Shewonthegame，andIdealt。Imisdealt，aswasonlynatural，whenIknewshewaslyinginwaitformetodowrong；andshedenouncedmeforastupid，clumsylabouring-boy。
`Yousaynothingofher，'remarkedMissHavishamtome，asshelookedon。`Shesaysmanyhardthingsofyou，butyousaynothingofher。Whatdoyouthinkofher？'
`Idon'tliketosay，'Istammered。
`Tellmeinmyear，'saidMissHavisham，bendingdown。
`Ithinksheisveryproud，'Ireplied，inawhisper。
`Anythingelse？'
`Ithinksheisverypretty。'
`Anythingelse？'
`Ithinksheisveryinsulting。'(Shewaslookingatmethenwithalookofsupremeaversion。)
`Anythingelse？'
`IthinkIshouldliketogohome。'
`Andneverseeheragain，thoughsheissopretty？'
`IamnotsurethatIshouldn'tliketoseeheragain，butIshouldliketogohomenow。'
`Youshallgosoon，'saidMissHavisham，aloud。`Playthegameout。'
Savingfortheoneweirdsmileatfirst，IshouldhavefeltalmostsurethatMissHavisham'sfacecouldnotsmile。Ithaddroppedintoawatchfulandbroodingexpression-mostlikelywhenallthethingsaboutherhadbecometransfixed-anditlookedasifnothingcouldeverliftitupagain。
Herchesthaddropped，sothatshestooped；andhervoicehaddropped，sothatshespokelow，andwithadeadlulluponher；altogether，shehadtheappearanceofhavingdropped，bodyandsoul，withinandwithout，undertheweightofacrushingblow。
IplayedthegametoanendwithEstella，andshebeggaredme。Shethrewthecardsdownonthetablewhenshehadwonthemall，asifshedespisedthemforhavingbeenwonofme。
`WhenshallIhaveyouhereagain？'saidmissHavisham。`Letmethink。'
Iwasbeginningtoremindherthatto-daywasWednesday，whenshecheckedmewithherformerimpatientmovementofthefingersofherrighthand。
`There，there！Iknownothingofdaysoftheweek；Iknownothingofweeksoftheyear。Comeagainaftersixdays。Youhear？'
`Yes，ma'am。'
`Estella，takehimdown。Lethimhavesomethingtoeat，andlethimroamandlookabouthimwhileheeats。Go，Pip。'
Ifollowedthecandledown，asIhadfollowedthecandleup，andshestooditintheplacewherewehadfoundit。Untilsheopenedthesideentrance，Ihadfancied，withoutthinkingaboutit，thatitmustnecessarilybenight-time。Therushofthedaylightquiteconfoundedme，andmademefeelasifIhadbeeninthecandlelightofthestrangeroommanyhours。
`Youaretowaithere，youboy，'saidEstella；anddisappearedandclosedthedoor。
Itooktheopportunityofbeingaloneinthecourt-yard，tolookatmycoarsehandsandmycommonboots。Myopinionofthoseaccessorieswasnotfavourable。Theyhadnevertroubledmebefore，buttheytroubledmenow，asvulgarappendages。IdeterminedtoaskJoewhyhehadevertaughtmetocallthosepicture-cards，Jacks，whichoughttobecalledknaves。
IwishedJoehadbeenrathermoregenteellybroughtup，andthenIshouldhavebeensotoo。
Shecameback，withsomebreadandmeatandalittlemugofbeer。Sheputthemugdownonthestonesoftheyard，andgavemethebreadandmeatwithoutlookingatme，asinsolentlyasifIwereadogindisgrace。I
wassohumiliated，hurt，spurned，offended，angry，sorry-Icannothitupontherightnameforthesmart-Godknowswhatitsnamewas-thattearsstartedtomyeyes。Themomenttheysprangthere，thegirllookedatmewithaquickdelightinhavingbeenthecauseofthem。Thisgavemepowertokeepthembackandtolookather:so，shegaveacontemptuoustoss-butwithasense，Ithought，ofhavingmadetoosurethatIwassowounded-andleftme。
But，whenshewasgone，Ilookedaboutmeforaplacetohidemyfacein，andgotbehindoneofthegatesinthebrewery-lane，andleanedmysleeveagainstthewallthere，andleanedmyforeheadonitandcried。
AsIcried，Ikickedthewall，andtookahardtwistatmyhair；sobitterweremyfeelings，andsosharpwasthesmartwithoutaname，thatneededcounteraction。
Mysister'sbringinguphadmademesensitive。Inthelittleworldinwhichchildrenhavetheirexistencewhosoeverbringsthemup，thereisnothingsofinelyperceivedandsofinelyfelt，asinjustice。Itmaybeonlysmallinjusticethatthechildcanbeexposedto；butthechildissmall，anditsworldissmall，anditsrocking-horsestandsasmanyhandshigh，accordingtoscale，asabig-bonedIrishhunter。Withinmyself，I
hadsustained，frommybabyhood，aperpetualconflictwithinjustice。I
hadknown，fromthetimewhenIcouldspeak，thatmysister，inhercapriciousandviolentcoercion，wasunjusttome。Ihadcherishedaprofoundconvictionthatherbringingmeupbyhand，gavehernorighttobringmeupbyjerks。
Throughallmypunishments，disgraces，fastsandvigils，andotherpenitentialperformances，Ihadnursedthisassurance；andtomycommuningsomuchwithit，inasolitaryandunprotectedway，IingreatpartreferthefactthatIwasmorallytimidandverysensitive。
Igotridofmyinjuredfeelingsforthetime，bykickingthemintothebrewerywall，andtwistingthemoutofmyhair，andthenIsmoothedmyfacewithmysleeve，andcamefrombehindthegate。Thebreadandmeatwereacceptable，andthebeerwaswarmingandtingling，andIwassooninspiritstolookaboutme。
Tobesure，itwasadesertedplace，downtothepigeon-houseinthebrewery-yard，whichhadbeenblowncrookedonitspolebysomehighwind，andwouldhavemadethepigeonsthinkthemselvesatsea，iftherehadbeenanypigeonstheretoberockedbyit。But，therewerenopigeonsinthedove-cot，nohorsesinthestable，nopigsinthesty，nomaltinthestore-house，nosmellsofgrainsandbeerinthecopperorthevat。Alltheusesandscentsofthebrewerymighthaveevaporatedwithitslastreekofsmoke。
Inaby-yard，therewasawildernessofemptycasks，whichhadacertainsourremembranceofbetterdayslingeringaboutthem；butitwastoosourtobeacceptedasasampleofthebeerthatwasgone-andinthisrespectIrememberthosereclusesasbeinglikemostothers。
Behindthefurthestendofthebrewery，wasarankgardenwithanoldwall:notsohighbutthatIcouldstruggleupandholdonlongenoughtolookoverit，andseethattherankgardenwasthegardenofthehouse，andthatitwasovergrownwithtangledweeds，butthattherewasatrackuponthegreenandyellowpaths，asifsomeonesometimeswalkedthere，andthatEstellawaswalkingawayfrommeeventhen。Butsheseemedtobeeverywhere。For，whenIyieldedtothetemptationpresentedbythecasks，andbegantowalkonthem。Isawherwalkingonthemattheendoftheyardofcasks。Shehadherbacktowardsme，andheldherprettybrownhairspreadoutinhertwohands，andneverlookedround，andpassedoutofmyviewdirectly。So，inthebreweryitself-bywhichImeanthelargepavedloftyplaceinwhichtheyusedtomakethebeer，andwherethebrewingutensilsstillwere。WhenIfirstwentintoit，and，ratheroppressedbyitsgloom，stoodnearthedoorlookingaboutme，Isawherpassamongtheextinguishedfires，andascendsomelightironstairs，andgooutbyagalleryhighoverhead，asifsheweregoingoutintothesky。
Itwasinthisplace，andatthismoment，thatastrangethinghappenedtomyfancy。Ithoughtitastrangethingthen，andIthoughtitastrangerthinglongafterwards。Iturnedmyeyes-alittledimmedbylookingupatthefrostylight-towardsagreatwoodenbeaminalownookofthebuildingnearmeonmyrighthand，andIsawafigurehangingtherebytheneck。Afigureallinyellowwhite，withbutoneshoetothefeet；
andithungso，thatIcouldseethatthefadedtrimmingsofthedresswerelikeearthypaper，andthatthefacewasMissHavisham's，withamovementgoingoverthewholecountenanceasifsheweretryingtocalltome。Intheterrorofseeingthefigure，andintheterrorofbeingcertainthatithadnotbeenthereamomentbefore，Iatfirstranfromit，andthenrantowardsit。Andmyterrorwasgreatestofall，whenIfoundnofigurethere。
Nothinglessthanthefrostylightofthecheerfulsky，thesightofpeoplepassingbeyondthebarsofthecourt-yardgate，andtherevivinginfluenceoftherestofthebreadandmeatandbeer，wouldhavebroughtmeround。Evenwiththoseaids，ImightnothavecometomyselfassoonasIdid，butthatIsawEstellaapproachingwiththekeys，toletmeout。
Shewouldhavesomefairreasonforlookingdownuponme，Ithought，ifshesawmefrightened；andsheshouldhavenofairreason。
Shegavemeatriumphantglanceinpassingme，asifsherejoicedthatmyhandsweresocoarseandmybootsweresothick，andsheopenedthegate，andstoodholdingit。Iwaspassingoutwithoutlookingather，whenshetouchedmewithatauntinghand。
`Whydon'tyoucry？'
`BecauseIdon'twantto。'
`Youdo，'saidshe。`Youhavebeencryingtillyouarehalfblind，andyouarenearcryingagainnow。'
Shelaughedcontemptuously，pushedmeout，andlockedthegateuponme。IwentstraighttoMrPumblechook's，andwasimmenselyrelievedtofindhimnotathome。So，leavingwordwiththeshopmanonwhatdayIwaswantedatMissHavisham'sagain，Isetoffonthefour-milewalktoourforge；pondering，asIwentalong，onallIhadseen，anddeeplyrevolvingthatIwasacommonlabouring-boy；thatmyhandswerecoarse；thatmybootswerethick；thatIhadfallenintoadespicablehabitofcallingknavesJacks；thatIwasmuchmoreignorantthanIhadconsideredmyselflastnight，andgenerallythatIwasinalow-livedbadway。
Chapter9
WHENIreachedhome，mysisterwasverycurioustoknowallaboutMissHavisham's，andaskedanumberofquestions。AndIsoonfoundmyselfgettingheavilybumpedfrombehindinthenapeoftheneckandthesmalloftheback，andhavingmyfaceignominiouslyshovedagainstthekitchenwall，becauseIdidnotanswerthosequestionsatsufficientlength。
Ifadreadofnotbeingunderstoodbehiddeninthebreastsofotheryoungpeopletoanythingliketheextenttowhichitusedtobehiddeninmine-whichIconsiderprobable，asIhavenoparticularreasontosuspectmyselfofhavingbeenamonstrosity-itisthekeytomanyreservations。
IfeltconvincedthatifIdescribedMissHavisham'sasmyeyeshadseenit，Ishouldnotbeunderstood。Notonlythat，butIfeltconvincedthatMissHavishamtoowouldnotbeunderstood；andalthoughshewasperfectlyincomprehensibletome，Ientertainedanimpressionthattherewouldbesomethingcoarseandtreacherousinmydraggingherasshereallywas(tosaynothingofMissEstella)beforethecontemplationofMrsJoe。Consequently，IsaidaslittleasIcould，andhadmyfaceshovedagainstthekitchenwall。
TheworstofitwasthatthatbullyingoldPumblechook，preyeduponbyadevouringcuriositytobeinformedofallIhadseenandheard，camegapingoverinhischaise-cartattea-time，tohavethedetailsdivulgedtohim。Andthemeresightofthetorment，withhisfishyeyesandmouthopen，hissandyhairinquisitivelyonend，andhiswaistcoatheavingwithwindyarithmetic，mademeviciousinmyreticence。
`Well，boy，'UnclePumblechookbegan，assoonashewasseatedinthechairofhonourbythefire。`Howdidyougetonuptown？'
Ianswered，`Prettywell，sir，'andmysistershookherfistatme。
`Prettywell？'Mr。Pumblechookrepeated。`Prettywellisnoanswer。
Telluswhatyoumeanbyprettywell，boy？'
Whitewashontheforeheadhardensthebrainintoastateofobstinacyperhaps。Anyhow，withwhitewashfromthewallonmyforehead，myobstinacywasadamantine。Ireflectedforsometime，andthenansweredasifIhaddiscoveredanewidea，`Imeanprettywell。'
Mysisterwithanexclamationofimpatiencewasgoingtoflyatme-
Ihadnoshadowofdefence，forJoewasbusyintheforgewhenMrPumblechookinterposedwith`No！Don'tloseyourtemper。Leavethisladtome，ma'am；
leavethisladtome。'MrPumblechookthenturnedmetowardshim，asifheweregoingtocutmyhair，andsaid:
`First(togetourthoughtsinorder):Forty-threepence？'
Icalculatedtheconsequencesofreplying`FourHundredPound，'andfindingthemagainstme，wentasneartheanswerasIcould-whichwassomewhereabouteightpenceoff。MrPumblechookthenputmethroughmypence-tablefrom`twelvepencemakeoneshilling，'upto`fortypencemakethreeandfourpence，'andthentriumphantlydemanded，asifhehaddoneforme，`Now！Howmuchisforty-threepence？'TowhichIreplied，afteralongintervalofreflection，`Idon'tknow。'AndIwassoaggravatedthatIalmostdoubtifIdidknow。
MrPumblechookworkedhisheadlikeascrewtoscrewitoutofme，andsaid，`Isforty-threepencesevenandsixpencethreefardens，forinstance？'
`Yes！'saidI。Andalthoughmysisterinstantlyboxedmyears，itwashighlygratifyingtometoseethattheanswerspoilthisjoke，andbroughthimtoadeadstop。
`Boy！WhatlikeisMissHavisham？'MrPumblechookbeganagainwhenhehadrecovered；foldinghisarmstightonhischestandapplyingthescrew。
`Verytallanddark，'Itoldhim。
`Isshe，uncle？'askedmysister。
MrPumblechookwinkedassent；fromwhichIatonceinferredthathehadneverseenMissHavisham，forshewasnothingofthekind。
`Good！'saidMrPumblechookconceitedly。(`Thisisthewaytohavehim！
Wearebeginningtoholdourown，Ithink，Mum？')
`Iamsure，uncle，'returnedMrsJoe，`Iwishyouhadhimalways:youknowsowellhowtodealwithhim。'
`Now，boy！Whatwassheadoingof，whenyouwentintoday？'askedMrPumblechook。
`Shewassitting，'Ianswered，`inablackvelvetcoach。'
MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanother-astheywellmight-andbothrepeated，`Inablackvelvetcoach？'
`Yes，'saidI。`AndMissEstella-that'sherniece，Ithink-handedherincakeandwineatthecoach-window，onagoldplate。Andweallhadcakeandwineongoldplates。AndIgotupbehindthecoachtoeatmine，becauseshetoldmeto。'
`Wasanybodyelsethere？'askedMrPumblechook。
`Fourdogs，'saidI。
`Largeorsmall？'
`Immense，'saidI。`Andtheyfoughtforvealcutletsoutofasilverbasket。'
MrPumblechookandMrsJoestaredatoneanotheragain，inutteramazement。
Iwasperfectlyfrantic-arecklesswitnessunderthetorture-andwouldhavetoldthemanything。
`Wherewasthiscoach，inthenameofgracious？'askedmysister。
`InMissHavisham'sroom。'Theystaredagain。`Butthereweren'tanyhorsestoit。'Iaddedthissavingclause，inthemomentofrejectingfourrichlycaparisonedcourserswhichIhadhadwildthoughtsofharnessing。
`Canthisbepossible，uncle？'askedMrsJoe。`Whatcantheboymean？'
`I'lltellyou，Mum，'saidMrPumblechook。`Myopinionis，it'sasedan-chair。
She'sflighty，youknow-veryflighty-quiteflightyenoughtopassherdaysinasedan-chair。'
`Didyoueverseeherinit，uncle？'askedMrsJoe。
`HowcouldI，'hereturned，forcedtotheadmission，`whenIneverseeherinmylife？Neverclappedeyesuponher！'
`Goodness，uncle！Andyetyouhavespokentoher？'
`Why，don'tyouknow，'saidMrPumblechook，testily，`thatwhenIhavebeenthere，Ihavebeentookuptotheoutsideofherdoor，andthedoorhasstoodajar，andshehasspoketomethatway。Don'tsayyoudon'tknowthat，Mum。Howsever，theboywenttheretoplay。Whatdidyouplayat，boy？'
`Weplayedwithflags，'Isaid。(IbegtoobservethatIthinkofmyselfwithamazement，whenIrecalltheliesItoldonthisoccasion。)
`Flags！'echoedmysister。
`Yes，'saidI。`Estellawavedablueflag，andIwavedaredone，andMissHavishamwavedonesprinkledalloverwithlittlegoldstars，outatthecoach-window。Andthenweallwavedourswordsandhurrahed。'
`Swords！'repeatedmysister。`Wheredidyougetswordsfrom？'
`Outofacupboard，'sandI。`AndIsawpistolsinit-andjam-andpills。Andtherewasnodaylightintheroom，butitwasalllightedupwithcandles。'
`That'strue，Mum，'saidMrPumblechook，withagravenod。`That'sthestateofthecase，forthatmuchI'veseenmyself。'Andthentheybothstaredatme，andI，withanobtrusiveshowofartlessnessonmycountenance，staredatthem，andplaitedtherightlegofmytrouserswithmyrighthand。
IftheyhadaskedmeanymorequestionsIshouldundoubtedlyhavebetrayedmyself，forIwaseventhenonthepointofmentioningthattherewasaballoonintheyard，andshouldhavehazardedthestatementbutformyinventionbeingdividedbetweenthatphenomenonandabearinthebrewery。
Theyweresomuchoccupied，however，indiscussingthemarvelsIhadalreadypresentedfortheirconsideration，thatIescaped。ThesubjectstillheldthemwhenJoecameinfromhisworktohaveacupoftea。Towhommysister，moreforthereliefofherownmindthanforthegratificationofhis，relatedmypretendedexperiences。
Now，whenIsawJoeopenhisblueeyesandrollthemallroundthekitcheninhelplessamazement，Iwasovertakenbypenitence；butonlyasregardedhim-notintheleastasregardedtheothertwo。TowardsJoe，andJoeonly，Iconsideredmyselfayoungmonster，whiletheysatdebatingwhatresultswouldcometomefromMissHavisham'sacquaintanceandfavour。
TheyhadnodoubtthatMissHavishamwould`dosomething'forme；theirdoubtsrelatedtotheformthatsomethingwouldtake。Mysisterstoodoutfor`property。'MrPumblechookwasinfavourofahandsomepremiumforbindingmeapprenticetosomegenteeltrade-say，thecornandseedtrade，forinstance。Joefellintothedeepestdisgracewithboth，forofferingthebrightsuggestionthatImightonlybepresentedwithoneofthedogswhohadfoughtfortheveal-cutlets。`Ifafool'sheadcan'texpressbetteropinionsthanthat，'saidmysister，`andyouhavegotanyworktodo，youhadbettergoanddoit。'Sohewent。
AfterMrPumblechookhaddrivenoff，andwhenmysisterwaswashingup，IstoleintotheforgetoJoe，andremainedbyhimuntilhehaddoneforthenight。ThenIsaid，`Beforethefiregoesout，Joe，Ishouldliketotellyousomething。'
`Shouldyou，Pip？'saidJoe，drawinghisshoeing-stoolneartheforge。
`Thentellus。Whatisit，Pip？'
`Joe，'saidI，takingholdofhisrolled-upshirtsleeve，andtwistingitbetweenmyfingerandthumb，`yourememberallthataboutMissHavisham's？'
`Remember？'saidJoe。`Ibelieveyou！Wonderful！'
`It'saterriblething，Joe；itain'ttrue。'
`Whatareyoutellingof，Pip？'criedJoe，fallingbackinthegreatestamazement。`Youdon'tmeantosayit's——'
`YesIdo；it'slies，Joe。'
`Butnotallofit？Whysureyoudon'tmeantosay，Pip，thattherewasnoblackwelwetco-eh？'For，Istoodshakingmyhead。`Butatleasttherewasdogs，Pip？Come，Pip，'saidJoe，persuasively，`iftherewarn'tnoweal-cutlets，atleasttherewasdogs？'
`No，Joe。'
`Adog？'saidJoe。`Apuppy？Come？'
`No，Joe，therewasnothingatallofthekind。'
AsIfixedmyeyeshopelesslyonJoe，Joecontemplatedmeindismay。
`Pip，oldchap！Thiswon'tdo，oldfellow！Isay！Wheredoyouexpecttogoto？'
`It'sterrible，Joe；an'tit？'
`Terrible？'criedJoe。`Awful！Whatpossessedyou？'
`Idon'tknowwhatpossessedme，Joe，'Ireplied，lettinghisshirtsleevego，andsittingdownintheashesathisfeet，hangingmyhead；
`butIwishyouhadn'ttaughtmetocallKnavesatcards，Jacks；andI
wishmybootsweren'tsothicknotmyhandssocoarse。'
AndthenItoldJoethatIfeltverymiserable，andthatIhadn'tbeenabletoexplainmyselftoMrsJoeandPumblechookwhoweresorudetome，andthattherehadbeenabeautifulyoungladyatMissHavisham'swhowasdreadfullyproud，andthatshehadsaidIwascommon，andthatIknewI
wascommon，andthatIwishedIwasnotcommon，andthatthelieshadcomeofitsomehow，thoughIdidn'tknowhow。
Thiswasacaseofmetaphysics，atleastasdifficultforJoetodealwith，asforme。ButJoetookthecasealtogetheroutoftheregionofmetaphysics，andbythatmeansvanquishedit。
`There'sonethingyoumaybesureof，Pip，'saidJoe，aftersomerumination，`namely，thatliesislies。Howsevertheycome，theydidn'toughttocome，andtheycomefromthefatheroflies，andworkroundtothesame。Don'tyoutellnomoreof'em，Pip。Thatain'tthewaytogetoutofbeingcommon，oldchap。Andastobeingcommon，Idon'tmakeitoutatallclear。
Youareoncommoninsomethings。You'reoncommonsmall。Likewiseyou'reaoncommonscholar。'
`No，Iamignorantandbackward，Joe。'
`Why，seewhataletteryouwrotelastnight！Wroteinprinteven！I'veseenletters-Ah！andfromgentlefolks！-thatI'llswearweren'twroteinprint，'saidJoe。
`Ihavelearntnexttonothing，Joe。Youthinkmuchofme。It'sonlythat。'
`Well，Pip，'saidJoe，`beitsoorbeitson't，youmustbeacommonscholaraforeyoucanbeaoncommonone，Ishouldhope！Thekinguponhisthrone，withhiscrownuponhis'ed，can'tsitandwritehisactsofParliamentinprint，withouthavingbegun，whenhewereaunpromotedPrince，withthealphabet-Ah！'addedJoe，withashakeoftheheadthatwasfullofmeaning，`andbegunatAtoo，andworkedhiswaytoZ。AndIknowwhatthatistodo，thoughIcan'tsayI'veexactlydoneit。'
Therewassomehopeinthispieceofwisdom，anditratherencouragedme。
`Whethercommononesastocallingsandearnings，'pursuedJoe，reflectively，`mightn'tbethebetterofcontinuingforakeepcompanywithcommonones，insteadofgoingouttoplaywithoncommonones-whichremindsmetohopethattherewereaflag，perhaps？'
`No，Joe。'
`(I'msorrythereweren'taflag，Pip)。Whetherthatmightbe，ormightn'tbe，isathingascan'tbelookedintonow，withoutputtingyoursisterontheRampage；andthat'sathingnottobethoughtof，asbeingdoneintentional。Lookeehere，Pip，atwhatissaidtoyoubyatruefriend。
Whichthistoyouthetruefriendsay。Ifyoucan'tgettobeoncommonthroughgoingstraight，you'llnevergettodoitthroughgoingcrooked。
Sodon'ttellnomoreon'em，Pip，andlivewellanddiehappy。'
`Youarenotangrywithme，Joe？'
`No，oldchap。ButbearinginmindthatthemwerewhichImeantersayofastunningandoutdacioussort-alludingtothemwhichborderedonweal-cutletsanddog-fighting-asincerewellwisherwouldadwise，Pip，theirbeingdroppedintoyourmeditations，whenyougoup-stairstobed。
That'sall，oldchap，anddon'tneverdoitnomore。'
WhenIgotuptomylittleroomandsaidmyprayers，IdidnotforgetJoe'srecommendation，andyetmyyoungmindwasinthatdisturbedandunthankfulstate，thatIthoughtlongafterIlaidmedown，howcommonEstellawouldconsiderJoe，amereblacksmith:howthickhisboots，andhowcoarsehishands。IthoughthowJoeandmysisterwerethensittinginthekitchen，andhowIhadcomeuptobedfromthekitchen，andhowMissHavishamandEstellaneversatinakitchen，butwerefarabovethelevelofsuchcommondoings。IfellasleeprecallingwhatI`usedtodo'whenIwasatMissHavisham's；asthoughIhadbeenthereweeksormonths，insteadofhours；
andasthoughitwerequiteanoldsubjectofremembrance，insteadofonethathadarisenonlythatday。
Thatwasamemorabledaytome，foritmadegreatchangesinme。But，itisthesamewithanylife。Imagineoneselecteddaystruckoutofit，andthinkhowdifferentitscoursewouldhavebeen。Pauseyouwhoreadthis，andthinkforamomentofthelongchainofironorgold，ofthornsorflowers，thatwouldneverhaveboundyou，butfortheformationofthefirstlinkononememorableday。
Chapter10
THEfelicitousideaoccurredtomeamorningortwolaterwhenIwoke，thatthebeststepIcouldtaketowardsmakingmyselfuncommonwastogetoutofBiddyeverythingsheknew。InpursuanceofthisluminousconceptionImentionedtoBiddywhenIwenttoMrWopsle'sgreat-aunt'satnight，thatIhadaparticularreasonforwishingtogetoninlife，andthatIshouldfeelverymuchobligedtoherifshewouldimpartallherlearningtome。Biddy，whowasthemostobligingofgirls，immediatelysaidshewould，andindeedbegantocarryoutherpromisewithinfiveminutes。
TheEducationalschemeorCourseestablishedbyMrWopsle'sgreat-auntmayberesolvedintothefollowingsynopsis。Thepupilsateapplesandputstrawsdownoneanother'sbacks，untilMrWopsle'sgreat-auntcollectedherenergies，andmadeanindiscriminatetotteratthemwithabirch-rod。
Afterreceivingthechargewitheverymarkofderision，thepupilsformedinlineandbuzzinglypassedaraggedbookfromhandtohand。Thebookhadanalphabetinit，somefiguresandtables，andalittlespelling-
thatistosay，ithadhadonce。Assoonasthisvolumebegantocirculate，MrWopsle'sgreat-auntfellintoastateofcoma；arisingeitherfromsleeporarheumaticparoxysm。ThepupilsthenenteredamongthemselvesuponacompetitiveexaminationonthesubjectofBoots，withtheviewofascertainingwhocouldtreadthehardestuponwhosetoes。ThismentalexerciselasteduntilBiddymadearushatthemanddistributedthreedefacedBibles(shapedasiftheyhadbeenunskilfullycutoffthechump-endofsomething)，moreillegiblyprintedatthebestthananycuriositiesofliteratureIhavesincemetwith，speckledalloverwithironmould，andhavingvariousspecimensoftheinsectworldsmashedbetweentheirleaves。ThispartoftheCoursewasusuallylightenedbyseveralsinglecombatsbetweenBiddyandrefractorystudents。Whenthefightswereover，Biddygaveoutthenumberofapage，andthenweallreadaloudwhatwecould-orwhatwecouldn't-inafrightfulchorus；Biddyleadingwithahighshrillmonotonousvoice，andnoneofushavingtheleastnotionof，orreverencefor，whatwewerereadingabout。
Whenthishorribledinhadlastedacertaintime，itmechanicallyawokeMrWopsle'sgreat-aunt，whostaggeredataboyfortuitously，andpulledhisears。ThiswasunderstoodtoterminatetheCoursefortheevening，andweemergedintotheairwithshrieksofintellectualvictory。Itisfairtoremarkthattherewasnoprohibitionagainstanypupil'sentertaininghimselfwithaslateorevenwiththeink(whentherewasany)，butthatitwasnoteasytopursuethatbranchofstudyinthewinterseason，onaccountofthelittlegeneralshopinwhichtheclasseswereholden-andwhichwasalsoMrWopsle'sgreat-aunt'ssitting-roomandbed-chamber-
beingbutfaintlyilluminatedthroughtheagencyofonelow-spiriteddip-candleandnosnuffers。
Itappearedtomethatitwouldtaketime，tobecomeuncommonunderthesecircumstances:nevertheless，Iresolvedtotryit，andthatveryeveningBiddyenteredonourspecialagreement，byimpartingsomeinformationfromherlittlecatalogueofPrices，undertheheadofmoistsugar，andlendingme，tocopyathome，alargeoldEnglishDwhichshehadimitatedfromtheheadingofsomenewspaper，andwhichIsupposed，untilshetoldmewhatitwas，tobeadesignforabuckle。
Ofcoursetherewasapublic-houseinthevillage，andofcourseJoelikedsometimestosmokehispipethere。IhadreceivedstrictordersfrommysistertocallforhimattheThreeJollyBargemen，thatevening，onmywayfromschool，andbringhimhomeatmyperil。TotheThreeJollyBargemen，therefore，Idirectedmysteps。
TherewasabarattheJollyBargemen，withsomealarminglylongchalkscoresinitonthewallatthesideofthedoor，whichseemedtometobeneverpaidoff。TheyhadbeenthereeversinceIcouldremember，andhadgrownmorethanIhad。Buttherewasaquantityofchalkaboutourcountry，andperhapsthepeopleneglectednoopportunityofturningittoaccount。
ItbeingSaturdaynight，Ifoundthelandlordlookingrathergrimlyattheserecords，butasmybusinesswaswithJoeandnotwithhim，Imerelywishedhimgoodevening，andpassedintothecommonroomattheendofthepassage，wheretherewasabrightlargekitchenfire，andwhereJoewassmokinghispipeincompanywithMrWopsleandastranger。Joegreetedmeasusualwith`Halloa，Pip，oldchap！'andthemomenthesaidthat，thestrangerturnedhisheadandlookedatme。
Hewasasecret-lookingmanwhomIhadneverseenbefore。Hisheadwasallononeside，andoneofhiseyeswashalfshutup，asifheweretakingaimatsomethingwithaninvisiblegun。Hehadapipeinhismouth，andhetookitout，and，afterslowlyblowingallhissmokeawayandlookinghardatmeallthetime，nodded。So，Inodded，andthenhenoddedagain，andmaderoomonthesettlebesidehimthatImightsitdownthere。
But，asIwasusedtositbesideJoewheneverIenteredthatplaceofresort，Isaid`No，thankyou，sir，'andfellintothespaceJoemadeformeontheoppositesettle。Thestrangeman，afterglancingatJoe，andseeingthathisattentionwasotherwiseengaged，noddedtomeagainwhenIhadtakenmyseat，andthenrubbedhisleg-inaveryoddway，asitstruckme。
`Youwassaying，'saidthestrangeman，turningtoJoe，`thatyouwasablacksmith。'
`Yes。Isaidit，youknow，'saidJoe。
`What'llyoudrink，Mr-？Youdidn'tmentionyourname，by-the-bye。'
Joementioneditnow，andthestrangemancalledhimbyit。`What'llyoudrink，MrGargery？Atmyexpense？Totopupwith？'
`Well，'saidJoe，`totellyouthetruth，Iain'tmuchinthehabitofdrinkingatanybody'sexpensebutmyown。'
`Habit？No，'returnedthestranger，`butonceandaway，andonaSaturdaynighttoo。Come！Putanametoit，MrGargery。'
`Iwouldn'twishtobestiffcompany，'saidJoe。`Rum。'
`Rum，'repeatedthestranger。`Andwilltheothergentlemanoriginateasentiment。'
`Rum，'saidMrWopsle。
`ThreeRums！'criedthestranger，callingtothelandlord。`Glassesround！'
`Thisothergentleman，'observedJoe，bywayofintroducingMrWopsle，`isagentlemanthatyouwouldliketoheargiveitout。Ourclerkatchurch。'
`Aha！'saidthestranger，quickly，andcockinghiseyeatme。`Thelonelychurch，rightoutonthemarshes，withgravesroundit！'
`That'sit，'saidJoe。
Thestranger，withacomfortablekindofgruntoverhispipe，puthislegsuponthesettlethathehadtohimself。Heworeaflappingbroad-brimmedtraveller'shat，andunderitahandkerchieftiedoverhisheadinthemannerofacap:sothatheshowednohair。Ashelookedatthefire，I
thoughtIsawacunningexpression，followedbyahalf-laugh，comeintohisface。
`Iamnotacquaintedwiththiscountry，gentlemen，butitseemsasolitarycountrytowardstheriver。'
`Mostmarshesissolitary，'saidJoe。
`Nodoubt，nodoubt。Doyoufindanygipsies，now，ortramps，orvagrantsofanysort，outthere？'
`No，'saidJoe；`nonebutarunawayconvictnowandthen。Andwedon'tfindthem，easy。Eh，MrWopsle？'
MrWopsle，withamajesticremembranceofolddiscomfiture，assented；
butnotwarmly。
`Seemsyouhavebeenoutaftersuch？'askedthestranger。
`Once，'returnedJoe。`Notthatwewantedtotakethem，youunderstand；
wewentoutaslookerson；me，andMrWopsle，andPip。Didn'tus，Pip？'
`Yes，Joe。'
Thestrangerlookedatmeagain-stillcockinghiseye，asifhewereexpresslytakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun-andsaid，`He'salikelyyoungparcelofbonesthat。Whatisityoucallhim？'
`Pip，'saidJoe。
`ChristenedPip？'
`No，notchristenedPip。'
`SurnamePip？'
`No，'saidJoe，`it'sakindoffamilynamewhathegavehimselfwhenainfant，andiscalledby。'
`Sonofyours？'
`Well，'saidJoe，meditatively-not，ofcourse，thatitcouldbeinanywisenecessarytoconsideraboutit，butbecauseitwasthewayattheJollyBargementoseemtoconsiderdeeplyabouteverythingthatwasdiscussedoverpipes；`well-no。No，heain't。'
`Nevvy？'saidthestrangeman。
`Well，'saidJoe，withthesameappearanceofprofoundcogitation，`heisnot-no，nottodeceiveyou，heisnot-mynevvy。'
`WhattheBlueBlazesishe？'askedthestranger。Whichappearedtometobeaninquiryofunnecessarystrength。
Mr。Wopslestruckinuponthat；asonewhoknewallaboutrelationships，havingprofessionaloccasiontobearinmindwhatfemalerelationsamanmightnotmarry；andexpoundedthetiesbetweenmeandJoe。Havinghishandin，MrWopslefinishedoffwithamostterrificallysnarlingpassagefromRichardtheThird，andseemedtothinkhehaddonequiteenoughtoaccountforitwhenheadded，-`asthepoetsays。'
AndhereImayremarkthatwhenMrWopslereferredtome，heconsidereditanecessarypartofsuchreferencetorumplemyhairandpokeitintomyeyes。Icannotconceivewhyeverybodyofhisstandingwhovisitedatourhouseshouldalwayshaveputmethroughthesameinflammatoryprocessundersimilarcircumstances。YetIdonotcalltomindthatIwaseverinmyearlieryouththesubjectofremarkinoursocialfamilycircle，butsomelarge-handedpersontooksomesuchophthalmicstepstopatronizeme。
Allthiswhile，thestrangemanlookedatnobodybutme，andlookedatmeasifheweredeterminedtohaveashotatmeatlast，andbringmedown。ButhesaidnothingafterofferinghisBlueBlazesobservation，untiltheglassesofrum-and-waterwerebrought；andthenhemadehisshot，andamostextraordinaryshotitwas。
Itwasnotaverbalremark，butaproceedingindumpshow，andwaspointedlyaddressedtome。Hestirredhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme，andhetastedhisrum-and-waterpointedlyatme。Andhestirreditandhetastedit:
notwithaspoonthatwasbroughttohim，butwithafile。
HedidthissothatnobodybutIsawthefile；andwhenhehaddoneithewipedthefileandputitinabreast-pocket。IknewittobeJoe'sfile，andIknewthatheknewmyconvict，themomentIsawtheinstrument。
Isatgazingathim，spell-bound。Buthenowreclinedonhissettle，takingverylittlenoticeofme，andtalkingprincipallyaboutturnips。
Therewasadelicioussenseofcleaning-upandmakingaquietpausebeforegoingoninlifeafresh，inourvillageonSaturdaynights，whichstimulatedJoetodaretostayouthalfanhourlongeronSaturdaysthanatothertimes。Thehalfhourandtherum-and-waterrunningouttogether，Joegotuptogo，andtookmebythehand。
`Stophalfamoment，MrGargery，'saidthestrangeman。`IthinkI'vegotabrightnewshillingsomewhereinmypocket，andifIhave，theboyshallhaveit。'
Helookeditoutfromahandfulofsmallchange，foldeditinsomecrumpledpaper，andgaveittome。`Yours！'saidhe。`Mind！Yourown。'
Ithankedhim，staringathimfarbeyondtheboundsofgoodmanners，andholdingtighttoJoe。HegaveJoegood-night，andhegaveMrWopslegood-night(whowentoutwithus)，andhegavemeonlyalookwithhisaimingeye-no，notalook，forheshutitup，butwondersmaybedonewithaneyebyhidingit。
Onthewayhome，ifIhadbeeninahumourfortalking，thetalkmusthavebeenallonmyside，forMrWopslepartedfromusatthedooroftheJollyBargemen，andJoewentallthewayhomewithhismouthwideopen，torinsetherumoutwithasmuchairaspossible。ButIwasinamannerstupefiedbythisturningupofmyoldmisdeedandoldacquaintance，andcouldthinkofnothingelse。
Mysisterwasnotinaverybadtemperwhenwepresentedourselvesinthekitchen，andJoewasencouragedbythatunusualcircumstancetotellheraboutthebrightshilling。`Abadun，I'llbebound，'saidMrsJoetriumphantly，`orhewouldn'thavegivenittotheboy！Let'slookatit。'
Itookitoutofthepaper，anditprovedtobeagoodone。`Butwhat'sthis？'saidMrsJoe，throwingdowntheshillingandcatchingupthepaper。
`TwoOne-Poundnotes？'
Nothinglessthantwofatswelteringone-poundnotesthatseemedtohavebeenontermsofthewarmestintimacywithallthecattlemarketsinthecounty。Joecaughtuphishatagain，andranwiththemtotheJollyBargementorestorethemtotheirowner。Whilehewasgone，Isatdownonmyusualstoolandlookedvacantlyatmysister，feelingprettysurethatthemanwouldnotbethere。
Presently，Joecameback，sayingthatthemanwasgone，butthathe，Joe，hadleftwordattheThreeJollyBargemenconcerningthenotes。Thenmysistersealedthemupinapieceofpaper，andputthemundersomedriedrose-leavesinanornamentaltea-potonthetopofapressinthestateparlour。Theretheyremained，anightmaretome，manyandmanyanightandday。
IhadsadlybrokensleepwhenIgottobed，throughthinkingofthestrangemantakingaimatmewithhisinvisiblegun，andoftheguiltilycoarseandcommonthingitwas，tobeonsecrettermsofconspiracywithconvicts-afeatureinmylowcareerthatIhadpreviouslyforgotten。
Iwashauntedbythefiletoo。AdreadpossessedmethatwhenIleastexpectedit，thefilewouldreappear。IcoaxedmyselftosleepbythinkingofMissHavisham's，nextWednesday；andinmysleepIsawthefilecomingatmeoutofadoor，withoutseeingwhoheldit，andIscreamedmyselfawake。
Chapter11
ATtheappointedtimeIreturnedtoMissHavisham's，andmyhesitatingringatthegatebroughtoutEstella。Shelockeditafteradmittingme，asshehaddonebefore，andagainprecededmeintothedarkpassagewherehercandlestood。Shetooknonoticeofmeuntilshehadthecandleinherhand，whenshelookedoverhershoulder，superciliouslysaying，`Youaretocomethiswaytoday，'andtookmetoquiteanotherpartofthehouse。
Thepassagewasalongone，andseemedtopervadethewholesquarebasementoftheManorHouse。Wetraversedbutonesideofthesquare，however，andattheendofitshestopped，andputhercandledownandopenedadoor。
Here，thedaylightreappeared，andIfoundmyselfinasmallpavedcourt-yard，theoppositesideofwhichwasformedbyadetacheddwelling-house，thatlookedasifithadoncebelongedtothemanagerorheadclerkoftheextinctbrewery。Therewasaclockintheouterwallofthishouse。LiketheclockinMissHavisham'sroom，andlikeMissHavisham'swatch，ithadstoppedattwentyminutestonine。
Wewentinatthedoor，whichstoodopen，andintoagloomyroomwithalowceiling，onthegroundfloorattheback。Therewassomecompanyintheroom，andEstellasaidtomeasshejoinedit，`Youaretogoandstandthere，boy，tillyouarewanted。'`There'，beingthewindow，Icrossedtoit，andstood`there，'inaveryuncomfortablestateofmind，lookingout。
Itopenedtotheground，andlookedintoamostmiserablecorneroftheneglectedgarden，uponarankruinofcabbage-stalks，andoneboxtreethathadbeenclippedroundlongago，likeapudding，andhadanewgrowthatthetopofit，outofshapeandofadifferentcolour，asifthatpartofthepuddinghadstucktothesaucepanandgotburnt。Thiswasmyhomelythought，asIcontemplatedthebox-tree。Therehadbeensomelightsnow，overnight，anditlaynowhereelsetomyknowledge；but，ithadnotquitemeltedfromthecoldshadowofthisbitofgarden，andthewindcaughtitupinlittleeddiesandthrewitatthewindow，asifitpeltedmeforcomingthere。
Idivinedthatmycominghadstoppedconversationintheroom，andthatitsotheroccupantswerelookingatme。Icouldseenothingoftheroomexcepttheshiningofthefireinthewindowglass，butIstiffenedinallmyjointswiththeconsciousnessthatIwasundercloseinspection。
Therewerethreeladiesintheroomandonegentleman。BeforeIhadbeenstandingatthewindowfiveminutes，theysomehowconveyedtomethattheywerealltoadiesandhumbugs，butthateachofthempretendednottoknowthattheothersweretoadiesandhumbugs:becausetheadmissionthatheorshedidknowit，wouldhavemadehimorherouttobeatoadyandhumbug。
Theyallhadalistlessanddrearyairofwaitingsomebody'spleasure，andthemosttalkativeoftheladieshadtospeakquiterigidlytorepressayawn。Thislady，whosenamewasCamilla，verymuchremindedmeofmysister，withthedifferencethatshewasolder，and(asIfoundwhenI
caughtsightofher)ofabluntercastoffeatures。Indeed，whenIknewherbetterIbegantothinkitwasaMercyshehadanyfeaturesatall，soveryblankandhighwasthedeadwallofherface。
`Poordearsoul！'saidthislady，withanabruptnessofmannerquitemysister's。`Nobody'senemybuthisown！'
`Itwouldbemuchmorecommendabletobesomebodyelse'senemy，'saidthegentleman；`farmorenatural。'
`CousinRaymond，'observedanotherlady，`wearetoloveourneighbour。'
`SarahPocket，'returnedCousinRaymond，`ifamanisnothisownneighbour，whois？'
MissPocketlaughed，andCamillalaughedandsaid(checkingayawn)，`Theidea！'ButIthoughttheyseemedtothinkitratheragoodideatoo。
Theotherlady，whohadnotspokenyet，saidgravelyandemphatically，`Verytrue！'
`Poorsoul！'Camillapresentlywenton(Iknewtheyhadallbeenlookingatmeinthemeantime)，`heissoverystrange！WouldanyonebelievethatwhenTom'swifedied，heactuallycouldnotbeinducedtoseetheimportanceofthechildren'shavingthedeepestoftrimmingstotheirmourning？"GoodLord！"sayshe，"Camilla，whatcanitsignifysolongasthepoorbereavedlittlethingsareinblack？"SolikeMatthew！Theidea！'
`Goodpointsinhim，goodpointsinhim，'saidCousinRaymond；`HeavenforbidIshoulddenygoodpointsinhim；butheneverhad，andheneverwillhave，anysenseoftheproprieties。'
`YouknowIwasobliged，'saidCamilla，`Iwasobligedtobefirm。I
said，"ItWILLNOTDO，forthecreditofthefamily。"Itoldhimthat，withoutdeeptrimmings，thefamilywasdisgraced。Icriedaboutitfrombreakfasttilldinner。Iinjuredmydigestion。Andatlastheflungoutinhisviolentway，andsaid，withaD，"Thendoasyoulike。"ThankGoodnessitwillalwaysbeaconsolationtometoknowthatIinstantlywentoutinapouringrainandboughtthethings。'
`Hepaidforthem，didhenot？'askedEstella。
`It'snotthequestion，mydearchild，whopaidforthem，'returnedCamilla。`Iboughtthem。AndIshalloftenthinkofthatwithpeace，whenIwakeupinthenight。'
Theringingofadistantbell，combinedwiththeechoingofsomecryorcallalongthepassagebywhichIhadcome，interruptedtheconversationandcausedEstellatosaytome，`Now，boy！'Onmyturninground，theyalllookedatmewiththeutmostcontempt，and，asIwentout，IheardSarahPocketsay，`WellIamsure！Whatnext！'andCamillaadd，withindignation，`Wasthereeversuchafancy！Thei-de-a！'
Asweweregoingwithourcandlealongthedarkpassage，Estellastoppedallofasudden，and，facinground，saidinhertauntingmannerwithherfacequiteclosetomine:
`Well？'
`Well，miss？'Ianswered，almostfallingoverherandcheckingmyself。
Shestoodlookingatme，and，ofcourse，Istoodlookingather。
`AmIpretty？'
`Yes；Ithinkyouareverypretty。'
`AmIinsulting？'
`Notsomuchsoasyouwerelasttime，'saidI。
`Notsomuchso？'
`No。'
Shefiredwhensheaskedthelastquestion，andsheslappedmyfacewithsuchforceasshehad，whenIansweredit。
`Now？'saidshe。`Youlittlecoarsemonster，whatdoyouthinkofmenow？'
`Ishallnottellyou。'
`Becauseyouaregoingtotell，up-stairs。Itthatit？'
`No，'saidI，`that'snotit。'
`Whydon'tyoucryagain，youlittlewretch？'
`BecauseI'llnevercryforyouagain，'saidI。Whichwas，Isuppose，asfalseadeclarationaseverwasmade；forIwasinwardlycryingforherthen，andIknowwhatIknowofthepainshecostmeafterwards。
Wewentonourwayup-stairsafterthisepisode；and，asweweregoingup，wemetagentlemangropinghiswaydown。
`Whomhavewehere？'askedthegentleman，stoppingandlookingatme。
`Aboy，'saidEstella。
Hewasaburlymanofanexceedinglydarkcomplexion，withanexceedinglylargeheadandacorrespondinglargehand。Hetookmychininhislargehandandturnedupmyfacetohavealookatmebythelightofthecandle。
Hewasprematurelybaldonthetopofhishead，andhadbushyblackeyebrowsthatwouldn'tliedownbutstoodupbristling。Hiseyesweresetverydeepinhishead，andweredisagreeablysharpandsuspicious。Hehadalargewatchchain，andstrongblackdotswherehisbeardandwhiskerswouldhavebeenifhehadletthem。Hewasnothingtome，andIcouldhavehadnoforesightthen，thatheeverwouldbeanythingtome，butithappenedthatIhadthisopportunityofobservinghimwell。
`Boyoftheneighbourhood？Hey？'saidhe。
`Yes，sir，'saidI。
`Howdoyoucomehere？'
`MissHavishamsentforme，sir，'Iexplained。
`Well！Behaveyourself。Ihaveaprettylargeexperienceofboys，andyou'reabadsetoffellows。Nowmind！'saidhe，bitingthesideofhisgreatforefingerashefrownedatme，`youbehaveyourself！'
Withthosewords，hereleasedme-whichIwasgladof，forhishandsmeltofscentedsoap-andwenthiswaydown-stairs。Iwonderedwhetherhecouldbeadoctor；butno，Ithought；hecouldn'tbeadoctor，orhewouldhaveaquieterandmorepersuasivemanner。Therewasnotmuchtimetoconsiderthesubject，forweweresooninMissHavisham'sroom，wheresheandeverythingelsewerejustasIhadleftthem。Estellaleftmestandingnearthedoor，andIstoodthereuntilMissHavishamcasthereyesuponmefromthedressing-table。
`So！'shesaid，withoutbeingstartledorsurprised；`thedayshavewornaway，havethey？'
`Yes，ma'am。To-dayis——'
`There，there，there！'withtheimpatientmovementofherfingers。`I
don'twanttoknow。Areyoureadytoplay？'
Iwasobligedtoanswerinsomeconfusion，`Idon'tthinkIam，ma'am。'
`Notatcardsagain？'shedemanded，withasearchinglook。
`Yes，ma'am；Icoulddothat，ifIwaswanted。'
`Sincethishousestrikesyouoldandgrave，boy，'saidMissHavisham，impatiently，`andyouareunwillingtoplay，areyouwillingtowork？'
IcouldanswerthisinquirywithabetterheartthanIhadbeenabletofindfortheotherquestion，andIsaidIwasquitewilling。
`Thengointothatoppositeroom，'saidshe，pointingatthedoorbehindmewithherwitheredhand，`andwaittheretillIcome。'
Icrossedthestaircaselanding，andenteredtheroomsheindicated。
Fromthatroom，too，thedaylightwascompletelyexcluded，andithadanairlesssmellthatwasoppressive。Afirehadbeenlatelykindledinthedampold-fashionedgrate，anditwasmoredisposedtogooutthantoburnup，andthereluctantsmokewhichhungintheroomseemedcolderthantheclearerair-likeourownmarshmist。Certainwintrybranchesofcandlesonthehighchimneypiecefaintlylightedthechamber:or，itwouldbemoreexpressivetosay，faintlytroubleditsdarkness。Itwasspacious，andIdaresayhadoncebeenhandsome，buteverydiscerniblethinginitwascoveredwithdustandmould，anddroppingtopieces。Themostprominentobjectwasalongtablewithatableclothspreadonit，asifafeasthadbeeninpreparationwhenthehouseandtheclocksallstoppedtogether。
Ané；pergneorcentrepieceofsomekindwasinthemiddleofthiscloth；itwassoheavilyoverhungwithcobwebsthatitsformwasquiteundistinguishable；and，asIlookedalongtheyellowexpanseoutofwhichIrememberitsseemingtogrow，likeablackfungus，Isawspeckled-leggedspiderswithblotchybodiesrunninghometoit，andrunningoutfromit，asifsomecircumstancesofthegreatestpublicimportancehadjusttranspiredinthespidercommunity。
Iheardthemicetoo，rattlingbehindthepanels，asifthesameoccurrencewereimportanttotheirinterests。But，theblackbeetlestooknonoticeoftheagitation，andgropedaboutthehearthinaponderouselderlyway，asiftheywereshort-sightedandhardofhearing，andnotontermswithoneanother。
ThesecrawlingthingshadfascinatedmyattentionandIwaswatchingthemfromadistance，whenMissHavishamlaidahanduponmyshoulder。
Inherotherhandshehadacrutch-headedstickonwhichsheleaned，andshelookedliketheWitchoftheplace。
`This，'saidshe，pointingtothelongtablewithherstick，`iswhereIwillbelaidwhenIamdead。Theyshallcomeandlookatmehere。'
Withsomevaguemisgivingthatshemightgetuponthetablethenandthereanddieatonce，thecompleterealizationoftheghastlywaxworkattheFair，Ishrankunderhertouch。
`Whatdoyouthinkthatis？'sheaskedme，againpointingwithherstick；
`that，wherethosecobwebsare？'
`Ican'tguesswhatitis，ma'am。'
`It'sagreatcake。Abride-cake。Mine！'
Shelookedallroundtheroominaglaringmanner，andthensaid，leaningonmewhileherhandtwitchedmyshoulder，`Come，come，come！Walkme，walkme！'
Imadeoutfromthis，thattheworkIhadtodo，wastowalkMissHavishamroundandroundtheroom。Accordingly，Istatedatonce，andsheleaneduponmyshoulder，andwewentawayatapacethatmighthavebeenanimitation(foundedonmyfirstimpulseunderthatroof)ofMrPumblechook'schaise-cart。
Shewasnotphysicallystrong，andafteralittletimesaid，`Slower！'
Still，wewentatanimpatientfitfulspeed，andaswewent，shetwitchedthehanduponmyshoulder，andworkedhermouth，andledmetobelievethatweweregoingfastbecauseherthoughtswentfast。Afterawhileshesaid，`CallEstella！'soIwentoutonthelandingandroaredthatnameasIhaddoneonthepreviousoccasion。Whenherlightappeared，IreturnedtoMissHavisham，andwestartedawayagainroundandroundtheroom。
IfonlyEstellahadcometobeaspectatorofourproceedings，Ishouldhavefeltsufficientlydiscontented；but，asshebroughtwithherthethreeladiesandthegentlemanwhomIhadseenbelow，Ididn'tknowwhattodo。
Inmypoliteness，Iwouldhavestopped；but，MissHavishamtwitchedmyshoulder，andwepostedon-withashame-facedconsciousnessonmypartthattheywouldthinkitwasallmydoing。
`DearMissHavisham，'saidMissSarahPocket。`Howwellyoulook！'
`Idonot，'returnedMissHavisham。`Iamyellowskinandbone。'
CamillabrightenedwhenMissPocketmetwiththisrebuff；andshemurmured，assheplaintivelycontemplatedMissHavisham，`Poordearsoul！'Certainlynottobeexpectedtolookwell，poorthing。Theidea！'
`Andhowareyou？'saidMissHavishamtoCamilla。AswewereclosetoCamillathen，Iwouldhavestoppedasamatterofcourse，onlyMissHavishamwouldn'tstop。Weswepton，andIfeltthatIwashighlyobnoxioustoCamilla。
`Thankyou，MissHavisham，'shereturned，`Iamaswellascanbeexpected。'
`Why，what'sthematterwithyou？'askedMissHavisham，withexceedingsharpness。
`Nothingworthmentioning，'repliedCamilla。`Idon'twishtomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butIhavehabituallythoughtofyoumoreinthenightthanIamquiteequalto。'
`Thendon'tthinkofme，'retortedMissHavisham。
`Veryeasilysaid！'remarkedCamilla，amiablyrepressingasob，whileahitchcameintoherupperlip，andhertearsoverflowed。`RaymondisawitnesswhatgingerandsalvolatileIamobligedtotakeinthenight。
RaymondisawitnesswhatnervousjerkingsIhaveinmylegs。Chokingsandnervousjerkings，however，arenothingnewtomewhenIthinkwithanxietyofthoseIlove。IfIcouldbelessaffectionateandsensitive，Ishouldhaveabetterdigestionandanironsetofnerves。IamsureI
wishtocouldbeso。Butastonotthinkingofyouinthenight-Theidea！'
Here，aburstoftears。
TheRaymondreferredto，Iunderstoodtobethegentlemanpresent，andhimIunderstoodtobeMrCamilla。Hecametotherescueatthispoint，andsaidinaconsolatoryandcomplimentaryvoice，`Camilla，mydear，itiswellknownthatyourfamilyfeelingsaregraduallyunderminingyoutotheextentofmakingoneofyourlegsshorterthantheother。'
`Iamnotaware，'observedthegraveladywhosevoiceIhadheardbutonce，`thattothinkofanypersonistomakeagreatclaimuponthatperson，mydear。'
MissSarahPocket，whomInowsawtobealittledrybrowncorrugatedoldwoman，withasmallfacethatmighthavebeenmadeofwalnutshells，andalargemouthlikeacat'swithoutthewhiskers，supportedthispositionbysaying，`No，indeed，mydear。Hem！'
`Thinkingiseasyenough，'saidthegravelady。
`Whatiseasier，youknow？'assentedMissSarahPocket。
`Oh，yes，yes！'criedCamilla，whosefermentingfeelingsappearedtorisefromherlegstoherbosom。`It'sallverytrue！It'saweaknesstobesoaffectionate，butIcan'thelpit。Nodoubtmyhealthwouldbemuchbetterifitwasotherwise，stillIwouldn'tchangemydispositionifI
could。It'sthecauseofmuchsuffering，butit'saconsolationtoknowIpossesit，whenIwakeupinthenight。'Hereanotherburstoffeeling。
MissHavishamandIhadneverstoppedallthistime，butkeptgoingroundandroundtheroom:now，brushingagainsttheskirtsofthevisitors:
now，givingthemthewholelengthofthedismalchamber。
`There'sMatthew！'saidCamilla。`Nevermixingwithanynaturalties，nevercomingheretoseehowMissHavishamis！Ihavetakentothesofawithmystaylacecut，andhavelaintherehours，insensible，withmyheadovertheside，andmyhairalldown，andmyfeetIdon'tknowwhere——'
(`Muchhigherthanyourhead，mylove，'saidMrCamilla。)
`Ihavegoneoffintothatstate，hoursandhours，onaccountofMatthew'sstrangeandinexplicableconduct，andnobodyhasthankedme。'
`ReallyImustsayIshouldthinknot！'interposedthegravelady。
`Yousee，mydear，'addedMissSarahPocket(ablandlyviciouspersonage)，`thequestiontoputtoyourselfis，whodidyouexpecttothankyou，mylove？'
`Withoutexpectinganythanks，oranythingofthesort，'resumedCamilla，`Ihaveremainedinthatstate，hoursandhours，andRaymondisawitnessoftheextenttowhichIhavechoked，andwhatthetotalinefficacyofgingerhasbeen，andIhavebeenheardatthepianoforte-tuner'sacrossthestreet，wherethepoormistakenchildrenhaveevensupposedittobepigeonscooingatadistance-andnowtobetold——'HereCamillaputherhandtoherthroat，andbegantobequitechemicalastotheformationofnewcombinationsthere。
WhenthissameMatthewwasmentioned，MissHavishamstoppedmeandherself，andstoodlookingatthespeaker。ThischangehadagreatinfluenceinbringingCamilla'schemistrytoasuddenend。
`Matthewwillcomeandseemeatlast，'saidMissHavisham，sternly，whenIamlaidonthattable。Thatwillbehisplace-there，'strikingthetablewithherstick，`atmyhead！Andyourswillbethere！Andyourhusband'sthere！AndSarahPocket'sthere！AndGeorgiana'sthere！Nowyouallknowwheretotakeyourstationswhenyoucometofeastuponme。Andnowgo！'
Atthementionofeachname，shehadstruckthetablewithherstickinanewplace。Shenowsaid，`Walkme，walkme！'andwewentonagain。
`Isupposethere'snothingtobedone，'exclaimedCamilla，`butcomplyanddepart。It'ssomethingtohaveseentheobjectofone'sloveandduty，forevensoshortatime。IshallthinkofitwithamelancholysatisfactionwhenIwakeupinthenight。IwishMatthewcouldhavethatcomfort，buthesetsitatdefiance。Iamdeterminednottomakeadisplayofmyfeelings，butit'sveryhardtobetoldonewantstofeastonone'srelations-asifonewasaGiant-andtobetoldtogo。Thebareidea！'
MrCamillainterposing，asMrsCamillalaidherhanduponherheavingbosom，thatladyassumedanunnaturalfortitudeofmannerwhichIsupposedtobeexpressiveofanintentiontodropandchokewhenoutofview，andkissingherhandtoMissHavisham，wasescortedforth。SarahPocketandGeorgianacontendedwhoshouldremainlast；but，Sarahwastooknowingtobeoutdone，andambledroundGeorgianawiththatartfulslipperiness，thatthelatterwasobligedtotakeprecedence。SarahPocketthenmadeherseparateeffectofdepartingwith`Blessyou，MissHavishamdear！'
andwithasmileofforgivingpityonherwalnut-shellcountenancefortheweaknessesoftherest。
WhileEstellawasawaylightingthemdown，MissHavishamstillwalkedwithherhandonmyshoulder，butmoreandmoreslowly。Atlastshestoppedbeforethefire，andsaid，aftermutteringandlookingatitsomeseconds:
`Thisismybirthday，Pip。'
Iwasgoingtowishhermanyhappyreturns，whensheliftedherstick。
`Idon'tsufferittobespokenof。Idon'tsufferthosewhowereherejustnow，oranyone，tospeakofit。Theycomehereontheday，buttheydarenotrefertoit。'
OfcourseImadenofurtherefforttorefertoit。
`Onthisdayoftheyear，longbeforeyouwereborn，thisheapofdecay，'
stabbingwithhercrutchedstickatthepileofcobwebsonthetablebutnottouchingit，`wasbroughthere。ItandIhavewornawaytogether。Themicehavegnawedatit，andsharperteeththanteethofmicehavegnawedatme。'
Sheheldtheheadofherstickagainstherheartasshestoodlookingatthetable；sheinheroncewhitedress，allyellowandwithered；theoncewhiteclothallyellowandwithered；everythingaround，inastatetocrumbleunderatouch。
`Whentheruiniscomplete，'saidshe，withaghastlylook，`andwhentheylaymedead，inmybride'sdressonthebride'stable-whichshallbedone，andwhichwillbethefinishedcurseuponhim-somuchthebetterifitisdoneonthisday！'
Shestoodlookingatthetableasifshestoodlookingatherownfigurelyingthere。Iremainedquiet。Estellareturned，andshetooremainedquiet。
Itseemedtomethatwecontinuedthusforalongtime。Intheheavyairoftheroom，andtheheavydarknessthatbroodedinitsremotercorners，IevenhadanalarmingfancythatEstellaandImightpresentlybegintodecay。
Atlength，notcomingoutofherdistraughtstatebydegrees，butinaninstant，MissHavishamsaid，`Letmeseeyoutwoplaycards；whyhaveyounotbegun？'Withthat，wereturnedtoherroom，andsatdownasbefore；
Iwasbeggared，asbefore；andagain，asbefore，MissHavishamwatchedusallthetime，directedmyattentiontoEstella'sbeauty，andmademenoticeitthemorebytryingherjewelsonEstella'sbreastandhair。
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