CHAPTERIII：APEEPINTOSPAIN——ACCOUNTOFTHEORIGINANDSERVICES

OFTHEAHMEDNUGGARIRREGULARS

HEADQUARTERS，MORELLA：September15，1838

Ihavebeenhereforsomemonths，alongwithmyyoungfriendCabrera：andinthehurryandbustleofwar——dailyonguardandinthebatteriesforsixteenhoursoutofthetwenty—four，withfourteenseverewoundsandsevenmusket—ballsinmybody——itmaybeimaginedthatIhavehadlittletimetothinkaboutthepublicationofmymemoirs。Interarmasilentleges——inthemidstoffightingbehangedtowriting!asthepoetsays；andIneverwouldhavebotheredmyselfwithapen，hadnotcommongratitudeincitedmetothrowoffafewpages。

AlongwithOraa’stroops，whohaveoflatebeenbeleagueringthisplace，therewasayoungMilesiangentleman，Mr。TooneO’ConnorEmmettFitzgeraldSheenybyname，alawstudent，andamemberofGray’sInn，andwhathecalledBayAhofTrinityCollege，Dublin。

Mr。SheenywaswiththeQueen’speople，notinamilitarycapacity，butasrepresentativeofanEnglishjournal；towhich，foratriflingweeklyremuneration，hewasinthehabitoftransmittingaccountsofthemovementsofthebelligerents，andhisownopinionofthepoliticsofSpain。Receiving，forthedischargeofhisduty，acoupleofguineasaweekfromtheproprietorsofthejournalinquestion，hewasenabled，asIneedscarcelysay，tomakesuchashowinOraa’scampasonlyaChristinogeneralofficer，orattheveryleastacolonelofaregiment，canaffordtokeepup。

Inthefamoussortiewhichwemadeuponthetwenty—third，Iwasofcourseamongtheforemostinthemelee，andfoundmyself，afteragooddealofslaughtering（whichitwouldbeasdisagreeableasuselesstodescribehere），inthecourtofasmallinnorpodesta，whichhadbeenmadetheheadquartersofseveralQueeniteofficersduringthesiege。Thepesateroorlandlordoftheinnhadbeendespatchedbymybravechapel—churies，withhisfinefamilyofchildren——theofficersquarteredinthepodestahadofcoursebolted；butonemanremained，andmyfellowswereonthepointofcuttinghimintotenthousandpieceswiththeirborachios，whenI

arrivedintheroomtimeenoughtopreventthecatastrophe。Seeingbeforemeanindividualinthecostumeofacivilian——awhitehat，alightbluesatincravat，embroideredwithbutterfliesandotherquadrupeds，agreencoatandbrassbuttons，andapairofblueplaidtrousers，Irecognisedatonceacountryman，andinterposedtosavehislife。

Inanagonisedbroguetheunhappyyoungmanwassayingallthathecouldtoinducethechapel—churiestogiveuptheirintentionofslaughteringhim；butitisverylittlelikelythathisprotestationswouldhavehadanyeffectuponthem，hadnotI

appearedintheroom，andshoutedtotheruffianstoholdtheirhand。

Seeingageneralofficerbeforethem（IhavethehonourtoholdthatrankintheserviceofHisCatholicMajesty），andmoreoveronesixfeetfourinheight，andarmedwiththatterriblecabecilla（aswordsocalled，becauseitisfivefeetlong）whichissowellknownamongtheSpanisharmies——seeing，Isay，thisfigure，thefellowsretired，exclaiming，"Adios，corpodibacconosotros，"andsoon，clearlyproving（bytheirwords）thattheywould，iftheydared，haveimmolatedthevictimwhomIhadthusrescuedfromtheirfury。"Villains!"shoutedI，hearingthemgrumble，"away!quittheapartment!"Eachman，sulkilysheathinghissombrero，obeyed，andquittedthecamarilla。

ItwasthenthatMr。SheenydetailedtometheparticularstowhichIhavebrieflyadverted；and，informingmeatthesametimethathehadafamilyinEnglandwhowouldfeelobligedtomeforhisrelease，andthathismostintimatefriendtheEnglishAmbassadorwouldmoveheavenandearthtorevengehisfall，hedirectedmyattentiontoaportmanteaupassablywellfilled，whichhehopedwouldsatisfythecupidityofmytroops。Isaid，thoughwithmuchregret，thatImustsubjecthispersontoasearch；andhencearosethecircumstancewhichhascalledforwhatIfearyouwillconsiderasomewhattediousexplanation。IfounduponMr。Sheeny’spersonthreesovereignsinEnglishmoney（whichIhavetothisday），andsingularlyenoughacopyoftheNewMonthlyMagazine，containingaportionofmyadventures。Itwasatoss—upwhetherIshouldletthepooryoungmanbeshotorno，butthislittlecircumstancesavedhislife。Thegratifiedvanityofauthorshipinducedmetoaccepthisportmanteauandvaluables，andtoallowthepoorwretchtogofree。IputtheMagazineinmycoat—pocket，andlefthimandthepodesta。

Themen，tomysurprise，hadquittedthebuilding，anditwasfulltimeformetofollow；forIfoundoursallyingparty，aftercommittingdreadfulravagesinOraa’slines，wereinfullretreatuponthefort，hotlypressedbyasuperiorforceoftheenemy。I

amprettywellknownandrespectedbythemenofbothpartiesinSpain（indeedIservedforsomemonthsontheQueen’ssidebeforeI

cameovertoDonCarlos）；and，asitismymaximnevertogivequarter，Ineverexpecttoreceiveitwhentakenmyself。OnissuingfromthepodestawithSheeny’sportmanteauandmyswordinmyhand，Iwasalittledisgustedandannoyedtoseeourownmeninaprettygoodcolumnretreatingatdouble—quick，andaboutfourhundredyardsbeyondme，upthehillleadingtothefort；whileonmylefthand，andatonlyahundredyards，atroopoftheQueenitelancerswereclatteringalongtheroad。

IhadgotintotheverymiddleoftheroadbeforeImadethisdiscovery，sothatthefellowshadafullsightofme，andwhizz!

cameabulletbymyleftwhiskerbeforeIcouldsayJackRobinson。

Ilookedround——therewereseventyoftheaccursedmalvadosattheleast，andwithin，asIsaid，ahundredyards。WereItosaythatIstoppedtofightseventymen，youwouldwritemedownafooloraliar：no，sir，Ididnotfight，Iranaway。

Iamsixfeetfour——myfigureisaswellknownintheSpanisharmyasthatoftheCountdeLuchana，ormyfiercelittlefriendCabrerahimself。"GAHAGAN!"shoutedouthalf—a—dozenscoundrellyvoices，andfiftymoreshotscamerattlingafterme。Iwasrunning——

runningasthebravestagbeforethehounds——runningasIhavedoneagreatnumberoftimesbeforeinmylife，whentherewasnohelpforitbutarace。

AfterIhadrunaboutfivehundredyards，IsawthatIhadgainednearlythreeuponourcolumninfront，andthatlikewisetheChristinohorsemenwereleftbehindsomehundredyardsmore；withtheexceptionofthree，whowerefearfullynearme。Thefirstwasanofficerwithoutalance；hehadfiredbothhispistolsatme，andwastwentyyardsinadvanceofhiscomrades；therewasasimilardistancebetweenthetwolancerswhorodebehindhim。I

determinedthentowaitforNo。1，andashecameupdeliveredcut3athishorse’snearleg——offitflew，anddown，asIexpected，wenthorseandman。Ihadhardlytimetopassmyswordthroughmyprostrateenemy，whenNo。2wasuponme。IfIcouldbutgetthatfellow’shorse，thoughtI，Iamsafe；andIexecutedatoncetheplanwhichIhopedwastoeffectmyrescue。

Ihad，asIsaid，leftthepodestawithSheeny’sportmanteau，and，unwillingtopartwithsomeofthearticlesitcontained——someshirts，abottleofwhisky，afewcakesofWindsorsoap，&c。&c。，——

Ihadcarrieditthusfaronmyshoulders，butnowwascompelledtosacrificeitmalgremoi。Asthelancercameup，Idroppedmyswordfrommyrighthand，andhurledtheportmanteauathishead，withaimsotrue，thathefellbackonhissaddlelikeasack，andthuswhenthehorsegallopeduptome，Ihadnodifficultyindismountingtherider：thewhisky—bottlestruckhimoverhisrighteye，andhewascompletelystunned。Todashhimfromthesaddleandspringmyselfintoit，wastheworkofamoment；indeed，thetwocombatshadtakenplaceinaboutafifthpartofthetimewhichithastakenthereadertoperusethedescription。Butintherapidityofthelastencounter，andthemountingofmyenemy’shorse，Ihadcommittedaveryabsurdoversight——IwasscamperingawayWITHOUTMYSWORD!WhatwasItodo？——toscamperon，tobesure，andtrusttothelegsofmyhorseforsafety!

Thelancerbehindmegainedonmeeverymoment，andIcouldhearhishorridlaughashenearedme。Ileanedforwardjockey—fashioninmysaddle，andkicked，andurged，andfloggedwithmyhand，butallinvain。Closer——closer——thepointofhislancewaswithintwofeetofmyback。Ah!ah!hedeliveredthepoint，andfancymyagonywhenIfeltitenter——throughexactlyfifty—ninepagesoftheNewMonthlyMagazine。HaditnotbeenforthatMagazine，Ishouldhavebeenimpaledwithoutashadowofadoubt。WasIwronginfeelinggratitude？HadInotcausetocontinuemycontributionstothatperiodical？

WhenIgotsafeintoMorella，alongwiththetailofthesallyingparty，Iwasforthefirsttimemadeacquaintedwiththeridiculousresultofthelancer’sthrust（ashedeliveredhislance，Imusttellyouthataballcamewhizzovermyheadfromourfellows，andenteringathisnose，putastoptohislancingforthefuture）。I

hastenedtoCabrera’squarter，andrelatedtohimsomeofmyadventuresduringtheday。

"But，General，"saidhe，"youarestanding。Ibegyouchiudetel’uscio（takeachair）。"

Ididso，andthenforthefirsttimewasawarethattherewassomeforeignsubstanceinthetailofmycoat，whichpreventedmysittingatease。IdrewouttheMagazinewhichIhadseized，andthere，tomywonder，discoveredtheChristinolancetwisteduplikeafish—hookorapastoralcrook。

"Ha!ha!ha!"saidCabrera（whoisanotoriouswag）。

"Valdepenasmadrilenos，"growledoutTristany。

"Bymycachucadicaballero（uponmyhonourasagentleman），"

shriekedoutRosd’Eroles，convulsedwithlaughter，"IwillsendittotheBishopofLeonforacrozier。"

"GahaganhasCONSECRATEDit，"giggledoutRamonCabrera；andsotheywentonwiththeirmuchacasforanhourormore。But，whentheyheardthatthemeansofmysalvationfromthelanceofthescoundrellyChristinohadbeentheMagazinecontainingmyownhistory，theirlaughwaschangedintowonder。Ireadthem（speakingSpanishmorefluentlythanEnglish）everywordofmystory。"Buthowisthis？"saidCabrera。"Yousurelyhaveotheradventurestorelate？"

"Excellentsir，"saidI，"Ihave；"andthatveryevening，aswesatoverourcupsoftertullia（sangaree），Icontinuedmynarrativeinnearlythefollowingwords：—

"IleftoffintheverymiddleofthebattleofDelhi，whichended，aseverybodyknows，inthecompletetriumphoftheBritisharms。

Butwhogainedthebattle？LordLakeiscalledViscountLakeofDelhiandLaswaree，whileMajorGaha——nonsense，nevermindHIM，nevermindthechargeheexecutedwhen，sabreinhand，heleapedthesix—footwallinthemouthoftheroaringcannon，overtheheadsofthegleamingpikes；when，withonehandseizingthesacredpeishcush，orfish——whichwasthebanneralwaysbornebeforeScindiah，——he，withhisgoodsword，cutoffthetrunkofthefamouswhiteelephant，which，shriekingwithagony，plungedmadlyintotheMahrattaranks，followedbyhisgiantbrethren，tossing，likechaffbeforethewind，theaffrightedkitmatgars。He，meanwhile，nowplungingintothemidstofabattalionofconsomahs，nowcleavingtothechineascreamingandferociousbobbachee，{4}rushedon，likethesimoomacrosstheredZaharanplain，killing，withhisownhand，ahundredandforty—thr——butnevermind——’ALONEHEDIDIT；’

sufficientbeitforhim，however，thatthevictorywaswon：hecaresnotfortheemptyhonourswhichwereawardedtomorefortunatemen!

"WemarchedafterthebattletoDelhi，wherepoorblindoldShahAllumreceivedus，andbestowedallkindsofhonoursandtitlesonourGeneral。Aseachoftheofficerspassedbeforehim，theShahdidnotfailtoremarkmyperson，{5}andwastoldmyname。

"LordLakewhisperedtohimmyexploits，andtheoldmanwassodelightedwiththeaccountofmyvictoryovertheelephant（whosetrunkIusetothisday），thathesaid，’LethimbecalledGUJPUTI，’orthelordofelephants；andGujputiwasthenamebywhichIwasafterwardsfamiliarlyknownamongthenatives，——themen，thatis。Thewomenhadasofterappellationforme，andcalledme’Mushook，’orcharmer。

"Well，IshallnotdescribeDelhi，whichisdoubtlesswellknowntothereader；northesiegeofAgra，towhichplacewewentfromDelhi；northeterribledayatLaswaree，whichwentnightofinishthewar。Sufficeittosaythatwewerevictorious，andthatIwaswounded；asIhaveinvariablybeeninthetwohundredandfouroccasionswhenIhavefoundmyselfinaction。Onepoint，however，becameinthecourseofthiscampaignQUITEevident——THATSOMETHING

MUSTBEDONEFORGAHAGAN。Thecountrycriedshame，theKing’stroopsgrumbled，thesepoysopenlymurmuredthattheirGujputiwasonlyalieutenant，whenhehadperformedsuchsignalservices。

Whatwastobedone？LordWellesleywasinanevidentquandary。

’Gahagan，’wrotehe，’tobeasubalternisevidentlynotyourfate—

—YOUWEREBORNFORCOMMAND；butLakeandGeneralWellesleyaregoodofficers，theycannotbeturnedout——Imustmakeapostforyou。

Whatsayyou，mydearfellow，toacorpsofIRREGULARHORSE？’

"ItwasthusthatthefamouscorpsofAHMEDNUGGARIRREGULARShaditsorigin；aguerillaforce，itistrue，butonewhichwilllongberememberedintheannalsofourIndiancampaigns。

***

"Asthecommanderofthisregiment，Iwasallowedtosettletheuniformofthecorps，aswellastoselectrecruits。Thesewerenotwantingassoonasmyappointmentwasmadeknown，butcameflockingtomystandardagreatdealfasterthantotheregularcorpsintheCompany’sservice。IhadEuropeanofficers，ofcourse，tocommandthem，andafewofmycountrymenassergeants；

therestwereallnatives，whomIchoseofthestrongestandbravestmeninIndia；chieflyPitans，Afghans，Hurrumzadehs，andCalliawns：forthesearewellknowntobethemostwarlikedistrictsofourIndianterritory。

"Whenonparadeandinfulluniformwemadeasingularandnobleappearance。Iwasalwaysfondofdress；and，inthisinstancegaveacarteblanchetomytaste，andinventedthemostsplendidcostumethateverperhapsdecoratedasoldier。Iam，asIhavestatedalready，sixfeetfourinchesinheight，andofmatchlesssymmetryandproportion。Myhairandbeardareofthemostbrilliantauburn，sobrightasscarcelytobedistinguishedatadistancefromscarlet。Myeyesarebrightblue，overshadowedbybushyeyebrowsofthecolourofmyhair，andaterrificgashofthedeepestpurple，whichgoesovertheforehead，theeyelid，andthecheek，andfinishesattheear，givesmyfaceamorestrictlymilitaryappearancethancanbeconceived。WhenIhavebeendrinking（asisprettyoftenthecase）thisgashbecomesrubybright，andasIhaveanotherwhichtookoffapieceofmyunder—

lip，andshowsfiveofmyfrontteeth，Ileaveyoutoimaginethat’seldomlightedontheearth’（asthemonsterBurkeremarkedofoneofhisunhappyvictims）’amoreextraordinaryvision。’Iimprovedthesenaturaladvantages；and，whileincantonmentduringthehotwindsatChittybobbary，allowedmyhairtogrowverylong，asdidmybeard，whichreachedtomywaist。Ittookmetwohoursdailytocurlmyhairintenthousandlittlecorkscrewringlets，whichwavedovermyshoulders，andtogetmymoustacheswellroundtothecornersofmyeyelids。Idressedinloosescarlettrousersandredmoroccoboots，ascarletjacket，andashawlofthesamecolourroundmywaist；ascarletturbanthreefeethigh，anddecoratedwithatuftofthescarletfeathersoftheflamingo，formedmyhead—dress，andIdidnotallowmyselfasingleornament，exceptasmallsilverskullandcross—bonesinfrontofmyturban。Twobraceofpistols，aMalaycreese，andatulwar，sharponbothsides，andverynearlysixfeetinlength，completedthiselegantcostume。Mytwoflagswereeachsurmountedwitharealskullandcross—bones，andornamentedonewithablack，andtheotherwitharedbeard（ofenormouslength，takenfrommenslaininbattlebyme）。OnoneflagwereofcoursethearmsofJohnCompany；ontheother，animageofmyselfbestridingaprostrateelephant，withthesimpleword’GUJPUTI’writtenunderneathintheNagaree，Persian，andSanscritcharacters。Irodemyblackhorse，andlooked，bytheimmortalgods，likeMars。TomemightbeappliedthewordswhichwerewrittenconcerninghandsomeGeneralWebb，inMarlborough’stime：—

"’Tonobledangerheconductstheway，Hisgreatexampleallhistroopobey，BeforethefronttheMajorsternlyrides，WithsuchanairasMarstobattlestrides。

PropitiousHeavenmustsureaherosaveLikeParishandsome，andlikeHectorbrave!’

"Myofficers（CaptainsBiggsandMackanulty，LieutenantsGlogger，Pappendick，Stuffle，&c。&c。）weredressedexactlyinthesameway，butinyellow；andthemenweresimilarlyequipped，butinblack。

Ihaveseenmanyregimentssince，andmanyferocious—lookingmen，buttheAhmednuggarIrregularsweremoredreadfultotheviewthananysetofruffiansonwhichIeverseteyes。IwouldtoHeaventhattheCzarofMuscovyhadpassedthroughCaboolandLahore，andthatIwithmyoldAhmednuggarsstoodonafairfieldtomeethim!

Blessyou，blessyou，myswartcompanionsinvictory!throughthemistoftwentyyearsIheartheboomingofyourwar—cry，andmarktheglitterofyourscimitarsasyerageinthethickestofthebattle!{6}

"Butawaywithmelancholyreminiscences。YoumayfancywhatafiguretheIrregularscutonafield—day——alineoffivehundredblack—faced，black—dressed，black—horsed，black—beardedmen——Biggs，Glogger，andtheotherofficersinyellow，gallopingaboutthefieldlikeflashesoflightning；myselfenlighteningthem，red，solitary，andmajestic，likeyongloriousorbinheaven。

"Thereareveryfewmen，Ipresume，whohavenotheardofHolkar’ssuddenandgallantincursionintotheDooab，intheyear1804，whenwethoughtthatthevictoryofLaswareeandthebrilliantsuccessatDeeghadcompletelyfinishedhim。TakingtenthousandhorsehebrokeuphiscampatPalimbang；andthefirstthingGeneralLakeheardofhimwas，thathewasatPutna，thenatRumpooge，thenatDoncaradam——hewas，infact，intheveryheartofourterritory。

"Theunfortunatepartoftheaffairwasthis：—HisExcellency，despisingtheMahrattachieftain，hadallowedhimtoadvanceabouttwothousandmilesinhisfront，andknewnotintheslightestdegreewheretolayholdonhim。WasheatHazarubaug？washeatBoglyGunge？nobodyknew，andforaconsiderableperiodthemovementsofLake’scavalrywerequiteambiguous，uncertain，promiscuous，andundetermined。

"Such，briefly，wasthestateofaffairsinOctober1804。AtthebeginningofthatmonthIhadbeenwounded（atriflingscratch，cuttingoffmyleftuppereyelid，abitofmycheek，andmyunder—

lip），andIwasobligedtoleaveBiggsincommandofmyIrregulars，whilstIretiredformywoundstoanEnglishstationatFurruckabad，aliasFuttyghur——itis，aseverytwopennypostmanknows，attheapexoftheDooab。Wehavethereacantonment，andthitherIwentforthemeresakeofthesurgeonandthesticking—

plaster。

"Furruckabad，then，isdividedintotwodistrictsortowns：thelowerCotwal，inhabitedbythenatives，andtheupper（whichisfortifiedslightly，andhasallalongbeencalledFuttyghur，meaninginHindustanee’the—favourite—resort—of—the—white—faced—

Feringhees—near—the—mango—tope—consecrated—to—Ram’），occupiedbyEuropeans。（Itisastonishing，bytheway，howcomprehensivethatlanguageis，andhowmuchcanbeconveyedinoneortwoofthecommonestphrases。）

"Biggs，then，andmymenwereplayingallsortsofwondrousprankswithLordLake’sarmy，whilstIwasdetainedanunwillingprisonerofhealthatFuttyghur。

"Anunwillingprisoner，however，Ishouldnotsay。ThecantonmentatFuttyghurcontainedthatwhichwouldhavemadeanymanahappyslave。Woman，lovelywoman，wasthereinabundanceandvariety!

Thefactis，that，whenthecampaigncommencedin1803，theladiesofthearmyallcongregatedtothisplace，wheretheywereleft，asitwassupposed，insafety。Imight，likeHomer，relatethenamesandqualitiesofall。ImayatleastmentionSOMEwhosememoryisstillmostdeartome。Therewas—

"Mrs。Major—GeneralBulcher，wifeofBulcheroftheInfantry。

"MissBulcher。

"MISSBELINDABULCHER（whosenameIbegtheprintertoplaceinlargecapitals）。

"Mrs。ColonelVandegobbleschroy。

"Mrs。MajorMacanandthefourMissesMacan。

"TheHonourableMrs。Burgoo，Mrs。Flix，Hicks，Wicks，andmanymoretoonumeroustomention。Theflowerofourcampwas，however，collectedthere，andthelastwordsofLordLaketome，asIlefthim，were，’Gahagan，Icommitthosewomentoyourcharge。Guardthemwithyourlife，watchoverthemwithyourhonour，defendthemwiththematchlesspowerofyourindomitablearm。’

"Futtyghuris，asIhavesaid，aEuropeanstation，andtheprettyairofthebungalows，amidtheclusteringtopesofmango—trees，hasoftenerethisexcitedtheadmirationofthetouristandsketcher。

Onthebrowofahill——theBurrumpooterriverrollsmajesticallyatitsbase；andnospot，inaword，canbeconceivedmoreexquisitelyarranged，bothbyartandnature，asafavouriteresidenceoftheBritishfair。Mrs。Bulcher，Mrs。Vandegobbleschroy，andtheothermarriedladiesabovementioned，hadeachofthemdelightfulbungalowsandgardensintheplace，andbetweenonecottageandanothermytimepassedasdelightfullyascanthehoursofanymanwhoisawayfromhisdarlingoccupationofwar。

"Iwasthecommandantofthefort。Itisalittleinsignificantpettah，defendedsimplybyacoupleofgabions，averyordinarycounterscarp，andabomb—proofembrasure。Onthetopofthismyflagwasplanted，andthesmallgarrisonoffortymenonlywerecomfortablybarrackedoffinthecasemateswithin。Asurgeonandtwochaplains（therewerebesidesthreereverendgentlemenofamateurmissions，wholivedinthetown），completed，asImaysay，thegarrisonofourlittlefortalice，whichIwaslefttodefendandtocommand。

"OnthenightofthefirstofNovember，intheyear1804，IhadinvitedMrs。Major—GeneralBulcherandherdaughters，Mrs。

Vandegobbleschroy，and，indeed，alltheladiesinthecantonment，toalittlefestivalinhonouroftherecoveryofmyhealth，ofthecommencementoftheshootingseason，andindeedasafarewellvisit，foritwasmyintentiontotakedawktheverynextmorningandreturntomyregiment。ThethreeamateurmissionarieswhomI

havementioned，andsomeladiesinthecantonmentofveryrigidreligiousprinciples，refusedtoappearatmylittleparty。Theyhadbetterneverhavebeenbornthanhavedoneastheydid：asyoushallhear。

"Wehadbeendancingmerrilyallnight，andthesupper（chieflyofthedelicatecondor，thelusciousadjutant，andotherbirdsofasimilarkind，whichIhadshotinthecourseoftheday）hadbeendulyfetedbyeveryladyandgentlemanpresent；whenItookanopportunitytoretireontheramparts，withtheinterestingandlovelyBelindaBulcher。Iwasoccupied，astheFrenchsay，inCONTER—ingfleurettestothissweetyoungcreature，when，allofasudden，arocketwasseenwhizzingthroughtheair，andastronglightwasvisibleinthevalleybelowthelittlefort。

"’What，fireworks!CaptainGahagan，’saidBelinda；’thisistoogallant。’

"’Indeed，mydearMissBulcher，’saidI，’theyarefireworksofwhichIhavenoidea：perhapsourfriendsthemissionaries——’

"’Look，look!’saidBelinda，trembling，andclutchingtightlyholdofmyarm：’whatdoIsee？yes——no——yes!itis——OURBUNGALOWISIN

FLAMES!’

"Itwastrue，thespaciousbungalowoccupiedbyMrs。Major—Generalwasatthatmomentseenapreytothedevouringelement——anotherandanothersucceededit——sevenbungalows，beforeIcouldalmostejaculatethenameofJackRobinson，wereseenblazingbrightlyintheblackmidnightair!

"Iseizedmynight—glass，andlookingtowardsthespotwheretheconflagrationraged，whatwasmyastonishmenttoseethousandsofblackformsdancingroundthefires；whilstbytheirlightsIcouldobservecolumnsaftercolumnsofIndianhorse，arrivingandtakinguptheirgroundintheverymiddleoftheopensquareortank，roundwhichthebungalowswerebuilt!

"’Ho，warder!’shoutedI（whilethefrightenedandtremblingBelindaclungclosertomyside，andpressedthestalwartarmthatencircledherwaist），’downwiththedrawbridge!seethatyourmasolgees’（smalltumbrelswhichareusedinplaceoflargeartillery）’bewellloaded：you，sepoys，hastenandmantheravelin!you，choprasees，putoutthelightsintheembrasures!weshallhavewarmworkofitto—night，ormynameisnotGoliahGahagan。’

"Theladies，theguests（tothenumberofeighty—three），thesepoys，choprasees，masolgees，andsoon，hadallcrowdedontheplatformatthesoundofmyshouting，anddreadfulwastheconsternation，shrillthescreaming，occasionedbymywords。Themenstoodirresoluteandmutewithterror；thewomen，trembling，knewscarcelywhithertoflyforrefuge。’Whoareyonderruffians？’saidI。Ahundredvoicesyelpedinreply——somesaidthePindarees，somesaidtheMahrattas，somevoweditwasScindiah，andothersdeclareditwasHolkar——nooneknew。

"’Isthereanyonehere，’saidI，’whowillventuretoreconnoitreyondertroops？’Therewasadeadpause。

"’Athousandtomaunstothemanwhowillbringmenewsofyonderarmy!’againIrepeated。Stilladeadsilence。ThefactwasthatScindiahandHolkarbothweresonotoriousfortheircruelty，thatnoonedaredventuretofacethedanger。’OhforfiftyofmybraveAhmednuggarees!’thoughtI。

"’Gentlemen，’saidI，’Iseeit——youarecowards——noneofyoudareencounterthechanceevenofdeath。Itisanencouragingprospect：

knowyounotthattheruffianHolkar，ifitbehe，willwithto—

morrow’sdawnbeleaguerourlittlefort，andthrowthousandsofmenagainstourwalls？knowyounotthat，ifwearetaken，thereisnoquarter，nohope；deathforus——andworsethandeathfortheselovelyonesassembledhere？’HeretheladiesshriekedandraisedahowlasIhaveheardthejackalsonasummer’sevening。Belinda，mydearBelinda!flungbothherarmsroundme，andsobbedonmyshoulder（orinmywaistcoat—pocketrather，forthelittlewitchcouldreachnohigher）。

"’CaptainGahagan，’sobbedshe，’Go—Go—Goggle—iah!’

"’Mysoul’sadored!’repliedI。

"’Sweartomeonething。’

"’Iswear。’

"’Thatif——thatif——thenasty，horrid，odiousblackMah—ra—a—a—

attahstakethefort，youwillputmeoutoftheirpower。’

"Iclaspedthedeargirltomyheart，andsworeuponmyswordthat，ratherthansheshouldincurtheriskofdishonour，sheshouldperishbymyownhand。Thiscomfortedher；andhermother，Mrs。

Major—GeneralBulcher，andhereldersister，whohadnotuntilnowknownawordofourattachment，（indeed，butfortheseextraordinarycircumstances，itisprobablethatweourselvesshouldneverhavediscoveredit），wereunderthesepainfulcircumstancesmadeawareofmybelovedBelinda’spartialityforme。

Havingcommunicatedthusherwishofself—destruction，Ithoughtherexampleatouchingandexcellentone，andproposedtoalltheladiesthattheyshouldfollowit，andthatattheentryoftheenemyintothefort，andatasignalgivenbyme，theyshouldoneandallmakeawaywiththemselves。Fancymydisgustwhen，aftermakingthisproposition，notoneoftheladieschosetoaccedetoit，andreceiveditwiththesamechillingdenialthatmyformerproposaltothegarrisonhadmetwith。

"Inthemidstofthishurryandconfusion，asifpurposelytoaddtoit，atrumpetwasheardatthegateofthefort，andoneofthesentinelscamerunningtome，sayingthataMahrattasoldierwasbeforethegatewithaflagoftruce!

"Iwentdown，rightlyconjecturing，asitturnedout，thattheparty，whoevertheymightbe，hadnoartillery；andreceivedatthepointofmyswordascrollofwhichthefollowingisatranslation。

"’ToGoliahGahaganGujputi。

"’LORDOFELEPHANTS，SIR，——IhavethehonourtoinformyouthatI

arrivedbeforethisplaceateighto’clockp。m。withtenthousandcavalryundermyorders。Ihaveburned，sincemyarrival，seventeenbungalowsinFurruckabadandFuttyghur，andhavelikewisebeenunderthepainfulnecessityofputtingtodeaththreeclergymen（mollahs）andsevenEnglishofficers，whomIfoundinthevillage；thewomenhavebeentransferredtosafekeepingintheharemsofmyofficersandmyself。

"’AsIknowyourcourageandtalents，Ishallbeveryhappyifyouwillsurrenderthefortress，andtakeserviceasamajor—general（hookahbadar）inmyarmy。Shouldmyproposalnotmeetwithyourassent，Ibegleavetostatethatto—morrowIshallstormthefort，andontakingit，shallputtodeatheverymaleinthegarrison，andeveryfemaleabovetwentyyearsofage。ForyourselfIshallreserveapunishment，whichfornoveltyandexquisitetorturehas，Iflattermyself，hardlyeverbeenexceeded。Awaitingthefavourofareply，Iam，Sir，"’Yourveryobedientservant，"’JESWUNTROWHOLKAR。

"’CAMPBEFOREFUTTYGHUR：September1，1804。

"’R。S。V。P。’

"Theofficerwhohadbroughtthispreciousepistle（itisastonishinghowHolkarhadapedtheformsofEnglishcorrespondence），anenormousPitansoldier，withashirtofmail，andasteelcapandcape，roundwhichhisturbanwound，wasleaningagainstthegateonhismatchlock，andwhistlinganationalmelody。

Ireadtheletter，andsawatoncetherewasnotimetobelost。

Thatman，thoughtI，mustnevergobacktoHolkar。Werehetoattackusnowbeforewewereprepared，thefortwouldbehisinhalf—an—hour。

"Tyingmywhitepocket—handkerchieftoastick，Iflungopenthegateandadvancedtotheofficer：hewasstanding，Isaid，onthelittlebridgeacrossthemoat。Imadehimalowsalaam，afterthefashionofthecountry，and，ashebentforwardtoreturnthecompliment，Iamsorrytosay，Iplungedforward，gavehimaviolentblowonthehead，whichdeprivedhimofallsensation，andthendraggedhimwithinthewall，raisingthedrawbridgeafterme。

"Iborethebodyintomyownapartment；there，swiftasthought，I

strippedhimofhisturban，cammerbund，peijammahs，andpapooshes，and，puttingthemonmyself，determinedtogoforthandreconnoitretheenemy。"

***

HereIwasobligedtostop，forCabrera，Rosd’Eroles，andtherestofthestaff，weresoundasleep!WhatIdidinmyreconnaissance，andhowIdefendedthefortofFuttyghur，Ishallhavethehonouroftellingonanotheroccasion。

CHAPTERIV：THEINDIANCAMP——THESORTIEFROMTHEFORT

HEADQUARTERS，MORELLA：October3，1838

Itisabalmynight。Ihearthemerryjingleofthetambourine，andthecheeryvoicesofthegirlsandpeasants，astheydancebeneathmycasement，undertheshadowoftheclusteringvines。Thelaughandsongpassgailyround，andevenatthisdistanceIcandistinguishtheelegantformofRamonCabrera，ashewhispersgaynothingsintheearsoftheAndalusiangirls，orjoinsinthethrillingchorusofRiego’shymn，whichiseverandanonvociferatedbytheenthusiasticsoldieryofCarlosQuinto。Iamalone，inthemostinaccessibleandmostbomb—prooftowerofourlittlefortalice；thelargecasementsareopen——thewind，asitenters，whispersinmyearitsodorousrecollectionsoftheorangegroveandthemyrtlebower。Mytorch（abranchofthefragrantcedar—tree）flaresandflickersinthemidnightbreeze，anddispersesitsscentandburningsplintersonmyscrollandthedeskwhereIwrite——meetimplementsforasoldier’sauthorship!——itisCARTRIDGEpaperoverwhichmypenrunssoglibly，andayawningbarrelofgunpowderformsmyroughwriting—table。Aroundme，belowme，aboveme，all——allispeace!Ithink，asIsitheresolonely，onmycountry，England!andmuseoverthesweetandbitterrecollectionsofmyearlydays!Letmeresumemynarrative，atthepointwhere（interruptedbytheauthoritativesummonsofwar）I

pausedonthelastoccasion。

Ileftoff，Ithink——（forIamathousandmilesawayfromproof—

sheetsasIwrite，and，wereInotwritingthesimpleTRUTH，mustcontradictmyselfathousandtimesinthecourseofmytale）——I

think，Isay，thatIleftoffatthatperiodofmystory，when，HolkarbeingbeforeFuttyghur，andIincommandofthatfortress，I

hadjustbeencompelledtomakeawaywithhismessenger：and，dressedinthefallenIndian’saccoutrements，wentforthtoreconnoitretheforce，and，ifpossible，tolearntheintentionsoftheenemy。HowevermuchmyfiguremighthaveresembledthatofthePitan，and，disguisedinhisarmour，mighthavedeceivedthelynx—

eyedMahrattas，intowhosecampIwasabouttoplunge，itwasevidentthatasingleglanceatmyfairfaceandauburnbeardwouldhaveundeceivedthedullestblockheadinHolkar’sarmy。Seizing，then，abottleofBurgess’swalnutcatsup，Idyedmyfaceandmyhands，and，withthesimpleaidofaflaskofWarren’sjet，Imademyhairandbeardasblackasebony。TheIndian’shelmetandchainhoodcoveredlikewiseagreatpartofmyface，andIhopedthus，withluck，impudence，andacompletecommandofalltheEasterndialectsandlanguages，fromBurmahtoAfghanistan，topassscot—

freethroughthissomewhatdangerousordeal。

Ihadnotthewordofthenight，itistrue——butItrustedtogoodfortuneforthat，andpassedboldlyoutofthefortress，bearingtheflagoftruceasbefore；Ihadscarcelypassedonacoupleofhundredyards，whenlo!apartyofIndianhorsemen，armedlikehimIhadjustovercome，trottedtowardsme。Onewasleadinganoblewhitecharger，andnosoonerdidheseemethan，dismountingfromhisownhorse，andgivingthereintoacompanion，headvancedtomeetmewiththecharger；asecondfellowlikewisedismountedandfollowedthefirst：oneheldthebridleofthehorse，whiletheother（withamultitudeofsalaams，aleikums，andothergenuflexions）heldthejewelledstirrup，andkneeling，waiteduntilIshouldmount。

Itookthehintatonce：theIndianwhohadcomeuptothefortwasagreatman——thatwasevident；Iwalkedonwithamajesticair，gatheredupthevelvetreins，andsprungintothemagnificenthigh—

peakedsaddle。"Buk，buk，"saidI。"Itisgood。Inthenameoftheforty—nineImaums，letusrideon。"Andthewholepartysetoffatabrisktrot，Ikeepingsilence，andthinkingwithnolittletrepidationofwhatIwasabouttoencounter。

Aswerodealong，Iheardtwoofthemencommentinguponmyunusualsilence（forIsuppose，I——thatistheIndian——wasatalkativeofficer）。"ThelipsoftheBahawderareclosed，"saidone。"WherearethosebirdsofParadise，hislong—tailedwords？theyareimprisonedbetweenthegoldenbarsofhisteeth!"

"Kush，"saidhiscompanion，"bequiet!BobbachyBahawderhasseenthedreadfulFeringhee，GahaganKhanGujputi，theelephant—lord，whoseswordreapstheharvestofdeath；thereisbutonechampionwhocanwearthepapooshesoftheelephant—slayer——itisBobbachyBahawder!"

"Youspeaktruly，PuneereeMuckun，theBahawderruminatesonthewordsoftheunbeliever：heisanostrich，andhatchestheeggsofhisthoughts。"

"Bekhusm!onmynosebeit!Maytheyoungbirds，hisactions，bestrongandswiftinflight。"

"MaytheyDIGESTIRON!"saidPuneereeMuckun，whowasevidentlyawaginhisway。

"O——ho!"thoughtI，assuddenlythelightflasheduponme。"Itwas，then，thefamousBobbachyBahawderwhomIovercamejustnow!

andheisthemandestinedtostandinmyslippers，ishe？"andI

wasatthatverymomentstandinginhisown!Sucharethechancesandchangesthatfalltothelotofthesoldier!

Isupposeeverybody——everybodywhohasbeeninIndia，atleast——hasheardthenameofBobbachyBahawder：itisderivedfromthetwoHindustaneewords——bobbachy，general；bahawder，artilleryman。HehadenteredintoHolkar’sserviceinthelattercapacity，andhad，byhismeritandhisundauntedbraveryinaction，attainedthedignityofthepeacock’sfeather，whichisonlygrantedtonoblemenofthefirstclass；hewasmarried，moreover，tooneofHolkar’sinnumerabledaughters；amatchwhich，accordingtotheChroniqueScandaleuse，broughtmoreofhonourthanofpleasuretothepoorBobbachy。Gallantashewasinthefield，itwassaidthatintheharemhewastheveriestcravenalive，completelysubjugatedbyhisuglyandodiouswife。InallmattersofimportancethelateBahawderhadbeenconsultedbyhisprince，whohad，asitappears（knowingmycharacter，andnotcaringtodoanythingrashinhisattackuponsoformidableanenemy），sentforwardtheunfortunatePitantoreconnoitrethefort；hewastohavedoneyetmore，asI

learnedfromtheattendantPuneereeMuckun，whowas，Isoonfoundout，anoldfavouritewiththeBobbachy——doubtlessonaccountofhishonestyandloveofrepartee。

"TheBahawder’slipsareclosed，"saidhe，atlast，trottinguptome；"hashenotawordforoldPuneereeMuckun？"

"Bismillah，mashallah，barikallah，"saidI；whichmeans，"Mygoodfriend，whatIhaveseenisnotworththetroubleofrelation，andfillsmybosomwiththedarkestforebodings。"

"YoucouldnotthenseetheGujputialone，andstabhimwithyourdagger？"

[Herewasaprettyconspiracy!]"No，Isawhim，butnotalone；hispeoplewerealwayswithhim。"

"Hurrumzadeh!itisapity；wewaitedbutthesoundofyourjogree（whistle），andstraightwaywouldhavegallopedupandseizeduponeveryman，woman，andchildinthefort：however，therearebutadozenmeninthegarrison，andtheyhavenotprovisionfortwodays——theymustyield；andthenhurrahforthemoon—faces!

Mashallah!Iamtoldthesoldierswhofirstgetinaretohavetheirpick。Howmyoldwoman，RoteeMuckun，willbesurprisedwhenIbringhomeacoupleofFeringheewives，——ha!ha!"

"Fool!"saidI，"bestill!——twelvemeninthegarrisontherearetwelvehundred!Gahaganhimselfisasgoodasathousandmen；andasforfood，IsawwithmyowneyesfivehundredbullocksgrazinginthecourtyardasIentered。"ThisWASabouncer，Iconfess；butmyobjectwastodeceivePuneereeMuckun，andgivehimashighanotionaspossibleofthecapabilitiesofdefencewhichthebesiegedhad。

"Pooch，pooch，"murmuredthemen；"itisawonderofafortress：

weshallneverbeabletotakeituntilourgunscomeup。"

Therewashopethen!theyhadnobattering—train。ErethisarrivedItrustedthatLordLakewouldhearofourplight，andmarchdowntorescueus。Thusoccupiedinthoughtandconversation，werodeonuntiltheadvancedsentinelchallengedus，whenoldPuneereegavetheword，andwepassedonintothecentreofHolkar’scamp。

Itwasastrange——astirringsight!Thecamp—fireswerelighted；

androundthem——eating，reposing，talking，lookingatthemerrystepsofthedancing—girls，orlisteningtothestoriesofsomeDholBaut（orIndianimprovisatore）——werethousandsofduskysoldiery。Thecamelsandhorseswerepicketedunderthebanyan—

trees，onwhichtheripemangofruitwasgrowing，andofferedthemanexcellentfood。Towardsthespotwhichthegoldenfishandroyalpurdahs，floatinginthewind，designatedasthetentofHolkar，ledanimmenseavenue——ofelephants!thefineststreet，indeed，Ieversaw。Eachofthemonstrousanimalshadacastleonitsback，armedwithMauritanianarchersandthecelebratedPersianmatchlock—men：itwasthefeedingtimeoftheseroyalbrutes，andthegroomswereobservedbringingimmensetoffungs，orbaskets，filledwithpine—apples，plantains，bananas，Indiancorn，andcocoa—nuts，whichgrowluxuriantlyatallseasonsoftheyear。Wepasseddownthisextraordinaryavenue——nolessthanthreehundredandeighty—eighttailsdidIcountoneachside——eachtailappertainingtoanelephanttwenty—fivefeethigh——eachelephanthavingatwo—storiedcastleonitsback——eachcastlecontainingsleepingandeatingroomsforthetwelvementhatformeditsgarrison，andwerekeepingwatchontheroof——eachroofbearingaflagstafftwentyfeetlongonitstop，thecrescentglitteringwithathousandgems，androundittheimperialstandard，——eachstandardofsilkvelvetandcloth—of—gold，bearingthewell—knowndeviceofHolkar，argentanorgules，betweenasinopleofthefirst，achevrontruncated，wavy。Itooknineofthesemyselfinthecourseofaveryshorttimeafter，andshallbehappy，whenIcometoEngland，toshowthemtoanygentlemanwhohasacuriositythatway。Throughthisgorgeoussceneourlittlecavalcadepassed，andatlastwearrivedatthequartersoccupiedbyHolkar。

Thatcelebratedchieftain’stentsandfollowersweregatheredroundoneoftheBritishbungalowswhichhadescapedtheflames，andwhichheoccupiedduringthesiege。WhenIenteredthelargeroomwherehesat，Ifoundhiminthemidstofacouncilofwar；hischiefgeneralsandviziersseatedroundhim，eachsmokinghishookah，asisthecommonwaywiththeseblackfellows，before，at，andafterbreakfast，dinner，supper，andbedtime。Therewassuchacloudraisedbytheirsmokeyoucouldhardlyseeayardbeforeyou—

—anotherpieceofgood—luckforme——asitdiminishedthechancesofmydetection。When，withtheordinaryceremonies，thekitmatgarsandconsomahshadexplainedtotheprincethatBobbachyBahawder，therighteyeoftheSunoftheUniverse（astheignorantheathenscalledme），hadarrivedfromhismission，Holkarimmediatelysummonedmetothemaidaun，orelevatedplatform，onwhichhewasseatedinaluxuriouseasy—chair，andI，instantlytakingoffmyslippers，fallingonmyknees，andbeatingmyheadagainstthegroundninety—ninetimes，proceeded，stillonmyknees，ahundredandtwentyfeetthroughtheroom，andthenupthetwentystepswhichledtohismaidaun——asilly，painful，anddisgustingceremony，whichcanonlybeconsideredasarelicofbarbariandarkness，whichtearsthekneesandshinstopieces，letalonethepantaloons。IrecommendanybodywhogoestoIndia，withtheprospectofenteringtheserviceofthenativerajahs，torecollectmyadvice，andhavethemWELLWADDED。

Well，therighteyeoftheSunoftheUniversescrambledaswellashecouldupthestepsofthemaidaun（onwhich，inrows，smoking，asIhavesaid，themusnudsorgeneralofficerswereseated），andI

arrivedwithinspeakingdistanceofHolkar，whoinstantlyaskedmethesuccessofmymission。Theimpetuousoldmanthereonpouredoutamultitudeofquestions："Howmanymenarethereinthefort？"saidhe；"howmanywomen？Isitvictualled？havetheyammunition？DidyouseeGahaganSahib，thecommander？didyoukillhim？"

AllthesequestionsJeswuntRowHolkarpuffedoutwithsomanywhiffsoftobacco。

Takingachillummyself，andraisingaboutmesuchacloudthat，uponmyhonourasagentleman，nomanatthreeyards’distancecouldperceiveanythingofmeexceptthepillarofsmokeinwhichI

wasencompassed，ItoldHolkar，inOrientallanguageofcourse，thebesttaleIcouldwithregardtothefort。

"Sir，"saidI，"toansweryourlastquestionfirst——thatdreadfulGujputiIhaveseen——andheisalive：heiseightfeet，nearly，inheight；hecaneatabullockdaily（ofwhichhehassevenhundredatpresentinthecompound，andswearsthatduringthesiegehewillcontenthimselfwithonlythreeaweek）：hehaslost，inbattle，hislefteye；andwhatistheconsequence？ORamGunge"（O

thou—with—the—eye—as—bright—as—morningand—with—beard—as—black—as—

night），"GoliahGujputi——NEVERSLEEPS!"

"Ah，youGhorumsaug（youthiefoftheworld），"saidthePrinceVizier，SaadutAleeBegBimbukchee——"it’sjokingyouare；"——andtherewasauniversalbuzzthroughtheroomattheannouncementofthisbouncer。

"BythehundredandelevenincarnationsofVishnu，"saidI，solemnly（anoathwhichnoIndianwaseverknowntobreak），"I

swearthatsoitis：soatleasthetoldme，andIhavegoodcausetoknowhispower。Gujputiisanenchanter：heisleaguedwithdevils；heisinvulnerable。Look，"saidI，unsheathingmydagger——

andeveryeyeturnedinstantlytowardsme——"thricedidIstabhimwiththissteel——intheback，once——twicerightthroughtheheart；

butheonlylaughedmetoscorn，andbademetellHolkarthatthesteelwasnotyetforgedwhichwastoinflictaninjuryuponhim。"

IneversawamaninsucharageasHolkarwaswhenIgavehimthissomewhatimprudentmessage。

"Ah，lily—liveredrogue!"shoutedheouttome，"milk—bloodedunbeliever!pale—facedmiscreant!livesheafterinsultingthymasterinthypresence？InthenameoftheProphet，Ispitonthee，defythee，abhorthee，degradethee!Takethat，thouliaroftheuniverse!andthat——andthat——andthat!"

Sucharethefrightfulexcessesofbarbaricminds!everytimethisoldmansaid，"Takethat，"heflungsomearticlenearhimattheheadoftheundauntedGahagan——hisdagger，hissword，hiscarbine，hisrichlyornamentedpistols，histurbancoveredwithjewels，worthahundredthousandcroresofrupees——finally，hishookah，snakemouthpiece，silver—bell，chillumandall——whichwenthissingovermyhead，andflatteningintoajellythenoseoftheGrandVizier。

"Yockmuzzee!mynoseisoff，"saidtheoldman，mildly。"Willyouhavemylife，OHolkar？itisthinelikewise!"andnootherwordofcomplaintescapedhislips。

Ofallthesemissiles，thoughapistolandcarbinehadgoneoffastheferociousIndianflungthematmyhead，andthenakedscimitar，fiercelybutunadroitlythrown，hadloppedoffthelimbsofoneortwoofthemusnudsastheysattremblingontheiromrahs，yet，strangetosay，notasingleweaponhadhurtme。Whenthehubbubceased，andtheunluckywretcheswhohadbeenthevictimsofthisfitofragehadbeenremoved，Holkar’sgood—humoursomewhatreturned，andheallowedmetocontinuemyaccountofthefort；

whichIdid，nottakingtheslightestnoticeofhisburstofimpatience：asindeeditwouldhavebeentheheightofimpolitenesstohavedone，forsuchaccidentshappenedmanytimesintheday。

"ItiswellthattheBobbachyhasreturned，"snuffledoutthepoorGrandVizier，afterIhadexplainedtotheCounciltheextraordinarymeansofdefencepossessedbythegarrison。

"Yourstarisbright，OBahawder!forthisverynightwehadresolveduponanescaladeofthefort，andwehadsworntoputeveryoneoftheinfidelgarrisontotheedgeofthesword。"

"Butyouhavenobatteringtrain，"saidI。

"Bah!wehaveacoupleofninety—sixpounders，quitesufficienttoblowthegatesopen；andthen，heyforacharge!"saidLollMahommed，ageneralofcavalry，whowasarivalofBobbachy’s，andcontradicted，therefore，everywordIsaid。"InthenameofJuggernaut，whywaitfortheheavyartillery？Havewenotswords？

Havewenothearts？Mashallah!LetcravensstaywithBobbachy，alltruemenwillfollowLollMahommed!Allahhumdillah，Bismillah，Barikallah？"{7}anddrawinghisscimitar，hewaveditoverhishead，andshoutedouthiscryofbattle。Itwasrepeatedbymanyoftheotheromrahs；thesoundoftheircheerswascarriedintothecamp，andcaughtupbythemen；thecamelsbegantocry，thehorsestopranceandneigh，theeighthundredelephantssetupascream，thetrumpetersanddrummersclangedawayattheirinstruments。I

neverheardsuchadinbeforeorafter。HowItrembledformylittlegarrisonwhenIheardtheenthusiasticcriesofthisinnumerablehost!

Therewasbutonewayforit。"Sir，"saidI，addressingHolkar，"gooutto—night，andyougotocertaindeath。LollMahommedhasnotseenthefortasIhave。Passthegateifyouplease，andforwhat？tofallbeforethefireofahundredpiecesofartillery；tostormanothergate，andthenanother，andthentobeblownup，withGahagan’sgarrisoninthecitadel。Whotalksofcourage？WereI

notinyouraugustpresence，Ostarofthefaithful，IwouldcropLollMahommed’snosefromhisface，andwearhisearsasanornamentinmyownpugree!Whoisthereherethatknowsnotthedifferencebetweenyonderyellow—skinnedcowardandGahaganKhanGuj——ImeanBobbachyBahawder？Iamreadytofightone，two，three，ortwentyofthem，atbroad—sword，small—sword，single—

stick，withfistsifyouplease。Bytheholypiper，fightingislikemateanddthrinktoGa———toBobbachy，Imane——whoop!comeon，youdivvle，andI’llbatetheskinoffyouruglybones。"

Thisspeechhadverynearlyprovedfataltome，for，whenIamagitated，Iinvoluntarilyadoptsomeofthephraseologypeculiartomyowncountry；whichissoun—eastern，that，hadtherebeenanysuspicionastomyrealcharacter，detectionmustindubitablyhaveensued。Asitwas，Holkarperceivednothing，butinstantaneouslystoppedthedispute。LollMahommed，however，evidentlysuspectedsomething；for，asHolkar，withavoiceofthunder，shoutedout；

"Tomasha（silence），"Lollsprangforwardandgaspedout—

"Mylord!mylord!thisisnotBob——"

Buthecouldsaynomore。"Gagtheslave!"screamedoutHolkar，stampingwithfury；andaturbanwasinstantlytwistedroundthepoordevil’sjaws。"Ho，furoshes!carryoutLollMahommedKhan，givehimahundreddozenonthesolesofhisfeet，sethimuponawhitedonkey，andcarryhimroundthecamp，withaninscriptionbeforehim：’ThisisthewaythatHolkarrewardsthetalkative。’"

Ibreathedagain；andeverasIheardeachwhackofthebamboofallingonLollMahommed’sfeet，Ifeltpeacereturningtomymind，andthankedmystarsthatIwasdeliveredofthisdanger。

"Vizier，"saidHolkar，whoenjoyedLoll’sroarsamazingly，"Ioweyouareparationforyournose：kissthehandofyourprince，O

SaadutAleeBegBimbukchee!befromthisdayforthZoheiruDowlut!"

Thegoodoldman’seyesfilledwithtears。"Icanbearthyseverity，OPrince，"saidhe；"Icannotbearthylove。WasitnotanhonourthatyourHighnessdidmejustnowwhenyoucondescendedtopassoverthebridgeofyourslave’snose？"

Thephrasewasbyallvoicespronouncedtobeverypoetical。TheVizierretired，crownedwithhisnewhonours，tobed。Holkarwasinhighgood—humour。

"Bobbachy，"saidhe，"thou，too，mustpardonme。Apropos，Ihavenewsforthee。Yourwife，theincomparablePutteeRooge"（whiteandredrose），"hasarrivedincamp。"

"MyWIFE，mylord!"saidI，aghast。

"Ourdaughter，thelightofthineeyes!Go，myson；Iseethouartwildwithjoy。ThePrincess’stentsaresetupclosebymine，andIknowthoulongesttojoinher。"

Mywife？Herewasacomplicationtruly!

CHAPTERV：THEISSUEOFMYINTERVIEWWITHMYWIFE

IfoundPuneereeMuckun，withtherestofmyattendants，waitingatthegate，andtheyimmediatelyconductedmetomyowntentsintheneighbourhood。Ihavebeeninmanydangerouspredicamentsbeforethattimeandsince，butIdon’tcaretodenythatIfeltinthepresentinstancesuchathrobbingoftheheartasIneverhaveexperiencedwhenleadingaforlornhope，ormarchinguptoabattery。

AssoonasIenteredthetentsahostofmenialssprangforward，sometoeasemeofmyarmour，sometooffermerefreshments，somewithhookahs，attarofroses（ingreatquartbottles），andthethousanddelicaciesofEasternlife。Imotionedthemaway。"I

willwearmyarmour，"saidI；"Ishallgoforthto—night。Carrymydutytotheprincess，andsayIgrievethatto—nightIhavenotthetimetoseeher。Spreadmeacouchhere，andbringmesupperhere：

ajarofPersianwinewellcooled，alambstuffedwithpistachio—

nuts，apillawofacoupleofturkeys，acurriedkid——anything。

Begone!Givemeapipe；leavemealone，andtellmewhenthemealisready。"

IthoughtbythesemeanstoputoffthefairPutteeRooge，andhopedtobeabletoescapewithoutsubjectingmyselftotheexaminationofhercuriouseyes。Aftersmokingforawhile，anattendantcametotellmethatmysupperwaspreparedintheinnerapartmentofthetent（Isupposethatthereader，ifhebepossessedofthecommonestintelligence，knowsthatthetentsoftheIndiangrandeesaremadeofthefinestCashmereShawls，andcontainadozenroomsatleast，withcarpets，chimneys，andsash—

windowscomplete）。Ientered，Isay，intoaninnerchamber，andtherebeganwithmyfingerstodevourmymealintheOrientalfashion，taking，everynowandthen，apullfromthewine—jar，whichwascoolingdeliciouslyinanotherjarofsnow。

Iwasjustintheactofdespatchingthelastmorselofamostsavourystewedlambandrice，whichhadformedmymeal，whenI

heardascuffleoffeet，ashrillclatteroffemalevoices，and，thecurtainbeingflungopen，inmarchedaladyaccompaniedbytwelveslaves，withmoonfacesandslimwaists，lovelyasthehourisinParadise。

Theladyherself，todoherjustice，wasasgreatacontrasttoherattendantsascouldpossiblybe：shewascrooked，old，ofthecomplexionofmolasses，andrenderedathousandtimesmoreuglybythetawdrydressandtheblazingjewelswithwhichshewascovered。

Alineofyellowchalkdrawnfromherforeheadtothetipofhernose（whichwasfurtherornamentedbyanimmenseglitteringnose—

ring），hereyelidspaintedbrightred，andalargedabofthesamecolouronherchin，showedshewasnotoftheMussulman，buttheBrahminfaith——andofaveryhighcaste：youcouldseethatbyhereyes。Mymindwasinstantaneouslymadeupastomylineofaction。

Themaleattendantshadofcoursequittedtheapartment，astheyheardthewell—knownsoundofhervoice。Itwouldhavebeendeathtothemtohaveremainedandlookedinherface。Thefemalesrangedthemselvesroundtheirmistress，asshesquatteddownoppositetome。

"Andisthis，"saidshe，"awelcome，OKhan!aftersixmonths’

absence，forthemostunfortunateandlovingwifeinalltheworld？

Isthislamb，Oglutton!halfsotenderasthyspouse？Isthiswine，Osot!halfsosweetasherlooks？"

Isawthestormwasbrewing——herslaves，towhomsheturned，keptupakindofchorus：—

"Oh，thefaithlessone!"criedthey。"Oh，therascal，thefalseone，whohasnoeyeforbeauty，andnoheartforlove，liketheKhanum’s!"

"Alambisnotsosweetaslove，"saidIgravely；"butalambhasagoodtemper：awine—cupisnotsointoxicatingasawoman——butawine—cuphasNOTONGUE，OKhanumGee!"andagainIdippedmynoseinthesoul—refreshingjar。

ThesweetPutteeRoogewasnot，however，tobeputoffbymyrepartees；sheandhermaidensrecommencedtheirchorus，andchatteredandstormeduntilIlostallpatience。

"Retire，friends，"saidI，"andleavemeinpeace。"

"Stir，onyourperil!"criedtheKhanum。

So，seeingtherewasnohelpforitbutviolence，Idrewoutmypistols，cockedthem，andsaid，"Ohouris!thesepistolscontaineachtwoballs：thedaughterofHolkarbearsasacredlifeforme—

—butforyou!——byallthesaintsofHindustan，fourofyeshalldieifyestayamomentlongerinmypresence!"Thiswasenough；theladiesgaveashriek，andskurriedoutoftheapartmentlikeacoveyofpartridgesonthewing。

Now，then，wasthetimeforaction。Mywife，orratherBobbachy’swife，satstill，alittleflurriedbytheunusualferocitywhichherlordhaddisplayedinherpresence。Iseizedherhandand，grippingitclose，whisperedinherear，towhichIputtheotherpistol：—"OKhanum，listenandscreamnot；themomentyouscream，youdie!"Shewascompletelybeaten：sheturnedaspaleasawomancouldinhersituation，andsaid，"Speak，BobbachyBahawder，Iamdumb。"

"Woman，"saidI，takingoffmyhelmet，andremovingthechaincapewhichhadcoveredalmostthewholeofmyface——"IAMNOTTHY

HUSBAND——Iamtheslayerofelephants，theworld—renownedGAHAGAN!"

AsIsaidthis，andasthelongringletsofredhairfellovermyshoulders（contrastingstrangelywithmydyedfaceandbeard），I

formedoneofthefinestpicturesthatcanpossiblybeconceived，andIrecommenditasasubjecttoMr。Heath，forthenext"BookofBeauty。"

"Wretch!"saidshe，"whatwouldstthou？"

"Youblack—facedfiend，"saidI，"raisebutyourvoice，andyouaredead!"

"Andafterwards，"saidshe，"doyousupposethatYOUcanescape？

ThetormentsofhellarenotsoterribleasthetorturesthatHolkarwillinventforthee。"

"Tortures，madam？"answeredI，coolly。"Fiddlesticks!Youwillneitherbetrayme，norwillIbeputtothetorture：onthecontrary，youwillgivemeyourbestjewelsandfacilitatemyescapetothefort。Don’tgrindyourteethandswearatme。

Listen，madam：youknowthisdressandthesearms；——theyarethearmsofyourhusband，BobbachyBahawder——MYPRISONER。Henowliesinyonderfort，andifIdonotreturnbeforedaylight，atsunrisehedies：andthen，whentheysendhiscorpsebacktoHolkar，whatwillyou，hisWIDOW，do？

"Oh!"saidshe，shuddering，"spareme，spareme!"

"I’lltellyouwhatyouwilldo。Youwillhavethepleasureofdyingalongwithhim——ofBEINGROASTED，madam：anagonisingdeath，fromwhichyourfathercannotsaveyou，towhichhewillbethefirstmantocondemnandconductyou。Ha!Iseeweunderstandeachother，andyouwillgivemeoverthecash—boxandjewels。"

AndsosayingIthrewmyselfbackwiththecalmestairimaginable，flingingthepistolsovertoher。"Lightmeapipe，mylove，"saidI，"andthengoandhandmeoverthedollars：doyouhear？"YouseeIhadherinmypower——upatree，astheAmericanssay，andsheveryhumblylightedmypipeforme，andthendepartedforthegoodsIspokeabout。

Whatathingisluck!IfLollMahommedhadnotbeenmadetotakethatrideroundthecamp，Ishouldinfalliblyhavebeenlost。

Mysupper，myquarrelwiththeprincess，andmypipeafterwards，hadoccupiedacoupleofhoursofmytime。Theprincessreturnedfromherquest，andbroughtwithherthebox，containingvaluablestotheamountofaboutthreemillionssterling。（Iwascheatedofthemafterwards，buthavetheboxstill，aplaindealone。）Iwasjustabouttotakemydeparture，whenatremendousknocking，shouting，andscreamingwasheardattheentranceofthetent。ItwasHolkarhimself，accompaniedbythatcursedLollMahommed，who，afterhispunishment，foundhismasterrestoredtogood—humour，andhadcommunicatedtohimhisfirmconvictionthatIwasanimpostor。

"Ho，Begum!"shoutedhe，intheante—room（forheandhispeoplecouldnotenterthewomen’sapartments），"speak，Omydaughter!isyourhusbandreturned？"

"Speak，madam，"saidI，"orREMEMBERTHEROASTING。"

"Heis，Papa，"saidtheBegum。

"Areyousure？Ho!ho!ho!"（theoldruffianwaslaughingoutside）——"areyousureitis？——Ha!aha!——he—e—e!"

"Indeeditishe，andnoother。Iprayyou，father，togo，andtopassnomoresuchshamelessjestsonyourdaughter。HaveIeverseenthefaceofanyotherman？"Andhereatshebegantoweepasifherheartwouldbreak——thedeceitfulminx!

Holkar’slaughwasinstantlyturnedtofury。"Oh，youliarandeternalthief!"saidhe，turninground（asIpresume，forIcouldonlyhear）toLollMahommed，"tomakeyourprinceeatsuchmonstrousdirtasthis!Furoshes，seizethisman。Idismisshimfrommyservice，Idegradehimfromhisrank，Iappropriatetomyselfallhisproperty：andharkye，furoshes，GIVEHIMAHUNDRED

DOZENMORE!"

AgainIheardthewhacksofthebamboos，andpeaceflowedintomysoul。

***

Justasmornbegantobreak，twofigureswereseentoapproachthelittlefortressofFuttyghur：onewasawomanwrappedcloselyinaveil；theotherawarrior，remarkableforthesizeandmanlybeautyofhisform，whocarriedinhishandadealboxofconsiderablesize。Thewarrioratthegategavethewordandwasadmitted；thewomanreturnedslowlytotheIndiancamp。HernamewasPutteeRooge；hiswas—

G。O’G。G。，M。H。E。I。C。S……C。I。H。A。

CHAPTERVI：FAMINEINTHEGARRISON

Thusmydangersforthenightbeingovercome，Ihastenedwithmypreciousboxintomyownapartment，whichcommunicatedwithanother，whereIhadleftmyprisoner，withaguardtoreportifheshouldrecover，andtopreventhisescape。Myservant，Ghorumsaug，wasoneoftheguard。Icalledhim，andthefellowcame，lookingverymuchconfusedandfrightened，asitseemed，atmyappearance。

"Why，Ghorumsaug，"saidI，"whatmakestheelooksopale，fellow？"

（Hewasaswhiteasasheet。）"Itisthymaster，dostthounotrememberhim？"ThemanhadseenmedressmyselfinthePitan’sclothes，butwasnotpresentwhenIhadblackedmyfaceandbeardinthemannerIhavedescribed。

"OBramah，Vishnu，andMahomet!"criedthefaithfulfellow，"anddoIseemydearmasterdisguisedinthisway？ForHeaven’ssakeletmeridyouofthisodiousblackpaint；forwhatwilltheladiessayintheballroom，ifthebeautifulFeringheeshouldappearamongstthemwithhisrosesturnedintocoal？"

IamstilloneofthefinestmeninEurope，andatthetimeofwhichIwrite，whenonlytwo—and—twenty，IconfessIwasalittlevainofmypersonalappearance，andnotverywillingtoappearbeforemydearBelindadisguisedlikeablackamoor。IallowedGhorumsaugtodivestmeoftheheathenisharmourandhabilimentswhichIwore；andhaving，withaworldofscrubbingandtrouble，divestedmyfaceandbeardoftheirblacktinge，Iputonmyownbecominguniform，andhastenedtowaitontheladies；hastened，I

say，——althoughdelayedwouldhavebeenthebetterword，fortheoperationofbleachinglastedatleasttwohours。

"Howistheprisoner，Ghorumsaug？"saidI，beforeleavingmyapartment。

"HehasrecoveredfromtheblowwhichtheLiondealthim；twomenandmyselfwatchoverhim；andMacgillicuddySahib（thesecondincommand）hasjustbeentherounds，andhasseenthatallwassecure。"

IbadeGhorumsaughelpmetoputawaymychestoftreasure（myexultationintakingitwassogreatthatIcouldnothelpinforminghimofitscontents）；andthisdone，Idespatchedhimtohispostneartheprisoner，whileIpreparedtosallyforthandpaymyrespectstothefaircreaturesundermyprotection。"WhatgoodafterallhaveIdone，"thoughtItomyself，"inthisexpeditionwhichIhadsorashlyundertaken？"IhadseentherenownedHolkar；

Ihadbeenintheheartofhiscamp；Iknewthedispositionofhistroops，thattherewereeleventhousandofthem，andthatheonlywaitedforhisgunstomakearegularattackonthefort。IhadseenPutteeRooge；Ihadrobbedher（IsayROBBEDher，andIdon’tcarewhatthereaderoranyothermanmaythinkoftheact）ofadealbox，containingjewelstotheamountofthreemillionssterling，thepropertyofherselfandhusband。

Threemillionsinmoneyandjewels!Andwhatthedeuceweremoneyandjewelstomeortomypoorgarrison？CouldmyadorableMissBulchereatafricasseeofdiamonds，or，Cleopatra—like，meltdownpearlstohertea？CouldI，carelessasIamaboutfood，withastomachthatwoulddigestanything——（once，inSpain，Iatethelegofahorseduringafamine，andwassoeagertoswallowthismorselthatIboltedtheshoe，aswellasthehoof，andneverfelttheslightestinconveniencefromeither）——couldI，Isay，expecttolivelongandwelluponaragoutofrupees，oradishofstewedemeraldsandrubies？WithallthewealthofCroesusbeforemeI

feltmelancholy；andwouldhavepaidcheerfullyitsweightincaratsforagoodhonestroundofboiledbeef。Wealth，wealth，whatartthou？Whatisgold？——Softmetal。Whatarediamonds？——

Shiningtinsel。Thegreatwealth—winners，theonlyfame—achievers，thesoleobjectsworthyofasoldier’sconsideration，arebeefsteaks，gunpowder，andcoldiron。

Thetwolattermeansofcompetencywepossessed；Ihadinmyownapartmentsasmallstoreofgunpowder（keepingitundermyownbed，withacandleburningforfearofaccidents）；Ihad14piecesofartillery（4long48’sand4carronades，5howitzers，andalongbrassmortar，forgrape，whichIhadtakenmyselfatthebattleofAssaye），andmusketsfortentimesmyforce。Mygarrison，asI

havetoldthereaderinapreviousnumber，consistedof40men，twochaplains，andasurgeon；addtothesemyguests，83innumber，ofwhomnineonlyweregentlemen（intights，powder，pigtails，andsilkstockings，whohadcomeoutmerelyforadance，andfoundthemselvesinforasiege）。Suchwereournumbers：—

Troopsandartillerymen40

Ladies74

Othernon—combatants11

MAJOR—GENERALO’G。GAHAGAN1，000

1，125

Icountmyselfgoodforathousand，forsoIwasregularlyratedinthearmy：withthisgreatbenefittoit，thatIonlyconsumedasmuchasanordinarymortal。Wewerethen，asfarasthevictualswent，126mouths；ascombatantswenumbered1，040gallantmen，with12gunsandafort，againstHolkarandhis12，000。Nosuchalarmingodds，if—

IF!——ay，therewastherub——IFwehadSHOT，aswellaspowderforourguns；IFwehadnotonlyMENbutMEAT。Oftheformercommoditywehadonlythreeroundsforeachpiece。Ofthelatter，uponmysacredhonour，tofeed126souls，wehadbutTwodrumsticksoffowls，andaboneofham。

Fourteenbottlesofginger—beer。

Ofsoda—water，fourditto。

TwobottlesoffineSpanisholives。

Raspberrycream——theremainderoftwodishes。

Sevenmacaroons，lyinginthepuddleofademolishedtrifle。

HalfadrumofbestTurkeyfigs。

Somebitsofbrokenbread；twoDutchcheeses（whole）；thecrustofanoldStilton；andaboutanounceofalmondsandraisins。

Threeham—sandwiches，andapotofcurrant—jelly，and197bottlesofbrandy，rum，madeira，paleale（myprivatestock）；acoupleofhardeggsforasalad，andaflaskofFlorenceoil。

Thiswastheprovisionforthewholegarrison!Themenaftersupperhadseizedupontherelicsoftherepast，astheywerecarriedofffromthetable；andthesewerethemiserableremnantsI

foundandcountedonmyreturn；takinggoodcaretolockthedoorofthesupper—room，andtreasurewhatlittlesustenancestillremainedinit。

WhenIappearedinthesaloon，nowlightedupbythemorningsun，I

notonlycausedasensationmyself，butfeltoneinmyownbosomwhichwasofthemostpainfuldescription。Oh，myreader!mayyouneverbeholdsuchasightasthatwhichpresenteditself：eighty—

threemenandwomeninball—dresses；theformerwiththeirlankpowderedlocksstreamingovertheirfaces；thelatterwithfadedflowers，uncurledwigs，smudgedrouge，bleareyes，dragglingfeathers，rumpledsatins——eachmoredesperatelymelancholyandhideousthantheother——each，exceptmybelovedBelindaBulcher，whoseravenringletsneverhavingbeenincurlcouldofcoursenevergooutofcurl；whosecheek，paleasthelily，could，asitmaynaturallybesupposed，grownopaler；whoseneckandbeauteousarms，dazzlingasalabaster，needednopearl—powder，andtherefore，asIneednotstate，didnotsufferbecausethepearl—powderhadcomeoff。Joy（deftlink—boy!）lithislampsineachofhereyesasIentered。AsifIhadbeenhersun，herspring，lo!blushingrosesmantledinhercheek!Seventy—threeladies，asIentered，openedtheirfireuponme，andstunnedmewithcross—questions，regardingmyadventuresinthecamp——SHE，asshesawme，gaveafaintscream（thesweetest，sure，thatevergurgledthroughthethroatofawoman!）thenstartedup——thenmadeasifshewouldsitdown——thenmovedbackwards——thentotteredforwards——thentumbledintomy——Psha!whyrecall，whyattempttodescribethatdelicious——

thatpassionategreetingoftwoyounghearts？Whatwasthesurroundingcrowdtous？Whatcaredweforthesneersofthemen，thetittersofthejealouswomen，theshrill"Uponmyword!"oftheelderMissBulcher，andtheloudexpostulationsofBelinda’smamma？

Thebravegirllovedme，andweptinmyarms。"Goliah!myGoliah!"

saidshe，"mybrave，mybeautiful，THOUartreturned，andhopecomesbackwiththee。Oh!whocantelltheanguishofmysoul，duringthisdreadfuldreadfulnight!"Othersimilarejaculationsofloveandjoysheuttered；andifIHADperilledlifeinherservice，ifIDIDbelievethathopeofescapetherewasnone，soexquisitewasthemomentofourmeeting，thatIforgotallelseinthisoverwhelmingjoy!

***

[TheMajor’sdescriptionofthismeeting，whichlastedattheverymostnottenseconds，occupiesthirteenpagesofwriting。Wehavebeencompelledtodockofftwelve—and—a—half；forthewholepassage，thoughhighlycreditabletohisfeelings，mightpossiblybetedioustothereader。]

***

AsIsaid，theladiesandgentlemenwereinclinedtosneer，andweregigglingaudibly。Iledthedeargirltoachair，and，scowlingroundwithatremendousfierceness，whichthosewhoknowmeknowIcansometimesputon，Ishoutedout，"Harkye!menandwomen——Iamthislady’struestknight——herhusbandIhopeonedaytobe。Iamcommander，too，inthisfort——theenemyiswithoutit；

anotherwordofmockery——anotherglanceofscorn——and，byHeaven，I

willhurleverymanandwomanfromthebattlements，apreytotheruffianlyHolkar!"Thisquietedthem。Iamamanofmyword，andnoneofthemstirredorlookeddisrespectfullyfromthatmoment。

Itwasnowmyturntomakethemlookfoolish。Mrs。

Vandegobbleschroy（whoseunfailingappetiteisprettywellknowntoeverypersonwhohasbeeninIndia）cried，"Well，CaptainGahagan，yourballhasbeensopleasant，andthesupperwasdespatchedsolongago，thatmyselfandtheladieswouldbeverygladofalittlebreakfast。"AndMrs。Vangiggledasifshehadmadeaverywittyandreasonablespeech。"Oh!breakfast，breakfast，byallmeans，"

saidtherest；"wereallyaredyingforawarmcupoftea。"

"Isitbohaytayorsouchongtaythatyou’dlike，ladies？"saysI。

"Nonsense，yousillyman；anyteayoulike，"saidfatMrs。Van。

"Whatdoyousay，then，tosomeprimeGUNPOWDER？"Ofcoursetheysaiditwastheverything。

"Anddoyoulikehotrowlsorcowld——muffinsorcrumpets——freshbutterorsalt？Andyou，gentlemen，whatdoyousaytosomeilegantdivvled—kidneysforyourselves，andjustatrifleofgrilledturkeys，andacoupleofhundthrednew—laideggsfortheladies？"

"Pooh，pooh!beitasyouwill，mydearfellow，"answeredtheyall。

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