wonderhedidn’tthinkofthatbefore。DidyouseeoldHeffycockhiseyeatuswhenweansweredournames？Heffy’sinit，too。_Ti—ra—la—la—i—tu_！I
gloat！Hearme！Comeon！"
"Aves？"saidBeetle。
"Ofcourse，butI’mnotsmokin’_aujourd’hui_。_Parceque_je_jollywell_pense_thatwe’llbe_suivi_。We’llgoalongthecliffs，slow，an’giveFoxylotsoftimetoparallelusupabove。"
Theystrolledtowardstheswimming—baths，andpresentlyovertookKing。"Oh，don’tlet_me_interruptyou，"hesaid。"Engagedinscientificpursuits，ofcourse？I
trustyouwillenjoyyourselves，myyoungfriends。"
"Yousee！"saidStalky，whentheywereoutofear—shot。"He_can’t_keepasecret。
He’sfollowin’tocutoffourlineofretreat。He’llwaitatthebathstillHeffycomesalong。They’vetriedeveryblessedplaceexceptalongthecliffs，andnowtheythinkthey’vebottledus。Noneedtohurry。"
Theywalkedleisurelyoverthecombestilltheyreachedthelineofnotice—boards。
"Listenashake。Foxy’supwindcomin’downhilllikebeans。Whenyouhearhimmoveinthebushes，gostraightacrosstoAves。Theywanttocatchus_flagrante_delicto_。"
Theydivedintothegorseatrightanglestothetunnel，openlycrossingthegrass，andlaystillinAves。
"WhatdidItellyou？"Stalkycarefullyputawaythepipesandtobacco。TheSergeant，outofbreath，wasleaningagainstthefence，rakingthefurzewithhisbinoculars，buthemightaswellhavetriedtoseethroughasand—bag。Anon，ProutandKingappearedbehindhim。Theyconferred。
"Aha！Foxydon’tlikethenotice—boards，andhedon’tliketheprickleseither。Nowwe’llcutupthetunnelandgototheLodge。Hullo！They’vesentFoxyintocover。"
TheSergeantwaswaist—deepincrackling，swayingfurze，hisearsfilledwiththenoiseofhisownprogress。Theboysreachedtheshelterofthewoodandlookeddownthroughabeltofhollies。
"Hellishnoise！"saidStalky，critically。"’Don’tthinkColonelDabneywilllikeit。
ImovewegointotheLodgeandgetsomethingtoeat。Wemightaswellseethefunout。"
Suddenlythekeeperpassedthematatrot。"Who’mtheytocombe—bottomforLard’ssake？Master’llbecrazy，"hesaid。
"Poacherssimly，"StalkyrepliedinthebroadDevonthatwastheboy’s_langue_de_guerre_。
"I’llpoach’emtoraights！"Hedroppedintothefunnel—likecombe，whichpresentlybegantofillwithnoises，notablyKing’svoicecrying："Goon，Sergeant！Leavehimalone，you，sir。Heisexecutingmyorders。"
"Who’myeoutogiveardershere，gingywhiskers？Yeoucomeuptothemaster。Comeouto’thatwuzzy！[ThisistotheSergeant。]Yiss，Ireckonusknowstheboysyeou’mafter。They’vetulongearsan’vuzzybellies，an’younippiestheyinyeourpocketswhenthey’mdead。Comeonuptomaster！He’llboyyeouallyou’reamindto。
Yeouotherfolkbideyoursidefence。"
"Explaintotheproprietor。Youcanexplain，Sergeant，"shoutedKing。EvidentlytheSergeanthadsurrenderedtothemajorforce。
BeetlelayatfulllengthontheturfbehindtheLodge，literallybitingtheearthinspasmsofjoy。Stalkykickedhimupright。TherewasnothingoflevityaboutStalkyorMcTurksaveastraymuscletwitchingonthecheek。
TheytappedattheLodgedoor，wheretheywerealwayswelcome。"Comeyeourightinan’setdown，mylittledearrs，"saidthewoman。"They’llnivertouchmyman。He’llpoach’emtorights。Issfai！Freshberriesan’cream。UsDartymoorfolkniverforgittheirfriends。ButthemBidevorpoachers，they’venohemtotheirgarments。
Sugar？Mymanhe’vediggedabadgerforyeou，mydearrs。’Tisinthelinhayinabox。"
"Us’lltakeunwithuswhenwe’refinishedhere。Ireckonyeou’mbusy。We’llbideherean’——’tiswashin’daywithyeou，simly，"saidStalky。"We’mnocompanytomakeallvittyfor。Neveryeoumindus。Yiss。There’splentycream。"
Thewomanwithdrew，wipingherpinkhandsonherapron，andleftthemintheparlor。
Therewasascuffleoffeetonthegraveloutsidetheheavily—leadeddiamondpanes，andthenthevoiceofColonelDabney，somethingclearerthanabugle。
"Yecanread？You’veeyesinyourhead？Don’tattempttodenyit。Yehave！"
Beetlesnatchedacrochet—workantimacassarfromtheshinyhorsehairsofa，stuffeditintohismouth，androlledoutofsight。
"Yousawmynotice—boards。Yourduty？Curseyourimpudence，sir。Yourdutywastokeepoffmygrounds。Talkofdutyto_me_！Why——why——why，yemisbegottenpoacher，ye’llbeteachingmemyABCnext！Roarin’likeabullinthebushesdownthere！
Boys？Boys？Boys？Keepyourboysathome，then！I’mnotresponsibleforyourboys！
ButIdon’tbelieveit——Idon’tbelieveawordofit。Ye’veafurtivelookinyoureye——afurtive，sneakin’，poachin’lookinyoureye，that’udruinthereputationofanarchangel！Don’tattempttodenyit！Yehave！Asergeant？Moreshametoyou，then，an’theworstbargainHerMajestyevermade！Asergeant，torunaboutthecountrypoachin’——onyourpension！Damnable！Oh，damnable！ButI’llbeconsiderate。
I’llbemerciful。Bygad，I’llbetheveryessenceo’humanity！Didye，ordidyenot，seemynotice—boards？Don’tattempttodenyit！Yedid。Silence，Sergeant！"
Twenty—oneyearsinthearmyhadlefttheirmarkonFoxy。Heobeyed。
"Now。March！"ThehighLodgegateshutwithaclang。"Myduty！Asergeanttotellmemyduty！"puffedColonelDabney。"GoodLard！moresergeants！"
"It’sKing！It’sKing！"gulpedStalky，hisheadonthehorsehairpillow。McTurkwaseatingtherag—carpetbeforethespecklesshearth，andthesofaheavedtotheemotionsofBeetle。Throughthethickglassthefigureswithoutshowedblue，distorted，andmenacing。
"I——Iprotestagainstthisoutrage。"Kinghadevidentlybeenrunninguphill。"Themanwasentirelywithinhisduty。Let——letmegiveyoumycard。"
"He’sinflannels！"Stalkyburiedhisheadagain。
"Unfortunately——mostunfortunately——Ihavenotonewithme，butmynameisKing，sir，ahouse—masteroftheCollege，andyouwillfindmeprepared——fullyprepared——toanswerforthisman’saction。We’veseenthree——"
"Didyeseemynotice—boards？"
"Iadmitwedid；butunderthecircumstances——"
"Istand_in_loco_parentis_。"Prout’sdeepvoicewasaddedtothediscussion。Theycouldhearhimpant。
"F’what？"ColonelDabneywasgrowingmoreandmoreIrish。
"I’mresponsiblefortheboysundermycharge。"
"Yeare，areye？ThenallIcansayisthatyesetthemaverybadexample——adam’
badexample，ifImaysayso。Idonotownyourboys。I’venotseenyourboys，an’I
tellyouthatiftherewasaboygrinnin’ineverybushontheplace，_still_ye’venoshadowofarighthere，comin’upfromthecombethatway，an’frightenin’
everythinginit。Don’tattempttodenyit。Yedid。YeshouldhavecometotheLodgean’seenmelikeChristians，insteadofchasin’yourdam’boysthroughthelengthandbreadthofmycovers。_In_loco_parentis_yeare？Well，I’venotforgottenmyLatineither，an’I’llsaytoyou：’_Quis_custodiet_ipsos_custodes_。’Ifthemasterstrespass，howcanweblametheboys？"
"ButifIcouldspeaktoyouprivately，"saidProut。
"I’llhavenothingprivatewithyou！Yecanbeasprivateasyepleaseontheothersideo’thatgatean’——Iwishyeaverygoodafternoon。"
Asecondtimethegateclanged。TheywaitedtillColonelDabneyhadreturnedtothehouse，andfellintooneanother’sarms，crowingforbreath。
"Oh，mySoul！Oh，myKing！Oh，myHeffy！Oh，myFoxy！Zeal，allzeal，Mr。Simple。"
Stalkywipedhiseyes。"Oh！OhIOh！——’I_did_boiltheexciseman！’Wemustgetoutofthisorwe’llbelatefortea。"
"Ge——Ge——getthebadgerandmakelittleHartopphappy。Ma——ma——make’emallhappy，"
sobbedMcTurk，gropingforthedoorandkickingtheprostrateBeetlebeforehim。
Theyfoundthebeastinanevil—smellingbox，lefttwohalf—crownsforpayment，andstaggeredhome。OnlythebadgergruntedmostmarvelouslikeColonelDabney，andtheydroppedhimtwiceorthricewithshrieksofhelplesslaughter。TheywerebutimperfectlyrecoveredwhenFoxymetthembytheFivesCourtwithwordthattheyweretogouptotheirdormitoryandwaittillsentfor。
"Well，takethisboxtoMr。Hartopp’srooms，then。We’vedonesomethingfortheNaturalHistorySociety，atanyrate，"saidBeetle。
"’Fraidthatwon’tsaveyou，younggen’elmen，"Foxyanswered，inanawfulvoice。Hewassorelyruffledinhismind。
"Allsereno，Foxibus。"Stalkyhadreachedtheextremestageofhiccups。"We——we’llneverdesertyou，Foxy。Houndschoppin’foxesincoverismoreaproofofvice，ain’tit？……No，you’reright。I’m——I’mnotquitewell。"
"They’vegoneabittoofarthistime，"Foxythoughttohimself。"Veryfargone，_I’d_say，excep’therewasnosmellofliquor。An’yetitisn’tlike’em——somehow。
KingandProutthey’adtheirdressin’—downsameasme。That’sonecomfort。"
"Now，wemustpullup，"saidStalky，risingfromthebedonwhichhehadthrownhimself。"We’reinjuredinnocence——asusual。Wedon’tknowwhatwe’vebeensentupherefor，dowe？"
"Noexplanation。Deprivedoftea。Publicdisgracebeforethehouse，"saidMcTurk，whoseeyeswererunningover。"It’sdam’serious。"
"Well，holdon，tillKingloseshistemper，"saidBeetle。"He’salibelousoldrip，an’he’llbeinaravin’paddy—wack。Prout’stoobeastlycautious。KeepyoureyeonKing，and，ifhegivesusachance，appealtotheHead。Thatalwaysmakes’emsick。"
Theyweresummonedtotheirhouse—master’sstudy，KingandFoxysupportingProut，andFoxyhadthreecanesunderhisarm。Kingleeredtriumphantly，forthereweretears，undriedtearsofmirth，ontheboys’cheeks。Thentheexaminationbegan。
Yes，theyhadwalkedalongthecliffs。Yes，theyhadenteredColonelDabney’sgrounds。Yes，theyhadseenthenotice—boards（atthispointBeetlesputteredhysterically）。ForwhatpurposehadtheyenteredColonelDabney’sgrounds？"Well，sir，therewasabadger。"
HereKing，wholoathedtheNaturalHistorySocietybecausehedidnotlikeHartopp，couldnolongerberestrained。Hebeggedthemnottoaddmendacitytoopeninsolence。ButthebadgerwasinMr。Hartopp’srooms，sir。TheSergeanthadkindlytakenitupforthem。Thatdisposedofthebadger，andthetemporarycheckbroughtKing’stempertoboiling—point。TheycouldhearhisfootonthefloorwhileProutpreparedhislumberinginquiries。Theyhadsettledintotheirstridenow。Theireyesceasedtosparkle；theirfaceswereblank；theirhandshungbesidethemwithoutatwitch。Theywerelearning，attheexpenseofafellow—countryman，thelessonoftheirrace，whichistoputawayallemotionandentrapthealienatthepropertime。
Sofargood。Kingwasimportinghimselfmorefreelyintothetrial，beingvengefulwhereProutwasgrieved。Theyknewthepenaltiesoftrespassing？Withafineshowofirresolution，Stalkyadmittedthathehadgatheredsomeinformationvaguelybearingonthishead，buthethought——Thesentencewasdraggedouttotheuttermost：Stalkydidnotwishtoplayhistrumpwithsuchanopponent。Mr。Kingdesirednobuts，norwasheinterestedinStalky’sevasions。They，ontheotherhand，mightbeinterestedinhispoorviews。Boyswhocrept——whosneaked——wholurked——outofbounds，eventhegenerousboundsoftheNaturalHistorySociety，whichtheyhadfalselyjoinedasacloakfortheirmisdeeds——theirvices——theirvillainies——theirimmoralities——
"He’llbreakcoverinaminute，"saidStalkytohimself。"Thenwe’llrunintohimbeforehegetsaway。"
Suchboys，scabrousboys，morallepers——thecurrentofhiswordswascarryingKingoffhisfeet——evil—speakers，liars，slow—bellies——yea，incipientdrunkards……
Hewasmerelyworkinguptoaperoration，andtheboysknewit；butMcTurkcutthroughthefrothingsentence，theothersechoing：
"IappealtotheHead，sir。"
"Iappealtothehead，sir。"
"IappealtotheHead，sir。"
Itwastheirunquestionedright。Drunkennessmeantexpulsionafterapublicflogging。Theyhadbeenaccusedofit。ThecasewastheHead’s，andtheHead’salone。
"ThouhastappealeduntoCaesar：untoCaesarshaltthougo。"Theyhadheardthatsentenceonceortwicebeforeintheircareers。"Nonetheless，"saidKing，uneasily，"youwouldbebetteradvisedtoabidebyourdecision，myyoungfriends。"
"AreweallowedtoassociatewiththerestoftheschooltillweseetheHead，sir？"
saidMcTurktohishouse—master，disregardingKing。Thisatonceliftedthesituationtoitsloftiestplane。Moreover，itmeantnowork，formoralleprosywasstrictlyquarantined，andtheHeadneverexecutedjudgmenttilltwenty—fourcoldhourslater。
"Well——er——ifyoupersistinyourdefiantattitude，"saidKing，withalovinglookatthecanesunderFoxy’sarm。"Thereisnoalternative。"
Tenminuteslaterthenewswasoverthewholeschool。StalkyandCo。hadfallenatlast——fallenbydrink。Theyhadbeendrinking。Theyhadreturnedblind—drunkfromahut。Theywereevennowlyinghopelesslyintoxicatedonthedormitoryfloor。Afewboldspiritscreptuptolook，andreceivedbootsabouttheheadfromthecriminals。
"We’vegothim——gothimontheCaudineToasting—fork！"saidStalky，afterthosehintsweretaken。"King’llhavetoprovehischargesuptothegiddyhilt。"
"Toomuchticklee，himbust，"Beetlequotedfromabookofhisreading。"Didn’tI
sayhe’dgopopifwelatunbide？"
"Noprep。，either，Oyeincipientdrunkards，"saidMcTurk，"andit’strignight，too。Hullo！Here’sourdearfriendFoxy。Moretortures，Foxibus？"
"I’vebroughtyousomethingtoeat，younggentlemen，"saidtheSergeantfrombehindacrowdedtray。Theirwarshadeverbeenwagedwithoutmalice，andasuspicionfloatedinFoxy’smindthatboyswhoallowedthemselvestobetrackedsoeasilymight，perhaps，holdsomethinginreserve。FoxyhadservedthroughtheMutiny，whenearlyandaccurateinformationwasworthmuch。
"I——Inoticedyou’adn’t’adanythingtoeat，an’IspoketoGumbly，an’hesaidyouwasn’texactlycutofffromsupplies。SoIbroughtupthis。It’syourpotted’amtin，ain’tit，Mr。Corkran？"
"Why，Foxibus，you’reabrick，"saidStalky。"Ididn’tthinkyouhadthismuch——what’stheword，Beetle？"
"Bowels，"Beetlereplied，promptly。"Thankyou，Sergeant。That’syoungCarter’spottedham，though。"
"TherewasaConit。IthoughtitwasMr。Corkran’s。Thisisaveryseriousbusiness，younggentlemen。That’swhatitis。Ididn’tknow，perhaps，buttheremightbesomethingonyoursidewhichyouhadn’tsaidtoMr。KingorMr。Prout，maybe。"
"Thereis。Heaps，Foxibus。"ThisfromStalkythroughafullmouth。
"Thenyousee，ifthatwasthecase，itseemedtomeImightrepresentit，quietsotosay，tothe’Eadwhenheasksmeaboutit。I’vegottotake’imthechargesto—night，an’——itlooksbadonthefaceofit。"
"’Trociousbad，Foxy。Twenty—sevencutsintheGymbeforealltheschool，andpublicexpulsion。’Wineisamocker，strongdrinkisragin’，’"quothBeetle。
"It’snothin’tomakefunof，younggentlemen。I’avetogotothe’Eadwiththecharges。An’——an’youmayn’tbeaware，per’aps，thatIwasfollowin’youthisafternoon；havin’mysuspicions。"
"Didyeseethenotice—boards？"croakedMcTurk，intheverybrogueofColonelDabney。
"Ye’veeyesinyourhead。Don’tattempttodenyit。Yedid！"saidBeetle。
"Asergeant！Torunaboutpoachin’onyourpension！Damnable，Odamnable！"saidStalky，withoutpity。
"GoodLord！"saidtheSergeant，sittingheavilyuponabed。"Where——wherethedevil_was_you？Imightha’knownitwasado——somewhere。"
"Oh，youclevermaniac！"Stalkyresumed。"Wemayn’tbeawareyouwerefollowin’usthisafternoon，mayn’twe？’Thoughtyouwerestalkin’us，eh？Why，weledyoubungintoit，ofcourse。ColonelDabney——don’tyouthinkhe’saniceman，Foxy？——ColonelDabney’sourpetparticularfriend。We’vebeengoin’thereforweeksandweeks，heinvitedus。Youandyourduty！Curseyourduty，sir！Yourdutywastokeepoffhiscovers。"
"You’llneverbeabletoholdupyourheadagain，Foxy。Thefags’llhootatyou，"
saidBeetle。
"Thinkofyourgiddyprestige！"TheSergeantwasthinking——hard。
"Look’ere，younggentlemen，"hesaid，earnestly。"Youaren’tsurelyevergoin’totell，areyou？Wasn’tMr。ProutandMr。Kingin——inittoo？"
"Foxibusculus，they_was_。Theywas——singularhorrid。Caughtitworsethanyou。Weheardeverywordofit。Yougotoffeasy，considerin’。IfI’dbeenDabneyIswearI’dha’quoddedyou。IthinkI’llsuggestittohimto—morrow。"
"An’it’sallgoin’uptothe’Ead。Oh，GoodLord！"
"Everygiddywordofit，myChingangook，"saidBeetle，dancing。"Whyshouldn’tit？
_We’ve_donenothingwrong。_We_ain’tpoachers。_We_didn’tcutaboutblastin’thecharactersofpoor，innocentboys——sayingtheyweredrunk。"
"ThatIdidn’t，"saidFoxy。"I——Ionlysaidthatyoube’aveduncommonoddwhenyoucomebackwiththatbadger。Mr。Kingmayhavetakenthewronghintfromthat。"
"’Coursehedid；an’he’lljollywellshovealltheblameonyouwhenhefindsouthe’swrong。WeknowKing，ifyoudon’t。I’mashamedofyou。Youain’tfittobeasergeant，"saidMcTurk。
"Notwiththreethorough—goin’youngdevilslikeyou，Iain’t。I’vebeenhad。I’vebeenambuscaded。Horse，foot，an’guns，I’vebeenhad，an’——an’there’llbenoholdin’thejuniorformsafterthis。M’rover，the’EadwillsendmewithanotetoColonelDabneytoaskifwhatyousayaboutbein’invitedwastrue。"
"Thenyou’dbettergoinbytheLodge—gatesthistime，insteadofchasin’yourdam’
boys——oh，thatwastheEpistletoKing——soitwas。We—el，Foxy？"Stalkyputhischinonhishandsandregardedthevictimwithdeepdelight。
"_Ti—ra—la—la—i—tu_！Igloat！Hearme！"saidMcTurk。"Foxybroughtusteawhenweweremorallepers。Foxyhasaheart。FoxyhasbeenintheArmy，too。"
"IwishI’dha’hadyouinmycompany，younggentlemen，"saidtheSergeantfromthedepthsofhisheart；"I’dha’givenyousomething。"
"Silenceatdrum—headcourt—martial，"McTurkwenton。"I’madvocatefortheprisoner；and，besides，thisismuchtoogoodtotellalltheotherbrutesintheColl。They’d_never_understand。Theyplaycricket，andsay：’Yessir，’and’O，sir，’and’No，sir。’"
"Nevermindthat。Goahead，"saidStalky。
"Well，Foxy’sagoodlittlechapwhenhedoesnotesteemhimselfsoastobeclever。"
"’Takenotoutyour’oundsonawerrywindyday，’"Stalkystruckin。"_I_don’tcareifyoulethimoff。"
"Norme，"saidBeetle。"Heffyismyonlyjoy——HeffyandKing。"
"I’adtodoit，"saidtheSergeant，plaintively。
"Right，O！Ledawaybybadcompanionsintheexecutionofhisdutyor——orwordstothateffect。You’redismissedwithareprimand，Foxy。_We_won’ttellabout_you_。I
swearwewon’t，"McTurkconcluded。"Badforthedisciplineoftheschool。Horridbad。"
"Well，"saidtheSergeant，gatheringupthetea—things，"knowin’whatIknowo’theyoungdev——gentlemenoftheCollege，I’mverygladto’earit。ButwhatamItotellthe’Ead？"
"Anythingyoujollywellplease，Foxy。Wearen’tthecriminals。"
TosaythattheHeadwasannoyedwhentheSergeantappearedafterdinnerwiththeday’scrime—sheetwouldbeputtingitmildly。
"Corkran，McTurk，andCo。，Isee。Boundsasusual。Hullo！Whatthedeuceisthis？
Suspicionofdrinking。Whosecharge？？"
"Mr。King’s，sir。Icaught’emoutofbounds，sir：atleastthatwas’owitlooked。
Butthere’salotbe’ind，sir。"TheSergeantwasevidentlytroubled。
"Goon，"saidtheHead。"Letushaveyourversion。"HeandtheSergeanthaddealtwithoneanotherforsomesevenyears；andtheHeadknewthatMr。King’sstatementsdependedverylargelyonMr。King’stemper。
"Ithoughttheywereoutofboundsalongthecliffs。Butitcomeouttheywasn’t，sir。IsawthemgointoColonelDabney’swoods，and——Mr。KingandMr。Proutcomealong——andthefactwas，sir，wewasmistookforpoachersbyColonelDabney’speople——Mr。KingandMr。Proutandme。Thereweresomewords，sir，onbothsides。
Theyounggentlemenslipped’omesomehow，andtheyseemed’ighlyhumorous，sir。Mr。
KingwasmistookbyColonelDabneyhimself——ColonelDabneybein’strict。Thentheypreferredtocomestraighttoyou，sir，onaccountofwhat——whatMr。Kingmay’avesaidabouttheir’abitsafterwardsinMr。Prout’sstudy。Ionlysaidtheywas’ighlyhumorous，laughin’an’gigglin’，an’abitabove’emselves。They’vesincetoldme，sir，inahumorousway，thattheywasinvitedbyColonelDabneytogointo’iswoods。"
"Isee。Theydidn’ttelltheirhouse—masterthat，ofcourse？"
"TheytookupMr。Kingonappealjustassoonashespokeabouttheir——’abits。Putintheappealatonce，sir，an’askedtobesenttothedormitorywaitin’foryou。
I’vesincegathered，sir，intheirhumorousway，sir，thatsome’oworotherthey’ve’eardabouteverywordColonelDabneysaidtoMr。KingandMr。Proutwhenhemistook’emforpoachers。I——Imightha’knownwhentheyledmeonsothatthey’eldtheinnerlineofcommunications。It’s——it’saplaindo，sir，ifyouaskme；an’they’reg]oatin’overitinthedormitory。"
TheHeadsaw——saweventotheuttermostfarthing——andhismouthtwitchedalittleunderhismustache。
"Sendthemtomeatonce，Sergeant。Thiscaseneedn’twaitover。"
"Goodevening，"saidhewhenthethreeappearedunderescort。"Iwantyourundividedattentionforafewminutes。You’veknownmeforfiveyears，andI’veknownyoufor——twenty—five。Ithinkweunderstandoneanotherperfectly。Iamnowgoingtopayyouatremendouscompliment（thebrownone，please，Sergeant。Thanks。Youneedn’twait）。I’mgoingtoexecuteyouwithoutrhyme，Beetle，orreason。IknowyouwenttoColonelDabney’scoversbecauseyouwereinvited。I’mnotevengoingtosendtheSergeantwithanotetoaskifyourstatementistrue；becauseIamconvincedthatonthisoccasionyouhaveadheredstrictlytothetruth。Iknow，too，thatyouwerenotdrinking。（Youcantakeoffthatvirtuousexpression，McTurk，orIshallbegintofearyoudon’tunderstandme。）Thereisnotaflawinanyofyourcharacters。AndthatiswhyIamgoingtoperpetrateahowlinginjustice。Yourreputationshavebeeninjured，haven’tthey？Youhavebeendisgracedbeforethehouse，haven’tyou？Youhaveapeculiarlykeenregardforthehonorofyourhouse，haven’tyou？Well，nowI
amgoingtolickyou。"
Sixapiecewastheirportionuponthatword。
"AndthisIthink"——theHeadreplacedthecane，andflungthewrittenchargeintothewaste—paperbasket——"coversthesituation。Whenyoufindavariationfromthenormal——thiswillbeusefultoyouinlaterlife——alwaysmeethiminanabnormalway。Andthatremindsme。Thereareapileofpaper—backsonthatshelf。Youcanborrowthemifyouputthemback。Idon’tthinkthey’lltakeanyharmfrombeingreadintheopen。Theysmelloftobaccorather。Youwillgotoprep。thiseveningasusual。Good—night，"saidthatamazingman。
"Good—night，andthankyou，sir。"
"IswearI’llprayfortheHeadto—night，"saidBeetle。"Thoselasttwocutswerejustflicksonmycollar。There’sa’MonteCristo’inthatlowershelf。Isawit。
BagsI，nexttimewegotoAves！"
"Dearrman！"saidMcTurk。"Nogating。Noimpots。Nobeastlyquestions。Allsettled。
Hullo！what’sKinggoin’intohimfor——KingandProut？"
Whateverthenatureofthatinterview，itdidnotimproveeitherKing’sorProut’sruffledplumes，for，whentheycameoutoftheHead’shouse，eyesnotedthattheonewasredandbluewithemotionastohisnose，andthattheotherwassweatingprofusely。ThatsightcompensatedthemamplyfortheImperialJawwithwhichtheywerefavoredbythetwo。Itseems——andwhosoastonishedasthey？——thattheyhadheldbackmaterialfacts；wereguiltybothof_suppressio_veri_and_suggestio_falsi_（well—knowngodsagainstwhomtheyoftenoffended）；further，thattheyweremalignantintheirdispositions，untrustworthyintheircharacters，perniciousandrevolutionaryintheirinfluences，abandonedtothedevilsofwilfulness，pride，andamostintolerableconceit。Ninthly，andlastly，theyweretohaveacareandtobeverycareful。
Theywerecareful，asonlyboyscanbewhenthereisahurttobeinflicted。TheywaitedthroughonesuffocatingweektillProutandKingweretheirroyalselvesagain；waitedtilltherewasahouse—match——theirownhouse，too——inwhichProutwastakingpart；waited，further，tillhehadhispadsinthepavilionandstoodreadytogoforth。Kingwasscoringatthewindow，andthethreesatonabenchwithout。
SaidStalkytoBeetle："Isay，Beetle，_quis_custodet_ipsos_custodes_？"
"Don’taskme，"saidBeetle。"I’llhavenothin’privatewithyou。Yecanbeasprivateasyepleasetheotherendofthebench；andIwishyeaverygoodafternoon。"
McTurkyawned。
"Well，yeshouldha’comeuptothelodgelikeChristiansinsteado’chasin’
your——a—hem——boysthroughthelengthan’breadthofmycovers。_I_thinkthesehouse—matchesareallrot。Let’sgoovertoColonelDabney’san’seeifhe’scollaredanymorepoachers。"
ThatafternoontherewasjoyinAves。
SLAVESOFTHELAMP
Themusic—roomonthetopfloorofNumberFivewasfilledwiththe"Aladdin"companyatrehearsal。DicksonQuartus，commonlyknownasDickFour，wasAladdin，stage—manager，ballet—master，halftheorchestra，andlargelylibrettist，forthe"book"hadbeenrewrittenandfilledwithlocalallusions。Thepantomimewastobegivennextweek，inthedown—stairsstudyoccupiedbyAladdin，Abanazar，andtheEmperorofChina。TheSlaveoftheLamp，withthePrincessBadroulbadourandtheWidowTwankay，ownedNumberFivestudyacrossthesamelanding，sothatthecompanycouldbeeasilyassembled。Thefloorshooktothestamp—and—gooftheballet，whileAladdin，inpinkcottontights，ablueandtinseljacket，andaplumedhat，bangedalternatelyonthepianoandhisbanjo。Hewasthemovingspiritofthegame，asbefittedaseniorwhohadpassedhisArmyPreliminaryandhopedtoenterSandhurstnextspring。
Aladdincametohisownatlast，Abanazarlaypoisonedonthefloor，theWidowTwankaydancedherdance，andthecompanydecideditwould"comeallrightonthenight。"
"Whataboutthelastsong，though？"saidtheEmperor，atallish，fair—headedboywithaghostofamustache，atwhichhepulledmanfully。"Weneedarousingoldtune。"
"’JohnPeel’？’Drink，Puppy，Drink’？"suggestedAbanazar，smoothinghisbaggylilacpajamas。"Pussy"Abanazarneverlookedmorethanone—halfawake，butheownedasoft，slowsmilewhichwellsuitedthepartoftheWickedUncle。
"Stale，"saidAladdin。"Mightaswellhave’Grandfather’sClock。’What’sthatthingyouwerehummingatprep。lastnight，Stalky？"
Stalky，TheSlaveoftheLamp，inblacktightsanddoublet，ablacksilkhalf—maskonhisforehead，whistledlazilywherehelayonthetopofthepiano。Itwasacatchymusic—halltune。
DickFourcockedhisheadcritically，andsquinteddownalargerednose。
"Oncemore，andIcanpickitup，"hesaid，strumming。"Singthewords。"
"Arrah，Patsy，mindthebaby！Arrah，Patsy，mindthechild！
Wraphiminanovercoat，he’ssurelygoingwild！
Arrah，Patsy，mindthebaby！justyoumindthechildawhile！
He’llkickandbiteandcryallnight！Arrah，Patsy，mindthechild！"
"Rippin’！Oh，rippin’！"saidDickFour。"Onlyweshan’thaveanypianoonthenight。
Wemustworkitwiththebanjoes——playan’danceatthesametime。Youtry，Tertius。"
TheEmperorpushedasidehispea—greensleevesofstate，andfollowedDickFouronaheavynickelplatedbanjo。
"Yes，butI’mdeadallthistime。Bunginthemiddleofthestage，too，"saidAbanazar。
"Oh，that’sBeetle’sbiznai，"saidDickFour。"Vampitup，Beetle。Don’tkeepuswaitingallnight。You’vegottogetPussyoutofthelightsomehow，andbringusallindancin’attheend。"
"Allright。Youtwoplayitagain，"saidBeetle，who，inagrayskirtandawigofchestnutsausage—curls，setslantwiseaboveapairofspectaclesmendedwithanoldboot—lace，representedtheWidowTwankay。Hewavedonelegintimetothehammeredrefrain，andthebanjoesgrewlouder。
"Um！Ah！Er——’Aladdinnowhaswonhiswife，’"hesang，andDickFourrepeatedit。
"’YourEmperorisappeased。’"Tertiusflungouthischestashedeliveredhisline。
"Nowjumpup，Pussy！Say，’IthinkI’dbettercometolife！"Thenwealltakehandsandcomeforward：’Wehopeyou’veallbeenpleased。’_Twiggez—vous_？"
"_Nous_twiggons_。Goodenough。What’sthechorusforthefinalballet？It’sfourkicksandaturn，"saidDickFour。
"Oh！Er！
JohnShortwillringthecurtaindown。
Andringtheprompter’sbell；
WehopeyouknowbeforeyougoThatweallwishyouwell。"
"Rippin’！Rippin’！NowfortheWidow’sscenewiththePrincess。Hurryup，Turkey。"
McTurk，inavioletsilkskirtandacoquettishblueturban，slouchedforwardasonethoroughlyashamedofhimself。TheSlaveoftheLampclimbeddownfromthepiano，anddispassionatelykickedhim。"Playup，Turkey，"hesaid；"thisisserious。"Buttherefellonthedoortheknockofauthority。IthappenedtobeKing，ingownandmortar—board，enjoyingaSaturdayeveningprowlbeforedinner。
"Lockeddoors！Lockeddoors！"hesnappedwithascowl。"What’sthemeaningofthis；
andwhat，mayIask，istheintentionofthis——thisepiceneattire？"
"Pantomime，sir。TheHeadgaveusleave，"saidAbanazar，astheonlymemberoftheSixthconcerned。DickFourstoodfirmintheconfidencebornofwell—fittingtights，butBeetlestrovetoeffacehimselfbehindthepiano。Agrayprincess—skirtborrowedfromaday—boy’smotherandaspottedcottonbodiceunsystematicallypaddedwithimposition—papermakeoneridiculous。AndinotherregardsBeetlehadabadconscience。
"Asusual！"sneeredKing。"Futilefooleryjustwhenyourcareers，suchastheymaybe，arehanginginthebalance。Isee！Ah，Isee！Theoldgangofcriminals——alliedforcesofdisorder——Corkran"——theSlaveoftheLampsmiledpolitely——"McTurk"——theIrishmanscowled——"and，ofcourse，theunspeakableBeetle，ourfriendGigadibs。"
Abanazar，theEmperor，andAladdinhadmoreorlessofcharacters，andKingpassedthemover。"Comeforth，myinkybuffoon，frombehindyonderinstrumentofmusic！Yousupply，Ipresume，thedoggerelforthisentertainment。Esteemyourselftobe，asitwere，apoet？"
"He’sfoundoneof’em，"thoughtBeetle，notingtheflushonKing’scheek—bone。
"Ihavejusthadthepleasureofreadinganeffusionofyourstomyaddress，I
believe——aneffusionintendedtorhyme。So——soyoudespiseme，MasterGigadibs，doyou？Iamquiteaware——youneednotexplain——thatitwasostensiblynotintendedformyedification。Ireaditwithlaughter——yes，withlaughter。Thesepaperpelletsofinkyboys——stillaboyweare，MasterGigadibs——donotdisturbmyequanimity。"
"Wonderwhichitwas，"thoughtBeetle。Hehadlaunchedmanylampoonsonanappreciativepubliceversincehediscoveredthatitwaspossibletoconveyreproofinrhyme。
Insignofhisunruffledcalm，KingproceededtotearBeetle，whomhecalledGigadibs，slowlyasunder。Fromhisuntiedshoestringstohismendedspectacles（thelifeofapoetatabigschoolishard）heheldhimuptothederisionofhisassociates——withtheusualresult。Hiswildflowersofspeech——Kinghadanunpleasanttongue———restoredhimtogoodhumoratthelast。HedrewaluridpictureofBeetle’slatterendasascurrilouspamphleteerdyinginanattic，scatteredafewcomplimentsoverMcTurkandCorkran，and，remindingBeetlethathemustcomeupforjudgmentwhencalledupon，wenttoCommon—room，wherehetriumphedanewoverhisvictims。
"Andtheworstofit，"heexplainedinaloudvoiceoverhissoup，"isthatIwastesuchgemsofsarcasmontheirthickheads。It’smilesabovethem，I’mcertain。"
"We—ell，"saidtheschoolchaplainslowly，"Idon’tknowwhatCorkran’sappreciationofyourstylemaybe，butyoungMcTurkreadsRuskinforhisamusement。"
"Nonsense！Hedoesittoshowoff。ImistrustthedarkCelt。"
"Hedoesnothingofthekind。Iwentintotheirstudytheothernight，unofficially，andMcTurkwasgluingupthebackoffouroddnumbersof’ForsClavigera。’"
"Idon’tknowanythingabouttheirprivatelives，"saidamathematicalmasterhotly，"butI’velearnedbybitterexperiencethatNumberFivestudyarebestleftalone。
Theyareutterlysoullessyoungdevils。"
Heblushedastheotherslaughed。
Butinthemusic—roomtherewerewrathandbadlanguage。OnlyStalky，SlaveoftheLamp，layonthepianounmoved。
"ThatlittleswineMandersminermusthaveshownhimyourstuff。He’salwayssuckin’
uptoKing。Goandkillhim，"hedrawled。"Whichonewasit，Beetle？"
"Dunno，"saidBeetle，strugglingoutoftheskirt。"Therewasoneabouthishuntingforpopularitywiththesmallboys，andtheotheronewasoneabouthiminhell，tellin’theDevilhewasaBalliolman。Iswearbothof’emrhymedallright。Bygum！P’rapsMandersminorshowedhimboth！_I’ll_correcthiscaesurasforhim。"
Hedisappeareddowntwoflightsofstairs，flushedasmallpinkandwhiteboyinaform—roomnextdoortoKing’sstudy，which，again，wasimmediatelybelowhisown，andchasedhimupthecorridorintoaform—roomsacredtotherevelsoftheLowerThird。Thencehecameback，greatlydisordered，tofindMcTurk，Stalky，andtheothersofthecompany，inhisstudyenjoyinganunlimited"brew"——coffee，cocoa，buns，newbreadhotandsteaming，sardine，sausage，ham—and—tonguepaste，pilchards，threejams，andatleastasmanypoundsofDevonshirecream。
"Myhat！"saidhe，throwinghimselfuponthebanquet。"Whostumpedupforthis，Stalky？"Itwaswithinamonthoftermend，andblankstarvationhadreignedinthestudiesforweeks。
"You，"saidStalky，serenely。
"Confoundyou！Youhaven’tbeenpoppingmySundaybags，then？"
"Keepyourhairon。It’sonlyyourwatch。"
"Watch！Ilostit——weeksago。OutontheBurrows，whenwetriedtoshoottheoldram——thedayourpistolburst。"
"Itdroppedoutofyourpocket（you’resobeastlycareless，Beetle），andMcTurkandIkeptitforyou。I’vebeenwearingitforaweek，andyounevernoticed。TookitintoBidefordafterdinnerto—day。Gotthirteenandsevenpence。Here’stheticket。"
"Well，that’sprettyaveragecool，"saidAbanazarbehindaslabofcreamandjam，asBeetle，reassureduponthesafetyofhisSundaytrousers，showednotevensurprise，muchlessresentment。Indeed，itwasMcTurkwhogrewangry，saying：
"Yougavehimtheticket，Stalky？Youpawnedit？Youunmitigatedbeast！Why，lastmonthyouandBeetlesoldmine！’Nevergotasniffofanyticket。"
"Ah，thatwasbecauseyoulockedyourtrunk，andwewastedhalftheafternoonhammeringitopen。Wemighthavepawneditifyou’dbehavedlikeaChristian，Turkey。"
"MyAunt！"saidAbanazar，"youchapsarecommunists。VoteofthankstoBeetle，though。"
"That’sbeastlyunfair，"saidStalky，"whenItookallthetroubletopawnit。
Beetleneverknewhehadawatch。Oh，Isay，Rabbits—EggsgavemealiftintoBidefordthisafternoon。"
Rabbits—Eggswasthelocalcarrier——anoutcropoftheearlyDevonianformation。ItwasStalkywhohadinventedhisunlovelyname。"Hewasprettyaveragedrunk，orhewouldn’thavedoneit。Rabbits—Eggsisalittleshyofme，somehow。ButIsworeitwas_pax_betweenus，andgavehimabob。Hestoppedattwopubsonthewayin，sohe’llbehowlingdrunkto—night。Oh，don’tbeginreading，Beetle；there’sacouncilofwaron。Whatthedeuceisthematterwithyourcollar？"
"’ChiviedMandersminorintotheLowerThirdbox—room。’Hadallhisbeastlylittlefriendsontopofme，"saidBeetlefrombehindajarofpilchardsandabook。
"Youass！AnyfoolcouldhavetoldyouwhereManderswouldbunkto，"saidMcTurk。
"Ididn’tthink，"saidBeetle，meekly，scoopingoutpilchardswithaspoon。
"Courseyoudidn’t。Youneverdo。"McTurkadjustedBeetle’scollarwithasavagetug。"Don’tdropoilallovermy’Fors’orI’llscragyou！"
"Shutup，you——youIrishBiddy！’Tisn’tyourbeastly’Fors。’It’soneofmine。"
Thebookwasafat，brown—backedvolumeofthelaterSixties，whichKinghadoncethrownatBeetle’sheadthatBeetlemightseewhencethenameGigadibscame。Beetlehadquietlyannexedthebook，andhadseen——severalthings。Thequarter—comprehendedverseslivedandatewithhim，asthebedroppedpagesshowed。Heremovedhimselffromallthatworld，driftingatlargewithwondrousMenandWomen，tillMcTurkhammeredthepilchardspoononhisheadandhesnarled。
"Beetle！You’reoppressedandinsultedandbulliedbyKing。Don’tyoufeelit？"
"Letmealone！IcanwritesomemorepoetryabouthimifIam，Isuppose。"
"Mad！Quitemad！"saidStalkytothevisitors，asoneexhibitingstrangebeasts。
"BeetlereadsanasscalledBrownin’，andMcTurkreadsanasscalledRuskin；and——"
"Ruskinisn’tanass，"saidMcTurk。"He’salmostasgoodastheOpiumEater。Hesays’we’rechildrenofnobleracestrainedbysurroundingart。’Thatmeans_me_，andthewayIdecoratedthestudywhenyoutwobadgerswouldhavestuckupbracketsandChristmascards。Childofanoblerace，trainedbysurroundingart，stopreading，orI’llshoveapilcharddownyourneck！"
"It’stwotoone，"saidStalky，warningly，andBeetleclosedthebook，inobediencetothelawunderwhichheandhiscompanionshadlivedforsixcheckeredyears。
Thevisitorslookedondelighted。NumberFivestudyhadareputationformorevariegatedinsanitythantherestoftheschoolputtogether；andsofarasitscodeallowedfriendshipwithoutsidersitwaspoliteandopen—heartedtoitsneighborsonthesamelanding。
"Whatrotdoyouwantnow？"saidBeetle。
"King！War！"saidMcTurk，jerkinghisheadtowardthewall，wherehungasmallwoodenWest—Africanwar—drum，agifttoMcTurkfromanavaluncle。
"Thenweshallbeturnedoutofthestudyagain，"saidBeetle，wholovedhisflesh—pots。"Masonturnedusoutfor——justwarblingonit。"MasonwasthemathematicalmasterwhohadtestifiedinCommon—room。
"Warbling？——OLord！"saidAbanazar。"Wecouldn’thearourselvesspeakinourstudywhenyouplayedtheinfernalthing。What’sthegoodofgettingturnedoutofyourstudy，anyhow？"
"Welivedintheform—roomsforaweek，too，"saidBeetle，tragically。"Anditwasbeastlycold。"
"Ye—es，butMason’sroomswerefilledwithratseverydaywewereout。Ittookhimaweektodrawtheinference，"saidMcTurk。"Heloathesrats。’Minuteheletusgobacktheratsstopped。Mason’salittleshyofusnow，buttherewasnoevidence。"
"Jollywelltherewasn’t，"saidStalky，"whenIgotoutontheroofanddroppedthebeastlythingsdownhischimney。But，lookhere——questionis，areourcharactersgoodenoughjustnowtostandastudyrow？"
"Nevermindmine，"saidBeetle。"KingswearsIhaven’tany。"
"I’mnotthinkingofyou，"Stalkyreturnedscornfully。"Youaren’tgoingupfortheArmy，youoldbat。Idon’twanttobeexpelled——andtheHead’sgettingrathershyofus，too。"
"Rot！"saidMcTurk。"TheHeadneverexpelsexceptforbeastlinessorstealing。ButI
forgot；youandStalky_are_thieves——regularburglars。"
Thevisitorsgasped，butStalkyinterpretedtheparablewithlargegrins。
"Well，youknow，thatlittlebeastMandersminorsawBeetleandmehammerin’
McTurk’strunkopeninthedormitorywhenwetookhiswatchlastmonth。OfcourseManderssneakedtoMason，andMasonsolemnlytookitupasacaseoftheft，togetevenwithusabouttherats。"
"ThatjustputMasonintoourgiddyhands，"saidMcTurk，blandly。"Wewerenicetohim，becausehewasanewmasterandwantedtowintheconfidenceoftheboys。’Pityhedrawsinferences，though。Stalkywenttohisstudyandpretendedtoblub，andtoldMasonhe’dleadanewlifeifMasonwouldlethimoffthistime，butMasonwouldn’t。’SaiditwashisdutytoreporthimtotheHead。"
"Vindictiveswine！"saidBeetle。"Itwasallthoserats！Then_I_blubbed，too，andStalkyconfessedthathe’dbeenathiefinregularpracticeforsixyears，eversincehecametotheschool；andthatI’dtaughthim——_a_la_Fagin。Masonturnedwhitewithjoy。Hethoughthehadusontoast。"
"Gorgeous！Gorgeous！"saidDickFour。"Weneverheardofthis。"
"’Coursenot。Masonkeptitjollyquiet。Hewrotedownallourstatementsonimpot—paper。Therewasn’tanythinghewouldn’tbelieve，"saidStalky。
"AndhandeditalluptotheHead，_with_anextemporeprayer。Ittookaboutfortypages，"saidBeetle。"Ihelpedhimalot。"
"Andthen，youcrazyidiots？"saidAbanazar。
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