Chapter1
MYfather'sfamilynamebeingPirrip，andmychristiannamePhilip，myinfanttonguecouldmakeofbothnamesnothinglongerormoreexplicitthanPip。So，IcalledmyselfPip，andcametobecalledPip。
IgivePirripasmyfather'sfamilyname，ontheauthorityofhistombstoneandmysister-MrsJoeGargery，whomarriedtheblacksmith。AsIneversawmyfatherormymother，andneversawanylikenessofeitherofthem(fortheirdayswerelongbeforethedaysofphotographs)，myfirstfanciesregardingwhattheywerelike，wereunreasonablyderivedfromtheirtombstones。
Theshapeofthelettersonmyfather's，gavemeanoddideathathewasasquare，stout，darkman，withcurlyblackhair。Fromthecharacterandturnoftheinscription，`AlsoGeorgianaWifeoftheAbove，'Idrewachildishconclusionthatmymotherwasfreckledandsickly。Tofivelittlestonelozenges，eachaboutafootandahalflong，whichwerearrangedinaneatrowbesidetheirgrave，andweresacredtothememoryoffivelittlebrothersofmine-whogaveuptryingtogetaliving，exceedinglyearlyinthatuniversalstruggle-IamindebtedforabeliefIreligiouslyentertainedthattheyhadallbeenbornontheirbackswiththeirhandsintheirtrousers-pockets，andhadnevertakenthemoutinthisstateofexistence。
Ourswasthemarshcountry，downbytheriver，within，astheriverwound，twentymilesofthesea。Myfirstmostvividandbroadimpressionoftheidentityofthings，seemstometohavebeengainedonamemorablerawafternoontowardsevening。AtsuchatimeIfoundoutforcertain，thatthisbleakplaceovergrownwithnettleswasthechurchyard；andthatPhilipPirrip，lateofthisparish，andalsoGeorgianawifeoftheabove，weredeadandburied；andthatAlexander，Bartholomew，Abraham，Tobias，andRoger，infantchildrenoftheaforesaid，werealsodeadandburied；
andthatthedarkflatwildernessbeyondthechurchyard，intersectedwithdykesandmoundsandgates，withscatteredcattlefeedingonit，wasthemarshes；andthatthelowleadenlinebeyond，wastheriver；andthatthedistantsavagelairfromwhichthewindwasrushing，wasthesea；andthatthesmallbundleofshiversgrowingafraidofitallandbeginningtocry，wasPip。
`Holdyournoise！'criedaterriblevoice，asamanstartedupfromamongthegravesatthesideofthechurchporch。`Keepstill，youlittledevil，orI'llcutyourthroat！'
Afearfulman，allincoarsegrey，withagreatirononhisleg。Amanwithnohat，andwithbrokenshoes，andwithanoldragtiedroundhishead。Amanwhohadbeensoakedinwater，andsmotheredinmud，andlamedbystones，andcutbyflints，andstungbynettles，andtornbybriars；
wholimped，andshivered，andglaredandgrowled；andwhoseteethchatteredinhisheadasheseizedmebythechin。
`O！Don'tcutmythroat，sir，'Ipleadedinterror。`Praydon'tdoit，sir。'
`Tellusyourname！'saidtheman。`Quick！'
`Pip，sir。'
`Oncemore，'saidtheman，staringatme。`Giveitmouth！'
`Pip。Pip，sir。'
`Showuswhereyoulive，'saidtheman。`Pintouttheplace！'
Ipointedtowhereourvillagelay，ontheflatin-shoreamongthealder-treesandpollards，amileormorefromthechurch。
Theman，afterlookingatmeforamoment，turnedmeupsidedown，andemptiedmypockets。Therewasnothinginthembutapieceofbread。Whenthechurchcametoitself-forhewassosuddenandstrongthathemadeitgoheadoverheelsbeforeme，andIsawthesteepleundermyfeet-
whenthechurchcametoitself，Isay，Iwasseatedonahightombstone，trembling，whileheatethebreadravenously。
`Youyoungdog，'saidtheman，lickinghislips，`whatfatcheeksyouha'got。'
Ibelievetheywerefat，thoughIwasatthattimeundersizedformyyears，andnotstrong。
`DarnMeifIcouldn'teatem，'saidtheman，withathreateningshakeofhishead，`andifIhan'thalfamindto't！'
Iearnestlyexpressedmyhopethathewouldn't，andheldtightertothetombstoneonwhichhehadputme；partly，tokeepmyselfuponit；partly，tokeepmyselffromcrying。
`Nowlookeehere！'saidtheman。`Where'syourmother？'
`There，sir！'saidI。
Hestarted，madeashortrun，andstoppedandlookedoverhisshoulder。
`There，sir！'Itimidlyexplained。`AlsoGeorgiana。That'smymother。'
`Oh！'saidhe，comingback。`Andisthatyourfatheralongeryourmother？'
`Yes，sir，'saidI；`himtoo；lateofthisparish。'
`Ha！'hemutteredthen，considering。`Whod'yelivewith-supposin'
you'rekindlylettolive，whichIhan'tmadeupmymindabout？'
`Mysister，sir-MrsJoeGargery-wifeofJoeGargery，theblacksmith，sir。'
`Blacksmith，eh？'saidhe。Andlookeddownathisleg。
Afterdarklylookingathislegandmeseveraltimes，hecameclosertomytombstone，tookmebybotharms，andtiltedmebackasfarashecouldholdme；sothathiseyeslookedmostpowerfullydownintomine，andminelookedmosthelplesslyupintohis。
`Nowlookeehere，'hesaid，`thequestionbeingwhetheryou'retobelettolive。Youknowwhatafileis？'
`Yes，sir。'
`Andyouknowwhatwittlesis？'
`Yes，sir。'
Aftereachquestionhetitledmeoveralittlemore，soastogivemeagreatersenseofhelplessnessanddanger。
`Yougetmeafile。'Hetiltedmeagain。`Andyougetmewittles。'Hetiltedmeagain。`Youbring'embothtome。'Hetiltedmeagain。`OrI'llhaveyourheartandliverout。'Hetiltedmeagain。
Iwasdreadfullyfrightened，andsogiddythatIclungtohimwithbothhands，andsaid，`Ifyouwouldkindlypleasetoletmekeepupright，sir，perhapsIshouldn'tbesick，andperhapsIcouldattendmore。'
Hegavemeamosttremendousdipandroll，sothatthechurchjumpedoveritsownweather-cock。Then，heheldmebythearms，inanuprightpositiononthetopofthestone，andwentoninthesefearfulterms:
`Youbringme，to-morrowmorningearly，thatfileandthemwittles。
Youbringthelottome，atthatoldBatteryoveryonder。Youdoit，andyouneverdaretosayawordordaretomakeasignconcerningyourhavingseensuchapersonasme，oranypersonsumever，andyoushallbelettolive。Youfail，oryougofrommywordsinanypartickler，nomatterhowsmallitis，andyourheartandyourlivershallbetoreout，roastedandate。Now，Iain'talone，asyoumaythinkIam。There'sayoungmanhidwithme，incomparisonwithwhichyoungmanIamaAngel。ThatyoungmanhearsthewordsIspeak。Thatyoungmanhasasecretwaypecooliartohimself，ofgettingataboy，andathisheart，andathisliver。Itisinwainforaboytoattempttohidehimselffromthatyoungman。Aboymaylockhisdoor，maybewarminbed，maytuckhimselfup，maydrawtheclothesoverhishead，maythinkhimselfcomfortableandsafe，butthatyoungmanwillsoftlycreepandcreephiswaytohimandtearhimopen。Iamakeepingthatyoungmanfromharmingofyouatthepresentmoment，withgreatdifficulty。
Ifinditweryhardtoholdthatyoungmanoffofyourinside。Now，whatdoyousay？'
IsaidthatIwouldgethimthefile，andIwouldgethimwhatbrokenbitsoffoodIcould，andIwouldcometohimattheBattery，earlyinthemorning。
`SayLordstrikeyoudeadifyoudon't！'saidtheman。
Isaidso，andhetookmedown。
`Now，'hepursued，`yourememberwhatyou'veundertook，andyourememberthatyoungman，andyougethome！'
`Goo-goodnight，sir，'Ifaltered。
`Muchofthat！'saidhe，glancingabouthimoverthecoldwetflat。
`IwishIwasafrog。Oraeel！'
Atthesametime，hehuggedhisshudderingbodyinbothhisarms-claspinghimself，asiftoholdhimselftogether-andlimpedtowardsthelowchurchwall。AsIsawhimgo，pickinghiswayamongthenettles，andamongthebramblesthatboundthegreenmounds，helookedinmyyoungeyesasifhewereeludingthehandsofthedeadpeople，stretchingupcautiouslyoutoftheirgraves，togetatwistuponhisankleandpullhimin。
Whenhecametothelowchurchwall，hegotoverit，likeamanwhoselegswerenumbedandstiff，andthenturnedroundtolookforme。WhenIsawhimturning，Isetmyfacetowardshome，andmadethebestuseofmylegs。ButpresentlyIlookedovermyshoulder，andsawhimgoingonagaintowardstheriver，stillhugginghimselfinbotharms，andpickinghiswaywithhissorefeetamongthegreatstonesdroppedintothemarsheshereandthere，forstepping-placeswhentherainswereheavy，orthetidewasin。
Themarsheswerejustalongblackhorizontallinethen，asIstoppedtolookafterhim；andtheriverwasjustanotherhorizontalline，notnearlysobroadnotyetsoblack；andtheskywasjustarowoflongangryredlinesanddenseblacklinesintermixed。OntheedgeoftheriverI
couldfaintlymakeouttheonlytwoblackthingsinalltheprospectthatseemedtobestandingupright；oneofthesewasthebeaconbywhichthesailorssteered-likeanunhoopedcaskuponapole-anuglythingwhenyouwerenearit；theotheragibbet，withsomechainshangingtoitwhichhadonceheldapirate。Themanwaslimpingontowardsthislatter，asifhewerethepiratecometolife，andcomedown，andgoingbacktohookhimselfupagain。IfgavemeaterribleturnwhenIthoughtso；andasIsawthecattleliftingtheirheadstogazeafterhim，Iwonderedwhethertheythoughtsotoo。Ilookedallroundforthehorribleyoungman，andcouldseenosingsofhim。But，nowIwasfrightenedagain，andranhomewithoutstopping。
Chapter2
MYsister，MrsJoeGargery，wasmorethantwentyyearsolderthanI，andhadestablishedagreatreputationwithherselfandtheneighboursbecauseshehadbroughtmeup`byhand'。Havingatthattimetofindoutformyselfwhattheexpressionmeant，andknowinghertohaveahardandheavyhand，andtobemuchinthehabitoflayingituponherhusbandaswellasuponme，IsupposedthatJoeGargeryandIwerebothbroughtupbyhand。
Shewasnotagood-lookingwoman，mysister；andIhadageneralimpressionthatshemusthavemadeJoeGargerymarryherbyhand。Joewasafairman，withcurlsofflaxenhaironeachsideofhissmoothface，andwitheyesofsuchaveryundecidedbluethattheyseemedtohavesomehowgotmixedwiththeirownwhites。Hewasamild，good-natured，sweet-tempered，easy-going，foolish，dearfellow-asortofHerculesinstrength，andalsoinweakness。
Mysister，MrsJoe，withblackhairandeyes，hadsuchaprevailingrednessofskinthatIsometimesusedtowonderwhetheritwaspossibleshewashedherselfwithanutmeg-graterinsteadofsoap。Shewastallandbony，andalmostalwaysworeacoarseapron，fastenedoverherfigurebehindwithtwoloops，andhavingasquareimpregnablebibinfront，thatwasstuckfullofpinsandneedles。Shemadeitapowerfulmeritinherself，andastrongreproachagainstJoe，thatsheworethisapronsomuch。ThoughIreallyseenoreasonwhysheshouldhavewornitatall:orwhy，ifshedidwearitatall，sheshouldnothavetakenitoff，everydayofherlife。
Joe'sforgeadjoinedourhouse，whichwasawoodenhouse，asmanyofthedwellingsinourcountrywere-mostofthem，atthattime。WhenI
ranhomefromthechurchyard，theforgewasshutup，andJoewassittingaloneinthekitchen。JoeandIbeingfellow-sufferers，andhavingconfidencesassuch，Joeimpartedaconfidencetome，themomentIraisedthelatchofthedoorandpeepedinathimoppositetoit，sittinginthechimneycorner。
`MrsJoehasbeenoutadozentimes，lookingforyou，Pip。Andshe'soutnow，makingitabaker'sdozen。'
`Isshe？'
`Yes，Pip，'saidJoe；`andwhat'sworse，she'sgotTicklerwithher。'
Atthisdismalintelligence，Itwistedtheonlybuttononmywaistcoatroundandround，andlookedingreatdepressionatthefire。Ticklerwasawax-endedpieceofcane，wornsmoothbycollisionwithmytickledframe。
`Shesotdown，'saidJoe，`andshegotup，andshemadeagrabatTickler，andsheRam-pagedout。That'swhatshedid，'saidJoe，slowlyclearingthefirebetweenthelowerbarswiththepoker，andlookingatit:`sheRam-pagedout，Pip。'
`Hasshebeengonelong，Joe？'Ialwaystreatedhimasalargerspeciesofchild，andasnomorethanmyequal。
`Well，'saidJoe，glancingupattheDutchclock，`she'sbeenontheRam-page，thislastspell，aboutfiveminutes，Pip。She'sacoming！Getbehindthedoor，oldchap，andhavethejack-towelbetwixtyou。'
Itooktheadvice。Mysister，MrsJoe，throwingthedoorwideopen，andfindinganobstructionbehindit，immediatelydivinedthecause，andappliedTicklertoitsfurtherinvestigation。Sheconcludedbythrowingme-Ioftenservedasaconnubialmissile-atJoe，who，gladtogetholdofmeonanyterms，passedmeonintothechimneyandquietlyfencedmeuptherewithhisgreatleg。
`Wherehaveyoubeen，youyoungmonkey？'saidMrsJoe，stampingherfoot。`Tellmedirectlywhatyou'vebeendoingtowearmeawaywithfretandfrightandworrit，orI'dhaveyououtofthatcornerifyouwasfiftyPips，andhewasfivehundredGargerys。'
`Ihaveonlybeentothechurchyard，'saidI，frommystool，cryingandrubbingmyself。
`Churchyard！'repeatedmysister。`Ifitwarn'tformeyou'dhavebeentothechurchyardlongago，andstayedthere。Whobroughtyouupbyhand？'
`Youdid，'saidI。
`AndwhydidIdoit，Ishouldliketoknow？'exclaimedmysister。
Iwhimpered，`Idon'tknow。'
`Idon't！saidmysister。`I'dneverdoitagain！Iknowthat。
ImaytrulysayI'veneverhadthisapronofmineoff，sincebornyouwere。
It'sbadenoughtobeablacksmith'swife(andhimaGargery)withoutbeingyourmother。'
MythoughtsstrayedfromthatquestionasIlookeddisconsolatelyatthefire。For，thefugitiveoutonthemarsheswiththeironedleg，themysteriousyoungman，thefile，thefood，andthedreadfulpledgeIwasundertocommitalarcenyonthoseshelteringpremises，rosebeforemeintheavengingcoals。
`Hah！'saidMrsJoe，restoringTicklertohisstation。`Churchyard，indeed！Youmaywellsaychurchyard，youtwo。'Oneofus，by-the-bye，hadnotsaiditatall。`You'lldrivemetothechurchyardbetwixtyou，oneofthesedays，andoh，apr-r-reciouspairyou'dbewithoutme！'
Assheappliedherselftosetthetea-things，Joepeepeddownatmeoverhisleg，asifhewerementallycastingmeandhimselfup，andcalculatingwhatkindofpairwepracticallyshouldmake，underthegrievouscircumstancesforeshadowed。Afterthat，hesatfeelinghisright-sideflaxencurlsandwhisker，andfollowingMrsJoeaboutwithhisblueeyes，ashismanneralwayswasatsquallytimes。
Mysisterhadatrenchantwayofcuttingourbread-and-butterforus，thatnevervaried。First，withherlefthandshejammedtheloafhardandfastagainstherbib-whereitsometimesgotapinintoit，andsometimesaneedle，whichweafterwardsgotintoourmouths。Thenshetooksomebutter(nottoomuch)onaknifeandspreaditontheloaf，inanapothecarykindofway，asifsheweremakingaplaister-usingbothsidesoftheknifewithaslappingdexterity，andtrimmingandmouldingthebutteroffroundthecrust。Then，shegavetheknifeafinalsmartwipeontheedgeoftheplaister，andthensawedaverythickroundofftheloaf:whichshefinally，beforeseparatingfromtheloaf，hewedintotwohalves，ofwhichJoegotone，andItheother。
Onthepresentoccasion，thoughIwashungry，Idarednoteatmyslice。
IfeltthatImusthavesomethinginreserveformydreadfulacquaintance，andhisallythestillmoredreadfulyoungman。IknewMrs。Joe'shousekeepingtobeofthestrictestkind，andthatmylarcenousresearchesmightfindnothingavailableinthesafe。ThereforeIresolvedtoputmyhunkofbread-and-butterdownthelegofmytrousers。
Theeffortofresolutionnecessarytotheachievementofthispurpose，Ifoundtobequiteawful。ItwasasifIhadtomakeupmymindtoleapfromthetopofahighhouse，orplungeintoagreatdepthofwater。AnditwasmadethemoredifficultbytheunconsciousJoe。Inouralready-mentionedfreemasonryasfellow-sufferers，andinhisgood-naturedcompanionshipwithme，itwasoureveninghabittocomparethewaywebitthroughoutslices，bysilentlyholdingthemuptoeachother'sadmirationnowandthen-whichstimulatedustonewexertions。To-night，Joeseveraltimesinvitedme，bythedisplayofhisfast-diminishingslice，toenteruponourusualfriendlycompetition；buthefoundme，eachtime，withmyyellowmugofteaononeknee，andmyuntouchedbread-and-butterontheother。
Atlast，IdesperatelyconsideredthatthethingIcontemplatedmustbedone，andthatithadbestbedoneintheleastimprobablemannerconsistentwiththecircumstances。ItookadvantageofamomentwhenJoehadjustlookedatme，andgotmybread-and-butterdownmyleg。
Joewasevidentlymadeuncomfortablebywhathesupposedtobemylossofappetite，andtookathoughtfulbiteoutofhisslice，whichhedidn'tseemtoenjoy。Heturneditaboutinhismouthmuchlongerthanusual，ponderingoveritagooddeal，andafterallgulpeditdownlikeapill。
Hewasabouttotakeanotherbite，andhadjustgothisheadononesideforagoodpurchaseonit，whenhiseyefellonme，andhesawthatmybread-and-butterwasgone。
ThewonderandconsternationwithwhichJoestoppedonthethresholdofhisbiteandstaredatme，weretooevidenttoescapemysister'sobservation。
`What'sthematternow？'saidshe，smartly，assheputdownhercup。
`Isay，youknow！'mutteredJoe，shakinghisheadatmeinveryseriousremonstrance。`Pip，oldchap！You'lldoyourselfamischief。It'llsticksomewhere。Youcan'thavechawedit，Pip。'
`What'sthematternow？'repeatedmysister，moresharplythanbefore。
`Ifyoucancoughanytrifleonitup，Pip，I'drecommendyoutodoit，'saidJoe，allaghast。`Mannersismanners，butstillyourelth'syourelth。'
Bythistime，mysisterwasquitedesperate，soshepouncedonJoe，and，takinghimbythetwowhiskers，knockedhisheadforalittlewhileagainstthewallbehindhim:whileIsatinthecorner，lookingguiltilyon。
`Now，perhapsyou'llmentionwhat'sthematter，'saidmysister，outofbreath，`youstaringgreatstuckpig。'
Joelookedatherinahelplessway；thentookahelplessbite，andlookedatmeagain。
`Youknow，Pip，'saidJoe，solemnly，withhislastbiteinhischeekandspeakinginaconfidentialvoice，asifwetwowerequitealone，`youandmeisalwaysfriends，andI'dbethelasttotelluponyou，anytime。
Butsucha——'hemovedhischairandlookedaboutthefloorbetweenus，andthenagainatme-`suchamostoncommonBoltasthat！'
`Beenboltinghisfood，hashe？'criedmysister。
`Youknow，oldchap，'saidJoe，lookingatme，andnotatMrsJoe，withhisbitestillinhischeek，`IBolted，myself，whenIwasyourage-frequent-andasaboyI'vebeenamongamanyBolters；butIneverseeyourBoltingequalyet，Pip，andit'samercyyouain'tBolteddead。'
Mysistermadeadiveatme，andfishedmeupbythehair:sayingnothingmorethantheawfulwords，`Youcomealongandbedosed。'
SomemedicalbeasthadrevivedTar-waterinthosedaysasafinemedicine，andMrsJoealwayskeptasupplyofitinthecupboard；havingabeliefinitsvirtuescorrespondenttoitsnastiness。Atthebestoftimes，somuchofthiselixirwasadministeredtomeasachoicerestorative，thatIwasconsciousofgoingabout，smellinglikeanewfence。Onthisparticulareveningtheurgencyofmycasedemandedapintofthismixture，whichwaspoureddownmythroat，formygreatercomfort，whileMrsJoeheldmyheadunderherarm，asabootwouldbeheldinaboot-jack。Joegotoffwithhalfapint；butwasmadetoswallowthat(muchtohisdisturbance，ashesatslowlymunchingandmeditatingbeforethefire)，`becausehehadaturn。'Judgingfrommyself，Ishouldsayhecertainlyhadaturnafterwards，ifhehadhadnonebefore。
Conscienceisadreadfulthingwhenitaccusesmanorboy；butwhen，inthecaseofaboy，thatsecretburdenco-operateswithanothersecretburdendownthelegofhistrousers，itis(asIcantestify)agreatpunishment。
TheguiltyknowledgethatIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe-IneverthoughtIwasgoingtorobJoe，forIneverthoughtofanyofthehousekeepingpropertyashis-unitedtothenecessityofalwayskeepingonehandonmybread-and-butterasIsat，orwhenIwasorderedaboutthekitchenonanysmallerrand，almostdrovemeoutofmymind。Then，asthemarshwindsmadethefireglowandflare，IthoughtIheardthevoiceoutside，ofthemanwiththeirononhislegwhohadswornmetosecrecy，declaringthathecouldn'tandwouldn'tstarveuntilto-morrow，butmustbefednow。Atothertimes，Ithought，Whatiftheyoungmanwhowaswithsomuchdifficultyrestrainedfromimbruinghishandsinme，shouldyieldtoaconstitutionalimpatience，orshouldmistakethetime，andshouldthinkhimselfaccreditedtomyheartandliverto-night，insteadofto-morrow！Ifeveranybody'shairstoodonendwithterror，minemusthavedonesothen。But，perhaps，nobody'severdid？
IwasChristmasEve，andIhadtostirthepuddingfornextday，withacopper-stick，fromseventoeightbytheDutchclock。Itrieditwiththeloaduponmyleg(andthatmademethinkafreshofthemanwiththeloadonhisleg)，andfoundthetendencyofexercisetobringthebread-and-butteroutatmyankle，quiteunmanageable。Happily，Islippedaway，anddepositedthatpartofmyconscienceinmygarretbedroom。
`Hark！'saidI，whenIhaddonemystirring，andwastakingafinalwarminthechimneycornerbeforebeingsentuptobed；`wasthatgreatguns，Joe？'
`Ah！'saidJoe。`There'sanotherconwictoff。'
`Whatdoesthatmean，Joe？'saidI。
MrsJoe，whoalwaystookexplanationsuponherself，said，snappishly，`Escaped。Escaped。'AdministeringthedefinitionlikeTar-water。
WhileMrsJoesatwithherheadbendingoverherneedlework，IputmymouthintotheformsofsayingtoJoe，`What'saconvict？'Joeputhismouthintotheformsofreturningsuchahighlyelaborateanswer，thatIcouldmakeoutnothingofitbutthesingleword`Pip。'
`Therewasaconwictofflastnight，'saidJoe，aloud，`aftersun-set-gun。
Andtheyfiredwarningofhim。Andnow，itappearsthey'refiringwarningofanother。'
`Who'sfiring？'saidI。
`Dratthatboy，'interposedmysister，frowningatmeoverherwork，`whataquestionerheis。Asknoquestions，andyou'llbetoldnolies。'
Iwasnotverypolitetoherself，Ithought，toimplythatIshouldbetoldliesbyher，evenifIdidaskquestions。Butsheneverwaspolite，unlesstherewascompany。
Atthispoint，Joegreatlyaugmentedmycuriositybytakingtheutmostpainstoopenhismouthverywide，andtoputitintotheformofawordthatlookedtomelike`sulks。'Therefore，InaturallypointedtoMrsJoe，andputmymouthintotheformofsaying`her？'ButJoewouldn'thearofthat，atall，andagainopenedhismouthverywide，andshooktheformofamostemphaticwordoutofit。ButIcouldmakenothingoftheword。
`MrsJoe，'saidI，asalastresource，`Ishouldliketoknow-ifyouwouldn'tmuchmind-wherethefiringcomesfrom？'
`Lordblesstheboy！'exclaimedmysister，asifshedidn'tquitemeanthat，butratherthecontrary。`FromtheHulks！'
`Oh-h！'saidI，lookingatJoe。`Hulks！'
Joegaveareproachfulcough，asmuchastosay，`Well，Itoldyouso。'
`Andpleasewhat'sHulks？'saidI。
`That'sthewaywiththisboy！'exclaimedmysister，pointingmeoutwithherneedleandthread，andshakingherheadatme。`Answerhimonequestion，andhe'llaskyouadozendirectly。Hulksareprison-ships，right'crossth'meshes。'Wealwaysusedthatnameformarshes，inourcountry。
`Iwonderwho'sputintoprison-ships，andwhythey'reputthere？'saidI，inageneralway，andwithquietdesperation。
ItwastoomuchforMrsJoe，whoimmediatelyrose。`Itellyouwhat，youngfellow，'saidshe，`Ididn'tbringyouupbyhandtobadgerpeople'slivesout。Itwouldbeblametome，andnotpraise，ifIhad。PeopleareputintheHulksbecausetheymurder，andbecausetheyrob，andforge，anddoallsortsofbad；andtheyalwaysbeginbyaskingquestions。Now，yougetalongtobed！'
Iwasneverallowedacandletolightmetobed，and，asIwentupstairsinthedark，withmyheadtingling-fromMrsJoe'sthimblehavingplayedthetambourineuponit，toaccompanyherlastwords-IfeltfearfullysensibleofthegreatconveniencethattheHulkswerehandyforme。Iwasclearlyonmywaythere。Ihadbegunbyaskingquestions，andIwasgoingtorobMrsJoe。
Sincethattime，whichisfarenoughawaynow，Ihaveoftenthoughtthatfewpeopleknowwhatsecrecythereisintheyoung，underterror。
Nomatterhowunreasonabletheterror，sothatitbeterror。Iwasinmortalterroroftheyoungmanwhowantedmyheartandliver；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyinterlocutorwiththeironedleg；Iwasinmortalterrorofmyself，fromwhomanawfulpromisehadbeenextracted；Ihadnohopeofdeliverancethroughmyall-powerfulsister，whorepulsedmeateveryturn；
IamafraidtothinkofwhatImighthavedone，onrequirement，inthesecrecyofmyterror。
IfIsleptatallthatnight，itwasonlytoimaginemyselfdriftingdowntheriveronastrongspring-tide，totheHulks；aghostlypiratecallingouttomethroughaspeaking-trumpet，asIpassedthegibbet-station，thatIhadbettercomeashoreandbehangedthereatonce，andnotputitoff。Iwasafraidtosleep，evenifIhadbeeninclined，forIknewthatatthefirstfaintdawnofmorningImustrobthepantry。Therewasnodoingitinthenight，fortherewasnogettingalightbyeasyfrictionthen；tohavegotone，Imusthavestruckitoutofflintandsteel，andhavemadeanoiseliketheverypiratehimselfrattlinghischains。
Assoonasthegreatblackvelvetpalloutsidemylittlewindowwasshotwithgrey，Igotupandwentdownstairs；everyboardupontheway，andeverycrackineveryboard，callingafterme，`Stopthief！'and`Getup，MrsJoe！'Inthepantry，whichwasfarmoreabundantlysuppliedthanusual，owingtotheseason，Iwasverymuchalarmed，byaharehangingupbytheheels，whomIratherthoughtIcaught，whenmybackwashalfturned，winking。Ihadnotimeforverification，notimeforselection，notimeforanything，forIhadnotimetospare。Istolesomebread，somerindofcheese，abouthalfajarofmincemeat(whichItiedupinmypocket-handkerchiefwithmylastnight'sslice)，somebrandyfromastonebottle(whichIdecantedintoaglassbottleIhadsecretlyusedformakingthatintoxicatingfluid，Spanish-liquorice-water，upinmyroom:dilutingthestonebottlefromajuginthekitchencupboard)，ameatbonewithverylittleonit，andabeautifulroundcompactporkpie。Iwasnearlygoingawaywithoutthepie，butIwastemptedtomountuponashelf，tolookwhatitwasthatwasputawaysocarefullyinacoveredearthenwaredishinacorner，andIfounditwasthepie，andItookit，inthehopethatitwasnotintendedforearlyuse，andwouldnotbemissedforsometime。
Therewasadoorinthekitchen，communicatingwiththeforge；Iunlockedandunboltedthatdoor，andgotafilefromamongJoe'stools。Then，I
putthefasteningsasIhadfoundthem，openedthedooratwhichIhadenteredwhenIranhomelastnight，shutit，andranforthemistymarshes。
Chapter3
ITwasarimymorning，andverydamp。Ihadseenthedamplyingontheoutsideofmylittlewindow，asifsomegoblinhadbeencryingthereallnight，andusingthewindowforapocket-handkerchief。Now，Isawthedamplyingonthebarehedgesandsparegrass，likeacoarsersortofspiders'
webs；hangingitselffromtwigtotwigandbladetoblade。Oneveryrailandgate，wetlayclammy；andthemarsh-mistwassothick，thatthewoodenfingeronthepostdirectingpeopletoourvillage-adirectionwhichtheyneveraccepted，fortheynevercamethere-wasinvisibletomeuntilIwasquitecloseunderit。Then，asIlookedupatit，whileitdripped，itseemedtomyoppressedconsciencelikeaphantomdevotingmetotheHulks。
ThemistwasheavieryetwhenIgotoutuponthemarshes，sothatinsteadofmyrunningateverything，everythingseemedtorunatme。Thiswasverydisagreeabletoaguiltymind。Thegatesanddykesandbankscameburstingatmethroughthemist，asiftheycriedasplainlyascouldbe，`AboywithSomebody-else'sportpie！Stophis！'Thecattlecameuponmewithlikesuddenness，staringoutoftheireyes，andsteamingoutoftheirnostrils，`Holloa，youngthief！'Oneblackox，withawhitecravaton-whoevenhadtomyawakenedconsciencesomethingofaclericalair-fixedmesoobstinatelywithhiseyes，andmovedhisbluntheadroundinsuchanaccusatorymannerasImovedround，thatIblubberedouttohim，`Icouldn'thelpit，sir！Itwasn'tformyselfItookit！'Uponwhichheputdownhishead，blewacouldofsmokeoutofhisnose，andvanishedwithakick-upofhishind-legsandaflourishofhistail。
Allthistime，Iwasgettingontowardstheriver；buthoweverfastIwent，Icouldn'twarmmyfeet，towhichthedampcoldseemedriveted，astheironwasrivetedtothelegofthemanIwasrunningtomeet。I
knewmywaytotheBattery，prettystraight，forIhadbeendownthereonaSundaywithJoe，andJoe，sittingonanoldgun，hadtoldmethatwhenIwas'prenticetohimregularlybound，wewouldhavesuchLarksthere！
However，intheconfusionofthemist，Ifoundmyselfatlasttoofartotheright，andconsequentlyhadtotrybackalongtheriver-side，onthebankofloosestonesabovethemudandthestakesthatstakedthetideout。Makingmywayalongherewithalldespatch，IhadjustcrossedaditchwhichIknewtobeveryneartheBattery，andhadjustscrambledupthemoundbeyondtheditch，whenIsawthemansittingbeforeme。Hisbackwastowardsme，andhehadhisarmsfolded，andwasnoddingforward，heavywithsleep。
IthoughthewouldbemoregladifIcameuponhimwithhisbreakfast，inthatunexpectedmanner，soIwentforwardsoftlyandtouchedhimontheshoulder。Heinstantlyjumpedup，anditwasnotthesameman，butanotherman！
Andyetthismanwasdressedincoarsegrey，too，andhadagreatirononhisleg，andwaslame，andhoarse，andcold，andwaseverythingthattheothermanwas；exceptthathehadnotthesameface，andhadaflatbroad-brimmedlow-crownedfeltthaton。Allthis，Isawinamoment，forIhadonlyamomenttoseeitin:hesworeanoathatme，madeahitatme-itwasaroundweakblowthatmissedmeandalmostknockedhimselfdown，foritmadehimstumble-andthenheranthemist，stumblingtwiceashewent，andIlosthim。
`It'stheyoungman！'Ithought，feelingmyheartshootasIidentifiedhim。IdaresayIshouldhavefeltapaininmyliver，too，ifIhadknownwhereitwas。
IwassoonattheBattery，afterthat，andtherewastherightman-hugginghimselfandlimpingtoandfro，asifhehadneverallnightleftoffhuggingandlimping-waitingforme。Hewasawfullycold，tobesure。Ihalfexpectedtoseehimdropdownbeforemyfaceanddieofdeadlycold。Hiseyeslookedsoawfullyhungry，too，thatwhenIhandedhimthefileandhelaiditdownonthegrass，itoccurredtomehewouldhavetriedtoeatit，ifhehadnotseenmybundle。Hedidnotturnmeupsidedown，thistime，togetatwhatIhad，butleftmerightsideupwardswhileIopenedthebundleandemptiedmypockets。
`What'sinthebottle，boy？'saidhe。
`Brandy，'saidI。
Hewasalreadyhandingmincemeatdownhisthroatinthemostcuriousmanner-morelikeamanwhowasputtingitawaysomewhereinaviolenthurry，thanamanwhowaseatingit-butheleftofftotakesomeoftheliquor。Heshiveredallthewhile，soviolently，thatitwasquiteasmuchashecoulddotokeeptheneckofthebottlebetweenhisteeth，withoutbitingitoff。
`Ithinkyouhavegottheague，'saidI。
`I'mmuchofyouropinion，boy，'saidhe。
`It'sbadabouthere，'Itoldhim。`You'vebeenlyingoutonthemeshes，andthey'redreadfulaguish。Rheumatictoo。'
`I'lleatmybreakfastaforethey'rethedeathofme，'saidhe。`I'ddothat，ifIwasgoingtobestrunguptothattheregallowsasthereisoverthere，directlyafterwards。I'llbeattheshiverssofar，I'llbetyou。'
Hewasgobblingmincemeat，meatbone，bread，cheese，andporkpie，allatonce:staringdistrustfullywhilehedidsoatthemistallroundus，andoftenstopping-evenstoppinghisjaws-tolisten。Somerealorfanciedsound，someclinkupontheriverorbreathingofbeastuponthemarsh，nowgavehimastart，andhesaid，suddenly:
`You'renotadeceivingimp？Youbroughtnoonewithyou？'
`No，sir！No！'
`Norgiv'noonetheofficetofollowyou？'
`No！'
`Well，'saidhe，`Ibelieveyou。You'dbebutafierceyounghoundindeed，ifatyourtimeoflifeyoucouldhelptohuntawretchedwarmint，huntedasneardeathanddunghillasthispoorwretchedwarmintis！'
Somethingclickedinhisthroat，asifhasworksinhimlikeaclock，andwasgoingtostrike。Andhesmearedhisraggedroughsleeveoverhiseyes。
Pityinghisdesolation，andwatchinghimashegraduallysettleddownuponthepie，Imadeboldtosay，`Iamgladyouenjoyit。'
`Didyouspeak？'
`IsaidIwasgladyouenjoyedit。'
`Thankee，myboy。Ido。'
Ihadoftenwatchedalargedogofourseatinghisfood；andInownoticedadecidedsimilaritybetweenthedog'swayofeating，andtheman's。Themantookstrongsharpsuddenbites，justlikethedog。Heswallowed，orrathersnappedup，everymouthful，toosoonandtoofast；andhelookedsidewayshereandtherewhileheate，asifhethoughttherewasdangerineverydirection，ofsomebody'scomingtotakethepieaway。Hewasaltogethertoounsettledinhismindoverit，toappreciateitcomfortably，Ithought，ortohaveanybodytodinewithhim，withoutmakingachopwithhisjawsatthevisitor。Inallofwhichparticularshewasverylikethedog。
`Iamafraidyouwon'tleaveanyofitforhim，'saidI，timidly；afterasilenceduringwhichIhadhesitatedastothepolitenessofmakingtheremark。`There'snomoretobegotwherethatcamefrom。'Itwasthecertaintyofthisfactthatimpelledmetoofferthehint。
`Leaveanyforhim？Who'shim？'saidmyfriend，stoppinginhiscrunchingofpie-crust。
`Theyoungman。Thatyouspokeof。Thatwashidwithyou。'
`Ohah！'hereturned，withsomethinglikeagrufflaugh。`Him？Yes，yes！Hedon'twantnowittles。'
`Ithoughthelookedasifhedid，'saidI。
Themanstoppedeating，andregardedmewiththekeenestscrutinyandthegreatestsurprise。
`Looked？When？'
`Justnow。'
`Where？'
`Yonder，'saidI，pointing；`overthere，whereIfoundhimnoddingasleep，andthoughtitwasyou。'
Heheldmebythecollarandstaredatmeso，thatIbegantothinkhisfirstideaaboutcuttingmythroathadrevived。
`Dressedlikeyou，youknow，onlywithahat，'Iexplained，trembling；
`and-and'-Iwasveryanxioustoputthisdelicately-`andwith-thesamereasonforwantingtoborrowafile。Didn'tyouhearthecannonlastnight？'
`Then，therewasfiring！'hesaidtohimself。
`Iwonderyoushouldn'thavebeensureofthat，'Ireturned，`forwehearditupathome，andthat'sfurtheraway，andwewereshutinbesides。'
`Why，seenow！'saidhe。`Whenaman'saloneontheseflats，withalightheadandalightstomach，perishingofcoldandwant，hehearsnothin'
allnight，butgunsfiring，andvoicescalling。Hears？Heseesthesoldiers，withtheirredcoatslightedupbythetorchescarriedafore，closinginroundhim。Hearshisnumbercalled，hearshimselfchallenged，hearstherattleofthemuskets，hearstheorders"""Makeready！Present！Coverhimsteady，men！"andislaidhandson-andthere'snothin'！Why，ifIseeonepursuingpartylastnight-comingupinorder，Damn'em，withtheirtramp，tramp-Iseeahundred。Andastofiring！Why，Iseethemistshakewiththecannon，arteritwasbroadday-Butthisman；'hehadsaidalltherest，asifhehadforgottenmybeingthere；`didyounoticeanythinginhim？'
`Hehadabadlybruisedface，'saidI，recallingwhatIhardlyknewIknew。
`Nothere？'exclaimedtheman，strikinghisleftcheekmercilessly，withtheflatofhishand。
`Yes，there！'
`Whereishe？'Hecrammedwhatlittlefoodwasleft，intothebreastofhisgreyjacket。`Showmethewayhewent。I'llpullhimdown，likeabloodhound。Cursethisirononmysoreleg！Giveusholdofthefile，boy。'
Iindicatedinwhatdirectionthemisthadshroudedtheotherman，andhelookedupatitforaninstant。Buthewasdownontherankwetgrass，filingathisironlikeamadman，andnotmindingmeormindinghisownleg，whichhasanoldchafeuponitandwasbloody，butwhichhehandledasroughlyasifithadnomorefeelinginitthanthefile。Iwasverymuchafraidofhimagain，nowthathehadworkedhimselfintothisfiercehurry，andIwaslikewiseverymuchafraidofkeepingawayfromhomeanylonger。ItoldhimImustgo，buthetooknonotice，soIthoughtthebestthingIcoulddowastoslipoff。ThelastIsawofhim，hisheadwasbentoverhiskneeandhewasworkinghardathisfetter，mutteringimpatientimprecationsatitandathisleg。ThelastIheardofhim，Istoppedinthemisttolisten，andthefilewasstillgoing。
Chapter4
IFULLYexpectedtofindaConstableinthekitchen，waitingtotakemeup。ButnotonlywastherenoConstablethere，butnodiscoveryhadyetbeenmadeoftherobbery。MrsJoewasprodigiouslybusyingettingthehousereadyforthefestivitiesoftheday，andJoehadbeenputuponthekitchendoor-steptokeephimoutofthedust-pan-anarticleintowhichhisdestinyalwaysledhimsoonerorlater，whenmysisterwasvigorouslyreapingthefloorsofherestablishment。
`Andwherethedeuceha'youbeen？'wasMrsJoe'sChristmassalutation，whenIandmyconscienceshowedourselves。
IsaidIhadbeendowntoheartheCarols。`Ah！well！'observedMrsJoe。`Youmightha'doneworse。'Notadoubtofthat，Ithought。
`PerhapsifIwarn'tablacksmith'swife，and(what'sthesamething)
aslavewithherapronneveroff，IshouldhavebeentoheartheCarols，'saidMrsJoe。`I'amratherpartialtoCarols，myself，andthat'sthebestofreasonsformyneverhearingany。'
Joe，whohadventuredintothekitchenaftermeasthedust-panhadretiredbeforeus，drewthebackofhishandacrosshisnosewithaconciliatoryairwhenMrsJoedartedalookathim，and，whenhereyeswerewithdrawn，secretlycrossedhistwoforefingers，andexhibitedthemtome，asourtokenthatMrsJoewasinacrosstemper。Thiswassomuchhernormalstate，thatJoeandIwouldoften，forweekstogether，be，astoourfingers，likemonumentalCrusadersastotheirlegs。
Weweretohaveasuperbdinner，consistingofalegofpickledporkandgreens，andapairofroaststuffedfowls。Ahandsomemince-piehadbeenmadeyesterdaymorning(whichaccountedforthemincemeatnotbeingmissed)，andthepuddingwasalreadyontheboil。Theseextensivearrangementsoccasionedustobecutoffunceremoniouslyinrespectofbreakfast；`forIan't，'saidMrsJoe，`Ian'tagoingtohavenoformalcrammingandbustingandwashingupnow，withwhatI'vegotbeforeme，Ipromiseyou！'
So，wehadourslicesservedout，asifweweretwothousandtroopsonaforcedmarchinsteadofamanandboyathome；andwetookgulpsofmilkandwater，withapologeticcountenances，fromajugonthedresser。
Inthemeantime，MrsJoeputcleanwhitecurtainsup，andtackedanewflowered-flounceacrossthewidechimneytoreplacetheoldone，anduncoveredthelittlestateparlouracrossthepassage，whichwasneveruncoveredatanyothertime，butpassedtherestoftheyearinacoolhazeofsilverpaper，whichevenextendedtothefourlittlewhitecrockerypoodlesonthemantelshelf，eachwithablacknoseandabasketofflowersinhismouth，andeachthecounterpartoftheother。MrsJoewasaverycleanhousekeeper，buthadanexquisiteartofmakinghercleanlinessmoreuncomfortableandunacceptablethandirtitself。CleanlinessisnexttoGodliness，andsomepeopledothesamebytheirreligion。
Mysisterhavingsomuchtodo，wasgoingtochurchvicariously；thatistosay，JoeandIweregoing。Inhisworkingclothes，Joewasawell-knitcharacteristic-lookingblacksmith；inhisholidayclothes，hewasmorelikeascarecrowingoodcircumstances，thananythingelse。Nothingthatheworethen，fittedhimorseemedtobelongtohim；andeverythingthatheworethen，grazedhim。Onthepresentfestiveoccasionheemergedfromhisroom，whentheblithebellsweregoing，thepictureofmisery，inafullsuitofSundaypenitentials。Astome，IthinkmysistermusthavehadsomegeneralideathatIwasayoungoffenderwhomanAccoucheurPolicemenhadtakenup(onmybirthday)anddeliveredovertoher，tobedealtwithaccordingtotheoutragedmajestyofthelaw。IwasalwaystreatedasifIhadinsistedonbeingborn，inoppositiontothedictatesofreason，religion，andmorality，andagainstthedissuadingargumentsofmybestfriends。EvenwhenIwastakentohaveanewsuitofclothes，thetailorhadorderstomakethemlikeakindofReformatory，andonnoaccounttoletmehavethefreeuseofmylimbs。
JoeandIgoingtochurch，therefore，musthavebeenamovingspectacleforcompassionateminds。Yet，whatIsufferedoutside，wasnothingtowhatIunderwentwithin。TheterrorsthathadassailedmewheneverMrsJoehadgonenearthepantry，oroutoftheroom，wereonlytobeequalledbytheremorsewithwhichmyminddweltonwhatmyhandshaddone。Undertheweightofmywickedsecret，IponderedwhethertheChurchwouldbepowerfulenoughtoshieldmefromthevengeanceoftheterribleyoungman，ifIdivulgedtothatestablishment。Iconceivedtheideathatthetimewhenthebannswerereadandwhentheclergymansaid，`Yearenowtodeclareit！'wouldbethetimeformetoriseandproposeaprivateconferenceinthevestry。
IamfarfrombeingsurethatImightnothaveastonishedoursmallcongregationbyresortingtothisextrememeasure，butforitsbeingChristmasDayandnoSunday。
MrWopsle，theclerkatchurch，wastodinewithus；andMrHubblethewheelwrightandMrsHubble；andUnclePumblechook(Joe'suncle，butMrsJoeappropriatedhim)，whowasawell-to-docorn-chandlerinthenearesttown，anddrovehisownchaise-cart。Thedinnerhourwashalf-pastone。
WhenJoeandIgothome，wefoundthetablelaid，andMrsJoedressed，andthedinnerdressing，andthefrontdoorunlocked(itneverwasatanyothertime)forthecompanytoenterby，andeverythingmostsplendid。
Andstill，notawordoftherobbery。
Thetimecame，withoutbringingwithitanyrelieftomyfeelings，andthecompanycame。Mr。Wopsle，unitedtoaRomannoseandalargeshiningbaldforehead，hadadeepvoicewhichhewasuncommonlyproudof；indeeditwasunderstoodamonghisacquaintancethatifyoucouldonlygivehimhishead，hewouldreadtheclergymanintofits；hehimselfconfessedthatiftheChurchwas`thrownopen，'meaningtocompetition，hewouldnotdespairofmakinghismarkinit。TheChurchnotbeing`thrownopen，'hewas，asIhavesaid，ourclerk。ButthepunishedtheAmenstremendously；andwhenhegaveoutthepsalm-alwaysgivingthewholeverse-helookedallroundthecongregationfirst，asmuchastosay，`Youhaveheardmyfriendoverhead；
obligemewithyouropinionofthisstyle！'
Iopenedthedoortothecompany-makingbelievethatitwasahabitofourstoopenthatdoor-andIopeneditfirsttoMrWopsle，nexttoMrandMrsHubble，andlastofalltoUnclePumblechook。N。B。Iwasnotallowedtocallhimuncle，undertheseverestpenalties。
`MrsJoe，'saidUnclePumblechook:alargehard-breathingmiddle-agedslowman，withamouthlikeafish，dullstaringeyes，andsandyhairstandinguprightonhishead，sothathelookedasifhehadjustbeenallbutchocked，andhadthatmomentcometo；`Ihavebroughtyou，asthecomplimentsoftheseason-Ihavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofsherrywine-andIhavebroughtyou，Mum，abottleofportwine。'
EveryChristmasDayhepresentedhimself，asaprofoundnovelty，withexactlythesamewords，andcarryingthetwobottleslikedumb-bells。EveryChristmasDay，MrsJoereplied，asshenowreplied，`Oh，Un-clePum-
ble-chook！ThisISkind！'EveryChristmasDay，heretorted，ashenowretorted，`It'snomorethanyourmerits。Andnowareyouallbobbish，andhow'sSixpennorthofhalfpence？'meaningme。
Wedinedontheseoccasionsinthekitchen，andadjourned，forthenutsandorangesandapples，totheparlour；whichwasachangeverylikeJoe'schangefromhisworkingclothestohisSundaydress。Mysisterwasuncommonlylivelyonthepresentoccasion，andindeedwasgenerallymoregraciousinthesocietyofMrsHubblethaninothercompany。IrememberMrsHubbleasalittlecurlysharp-edgedpersoninsky-blue，whoheldaconventionallyjuvenileposition，becauseshehadmarriedMrHubble-Idon'tknowatwhatremoteperiod-whenshewasmuchyoungerthanhe。IrememberMrHubbleasatoughhigh-shoulderedstoopingoldman，ofasawdustyfragrance，withhislegsextraordinarilywideapart:sothatinmyshortdaysIalwayssawsomemilesofopencountrybetweenthemwhenImethimcomingupthelane。
AmongthisgoodcompanyIshouldhavefeltmyself，evenifIhadn'trobbedthepantry，inafalseposition。NotbecauseIwassqueezedinatanacuteangleofthetable-cloth，withthetableinmychest，andthePumblechookianelbowinmyeye，norbecauseIwasnotallowedtospeak(Ididn'twanttospeak)，norbecauseIwasregaledwiththescalytipsofthedrumsticksofthefowls，andwiththoseobscurecornersofporkofwhichthepig，whenliving，hadhadtheleastreasontobevain。No；
Ishouldnothavemindedthat，iftheywouldonlyhaveleftmealone。Buttheywouldn'tleavemealone。Theyseemedtothinktheopportunitylost，iftheyfailedtopointtheconversationatme，everynowandthen，andstickthepointintome。ImighthavebeenanunfortunatelittlebullinaSpanisharena，Igotsosmartinglytouchedupbythesemoralgoads。
Itbeganthemomentwesatdowntodinner。MrWopslesaidgracewiththeatricaldeclamation-asitnowappearstome，somethinglikeareligiouscrossoftheGhostinHamletwithRichardtheThird-andendedwiththeveryproperaspirationthatwemightbetrulygrateful。Uponwhichmysisterfixedmewithhereye，andsaid，inalowreproachfulvoice，`Doyouhearthat？Begrateful。'
`Especially，'saidMrPumblechook，`begrateful，boy，tothemwhichbroughtyouupbyhand。'
MrsHubbleshookherhead，andcontemplatingmewithamournfulpresentimentthatIshouldcometonogood，asked，`Whyisitthattheyoungarenevergrateful？'ThismoralmysteryseemedtoomuchforthecompanyuntilMrHubbleterselysolveditbysaying，`Naterallywicious。'Everybodythenmurmured`True！'andlookedatmeinaparticularlyunpleasantandpersonalmanner。
Joe'sstationandinfluenceweresomethingfeebler(ifpossible)whentherewascompany，thanwhentherewasnone。Buthealwaysaidedandcomfortedmewhenhecould，insomewayofhisown，andhealwaysdidsoatdinner-timebygivingmegravy，iftherewereany。Therebeingplentyofgravyto-day，Joespoonedintomyplate，atthispoint，abouthalfapint。
Alittlelateroninthedinner，MrWopslereviewedthesermonwithsomeseverity，andintimated-intheusualhypotheticalcaseoftheChurchbeing`thrownopen'-whatkingofsermonhewouldhavegiventhem。
Afterfavouringthemwithsomeheadsofthatdiscourse，heremarkedthatheconsideredthesubjectoftheday'shomily，ill-chosen；whichwasthelessexcusable，headded，whenthereweresomanysubjects`goingabout。'
`Trueagain，'saidUnclePumblechook。`You'vehitit，sir！Plentyofsubjectsgoingabout，forthemthatknowhowtoputsaltupontheirtails。
That'swhat'swanted。Amanneedn'tgofartofindasubject，ifhe'sreadywithhissalt-box。'MrPumblechookadded，afterashortintervalofreflection，`LookatPorkalone。There'sasubject！Ifyouwantasubject，lookatPork！'
`True，sir。Manyamoralfortheyoung，'returnedMrWopsle；andIknewhewasgoingtolugmein，beforehesaidit；`mightbededucedfromthattext。'
(`Youlistentothis，'saidmysistertome，inasevereparenthesis。)
Joegavemesomemoregravy。
`Swine，'pursuedMrWopsle，inhisdeepestvoice，andpointinghisforkatmyblushes，asifhewerementioningmychristianname；`Swinewerethecompanionsoftheprodigal。ThegluttonyofSwineisputbeforeus，asanexampletotheyoung。'(Ithoughtthisprettywellinhimwhohadbeenpraisinguptheporkforbeingsoplumpandjuicy。)`Whatisdetestableinapig，ismoredetestableinaboy。'
`Orgirl，'suggestedMrHubble。
`Ofcourse，orgirl，MrHubble，'assentedMrWopsle，ratherirritably，`butthereisnogirlpresent。'
`Besides，'saidMrPumblechook，turningsharponme，`thinkwhatyou'vegottobegratefulfor。Ifyou'dbeenbornaSqueaker——'
`Hewas，ifeverachildwas，'saidmysister，mostemphatically。
Joegavemesomemoregravy。
`Well，butImeanafour-footedSqueaker，'saidMrPumblechook。`Ifyouhadbeenbornsuch，wouldyouhavebeenherenow？Nowyou——'
`Unlessinthatform，'saidMrWopsle，noddingtowardsthedish。
`ButIdon'tmeaninthatform，sir，'returnedMrPumblechook，whohadanobjectiontobeinginterrupted；`Imean，enjoyinghimselfwithhiseldersandbetters，andimprovinghimselfwiththeirconversation，androllinginthelapofluxury。Wouldhehavebeendoingthat？No，hewouldn't。Andwhatwouldhavebeenyourdestination？'turningonmeagain。`Youwouldhavebeendisposedofforsomanyshillingsaccordingtothemarketpriceofthearticle，andDunstablethebutcherwouldhavecomeuptoyouasyoulayinyourstraw，andhewouldhavewhippedyouunderhisleftarm，andwithhisrighthewouldhavetuckeduphisfrocktogetapenknifefromoutofhiswaistcoat-pocket，andhewouldhaveshedyourbloodandhadyourlife。Nobringingupbyhandthen。Notabitofit！'
Joeofferedmemoregravy，whichIwasafraidtotake。
`Hewasaworldoftroubletoyou，ma'am，'saidMrsHubble，commiseratingmysister。
`Trouble？'echoedmysister；`trouble？'andthenenteredonafearfulcatalogueofalltheillnessesIhadbeenguiltyof，andalltheactsofsleeplessnessIhadcommitted，andallthehighplacesIhadtumbledfrom，andallthelowplacesIhadtumbledinto，andalltheinjuriesIhaddonemyself，andallthetimesshehadwishedmeinmygrave，andIhadcontumaciouslyrefusedtogothere。
IthinktheRomansmusthaveaggravatedoneanotherverymuch，withtheirnoses。Perhaps，theybecametherestlesspeopletheywere，inconsequence。
Anyhow，MrWopsle'sRomannosesoaggravatedme，duringtherecitalofmymisdemeanours，thatIshouldhavelikedtopullituntilhehowled。
But，allIhadendureduptothistime，wasnothingincomparisonwiththeawfulfeelingsthattookpossessionofmewhenthepausewasbrokenwhichensueduponmysister'srecital，andinwhichpauseeverybodyhadlookedatme(asIfeltpainfullyconscious)withindignationandabhorrence。
`Yet，'saidMrPumblechook，leadingthecompanygentlybacktothethemefromwhichtheyhadstrayed，`Pork-regardedasbiled-isrich，too；
ain'tit？'
`Havealittlebrandy，uncle，'saidmysister。
OHeavens，ithadcomeatlast！Hewouldfinditwasweak，hewouldsayitwasweak，andIwaslost！Iheldtighttothelegofthetableunderthecloth，withbothhands，andawaitedmyfate。
Mysisterwentforthestonebottle，camebackwiththestonebottle，andpouredhisbrandyout:nooneelsetakingany。Thewretchedmantrifledwithhisglass-tookitup，lookedatitthroughthelight，putitdown-prolongedmymisery。Allthistime，MrsJoeandJoewerebrisklyclearingthetableforthepieandpudding。
Icouldn'tkeepmyeyesoffhim。Alwaysholdingtightbythelegofthetablewithmyhandsandfeet，Isawthemiserablecreaturefingerhisglassplayfully，takeitup，smile，throwhisheadback，anddrinkthebrandyoff。Instantlyafterwards，thecompanywereseizedwithunspeakableconsternation，owingtohisspringingtohisfeet，turningroundseveraltimesinanappallingspasmodicwhooping-coughdance，andrushingoutatthedoor；hethenbecamevisiblethroughthewindow，violentlyplungingandexpectorating，makingthemosthideousfaces，andapparentlyoutofhismind。
Iheldontight，whileMrsJoeandJoerantohim。Ididn'tknowhowIhaddoneit，butIhadnodoubtIhadmurderedhimsomehow。Inmydreadfulsituation，itwasareliefwhenhewasbroughtback，and，surveyingthecompanyallroundasiftheyhaddisagreedwithhim，sankdownintohischairwiththeonesignificantgasp，`Tar！'
Ihadfilledupthebottlefromthetar-waterjug。Iknewhewouldbeworseby-and-by。Imovedthetable，likeaMediumofthepresentday，bythevigourofmyunseenholduponit。
`Tar！'criedmysister，inamazement。`Why，howevercouldTarcomethere？'
But，UnclePumblechook，whowasomnipotentinthatkitchen，wouldn'theartheword，wouldn'thearofthesubject，imperiouslywaveditallawaywithhishand，andaskedforhotgin-and-water。Mysister，whohadbeguntobealarminglymeditative，hadtoemployherselfactivelyingettingthegin，thehotwater，thesugar，andthelemon-peel，andmixingthem。
Forthetimeatleast，Iwassaved。Istillheldontothelegofthetable，butclutcheditnowwiththefervourofgratitude。
Bydegrees，Ibecamecalmenoughtoreleasemygraspandpartakeofpudding。MrPumblechookpartookofpudding。Allpartookofpudding。Thecourseterminated，andMrPumblechookhadbeguntobeamunderthegenialinfluenceofgin-and-water。IbegantothinkIshouldgetovertheday，whenmysistersaidtoJoe，`Cleanplates-cold。'
Iclutchedthelegofthetableagainimmediately，andpressedittomybosomasifithadbeenthecompanionofmyyouthandfriendofmysoul。
Iforesawwhatwascoming，andIfeltthatthistimeIreallywasgone。
`Youmusttaste，'saidmysister，addressingtheguestswithherbestgrace，`Youmusttaste，tofinishwith，suchadelightfulanddeliciouspresentofUnclePumblechook's！'
Mustthey！Letthemnothopetotasteit！
`Youmustknow，'saidmysister，rising，`it'sapie；asavouryporkpie。'
Thecompanymurmuredtheircompliments。UnclePumblechook，sensibleofhavingdeservedwellofhisfellow-creatures，said-quitevivaciously，allthingsconsidered-`Well，MrsJoe，we'lldoourbestendeavours；letushaveacutatthissamepie。'
Mysisterwentouttogetit。Iheardherstepsproceedtothepantry。
IsawMrPumblechookbalancehisknife。Isawre-awakeningappetiteintheRomannostrilsofMrWopsle。IheardMrHubbleremarkthat`abitofsavouryporkpiewouldlayatopofanythingyoucouldmention，anddonoharm，'andIheardJoesay，`Youshallhavesome，Pip。'IhaveneverbeenabsolutelycertainwhetherIutteredashrillyellofterror，merelyinspirit，orinthebodilyhearingofthecompany。IfeltthatIcouldbearnomore，andthatImustrunaway。Ireleasedthelegofthetable，andranformylife。
But，Irannofurtherthanthehousedoor，forthereIranheadforemostintoapartyofsoldierswiththeirmuskets:oneofwhomheldoutapairofhandcuffstome，saying，`Hereyouare，looksharp，comeon！'
Chapter5
THEapparitionofafileofsoldiersringingdownthebutt-endsoftheirloadedmusketsonourdoor-step，causedthedinner-partytorisefromtableinconfusion，andcausedMrsJoere-enteringthekitchenempty-handed，tostopshortandstare，inherwonderinglamentof`Graciousgoodnessgraciousme，what'sgone-withthe-pie！'
ThesergeantandIwereinthekitchenwhenMrsJoestoodstaring；atwhichcrisisIpartiallyrecoveredtheuseofmysenses。Itwasthesergeantwhohadspokentome，andhewasnowlookingroundatthecompany，withhishandcuffsinvitinglyextendedtowardstheminhisrighthand，andhisleftonmyshoulder。
`Excuseme，ladiesandgentleman，'saidthesergeant，`butasIhavementionedatthedoortothissmartyoungshaver'(whichhehadn't)，`I
amonachaseinthenameoftheking，andIwanttheblacksmith。'
`Andpraywhatmightyouwantwithhim？'retortedmysister，quicktoresenthisbeingwantedatall。
`Missis，'returnedthegallantsergeant，`speakingformyself，Ishouldreply，thehonourandpleasureofhisfinewife'sacquaintance；speakingfortheking，Ianswer，alittlejobdone。'
Thiswasreceivedasratherneatinthesergeant；insomuchthatMrPumblechookcriedaudibly，`Goodagain！'
`Yousee，blacksmith，'saidthesergeant，whohadbythistimepickedoutJoewithhiseye，`wehavehadanaccidentwiththese，andIfindthelockofoneof'emgoeswrong，andthecouplingdon'tactpretty。Astheyarewantedforimmediateservice，willyouthrowyoureyeoverthem？'
Joethrewhiseyeoverthem，andpronouncedthatthejobwouldnecessitatethelightingofhisforgefire，andwouldtakenearertwohoursthanone，`Willit？Thenwillyousetaboutitatonce，blacksmith？'saidtheoff-handsergeant，`asit'sonhisMajesty'sservice。Andifmymencanbeatahandanywhere，they'llmakethemselvesuseful。'Withthat，hecalledtohismen，whocametroopingintothekitchenoneafteranother，andpiledtheirarmsinacorner。Andthentheystoodabout，assoldiersdo；now，withtheirhandslooselyclaspedbeforethem；now，restingakneeorashoulder；
now，easingabeltorapouch；now，openingthedoortospitstifflyovertheirhighstocks，outintotheyard。
AllthesethingsIsawwithoutthenknowingthatIsawthem，forIwasinanagonyofapprehension。But，beginningtoperceivethatthehandcuffswerenotforme，andthatthemilitaryhadsofargotthebetterofthepieastoputitinthebackground，Icollectedalittlemoreofmyscatteredwits。
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