CHAPTERII

Ican’thonestlysaythatwemademuchprogressatourfirstmeeting。ItwasBrown’sfault。Hewouldbeginbytellingusastoryaboutadog。Itwastheold，oldstoryofthedogwhohadbeeninthehabitofgoingeverymorningtoacertainbaker’sshopwithapennyinhismouth，inexchangeforwhichhealwaysreceivedapennybun。Oneday，thebaker，thinkinghewouldnotknowthedifference，triedtopalmoffuponthepooranimalaha’pennybun，whereuponthedogwalkedstraightoutsideandfetchedinapoliceman。Brownhadheardthischestnutforthefirsttimethatafternoon，andwasfullofit。ItisalwaysamysterytomewhereBrownhasbeenforthelasthundredyears。Hestopsyouinthestreetwith，"Oh，Imusttellyou！——suchacapitalstory！"Andhethereuponproceedstorelatetoyou，withmuchspiritandgusto，oneofNoah’sbestknownjokes，orsomestorythatRomulusmusthaveoriginallytoldtoRemus。OneofthesedayssomebodywilltellhimthehistoryofAdamandEve，andhewillthinkhehasgotholdofanewplot，andwillworkitupintoanovel。

Hegivesforththesehoaryantiquitiesaspersonalreminiscencesofhisown，or，atfurthest，asepisodesinthelifeofhissecondcousin。Therearecertainstrangeandmovingcatastrophesthatwouldseemeithertohaveoccurredto，ortohavebeenwitnessedby，nearlyeveryoneyoumeet。Inevercameacrossamanyetwhohadnotseensomeothermanjerkedoffthetopofanomnibusintoamud—

cart。HalfLondonmust，atonetimeoranother，havebeenjerkedoffomnibusesintomud—carts，andhavebeenfishedoutattheendofashovel。

Thenthereisthetaleoftheladywhosehusbandistakensuddenlyillonenightatanhotel。Sherushesdownstairs，andpreparesastiffmustardplastertoputonhim，andrunsupwithitagain。Inherexcitement，however，shechargesintothewrongroom，and，rollingdownthebedclothes，pressesitlovinglyuponthewrongman。

IhaveheardthatstorysooftenthatIamquitenervousaboutgoingtobedinanhotelnow。Eachmanwhohastolditmehasinvariablysleptintheroomnextdoortothatofthevictim，andhasbeenawakenedbytheman’syellastheplastercamedownuponhim。Thatishowhe（thestory—teller）cametoknowallaboutit。

Brownwantedustobelievethatthisprehistoricanimalhehadbeentellingusabouthadbelongedtohisbrother—in—law，andwashurtwhenJephsonmurmured，sottovoce，thatthatmadethetwenty—eighthmanhehadmetwhosebrother—in—lawhadownedthatdog——tosaynothingofthehundredandseventeenwhohadowneditthemselves。

Wetriedtogettoworkafterwards，butBrownhadunsettledusfortheevening。Itisawickedthingtostartdogstoriesamongapartyofaveragesinfulmen。Letonemantelladogstory，andeveryothermanintheroomfeelshewantstotellabiggerone。

Thereisastorygoing——Icannotvouchforitstruth，itwastoldmebyajudge——ofamanwholaydying。Thepastoroftheparish，agoodandpiousman，cametositwithhim，and，thinkingtocheerhimup，toldhimananecdoteaboutadog。Whenthepastorhadfinished，thesickmansatup，andsaid，"Iknowabetterstorythanthat。I

hadadogonce，abig，brown，lop—sided——"

Theefforthadprovedtoomuchforhisstrength。Hefellbackuponthepillows，andthedoctor，steppingforward，sawthatitwasaquestiononlyofminutes。

Thegoodoldpastorrose，andtookthepoorfellow’shandinhis，andpressedit。"Weshallmeetagain，"hegentlysaid。

Thesickmanturnedtowardshimwithaconsoledandgratefullook。

"I’mgladtohearyousaythat，"hefeeblymurmured。"Remindmeaboutthatdog。"

Thenhepassedpeacefullyaway，withasweetsmileuponhispalelips。

Brown，whohadhadhisdogstoryandwassatisfied，wantedustosettleourheroine；buttherestofusdidnotfeelequaltosettlinganybodyjustthen。Wewerethinkingofallthetruedogstorieswehadeverheard，andwonderingwhichwastheoneleastlikelytobegenerallydisbelieved。

MacShaughnassy，inparticular，wasgrowingeverymomentmorerestlessandmoody。Brownconcludedalongdiscourse——towhichnobodyhadlistened——byremarkingwithsomepride，"Whatmorecanyouwant？Theplothasneverbeenusedbefore，andthecharactersareentirelyoriginal！"

ThenMacShaughnassygaveway。"Talkingofplots，"hesaid，hitchinghischairalittlenearerthetable，"thatputsmeinmind。DidI

evertellyouaboutthatdogwehadwhenwelivedinNorwood？"

"It’snotthatoneaboutthebull—dog，isit？"queriedJephsonanxiously。

"Well，itwasabull—dog，"admittedMacShaughnassy，"butIdon’tthinkI’veevertoldityoubefore。"

Weknew，byexperience，thattoarguethematterwouldonlyprolongthetorture，sowelethimgoon。

"Agreatmanyburglarieshadlatelytakenplaceinourneighbourhood，"hebegan，"andthepatercametotheconclusionthatitwastimehelaiddownadog。Hethoughtabull—dogwouldbethebestforhispurpose，andhepurchasedthemostsavageandmurderous—lookingspecimenthathecouldfind。

"Mymotherwasalarmedwhenshesawthedog。’Surelyyou’renotgoingtoletthatbrutelooseaboutthehouse！’sheexclaimed。

’He’llkillsomebody。Icanseeitinhisface。’

"’Iwanthimtokillsomebody，’repliedmyfather；’Iwanthimtokillburglars。’

"’Idon’tliketohearyoutalklikethat，Thomas，’answeredthemater；’it’snotlikeyou。We’vearighttoprotectourproperty，butwe’venorighttotakeafellowhumancreature’slife。’

"’Ourfellowhumancreatureswillbeallright——solongastheydon’tcomeintoourkitchenwhenthey’venobusinessthere，’

retortedmyfather，somewhattestily。’I’mgoingtofixupthisdoginthescullery，andifaburglarcomesfoolingaround——well，that’sHISaffair。’

"Theoldfolksquarrelledonandoffforaboutamonthoverthisdog。Thedadthoughtthematerabsurdlysentimental，andthematerthoughtthedadunnecessarilyvindictive。Meanwhilethedoggrewmoreferocious—lookingeveryday。

"Onenightmymotherwokemyfatherupwith：’Thomas，there’saburglardownstairs，I’mpositive。Idistinctlyheardthekitchendooropen。’

"’Oh，well，thedog’sgothimbynow，then，’murmuredmyfather，whohadheardnothing，andwassleepy。

"’Thomas，’repliedmymotherseverely，’I’mnotgoingtolieherewhileafellow—creatureisbeingmurderedbyasavagebeast。Ifyouwon’tgodownandsavethatman’slife，Iwill。’

"’Oh，bother，’saidmyfather，preparingtogetup。’You’realwaysfancyingyouhearnoises。Ibelievethat’sallyouwomencometobedfor——tositupandlistenforburglars。’Justtosatisfyher，however，hepulledonhistrousersandsocks，andwentdown。

"Well，sureenough，mymotherwasright，thistime。ThereWASaburglarinthehouse。Thepantrywindowstoodopen，andalightwasshininginthekitchen。Myfathercreptsoftlyforward，andpeepedthroughthepartlyopendoor。Theresattheburglar，eatingcoldbeefandpickles，andthere，besidehim，onthefloor，gazingupintohisfacewithablood—curdlingsmileofaffection，satthatidiotofadog，wagginghistail。

"Myfatherwassotakenabackthatheforgottokeepsilent。

"’Well，I’m——，’andheusedawordthatIshouldnotcaretorepeattoyoufellows。

"Theburglar，hearinghim，madeadash，andgotclearoffbythewindow；andthedogseemedvexedwithmyfatherforhavingdrivenhimaway。

"Nextmorningwetookthedogbacktothetrainerfromwhomwehadboughtit。

"’WhatdoyouthinkIwantedthisdogfor？’askedmyfather，tryingtospeakcalmly。

"’Well，’repliedthetrainer，’yousaidyouwantedagoodhousedog。’

"’Exactlyso，’answeredthedad。’Ididn’taskforaburglar’scompanion，didI？Ididn’tsayIwantedadogwho’dchumonwithaburglarthefirsttimeheevercametothehouse，andsitwithhimwhilehehadsupper，incasehemightfeellonesome，didI？’Andmyfatherrecountedtheincidentsofthepreviousnight。

"Themanagreedthattherewascauseforcomplaint。’I’lltellyouwhatitis，sir，’hesaid。’ItwasmyboyJimastrainedthis’eredawg，andIguesstheyoungbeggar’staught’immoreabouttacklingratsthanburglars。Youleave’imwithmeforaweek，sir；I’llputthatallright。’

"Wedidso，andattheendofthetimethetrainerbroughthimbackagain。

"’You’llfind’imgameenoughnow，sir，’saidtheman。’’Eain’twhatIcallanintellectualdawg，butIthinkI’veknockedtherightideainto’im。’

"Myfatherthoughthe’dliketotestthematter，sowehiredamanforashillingtobreakinthroughthekitchenwindowwhilethetrainerheldthedogbyachain。Thedogremainedperfectlyquietuntilthemanwasfairlyinside。Thenhemadeonesavagespringathim，andifthechainhadnotbeenstoutthefellowwouldhaveearnedhisshillingdearly。

"Thedadwassatisfiednowthathecouldgotobedinpeace；andthemater’salarmforthesafetyofthelocalburglarswasproportionatelyincreased。

"Monthspasseduneventfullyby，andthenanotherburglarsampledourhouse。Thistimetherecouldbenodoubtthatthedogwasdoingsomethingforhisliving。Thedininthebasementwasterrific。

Thehouseshookwiththeconcussionoffallingbodies。

"Myfathersnatcheduphisrevolverandrusheddownstairs，andI

followedhim。Thekitchenwasinconfusion。Tablesandchairswereoverturned，andonthefloorlayamangurglingforhelp。Thedogwasstandingoverhim，chokinghim。

"Thepaterheldhisrevolvertotheman’sear，whileI，bysuperhumaneffort，draggedourpreserveraway，andchainedhimuptothesink，afterwhichIlitthegas。

"Thenweperceivedthatthegentlemanonthefloorwasapoliceconstable。

"’Goodheavens！’exclaimedmyfather，droppingtherevolver，’howeverdidyoucomehere？’

"’’OwdidIcome’ere？’retortedtheman，sittingupandspeakinginatoneofbitter，butnotunnatural，indignation。’Why，inthecourseofmydooty，that’s’owIcome’ere。Iseeaburglargettinginthroughthewindow，soIjustfollowsandslipsinafter’im。’

"’Didyoucatchhim？’askedmyfather。

"’DidIcatch’im！’almostshriekedtheman。"OwcouldIcatch’imwiththatblasteddogofyours’oldingmedownbythethroat，while’elights’ispipeandwalksoutbythebackdoor？’

"Thedogwasforsalethenextday。Themater，whohadgrowntolikehim，becauseheletthebabypullhistail，wantedustokeephim。Themistake，shesaid，wasnottheanimal’sfault。Twomenbrokeintothehousealmostatthesametime。Thedogcouldnotgoforbothofthem。Hedidhisbest，andwentforone。Thathisselectionshouldhavefallenuponthepolicemaninsteadofupontheburglarwasunfortunate。Butstillitwasathingthatmighthavehappenedtoanydog。

"Myfather，however，hadbecomeprejudicedagainstthepoorcreature，andthatsameweekheinsertedanadvertisementinTheField，inwhichtheanimalwasrecommendedasaninvestmentlikelytoproveusefultoanyenterprisingmemberofthecriminalclasses。"

MacShaughnassyhavinghadhisinnings，Jephsontookaturn，andtoldusapatheticstoryaboutanunfortunatemongrelthatwasrunoverintheStrandonedayanditslegbroken。Amedicalstudent，whowaspassingatthetime，pickeditupandcarriedittotheCharingCrossHospital，whereitslegwasset，andwhereitwaskeptandtendeduntilitwasquiteitselfagain，whenitwassenthome。

Thepoorthinghadquiteunderstoodwhatwasbeingdoneforit，andhadbeenthemostgratefulpatienttheyhadeverhadinthehospital。Thewholestaffwerequitesorrywhenitleft。

Onemorning，aweekortwolater，thehouse—surgeon，lookingoutofthewindow，sawthedogcomingdownthestreet。Whenitcamenearhenoticedthatithadapennyinitsmouth。Acat’s—meatbarrowwasstandingbythekerb，andforamoment，ashepassedit，thedoghesitated。

Buthisnoblernatureasserteditself，and，walkingstraightuptothehospitalrailings，andraisinghimselfuponhishindlegs，hedroppedhispennyintothecontributionbox。

MacShaughnassywasmuchaffectedbythisstory。Hesaiditshowedsuchabeautifultraitinthedog’scharacter。Theanimalwasapooroutcast，vagrantthing，thathadperhapsneverpossessedapennybeforeinallitslife，andmightneverhaveanother。Hesaidthatdog’spennyseemedtohimtobeagreatergiftthanthebiggestchequethatthewealthiestpatroneversigned。

Theotherthreewereveryeagernowtogettoworkonthenovel，butIdidnotquiteseethefairnessofthis。Ihadoneortwodogstoriesofmyown。

Iknewablack—and—tanterrieryearsago。Helodgedinthesamehousewithme。Hedidnotbelongtoanyone。Hehaddischargedhisowner（if，indeed，hehadeverpermittedhimselftopossessone，whichisdoubtful，havingregardtohisaggressivelyindependentcharacter），andwasnowrunninghimselfentirelyonhisownaccount。

Heappropriatedthefronthallforhissleeping—apartment，andtookhismealswiththeotherlodgers——whenevertheyhappenedtobehavingmeals。

Atfiveo’clockhewouldtakeanearlymorningsnackwithyoungHollis，anengineer’spupil，whohadtogetupathalf—pastfourandmakehisowncoffee，soastobedownattheworksbysix。Ateight—thirtyhewouldbreakfastinamoresensiblefashionwithMr。

Blair，onthefirstfloor，andonoccasionswouldjoinJackGadbut，whowasalateriser，inadevilledkidneyateleven。

Fromthentillaboutfive，whenIgenerallyhadacupofteaandachop，heregularlydisappeared。Wherehewentandwhathedidbetweenthosehoursnobodyeverknew。Gadbutsworethattwicehehadmethimcomingoutofastockbroker’sofficeinThreadneedleStreet，and，improbablethoughthestatementatfirstappeared，somecolourofcredibilitybegantoattachtoitwhenwereflecteduponthedog’sinordinatepassionforacquiringandhoardingcoppers。

Thiscravingofhisforwealthwasreallyquiteremarkable。Hewasanelderlydog，withagreatsenseofhisowndignity；yet，onthepromiseofapenny，Ihaveseenhimrunroundafterhisowntailuntilhedidn’tknowoneendofhimselffromtheother。

Heusedtoteachhimselftricks，andgofromroomtoroomintheevening，performingthem，andwhenhehadcompletedhisprogrammehewouldsitupandbeg。Allthefellowsusedtohumourhim。Hemusthavemadepoundsinthecourseoftheyear。

Once，justoutsideourdoor，Isawhimstandinginacrowd，watchingaperformingpoodleattachedtoahurdy—gurdy。Thepoodlestoodonhishead，andthen，withhishindlegsintheair，walkedroundonhisfrontpaws。Thepeoplelaughedverymuch，and，whenafterwardshecameamongstthemwithhiswoodensaucerinhismouth，theygavefreely。

Ourdogcameinandimmediatelycommencedtostudy。InthreedaysHEcouldstandonhisheadandwalkroundonhisfrontlegs，andthefirsteveninghedidsohemadesixpence。Itmusthavebeenterriblyhardworkforhimathisage，andsubjecttorheumatismashewas；buthewoulddoanythingformoney。Ibelievehewouldhavesoldhimselftothedevilforeightpencedown。

Heknewthevalueofmoney。Ifyouheldouttohimapennyinonehandandathreepenny—bitintheother，hewouldsnatchatthethreepence，andthenbreakhisheartbecausehecouldnotgetthepennyinaswell。Youmightsafelyhavelefthimintheroomwithalegofmutton，butitwouldnothavebeenwisetoleaveyourpurseabout。

Nowandthenhespentalittle，butnotoften。Hewasdesperatelyfondofsponge—cakes，andoccasionally，whenhehadhadagoodweek，hewouldindulgehimselftotheextentofoneortwo。Buthehatedpayingforthem，andalwaysmadeafranticandfrequentlysuccessfulefforttogetoffwiththecakeandthepennyalso。Hisplanofoperationswassimple。Hewouldwalkintotheshopwithhispennyinhismouth，welldisplayed，andasweetandlamblikeexpressioninhiseyes。Takinghisstandasneartothecakesashecouldget，andfixinghiseyesaffectionatelyuponthem，hewouldbegintowhine，andtheshopkeeper，thinkinghewasdealingwithanhonestdog，wouldthrowhimone。

Togetthecakehewasobliged，ofcourse，todropthepenny，andthenbeganastrugglebetweenhimandtheshopkeeperforthepossessionofthecoin。Themanwouldtrytopickitup。Thedogwouldputhisfootuponit，andgrowlsavagely。Ifhecouldfinishthecakebeforethecontestwasover，hewouldsnapupthepennyandbolt。Ihaveknownhimtocomehomegorgedwithsponge—cakes，theoriginalpennystillinhismouth。

Sonotoriousthroughouttheneighbourhooddidthisdishonestpracticeofhisbecome，that，afteratime，themajorityofthelocaltradespeoplerefusedtoservehimatall。Onlytheexceptionallyquickandable—bodiedwouldattempttodobusinesswithhim。

Thenhetookhiscustomfurtherafield，intodistrictswherehisreputationhadnotyetpenetrated。Andhewouldpickoutshopskeptbynervousfemalesorrheumaticoldmen。

Theysaythattheloveofmoneyistherootofallevil。Itseemedtohaverobbedhimofeveryshredofprinciple。

Itrobbedhimofhislifeintheend，andthatcameaboutinthisway。HehadbeenperformingoneeveninginGadbut’sroom，whereafewofusweresittingsmokingandtalking；andyoungHollis，beinginagenerousmood，hadthrownhim，ashethought，asixpence。Thedoggrabbedit，andretiredunderthesofa。Thiswasanoddthingforhimtodo，andwecommenteduponit。SuddenlyathoughtoccurredtoHollis，andhetookouthismoneyandbegancountingit。

"ByJove，"heexclaimed，"I’vegiventhatlittlebeasthalf—a—

sovereign——here，Tiny！"

ButTinyonlybackedfurtherunderneaththesofa，andnomereverbalinvitationwouldinducehimtostir。Soweadoptedamorepressingplan，andcoaxedhimoutbythescruffofhisneck。

Hecame，aninchatatime，growlingviciously，andholdingHollis’shalf—sovereigntightbetweenhisteeth。Wetriedsweetreasonablenessatfirst。Weofferedhimasixpenceinexchange；helookedinsulted，andevidentlyconsideredtheproposalastantamounttoourcallinghimafool。Wemadeitashilling，thenhalf—a—

crown——heseemedonlyboredbyourpersistence。

"Idon’tthinkyou’lleverseethishalf—sovereignagain，Hollis，"

saidGadbut，laughing。Weall，withtheexceptionofyoungHollis，thoughttheaffairaverygoodjoke。He，onthecontrary，seemedannoyed，and，takingthedogfromGadbut，madeanattempttopullthecoinoutofitsmouth。

Tiny，truetohislife—longprincipleofneverpartingifhecouldpossiblyhelpit，heldonlikegrimdeath，until，feelingthathislittleearningswereslowlybutsurelygoingfromhim，hemadeonefinaldesperatesnatch，andswallowedthemoney。Itstuckinhisthroat，andhebegantochoke。

Thenwebecameseriouslyalarmedforthedog。Hewasanamusingchap，andwedidnotwantanyaccidenttohappentohim。Hollisrushedintohisroomandprocuredalongpairofpincers，andtherestofusheldthelittlemiserwhileHollistriedtorelievehimofthecauseofhissuffering。

ButpoorTinydidnotunderstandourintentions。Hestillthoughtwewereseekingtorobhimofhisnight’stakings，andresistedvehemently。Hisstrugglesfixedthecoinfirmer，and，inspiteofourefforts，hedied——onemorevictim，amongmany，tothefiercefeverforgold。

Idreamtaverycuriousdreamaboutrichesonce，thatmadeagreatimpressionuponme。IthoughtthatIandafriend——averydearfriend——werelivingtogetherinastrangeoldhouse。Idon’tthinkanybodyelsedweltinthehousebutjustwetwo。Oneday，wanderingaboutthisstrangeoldramblingplace，Idiscoveredthehiddendoorofasecretroom，andinthisroomweremanyiron—boundchests，andwhenIraisedtheheavylidsIsawthateachchestwasfullofgold。

And，whenIsawthis，Istoleoutsoftlyandclosedthehiddendoor，anddrewtheworntapestriesinfrontofitagain，andcreptbackalongthedimcorridor，lookingbehindme，fearfully。

AndthefriendthatIhadlovedcametowardsme，andwewalkedtogetherwithourhandsclasped。ButIhatedhim。

AndalldaylongIkeptbesidehim，orfollowedhimunseen，lestbychanceheshouldlearnthesecretofthathiddendoor；andatnightIlayawakewatchinghim。

ButonenightIsleep，and，whenIopenmyeyes，heisnolongernearme。Irunswiftlyupthenarrowstairsandalongthesilentcorridor。Thetapestryisdrawnaside，andthehiddendoorstandsopen，andintheroombeyondthefriendthatIlovediskneelingbeforeanopenchest，andtheglintofthegoldisinmyeyes。

Hisbackistowardsme，andIcrawlforwardinchbyinch。Ihaveaknifeinmyhand，withastrong，curvedblade；andwhenIamnearenoughIkillhimashekneelsthere。

Hisbodyfallsagainstthedoor，anditshutstowithaclang，andI

trytoopenit，andcannot。Ibeatmyhandsagainstitsironnails，andscream，andthedeadmangrinsatme。Thelightstreamsinthroughthechinkbeneaththemassivedoor，andfades，andcomesagain，andfadesagain，andIgnawattheoakenlidsoftheiron—

boundchests，forthemadnessofhungerisclimbingintomybrain。

ThenIawake，andfindthatIreallyamhungry，andrememberthatinconsequenceofaheadacheIdidnoteatanydinner。SoIsliponafewclothes，andgodowntothekitchenonaforagingexpedition。

Itissaidthatdreamsaremomentaryconglomerationsofthought，centringroundtheincidentthatawakensus，and，aswithmostscientificfacts，thisisoccasionallytrue。Thereisonedreamthat，withslightvariations，iscontinuallyrecurringtome。OverandoveragainIdreamthatIamsuddenlycalledupontoactanimportantpartinsomepieceattheLyceum。ThatpoorMr。Irvingshouldinvariablybethevictimseemsunfair，butreallyitisentirelyhisownfault。Itishewhopersuadesandurgesme。I

myselfwouldmuchprefertoremainquietlyinbed，andItellhimso。Butheinsistsonmygettingupatonceandcomingdowntothetheatre。IexplaintohimthatIcan’tactabit。Heseemstoconsiderthisunimportant，andsays，"Oh，thatwillbeallright。"

Weargueforawhile，buthemakesthematterquiteapersonalone，andtoobligehimandgethimoutofthebedroomIconsent，thoughmuchagainstmyownjudgment。Igenerallydressthecharacterinmynightshirt，thoughononeoccasion，forBanquo，Iworepyjamas，andIneverrememberasinglewordofwhatIoughttosay。HowIgetthroughIdonotknow。Irvingcomesupafterwardsandcongratulatesme，butwhetheruponthebrilliancyofmyperformance，oruponmyluckingettingoffthestagebeforeabrickbatisthrownatme，I

cannotsay。

WheneverIdreamthisincidentIinvariablywakeuptofindthatthebedclothesareonthefloor，andthatIamshiveringwithcold；anditisthisshivering，Isuppose，thatcausesmetodreamIamwanderingabouttheLyceumstageinnothingbutmynightshirt。ButstillIdonotunderstandwhyitshouldalwaysbetheLyceum。

AnotherdreamwhichIfancyIhavedreamtmorethanonce——or，ifnot，IhavedreamtthatIdreamtitbefore，athingonesometimesdoes——isoneinwhichIamwalkingdownaverywideandverylongroadintheEastEndofLondon。Itisacuriousroadtofindthere。

Omnibusesandtramspassupanddown，anditiscrowdedwithstallsandbarrows，besidewhichmeningreasycapsstandshouting；yetoneachsideitisborderedbyastripoftropicalforest。Theroad，infact，combinestheadvantagesofKewandWhitechapel。

Someoneiswithme，butIcannotseehim，andwewalkthroughtheforest，pushingourwayamongthetangledvinesthatclingaboutourfeet，andeverynowandthen，betweenthegianttree—trunks，wecatchglimpsesofthenoisystreet。

Attheendofthisroadthereisanarrowturning，andwhenIcometoitIamafraid，thoughIdonotknowwhyIamafraid。ItleadstoahousethatIoncelivedinwhenachild，andnowthereissomeonewaitingtherewhohassomethingtotellme。

Iturntorunaway。ABlackwall’busispassing，andItrytoovertakeit。Butthehorsesturnintoskeletonsandgallopawayfromme，andmyfeetarelikelead，andthethingthatiswithme，andthatIcannotsee，seizesmebythearmanddragsmeback。

Itforcesmealong，andintothehouse，andthedoorslamstobehindus，andthesoundechoesthroughthelifelessrooms。Irecognisetherooms；Ilaughedandcriedinthemlongago。Nothingischanged。Thechairsstandintheirplaces，empty。Mymother’sknittingliesuponthehearthrug，wherethekitten，Iremember，draggedit，somewherebackinthesixties。

Igoupintomyownlittleattic。Mycotstandsinthecorner，andmybrickslietumbledoutuponthefloor（Iwasalwaysanuntidychild）。Anoldmanenters——anold，bent，witheredman——holdingalampabovehishead，andIlookathisface，anditismyownface。

Andanotherenters，andhealsoismyself。Thenmoreandmore，tilltheroomisthrongedwithfaces，andthestair—waybeyond，andallthesilenthouse。Someofthefacesareoldandothersyoung，andsomearefairandsmileatme，andmanyarefoulandleeratme。

Andeveryfaceismyownface，butnotwoofthemarealike。

Idonotknowwhythesightofmyselfshouldalarmmeso，butIrushfromthehouseinterror，andthefacesfollowme；andIrunfasterandfaster，butIknowthatIshallneverleavethembehindme。

Asaruleoneistheheroofone’sowndreams，butattimesIhavedreamtadreamentirelyinthethirdperson——adreamwiththeincidentsofwhichIhavehadnoconnectionwhatever，exceptasanunseenandimpotentspectator。OneoftheseIhaveoftenthoughtaboutsince，wonderingifitcouldnotbeworkedupintoastory。

But，perhaps，itwouldbetoopainfulatheme。

IdreamtIsawawoman’sfaceamongathrong。Itisanevilface，butthereisastrangebeautyinit。Theflickeringgleamsthrownbystreetlampsflashdownuponit，showingthewonderofitsevilfairness。Thenthelightsgoout。

Iseeitnextinaplacethatisveryfaraway，anditisevenmorebeautifulthanbefore，fortheevilhasgoneoutofit。Anotherfaceislookingdownintoit，abright，pureface。Thefacesmeetandkiss，and，ashislipstouchhers，thebloodmountstohercheeksandbrow。Iseethetwofacesagain。ButIcannottellwheretheyareorhowlongatimehaspassed。Theman’sfacehasgrownalittleolder，butitisstillyoungandfair，andwhenthewoman’seyesrestuponittherecomesagloryintoherfacesothatitislikethefaceofanangel。Butattimesthewomanisalone，andthenIseetheoldevillookstrugglingback。

ThenIseeclearer。Iseetheroominwhichtheylive。Itisverypoor。Anold—fashionedpianostandsinonecorner，andbesideitisatableonwhichliescatteredatumbledmassofpapersroundanink—stand。Anemptychairwaitsbeforethetable。Thewomansitsbytheopenwindow。

Fromfarbelowthererisesthesoundofagreatcity。Itslightsthrowupfaintbeamsintothedarkroom。Thesmellofitsstreetsisinthewoman’snostrils。

Everynowandagainshelookstowardsthedoorandlistens：thenturnstotheopenwindow。AndInoticethateachtimeshelookstowardsthedoortheevilinherfaceshrinksback；buteachtimesheturnstothewindowitgrowsmorefierceandsullen。

Suddenlyshestartsup，andthereisaterrorinhereyesthatfrightensmeasIdream，andIseegreatbeadsofsweatuponherbrow。Then，veryslowly，herfacechanges，andIseeagaintheevilcreatureofthenight。Shewrapsaroundheranoldcloak，andcreepsout。Ihearherfootstepsgoingdownthestairs。Theygrowfainterandfainter。Ihearadooropen。Theroarofthestreetsrushesupintothehouse，andthewoman’sfootstepsareswallowedup。

Timedriftsonwardthroughmydream。Sceneschange，takeshape，andfade；butallisvagueandundefined，until，outofthedimness，therefashionsitselfalong，desertedstreet。Thelightsmakeglisteningcirclesonthewetpavement。Afigure，dressedingaudyrags，slinksby，keepingcloseagainstthewall。Itsbackistowardsme，andIdonotseeitsface。Anotherfigureglidesfromouttheshadows。Ilookuponitsface，andIseeitisthefacethatthewoman’seyesgazedupintoandworshippedlongago，whenmydreamwasjustbegun。Butthefairnessandthepurityaregonefromit，anditisoldandevil，asthewoman’swhenIlookeduponherlast。Thefigureinthegaudyragsmovesslowlyon。Thesecondfigurefollowsit，andovertakesit。Thetwopause，andspeaktooneanotherastheydrawnear。Thestreetisverydarkwheretheyhavemet，andthefigureinthegaudyragskeepsitsfacestillturnedaside。Theywalktogetherinsilence，tilltheycometowhereaflaringgas—lamphangsbeforeatavern；andtherethewomanturns，andIseethatitisthewomanofmydream。Andsheandthemanlookintoeachother’seyesoncemore。

InanotherdreamthatIremember，anangel（oradevil，Iamnotquitesurewhich）hascometoamanandtoldhimthatsolongashelovesnolivinghumanthing——solongasheneversuffershimselftofeelonetouchoftendernesstowardswifeorchild，towardskithorkin，towardsstrangerortowardsfriend，solongwillhesucceedandprosperinhisdealings——solongwillallthisworld’saffairsgowellwithhim；andhewillgroweachdayricherandgreaterandmorepowerful。Butifeverheletonekindlythoughtforlivingthingcomeintohisheart，inthatmomentallhisplansandschemeswilltoppledownabouthisears；andfromthathourhisnamewillbedespisedbymen，andthenforgotten。

Andthemantreasuresupthesewords，forheisanambitiousman，andwealthandfameandpowerarethesweetestthingsinalltheworldtohim。Awomanloveshimanddies，thirstingforalovinglookfromhim；children’sfootstepscreepintohislifeandstealawayagain，oldfacesfadeandnewonescomeandgo。

Butneverakindlytouchofhishandrestsonanylivingthing；

neverakindlywordcomesfromhislips；neverakindlythoughtspringsfromhisheart。Andinallhisdoingsfortunefavourshim。

Theyearspassby，andatlastthereislefttohimonlyonethingthatheneedfear——achild’ssmall，wistfulface。Thechildloveshim，asthewoman，longago，hadlovedhim，andhereyesfollowhimwithahungry，beseechinglook。Buthesetshisteeth，andturnsawayfromher。

Thelittlefacegrowsthin，andonedaytheycometohimwherehesitsbeforethekeyboardofhismanyenterprises，andtellhimsheisdying。Hecomesandstandsbesidethebed，andthechild’seyesopenandturntowardshim；and，ashedrawsnearer，herlittlearmsstretchouttowardshim，pleadingdumbly。Buttheman’sfaceneverchanges，andthelittlearmsfallfeeblybackuponthetumbledcoverlet，andthewistfuleyesgrowstill，andawomanstepssoftlyforward，anddrawsthelidsdownoverthem；thenthemangoesbacktohisplansandschemes。

Butinthenight，whenthegreathouseissilent，hestealsuptotheroomwherethechildstilllies，andpushesbackthewhite，unevensheet。

"Dead——dead，"hemutters。Thenhetakesthetinycorpseupinhisarms，andholdsittightagainsthisbreast，andkissesthecoldlips，andthecoldcheeks，andthelittle，cold，stiffhands。

Andatthatpointmystorybecomesimpossible，forIdreamthatthedeadchildliesalwaysbeneaththesheetinthatquietroom，andthatthelittlefaceneverchanges，northelimbsdecay。

Ipuzzleaboutthisforaninstant，butsoonforgettowonder；forwhentheDreamFairytellsustalesweareonlyaslittlechildren，sittingroundwithopeneyes，believingall，thoughmarvellingthatsuchthingsshouldbe。

Eachnight，whenallelseinthehousesleeps，thedoorofthatroomopensnoiselessly，andthemanentersandclosesitbehindhim。

Eachnighthedrawsawaythewhitesheet，andtakesthesmalldeadbodyinhisarms；andthroughthedarkhourshepacessoftlytoandfro，holdingitcloseagainsthisbreast，kissingitandcrooningtoit，likeamothertohersleepingbaby。

Whenthefirstrayofdawnpeepsintotheroom，helaysthedeadchildbackagain，andsmoothsthesheetaboveher，andstealsaway。

Andhesucceedsandprospersinallthings，andeachdayhegrowsricherandgreaterandmorepowerful。

CHAPTERIII

Wehadmuchtroublewithourheroine。Brownwantedherugly。

Brown’schiefambitioninlifeistobeoriginal，andhismethodofobtainingtheoriginalistotaketheunoriginalandturnitupsidedown。

IfBrownweregivenalittleplanetofhisowntodoashelikedwith，hewouldcallday，night，andsummer，winter。Hewouldmakeallhismenandwomenwalkontheirheadsandshakehandswiththeirfeet，histreeswouldgrowwiththeirrootsintheair，andtheoldcockwouldlayalltheeggswhilethehenssatonthefenceandcrowed。Thenhewouldstepbackandsay，"SeewhatanoriginalworldIhavecreated，entirelymyownidea！"

TherearemanyotherpeoplebesidesBrownwhosenotionoforiginalitywouldseemtobepreciselysimilar。

Iknowalittlegirl，thedescendantofalonglineofpoliticians。

Thehereditaryinstinctissostronglydevelopedinherthatsheisalmostincapableofthinkingforherself。Instead，shecopiesineverythinghereldersister，whotakesmoreafterthemother。Ifhersisterhastwohelpingsofricepuddingforsupper，thenshehastwohelpingsofricepudding。Ifhersisterisn’thungryanddoesn’twantanysupperatall，thenshegoestobedwithoutanysupper。

Thislackofcharacterinthechildtroubleshermother，whoisnotanadmirerofthepoliticalvirtues，andoneevening，takingthelittleoneonherlap，shetalkedseriouslytoher。

"Dotrytothinkforyourself，"saidshe。"Don’talwaysdojustwhatJessiedoes，that’ssilly。Haveanideaofyourownnowandthen。Bealittleoriginal。"

Thechildpromisedshe’dtry，andwenttobedthoughtful。

Nextmorning，forbreakfast，adishofkippersandadishofkidneyswereplacedonthetable，sidebyside。Nowthechildlovedkipperswithanaffectionthatamountedalmosttopassion，whilesheloathedkidneysworsethanpowders。Itwastheonesubjectonwhichshedidknowherownmind。

"Akidneyorakipperforyou，Jessie？"askedthemother，addressingtheelderchildfirst。

Jessiehesitatedforamoment，whilehersistersatregardingherinanagonyofsuspense。

"Kipper，please，ma，"Jessieansweredatlast，andtheyoungerchildturnedherheadawaytohidethetears。

"You’llhaveakipper，ofcourse，Trixy？"saidthemother，whohadnoticednothing。

"No，thankyou，ma，"saidthesmallheroine，stiflingasob，andspeakinginadry，tremulousvoice，"I’llhaveakidney。"

"ButIthoughtyoucouldn’tbearkidneys，"exclaimedhermother，surprised。

"No，ma，Idon’tlike’emmuch。"

"Andyou’resofondofkippers！"

"Yes，ma。"

"Well，then，whyonearthdon’tyouhaveone？"

"’CosJessie’sgoingtohaveone，andyoutoldmetobeoriginal，"

andherethepoormite，reflectinguponthepriceheroriginalitywasgoingtocosther，burstintotears。

TheotherthreeofusrefusedtosacrificeourselvesuponthealtarofBrown’soriginality。Wedecidedtobecontentwiththecustomarybeautifulgirl。

"Goodorbad？"queriedBrown。

"Bad，"respondedMacShaughnassyemphatically。"Whatdoyousay，Jephson？"

"Well，"repliedJephson，takingthepipefrombetweenhislips，andspeakinginthatsoothinglymelancholytoneofvoicethathenevervaries，whethertellingajokeaboutaweddingorananecdoterelatingtoafuneral，"notaltogetherbad。Bad，withgoodinstincts，thegoodinstinctswellundercontrol。"

"Iwonderwhyitis，"murmuredMacShaughnassyreflectively，"thatbadpeoplearesomuchmoreinterestingthangood。"

"Idon’tthinkthereasonisverydifficulttofind，"answeredJephson。"There’smoreuncertaintyaboutthem。Theykeepyoumoreonthealert。It’slikethedifferencebetweenridingawell—

broken，steady—goinghackandalivelyyoungcoltwithideasofhisown。Theoneiscomfortabletotravelon，buttheotherprovidesyouwithmoreexercise。Ifyoustartoffwithathoroughlygoodwomanforyourheroineyougiveyourstoryawayinthefirstchapter。Everybodyknowspreciselyhowshewillbehaveundereveryconceivablecombinationofcircumstancesinwhichyoucanplaceher。

Oneveryoccasionshewilldothesamething——thatistherightthing。

"Withabadheroine，ontheotherhand，youcanneverbequitesurewhatisgoingtohappen。Outofthefiftyorsocoursesopentoher，shemaytaketherightone，orshemaytakeoneoftheforty—

ninewrongones，andyouwatchherwithcuriositytoseewhichitwillbe。"

"Butsurelythereareplentyofgoodheroineswhoareinteresting，"

Isaid。

"Atintervals——whentheydosomethingwrong，"answeredJephson。"A

consistentlyirreproachableheroineisasirritatingasSocratesmusthavebeentoXantippe，orasthemodelboyatschoolistoalltheotherlads。Takethestockheroineoftheeighteenth—centuryromance。Shenevermetherloverexceptforthepurposeoftellinghimthatshecouldnotbehis，andshegenerallyweptsteadilythroughouttheinterview。Sheneverforgottoturnpaleatthesightofblood，nortofaintinhisarmsatthemostinconvenientmomentpossible。Shewasdeterminednevertomarrywithoutherfather’sconsent，andwasequallyresolvednevertomarryanybodybuttheoneparticularpersonshewasconvincedhewouldneveragreetohermarrying。Shewasanexcellentyoungwoman，andnearlyasuninterestingasacelebrityathome。"

"Ah，butyou’renottalkingaboutgoodwomennow，"Iobserved。

"You’retalkingaboutsomesillyperson’sideaofagoodwoman。"

"Iquiteadmitit，"repliedJephson。"Nor，indeed，amIpreparedtosaywhatisagoodwoman。Iconsiderthesubjecttoodeepandtoocomplicatedforanymerehumanbeingtogivejudgmentupon。ButI

AMtalkingofthewomenwhoconformedtothepopularideaofmaidenlygoodnessintheagewhenthesebookswerewritten。Youmustremembergoodnessisnotaknownquantity。Itvarieswitheveryageandeverylocality，anditis，generallyspeaking，your’sillypersons’whoareresponsibleforitsvaryingstandards。InJapan，a’good’girlwouldbeagirlwhowouldsellherhonourinordertoaffordlittleluxuriestoheragedparents。Incertainhospitableislandsofthetorridzonethe’good’wifegoestolengthsthatweshoulddeemaltogetherunnecessaryinmakingherhusband’sguestfeelhimselfathome。InancientHebraicdays，Jaelwasaccountedagoodwomanformurderingasleepingman，andSaraistoodinnodangeroflosingtherespectofherlittleworldwhensheledHagaruntoAbraham。Ineighteenth—centuryEngland，supernaturalstupidityanddulnessofadegreethatmusthavebeendifficulttoattain，wereheldtobefemininevirtues——indeed，theyaresostill——andauthors，whoarealwaysamongthemostservilefollowersofpublicopinion，fashionedtheirpuppetsaccordingly。

Nowadays’slumming’isthemostapplaudedvirtue，andsoallourbestheroinesgoslumming，andare’goodtothepoor。’"

"Howuseful’thepoor’are，"remarkedMacShaughnassy，somewhatabruptly，placinghisfeetonthemantelpiece，andtiltinghischairbacktillitstoodatananglethatcausedustorivetourattentionuponitwithhopefulinterest。"Idon’tthinkwescribblingfellowseverfullygrasphowmuchweoweto’thepoor。’Wherewouldourangelicheroinesandournoble—heartedheroesbeifitwerenotfor’thepoor’？Wewanttoshowthatthedeargirlisasgoodassheisbeautiful。Whatdowedo？Weputabasketfullofchickensandbottlesofwineonherarm，afetchinglittlesun—bonnetonherhead，andsendherroundamongthepoor。Howdoweprovethatourapparentscampofaheroisreallyanobleyoungmanatheart？Why，byexplainingthatheisgoodtothepoor。

"TheyareasusefulinreallifeastheyareinBookland。Whatisitconsolesthetradesmanwhentheactor，earningeightypoundsaweek，cannotpayhisdebts？Why，readinginthetheatricalnewspapersgushingaccountsofthedearfellow’sinvariablegenerositytothepoor。Whatisitstillsthesmallbutirritatingvoiceofconsciencewhenwehavesuccessfullyaccomplishedsomeextrabigfeatofswindling？Why，thenobleresolvetogivetenpercentofthenetprofitstothepoor。

"Whatdoesamandowhenhefindshimselfgrowingold，andfeelsthatitistimeforhimtothinkseriouslyaboutsecuringhispositioninthenextworld？Why，hebecomessuddenlygoodtothepoor。Ifthepoorwerenotthereforhimtobegoodto，whatcouldhedo？Hewouldbeunabletoreformatall。It’sagreatcomforttothinkthatthepoorwillalwaysbewithus。Theyaretheladderbywhichweclimbintoheaven。"

Therewassilenceforafewmoments，whileMacShaughnassypuffedawayvigorously，andalmostsavagely，athispipe，andthenBrownsaid："Icantellyouratheraquaintincident，bearingveryaptlyonthesubject。Acousinofminewasaland—agentinasmallcountrytown，andamongthehousesonhislistwasafineoldmansionthathadremainedvacantformanyyears。Hehaddespairedofeversellingit，whenonedayanelderlylady，veryrichlydressed，droveuptotheofficeandmadeinquiriesaboutit。Shesaidshehadcomeacrossitaccidentallywhiletravellingthroughthatpartofthecountrythepreviousautumn，andhadbeenmuchstruckbyitsbeautyandpicturesqueness。Sheaddedshewaslookingoutforsomequietspotwhereshecouldsettledownandpeacefullypasstheremainderofherdays，andthoughtthisplacemightpossiblyprovetobetheverythingforher。

"Mycousin，delightedwiththechanceofapurchaser，atoncedroveheracrosstotheestate，whichwasabouteightmilesdistantfromthetown，andtheywentoverittogether。Mycousinwaxedeloquentuponthesubjectofitsadvantages。Hedweltuponitsquietandseclusion，itsproximity——butnottoocloseproximity——tothechurch，itsconvenientdistancefromthevillage。

"Everythingpointedtoasatisfactoryconclusionofthebusiness。

Theladywascharmedwiththesituationandthesurroundings，anddelightedwiththehouseandgrounds。Sheconsideredthepricemoderate。

"’Andnow，Mr。Brown，’saidshe，astheystoodbythelodgegate，’tellme，whatclassofpoorhaveyougotroundabout？’

"’Poor？’answeredmycousin；’therearenopoor。’

"’Nopoor！’exclaimedthelady。’Nopoorpeopleinthevillage，oranywherenear？’

"’Youwon’tfindapoorpersonwithinfivemilesoftheestate，’herepliedproudly。’Yousee，mydearmadam，thisisathinlypopulatedandexceedinglyprosperouscounty：thisparticulardistrictespeciallyso。Thereisnotafamilyinitthatisnot，comparativelyspeaking，well—to—do。’

"’I’msorrytohearthat，’saidthelady，inatoneofdisappointment。’Theplacewouldhavesuitedmesoadmirablybutforthat。’

"’Butsurely，madam，’criedmycousin，towhomademandforpoorpersonswasanentirelynewidea，’youdon’tmeantosaythatyouWANTpoorpeople！Why，we’vealwaysconsidereditoneofthechiefattractionsoftheproperty——nothingtoshocktheeyeorwoundthesusceptibilitiesofthemosttender—heartedoccupant。’

"’MydearMr。Brown，’repliedthelady，’Iwillbeperfectlyfrankwithyou。Iambecominganoldwoman，andmypastlifehasnot，perhaps，beenaltogethertoowellspent。Itismydesiretoatoneforthe——er——folliesofmyyouthbyanoldageofwell—doing，andtothatenditisessentialthatIshouldbesurroundedbyacertainnumberofdeservingpoor。Ihadhopedtofindinthischarmingneighbourhoodofyoursthecustomaryproportionofpovertyandmisery，inwhichcaseIshouldhavetakenthehousewithouthesitation。Asitis，Imustseekelsewhere。’

"Mycousinwasperplexed，andsad。’Thereareplentyofpoorpeopleinthetown，’hesaid，’manyofthemmostinterestingcases，andyoucouldhavetheentirecareofthemall。There’dbenooppositionwhatever，I’mpositive。’

"’Thankyou，’repliedthelady，’butIreallycouldn’tgoasfarasthetown。Theymustbewithineasydrivingdistanceortheyarenogood。’

"Mycousincudgelledhisbrainsagain。Hedidnotintendtoletapurchaserslipthroughhisfingersifhecouldhelpit。Atlastabrightthoughtflashedintohismind。’I’lltellyouwhatwecoulddo，’hesaid。’There’sapieceofwastelandtheotherendofthevillagethatwe’veneverbeenabletodomuchwith，inconsequenceofitsbeingsoswampy。Ifyouliked，wecouldrunyouupadozencottagesonthat，cheap——itwouldbeallthebettertheirbeingabitramshackleandunhealthy——andgetsomepoorpeopleforyou，andputintothem。’

"Theladyreflectedupontheidea，anditstruckherasagoodone。

"’Yousee，’continuedmycousin，pushinghisadvantage，’byadoptingthismethodyouwouldbeabletoselectyourownpoor。Wewouldgetyousomenice，clean，gratefulpoor，andmakethethingpleasantforyou。’

"Itendedinthelady’sacceptingmycousin’soffer，andgivinghimalistofthepoorpeopleshewouldliketohave。Sheselectedonebedriddenoldwoman（ChurchofEnglandpreferred）；oneparalyticoldman；oneblindgirlwhowouldwanttobereadaloudto；onepooratheist，willingtobeconverted；twocripples；onedrunkenfatherwhowouldconsenttobetalkedtoseriously；onedisagreeableoldfellow，needingmuchpatience；twolargefamilies，andfourordinaryassortedcouples。

"Mycousinexperiencedsomedifficultyinsecuringthedrunkenfather。Mostofthedrunkenfathersheintervieweduponthesubjecthadarootedobjectiontobeingtalkedtoatall。Afteralongsearch，however，hediscoveredamildlittleman，who，uponthelady’srequirementsandcharitableintentionsbeingexplainedtohim，undertooktoqualifyhimselfforthevacancybygettingintoxicatedatleastonceaweek。Hesaidhecouldnotpromisemorethanonceaweekatfirst，heunfortunatelypossessingastrongnaturaldistasteforallalcoholicliquors，whichitwouldbenecessaryforhimtoovercome。Ashegotmoreusedtothem，hewoulddobetter。

"Overthedisagreeableoldman，mycousinalsohadtrouble。Itwashardtohittherightdegreeofdisagreeableness。Someofthemweresoveryunpleasant。Heeventuallymadechoiceofadecayedcab—

driverwithadvancedRadicalopinions，whoinsistedonathreeyears’contract。

"Theplanworkedexceedinglywell，anddoesso，mycousintellsme，tothisday。Thedrunkenfatherhascompletelyconqueredhisdisliketostrongdrink。Hehasnotbeensobernowforoverthreeweeks，andhaslatelytakentoknockinghiswifeabout。Thedisagreeablefellowismostconscientiousinfulfillinghispartofthebargain，andmakeshimselfaperfectcursetothewholevillage。

Theothershavedroppedintotheirrespectivepositionsandareworkingwell。Theladyvisitsthemalleveryafternoon，andismostcharitable。TheycallherLadyBountiful，andeverybodyblessesher。"

Brownroseashefinishedspeaking，andmixedhimselfaglassofwhiskyandwaterwiththeself—satisfiedairofabenevolentmanabouttorewardsomebodyforhavingdoneagooddeed；andMacShaughnassylifteduphisvoiceandtalked。

"Iknowastorybearingonthesubject，too，"hesaid。"IthappenedinatinyYorkshirevillage——apeaceful，respectablespot，wherefolksfoundlifeabitslow。Oneday，however，anewcuratearrived，andthatwokethingsupconsiderably。Hewasaniceyoungman，and，havingalargeprivateincomeofhisown，wasaltogetheramostdesirablecatch。Everyunmarriedfemaleintheplacewentforhimwithoneaccord。

"Butordinaryfeminineblandishmentsappearedtohavenoeffectuponhim。Hewasaseriouslyinclinedyoungman，andonce，inthecourseofacasualconversationuponthesubjectoflove，hewasheardtosaythathehimselfshouldneverbeattractedbymerebeautyandcharm。Whatwouldappealtohim，hesaid，wouldbeawoman’sgoodness——hercharityandkindlinesstothepoor。

"Well，thatsetthepetticoatsallthinking。Theysawthatinstudyingfashionplatesandpractisingexpressionstheyhadbeengoinguponthewrongtack。Thecardforthemtoplaywas’thepoor。’Buthereaseriousdifficultyarose。Therewasonlyonepoorpersoninthewholeparish，acantankerousoldfellowwholivedinatumble—downcottageatthebackofthechurch，andfifteenable—bodiedwomen（elevengirls，threeoldmaids，andawidow）

wantedtobe’good’tohim。

"MissSimmonds，oneoftheoldmaids，gotholdofhimfirst，andcommencedfeedinghimtwiceadaywithbeef—tea；andthenthewidowboardedhimwithportwineandoysters。Laterintheweekothersofthepartydriftedinuponhim，andwantedtocramhimwithjellyandchickens。

Theoldmancouldn’tunderstandit。Hewasaccustomedtoasmallsackofcoalsnowandthen，accompaniedbyalonglectureonhissins，andanoccasionalbottleofdandeliontea。ThissuddenspurtonthepartofProvidencepuzzledhim。Hesaidnothing，however，butcontinuedtotakeinasmuchofeverythingashecouldhold。Attheendofamonthhewastoofattogetthroughhisownbackdoor。

"Thecompetitionamongthewomen—folkgrewkeenereveryday，andatlasttheoldmanbegantogivehimselfairs，andtomaketheplacehardforthem。Hemadethemcleanhiscottageout，andcookhismeals，andwhenhewastiredofhavingthemaboutthehouse，hesetthemtoworkinthegarden。

"Theygrumbledagooddeal，andtherewasatalkatonetimeofasortofastrike，butwhatcouldtheydo？Hewastheonlypauperformilesround，andknewit。Hehadthemonopoly，and，likeallmonopolises，heabusedhisposition。

"Hemadethemrunerrands。Hesentthemouttobuyhis’baccy，’attheirownexpense。OnoneoccasionhesentMissSimmondsoutwithajugtogethissupperbeer。Sheindignantlyrefusedatfirst，buthetoldherthatifshegavehimanyofherstuck—upairsoutshewouldgo，andnevercomeintohishouseagain。Ifshewouldn’tdoittherewereplentyofotherswhowould。Sheknewitandwent。

"Theyhadbeeninthehabitofreadingtohim——goodbookswithanelevatingtendency。Butnowheputhisfootdownuponthatsortofthing。Hesaidhedidn’twantSunday—schoolrubbishathistimeoflife。Whathelikedwassomethingspicy。AndhemadethemreadhimFrenchnovelsandsea—faringtales，containingrealisticlanguage。

Andtheydidn’thavetoskipanythingeither，orhe’dknowthereasonwhy。

"Hesaidhelikedmusic，soafewofthemclubbedtogetherandboughthimaharmonium。Theirideawasthattheywouldsinghymnsandplayhigh—classmelodies，butitwasn’this。Hisideawas——

’Keepinguptheoldgirl’sbirthday’and’Shewinkedtheothereye，’

withchorusandskirtdance，andthat’swhattheysang。

"Towhatlengthshistyrannywouldhavegoneitisdifficulttosay，hadnotaneventhappenedthatbroughthispowertoaprematurecollapse。Thiswasthecurate’ssuddenandsomewhatunexpectedmarriagewithaverybeautifulburlesqueactresswhohadlatelybeenperforminginaneighbouringtown。HegaveuptheChurchonhisengagement，inconsequenceofhisfiancee’sobjectiontobecomingaminister’swife。Shesaidshecouldnever’tumbleto’thedistrictvisiting。

"Withthecurate’sweddingtheoldpauper’sbriefcareerofprosperityended。Theypackedhimofftotheworkhouseafterthat，andmadehimbreakstones。"

Attheendofthetellingofhistale，MacShaughnassyliftedhisfeetoffthemantelpiece，andsettoworktowakeuphislegs；andJephsontookahand，andbegantospinusstories。

ButnoneofusfeltinclinedtolaughatJephson’sstories，fortheydealtnotwiththegoodnessoftherichtothepoor，whichisavirtueyieldingquickandhighlysatisfactoryreturns，butwiththegoodnessofthepoortothepoor，asomewhatlessremunerativeinvestmentandadifferentmatteraltogether。

Forthepoorthemselves——Idonotmeanthenoisyprofessionalpoor，butthesilent，fightingpoor——oneisboundtofeelagenuinerespect。Onehonoursthem，asonehonoursawoundedsoldier。

IntheperpetualwarfarebetweenHumanityandNature，thepoorstandalwaysinthevan。Theydieintheditches，andwemarchovertheirbodieswiththeflagsflyingandthedrumsplaying。

Onecannotthinkofthemwithoutanuncomfortablefeelingthatoneoughttobealittlebitashamedoflivinginsecurityandease，leavingthemtotakeallthehardblows。Itisasifonewerealwaysskulkinginthetents，whileone’scomradeswerefightinganddyinginthefront。

Theybleedandfallinsilencethere。Naturewithherterribleclub，"SurvivaloftheFittest"；andCivilisationwithhercruelsword，"SupplyandDemand，"beatthemback，andtheygivewayinchbyinch，fightingtotheend。Butitisinadumb，sullenway，thatisnotsufficientlypicturesquetobeheroic。

Irememberseeinganoldbull—dog，oneSaturdaynight，lyingonthedoorstepofasmallshopintheNewCut。Helaythereveryquiet，andseemedabitsleepy；and，ashelookedsavage，nobodydisturbedhim。Peoplesteppedinandoutoverhim，andoccasionallyindoingso，onewouldaccidentallykickhim，andthenhewouldbreathealittleharderandquicker。

Atlastapasser—by，feelingsomethingwetbeneathhisfeet，lookeddown，andfoundthathewasstandinginapoolofblood，and，lookingtoseewhereitcamefrom，foundthatitflowedinathick，darkstreamfromthesteponwhichthedogwaslying。

Thenhestoopeddownandexaminedthedog，andthedogopeneditseyessleepilyandlookedathim，gaveagrinwhichmayhaveimpliedpleasure，ormayhaveimpliedirritationatbeingdisturbed，anddied。

Acrowdcollected，andtheyturnedthedeadbodyofthedogoveronitsside，andsawafearfulgashinthegroin，outofwhichoozedblood，andotherthings。Theproprietoroftheshopsaidtheanimalhadbeenthereforoveranhour。

Ihaveknownthepoortodieinthatsamegrim，silentway——notthepoorthatyou，mydelicately—glovedLadyBountifulandmyveryexcellentSirSimonDoGood，know，orthatyouwouldcaretoknow；

notthepoorwhomarchinprocessionswithbannersandcollection—

boxes；notthepoorthatclamourroundyoursoupkitchensandsinghymnsatyourteameetings；butthepoorthatyoudon’tknowarepooruntilthetaleistoldatthecoroner’sinquest——thesilent，proudpoorwhowakeeachmorningtowrestlewithDeathtillnight—

time，andwho，whenatlastheovercomesthem，and，forcingthemdownontherottingfloorofthedimattic，stranglesthem，stilldiewiththeirteethtightshut。

TherewasaboyIcametoknowwhenIwaslivingintheEastEndofLondon。Hewasnotaniceboybyanymeans。Hewasnotquitesocleanasarethegoodboysinthereligiousmagazines，andIhaveknownasailortostophiminthestreetandreprovehimforusingindelicatelanguage。

【推荐阅读】幽幽深宫，醒来一梦似千年，重生于下堂妃身躯中的她，将如何手刃仇人? 点击阅读