Thiswasthebeginningofanintimacywhichsoondisplacedallceremony。Itwasverypleasanttogointhereafterdinner，eventositwiththecoloneloverhisclaret，andhearmorestoriesaboutBingo;forafterwardIcouldgointotheprettydrawing-roomandtakemyteafromLilian’shands，andlistenwhilesheplayedSchuberttousinthesummertwilight。
Thepoodlewasalwaysintheway，tobesure，butevenhisuglyblackheadseemedtolosesomeofitsuglinessandferocitywhenLilianlaidherprettyhandonit。
Onthewhole，IthinkthattheCurriefamilywerewelldisposedtowardme，thecolonelconsideringmeasaharmlessspecimenoftheaverageeligibleyoungman，——whichIcertainlywas，——andMrs。Currieshowingmefavourformymother’ssake，forwhomshehadtakenastrongliking。
AsforLilian，IbelievedIsawthatshesoonsuspectedthestateofmyfeelingstowardher，andwasnotdispleasedbyit。IlookedforwardwithsomehopefulnesstoadaywhenIcoulddeclaremyselfwithnofearofarepulse。
ButitwasaseriousobstacleinmypaththatIcouldnotsecureBingo’sgoodopiniononanyterms。Thefamilywouldoftenlamentthispatheticallythemselves。"Yousee，"Mrs。Curriewouldobserveinapology，"Bingoisadogthatdoesnotattachhimselfeasilytostrangers"——though，forthatmatter，Ithoughthewasunpleasantlyreadytoattachhimselfto/me/。
Ididtryhardtoconciliatehim。Ibroughthimpropitiatorybuns，whichwasweakandineffectual，asheatethemwithavidity，andhatedmeasbitterlyasever;forhehadconceivedfromthefirstaprofoundcontemptforme，andadistrustwhichnoblandishmentsofminecouldremove。Lookingbacknow，Iaminclinedtothinkitwasapropheticinstinctthatwarnedhimofwhatwastocomeuponhimthroughmyinstrumentality。
OnlyhisapprobationwaswantingtoestablishformeafirmfootingwiththeCurries，andperhapsdetermineLilian’swaveringheartinmydirection;but，thoughIwooedthatinflexiblepoodlewithanassiduityIblushtoremember，heremainedobstinatelyfirm。
Still，daybyday，Lilian’streatmentofmewasmoreencouraging;daybydayIgainedintheesteemofheruncleandaunt;IbegantohopethatsoonIshouldbeabletodisregardcanineinfluencealtogether。
Nowtherewasoneinconvenienceaboutourvilla（besidesitsflavourofsuicide）whichitisnecessarytomentionhere。Bycommonconsentallthecatsoftheneighbourhoodhadselectedourgardenfortheireveningreunions。Ifancythatatortoise-shellkitchencatofoursmusthavebeenasortofleaderoflocalfelinesociety——Iknowshewas"athome，"withmusicandrecitations，onmostevenings。
Mypoormotherfoundthistointerferewithherafter-dinnernap，andnowonder;forifacohortofghostshadbeen"shriekingandsquealing，"asCalpurniaputsit，inourbackgarden，orithadbeenfittedupasacrecheforanurseryofgoblininfantsintheagoniesofteething，thenoisecouldnotpossiblyhavebeenmoreunearthly。
Wesoughtforsomemeansofgettingridofthenuisance：therewaspoison，ofcourse;butwethoughtitwouldhaveaninvidiousappearance，andevenleadtolegaldifficulties，ifeachdawnweretodiscoveranassortmentofcatsexpiringinhideousconvulsionsinvariouspartsofthesamegarden。
Firearmstoowereopentoobjection，andwouldscarcelyassistmymother’sslumbers;soforsometimewewereatalossforaremedy。Atlast，oneday，walkingdowntheStrand，Ichancedtosee（inanevilhour）whatstruckmeastheverything：itwasanair-gunofsuperiorconstruction，displayedinagunsmith’swindow。Iwentinatonce，purchasedit，andtookithomeintriumph;itwouldbenoiseless，andwouldreducethelocalaverageofcatswithoutscandal，——oneortwoexamples，——andfelinefashionwouldsoonmigratetoamoresecludedspot。
Ilostnotimeinputtingthistotheproof。ThatsameeveningIlayinwaitafterduskatthestudywindow，protectingmymother’srepose。
AssoonasIheardthelong-drawnwail，thepreliminarysputter，andthewildstampedethatfollowed，Iletflyinthedirectionofthesound。IsupposeImusthavesomethingofthenationalsportinginstinctinme，formybloodwastinglingwithexcitement;butthefelineconstitutionassimilatesleadwithoutseriousinconvenience，andIbegantofearthatnotrophywouldremaintobearwitnesstomymarksmanship。
ButallatonceImadeoutadark，indistinctformslinkinginfrombehindthebushes。Iwaitedtillitcrossedabeltoflightwhichstreamedfromthebackkitchenbelowme，andthenItookcarefulaimandpulledthetrigger。
ThistimeatleastIhadnotfailed;therewasasmotheredyell，arustle，andthensilenceagain。Iranoutwiththecalmprideofasuccessfulrevengetobringinthebodyofmyvictim，andIfoundunderneathalaurelnopredatorytom-cat，but（asthediscerningreaderwillnodoubthaveforeseenlongsince）thequiveringcarcassofthecolonel’sblackpoodle！
Iintendtosetdownheretheexactunvarnishedtruth，andIconfessthatatfirst，whenIknewwhatIhaddone，Iwas/not/sorry。Iwasquiteinnocentofanyintentionofdoingit，butIfeltnoregret。I
evenlaughed——madmanthatIwas——atthethoughtthattherewastheendofBingo，atallevents;thatimpedimentwasremoved;mywearytaskofconciliationwasoverforever！
Butsoonthereactioncame;Irealisedthetremendousnatureofmydeed，andshuddered。IhaddonethatwhichmightbanishmefromLilian’ssideforever！AllunwittinglyIhadslaughteredakindofsacredbeast，theanimalaroundwhichtheCurriehouseholdhadwreathedtheirchoicestaffections！HowwasItobreakittothem？
ShouldIsendBingoin，withacardtiedtohisneckandmyregretsandcompliments？Thatwastoomuchlikeapresentofgame。OughtInottocarryhiminmyself？Iwouldwreathehiminthebestcrape，Iwouldputonblackforhim;theCurrieswouldhardlyconsiderataperandawhitesheet，orsack-clothandashes，anexcessiveformofatonement，butIcouldnotgroveltoquitesuchanabjectextent。
Iwonderedwhatthecolonelwouldsay。Simpleandhearty，asageneralrule，hehadahottemperonoccasions，anditmademeillasI
thought，wouldheand，worsestill，would/Lilian/believeitwasreallyanaccident？TheyknewwhataninterestIhadinsilencingthedeceasedpoodle——wouldtheybelievethesimpletruth？
Ivowedthatthey/should/believeme。Mygenuineremorseandtheabsenceofallconcealmentonmypartwouldspeakpowerfullyforme。I
wouldchooseafavourabletimeformyconfession;thatveryeveningI
wouldtellall。
StillIshrankfromthedutybeforeme，and，asIkneltdownsorrowfullybythedeadformandrespectfullycomposedhisstiffeninglimbs，Ithoughtthatitwasunjustoffatetoplaceawell-meaningman，whosenerveswerenotofiron，insuchaposition。
Then，tomyhorror，Iheardawell-knownringingtrampontheroadoutside，andsmelledthepeculiarfragranceofaBurmesecheroot。Itwasthecolonelhimself，whohadbeentakingoutthedoomedBingoforhisusualeveningrun。
Idon’tknowhowitwas，exactly，butasuddenpaniccameoverme。I
heldmybreath，andtriedtocrouchdownunseenbehindthelaurels;
buthehadseenme，andcameoveratoncetospeaktomeacrossthehedge。
Hestoodthere，nottwoyardsfromhisfavourite’sbody！Fortunatelyitwasunusuallydarkthatevening。
"Ha，thereyouare，eh！"hebegan，heartily;"don’trise，myboy，don’trise。"
Iwastryingtoputmyselfinfrontofthepoodle，anddidnotrise——
atleast，onlymyhairdid。
"You’reoutlate，ain’tyou？"hewenton;"layingoutyourgarden，hey？"
IcouldnottellhimthatIwaslayingouthispoodle！Myvoiceshookas，withaguiltyconfusionthatwasveiledbythedusk，Isaiditwasafineevening——whichitwasnot。
"Cloudy，sir，"saidthecolonel，"cloudy;rainbeforemorning，I
think。Bytheway，haveyouseenanythingofBingoinhere？"
Thiswastheturning-point。WhatI/ought/tohavedonewastosaymournfully，"Yes，I’msorrytosayI’vehadamostunfortunateaccidentwithhim。Hereheis;thefactis，I’mafraidI’ve/shot/
him！"
ButIcouldn’t。Icouldhavetoldhimatmyowntime，inapreparedformofwords——butnotthen。IfeltImustuseallmywitstogaintime，andfencewiththequestions。
"Why，"Isaid，withaleadenairiness，"hehasn’tgivenyoutheslip，hashe？"
"Neverdidsuchathinginhislife！"saidthecolonel，warmly;"herushedoffafteraratorafrogorsomethingafewminutesago，andasIstoppedtolightanothercherootIlostsightofhim。IthoughtI
sawhimslipinunderyourgate，butI’vebeencallinghimfromthefrontthereandhewon’tcomeout。"
No，andhenever/would/comeoutanymore。Butthecolonelmustnotbetoldthatjustyet。Itemporisedagain："If，"Isaid，unsteadily——
"ifhehadslippedinunderthegateIshouldhaveseenhim。Perhapshetookitintohisheadtorunhome？"
"Oh，Ishallfindhimonthedoor-step，Iexpect，theknowingoldscamp！Why，whatd’yethinkwasthelastthinghedid，now？"
Icouldhavegivenhimtheverylatestintelligence，butIdarednot。
However，itwasaltogethertooghastlytokneelthereandlaughatanecdotesofBingotoldacrossBingo’sdeadbody;Icouldnotstandthat。"Listen，"Isaid，suddenly，"wasn’tthathisbark？There，again;
itseemstocomefromthefrontofyourhouse，don’tyouthink？"
"Well，"saidthecolonel，"I’llgoandfastenhimupbeforehe’soffagain。Howyourteetharechattering！You’vecaughtachill，man;goindoorsatonce，and，ifyoufeelequaltoit，lookinhalfanhourlater，aboutgrog-time，andI’lltellyouallaboutit。Complimentstoyourmother。Don’tforget——aboutgrog-time！"
Ihadgotridofhimatlast，andIwipedmyforehead，gaspingwithrelief。Iwouldgoroundinhalfanhour，andthenIshouldbepreparedtomakemymelancholyannouncement。For，eventhen，Ineverthoughtofanyothercourse，untilsuddenlyitflasheduponmewithterribleclearnessthatmymiserableshufflingbythehedgehadmadeitimpossibletotellthetruth！Ihadnottoldadirectlie，tobesure，butthenIhadgiventhecoloneltheimpressionthatIhaddeniedhavingseenthedog。Manypeoplecanappeasetheirconsciencesbyreflectingthat，whatevermaybetheeffecttheirwordsproduce，theydidcontrivetosteerclearofadownrightlie。Ineverquiteknewwherethedistinctionlaymorally，butthere/is/thatfeeling——I
haveitmyself。
Unfortunately，prevaricationhasthisdrawback：that，ifeverthetruthcomestolight，theprevaricatorisinjustthesamecaseasifhehadliedtothemostshamelessextent，andforamantopointoutthatthewordsheusedcontainednoabsolutefalsehoodwillseldomrestoreconfidence。
Imight，ofcourse，stilltellthecolonelofmymisfortune，andleavehimtoinferthatithadhappenedafterourinterview;butthepoodlewasfastbecomingcoldandstiff，andtheywouldmostprobablysuspecttherealtimeoftheoccurrence。
AndthenLilianwouldhearthatIhadtoldastringoffalsehoodstoheruncleoverthedeadbodyoftheiridolisedBingo——anact，nodoubt，ofabominabledesecration，ofunspeakableprofanity，inhereyes。
Ifitwouldhavebeendifficultbeforetoprevailonhertoacceptablood-stainedhand，itwouldbeimpossibleafterthat。No，Ihadburnedmyships，Iwascutoffforeverfromthestraightforwardcourse;thatonemomentofindecisionhaddecidedmyconductinspiteofme;Imustgoonwithitnow，andkeepupthedeceptionatallhazards。
Itwasbitter。Ihadalwaystriedtopreserveasmanyofthemoralprincipleswhichhadbeeninstilledintomeascanbeconvenientlyretainedinthisgraspingworld，andithadbeenmypridethat，roughlyspeaking，Ihadneverbeenguiltyofanunmistakablefalsehood。
Buthenceforth，ifImeanttowinLilian，thatboastmustberelinquishedforever。Ishouldhavetolienowwithallmymight，withoutlimitorscruple，todissembleincessantly，and"wearamask，"
asthepoetBunnbeautifullyexpresseditlongago，"overmyhollowheart。"Ifeltallthiskeenly;Ididnotthinkitwasright，butwhatwasItodo？
Afterthinkingallthisoutverycarefully，Idecidedthatmyonlycoursewastoburythepooranimalwherehefell，andsaynothingaboutit。Withsomevagueideaofprecaution，Ifirsttookoffthesilvercollarhewore，andthenhastilyinterredhimwithagarden-
trowel，andsucceededinremovingalltracesofthedisaster。
IfancyIfeltacertainreliefintheknowledgethattherewouldnowbenonecessitytotellmypitifulstoryandriskthelossofmyneighbours’esteem。
By-and-by，Ithought，Iwouldplantarose-treeoverhisremains，andsomeday，asLilianandI，inthenoontideofourdomesticbliss，stoodbeforeitadmiringitscreamyluxuriance，Imight（perhaps）findcouragetoconfessthatthetreeowedsomeofthatluxuriancetothelong-lostBingo。
Therewasatouchofpoetryinthisideathatlightenedmygloomforthemoment。
IneedscarcelysaythatIdidnotgoroundtoShuturgardenthatevening。Iwasnothardenedenoughforthatyet;mymannermightbetrayme，andsoIveryprudentlystayedathome。
Butthatnightmysleepwasbrokenbyfrightfuldreams。Iwasperpetuallytryingtoburyagreat，gauntpoodle，whichwouldpersistinrisingupthroughthedampmouldasfastasIcoveredhimup……
LilianandIwereengaged，andwewereinchurchtogetheronSunday，andthepoodle，resistingallattemptstoejecthim，forbadeourbanswithsepulchralbarks……Itwasourwedding-day，andatthecriticalmomentthepoodleleapedbetweenusandswallowedthering……Orwewereatthewedding-breakfast，andBingo，agrislyblackskeletonwithflamingeyes，satonthecakeandwouldnotallowLiliantocutit。Eventherose-treefancywasreproducedinadistortedform——thetreegrew，andeveryblossomcontainedaminiatureBingo，whichbarked;andasIwokeIwasdesperatelytryingtopersuadethecolonelthattheywereordinarydog-roses。
Iwentuptotheofficenextdaywithmygloomysecretgnawingmybosom，and，whateverIdid，thespectreofthemurderedpoodlerosebeforeme。FortwodaysafterthatIdarednotgoneartheCurries，untilatlastoneeveningafterdinnerIforcedmyselftocall，feelingthatitwasreallynotsafetokeepawayanylonger。
MyconsciencesmotemeasIwentin。Iputonanunconscious，easymanner，whichwassuchadismalfailurethatitwasluckyformethattheyweretoomuchengrossedtonoticeit。
IneverbeforesawafamilysostrickendownbyadomesticmisfortuneasthegroupIfoundinthedrawing-room，makingadejectedpretenceofreadingorworking。Wetalkedatfirst——andhollowtalkitwas——onindifferentsubjects，tillIcouldbearitnolonger，andplungedboldlyintodanger。
"Idon’tseethedog，"Ibegan，"Isupposeyou——youfoundhimallrighttheotherevening，colonel？"Iwondered，asIspoke，whethertheywouldnotnoticethebreakinmyvoice，buttheydidnot。
"Why，thefactis，"saidthecolonel，heavily，gnawinghisgraymoustache，"we’venotheardanythingofhimsince;he’s——he’srunoff！"
"Gone，Mr。Weatherhead;gonewithoutaword！"saidMrs。Currie，plaintively，asifshethoughtthedogmightatleasthaveleftanaddress。
"Iwouldn’thavebelieveditofhim，"saidthecolonel;"ithascompletelyknockedmeover。Haven’tbeensocutupforyears——theungratefulrascal！"
"Ouncle！"pleadedLilian，"don’ttalklikethat;perhapsBingocouldn’thelpit——perhapssomeonehass-s-shothim！"
"Shot！"criedthecolonel，angrily。"Byheaven！ifIthoughttherewasavillainonearthcapableofshootingthatpoorinoffensivedog，I’d——Why/should/theyshoothim，Lilian？Tellmethat！I——Ihopeyouwon’tletmehearyoutalklikethatagain。/You/don’tthinkhe’sshot，eh，Weatherhead？"
Isaid——Heavenforgiveme！——thatIthoughtithighlyimprobable。
"He’snotdead！"criedMrs。Currie。"IfheweredeadIshouldknowitsomehow——I’msureIshould！ButI’mcertainhe’salive。OnlylastnightIhadsuchabeautifuldreamabouthim。Ithoughthecamebacktous，Mr。Weatherhead，drivingupinahansom-cab，andhewasjustthesameasever——onlyheworebluespectacles，andtheshavedpartofhimwaspaintedabrightred。AndIwokeupwiththejoy——so，youknow，it’ssuretocometrue！"
Itwillbeeasilyunderstoodwhattortureconversationsliketheseweretome，andhowIhatedmyselfasIsympathisedandspokeencouragingwordsconcerningthedog’srecovery，whenIknewallthetimehewaslyinghidundermygardenmould。ButItookitasapartofmypunishment，andboreitalluncomplainingly;practiceevenmademeanadeptintheartofconsolation——IbelieveIreallywasagreatcomforttothem。
Ihadhopedthattheywouldsoongetoverthefirstbitternessoftheirloss，andthatBingowouldbefirstreplacedandthenforgottenintheusualway;butthereseemednosignsofthiscomingtopass。
Thepoorcolonelwastooplainlyfrettinghimselfillaboutit;hewentpotteringaboutforlornly，advertising，searching，andseeingpeople，butall，ofcourse，tonopurpose;andittolduponhim。HewasmorelikeamanwhoseonlysonandheirhadbeenstolenthananAnglo-Indianofficerwhohadlostapoodle。Ihadtoaffecttheliveliestinterestinallhisinquiriesandexpeditions，andtolistentoandechothemostextravaganteulogiesofthedeparted;andthewearandtearofsomuchduplicitymademeatlastalmostasillasthecolonelhimself。
IcouldnothelpseeingthatLilianwasnotnearlysomuchimpressedbymyelaborateconcernasherrelatives，andsometimesIdetectedanincredulouslookinherfrankbrowneyesthatmademeveryuneasy。
Littlebylittle，ariftwidenedbetweenus，untilatlastindespairIdeterminedtoknowtheworstbeforethetimecamewhenitwouldbehopelesstospeakatall。IchoseaSundayeveningaswewerewalkingacrossthegreenfromchurchinthegoldendusk，andthenIventuredtospeaktoherofmylove。Sheheardmetotheend，andwasevidentlyverymuchagitated。Atlastshemurmuredthatitcouldnotbe，unless——no，itnevercouldbenow。
"Unless，what？"Iasked。"Lilian——MissRoseblade，somethinghascomebetweenuslately;youwilltellmewhatthatsomethingis，won’tyou？"
"Doyouwanttoknow/really/？"shesaid，lookingupatmethroughhertears。"ThenI’lltellyou;it——it’sBingo！"
Istartedbackoverwhelmed。Didsheknowall？Ifnot，howmuchdidshesuspect？Imustfindoutthatatonce。"WhataboutBingo？"Imanagedtopronounce，withadrytongue。
"Youneverl-lovedhimwhenhewashere，"shesobbed;"youknowyoudidn’t！"
Iwasrelievedtofinditwasnoworsethanthis。
"No，"Isaid，candidly;"IdidnotloveBingo。Bingodidn’tlove/me/，Lilian;hewasalwayslookingoutforachanceofnippingmesomewhere。Surelyyouwon’tquarrelwithmeforthat！"
"Notforthat，"shesaid;"only，whydoyoupretendtobesofondofhimnow，andsoanxioustogethimbackagain？UncleJohnbelievesyou，but/I/don’t。Icanseequitewellthatyouwouldn’tbegladtofindhim。Youcouldfindhimeasilyifyouwantedto！"
"Whatdoyoumean，Lilian？"Isaid，hoarsely。"/How/couldIfindhim？"AgainIfearedtheworst。
"You’reinagovernmentoffice，"criedLilian，"andifyouonlychose，youcouldeasilyg-getg-governmenttofindBingo！What’stheuseofgovernmentifitcan’tdothat？Mr。TraverswouldhavefoundhimlongagoifI’daskedhim！"
Lilianhadneverbeensochildishlyunreasonableasthisbefore，andyetIlovedhermoremadlythanever;butIdidnotlikethisallusiontoTravers，arisingbarrister，wholivedwithhissisterinaprettycottagenearthestation，andhadshownsymptomsofbeingattractedbyLilian。
Hewasawayoncircuitjustthen，luckily;but，atleast，evenhewouldhavefounditahardtasktofindBingo——therewascomfortinthat。
"Youknowthatisn’tjust，Lilian，"Iobserved;"butonlytellmewhatyouwantmetodo。"
"Bub-bub-bringbackBingo！"shesaid。
"BringbackBingo！"Icried，inhorror。"ButsupposeI/can’t/——
supposehe’soutofthecountry，or——dead，whatthenLilian？"
"Ican’thelpit，"shesaid，"butIdon’tbelievehe/is/outofthecountryordead。AndwhileIseeyoupretendingtounclethatyoucaredawfullyabouthim，andgoingondoingnothingatall，itmakesmethinkyou’renotquite——quite/sincere/！AndIcouldn’tpossiblymarryanyonewhileIthoughtthatofhim。AndIshallalwayshavethatfeelingunlessyoufindBingo！"
Itwasofnousetoarguewithher;IknewLilianbythattime。Withherpretty，caressingmannersheunitedalatentobstinacywhichitwashopelesstoattempttoshake。Ifeared，too，thatshewasnotquitecertainasyetwhethershecaredformeornot，andthatthisconditionofherswasanexpedienttogaintime。
Ileftherwithaheavyheart。UnlessIprovedmyworthbybringingbackBingowithinaveryshorttime，Traverswouldprobablyhaveeverythinghisownway。AndBingowasdead！
However，Itookheart。IthoughtthatperhapsifIcouldsucceedbymyearnesteffortsinpersuadingLilianthatIreallywasdoingallinmypowertorecoverthepoodle，shemightrelentintime，anddispensewithhisactualproduction。
So，partlywiththisobject，andpartlytoappeasetheremorsewhichnowrevivedandstungmedeeperthanbefore，Iundertooklongandwearypilgrimagesafterofficehours。Ispentmanypoundsinadvertisements;Iintervieweddogsofeverysize，colour，andbreed，andofcourseItookcaretokeepLilianinformedofeachsuccessivefailure。Butstillherheartwasnottouched;shewasfirm。IfIwentonlikethat，shetoldme，IwascertaintofindBingooneday;then，butnotbefore，wouldherdoubtsbesetatrest。
IwaswalkingonedaythroughthesomewhatsqualiddistrictwhichliesbetweenBowStreetandHighHolborn，whenIsaw，inasmalltheatricalcostumer’swindow，ahand-billstatingthatablackpoodlehad"followedagentleman"onacertaindate，andifnotclaimedandthefinderremuneratedbeforeastatedtimewouldbesoldtopayexpenses。
IwentinandgotacopyofthebilltoshowLilian，and，althoughbythattimeIscarcelydaredtolookapoodleintheface，IthoughtI
wouldgototheaddressgivenandseetheanimal，simplytobeabletotellLilianIhaddoneso。
ThegentlemanwhomthedoghadveryunaccountablyfollowedwasacertainMr。WilliamBlagg，whokeptalittleshopnearEndellStreet，andcalledhimselfabird-fancier，thoughIshouldscarcelyhavecreditedhimwiththenecessaryimagination。Hewasanevil-browedruffianinafurcap，withabroadbrokennoseandlittleshiftyredeyes;andafterIhadtoldhimwhatIwantedhetookmethroughahorriblelittleden，stackedwithpilesofwooden，wire，andwickerprisons，eachquiveringwithrestless，twitteringlife，andthenoutintoabackyard，inwhichweretwoorthreerottenoldkennelsandtubs。"Thatthere’shim，"hesaid，jerkinghisthumbtothefarthesttub;"folleredmealltheway’omefromKinsingtonGardens，/he/did。
Kimout，willyer？"
Andoutofthetubtherecrawledslowly，withasnufflingwhimperandarattlingofitschain，theidenticaldogIhadslainafeweveningsbefore！
Atleast，soIthoughtforamoment，andfeltasifIhadseenaspectre;theresemblancewassoexact——insize，ineverydetail，eventothelittleclumpsofhairaboutthehindparts，eventothelopofhalfanear，thisdogmighthavebeenthe/doppelganger/ofthedeceasedBingo。Isuppose，afterall，oneblackpoodleisverylikeanyotherblackpoodleofthesamesize，butthelikenessstartledme。
Ithinkitwasthenthattheideaoccurredtomethatherewasamiraculouschanceofsecuringthesweetestgirlinthewholeworld，andatthesametimeatoningformywrongbybringingbackgladnesswithmetoShuturgarden。Itonlyneededalittleboldness;onelastdeception，andIcouldembracetruthfulnessoncemore。
Almostunconsciously，whenmyguideturnedroundandasked，"Isthattheredawgyourn？"Isaidhurriedly，"Yes，yes;that’sthedogIwant;
that——that’sBingo！"
"Hedon’tseemtobea-puttin’of’isselfoutaboutseein’youagain，"
observedMr。Blagg，asthepoodlestudiedmewithcalminterest。
"Oh，he’snotexactly/my/dog，yousee，"Isaid;"hebelongstoafriendofmine！"
Hegavemeaquick，furtiveglance。"Thenmaybeyou’remistookabouthim，"hesaid，"andIcan’trunnorisks。Iwasa-goin’downinthecountrythis’erewerryevenin’toseeapartyaslivesatWistariaWilla;he’sbeena-hadwertisin’aboutablackpoodle，/he/has！"
"Butlookhere，"Isaid;"that’s/me/。"
Hegavemeacuriousleer。"Nooffence，youknow，guv’nor，"hesaid，"butIshouldwishforsomeevidenceastothataforeIpartwithavallyabledawglikethis’ere！"
"Well，"Isaid，"here’soneofmycards;willthatdoforyou？"
Hetookitandspelleditoutwithapretenceofgreatcaution;butI
sawwellenoughthattheoldschoundrelsuspectedthatifIhadlostadogatallitwasnotthisparticulardog。"Ah，"hesaid，asheputitinhispocket，"ifIpartwithhimtoyouImustbeclearedofallrisks。Ican’taffordtogetintotroubleaboutnomistakes。Unlessyoulikestoleavehimforadayortwoyoumustpayaccordin’，yousee。"
Iwantedtogetthehatefulbusinessoverassoonaspossible。IdidnotcarewhatIpaid——Lilianwasworthalltheexpense！IsaidIhadnodoubtmyselfastotherealownershipoftheanimal，butIwouldgivehimanysuminreason，andwouldremovethedogatonce。
Andsowesettledit。Ipaidhimanextortionatesum，andcameawaywithaduplicatepoodle，acaninecounterfeit，whichIhopedtopassoffatShuturgardenasthelong-lostBingo。
Iknowitwaswrong，——itevencameunpleasantlyneardog-stealing，——
butIwasadesperateman。IsawLiliangraduallyslippingawayfromme，Iknewthatnothingshortofthiscouldeverrecallher，Iwassorelytempted，Ihadgonefaronthesameroadalready;itwastheoldstoryofbeinghungforasheep。AndsoIfell。
Surelysomewhoreadthiswillbegenerousenoughtoconsiderthepeculiarstateofthecase，andminglealittlepitywiththeircontempt。
Iwasdiningintownthatevening，andtookmypurchasehomebyalatetrain;hisdemeanourwasgraveandintenselyrespectable;hewasnottheanimaltocommithimselfbyanyflagrantindiscretion;hewasgentleandtractabletoo，andinallrespectsanagreeablecontrastincharactertotheoriginal。Still，itmayhavebeentheafter-dinnerworkingsofconscience，butIcouldnothelpfancyingthatIsawacertainlookinthecreature’seyes，asifhewereawarethathewasrequiredtoconniveatafraud，andratherresentedit。
Ifhewouldonlybegoodenoughtobackmeup！Fortunately，however，hewassuchaperfectfacsimileoftheoutwardBingothattheriskofdetectionwasreallyinconsiderable。
WhenIgothimhomeIputBingo’ssilvercollarroundhisneck，congratulatingmyselfonmyforethoughtinpreservingit，andtookhimintoseemymother。Sheacceptedhimaswhatheseemedwithouttheslightestmisgiving;butthis，thoughitencouragedmetogoon，wasnotdecisive——thespuriouspoodlewouldhavetoencounterthescrutinyofthosewhokneweverytuftonthegenuineanimal’sbody！
NothingwouldhaveinducedmetoundergosuchanordealasthatofpersonallyrestoringhimtotheCurries。Wegavehimsupper，andtiedhimuponthelawn，wherehehowleddolefullyallnightandburiedbones。
ThenextmorningIwroteanotetoMrs。Currie，expressingmypleasureatbeingabletorestorethelostone，andanothertoLilian，containingonlythewords，"Willyoubelieve/now/thatIamsincere？"
ThenItiedbothroundthepoodle’sneck，anddroppedhimoverthewallintothecolonel’sgardenjustbeforeIstartedtocatchmytraintotown。
Ihadananxiouswalkhomefromthestationthatevening;Iwentroundbythelongerway，tremblingthewholetimelestIshouldmeetanyoftheCurriehousehold，towhichIfeltmyselfentirelyunequaljustthen。IcouldnotrestuntilIknewwhethermyfraudhadsucceeded，orifthepoodletowhichIhadintrustedmyfatehadbaselybetrayedme;
butmysuspensewashappilyendedassoonasIenteredmymother’sroom。"Youcan’tthinkhowdelightedthosepoorCurriesweretoseeBingoagain，"shesaidatonce;"andtheysaidsuchcharmingthingsaboutyou，Algy——Lilianparticularly;quiteaffectedsheseemed，poorchild！Andtheywantedyoutogoroundanddinethereandbethankedto-night，butatlastIpersuadedthemtocometousinstead。Andthey’regoingtobringthedogtomakefriends。Oh，andImetFrankTravers;he’sbackfromcircuitagainnow，soIaskedhimintootomeetthem！"
Idrewadeepbreathofrelief。Ihadplayedadesperategame，butI
hadwon！Icouldhavewished，tobesure，thatmymotherhadnotthoughtofbringinginTraversonthatofallevenings，butIhopedthatIcoulddefyhimafterthis。
Thecolonelandhispeoplewerethefirsttoarrive，heandhiswifebeingsoeffusivelygratefulthattheymademeveryuncomfortableindeed;Lilianmetmewithdowncasteyesandthefaintestpossibleblush，butshesaidnothingjustthen。Fiveminutesafterward，whensheandIwerealonetogetherintheconservatory，whereIhadbroughtheronpretenceofshowinganewbegonia，shelaidherhandonmysleeveandwhispered，almostshyly，"Mr。Weatherhead——Algernon！Canyoueverforgivemeforbeingsocruelandunjusttoyou？"AndI
repliedthat，uponthewhole，Icould。
Wewerenotintheconservatorylong，butbeforeweleftitbeautifulLilianRosebladehadconsentedtomakemylifehappy。Whenwereenteredthedrawing-roomwefoundFrankTravers，whohadbeentoldthestoryoftherecovery;andIobservedhisjawfallasheglancedatourfaces，andnotedthetriumphantsmilewhichIhavenodoubtminewore，andthetender，dreamylookinLilian’ssofteyes。PoorTravers！Iwassorryforhim，althoughIwasnotfondofhim。Traverswasagoodtypeofrisingyoungcommon-lawbarrister，tall，notbad-
looking，withkeendarkeyes，blackwhiskers，andthemobileforensicmouthwhichcanexpresseveryshadeoffeeling，fromdeferentialassenttocynicalincredulity;possessed，too，ofanendlessflowofconversationthatwasdecidedlyagreeable，ifatriflingtoolaboriouslyso，hehadbeenadangerousrival。Butallthatwasovernow;hesawithimselfatonce，andduringdinnersankintodismalsilence，gazingpatheticallyatLilian，andsighingalmostobtrusivelybetweenthecourses。Hisstreamofsmalltalkseemedtohavebeencutoffatthemain。
"You’vedoneakindthing，Weatherhead，"saidthecolonel。"Ican’ttellyouallthatdogistome，andhowImissedthepoorbeast。I’dquitegivenupallhopeofeverseeinghimagain，andallthetimetherewasWeatherhead，Mr。Travers，quietlysearchingallLondontillhefoundhim！Isha’n’tforgetit。Itshowsareallykindfeeling。"
IsawbyTravers’sfacethathewastellinghimselfhewouldhavefoundfiftyBingosinhalfthetime——ifhehadonlythoughtofit;hesmiledamelancholyassenttoallthecolonelsaid，andthenbegantostudymewithanobviouslydepreciatoryair。
"Youcan’tthink，"IheardMrs。Currietellingmymother，"howreally/touching/itwastoseepoorBingo’semotionatseeingalltheoldfamiliarobjectsagain！Hewentupandsniffedatthemallinturn，quiteplainlyrecognisingeverything。Andhewasquiteputouttofindthatwehadmovedhisfavouriteottomanoutofthedrawing-room。Buthe/is/sopenitenttoo，andsoashamedofhavingrunaway;hekeptunderachairinthehallallthemorning;hewouldn’tcomeinhere，either，sowehadtoleavehiminyourgarden。"
"He’sbeensadlyoutofspiritsallday，"saidLilian;"hehasn’tbittenoneofthetradespeople。"
"Oh，/he’s/allright，therascal！"saidthecolonel，cheerily。"He’llbeafterthecatsagainaswellaseverinadayortwo。"
"Ah，thosecats！"saidmypoorinnocentmother。"Algy，youhaven’ttriedtheair-gunonthemagainlately，haveyou？They’reworsethanever。"
Itroubledthecoloneltopasstheclaret。Traverslaughedforthefirsttime。"That’sagoodidea，"hesaid，inthatcarrying"bar-mess"
voiceofhis;"anair-gunforcats，ha，ha！Makegoodbags，eh，Weatherhead？"IsaidthatIdid，/very/goodbags，andfeltIwasgettingpainfullyredintheface。
"Oh，Algyisanexcellentshot——quiteasportsman，"saidmymother。"I
remember，oh，longago，whenwelivedatHammersmith，hehadapistol，andheusedtostrewcrumbsinthegardenforthesparrows，andshootatthemoutofthepantrywindow;hefrequentlyhitone。"
"Well，"saidthecolonel，notmuchimpressedbythesesportingreminiscences，"don’tgorollingoverourBingobymistake，youknow，Weatherhead，myboy。Notbutwhatyou’veasortofrightafterthis——
onlydon’t。Iwouldn’tgothroughitalltwiceforanything。"
"Ifyoureallywon’ttakeanymorewine，"Isaid，hurriedly，addressingthecolonelandTravers，"supposeweallgooutandhaveourcoffeeonthelawn？It——itwillbecoolerthere。"Foritwasgettingveryhotindoors，Ithought。
IleftTraverstoamusetheladies——hecoulddonomoreharmnow;and，takingthecolonelaside，Iseizedtheopportunity，aswestrolledupanddownthegardenpath，toaskhisconsenttoLilian’sengagementtome。Hegaveitcordially。"There’snotamaninEngland，"hesaid，"thatI’dsoonerseehermarriedtoafterto-day。You’reaquiet，steadyyoungfellow，andyou’veagoodkindheart。Asforthemoney，that’sneitherherenorthere;Lilianwon’tcometoyouwithoutapenny，youknow。Butreally，myboy，youcanhardlybelievewhatitistomypoorwifeandmetoseethatdog。Why，blessmysoul，lookathimnow！What’sthematterwithhim，eh？"
Tomyunutterablehorror，Isawthatthatmiserablepoodle，afterbeggingunnoticedatthetea-tableforsometime，hadretiredtoanopenspacebeforeit，wherehewasindustriouslystandingonhishead。
Wegatheredroundandexaminedtheanimalcuriously，ashecontinuedtobalancehimselfgravelyinhisabnormalposition。"Goodgracious，John，"criedMrs。Currie，"IneversawBingodosuchathingbeforeinhislife！"
"Veryodd，"saidthecolonel，puttinguphisglasses;"neverlearnedthatfrom/me/。"
"ItellyouwhatIfancyitis，"Isuggestedwildly。"Yousee，hewasalwaysasensitive，excitableanimal，andperhapsthe——thesuddenjoyofhisreturnhasgonetohishead——/upset/him，youknow。"
Theyseemeddisposedtoacceptthissolution，and，indeed，IbelievetheywouldhavecreditedBingowitheveryconceivabledegreeofsensibility;butIfeltmyselfthatifthisunhappyanimalhadmanymoreoftheseaccomplishmentsIwasundone，fortheoriginalBingohadneverbeenadogofparts。
"It’sveryodd，"saidTravers，reflectively，asthedogrecoveredhisproperlevel，"butIalwaysthoughtthatitwashalfthe/right/earthatBingohadlost。"
"Soitis，isn’tit？"saidthecolonel。"Left，eh？Well，Ithoughtmyselfitwastheright。"
Myheartalmoststoppedwithterror;Ihadaltogetherforgottenthat。
Ihastenedtosetthepointatrest。"Oh，it/was/theleft，"Isaid，positively;"IknowitbecauseIremembersoparticularlythinkinghowodditwasthatit/should/betheleftear，andnottheright！"I
toldmyselfthisshouldbepositivelymylastlie。
"/Why/odd？"askedFrankTravers，withhismostoffensiveSocraticmanner。
"Mydearfellow，Ican’ttellyou，"Isaid，impatiently;"everythingseemsoddwhenyoucometothinkatallaboutit。"
"Algernon，"saidLilian，lateron，"willyoutellAuntMaryandMr。
Traversand——mehowitwasyoucametofindBingo？Mr。Traversisquiteanxioustohearallaboutit。"
Icouldnotverywellrefuse;Isatdownandtoldthestory，allmyownway。IpaintedBlaggperhapsratherbiggerandblackerthanlife，anddescribedanexcitingscene，inwhichIrecognisedBingobyhiscollarinthestreets，andclaimedandborehimoffthenandthereinspiteofallopposition。
IhadtheinexpressiblepleasureofseeingTraversgrindinghisteethwithenvyasIwenton，andfeelingLilian’ssoft，slenderhandglidesilentlyintomineasItoldmytaleinthetwilight。
Allatonce，justasIreachedtheclimax，weheardthepoodlebarkingfuriouslyatthehedgewhichseparatedmygardenfromtheroad。
"There’saforeign-lookingmanstaringoverthehedge，"saidLilian;
"Bingoalways/did/hateforeigners。"
Therecertainlywasaswarthymanthere，and，thoughIhadnoreasonforitthen，somehowmyheartdiedwithinmeatthesightofhim。
"Don’tbealarmed，sir，"criedthecolonel;"thedogwon’tbiteyou——
unlessthere’saholeinthehedgeanywhere。"
Thestrangertookoffhissmallstrawhatwithasweep。"Ah，Iamnotafraid，"hesaid，andhisaccentproclaimedhimaFrenchman;"heisnotenrageatme。MayIask，itispairmeettospeakvizMisterreVezzered？"
IfeltImustdealwiththispersonalone，forIfearedtheworst;
and，askingthemtoexcuseme，IwenttothehedgeandfacedtheFrenchmanwiththefrightfulcalmofdespair。Hewasashort，stoutlittleman，withbluecheeks，sparklingblackeyes，andavivaciouswalnut-colouredcountenance;heworeashortblackalpacacoat，andalargewhitecravat，withanimmenseovalmalachitebroochinthecentreofit，whichImentionbecauseIfoundmyselfstaringmechanicallyatitduringtheinterview。
"MynameisWeatherhead，"Ibeganwiththebearingofadetectedpickpocket。"CanIbeofanyservicetoyou？"
"Ofagreatservice，"hesaid，emphatically;"youcanrestoretomezepoodlevichIseezere！"
Nemesishadcalledatlastintheshapeofarivalclaimant。I
staggeredforaninstant;thenIsaid，"Oh，Ithinkyouareunderamistake;thatdogisnotmine。"
"Iknowit，"hesaid;"zere’asbeenleetlemistake，soifzedogisnottoyou，yougivehimbacktome，/hein/？"
"Itellyou，"Isaid，"thatpoodlebelongstothegentlemanoverthere。"AndIpointedtothecolonel，seeingthatitwasbestnowtobringhimintotheaffairwithoutdelay。
"Youarewrong，"hesaid，doggedly;"zepoodleismypoodle！AndIwasdirecttoyou——itisyournameonzecarte！"AndhepresentedmewiththatfatalcardwhichIhadbeenfoolishenoughtogivetoBlaggasaproofofmyidentity。Isawitallnow;theoldvillainhadbetrayedme，andtoearnadoublerewardhadputtherealowneronmytrack。
Idecidedtocallthecolonelatonce，andattempttobrazenitoutwiththehelpofhissincerebeliefinthedog。
"Eh，what’sthat;what’sitallabout？"saidthecolonel，bustlingup，followedatintervalsbytheothers。
TheFrenchmanraisedhishatagain。"Idonotvanttomakeatrouble，"
hebegan，"butzereisleetlemistake。Mywordofhonour，sare，Iseemyownpoodleinyourgarden。VenIappealtozisgentilmantorestore’imhereffermetoyou。"
"Youmustallowmetoknowmyowndog，sir，"saidthecolonel。"Why，I’vehadhimfromapup。Bingo，oldboy，youknowyourname，don’tyou？"
Butthebruteignoredhimaltogether，andbegantoleapwildlyatthehedgeinfranticeffortstojointheFrenchman。ItneedednoSolomontodecide/his/ownership！
"Itellyou，you’avegotzewrongpoodle——itismyowndog，myAzor！
Heremembermewell，yousee？Ilosehim，itisthree，fourdays……Iseeanotticezatheisfound，andvenIgotozeaddresszeytellme，’Oh，heisreclaim，heisgonevizastrangairewhohasadvertise。’Zeyshowmezeplacard;Ifollow’ere，andvenI
arriveIseemypoodleinzegardenbeforeme！"
"Butlookhere，"saidthecolonel，impatiently;"it’sallverywelltosaythat，buthowcanyouproveit？Igiveyou/my/wordthatthedogbelongsto/me/！Youmustproveyourclaim，eh，Travers？"
"Yes，"saidTravers，judicially;"mereassertionisnoproof;it’soathagainstoathatpresent。"
"Attendaninstant;yourpoodle，washe’ighlytrain，hadhesometalents——adogviztricks，eh？"
"No，he’snot，"saidthecolonel;"Idon’tliketoseedogstaughttoplaythefool;there’snoneofthatnonsenseabout/him/，sir！"
"Ah，remarkhimwell，then。/Azor，monchou，dansedoncunpeu/！"
And，ontheforeigner’swhistlingalivelyair，thatinfernalpoodleroseonhishindlegsanddancedsolemnlyabouthalf-wayroundthegarden！Weinsidefollowedhismovementswithdismay。
"Why，dashitall！"criedthedisgustedcolonel，"he’sdancingalonglikead——dmountebank！Butit’smyBingo，forallthat！"
"Youarenotconvince？Youshallseemore。/Azor，ici！PourBeesmarck，Azor！/"（thepoodlebarkedferociously。）"/PourGambetta！/"（Hewaggedhistailandbegantoleapwithjoy。）/"Meurspourlapatrie！"Andthetooaccomplishedanimalrolledoverasifkilledinbattle！
"WherecouldBingohavepickedupsomuchFrench？"criedLilian，incredulously。
"OrsomuchFrenchhistory？"addedthatserpent，Travers。
"ShallIcommand’imtojump，orreverse’imself？"inquiredtheobligingFrenchman。
"We’veseenthat，thankyou，"saidthecolonel，gloomily。"Uponmyword，Idon’tknowwhattothink。Itcan’tbethatthat’snotmyBingoafterall——I’llneverbelieveit！"
Itriedalastdesperatestroke。"Willyoucomeroundtothefront？"I
saidtotheFrenchman。"I’llletyouin，andwecandiscussthematterquietly。"Then，aswewalkedbacktogether，Iaskedhimeagerlywhathewouldtaketoabandonhisclaimsandletthecolonelthinkthepoodlewashisafterall。
Hewasfurious——heconsideredhimselfinsulted;withgreatemotionheinformedmethatthedogwastheprideofhislife（itseemstobethemissionofblackpoodlestoserveasdomesticcomfortsofthispricelesskind！），thathewouldnotpartwithhimfortwicehisweightingold。
"Figure，"hebegan，aswejoinedtheothers，"zatzisgentilman’ere’asoffermemoneyforzedog！Heagreeszatitistome，yousee？
Ver’well，zen，zereisnomoretobesaid！"
"Why，Weatherhead，have/you/lostfaithtoo，then？"saidthecolonel。
Isawitwasnogood;allIwantednowwastogetoutofitcreditablyandgetridoftheFrenchman。"I’msorrytosay，"Ireplied，"thatI’mafraidI’vebeendeceivedbytheextraordinarylikeness。Idon’tthink，onreflection，thatthat/is/Bingo！"
"Whatdoyouthink，Travers？"askedthecolonel。
"Well，sinceyouaskme，"saidTravers，withquiteunnecessarydryness，"Ineverdidthinkso。"
"NorI，"saidthecolonel;"IthoughtfromthefirstthatwasnevermyBingo。Why，Bingowouldmaketwoofthatbeast！"
AndLilianandherauntbothprotestedthattheyhadhadtheirdoubtsfromthefirst。
"ZenyoupairmeetzatIremove’im？"saidtheFrenchman。
"Certainly，"saidthecolonel;and，aftersomeapologiesonourpartforthemistake，hewentoffintriumph，withthedetestablepoodlefriskingafterhim。
Whenhehadgonethecolonellaidhishandkindlyonmyshoulder。
"Don’tlooksocutupaboutit，myboy，"hesaid;"youdidyourbest——
therewasasortoflikenesstoanyonewhodidn’tknowBingoaswedid。"
JustthentheFrenchmanagainappearedatthehedge。"Athousandpardons，"hesaid，"butIfindzisuponmydog;itisnottome。
Suffermetorestoreitvizmanycompliments。"
ItwasBingo’scollar。Traverstookitfromhishandandbroughtittous。
"Thiswasonthedogwhenyoustoppedthatfellow，didn’tyousay？"heaskedme。
Onemorelie——andIwassowearyoffalsehood！"Y-yes，"Isaid，reluctantly;"thatwasso。"
"Veryextraordinary，"saidTravers;"that’sthewrongpoodlebeyondadoubt，butwhenhe’sfoundhe’swearingtherightdog’scollar！Nowhowdoyouaccountforthat？"
"Mygoodfellow，"Isaid，impatiently，"I’mnotinthewitness-box。I
/can’t/accountforit。It-it’samerecoincidence！"
"Butlookhere，my/dear/Weatherhead，"arguedTravers（whetheringoodfaithornotInevercouldquitemakeout），"don’tyouseewhatatremendouslyimportantlinkitis？Here’sadogwho（asIunderstandthefacts）hadasilvercollar，withhisnameengravedonit，roundhisneckatthetimehewaslost。Here’sthatidenticalcollarturningupsoonafterwardroundtheneckofatotallydifferentdog！Wemustfollowthisup;wemustgetatthebottomofitsomehow！Withacluelikethis，we’resuretofindouteitherthedoghimself，orwhat’sbecomeofhim！Justtrytorecollectexactlywhathappened，there’sagoodfellow。ThisisjustthesortofthingIlike！"
ItwasthesortofthingIdidnotenjoyatall。"Youmustexcusemeto-night，Travers，"Isaid，uncomfortably;"yousee，justnowit’sratherasoresubjectforme，andI’mnotfeelingverywell！"IwasgratefuljustthenforareassuringglanceofpityandconfidencefromLilian’ssweeteyes，whichrevivedmydroopingspiritsforthemoment。
"Yes，we’llgointoitto-morrow，Travers，"saidthecolonel;"andthen——hullo，why，there’sthatconfoundedFrenchman/again/！"
Itwasindeed;hecameprancingbackdelicately，withamaliciousenjoymentonhiswrinkledface。"OncemoreIreturntoapologise，"hesaid。"Mypoodle’aspermit’imselfzegraveindiscretiontomakeaverybig’oleatzebottomofzegarden！"
Iassuredhimthatitwasofnoconsequence。"Perhaps，"hereplied，lookingsteadilyatmethroughhiskeen，half-shuteyes，"youvillnotsayzatvenyouregardze’ole。Andyouothers，Ispiktoyou：
sometimesvonlosesasomzingvichisqvitenearallzetime。Itisver’droll，eh？myvord，ha，ha，ha！"Andheambledoff，withanaggressivelyfiendishlaughthatchilledmyblood。
"Whatthedeucedidhemeanbythat，eh？"saidthecolonel，blankly。
"Don’tknow，"saidTravers;"supposewegoandinspectthehole？"
ButbeforethatIhadcontrivedtodrawnearitmyself，indeadlyfearlesttheFrenchman’slastwordshadcontainedsomeinnuendowhichI
hadnotunderstood。
Itwaslightenoughstillformetoseesomething，attheunexpectedhorrorofwhichIverynearlyfainted。
ThatthriceaccursedpoodlewhichIhadbeeninsaneenoughtoattempttofoistuponthecolonelmust，itseems，haveburiedhissupperthenightbeforeverynearthespotinwhichIhadlaidBingo，andinhisattemptstoexhumehisbonehadbroughttheremainsofmyvictimtothesurface！
Therethecorpselay，ontheverytopoftheexcavations。Timehadnot，ofcourse，improveditsappearance，whichwasghastlyintheextreme，butstillplainlyrecognisablebytheeyeofaffection。
"It’saveryordinaryhole，"Igasped，puttingmyselfbeforeitandtryingtoturnthemback。"Nothinginit——nothingatall！"
"ExceptoneAlgernonWeatherhead，Esq。，eh？"whisperedTravers，jocosely，inmyear。
"No;but，"persistedthecolonel，advancing，"lookhere！Hasthedogdamagedanyofyourshrubs？"
"No，no！"Icried，piteously;"quitethereverse。Let’sallgoindoorsnow;it’sgettingsocold！"
"See，there/is/ashruborsomethinguprooted，"saidthecolonel，stillcomingnearerthatfatalhole。"Why，hullo，lookthere！What’sthat？"
Lilian，whowasbyhisside，gaveaslightscream。"Uncle，"shecried，"itlookslike——like/Bingo/！"
Thecolonelturnedsuddenlyuponme。"Doyouhear？"hedemanded，inachokedvoice。"Youhearwhatshesays？Can’tyouspeakout？IsthatourBingo？"
Igaveitupatlast;Ionlylongedtobeallowedtocrawlawayundersomething！"Yes，"Isaidinadullwhisper，asIsatdownheavilyonagardenseat，"yes……that’sBingo……misfortune……shoothim……quiteanaccident！"
Therewasaterribleexplosionafterthat;theysawatlasthowIhaddeceivedthem，andputtheveryworstconstructionuponeverything。
EvennowIwritheimpotentlyattimes，andmycheekssmartandtinglewithhumiliation，asIrecallthatscene——thecolonel’sveryplainspeaking，Lilian’spassionatereproachesandcontempt，andheraunt’sspeechlessprostrationofdisappointment。
Imadenoattempttodefendmyself;Iwasnot，perhaps，thecompletevillaintheydeemedme，butIfeltdullythatnodoubtitallservedmeperfectlyright。
StillIdonotthinkIamunderanyobligationtoputtheirremarksdowninblackandwhitehere。
Travershadvanishedatthefirstopportunity——whetheroutofdelicacy，orthefearofbreakingoutintounseasonablemirth，I
cannotsay;andshortlyafterwardtheotherscametowhereIsatsilentwithbowedhead，andbademeasternandfinalfarewell。
Andthen，asthelastgleamofLilian’swhitedressvanisheddownthegardenpath，Ilaidmyheaddownonthetableamongthecoffee-cups，andcriedlikeabeatenchild。
IgotleaveassoonasIcould，andwentabroad。ThemorningaftermyreturnInoticed，whileshaving，thattherewasasmallsquaremarbletabletplacedagainstthewallofthecolonel’sgarden。Igotmyopera-glassandread——andpleasantreadingitwas——thefollowinginscription：
INAFFECTIONATEMEMORY
OF
BINGO，SECRETLYANDCRUELLYPUTTODEATH，INCOLDBLOOD，BYA
NEIGHBOURANDFRIEND。
JUNE，1881。
Ifthisexplanationofmineeverreachesmyneighbours’eyes，Ihumblyhopetheywillhavethehumanityeithertotakeawayortonedownthattablet。TheycannotconceivewhatIsufferwhencuriousvisitorsinsist，astheydoeveryday，onspellingoutthewordsfromourwindows，andaskingmecountlessquestionsaboutthem！
SometimesImeettheCurriesaboutthevillage，andastheypassmewithavertedheadsIfeelmyselfgrowingcrimson。TraversisalmostalwayswithLiliannow。Hehasgivenheradog，——afox-terrier，——andtheytakeostentatiouslyelaborateprecautionstokeepitoutofmygarden。
Ishouldliketoassurethemherethattheyneednotbeunderanyalarm。Ihaveshotonedog。
THATBRUTESIMMONS
BY
ARTHURMORRISON
Simmons’sinfamousbehaviourtowardhiswifeisstillmatterforprofoundwondermentamongtheneighbours。Theotherwomenhadallalongregardedhimasamodelhusband，andcertainlyMrs。Simmonswasamostconscientiouswife。Shetoiledandslavedforthatman，asanywomaninthewholestreetwouldhavemaintained，farmorethananyhusbandhadarighttoexpect。Andnowthiswaswhatshegotforit。
Perhapshehadsuddenlygonemad。
BeforeshemarriedSimmons，Mrs。SimmonshadbeenthewidowedMrs。
Ford。Fordhadgotaberthasdonkeymanonatrampsteamer，andthatsteamerhadgonedownwithallhandsofftheCape：ajudgment，thewidowwomanfeared，forlongyearsofcontumacy，whichhadculminatedinthewickednessoftakingtothesea，andtakingtoitasadonkeyman——animmeasurablefallforacapableengine-fitter。TwelveyearsasMrs。Fordhadleftherstillchildless，andchildlesssheremainedasMrs。Simmons。
AsforSimmons，he，itwasheld，wasfortunateinthatcapablewife。
Hewasamoderatelygoodcarpenterandjoiner，butnomanoftheworld，andhewantedone。NobodycouldtellwhatmightnothavehappenedtoTommySimmonsiftherehadbeennoMrs。Simmonstotakecareofhim。Hewasameekandquietman，withaboyishfaceandsparse，limpwhiskers。Hehadnovices（evenhispipedepartedhimafterhismarriage），andMrs。Simmonshadingraftedonhimdiversexoticvirtues。HewentsolemnlytochapeleverySunday，underatallhat，andputapenny——onereturnedtohimforthepurposeoutofhisweek’swages——intheplate。Then，Mrs。Simmonsoverseeing，hetookoffhisbestclothes，andbrushedthemwithsolicitudeandpains。OnSaturdayafternoonshecleanedtheknives，theforks，theboots，thekettles，andthewindows，patientlyandconscientiously;onTuesdayeveningshetooktheclothestothemangling;andonSaturdaynightsheattendedMrs。Simmonsinhermarketing，tocarrytheparcels。
Mrs。Simmons’sownvirtueswerenativeandnumerous。Shewasawonderfulmanager。EverypennyofTommy’sthirty-sixorthirty-eightshillingsaweekwasbestowedtothegreatestadvantage，andTommyneverventuredtoguesshowmuchofitshesaved。Hercleanlinessinhousewiferywasdistractingtobehold。ShemetSimmonsatthefrontdoorwheneverhecamehome，andthenandtherehechangedhisbootsforslippers，balancinghimselfpainfullyonalternatefeetonthecoldflags。Thiswasbecauseshescrubbedthepassageanddoor-stepturnaboutwiththewifeofthedownstairsfamily，andbecausethestair-carpetwasherown。Shevigilantlysupervisedherhusbandallthroughtheprocessof"cleaninghimself"afterwork，soastocomebetweenherwallsandthepossibilityofrandomsplashes;andif，inspiteofherdiligence，aspotremainedtotellthetale，shewasatpainstoimpressthefactonSimmons’smemory，andtosetforthatlengthallthecircumstancesofhisungratefulselfishness。Inthebeginningshehadalwaysescortedhimtotheready-madeclothesshop，andhadselectedandpaidforhisclothes，forthereasonthatmenaresuchperfectfools，andshopkeepersdoastheylikewiththem。Butshepresentlyimprovedonthat。Shefoundamansellingcheapremnantsatastreet-corner，andstraightwaysheconceivedtheideaofmakingSimmons’sclothesherself。Decisionwasoneofhervirtues，andasuitofuproariouschecktweedswasbegunthatafternoonfromthepatternfurnishedbyanoldone。More：itwasfinishedbySunday，whenSimmons，overcomebyastonishmentatthefeat，wasenduedinit，andpushedofftochapelerehecouldrecoverhissenses。Thethingswerenotaltogethercomfortable，hefound：thetrousershungtightagainsthisshins，buthungloosebehindhisheels;andwhenhesat，itwasonawildernessofhardfoldsandseams。Also，hiswaistcoatcollartickledhisnape，buthiscoatcollarwentstrainingacrossfromshouldertoshoulder;whilethemaingarmentbaggedgenerouslybelowhiswaist。Usemadeahabitofhisdiscomfort，butitneverreconciledhimtothechaffofhisshopmates;for，asMrs。Simmonselaboratedsuccessivesuits，eachonemodelledonthelast，theprimalaccidentsofherdesigndevelopedintoprinciples，andgrewevenbolderandmorehideouslypronounced。ItwasvainforSimmonstohint——ashinthedid——thatheshouldn’tlikehertooverworkherself，tailoringbeingbadfortheeyes，andtherewasanewtailor’sintheMileEndRoad，verycheap，where……"Hoyus，"sheretorted，"you’reveryconsid’ritI
dessaysittin’thereactin’alivin’liebeforeyourownwifeThomasSimmonsasthoughIcouldn’tseethroughyoulikeabookalotyoucareaboutoverworkin’measlongas/your/turn’sservedthrowin’
awaymoneylikedirtinthestreetonaloto’swindlin’tailorsan’
meworkin’and’slavin’’eretosavea’a’pennyan’thisismyreturnforitanyone’udthinkyoucouldpickupmoneyinthe’orse-roadan’
Ib’lieveI’dbethoughtbetterofifIlaidinbedalldaylikesomewouldthatIdo。"SothatThomasSimmonsavoidedthesubject，norevenmurmuredwhensheresolvedtocuthishair。
Sohisplacidfortuneenduredforyears。ThentherecameagoldensummereveningwhenMrs。Simmonsbetookherselfwithabaskettodosomesmallshopping，andSimmonswasleftathome。Hewashedandputawaythetea-things，andthenhefelltomeditatingonanewpairoftrousers，finishedthatday，andhangingbehindtheparlourdoor。
Theretheyhung，inalltheirdecentinnocenceofshapeintheseat，andtheywereshorterofleg，longerofwaist，andwilderofpatternthanhehadeverwornbefore。AndashelookedonthemthesmalldevilofOriginalSinawokeandclamouredinhisbreast。Hewasashamedofit，ofcourse，forwellheknewthegratitudeheowedhiswifeforthosesametrousers，amongotherblessings。Still，therethesmalldevilwas，andthesmalldevilwasfertileinbasesuggestions，andcouldnotbekeptfromhintingatthenewcropofworkshopgibesthatwouldspringatTommy’sfirstpublicappearanceinsuchthings。
"Pitch’eminthedust-bin！"saidthesmalldevilatlast。"It’sallthey’refitfor。"
Simmonsturnedawayinsheerhorrorofhiswickedself，andforamomentthoughtofwashingthetea-thingsoveragainbywayofdiscipline。Thenhemadeforthebackroom，butsawfromthelandingthatthefrontdoorwasstandingopen，probablythefaultofthechilddownstairs。NowafrontdoorstandingopenwasathingthatMrs。
Simmonswould/not/abide：itlookedlow。SoSimmonswentdown，thatshemightnotbewrothwithhimforthethingwhenshecameback;and，asheshutthedoor，helookedforthintothestreet。
Amanwasloiteringonthepavement，andpryingcuriouslyaboutthedoor。Hisfacewastanned，hishandsweredeepinthepocketsofhisunbracedbluetrousers，andwellbackonhisheadheworethehigh-crownedpeakedcap，toppedwithaknobofwool，whichisaffectedbyJackashoreaboutthedocks。Helurchedastepnearertothedoor，and"Mrs。Fordain’tin，isshe？"hesaid。
Simmonsstaredathimforamatteroffiveseconds，andthensaid，"Eh？"
"Mrs。Fordaswas，then——Simmonsnow，ain’tit？"
HesaidthiswithafurtiveleerthatSimmonsneitherlikednorunderstood。
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