WhenIdevisedthisstory，Iforesawthelikelihoodthataclassof

readersandcommentatorswouldsupposethatIwasatgreatpains

toconcealexactlywhatIwasatgreatpainstosuggest:namely，

thatMrJohnHarmonwasnotslain，andthatMrJohnRokesmith

washe。Pleasingmyselfwiththeideathatthesuppositionmight

inpartariseoutofsomeingenuityinthestory，andthinkingit

worthwhile，intheinterestsofart，tohinttoanaudiencethatan

artist(ofwhateverdenomination)mayperhapsbetrustedtoknow

whatheisaboutinhisvocation，iftheywillconcedehimalittle

patience，Iwasnotalarmedbytheanticipation。

Tokeepforalongtimeunsuspected，yetalwaysworkingitselfout，

anotherpurposeoriginatinginthatleadingincident，andturningit

toapleasantandusefulaccountatlast，wasatoncethemost

interestingandthemostdifficultpartofmydesign。Itsdifficulty

wasmuchenhancedbythemodeofpublication；for，itwouldbe

veryunreasonabletoexpectthatmanyreaders，pursuingastoryin

portionsfrommonthtomonththroughnineteenmonths，will，until

theyhaveitbeforethemcomplete，perceivetherelationsofitsfiner

threadstothewholepatternwhichisalwaysbeforetheeyesofthe

story-weaverathisloom。Yet，thatIholdtheadvantagesofthe

modeofpublicationtooutweighitsdisadvantages，maybeeasily

believedofonewhoreviveditinthePickwickPapersafterlong

disuse，andhaspursuediteversince。

Thereissometimesanodddispositioninthiscountrytodisputeas

improbableinfiction，whatarethecommonestexperiencesinfact。

Therefore，Inotehere，thoughitmaynotbeatallnecessary，that

therearehundredsofWillCases(astheyarecalled)，farmore

remarkablethanthatfanciedinthisbook；andthatthestoresofthe

PrerogativeOfficeteemwithinstancesoftestatorswhohavemade，

changed，contradicted，hidden，forgotten，leftcancelled，andleft

uncancelled，eachmanymorewillsthanwereevermadebythe

elderMrHarmonofHarmonyJail。

InmysocialexperiencessinceMrsBettyHigdencameuponthe

sceneandleftit，IhavefoundCircumlocutionalchampions

disposedtobewarmwithmeonthesubjectofmyviewofthePoor

Law。MrfriendMrBounderbycouldneverseeanydifference

betweenleavingtheCoketown'hands'exactlyastheywere，and

requiringthemtobefedwithturtlesoupandvenisonoutofgold

spoons。Idioticpropositionsofaparallelnaturehavebeenfreely

offeredformyacceptance，andIhavebeencalledupontoadmit

thatIwouldgivePoorLawrelieftoanybody，anywhere，anyhow。

Puttingthisnonsenseaside，Ihaveobservedasuspicioustendency

inthechampionstodivideintotwoparties；theone，contending

thattherearenodeservingPoorwhopreferdeathbyslow

starvationandbitterweather，tothemerciesofsomeRelieving

OfficersandsomeUnionHouses；theother，admittingthatthere

aresuchPoor，butdenyingthattheyhaveanycauseorreasonfor

whattheydo。Therecordsinournewspapers，thelateexposureby

THELANCET，andthecommonsenseandsensesofcommon

people，furnishtooabundantevidenceagainstbothdefences。But，

thatmyviewofthePoorLawmaynotbemistakenor

misrepresented，Iwillstateit。IbelievetherehasbeeninEngland，

sincethedaysoftheSTUARTS，nolawsoofteninfamously

administered，nolawsooftenopenlyviolated，nolawhabituallyso

ill-supervised。Inthemajorityoftheshamefulcasesofdisease

anddeathfromdestitution，thatshockthePublicanddisgracethe

country，theillegalityisquiteequaltotheinhumanity——andknown

languagecouldsaynomoreoftheirlawlessness。

OnFridaytheNinthofJuneinthepresentyear，MrandMrs

Boffin(intheirmanuscriptdressofreceivingMrandMrsLammle

atbreakfast)wereontheSouthEasternRailwaywithme，ina

terriblydestructiveaccident。WhenIhaddonewhatIcouldtohelp

others，Iclimbedbackintomycarriage——nearlyturnedovera

viaduct，andcaughtaslantupontheturn——toextricatetheworthy

couple。Theyweremuchsoiled，butotherwiseunhurt。Thesame

happyresultattendedMissBellaWilferonherweddingday，and

MrRiderhoodinspectingBradleyHeadstone'sredneckerchiefas

helayasleep。IrememberwithdevoutthankfulnessthatIcan

neverbemuchnearerpartingcompanywithmyreadersforever，

thanIwasthen，untilthereshallbewrittenagainstmylife，thetwo

wordswithwhichIhavethisdayclosedthisbook:——THEEND。September2nd，1865。

End

BOOKTHEFIRSTTHECUPANDTHELIP

Chapter1

ONTHELOOKOUT

Inthesetimesofours，thoughconcerningtheexactyearthereisnoneedtobeprecise，aboatofdirtyanddisreputableappearance，withtwofiguresinit，floatedontheThames，betweenSouthwarkbridgewhichisofiron，andLondonBridgewhichisofstone，asanautumneveningwasclosingin。

Thefiguresinthisboatwerethoseofastrongmanwithraggedgrizzledhairandasun-brownedface，andadarkgirlofnineteenortwenty，sufficientlylikehimtoberecognizableashisdaughter。

Thegirlrowed，pullingapairofscullsveryeasily；theman，withtherudder-linesslackinhishands，andhishandslooseinhiswaistband，keptaneagerlookout。Hehadnonet，hook，orline，andhecouldnotbeafisherman；hisboathadnocushionforasitter，nopaint，noinscription，noappliancebeyondarustyboathookandacoilofrope，andhecouldnotbeawaterman；hisboatwastoocrazyandtoosmalltotakeincargofordelivery，andhecouldnotbealightermanorriver-carrier；therewasnocluetowhathelookedfor，buthelookedforsomething，withamostintentandsearchinggaze。Thetide，whichhadturnedanhourbefore，wasrunningdown，andhiseyeswatchedeverylittleraceandeddyinitsbroadsweep，astheboatmadeslighthead-wayagainstit，ordrovesternforemostbeforeit，accordingashedirectedhisdaughterbyamovementofhishead。Shewatchedhisfaceasearnestlyashewatchedtheriver。But，intheintensityofherlooktherewasatouchofdreadorhorror。

Alliedtothebottomoftheriverratherthanthesurface，byreasonoftheslimeandoozewithwhichitwascovered，anditssoddenstate，thisboatandthetwofiguresinitobviouslyweredoingsomethingthattheyoftendid，andwereseekingwhattheyoftensought。Halfsavageasthemanshowed，withnocoveringonhismattedhead，withhisbrownarmsbaretobetweentheelbowandtheshoulder，withthelooseknotofalooserkerchieflyinglowonhisbarebreastinawildernessofbeardandwhisker，withsuchdressasheworeseemingtobemadeoutofthemudthatbegrimedhisboat，stilltherewasabusiness-likeusageinhissteadygaze。

Sowitheverylitheactionofthegirl，witheveryturnofherwrist，perhapsmostofallwithherlookofdreadorhorror；theywerethingsofusage。

'Keepherout，Lizzie。Tiderunsstronghere。Keepherwellaforethesweepofit。'

Trustingtothegirl'sskillandmakingnouseoftherudder，heeyedthecomingtidewithanabsorbedattention。Sothegirleyedhim。

But，ithappenednow，thataslantoflightfromthesettingsunglancedintothebottomoftheboat，and，touchingarottenstaintherewhichboresomeresemblancetotheoutlineofamuffledhumanform，coloureditasthoughwithdilutedblood。Thiscaughtthegirl'seye，andsheshivered。

'Whatailsyou?'saidtheman，immediatelyawareofit，thoughsointentontheadvancingwaters；'Iseenothingafloat。'

Theredlightwasgone，theshudderwasgone，andhisgaze，whichhadcomebacktotheboatforamoment，travelledawayagain。

Wheresoeverthestrongtidemetwithanimpediment，hisgazepausedforaninstant。Ateverymooring-chainandrope，ateverystationeryboatorbargethatsplitthecurrentintoabroad-

arrowhead，attheoffsetsfromthepiersofSouthwarkBridge，atthepaddlesoftheriversteamboatsastheybeatthefilthywater，atthefloatinglogsoftimberlashedtogetherlyingoffcertainwharves，hisshiningeyesdartedahungrylook。Afteradarkeninghourorso，suddenlytherudder-linestightenedinhishold，andhesteeredhardtowardstheSurreyshore。

Alwayswatchinghisface，thegirlinstantlyansweredtotheactioninhersculling；presentlytheboatswunground，quiveredasfromasuddenjerk，andtheupperhalfofthemanwasstretchedoutoverthestern。

Thegirlpulledthehoodofacloakshewore，overherheadandoverherface，and，lookingbackwardsothatthefrontfoldsofthishoodwereturneddowntheriver，kepttheboatinthatdirectiongoingbeforethetide。Untilnow，theboathadbarelyheldherown，andhadhoveredaboutonespot；butnow，thebankschangedswiftly，andthedeepeningshadowsandthekindlinglightsofLondonBridgewerepassed，andthetiersofshippinglayoneitherhand。

Itwasnotuntilnowthattheupperhalfofthemancamebackintotheboat。Hisarmswerewetanddirty，andhewashedthemovertheside。Inhisrighthandheheldsomething，andhewashedthatintherivertoo。Itwasmoney。Hechinkeditonce，andheblewuponitonce，andhespatuponitonce，——'forluck，'hehoarselysaid——beforeheputitinhispocket。

'Lizzie！'

Thegirlturnedherfacetowardshimwithastart，androwedinsilence。Herfacewasverypale。Hewasahook-nosedman，andwiththatandhisbrighteyesandhisruffledhead，boreacertainlikenesstoarousedbirdofprey。

'Takethatthingoffyourface。'

Sheputitback。

'Here！andgivemeholdofthesculls。I'lltaketherestofthespell。'

'No，no，father！No！Ican'tindeed。Father！——Icannotsitsonearit！'

Hewasmovingtowardshertochangeplaces，butherterrifiedexpostulationstoppedhimandheresumedhisseat。

'Whathurtcanitdoyou?'

'None，none。ButIcannotbearit。'

'It'smybeliefyouhatethesightoftheveryriver。'

'I——Idonotlikeit，father。'

'Asifitwasn'tyourliving！Asifitwasn'tmeatanddrinktoyou！'

Attheselatterwordsthegirlshiveredagain，andforamomentpausedinherrowing，seemingtoturndeadlyfaint。Itescapedhisattention，forhewasglancingoverthesternatsomethingtheboathadintow。

'Howcanyoubesothanklesstoyourbestfriend，Lizzie?Theveryfirethatwarmedyouwhenyouwereababby，waspickedoutoftheriveralongsidethecoalbarges。Theverybasketthatyousleptin，thetidewashedashore。TheveryrockersthatIputitupontomakeacradleofit，Icutoutofapieceofwoodthatdriftedfromsomeshiporanother。'

Lizzietookherrighthandfromthescullitheld，andtouchedherlipswithit，andforamomenthelditoutlovinglytowardshim:

then，withoutspeaking，sheresumedherrowing，asanotherboatofsimilarappearance，thoughinratherbettertrim，cameoutfromadarkplaceanddroppedsoftlyalongside。

'Inluckagain，Gaffer?'saidamanwithasquintingleer，whosculledherandwhowasalone，'Iknow'dyouwasinluckagain，byyourwakeasyoucomedown。'

'Ah！'repliedtheother，drily。'Soyou'reout，areyou?'

'Yes，pardner。'

Therewasnowatenderyellowmoonlightontheriver，andthenewcomer，keepinghalfhisboat'slengthasternoftheotherboatlookedhardatitstrack。

'Isaystomyself，'hewenton，'directlyyouhoveinview，yonder'sGaffer，andinluckagain，byGeorgeifheain't！Scullitis，pardner——don'tfretyourself——Ididn'ttouchhim。'ThiswasinanswertoaquickimpatientmovementonthepartofGaffer:thespeakeratthesametimeunshippinghisscullonthatside，andlayinghishandonthegunwaleofGaffer'sboatandholdingtoit。

'He'shadtouchesenoughnottowantnomore，aswellasImakehimout，Gaffer！Beenaknockingaboutwithaprettymanytides，ain'thepardner?Suchismyout-of-luckways，yousee！Hemusthavepassedmewhenhewentuplasttime，forIwasonthelookoutbelowbridgehere。Ia'mostthinkyou'relikethewulturs，pardner，andscent'emout。'

Hespokeinadroppedvoice，andwithmorethanoneglanceatLizziewhohadpulledonherhoodagain。BothmenthenlookedwithaweirdunholyinterestinthewakeofGaffer'sboat。

'Easydoesit，betwixtus。ShallItakehimaboard，pardner?'

'No，'saidtheother。Insosurlyatonethattheman，afterablankstare，acknowledgeditwiththeretort:

'——Arn'tbeeneatingnothingashasdisagreedwithyou，haveyou，pardner?'

'Why，yes，Ihave，'saidGaffer。'Ihavebeenswallowingtoomuchofthatword，Pardner。Iamnopardnerofyours。'

'Sincewhenwasyounopardnerofmine，GafferHexamEsquire?'

'Sinceyouwasaccusedofrobbingaman。Accusedofrobbingaliveman！'saidGaffer，withgreatindignation。

'AndwhatifIhadbeenaccusedofrobbingadeadman，Gaffer?'

'YouCOULDN'Tdoit。'

'Couldn'tyou，Gaffer?'

'No。Hasadeadmananyuseformoney?Isitpossibleforadeadmantohavemoney?Whatworlddoesadeadmanbelongto?

'Totherworld。Whatworlddoesmoneybelongto?Thisworld。

Howcanmoneybeacorpse's?Canacorpseownit，wantit，spendit，claimit，missit?Don'ttrytogoconfoundingtherightsandwrongsofthingsinthatway。Butit'sworthyofthesneakingspiritthatrobsaliveman。'

'I'lltellyouwhatitis。'

'Noyouwon't。I'lltellyouwhatitis。Yougotoffwithashorttimeofitforputtingyou'rehandinthepocketofasailor，alivesailor。

Makethemostofitandthinkyourselflucky，butdon'tthinkafterthattocomeoverMEwithyourpardners。Wehaveworkedtogetherintimepast，butweworktogethernomoreintimepresentnoryetfuture。Letgo。Castoff！'

'Gaffer！Ifyouthinktogetridofmethisway。'

'IfIdon'tgetridofyouthisway，I'lltryanother，andchopyouoverthefingerswiththestretcher，ortakeapickatyourheadwiththeboat-hook。Castoff！Pullyou，Lizzie。Pullhome，sinceyouwon'tletyourfatherpull。'

Lizzieshotahead，andtheotherboatfellastern。Lizzie'sfather，composinghimselfintotheeasyattitudeofonewhohadassertedthehighmoralitiesandtakenanunassailableposition，slowlylightedapipe，andsmoked，andtookasurveyofwhathehadintow。Whathehadintow，lungeditselfathimsometimesinanawfulmannerwhentheboatwaschecked，andsometimesseemedtotrytowrenchitselfaway，thoughforthemostpartitfollowedsubmissively。Aneophytemighthavefanciedthattheripplespassingoveritweredreadfullylikefaintchangesofexpressiononasightlessface；butGafferwasnoneophyteandhadnofancies。

Chapter2

THEMANFROMSOMEWHERE

MrandMrsVeneeringwerebran-newpeopleinabran-newhouseinabran-newquarterofLondon。EverythingabouttheVeneeringswasspickandspannew。Alltheirfurniturewasnew，alltheirfriendswerenew，alltheirservantswerenew，theirplatewasnew，theircarriagewasnew，theirharnesswasnew，theirhorseswerenew，theirpictureswerenew，theythemselveswerenew，theywereasnewlymarriedaswaslawfullycompatiblewiththeirhavingabran-newbaby，andiftheyhadsetupagreat-grandfather，hewouldhavecomehomeinmattingfromthePantechnicon，withoutascratchuponhim，Frenchpolishedtothecrownofhishead。

For，intheVeneeringestablishment，fromthehall-chairswiththenewcoatofarms，tothegrandpianofortewiththenewaction，andupstairsagaintothenewfire-escape，allthingswereinastateofhighvarnishandpolish。Andwhatwasobservableinthefurniture，wasobservableintheVeneerings——thesurfacesmeltalittletoomuchoftheworkshopandwasatriflesticky。

Therewasaninnocentpieceofdinner-furniturethatwentuponeasycastorsandwaskeptoveraliverystable-yardinDukeStreet，SaintJames's，whennotinuse，towhomtheVeneeringswereasourceofblindconfusion。ThenameofthisarticlewasTwemlow。

BeingfirstcousintoLordSnigsworth，hewasinfrequentrequisition，andatmanyhousesmightbesaidtorepresentthedining-tableinitsnormalstate。MrandMrsVeneering，forexample，arrangingadinner，habituallystartedwithTwemlow，andthenputleavesinhim，oraddedgueststohim。Sometimes，thetableconsistedofTwemlowandhalfadozenleaves；

sometimes，ofTwemlowandadozenleaves；sometimes，Twemlowwaspulledouttohisutmostextentoftwentyleaves。MrandMrsVeneeringonoccasionsofceremonyfacedeachotherinthecentreoftheboard，andthustheparallelstillheld；for，italwayshappenedthatthemoreTwemlowwaspulledout，thefurtherhefoundhimselffromthecenter，andnearertothesideboardatoneendoftheroom，orthewindow-curtainsattheother。

But，itwasnotthiswhichsteepedthefeeblesoulofTwemlowinconfusion。Thishewasusedto，andcouldtakesoundingsof。Theabysstowhichhecouldfindnobottom，andfromwhichstartedforththeengrossingandever-swellingdifficultyofhislife，wastheinsolublequestionwhetherhewasVeneering'soldestfriend，ornewestfriend。Totheexcogitationofthisproblem，theharmlessgentlemanhaddevotedmanyanxioushours，bothinhislodgingsovertheliverystable-yard，andinthecoldgloom，favourabletomeditation，ofSaintJames'sSquare。Thus。TwemlowhadfirstknownVeneeringathisclub，whereVeneeringthenknewnobodybutthemanwhomadethemknowntooneanother，whoseemedtobethemostintimatefriendhehadintheworld，andwhomhehadknowntwodays——thebondofunionbetweentheirsouls，thenefariousconductofthecommitteerespectingthecookeryofafilletofveal，havingbeenaccidentallycementedatthatdate。

Immediatelyuponthis，TwemlowreceivedaninvitationtodinewithVeneering，anddined:themanbeingoftheparty。

Immediatelyuponthat，Twemlowreceivedaninvitationtodinewiththeman，anddined:Veneeringbeingoftheparty。Attheman'swereaMember，anEngineer，aPayer-offoftheNationalDebt，aPoemonShakespeare，aGrievance，andaPublicOffice，whoallseemtobeutterstrangerstoVeneering。Andyetimmediatelyafterthat，TwemlowreceivedaninvitationtodineatVeneerings，expresslytomeettheMember，theEngineer，thePayer-offoftheNationalDebt，thePoemonShakespeare，theGrievance，andthePublicOffice，and，dining，discoveredthatallofthemwerethemostintimatefriendsVeneeringhadintheworld，andthatthewivesofallofthem(whowereallthere)weretheobjectsofMrsVeneering'smostdevotedaffectionandtenderconfidence。

Thusithadcomeabout，thatMrTwemlowhadsaidtohimselfinhislodgings，withhishandtohisforehead:'Imustnotthinkofthis。Thisisenoughtosoftenanyman'sbrain，'——andyetwasalwaysthinkingofit，andcouldneverformaconclusion。

ThiseveningtheVeneeringsgiveabanquet。ElevenleavesintheTwemlow；fourteenincompanyalltold。Fourpigeon-breastedretainersinplainclothesstandinlineinthehall。Afifthretainer，proceedingupthestaircasewithamournfulair——aswhoshouldsay，'Hereisanotherwretchedcreaturecometodinner；suchislife！'——announces，'Mis-terTwemlow！'

MrsVeneeringwelcomeshersweetMrTwemlow。MrVeneeringwelcomeshisdearTwemlow。MrsVeneeringdoesnotexpectthatMrTwemlowcaninnaturecaremuchforsuchinsipidthingsasbabies，butsooldafriendmustpleasetolookatbaby。'Ah！Youwillknowthefriendofyourfamilybetter，Tootleums，'saysMrVeneering，noddingemotionallyatthatnewarticle，'whenyoubegintotakenotice。'HethenbegstomakehisdearTwemlowknowntohistwofriends，MrBootsandMrBrewer——andclearlyhasnodistinctideawhichiswhich。

Butnowafearfulcircumstanceoccurs。

'Mis-terandMis-susPodsnap！'

'Mydear，'saysMrVeneeringtoMrsVeneering，withanairofmuchfriendlyinterest，whilethedoorstandsopen，'thePodsnaps。'

Atoo，toosmilinglargeman，withafatalfreshnessonhim，appearingwithhiswife，instantlydesertshiswifeanddartsatTwemlowwith:

'Howdoyoudo?Sogladtoknowyou。Charminghouseyouhavehere。Ihopewearenotlate。Sogladoftheopportunity，Iamsure！'

Whenthefirstshockfelluponhim，Twemlowtwiceskippedbackinhisneatlittleshoesandhisneatlittlesilkstockingsofabygonefashion，asifimpelledtoleapoverasofabehindhim；butthelargemanclosedwithhimandprovedtoostrong。

'Letme，'saysthelargeman，tryingtoattracttheattentionofhiswifeinthedistance，'havethepleasureofpresentingMrsPodsnaptoherhost。Shewillbe，'inhisfatalfreshnessheseemstofindperpetualverdureandeternalyouthinthephrase，'shewillbesogladoftheopportunity，Iamsure！'

Inthemeantime，MrsPodsnap，unabletooriginateamistakeonherownaccount，becauseMrsVeneeringistheonlyotherladythere，doesherbestinthewayofhandsomelysupportingherhusband's，bylookingtowardsMrTwemlowwithaplaintivecountenanceandremarkingtoMrsVeneeringinafeelingmanner，firstly，thatshefearshehasbeenratherbiliousoflate，and，secondly，thatthebabyisalreadyverylikehim。

Itisquestionablewhetheranymanquiterelishesbeingmistakenforanyotherman；but，MrVeneeringhavingthisveryeveningsetuptheshirt-frontoftheyoungAntinousinnewworkedcambricjustcomehome，isnotatallcomplimentedbybeingsupposedtobeTwemlow，whoisdryandweazenandsomethirtyyearsolder。

MrsVeneeringequallyresentstheimputationofbeingthewifeofTwemlow。AstoTwemlow，heissosensibleofbeingamuchbetterbredmanthanVeneering，thatheconsidersthelargemananoffensiveass。

Inthiscomplicateddilemma，MrVeneeringapproachesthelargemanwithextendedhandand，smilinglyassuresthatincorrigiblepersonagethatheisdelightedtoseehim:whoinhisfatalfreshnessinstantlyreplies:

'Thankyou。IamashamedtosaythatIcannotatthismomentrecallwherewemet，butIamsogladofthisopportunity，Iamsure！'

ThenpouncinguponTwemlow，whoholdsbackwithallhisfeeblemight，heishalinghimofftopresenthim，asVeneering，toMrsPodsnap，whenthearrivalofmoreguestsunravelsthemistake。

Whereupon，havingre-shakenhandswithVeneeringasVeneering，here-shakeshandswithTwemlowasTwemlow，andwindsitalluptohisownperfectsatisfactionbysayingtothelast-named，'Ridiculousopportunity——butsogladofit，Iamsure！'

Now，Twemlowhavingundergonethisterrificexperience，havinglikewisenotedthefusionofBootsinBrewerandBrewerinBoots，andhavingfurtherobservedthatoftheremainingsevenguestsfourdiscretecharactersenterwithwanderingeyesandwhollydeclinedtocommitthemselvesastowhichisVeneering，untilVeneeringhastheminhisgrasp；——Twemlowhavingprofitedbythesestudies，findshisbrainwholesomelyhardeningasheapproachestheconclusionthathereallyisVeneering'soldestfriend，whenhisbrainsoftensagainandallislost，throughhiseyesencounteringVeneeringandthelargemanlinkedtogetherastwinbrothersinthebackdrawing-roomneartheconservatorydoor，andthroughhisearsinforminghiminthetonesofMrsVeneeringthatthesamelargemanistobebaby'sgodfather。

'Dinnerisonthetable！'

Thusthemelancholyretainer，aswhoshouldsay，'Comedownandbepoisoned，yeunhappychildrenofmen！'

Twemlow，havingnoladyassignedhim，goesdownintherear，withhishandtohisforehead。BootsandBrewer，thinkinghimindisposed，whisper，'Manfaint。Hadnolunch。'Butheisonlystunnedbytheunvanquishabledifficultyofhisexistence。

Revivedbysoup，TwemlowdiscoursesmildlyoftheCourtCircularwithBootsandBrewer。Isappealedto，atthefishstageofthebanquet，byVeneering，onthedisputedquestionwhetherhiscousinLordSnigsworthisinoroutoftown?Givesitthathiscousinisoutoftown。'AtSnigsworthyPark?'Veneeringinquires。

'AtSnigsworthy，'Twemlowrejoins。BootsandBrewerregardthisasamantobecultivated；andVeneeringisclearthatheisarenumerativearticle。Meantimetheretainergoesround，likeagloomyAnalyticalChemist:alwaysseemingtosay，after'Chablis，sir?'——'Youwouldn'tifyouknewwhatit'smadeof。'

Thegreatlooking-glassabovethesideboard，reflectsthetableandthecompany。ReflectsthenewVeneeringcrest，ingoldandekeinsilver，frostedandalsothawed，acamelofallwork。TheHeralds'

CollegefoundoutaCrusadingancestorforVeneeringwhoboreacamelonhisshield(ormighthavedoneitifhehadthoughtofit)，andacaravanofcamelstakechargeofthefruitsandflowersandcandles，andkneeldownbeloadedwiththesalt。ReflectsVeneering；forty，wavy-haired，dark，tendingtocorpulence，sly，mysterious，filmy——akindofsufficientlywell-lookingveiled-

prophet，notprophesying。ReflectsMrsVeneering；fair，aquiline-

nosedandfingered，notsomuchlighthairasshemighthave，gorgeousinraimentandjewels，enthusiastic，propitiatory，consciousthatacornerofherhusband'sveilisoverherself。

ReflectsPodsnap；prosperouslyfeeding，twolittlelight-colouredwirywings，oneoneithersideofhiselsebaldhead，lookingaslikehishairbrushesashishair，dissolvingviewofredbeadsonhisforehead，largeallowanceofcrumpledshirt-collarupbehind。

ReflectsMrsPodsnap；finewomanforProfessorOwen，quantityofbone，neckandnostrilslikearocking-horse，hardfeatures，majestichead-dressinwhichPodsnaphashunggoldenofferings。

ReflectsTwemlow；grey，dry，polite，susceptibletoeastwind，First-Gentleman-in-Europecollarandcravat，cheeksdrawninasifhehadmadeagreatefforttoretireintohimselfsomeyearsago，andhadgotsofarandhadnevergotanyfarther。Reflectsmatureyounglady；ravenlocks，andcomplexionthatlightsupwellwhenwellpowdered——asitis——carryingonconsiderablyinthecaptivationofmatureyounggentleman；withtoomuchnoseinhisface，toomuchgingerinhiswhiskers，toomuchtorsoinhiswaistcoat，toomuchsparkleinhisstuds，hiseyes，hisbuttons，histalk，andhisteeth。ReflectscharmingoldLadyTippinsonVeneering'sright；

withanimmenseobtusedraboblongface，likeafaceinatablespoon，andadyedLongWalkupthetopofherhead，asaconvenientpublicapproachtothebunchoffalsehairbehind，pleasedtopatronizeMrsVeneeringopposite，whoispleasedtobepatronized。Reflectsacertain'Mortimer'，anotherofVeneering'soldestfriends；whoneverwasinthehousebefore，andappearsnottowanttocomeagain，whositsdisconsolateonMrsVeneering'sleft，andwhowasinveigledbyLadyTippins(afriendofhisboyhood)tocometothesepeople'sandtalk，andwhowon'ttalk。

ReflectsEugene，friendofMortimer；buriedaliveinthebackofhischair，behindashoulder——withapowder-epauletteonit——ofthematureyounglady，andgloomilyresortingtothechampagnechalicewheneverprofferedbytheAnalyticalChemist。Lastly，thelooking-glassreflectsBootsandBrewer，andtwootherstuffedBuffersinterposedbetweentherestofthecompanyandpossibleaccidents。

TheVeneeringdinnersareexcellentdinners——ornewpeoplewouldn'tcome——andallgoeswell。Notably，LadyTippinshasmadeaseriesofexperimentsonherdigestivefunctions，soextremelycomplicatedanddaring，thatiftheycouldbepublishedwiththeirresultsitmightbenefitthehumanrace。Havingtakeninprovisionsfromallpartsoftheworld，thishardyoldcruiserhaslasttouchedattheNorthPole，when，astheice-platesarebeingremoved，thefollowingwordsfallfromher:

'Iassureyou，mydearVeneering——'

(PoorTwemlow'shandapproacheshisforehead，foritwouldseemnow，thatLadyTippinsisgoingtobetheoldestfriend。)

'Iassureyou，mydearVeneering，thatitistheoddestaffair！Liketheadvertisingpeople，Idon'taskyoutotrustme，withoutofferingarespectablereference。Mortimerthere，ismyreference，andknowsallaboutit。'

Mortimerraiseshisdroopingeyelids，andslightlyopenshismouth。Butafaintsmile，expressiveof'What'stheuse！'passesoverhisface，andhedropshiseyelidsandshutshismouth。

'Now，Mortimer，'saysLadyTippins，rappingthesticksofherclosedgreenfanupontheknucklesofherlefthand——whichisparticularlyrichinknuckles，'IinsistuponyourtellingallthatistobetoldaboutthemanfromJamaica。'

'GiveyoumyhonourIneverheardofanymanfromJamaica，exceptthemanwhowasabrother，'repliesMortimer。

'Tobago，then。'

'NoryetfromTobago。'

'Except，'Eugenestrikesin:sounexpectedlythatthematureyounglady，whohasforgottenallabouthim，withastarttakestheepauletteoutofhisway:'exceptourfriendwholonglivedonrice-

puddingandisinglass，tillatlengthtohissomethingorother，hisphysiciansaidsomethingelse，andalegofmuttonsomehowendedindaygo。'

ArevivingimpressiongoesroundthetablethatEugeneiscomingout。Anunfulfilledimpression，forhegoesinagain。

'Now，mydearMrsVeneering，'quothLadyTippins，Iappealtoyouwhetherthisisnotthebasestconducteverknowninthisworld?Icarrymyloversabout，twoorthreeatatime，onconditionthattheyareveryobedientanddevoted；andhereismyoldestlover-in-chief，theheadofallmyslaves，throwingoffhisallegiancebeforecompany！Andhereisanotherofmylovers，aroughCymonatpresentcertainly，butofwhomIhadmosthopefulexpectationsastohisturningoutwellincourseoftime，pretendingthathecan'trememberhisnurseryrhymes！Onpurposetoannoyme，forheknowshowIdoatuponthem！'

AgrislylittlefictionconcerningherloversisLadyTippins'spoint。

Sheisalwaysattendedbyaloverortwo，andshekeepsalittlelistofherlovers，andsheisalwaysbookinganewlover，orstrikingoutanoldlover，orputtingaloverinherblacklist，orpromotingalovertoherbluelist，oraddingupherlovers，orotherwisepostingherbook。MrsVeneeringischarmedbythehumour，andsoisVeneering。PerhapsitisenhancedbyacertainyellowplayinLadyTippins'sthroat，likethelegsofscratchingpoultry。

'Ibanishthefalsewretchfromthismoment，andIstrikehimoutofmyCupidon(mynameformyLedger，mydear，)thisverynight。

ButIamresolvedtohavetheaccountofthemanfromSomewhere，andIbegyoutoelicititforme，mylove，'toMrsVeneering，'asI

havelostmyowninfluence。Oh，youperjuredman！'ThistoMortimer，witharattleofherfan。

'WeareallverymuchinterestedinthemanfromSomewhere，'

Veneeringobserves。

ThenthefourBuffers，takingheartofgraceallfouratonce，say:

'Deeplyinterested！'

'Quiteexcited！'

'Dramatic！'

'ManfromNowhere，perhaps！'

AndthenMrsVeneering——fortheLadyTippins'swinningwilesarecontagious——foldsherhandsinthemannerofasupplicatingchild，turnstoherleftneighbour，andsays，'Tease！Pay！ManfromTumwhere！'AtwhichthefourBuffers，againmysteriouslymovedallfouratonce，explain，'Youcan'tresist！'

'Uponmylife，'saysMortimerlanguidly，'IfinditimmenselyembarrassingtohavetheeyesofEuropeuponmetothisextent，andmyonlyconsolationisthatyouwillallofyouexecrateLadyTippinsinyoursecretheartswhenyoufind，asyouinevitablywill，themanfromSomewhereabore。Sorrytodestroyromancebyfixinghimwithalocalhabitation，buthecomesfromtheplace，thenameofwhichescapesme，butwillsuggestitselftoeverybodyelsehere，wheretheymakethewine。'

Eugenesuggests'DayandMartin's。'

'No，notthatplace，'returnstheunmovedMortimer，'that'swheretheymakethePort。MymancomesfromthecountrywheretheymaketheCapeWine。Butlookhere，oldfellow；itsnotatallstatisticalandit'sratherodd。'

ItisalwaysnoticeableatthetableoftheVeneerings，thatnomantroubleshimselfmuchabouttheVeneeringsthemselves，andthatanyonewhohasanythingtotell，generallytellsittoanybodyelseinpreference。

'Theman，'Mortimergoeson，addressingEugene，'whosenameisHarmon，wasonlysonofatremendousoldrascalwhomadehismoneybyDust。'

'Redvelveteensandabell?'thegloomyEugeneinquires。

'Andaladderandbasketifyoulike。Bywhichmeans，orbyothers，hegrewrichasaDustContractor，andlivedinahollowinahillycountryentirelycomposedofDust。Onhisownsmallestatethegrowlingoldvagabondthrewuphisownmountainrange，likeanoldvolcano，anditsgeologicalformationwasDust。Coal-dust，vegetable-dust，bone-dust，crockerydust，roughdustandsifteddust，——allmannerofDust。'

ApassingremembranceofMrsVeneering，hereinducesMortimertoaddresshisnexthalf-dozenwordstoher；afterwhichhewandersawayagain，triesTwemlowandfindshedoesn'tanswer，ultimatelytakesupwiththeBufferswhoreceivehimenthusiastically。

'Themoralbeing——Ibelievethat'stherightexpression——ofthisexemplaryperson，deriveditshighestgratificationfromanathematizinghisnearestrelationsandturningthemoutofdoors。

Havingbegun(aswasnatural)byrenderingtheseattentionstothewifeofhisbosom，henextfoundhimselfatleisuretobestowasimilarrecognitionontheclaimsofhisdaughter。Hechoseahusbandforher，entirelytohisownsatisfactionandnotintheleasttohers，andproceededtosettleuponher，ashermarriageportion，I

don'tknowhowmuchDust，butsomethingimmense。AtthisstageoftheaffairthepoorgirlrespectfullyintimatedthatshewassecretlyengagedtothatpopularcharacterwhomthenovelistsandversifierscallAnother，andthatsuchamarriagewouldmakeDustofherheartandDustofherlife——inshort，wouldsetherup，onaveryextensivescale，inherfather'sbusiness。Immediately，thevenerableparent——onacoldwinter'snight，itissaid——

anathematizedandturnedherout。'

Here，theAnalyticalChemist(whohasevidentlyformedaverylowopinionofMortimer'sstory)concedesalittleclarettotheBuffers；

who，againmysteriouslymovedallfouratonce，screwitslowlyintothemselveswithapeculiartwistofenjoyment，astheycryinchorus，'Praygoon。'

'ThepecuniaryresourcesofAnotherwere，astheyusuallyare，ofaverylimitednature。IbelieveIamnotusingtoostronganexpressionwhenIsaythatAnotherwashardup。However，hemarriedtheyounglady，andtheylivedinahumbledwelling，probablypossessingaporchornamentedwithhoneysuckleandwoodbinetwining，untilshedied。ImustreferyoutotheRegistraroftheDistrictinwhichthehumbledwellingwassituated，forthecertifiedcauseofdeath；butearlysorrowandanxietymayhavehadtodowithit，thoughtheymaynotappearintheruledpagesandprintedforms。IndisputablythiswasthecasewithAnother，forhewassocutupbythelossofhisyoungwifethatifheoutlivedherayearitwasasmuchashedid。'

ThereisthatintheindolentMortimer，whichseemstohintthatifgoodsocietymightonanyaccountallowitselftobeimpressible，he，oneofgoodsociety，mighthavetheweaknesstobeimpressedbywhathehererelates。Itishiddenwithgreatpains，butitisinhim。ThegloomyEugenetoo，isnotwithoutsomekindredtouch；

for，whenthatappallingLadyTippinsdeclaresthatifAnotherhadsurvived，heshouldhavegonedownattheheadofherlistoflovers——andalsowhenthematureyoungladyshrugsherepaulettes，andlaughsatsomeprivateandconfidentialcommentfromthematureyounggentleman——hisgloomdeepenstothatdegreethathetriflesquiteferociouslywithhisdessert-knife。

Mortimerproceeds。

'Wemustnowreturn，asnovelistssay，andasweallwishtheywouldn't，tothemanfromSomewhere。Beingaboyoffourteen，cheaplyeducatedatBrusselswhenhissister'sexpulsionbefell，itwassomelittletimebeforeheheardofit——probablyfromherself，forthemotherwasdead；butthatIdon'tknow。Instantly，heabsconded，andcameoverhere。Hemusthavebeenaboyofspiritandresource，togethereonastoppedallowanceoffivesousaweek；buthediditsomehow，andheburstinonhisfather，andpleadedhissister'scause。Venerableparentpromptlyresortstoanathematization，andturnshimout。Shockedandterrifiedboytakesflight，seekshisfortune，getsaboardship，ultimatelyturnsupondrylandamongtheCapewine:smallproprietor，farmer，grower——whateveryouliketocallit。'

Atthisjuncture，shufflingisheardinthehall，andtappingisheardatthedining-roomdoor。AnalyticalChemistgoestothedoor，confersangrilywithunseentapper，appearstobecomemollifiedbydescryingreasoninthetapping，andgoesout。

'Sohewasdiscovered，onlytheotherday，afterhavingbeenexpatriatedaboutfourteenyears。'

ABuffer，suddenlyastoundingtheotherthree，bydetachinghimself，andassertingindividuality，inquires:'Howdiscovered，andwhy?'

'Ah！Tobesure。Thankyouforremindingme。Venerableparentdies。'

SameBuffer，emboldenedbysuccess，says:'When?'

'Theotherday。Tenortwelvemonthsago。'

SameBufferinquireswithsmartness，'Whatof?'Buthereinperishesamelancholyexample；beingregardedbythethreeotherBufferswithastonystare，andattractingnofurtherattentionfromanymortal。

'Venerableparent，'MortimerrepeatswithapassingremembrancethatthereisaVeneeringattable，andforthefirsttimeaddressinghim——'dies。'

ThegratifiedVeneeringrepeats，gravely，'dies'；andfoldshisarms，andcomposeshisbrowtohearitoutinajudicialmanner，whenhefindshimselfagaindesertedinthebleakworld。

'Hiswillisfound，'saidMortimer，catchingMrsPodsnap'srocking-

horse'seye。'Itisdatedverysoonaftertheson'sflight。Itleavesthelowestoftherangeofdust-mountains，withsomesortofadwelling-houseatitsfoot，toanoldservantwhoissoleexecutor，andalltherestoftheproperty——whichisveryconsiderable——totheson。Hedirectshimselftobeburiedwithcertaineccentricceremoniesandprecautionsagainsthiscomingtolife，withwhichIneednotboreyou，andthat'sall——except——'andthisendsthestory。

TheAnalyticalChemistreturning，everybodylooksathim。Notbecauseanybodywantstoseehim，butbecauseofthatsubtleinfluenceinnaturewhichimpelshumanitytoembracetheslightestopportunityoflookingatanything，ratherthanthepersonwhoaddressesit。

'——Exceptthattheson'sinheritingismadeconditionalonhismarryingagirl，whoatthedateofthewill，wasachildoffourorfiveyearsold，andwhoisnowamarriageableyoungwoman。

AdvertisementandinquirydiscoveredthesoninthemanfromSomewhere，andatthepresentmoment，heisonhiswayhomefromthere——nodoubt，inastateofgreatastonishment——tosucceedtoaverylargefortune，andtotakeawife。'

MrsPodsnapinquireswhethertheyoungpersonisayoungpersonofpersonalcharms?Mortimerisunabletoreport。

MrPodsnapinquireswhatwouldbecomeoftheverylargefortune，intheeventofthemarriageconditionnotbeingfulfilled?

Mortimerreplies，thatbyspecialtestamentaryclauseitwouldthengototheoldservantabovementioned，passingoverandexcludingtheson；also，thatifthesonhadnotbeenliving，thesameoldservantwouldhavebeensoleresiduarylegatee。

MrsVeneeringhasjustsucceededinwakingLadyTippinsfromasnore，bydexterouslyshuntingatrainofplatesanddishesatherknucklesacrossthetable；wheneverybodybutMortimerhimselfbecomesawarethattheAnalyticalChemistis，inaghostlymanner，offeringhimafoldedpaper。CuriositydetainsMrsVeneeringafewmoments。

Mortimer，inspiteofalltheartsofthechemist，placidlyrefresheshimselfwithaglassofMadeira，andremainsunconsciousoftheDocumentwhichengrossesthegeneralattention，untilLadyTippins(whohasahabitofwakingtotallyinsensible)，havingrememberedwheresheis，andrecoveredaperceptionofsurroundingobjects，says:'FalsermanthanDonJuan；whydon'tyoutakethenotefromthecommendatore?'Uponwhich，thechemistadvancesitunderthenoseofMortimer，wholooksroundathim，andsays:

'What'sthis?'

AnalyticalChemistbendsandwhispers。

'WHO?'SaysMortimer。

AnalyticalChemistagainbendsandwhispers。

Mortimerstaresathim，andunfoldsthepaper。Readsit，readsittwice，turnsitovertolookattheblankoutside，readsitathirdtime。

'Thisarrivesinanextraordinarilyopportunemanner，'saysMortimerthen，lookingwithanalteredfaceroundthetable:'thisistheconclusionofthestoryoftheidenticalman。'

'Alreadymarried?'oneguesses。

'Declinestomarry?'anotherguesses。

'Codicilamongthedust?'anotherguesses。

'Why，no，'saysMortimer；'remarkablething，youareallwrong。

ThestoryiscompleterandrathermoreexcitingthanIsupposed。

Man'sdrowned！'

Chapter3

ANOTHERMAN

AsthedisappearingskirtsoftheladiesascendedtheVeneeringstaircase，Mortimer，followingthemforthfromthedining-room，turnedintoalibraryofbran-newbooks，inbran-newbindingsliberallygilded，andrequestedtoseethemessengerwhohadbroughtthepaper。Hewasaboyofaboutfifteen。Mortimerlookedattheboy，andtheboylookedatthebran-newpilgrimsonthewall，goingtoCanterburyinmoregoldframethanprocession，andmorecarvingthancountry。

'Whosewritingisthis?'

'Mine，sir。'

'Whotoldyoutowriteit?'

'Myfather，JesseHexam。'

'Isithewhofoundthebody?'

'Yes，sir。'

'Whatisyourfather?'

Theboyhesitated，lookedreproachfullyatthepilgrimsasiftheyhadinvolvedhiminalittledifficulty，thensaid，foldingaplaitintherightlegofhistrousers，'Hegetshislivingalong-shore。'

'Isitfar?'

'Iswhichfar?'askedtheboy，uponhisguard，andagainupontheroadtoCanterbury。

'Toyourfather's?'

'It'sagoodishstretch，sir。Icomeupinacab，andthecab'swaitingtobepaid。Wecouldgobackinitbeforeyoupaidit，ifyouliked。Iwentfirsttoyouroffice，accordingtothedirectionofthepapersfoundinthepockets，andthereIseenobodybutachapofaboutmyagewhosentmeonhere。'

Therewasacuriousmixtureintheboy，ofuncompletedsavagery，anduncompletedcivilization。Hisvoicewashoarseandcoarse，andhisfacewascoarse，andhisstuntedfigurewascoarse；buthewascleanerthanotherboysofhistype；andhiswriting，thoughlargeandround，wasgood；andheglancedatthebacksofthebooks，withanawakenedcuriositythatwentbelowthebinding。

Noonewhocanread，everlooksatabook，evenunopenedonashelf，likeonewhocannot。

'Wereanymeanstaken，doyouknow，boy，toascertainifitwaspossibletorestorelife?'Mortimerinquired，ashesoughtforhishat。

'Youwouldn'task，sir，ifyouknewhisstate。Pharaoh'smultitudethatweredrownedintheRedSea，ain'tmorebeyondrestoringtolife。IfLazaruswasonlyhalfasfargone，thatwasthegreatestofallthemiracles。'

'Halloa！'criedMortimer，turningroundwithhishatuponhishead，'youseemtobeathomeintheRedSea，myyoungfriend?'

'Readofitwithteacherattheschool，'saidtheboy。

'AndLazarus?'

'Yes，andhimtoo。Butdon'tyoutellmyfather！Weshouldhavenopeaceinourplace，ifthatgottouchedupon。It'smysister'scontriving。'

'Youseemtohaveagoodsister。'

'Sheain'thalfbad，'saidtheboy；'butifsheknowsherlettersit'sthemostshedoes——andthemIlearnedher。'

ThegloomyEugene，withhishandsinhispockets，hadstrolledinandassistedatthelatterpartofthedialogue；whentheboyspokethesewordsslightinglyofhissister，hetookhimroughlyenoughbythechin，andturneduphisfacetolookatit。

'Well，I'msure，sir！'saidtheboy，resisting；'Ihopeyou'llknowmeagain。'

Eugenevouchsafednoanswer；butmadetheproposaltoMortimer，'I'llgowithyou，ifyoulike?'So，theyallthreewentawaytogetherinthevehiclethathadbroughttheboy；thetwofriends(onceboystogetheratapublicschool)inside，smokingcigars；themessengerontheboxbesidethedriver。

'Letmesee，'saidMortimer，astheywentalong；'Ihavebeen，Eugene，uponthehonourablerollofsolicitorsoftheHighCourtofChancery，andattorneysatCommonLaw，fiveyears；and——exceptgratuitouslytakinginstructions，onanaverageonceafortnight，forthewillofLadyTippinswhohasnothingtoleave——Ihavehadnoscrapofbusinessbutthisromanticbusiness。'

'AndI，'saidEugene，'havebeen“called“sevenyears，andhavehadnobusinessatall，andnevershallhaveany。AndifIhad，I

shouldn'tknowhowtodoit。'

'Iamfarfrombeingclearastothelastparticular，'returnedMortimer，withgreatcomposure，'thatIhavemuchadvantageoveryou。'

'Ihate，'saidEugene，puttinghislegsupontheoppositeseat，'I

hatemyprofession。'

'ShallIincommodeyou，ifIputmineuptoo?'returnedMortimer。

'Thankyou。Ihatemine。'

'Itwasforceduponme，'saidthegloomyEugene，'becauseitwasunderstoodthatwewantedabarristerinthefamily。Wehavegotapreciousone。'

'Itwasforceduponme，'saidMortimer，'becauseitwasunderstoodthatwewantedasolicitorinthefamily。Andwehavegotapreciousone。'

'Therearefourofus，withournamespaintedonadoor-postinrightofoneblackholecalledasetofchambers，'saidEugene；'andeachofushasthefourthofaclerk——CassimBaba，intherobber'scave——andCassimistheonlyrespectablememberoftheparty。'

'Iamonebymyself，one，'saidMortimer，'highupanawfulstaircasecommandingaburial-ground，andIhaveawholeclerktomyself，andhehasnothingtodobutlookattheburial-ground，andwhathewillturnoutwhenarrivedatmaturity，Icannotconceive。

Whether，inthatshabbyrook'snest，heisalwaysplottingwisdom，orplottingmurder；whetherhewillgrowup，aftersomuchsolitarybrooding，toenlightenhisfellow-creatures，ortopoisonthem；istheonlyspeckofinterestthatpresentsitselftomyprofessionalview。Willyougivemealight?Thankyou。'

'Thenidiotstalk，'saidEugene，leaningback，foldinghisarms，smokingwithhiseyesshut，andspeakingslightlythroughhisnose，'ofEnergy。IfthereisawordinthedictionaryunderanyletterfromAtoZthatIabominate，itisenergy。Itissuchaconventionalsuperstition，suchparrotgabble！Whatthedeuce！

AmItorushoutintothestreet，collarthefirstmanofawealthyappearancethatImeet，shakehim，andsay，“Gotolawuponthespot，youdog，andretainme，orI'llbethedeathofyou“?Yetthatwouldbeenergy。'

'Preciselymyviewofthecase，Eugene。Butshowmeagoodopportunity，showmesomethingreallyworthbeingenergeticabout，andI'llshowyouenergy。'

'AndsowillI，'saidEugene。

Anditislikelyenoughthattenthousandotheryoungmen，withinthelimitsoftheLondonPost-officetowndelivery，madethesamehopefulremarkinthecourseofthesameevening。

Thewheelsrolledon，androlleddownbytheMonumentandbytheTower，andbytheDocks；downbyRatcliffe，andbyRotherhithe；downbywhereaccumulatedscumofhumanityseemedtobewashedfromhighergrounds，likesomuchmoralsewage，andtobepausinguntilitsownweightforceditoverthebankandsunkitintheriver。Inandoutamongvesselsthatseemedtohavegotashore，andhousesthatseemedtohavegotafloat——amongbow-splitsstaringintowindows，andwindowsstaringintoships——thewheelsrolledon，untiltheystoppedatadarkcorner，river-washedandotherwisenotwashedatall，wheretheboyalightedandopenedthedoor。

'Youmustwalktherest，sir；it'snotmanyyards。'Hespokeinthesingularnumber，totheexpressexclusionofEugene。

'Thisisaconfoundedlyout-of-the-wayplace，'saidMortimer，slippingoverthestonesandrefuseontheshore，astheboyturnedthecornersharp。

'Here'smyfather's，sir；wherethelightis。'

Thelowbuildinghadthelookofhavingoncebeenamill。Therewasarottenwartofwooduponitsforeheadthatseemedtoindicatewherethesailshadbeen，butthewholewasveryindistinctlyseenintheobscurityofthenight。Theboyliftedthelatchofthedoor，andtheypassedatonceintoalowcircularroom，whereamanstoodbeforearedfire，lookingdownintoit，andagirlsatengagedinneedlework。Thefirewasinarustybrazier，notfittedtothehearth；andacommonlamp，shapedlikeahyacinth-

root，smokedandflaredintheneckofastonebottleonthetable。

Therewasawoodenbunkorberthinacorner，andinanothercornerawoodenstairleadingabove——soclumsyandsteepthatitwaslittlebetterthanaladder。Twoorthreeoldscullsandoarsstoodagainstthewall，andagainstanotherpartofthewallwasasmalldresser，makingaspareshowofthecommonestarticlesofcrockeryandcooking-vessels。Theroofoftheroomwasnotplastered，butwasformedoftheflooringoftheroomabove。This，beingveryold，knotted，seamed，andbeamed，gavealoweringaspecttothechamber；androof，andwalls，andfloor，alikeaboundinginoldsmearsofflour，red-lead(orsomesuchstainwhichithadprobablyacquiredinwarehousing)，anddamp，alikehadalookofdecomposition。

'Thegentleman，father。'

Thefigureattheredfireturned，raiseditsruffledhead，andlookedlikeabirdofprey。

'You'reMortimerLightwoodEsquire；areyou，sir?'

'MortimerLightwoodismyname。Whatyoufound，'saidMortimer，glancingrathershrinkinglytowardsthebunk；'isithere?'

''Tain'tnottosayhere，butit'scloseby。Idoeverythingreg'lar。

I'vegiv'noticeofthecircumstarncetothepolice，andthepolicehavetookpossessionofit。Notimeain'tbeenlost，onanyhand。

Thepolicehaveputintoprintalready，andhere'swhattheprintsaysofit。'

Takingupthebottlewiththelampinit，hehelditnearapaperonthewall，withthepoliceheading，BODYFOUND。Thetwofriendsreadthehandbillasitstuckagainstthewall，andGafferreadthemasheheldthelight。

'Onlypapersontheunfortunateman，Isee，'saidLightwood，glancingfromthedescriptionofwhatwasfound，tothefinder。

'Onlypapers。'

Herethegirlarosewithherworkinherhand，andwentoutatthedoor。

'Nomoney，'pursuedMortimer；'butthreepenceinoneoftheskirt-

pockets。'

'Three。Penny。Pieces，'saidGafferHexam，inasmanysentences。

'Thetrouserspocketsempty，andturnedinsideout。'

GafferHexamnodded。'Butthat'scommon。Whetherit'sthewashofthetideorno，Ican'tsay。Now，here，'movingthelighttoanothersimilarplacard，'HISpocketswasfoundempty，andturnedinsideout。Andhere，'movingthelighttoanother，'HERpocketwasfoundempty，andturnedinsideout。Andsowasthisone's。

Andsowasthatone's。Ican'tread，norIdon'twanttoit，forI

know'embytheirplacesonthewall。Thisonewasasailor，withtwoanchorsandaflagandG。F。T。onhisarm。Lookandseeifhewarn't。'

'Quiteright。'

'Thisonewastheyoungwomaningreyboots，andherlinenmarkedwithacross。Lookandseeifshewarn't。'

'Quiteright。'

'Thisishimashadanastycutovertheeye。Thisisthemtwoyoungsisterswhattiedthemselvestogetherwithahandkecher。

Thisthedrunkenoldchap，inapairoflistslippersandanightcap，wothadoffered——itafterwardscomeout——tomakeaholeinthewaterforaquarternofrumstoodaforehand，andkepttohiswordforthefirstandlasttimeinhislife。Theyprettywellpaperstheroom，yousee；butIknow'emall。I'mscholarenough！'

Hewavedthelightoverthewhole，asiftotypifythelightofhisscholarlyintelligence，andthenputitdownonthetableandstoodbehinditlookingintentlyathisvisitors。Hehadthespecialpeculiarityofsomebirdsofprey，thatwhenheknittedhisbrow，hisruffledcreststoodhighest。

'Youdidnotfindalltheseyourself；didyou?'askedEugene。

Towhichthebirdofpreyslowlyrejoined，'AndwhatmightYOUR

namebe，now?'

'Thisismyfriend，'MortimerLightwoodinterposed；'MrEugeneWrayburn。'

'MrEugeneWrayburn，isit?AndwhatmightMrEugeneWrayburnhaveaskedofme?'

'Iaskedyou，simply，ifyoufoundalltheseyourself?'

'Iansweryou，simply，moston'em。'

'Doyousupposetherehasbeenmuchviolenceandrobbery，beforehand，amongthesecases?'

'Idon'tsupposeatallaboutit，'returnedGaffer。'Iain'toneofthesupposingsort。Ifyou'dgotyourlivingtohauloutoftherivereverydayofyourlife，youmightn'tbemuchgiventosupposing。

AmItoshowtheway?'

Asheopenedthedoor，inpursuanceofanodfromLightwood，anextremelypaleanddisturbedfaceappearedinthedoorway——thefaceofamanmuchagitated。

'Abodymissing?'askedGafferHexam，stoppingshort；'orabodyfound?Which?'

'Iamlost！'repliedtheman，inahurriedandaneagermanner。

'Lost?'

'I——I——amastranger，anddon'tknowtheway。I——I——wanttofindtheplacewhereIcanseewhatisdescribedhere。ItispossibleImayknowit。'Hewaspanting，andcouldhardlyspeak；but，heshowedacopyofthenewly-printedbillthatwasstillwetuponthewall。

Perhapsitsnewness，orperhapstheaccuracyofhisobservationofitsgenerallook，guidedGaffertoareadyconclusion。

'Thisgentleman，MrLightwood，isonthatbusiness。'

'MrLightwood?'

Duringapause，Mortimerandthestrangerconfrontedeachother。

Neitherknewtheother。

'Ithink，sir，'saidMortimer，breakingtheawkwardsilencewithhisairyself-possession，'thatyoudidmethehonourtomentionmyname?'

'Irepeatedit，afterthisman。'

'YousaidyouwereastrangerinLondon?'

'Anutterstranger。'

'AreyouseekingaMrHarmon?'

'No。'

'ThenIbelieveIcanassureyouthatyouareonafruitlesserrand，andwillnotfindwhatyoufeartofind。Willyoucomewithus?'

Alittlewindingthroughsomemuddyalleysthatmighthavebeendepositedbythelastill-savouredtide，broughtthemtothewicket-

gateandbrightlampofaPoliceStation；wheretheyfoundtheNight-Inspector，withapenandink，andruler，postinguphisbooksinawhitewashedoffice，asstudiouslyasifhewereinamonasteryontopofamountain，andnohowlingfuryofadrunkenwomanwerebangingherselfagainstacell-doorintheback-yardathiselbow。Withthesameairofareclusemuchgiventostudy，hedesistedfromhisbookstobestowadistrustfulnodofrecognitionuponGaffer，plainlyimporting，'Ah！weknowallaboutYOU，andyou'lloverdoitsomeday；'andtoinformMrMorrimerLightwoodandfriends，thathewouldattendthemimmediately。Then，hefinishedrulingtheworkhehadinhand(itmighthavebeenilluminatingamissal，hewassocalm)，inaveryneatandmethodicalmanner，showingnottheslightestconsciousnessofthewomanwhowasbangingherselfwithincreasedviolence，andshriekingmostterrificallyforsomeotherwoman'sliver。

'Abull's-eye，'saidtheNight-Inspector，takinguphiskeys。Whichadeferentialsatelliteproduced。'Now，gentlemen。'

Withoneofhiskeys，heopenedacoolgrotattheendoftheyard，andtheyallwentin。Theyquicklycameoutagain，noonespeakingbutEugene:whoremarkedtoMortimer，inawhisper，'NotMUCHworsethanLadyTippins。'

So，backtothewhitewashedlibraryofthemonastery——withthatliverstillinshriekingrequisition，asithadbeenloudly，whiletheylookedatthesilentsighttheycametosee——andtherethroughthemeritsofthecaseassummedupbytheAbbot。Nocluetohowbodycameintoriver。Veryoftenwasnoclue。Toolatetoknowforcertain，whetherinjuriesreceivedbeforeorafterdeath；oneexcellentsurgicalopinionsaid，before；otherexcellentsurgicalopinionsaid，after。Stewardofshipinwhichgentlemancamehomepassenger，hadbeenroundtoview，andcouldsweartoidentity。Likewisecouldsweartoclothes。Andthen，yousee，youhadthepapers，too。Howwasithehadtotallydisappearedonleavingship，'tillfoundinriver?Well！Probablyhadbeenuponsomelittlegame。Probablythoughtitaharmlessgame，wasn'tuptothings，anditturnedoutafatalgame。Inquestto-morrow，andnodoubtopenverdict。

'Itappearstohaveknockedyourfriendover——knockedhimcompletelyoffhislegs，'MrInspectorremarked，whenhehadfinishedhissummingup。'Ithasgivenhimabadturntobesure！'

Thiswassaidinaverylowvoice，andwithasearchinglook(notthefirsthehadcast)atthestranger。

MrLightwoodexplainedthatitwasnofriendofhis。

'Indeed?'saidMrInspector，withanattentiveear；'wheredidyoupickhimup?'

MrLightwoodexplainedfurther。

MrInspectorhaddeliveredhissummingup，andhadaddedthesewords，withhiselbowsleaningonhisdesk，andthefingersandthumbofhisrighthand，fittingthemselvestothefingersandthumbofhisleft。MrInspectormovednothingbuthiseyes，ashenowadded，raisinghisvoice:

'Turnedyoufaint，sir！Seemsyou'renotaccustomedtothiskindofwork?'

Thestranger，whowasleaningagainstthechimneypiecewithdroopinghead，lookedroundandanswered，'No。It'sahorriblesight！'

'Youexpectedtoidentify，Iamtold，sir?'

'Yes。'

'HAVEyouidentified?'

'No。It'sahorriblesight。O！ahorrible，horriblesight！'

'Whodidyouthinkitmighthavebeen?'askedMrInspector。'Giveusadescription，sir。Perhapswecanhelpyou。'

'No，no，'saidthestranger；'itwouldbequiteuseless。Good-night。'

MrInspectorhadnotmoved，andhadgivennoorder；but，thesatelliteslippedhisbackagainstthewicket，andlaidhisleftarmalongthetopofit，andwithhisrighthandturnedthebull's-eyehehadtakenfromhischief——inquiteacasualmanner——towardsthestranger。

'Youmissedafriend，youknow；oryoumissedafoe，youknow；oryouwouldn'thavecomehere，youknow。Well，then；ain'titreasonabletoask，whowasit?'Thus，MrInspector。

'Youmustexcusemytellingyou。Noclassofmancanunderstandbetterthanyou，thatfamiliesmaynotchoosetopublishtheirdisagreementsandmisfortunes，exceptonthelastnecessity。Idonotdisputethatyoudischargeyourdutyinaskingmethequestion；

youwillnotdisputemyrighttowithholdtheanswer。Good-night。'

Againheturnedtowardsthewicket，wherethesatellite，withhiseyeuponhischief，remainedadumbstatue。

'Atleast，'saidMrInspector，'youwillnotobjecttoleavemeyourcard，sir?'

'Ishouldnotobject，ifIhadone；butIhavenot。'Hereddenedandwasmuchconfusedashegavetheanswer。

'Atleast，'saidMrInspector，withnochangeofvoiceormanner，'youwillnotobjecttowritedownyournameandaddress?'

'Notatall。'

MrInspectordippedapeninhisinkstand，anddeftlylaiditonapieceofpaperclosebesidehim；thenresumedhisformerattitude。

Thestrangersteppeduptothedesk，andwroteinarathertremuloushand——MrInspectortakingsidelongnoteofeveryhairofhisheadwhenitwasbentdownforthepurpose——'MrJuliusHandford，ExchequerCoffeeHouse，PalaceYard，Westminster。'

'Stayingthere，Ipresume，sir?'

'Stayingthere。'

'Consequently，fromthecountry?'

'Eh?Yes——fromthecountry。'

'Good-night，sir。'

Thesatelliteremovedhisarmandopenedthewicket，andMrJuliusHandfordwentout。

'Reserve！'saidMrInspector。'Takecareofthispieceofpaper，keephiminviewwithoutgivingoffence，ascertainthatheISstayingthere，andfindoutanythingyoucanabouthim。'

Thesatellitewasgone；andMrInspector，becomingonceagainthequietAbbotofthatMonastery，dippedhispeninhisinkandresumedhisbooks。Thetwofriendswhohadwatchedhim，moreamusedbytheprofessionalmannerthansuspiciousofMrJuliusHandford，inquiredbeforetakingtheirdeparturetoowhetherhebelievedtherewasanythingthatreallylookedbadhere?

TheAbbotrepliedwithreticence，couldn'tsay。Ifamurder，anybodymighthavedoneit。Burglaryorpocket-pickingwanted'prenticeship。Notso，murder。Wewereallofusuptothat。Hadseenscoresofpeoplecometoidentify，andneversawonepersonstruckinthatparticularway。Might，however，havebeenStomachandnotMind。Ifso，rumstomach。Buttobesuretherewererumeverythings。Pitytherewasnotawordoftruthinthatsuperstitionaboutbodiesbleedingwhentouchedbythehandoftherightperson；younevergotasignoutofbodies。Yougotrowenoughoutofsuchasher——shewasgoodforallnightnow(referringheretothebangingdemandsfortheliver)，'butyougotnothingoutofbodiesifitwaseverso。'

TherebeingnothingmoretobedoneuntiltheInquestwasheldnextday，thefriendswentawaytogether，andGafferHexamandhissonwenttheirseparateway。But，arrivingatthelastcorner，Gafferbadehisboygohomewhileheturnedintoared-curtainedtavern，thatstooddropsicallybulgingoverthecauseway，'forahalf-a-pint。'

Theboyliftedthelatchhehadliftedbefore，andfoundhissisteragainseatedbeforethefireatherwork。Whoraisedherheaduponhiscominginandasking:

'Wheredidyougo，Liz?'

'Iwentoutinthedark。'

'Therewasnonecessityforthat。Itwasallrightenough。'

'Oneofthegentlemen，theonewhodidn'tspeakwhileIwasthere，lookedhardatme。AndIwasafraidhemightknowwhatmyfacemeant。Butthere！Don'tmindme，Charley！Iwasallinatrembleofanothersortwhenyouownedtofatheryoucouldwritealittle。'

'Ah！ButImadebelieveIwrotesobadly，asthatitwasoddsifanyonecouldreadit。AndwhenIwroteslowestandsmearedbutwithmyfingermost，fatherwasbestpleased，ashestoodlookingoverme。'

Thegirlputasideherwork，anddrawingherseatclosetohisseatbythefire，laidherarmgentlyonhisshoulder。

'You'llmakethemostofyourtime，Charley；won'tyou?'

'Won'tI?Come！Ilikethat。Don'tI?'

'Yes，Charley，yes。Youworkhardatyourlearning，Iknow。AndIworkalittle，Charley，andplanandcontrivealittle(wakeoutofmysleepcontrivingsometimes)，howtogettogetherashillingnow，andashillingthen，thatshallmakefatherbelieveyouarebeginningtoearnastraylivingalongshore。'

'Youarefather'sfavourite，andcanmakehimbelieveanything。'

'IwishIcould，Charley！ForifIcouldmakehimbelievethatlearningwasagoodthing，andthatwemightleadbetterlives，I

shouldbea'mostcontenttodie。'

'Don'ttalkstuffaboutdying，Liz。'

Sheplacedherhandsinoneanotheronhisshoulder，andlayingherrichbrowncheekagainstthemasshelookeddownatthefire，wentonthoughtfully:

'Ofanevening，Charley，whenyouareattheschool，andfather's——'

'AttheSixJollyFellowshipPorters，'theboystruckin，withabackwardnodofhisheadtowardsthepublic-house。

'Yes。ThenasIsita-lookingatthefire，Iseemtoseeintheburningcoal——likewherethatglowisnow——'

'That'sgas，thatis，'saidtheboy，'comingoutofabitofaforestthat'sbeenunderthemudthatwasunderthewaterinthedaysofNoah'sArk。Lookhere！WhenItakethepoker——so——andgiveitadig——'

'Don'tdisturbit，Charley，orit'llbeallinablaze。It'sthatdullglownearit，comingandgoing，thatImean。WhenIlookatitofanevening，itcomeslikepicturestome，Charley。'

'Showusapicture，'saidtheboy。'Telluswheretolook。'

'Ah！Itwantsmyeyes，Charley。'

'Cutawaythen，andtelluswhatyoureyesmakeofit。'

'Why，thereareyouandme，Charley，whenyouwerequiteababythatneverknewamother——'

'Don'tgosayingIneverknewamother，'interposedtheboy，'forI

knewalittlesisterthatwassisterandmotherboth。'

【推荐阅读】幽幽深宫，醒来一梦似千年，重生于下堂妃身躯中的她，将如何手刃仇人? 点击阅读