Youmayjudgeofthisbythestepsitinducedmetotake。’Hethentoldmehow，afterdiscoveringthatIhaddeceivedhim，andgoneoffwithmymistress，heprocuredhorsesforthepurposeofpursuingme，buthavingthestartofhimbyfourorfivehours，hefounditimpossibletoovertakeme；thathearrived，however，atSt。DenishalfanhourafterIhadleftit；that，beingverysurethatImusthavestoppedinParis，hespentsixweeksthereinafruitlessendeavourtodiscoverme——visitingeveryplacewherehethoughtheshouldbelikelytomeetme，andthatoneeveningheatlengthrecognisedmymistressattheplay，whereshewassogorgeouslydressed，thatheofcoursesetitdowntotheaccountofsomenewlover；thathehadfollowedherequipagetoherhouse，andhadtherelearnedfromaservantthatshewasentertainedinthisstylebyM。deB————。`Ididnotstophere，’
continuedhe；`Ireturnednextdaytothehouse，tolearnfromherownlipswhathadbecomeofyou。Sheturnedabruptlyawaywhensheheardthementionofyourname，andIwasobligedtoreturnintothecountrywithoutfurtherinformation。Itherelearnedtheparticularsofyouradventure，andtheextremeannoyanceshehadcausedyou；butIwasunwillingtovisityouuntilIcouldhaveassuranceofyourbeinginamoretranquilstate。’
"`YouhaveseenManonthen！’criedI，sighing。`Alas！youarehappierthanI，whoamdoomedneveragaintobeholdher。’Herebukedmeforthissigh，whichstillshowedmyweaknessfortheperfidiousgirl。Heflatteredmesoadroitlyuponthegoodnessofmymindanddisposition，thathereallyinspiredme，evenonthisfirstvisit，withastronginclinationtorenounce，ashehaddone，thepleasuresoftheworld，andenteratonceintoholyorders。
"Theideawassosuitedtomypresentframeofmind，thatwhenaloneIthoughtofnothingelse。IrememberedthewordsoftheBishopofAmiens，whohadgivenmethesameadvice，andthoughtonlyofthehappinesswhichhepredictedwouldresultfrommyadoptionofsuchacourse。Pietyitselftookpartinthesesuggestions。`IshallleadaholyandaChristianlife，’saidI；
`Ishalldividemytimebetweenstudyandreligion，whichwillallowmenoleisurefortheperilouspleasuresoflove。Ishalldespisethatwhichmenordinarilyadmire；andasIamconsciousthatmyheartwilldesirenothingbutwhatitcanesteem，mycareswillnotbegreaterormorenumerousthanmywantsandwishes。’
"Ithereuponpicturedtomyselfinanticipationacourseoflifepeacefulandretired。Ifanciedaretreatembosomedinawood，withalimpidstreamofrunningwaterboundingmygarden；alibrary，comprisingthemostselectworks；alimitedcircleoffriends，virtuousandintellectual；atableneatlyserved，butfrugalandtemperate。ToalltheseagremensIaddedaliterarycorrespondencewithafriendwhoseresidenceshouldbeinParis，whoshouldgivemeoccasionalinformationuponpublicaffairs，lessforthegratificationofmycuriosity，thantoaffordakindofrelaxationbyhearingofandlamentingthebusyfolliesofmen。`ShallnotIbehappy？’addedI；`willnotmyutmostwishesbethusgratified？’Thisprojectflatteredmyinclinationsextremely。Butafterallthedetailsofthismostadmirableandprudentplan，Ifeltthatmyheartstillyearnedforsomething；
andthatinordertoleavenothingtodesireinthismostenchantingretirement，oneoughttobeabletoshareitwithManon。
"However，Tibergecontinuingtopaymefrequentvisitsinordertostrengthenmeinthepurposewithwhichhehadinspiredme，I
tookanopportunityofopeningthesubjecttomyfather。Hedeclaredthathisintentioneverwastoleavehischildrenfreetochooseaprofession，andthatinwhatevermannerIshoulddisposeofmyself，allhewishedtoreservewastherightofaidingmewithhiscounsel。Onthisoccasionhegavemesomeofthewisest，whichtendedlesstodivertmefrommyproject，thantoconvincemeofmygoodfather’ssoundjudgmentanddiscretion。
Therecommencementofthescholasticyearbeingathand，TibergeandIagreedtoenterourselvestogetheratSt。Sulpice，hetopursuehistheologicalstudies，andItobeginmine。Hismerits，whichwerenotunknowntothebishopofthediocese，procuredhimthepromiseofalivingfromthatprelatebeforeourdeparture。
"Myfather，thinkingmequitecuredofmypassion，madenoobjectiontomytakingfinalleave。WearrivedatParis。TheCrossofMaltagaveplacetotheecclesiasticalhabit，andthedesignationoftheAbbedeGrieuxwassubstitutedforthatofchevalier。Iappliedsodiligentlytostudy，thatinafewmonthsIhadmadeextraordinaryprogress。Ineverlostamomentoftheday，andemployedevenpartofthenight。Isoonacquiredsuchareputation，thatIwasalreadycongratulateduponthehonourswhichIwassureofobtaining；and，withoutsolicitationonmypart，mynamewasinscribedonthelistforavacantbenefice。Pietywasbynomeansneglected，andIenteredwithardentdevotionintoalltheexercisesofreligion。Tibergewasproudofwhatheconsideredtheworkofhisownhands，andmanyatimehaveIseenhimshedtearsofdelightinnoticingwhathestyledmyperfectconversion。
"Ithasneverbeenmatterofwondertomethathumanresolutionsareliabletochange；onepassiongivesthembirth，anothermaydestroythem；butwhenIreflectuponthesacrednessofthosemotivesthatledmetoSt。Sulpice，andupontheheartfeltsatisfactionIenjoyedwhileobeyingtheirdictation，IshudderatthefacilitywithwhichIoutragedthemall。IfitbetruethatthebenignsuccouraffordedbyHeavenisatalltimesequaltothestrongestofman’spinions，Ishallbegladtolearnthenatureofthedeplorableascendancywhichcausesussuddenlytoswervefromthepathofduty，withoutthepowerofofferingtheleastresistance，andwithouteventheslightestvisitationofremorse。
"Inowthoughtmyselfentirelysafefromthedangersoflove。I
fanciedthatIcouldhavepreferredasinglepageofSt。
Augustine，oraquarterofanhourofChristianmeditation，toeverysensualgratification，notexceptinganythatImighthavederivedevenfromManon’ssociety。Nevertheless，oneunluckymomentplungedmeagainheadlongintothegulf；andmyruinwasthemoreirreparable，because，fallingatoncetothesamedepthfromwhenceIhadbeenbeforerescued，eachofthenewdisordersintowhichInowlapsedcarriedmedeeperanddeeperstilldowntheprofoundabyssofvice。IhadpassednearlyayearatPariswithouthearingofManon。Itcostmenoslightefforttoabstainfromenquiry；buttheunintermittingadviceofTiberge，andmyownreflections，securedthisvictoryovermywishes。Thelastmonthsglidedawaysotranquilly，thatIconsideredthememoryofthischarmingbuttreacherouscreatureabouttobeconsignedtoeternaloblivion。
"ThetimearrivedwhenIwastoundergoapublicexaminationintheclassoftheology：Iinvitedseveralpersonsofconsiderationtohonourmewiththeirpresenceontheoccasion。
MynamewasmentionedineveryquarterofParis：itevenreachedtheearsofherwhohadbetrayedme。ShehadsomedifficultyinrecognisingitwiththeprefixofAbbe；butcuriosity，orperhapsremorseforhavingbeenfaithlesstome（Icouldneverafterascertainbywhichofthesefeelingsshewasactuated），madeheratoncetakeaninterestinanamesolikemine；andshecamewithseveralotherwomentotheSorbonne，whereshewaspresentatmyexamination，andhaddoubtlesslittletroubleinrecognisingmyperson。
"Ihadnottheremotestsuspicionofherpresence。Itiswellknownthatintheseplacesthereareprivateseatsforladies，wheretheyremainscreenedbyacurtain。IreturnedtoSt。
Sulpicecoveredwithhonoursandcongratulations。Itwassixintheevening。ThemomentIreturned，aladywasannounced，whodesiredtospeakwithme。Iwenttomeether。Heavens！whatasurprise！
ItwasManon。Itwassheindeed，butmorebewitchingandbrilliantthanIhadeverbeheldher。Shewasnowinhereighteenthyear。Herbeautybeggarsalldescription。Theexquisitegraceofherform，themildsweetnessofexpressionthatanimatedherfeatures，andherengagingair，madeherseemtheverypersonificationoflove。Thevisionwassomethingtooperfectforhumanbeauty。
"Istoodlikeoneenchantedatbeholdingher。Unabletodivinetheobjectofhervisit，Iwaitedtremblingandwithdowncastlooksuntilsheexplainedherself。Atfirst，herembarrassmentwasequaltomine；but，seeingthatIwasnotdisposedtobreaksilence，sheraisedherhandtohereyestoconcealastartingtear，andthen，inatimidtone，saidthatshewellknewshehadjustlyearnedmyabhorrencebyherinfidelity；butthatifIhadeverreallyfeltanyloveforher，therewasnotmuchkindnessinallowingtwolongyearstopasswithoutenquiringafterher，andaslittlenowinseeingherinthestateofmentaldistressinwhichshewas，withoutcondescendingtobestowuponherasingleword。IshallnotattempttodescribewhatmyfeelingswereasI
listenedtothisreproof。
"Sheseatedherself。Iremainedstanding，withmyfacehalfturnedaside，forIcouldnotmustercouragetomeetherlook。I
severaltimescommencedareplywithoutpowertoconcludeit。AtlengthImadeaneffort，andinatoneofpoignantgriefexclaimed：`PerfidiousManon！perfidious，perfidiouscreature！’
Shehadnowish，sherepeatedwithafloodoftears，toattempttojustifyherinfidelity。`Whatisyourwish，then？’criedI。
`Iwishtodie，’sheanswered，`ifyouwillnotgivemebackthatheart，withoutwhichitisimpossibletoendurelife。’`Takemylifetoo，then，faithlessgirl！’Iexclaimed，invainendeavouringtorestrainmytears；`takemylifealso！itisthesolesacrificethatremainsformetomake，formyhearthasneverceasedtobethine。’
"Ihadhardlyutteredthesewords，whensheroseinatransportofjoy，andapproachedtoembraceme。Sheloadedmewithathousandcaresses。Sheaddressedmebyalltheendearingappellationswithwhichlovesupplieshisvotaries，toenablethemtoexpressthemostpassionatefondness。Istillansweredwithaffectedcoldness；butthesuddentransitionfromastateofquietude，suchasthatIhaduptothismomentenjoyed，totheagitationandtumultwhichwerenowkindledinmybreastandtingledthroughmyveins，thrilledmewithakindofhorror，andimpressedmewithavaguesensethatIwasabouttoundergosomegreattransformation，andtoenteruponanewexistence。
"Wesatdownclosebyeachother。Itookherhandwithinmine，`Ah！Manon，’saidI，withalookofsorrow，`Ilittlethoughtthatlovelikeminecouldhavebeenrepaidwithtreachery！Itwasapoortriumphtobetrayaheartofwhichyouweretheabsolutemistress——whosesolehappinessitwastogratifyandobeyyou。Tellmeifamongothersyouhavefoundanysoaffectionateandsodevoted？No，no！Ibelievenaturehascastfewheartsinthesamemouldasmine。Tellmeatleastwhetheryouhaveeverthoughtofmewithregret！CanIhaveanyrelianceonthedurationofthefeelingthathasbroughtyoubacktometoday？Iperceivetooplainlythatyouareinfinitelylovelierthanever：butIconjureyoubyallmypastsufferings，dearestManon，totellme——canyouinfuturebemorefaithful？’
"Shegavemeinreplysuchtenderassurancesofherrepentance，andpledgedherfidelitywithsuchsolemnprotestationsandvows，thatIwasinexpressiblyaffected。`BeauteousManon，’saidI，withratheraprofanemixtureofamorousandtheologicalexpressions，`youaretooadorableforacreatedbeing。Ifeelmyhearttransportedwithtriumphantrapture。ItisfollytotalkoflibertyatSt。Sulpice。Fortuneandreputationarebutslightsacrificesatsuchashrine！Iplainlyforeseeit：Icanreadmydestinyinyourbrighteyes；butwhatabundantrecompenseshallInotfindinyouraffectionsforanylossImaysustain！
Thefavoursoffortunehavenoinfluenceoverme：fameitselfappearstomebutamockery；allmyprojectsofaholylifewerewildabsurdities：infact，anyjoysbutthoseImayhopeforatyoursidearefitobjectsofcontempt。Therearenonethatwouldnotvanishintoworthlessnessbeforeonesingleglanceofthine！’
"Inpromisingher，however，afullremissionofherpastfrailties，IenquiredhowshepermittedherselftobeledastraybyB————。Sheinformedmethathavingseenheratherwindow，hebecamepassionatelyinlovewithher；thathemadehisadvancesinthetruestyleofamercantilecit；——thatistosay，bygivinghertounderstandinhisletter，thathispaymentswouldbeproportionedtoherfavours；thatshehadadmittedhisoverturesatfirstwithnootherintentionthanthatofgettingfromhimsuchasumasmightenableustolivewithoutinconvenience；butthathehadsobewilderedherwithsplendidpromises，thatsheallowedherselftobemisledbydegrees。Sheadded，thatIoughttohaveformedsomenotionoftheremorsesheexperienced，byhergriefonthenightofourseparation；andassuredmethat，inspiteofthesplendourinwhichhemaintainedher，shehadneverknownamoment’shappinesswithhim，notonly，shesaid，becausehewasutterlydevoidofthatdelicacyofsentimentandofthoseagreeablemannerswhichIpossessed，butbecauseeveninthemidstoftheamusementswhichheunceasinglyprocuredher，shecouldnevershakeofftherecollectionofmylove，orherowningratitude。ShethenspokeofTiberge，andtheextremeembarrassmenthisvisitcausedher。`Adagger’spoint，’sheadded，`couldnothavestruckmoreterrortomyheart。Iturnedfromhim，unabletosustaintheinterviewforamoment。’
"ShecontinuedtoinformmehowshehadbeenapprisedofmyresidenceatParis，ofthechangeinmycondition，andofherwitnessingmyexaminationattheSorbonne。Shetoldmehowagitatedshehadbeenduringmyintellectualconflictwiththeexaminer；whatdifficultyshefeltinrestraininghertearsaswellashersighs，whichweremorethanonceonthepointofspurningallcontrol，andburstingforth；thatshewasthelastpersontoleavethehallofexamination，forfearofbetrayingherdistress，andthat，followingonlytheinstinctofherownheart，andherardentdesires，shecamedirecttotheseminary，withthefirmresolutionofsurrenderinglifeitself，ifshefoundmecruelenoughtowithholdmyforgiveness。
"CouldanysavageremainunmovedbysuchproofsofcordialrepentanceasthoseIhadjustwitnessed？Formypart，IfeltatthemomentthatIcouldgladlyhavegivenupallthebishopricsinChristendomforManon。Iaskedwhatcourseshewouldrecommendinourpresentemergency。`Itisrequisite，’shereplied，`atallevents，toquittheseminary，andsettleinsomesaferplace。’Iconsentedtoeverythingsheproposed。Shegotintohercarriagetogoandwaitformeatthecornerofthestreet。Iescapedthenextmoment，withoutattractingtheporter’snotice。Ienteredthecarriage，andwedroveofftoaJew’s。Ithereresumedmylay-dressandsword。Manonfurnishedthesupplies，forIwaswithoutasou，andfearingthatImightmeetwithsomenewimpediment，shewouldnotconsenttomyreturningtomyroomatSt。Sulpiceformypurse。Myfinanceswereintruthwretchedlylow，andhersmorethansufficientlyenrichedbytheliberalityofM。deB————tomakeherthinklightlyofmyloss。WeconsultedtogetherattheJew’sastothecourseweshouldnowadopt。
"Inordertoenhancethesacrificeshehadmadeformeofherlatelover，shedeterminedtotreathimwithouttheleastceremony。`Ishallleavehimallhisfurniture，’shesaid；`itbelongstohim：butIshallassuredlycarryoff，asIhavearighttodo，thejewels，andaboutsixtythousandfrancs，whichI
havehadfromhiminthelasttwoyears。Ihavegivenhimnocontroloverme，’sheadded，`sothatwemayremainwithoutapprehensioninParis，takingaconvenienthouse，whereweshalllive，ohhowhappilytogether！’
"Irepresentedtoherthat，althoughtheremightbenodangerforher，therewasagreatdealforme，whomustbesoonerorlaterinfalliblyrecognised，andcontinuallyexposedtoarepetitionofthetrialsIhadbeforeendured。ShegavemetounderstandthatshecouldnotquitPariswithoutregret。Ihadsuchadreadofgivingherannoyance，thattherewerenorisksI
wouldnothaveencounteredforhersake。However，wecompromisedmattersbyresolvingtotakeahouseinsomevillagenearParis，fromwhenceitwouldbeeasyforustocomeintotownwheneverpleasureorbusinessrequiredit。WefixedonChaillot，whichisataconvenientdistance。Manonatoncereturnedtoherhouse，andIwenttowaitforherataside-gateofthegardenoftheTuileries。
"Shereturnedanhourafter，inahiredcarriage，withaservant-maid，andseveraltrunks，whichcontainedherdresses，andeverythingshehadofvalue。
"WewerenotlongonourwaytoChaillot。Welodgedthefirstnightattheinn，inordertohavetimetofindasuitablehouse，oratleastacommodiouslodging。Wefoundonetoourtastethenextmorning。
"Myhappinessnowappearedtobesecuredbeyondthereachoffate。Manonwaseverythingmostsweetandamiable。Shewassodelicateandsounceasinginherattentionstome，thatIdeemedmyselfbuttoobountifullyrewardedforallmypasttroubles。Aswehadboth，bythistime，acquiredsomeexperience，wediscussedrationallythestateofourfinances。Sixtythousandfrancs（theamountofourwealth）wasnotasumthatcouldbeexpectedtolastourwholelife；besides，wewereneitherofusmuchdisposedtocontrolourexpenses。Manon’schiefvirtueassuredlywasnoteconomy，anymorethanitwasmine。Thiswasmyproposition。
`Sixtythousandfrancs，’saidI，`maysupportusfortenyears。
Twothousandcrownsayearwillsuffice，ifwecontinuetoliveatChaillot。Weshallkeepupappearances，butlivefrugally。
Ouronlyexpensewillbeoccasionallyacarriage，andthetheatres。Weshalldoeverythinginmoderation。Youliketheopera；weshallgotwiceaweek，intheseason。Asforplay，weshalllimitourselves；sothatourlossesmustneverexceedthreecrowns。Itisimpossiblebutthatinthespaceoftenyearssomechangemustoccurinmyfamily：myfatherisevennowofanadvancedage；hemaydie；inwhicheventImustinheritafortune，andweshallthenbeaboveallotherfears。’
"Thisarrangementwouldnothavebeenbyanymeansthemostsillyactofmylife，ifwehadonlybeenprudentenoughtopersevereinitsexecution；butourresolutionshardlylastedlongerthanamonth。Manon’spassionwasforamusement；shewastheonlyobjectofmine。Newtemptationstoexpenseconstantlypresentedthemselves，andfarfromregrettingthemoneywhichshesometimesprodigallylavished，Iwasthefirsttoprocureforhereverythinglikelytoaffordherpleasure。OurresidenceatChaillotbeganeventoappeartiresome。
"Winterwasapproaching，andthewholeworldreturningtotown；
thecountryhadadesertedlook。SheproposedtometotakeahouseinParis。Ididnotapproveofthis；but，inorderpartlyatleasttosatisfyher，Isaidthatwemighthirefurnishedapartments，andthatwemightsleeptherewheneverwewerelateinquittingtheassembly，whitherweoftenwent；fortheinconvenienceofreturningsolatetoChaillotwasherexcuseforwishingtoleaveit。Wehadthustwodwellings，oneintownandtheotherinthecountry。Thischangesoonthrewouraffairsintoconfusion，andledtotwoadventures，whicheventuallycausedourruin。
"ManonhadabrotherintheGuards。Heunfortunatelylivedintheverystreetinwhichwehadtakenlodgings。Heonedayrecognisedhissisteratthewindow，andhastenedovertous。Hewasafellowoftherudestmanners，andwithouttheslightestprincipleofhonour。Heenteredtheroomswearinginthemosthorribleway；andasheknewpartofhissister’shistory，heloadedherwithabuseandreproaches。
"Ihadgoneoutthemomentbefore，whichwasdoubtlessfortunateforeitherhimorme，forIwaslittledisposedtobrookaninsult。Ionlyreturnedtothelodgingsafterhehadleftthem。
ThelowspiritsinwhichIfoundManonconvincedmeatoncethatsomethingextraordinaryhadoccurred。Shetoldmeoftheprovokingsceneshehadjustgonethrough，andofthebrutalthreatsofherbrother。Ifeltsuchindignation，thatIwishedtoproceedatoncetoavengeher，whensheentreatedmewithtearstodesist。
"Whilewewerestilltalkingoftheadventure，theguardsmanagainenteredtheroominwhichwesat，withoutevenwaitingtobeannounced。HadIknownhim，heshouldnothavemetfrommeascivilareceptionashedid；butsalutinguswithasmileuponhiscountenance，headdressedhimselftoManon，andsaid，hewascometomakeexcusesforhisviolence；thathehadsupposedhertobelivingalifeofshameanddisgrace，anditwasthisnotionthatexcitedhisrage；buthavingsincemadeenquiryfromoneofourservants，hehadlearnedsuchacharacterofme，thathisonlywishwasnowtobeontermswithusboth。
"Althoughthisadmission，ofhavinggoneforinformationtooneofmyownservants，hadinitsomethingludicrousaswellasindelicate，Iacknowledgedhiscomplimentswithcivility，I
thoughtbydoingsotopleaseManon，andIwasnotdeceived——shewasdelightedatthereconciliation。Wemadehimstaytodinewithus。
"Inalittletimehebecamesofamiliar，thathearingusspeakofourreturntoChaillot，heinsistedonaccompanyingus。Wewereobligedtogivehimaseatinourcarriage。Thiswasinfactputtinghimintopossession，forhesoonbegantofeelsomuchpleasureinourcompany，thathemadeourhousehishome，andmadehimselfinsomemeasuremasterofallthatbelongedtous。Hecalledmehisbrother，and，underthesemblanceoffraternalfreedom，heputhimselfonsuchafootingastointroduceallhisfriendswithoutceremonyintoourhouseatChaillot，andthereentertainthematourexpense。Hismagnificentuniformswereprocuredofmytailorandchargedtome，andheevencontrivedtomakeManonandmeresponsibleforallhisdebts。Ipretendedtobeblindtothissystemoftyranny，ratherthanannoyManon，andeventotakenonoticeofthesumsofmoneywhichfromtimetotimehereceivedfromher。
Nodoubt，asheplayedverydeep，hewashonestenoughtorepayherapartsometimes，whenluckturnedinhisfavour；butourfinanceswereutterlyinadequatetosupply，foranylengthoftime，demandsofsuchmagnitudeandfrequency。
"Iwasonthepointofcomingtoanunderstandingwithhim，inordertoputanendtothesystem，whenanunfortunateaccidentsavedmethattrouble，byinvolvingusininextricableruin。
"OnenightwestoppedinParistosleep，asithadnowindeedbecomeourconstanthabit。Theservant-maidwhoonsuchoccasionsremainedaloneatChaillot，cameearlythenextmorningtoinformmethatourhousehadtakenfireinthenight，andthattheflameshadbeenextinguishedwithgreatdifficulty。Iaskedwhetherthefurniturehadsuffered。Sheanswered，thattherehadbeensuchconfusion，owingtothemultitudeofstrangerswhocametoofferassistance，thatshecouldhardlyascertainwhatdamagehadbeendone。Iwasprincipallyuneasyaboutourmoney，whichhadbeenlockedupinalittlebox。IwentoffinhastetoChaillot。Vainhope！theboxhaddisappeared！
"Idiscoveredthatonecouldlovemoneywithoutbeingamiser。
ThislossafflictedmetosuchadegreethatIwasalmostoutofmymind。IsawatoneglancetowhatnewcalamitiesIshouldbeexposed：povertywastheleastofthem。IknewManonthoroughly；
Ihadalreadyhadabundantproofthat，althoughfaithfulandattachedtomeunderhappiercircumstances，shecouldnotbedependeduponinwant：pleasureandplentyshelovedtoowelltosacrificethemformysake。`Ishallloseher！’Icried；
`miserablechevalier！youareaboutthentoloseallthatyouloveonearth！’ThisthoughtagitatedmetosuchadegreethatI
actuallyforsomemomentsconsideredwhetheritwouldnotbebestformetoendatonceallmymiseriesbydeath。IhoweverpreservedpresenceofmindenoughtoreflectwhetherIwasentirelywithoutresource，andanideaoccurredtomewhichquietedmydespair。Itwouldnotbeimpossible，Ithought，toconcealourlossfromManon；andImightperhapsdiscoversomewaysandmeansofsupplyingher，soastowardofftheinconveniencesofpoverty。
"Ihadcalculatedinendeavouringtocomfortmyself，thattwentythousandcrownswouldsupportusfortenyears。Supposethatthesetenyearshadnowelapsed，andthatnoneoftheeventswhichIhadlookedforinmyfamilyhadoccurred。Whatthenwouldhavebeenmycourse？Ihardlyknow；butwhateverIshouldthenhavedone，whymayInotdonow？HowmanyarethereinParis，whohaveneithermytalents，northenaturaladvantagesI
possess，andwho，notwithstanding，owetheirsupporttotheexerciseoftheirtalents，suchastheyare？
"`HasnotProvidence，’Iadded，whilereflectingonthedifferentconditionsoflife，`arrangedthingswisely？’Thegreaternumberofthepowerfulandthericharefools。Noonewhoknowsanythingoftheworldcandoubtthat。Howadmirableisthecompensatingjusticethereof！Ifwealthbroughtwithittalentalso，therichwouldbetoohappy，andothermentoowretched。Totheselatteraregivenpersonaladvantagesandgenius，tohelpthemoutofmiseryandwant。Someofthemsharetherichesofthewealthybyadministeringtotheirpleasures，orbymakingthemtheirdupes；othersaffordtheminstruction，andendeavourtomakethemdecentmembersofsociety；tobesure，theydonotalwayssucceed；butthatwasprobablynottheintentionofthedivinewisdom。Ineverycasetheyderiveabenefitfromtheirlaboursbylivingattheexpenseoftheirpupils；and，inwhateverpointofviewitisconsidered，thefolliesoftherichareabountifulsourceofrevenuetothehumblerclasses。
"Thesethoughtsrestoredmealittletomyspiritsandtomyreason。IdeterminedfirsttoconsultM。Lescaut，thebrotherofManon。HeknewParisperfectly；andIhadtoomanyopportunitiesoflearningthatitwasneitherfromhisownestates，norfromtheking’spay，thathederivedtheprincipalportionofhisincome。Ihadaboutthirty-threecrownsleft，whichI
fortunatelyhappenedtohaveaboutme。Ishowedhimmypurse，andexplainedtohimmymisfortuneandmyfears，andthenaskedhimwhetherIhadanyalternativebetweenstarvationandblowingoutmybrainsindespair。Hecoollyrepliedthatsuicidewastheresourceoffools。Astodyingofwant，therewerehundredsofmenofgeniuswhofoundthemselvesreducedtothatstatewhentheywouldnotemploytheirtalents；thatitwasformyselftodiscoverwhatIwascapableofdoing，andhetoldmetoreckonuponhisassistanceandhisadviceinanyenterpriseImightundertake。
"`Vagueenough，M。Lescaut！’saidItohim：`mywantsdemandamorespeedyremedy；forwhatamItosaytoManon？’`AproposofManon，’repliedhe，`whatisitthatannoysyouabouther？
Cannotyoualwaysfindinherwherewithaltomeetyourwants，whenyouwishit？Suchapersonoughttosupportusall，youandmeaswellasherself。’HecutshorttheanswerwhichIwasabouttogivetosuchunfeelingandbrutalimpertinence，bygoingontosay，thatbeforenighthewouldensuremeathousandcrownstodividebetweenus，ifIwouldonlyfollowhisadvice；thathewasacquaintedwithanobleman，whowassoliberalinaffairsofthekind，thathewascertainhewouldnothesitateforamomenttogivethesumnamedforthefavoursofsuchagirlasManon。
"Istoppedhim。`Ihadabetteropinionofyou，’saidI；`Ihadimaginedthatyourmotiveforbestowingyourfriendshipuponmewasverydifferentindeedfromtheoneyounowbetray。’Withthegreatesteffronteryheacknowledgedthathehadbeenalwaysofthesamemind，andthathissisterhavingoncesacrificedhervirtue，thoughitmightbetothemanshemostloved，hewouldneverhaveconsentedtoareconciliationwithher，butwiththehopeofderivingsomeadvantagefromherpastmisconduct。
"Itwaseasytoseethatwehadbeenhithertohisdupes。
Notwithstandingthedisgustwithwhichhispropositioninspiredme，still，asIfeltthatIhadoccasionforhisservices，I
said，withapparentcomplacency，thatweoughtonlytoentertainsuchaplanasalastresource。Ibeggedofhimtosuggestsomeother。
"Heproposedtometoturnmyyouthandthegoodlooksnaturehadbestoweduponmetosomeaccount，byestablishingaliaisonwithsomegenerousolddame。Thiswasjustaslittletomytaste，foritwouldnecessarilyhaverenderedmeunfaithfultoManon。
"Imentionedplayastheeasiestscheme，andthemostsuitabletomypresentsituation。Headmittedthatplaycertainlywasaresource，butthatitwasnecessarytoconsiderthepointwell。
`Mereplay，’saidhe，`withitsordinarychances，isthecertainroadtoruin；andasforattempting，aloneandwithoutanally，toemploythelittlemeansanadroitmanhasforcorrectingthevagariesofluck，itwouldbetoodangerousanexperiment。’
Therewas，hestated，athirdcourse，whichwastoenterintowhathecalledapartnership；buthefearedhisconfederateswouldconsidermyyouthanobjectiontomyadmittance。He，however，promisedtousehisinfluencewiththem；and，whatwasmorethanIexpectedathishands，hesaidthathewouldsupplymewithalittlemoneywheneverIhadpressingoccasionforany。
TheonlyfavourIthenaskedofhimwastosaynothingtoManonofthelossIhadexperienced，norofthesubjectofourconversation。
"IcertainlyderivedlittlecomfortfrommyvisittoLescaut；I
feltevensorryforhavingconfidedmysecrettohim：notasinglethinghadhedoneformethatImightnotjustaswellhavedoneformyself，withouttroublinghim；andIcouldnothelpdreadingthathewouldviolatehispromisetokeepthesecretfromManon。Ihadalsoreasontoapprehend，fromhislateavowals，thathemightformthedesignofmakinguseofherforhisownvilepurposes，oratleastofadvisinghertoquitmeforsomehappierandmorewealthylover。Thisideabroughtinitstrainathousandreflections，whichhadnoothereffectthantotormentme，andthrowmeagainintothestateofdespairinwhichIhadpassedthemorning。Itoccurredtome，morethanonce，towritetomyfather；andtopretendanewreformation，inordertoobtainsomepecuniaryassistancefromhim；butIcouldnotforgetthat，notwithstandingallhisnaturalloveandaffectionforme，hehadshutmeupforsixmonthsinaconfinedroomformyfirsttransgression；andIwascertainthat，afterthescandaloussensationcausedbymyflightfromSt。Sulpice，hewouldbesuretotreatmewithinfinitelymorerigournow。
"Atlength，outofthischaosoffanciescameanideathatallatoncerestoredeasetomymind，andwhichIwassurprisedatnothavinghituponsooner；thiswas，togoagaintomyfriendTiberge，inwhomImightbealwayssureoffindingthesameunfailingzealandfriendship。Thereisnothingmoreglorious——nothingthatdoesmorehonourtotruevirtue，thantheconfidencewithwhichoneapproachesafriendoftriedintegrity；
noapprehension，noriskofunkindrepulse：ifitbenotalwaysinhispowertoaffordtherequiredsuccour，oneissureatleastofmeetingkindnessandcompassion。Theheartofthepoorsupplicant，whichremainsimpenetrablyclosedtotherestoftheworld，opensinhispresence，asaflowerexpandsbeforetheorbofday，fromwhichitinstinctivelyknowsitcanderiveacheeringandbenigninfluenceonly。
"IconsideritablessingtohavethoughtsoaproposofTiberge，andresolvedtotakemeasurestofindhimbeforeevening。I
returnedatoncetomylodgingstowritehimaline，andfixaconvenientplaceforourmeeting。Irequestedsecrecyanddiscretion，asthemostimportantservicehecouldrendermeunderpresentcircumstances。
"ThepleasureIderivedfromtheprospectofseeingTibergedissipatedeverytraceofmelancholy，whichManonwouldnothavefailedotherwisetodetectinmycountenance。IdescribedourmisfortuneatChaillotasatriflewhichoughtnottoannoyher；
andParisbeingthespotshelikedbestintheworld，shewasnotsorrytohearmesaythatitwouldbenecessaryforustoremainthereentirely，untilthelittledamagewasrepairedwhichhadbeencausedbythefireatChaillot。
"InanhourIreceivedananswerfromTiberge，whopromisedtobeattheappointedrendezvous。Iwenttherepunctually。I
certainlyfeltsomeshameatencounteringafriendwhosepresencealoneoughttobeareproachtomyiniquities；butIwassupportedbytheopinionIhadofthegoodnessofhisheart，aswellasbymyanxietyaboutManon。
"IhadbeggedofhimtomeetmeinthegardenofthePalaisRoyal。Hewastherebeforeme。Hehastenedtowardsme，themomenthesawmeapproachandshookmewarmlybybothhands。I
saidthatIcouldnothelpfeelingperfectlyashamedtomeethim，andthatIwasweigheddownbyasenseofmyingratitude；thatthefirstthingIimploredofhimwastotellmewhetherImightstillconsiderhimmyfriend，afterhavingsojustlyincurredthelossofhisesteemandaffection。Hereplied，inthekindestpossiblemanner，thatitwasnotinthenatureofthingstodestroyhisregardforme；thatmymisfortuneseven，or，ifhemightsocallthem，myfaultsandtransgressions，hadbutincreasedtheinteresthefeltforme；butthathemustconfesshisaffectionwasnotunalloyedbyasentimentoftheliveliestsorrow，suchasapersonmaybesupposedtofeelatseeingabelovedobjectonthebrinkofruin，andbeyondthereachofhisassistance。
"Wesatdownuponabench。`Alas！’saidIwithadeepsigh，`yourcompassionmustbeindeedgreat，mydearTiberge，ifyouassuremeitisequaltomysufferings。Iamalmostashamedtorecountthem，forIconfesstheyhavebeenbroughtonbynoverycreditablecourseofconduct：theresults，however，aresotrulymelancholy，thatafriendevenlessattachedthanyouwouldbeaffectedbytherecital。’
"Hethenbeggedofme，inproofoffriendship，tolethimknow，withoutanydisguise，allthathadoccurredtomesincemydeparturefromSt。Sulpice。Igratifiedhim；andsofarfromconcealinganything，orattemptingtoextenuatemyfaults，I
spokeofmypassionwithalltheardourwithwhichitstillinspiredme。Irepresentedittohimasoneofthoseespecialvisitationsoffate，whichdrawonthedevotedvictimtohisruin，andwhichitisasimpossibleforvirtueitselftoresist，asforhumanwisdomtoforesee。Ipaintedtohiminthemostvividcolours，myexcitement，myfears，thestateofdespairinwhichIhadbeentwohoursbeforeIsawhim，andintowhichI
shouldbeagainplunged，ifIfoundmyfriendsasrelentlessasfatehadbeen。IatlengthmadesuchanimpressionuponpoorTiberge，thatIsawhewasasmuchaffectedbycompassion，asI
bytherecollectionofmysufferings。
"Hetookmyhand，andexhortedmetohavecourageandbecomforted；but，asheseemedtoconsideritsettledthatManonandIweretoseparate，IgavehimatoncetounderstandthatitwasthatveryseparationIconsideredasthemostintolerableofallmymisfortunes；andthatIwasreadytoendurenotonlythelastdegreeofmisery，butdeathitself，ofthecruellestkind，ratherthanseekreliefinaremedyworsethanthewholeaccumulationofmywoes。
"`Explainyourself，then，’saidhetome；`whatassistancecanIaffordyou，ifyourejecteverythingIpropose？’IhadnotcouragetotellhimthatitwasfromhispurseIwantedrelief。
He，however，comprehendeditintheend；andacknowledgingthathebelievedhenowunderstoodme，heremainedforamomentinanattitudeofthought，withtheairofapersonrevolvingsomethinginhismind。`Donotimagine，’hepresentlysaid，`thatmyhesitationarisesfromanydiminutionofmyzealandfriendship；
buttowhatanalternativedoyounowreduceme，sinceImusteitherrefuseyoutheassistanceyouask，orviolatemymostsacreddutyinaffordingit！Forisitnotparticipatinginyoursintofurnishyouwiththemeansofcontinuingitsindulgence？’
"`However，’continuedhe，afteramoment’sthought，`itisperhapstheexcitedstateintowhichwanthasthrownyou，thatdeniesyounowthelibertyofchoosingtheproperpath。Man’smindmustbeatrest，toknowtheluxuryofwisdomandvirtue。I
canaffordtoletyouhavesomemoney；andpermitme，mydearchevalier，toimposebutonecondition；thatis，thatyouletmeknowtheplaceofyourabode，andallowmetheopportunityofusingmyexertionstoreclaimyou。Iknowthatthereisinyourheartaloveofvirtue，andthatyouhavebeenonlyledastraybytheviolenceofyourpassions。’
"I，ofcourse，agreedtoeverythingheasked，andonlybeggedofhimtodeplorethemaligndestinywhichrenderedmecalloustothecounselsofsovirtuousafriend。Hethentookmetoabankerofhisacquaintance，whogaveonehundredandseventycrownsforhisnoteofhand，whichwastakenascash。Ihavealreadysaidthathewasnotrich。Hislivingwasworthaboutsixthousandfrancsayear，butasthiswasthefirstyearsincehisinduction，hehadasyettouchednoneofthereceipts，anditwasoutofthefutureincomethathemademethisadvance。
"Ifeltthefullforceofhisgenerosity，eventosuchadegreeasalmosttodeplorethefatalpassionwhichthusledmetobreakthroughalltherestraintsofduty。Virtuehadforamomenttheascendancyinmyheart，andmademesensibleofmyshameanddegradation。Butthiswassoonover。ForManonIcouldhavegivenupmyhopesofheaven，andwhenIagainfoundmyselfatherside，IwonderedhowIcouldforaninstanthaveconsideredmyselfdegradedbymypassionforthisenchantinggirl。
"Manonwasacreatureofmostextraordinarydisposition。Neverhadmortalagreatercontemptformoney，andyetshewashauntedbyperpetualdreadofwantingit。Heronlydesirewasforpleasureandamusement。Shewouldneverhavewishedtopossessasou，ifpleasurecouldbeprocuredwithoutmoney。Sheneverevencaredwhatourpursecontained，providedshecouldpassthedayagreeably；sothat，beingneitherfondofplaynoratalldazzledbythedesireofgreatwealth，nothingwasmoreeasythantosatisfyher，bydailyfindingoutamusementssuitedtohermoderatewishes。Butitbecamebyhabitathingsoabsolutelynecessaryforhertohavehermindthusoccupied，that，withoutit，itwasimpossibletoexercisethesmallestinfluenceoverhertemperorinclinations。Althoughshelovedmetenderly，andI
wastheonlyperson，assheoftendeclared，inwhosesocietyshecouldeverfindthepureenjoymentsoflove，yetIfeltthoroughlyconvincedthatherattachmentcouldnotwithstandcertainapprehensions。Shewouldhavepreferredme，evenwithamoderatefortune，tothewholeworld；butIhadnokindofdoubtthatshewould，ontheotherhand，abandonmeforsomenewM。deB————，whenIhadnothingmoretoofferherthanfidelityandlove。
"Iresolvedthereforesotocurtailmyownindividualexpenses，astobeablealwaystomeethers，andrathertodeprivemyselfofathousandnecessariesthaneventolimitherextravagance。
Thecarriagemadememoreuneasythananythingelse，forIsawnochanceofbeingabletomaintaineithercoachmanorhorses。
"ItoldM。Lescautofmydifficulties，anddidnotconcealfromhimthatIhadreceivedathousandfrancsfromafriend。Herepeated，thatifIwishedtotrythechancesofthegaming-table，hewasnotwithouthopesthat，byspendingafewcrownsinentertaininghisassociates，Imightbe，onhisrecommendation，admittedintotheassociation。Withallmyrepugnancetocheating，Iyieldedtodirenecessity。
"Lescautpresentedmethatnightasarelationofhisown。Headded，thatIwasthemorelikelytosucceedinmynewprofession，fromwantingthefavoursoffortune。However，toshowthemthatIwasnotquitereducedtothelowestebb，hesaiditwasmyintentiontotreatthemwithasupper。Theofferwasaccepted，andIentertainedthemenprince。Theytalkedagooddealaboutmyfashionableappearanceandtheapparentamiabilityofmydisposition；theysaidthatthebesthopesmightbeentertainedofme，becausetherewassomethinginmycountenancethatbespokethegentleman，andnoonethereforecouldhaveasuspicionofmyhonesty：theyvotedthankstoLescautforhavingintroducedsopromisinganovice，anddeputedoneofthememberstoinstructmeforsomedaysinthenecessarymanoeuvres。
"TheprincipalsceneofmyexploitswasthehotelofTransylvania，wheretherewasafarotableinoneroom，andothergamesofcardsanddiceinthegallery。ThisacademywaskeptbythePrinceofR————，whothenlivedatClagny，andmostofhisofficersbelongedtooursociety。ShallImentionittomyshame？Iprofitedquicklybymyinstructor’stuition。I
acquiredanamazingfacilityinsleightofhandtricks，andlearnedinperfectiontosauterlecoup；withthehelpofapairoflongruffles，Ishuffledsoadroitlyastodefythequickestobserver，andIruinedseveralfairplayers。Myunrivalledskillsoquickenedtheprogressofmyfortunes，thatIfoundmyselfmaster，inafewweeks，ofveryconsiderablesums，besideswhatI
dividedingoodfaithwithmycompanions。
"IhadnolongeranyfearofcommunicatingtoManontheextentofourlossatChaillot，and，toconsoleherontheannouncementofsuchdisastrousnews，Itookafurnishedhouse，whereweestablishedourselvesinalltheprideofopulenceandsecurity。
"Tibergewasinthehabit，atthisperiod，ofpayingmefrequentvisits。Hewasnevertiredofhismorallectures。OverandoveragaindidherepresenttometheinjuryIwasinflictinguponmyconscience，myhonour，andmyfortune。Ireceivedallhisadvicekindly，andalthoughIhadnotthesmallestinclinationtoadoptit，Ihadnodoubtofitssincerity，forIknewitssource。
SometimesIralliedhimgood-humouredly，andentreatedhimnottobemoretight-lacedthansomeotherpriestswere，andevenbishops，whobynomeansconsideredamistressincompatiblewithagoodandholylife。’`Look，’Isaid，atManon’seyes，andtellmeifthereisoneinthelongcatalogueofsinsthatmightnottherefindapleaofjustification。’Heborethesesalliespatiently，andcarriedhisforbearancealmosttoofar：butwhenhesawmyfundsincrease，andthatIhadnotonlyreturnedhimthehundredandseventycrowns，buthavinghiredanewhouseandtrebledmyexpenses，Ihadplungeddeeperthaneverintoalifeofpleasure，hechangedhistoneandmannertowardsme。Helamentedmyobduracy。HewarnedmeagainstthechastisementoftheDivinewrath，andpredictedsomeofthemiserieswithwhichindeedIwasshortlyafterwardsvisited。`Itisimpossible，’hesaid，`thatthemoneywhichnowservestosupportyourdebaucheriescanhavebeenacquiredhonourably。Youhavecomebyitunjustly，andinthesamewayshallitbetakenfromyou。ThemostawfulpunishmentHeavencouldinflictwouldbetoallowyoutheundisturbedenjoymentofit。Allmyadvice，’headded，`hasbeenuseless；Itooplainlyperceivethatitwillshortlybecometroublesometoyou。Inowtakemyleave；youareaweak，aswellasanungratefulfriend！Mayyourcriminalenjoymentsvanishasashadow！mayyourill-gottenwealthleaveyouwithoutaresource；andmayyouyourselfremainaloneanddeserted，tolearnthevanityofthesethings，whichnowdivertyoufrombetterpursuits！Whenthattimearrives，youwillfindmedisposedtoloveandtoserveyou；thisdayendsourintercourse，andIonceforallavowmyhorrorofthelifeyouareleading。’
"ItwasinmyroomandinManon’spresencethathedeliveredthisapostolicalharangue。Herosetodepart。Iwasabouttodetainhim；butwaspreventedbyManon，whosaiditwasbettertoletthemadmango。
"Whathesaid，however，didnotfailtomakesomeimpressionuponme。InoticethesebriefpassagesofmylifewhenI
experiencedareturningsentimentofvirtue，becauseitwastothosetraces，howeverlight，thatIwasafterwardsindebtedforwhateveroffortitudeIdisplayedunderthemosttryingcircumstances。
"Manon’scaressessoondissipatedtheannoyancethisscenehadcausedme。Wecontinuedtoleadalifeentirelydevotedtopleasureandlove。Theincreaseofourwealthonlyredoubledouraffection。TherenonehappieramongallthedevoteesofVenusandFortune。Heavens！whycallthisaworldofmisery，whenitcanfurnishalifeofsuchrapturousenjoyment？Butalas，itistoosoonover！Forwhatoughtmantosigh，couldsuchfelicitybutlastforever？Ourssharedthecommonfate——inbeingofshortduration，andfollowedbylastingregrets。
"Ihadrealisedbyplaysuchaconsiderablesumofmoney，thatI
thoughtofinvestingaportionofit。Myservantswerenotignorantofmygoodluck，particularlymyvaletandManon’sownmaid，beforewhomweoftentalkedwithoutanyreserve。Themaidwashandsome，andmyvaletinlovewithher。Theyknewtheyhadtodealwithayoungandinexperiencedcouple，whomtheyfanciedtheycouldimposeuponwithoutmuchdifficulty。Theylaidaplan，andexecuteditwithsomuchskill，thattheyreducedustoastatefromwhichitwasneverafterwardspossibleforustoextricateourselves。
"HavingsuppedoneeveningatLescaut’s，itwasaboutmidnightwhenwereturnedhome。Iaskedformyvalet，andManonforhermaid；neitheronenortheothercouldbefound。Theyhadnotbeenseeninthehousesinceeighto’clock，andhadgoneout，afterhavingsomecasescarriedbeforethem，accordingtoorderswhichtheypretendedtohavereceivedfromme。Iatonceforesawapartofthetruth，butmysuspicionswereinfinitelysurpassedbywhatpresenteditselfongoingintomyroom。Thelockofmyclosethadbeenforced，andmycashaswellasmybestclothesweregone。WhileIstoodstupefiedwithamazement，Manoncame，inthegreatestalarm，toinformmethatherapartmenthadbeenrifledinthesamemanner。
"Thisblowwassoperfectlyastounding，socruel，thatitwaswithdifficultyIcouldrefrainfromtears。ThedreadofinfectingManonwithmydespairmademeassumeamorecontentedair。Isaid，smiling，thatIshouldavengemyselfuponsomeunhappydupeatthehotelofTransylvania。However，sheappearedsosensiblyaffected，thathergriefincreasedmysorrowinfinitelymorethanmyattemptsucceededinsupportingherspirits。`Wearedestroyed！’saidshe，withtearsinhereyes。
Iendeavoured，invain，bymyentreatiesandcaresses，toconsoleher。Myownlamentationsbetrayedmydistressanddespair。Infact，weweresocompletelyruined，thatwewerebereftalmostofdecentcovering。
"IdeterminedtosendoffatonceforLescaut。Headvisedmetogoimmediatelytothelieutenantofpolice，andtogiveinformationalsototheGrandProvostofParis。Iwent，butitwastoaddtomycalamitiesonly；for，independentlyofmyvisitproducingnotthesmallestgoodeffect，I，bymyabsence，allowedLescauttimefordiscussionwithhissister，duringwhichhedidnotfailtoinspireherwiththemosthorribleresolutions。HespoketoheraboutM。G————M————，anoldvoluptuary，whopaidprodigallyforhispleasures；hesoglowinglydescribedtheadvantagesofsuchaconnection，thatsheenteredintoallhisplans。Thisdiscreditablearrangementwasallconcludedbeforemyreturn，andtheexecutionofitonlypostponedtillthenextmorning，afterLescautshouldhaveapprisedG————M————。
"Ifoundhim，onmyreturn，waitingformeatmyhouse；butManonhadretiredtoherownapartment，andshehaddesiredthefootmantotellmethat，havingneedofrepose，shehopedsheshouldnotbedisturbedthatnight。Lescautleftme，afterofferingmeafewcrownswhichIaccepted。
"Itwasnearlyfouro’clockwhenIretiredtobed；andhavingrevolvedinmymindvariousschemesforretrievingmyfortunes，I
fellasleepsolatethatIdidnotawaketillbetweenelevenandtwelveo’clock。IroseatoncetoenquireafterManon’shealth；
theytoldmethatshehadgoneoutanhourbeforewithherbrother，whohadcomeforherinahiredcarriage。Althoughthereappearedsomethingmysteriousinsuchaproceeding，I
endeavouredtocheckmyrisingsuspicions。Iallowedsomehourstopass，duringwhichIamusedmyselfwithreading。Atlength，beingunableanylongertostiflemyuneasiness，Ipacedupanddowntheapartments。AsealedletteruponManon’stableatlastcaughtmyeye。Itwasaddressedtome，andinherhandwriting。
IfeltmybloodfreezeasIopenedit；itwasinthesewords：
Iprotesttoyou，dearestchevalier，thatyouaretheidolofmyheart，andthatyouaretheonlybeingonearthwhomIcantrulylove；butdoyounotsee，myownpoordearchevalier，thatinthesituationtowhichwearenowreduced，fidelitywouldbeworsethanmadness？Doyouthinktendernesspossiblycompatiblewithstarvation？Formypart，hungerwouldbesuretodrivemetosomefatalend。Heavingsomedayasighforlove，Ishouldfinditwasmylast。Iadoreyou，relyuponthat；butleavetome，forashortwhile，themanagementofourfortunes。Godhelpthemanwhofallsintomyhands。Myonlywishistorendermychevalierrichandhappy。Mybrotherwilltellyouaboutme；hecanvouchformygriefinyieldingtothenecessityofpartingfromyou。
"Iremained，afterreadingthis，inastatewhichitwouldbedifficulttodescribe；forevennowIknownotthenatureofthefeelingswhichthenagitatedme。Itwasoneofthoseuniquesituationsofwhichotherscanneverhaveexperiencedanythingevenapproachingtosimilarity。Itisimpossibletoexplainit，becauseotherpersonscanhavenoideaofitsnature；andonecanhardlyevenanalyseittooneself。Memoryfurnishesnothingthatwillconnectitwiththepast，andthereforeordinarylanguageisinadequatetodescribeit。Whateverwasitsnature，however，itiscertainthatgrief，hate，jealousy，andshameenteredintoitscomposition。Fortunatewouldithaveprovedformeiflovealsohadnotbeenacomponentpart！
"`Thatshelovesme，’Iexclaimed，`Icanbelieve；butcouldshe，withoutbeingamonster，hateme？Whatrightcanmaneverhavetowoman’saffectionswhichIhadnottoManon’s？Whatislefttome，afterallthesacrificesIhavemadeforhersake？
Yetsheabandonsme，andtheungratefulcreaturethinkstoscreenherselffrommyreproachesbyprofessionsoflove！Shepretendstodreadstarvation！Godoflove，whatgrossnessofsentiment！
Whatananswertotherefinementofmyadoration！Ihadnodreadofthatkind；I，whohavealmostsoughtstarvationforhersake，byrenouncingfortuneandthecomfortsofmyfather’shouse！I，whodeniedmyselfactualnecessaries，inordertogratifyherlittlewhimsandcaprices！Sheadoresme，shesays。Ifyouadoredme，ungratefulcreature，Iwellknowwhatcourseyouwouldhavetaken；youwouldneverhavequittedme，atleastwithoutsayingadieu。ItisonlyIwhocantellthepangsandtorments，ofbeingseparatedfromalloneloves。Imusthavetakenleaveofmysenses，tohavevoluntarilybroughtallthismiseryuponmyself。’
"MylamentationswereinterruptedbyavisitIlittleexpected；
itwasfromLescaut。`Assassin！’criedI，puttingmyhanduponmysword，`whereisManon？whathaveyoudonewithher？’Myagitationstartledhim。Hereplied，thatifthiswasthereceptionhewastomeet，whenhecametooffermethemostessentialserviceitwasinhispowertorenderme，heshouldtakehisleave，andneveragaincrossmythreshold。Irantothedooroftheapartment，whichIshut。`Donotimagine，’Isaid，turningtowardshim，`thatyoucanoncemoremakeadupeofmewithyourliesandinventions。Eitherdefendyourlife，ortellmewhereIcanfindManon。’`Howimpatientyouare！’repliedhe；
`thatwasinrealitytheobjectofmyvisit。Icametoannounceapieceofgoodfortunewhichyoulittleexpected，andforwhichyouwillprobablyfeelsomewhatgrateful。’Mycuriositywasatonceexcited。
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