"Ihaveconsideredthatposition，Father。Iknowyoufeelthatway——you’veoftenmademefeelit。SoI’vebeenatsomepainstoworkitout——onamoneybasis。Hereisanaccount——asfullasIcouldmakeit。"Shehandedhimapapercoveredwithneatfigures。Thetotalsreadasfollows：
MissDianthaBell，ToMr。HendersonR。Bell，Dr。
Tomedicalanddentalexpenses……$110。00
Toschoolexpenses……$76。00
Toclothing，infull……$1，130。00
Toboardandlodgingat$3。00aweek……$2，184。00
Toincidentals……$100。00
————————
$3。600。00
Hestudiedthevariousitemscarefully，strokinghisbeard，halfinanger，halfinunavoidableamusement。Perhapstherewasatenderfeelingtoo，asherememberedthatdoctor’sbill——thefirstheeverpaid，withtheother，whenshehadscarletfever;andsawtheexactpriceofthehighchairwhichhadservedallthreeofthechildren，butofwhichshemagnanimouslyshoulderedthewholeexpense。
Theclothingtotalwassolargethatitmadehimwhistle——heknewhehadneverspent$1，130。00ononegirl’sclothes。Buttheitemsexplainedit。
Materials，threeyearsatanaverageof$10ayear……$30。00
Fiveyearsaveraging$20eachyear……$100。00
Fiveyearsaveraging$30eachyear……$50。00
Fiveyearsaveraging$50eachyear……$250。00
———————
$530。00
Therestwas"Mother’slabor，averagingtwentyfulldaysayearat$2aday，$40ayear。Forfifteenyears，$600。00。Mother’slabor——ononechild’s，clothes——footingupto$600。00。Itlookedstrangetoseecashvalueattachedtothatunfailingsourceoffamilycomfortandadvantage。
Theschoolexpensespuzzledhimabit，forshehadonlygonetopublicschools;butshewascountingbooksandslatesandevenpencils——itbroughtupeveningslongpassedby，thesewingwife，thestudyingchildren，the"Say，Father，I’vegottohaveanewslate——mine’sbroke！"
"Broken，Dina，"herMotherwouldgentlycorrect，whilehedemanded，"Howdidyoubreakit？"andscoldedherforhercarelesstomboyways。
Slates——three，$1。50——theywerealldown。Andslatesdidn’tcostsomuchcometothinkofit，eventhered—edgedones，woundwithblack，thatshealwayswanted。
Boardandlodgingwasputlow，at$3。00perweek，buttheitemshadafootnoteastohouse—rentinthecountry，andfoodraisedonthefarm。
Yes，heguessedthatwasafullratefortheplainfoodandbarelittlebedroomtheyalwayshad。
"It’swhatAuntEstherpaidthewintershewashere，"saidDiantha。
Circuses——three……$1。50
Shareinmelodeon……$50。00
Yes，shewasoneoffivetouseandenjoyit。
Musiclessons……$30。00
Andquitealargemarginlefthere，calledmiscellaneous，whichhesmiledtoobservemadejustanevenfigure，andsuspectedshehadputinforthatpurposeaswellasfromgenerosity。
"Thisboardaccountlookskindoffunny，"hesaid——"onlyfourteenyearsofit！"
"Ididn’ttaketable—board——noraroom——thefirstyear——normuchthesecond。I’veallowed$1。00aweekforthat，and$2。00forthethird——thattakesouttwo，yousee。Thenit’s$156ayeartillIwasfourteenandearnedboardandwages，twomoreyearsat$156——andI’vepaidsinceIwasseventeen，youknow。"
"Well——Iguessyoudid——Iguessyoudid。"Hegrinnedgenially。"Yes，"
hecontinuedslowly，"Iguessthat’safairenoughaccount。’Cordingtothis，youoweme$3，600。00，youngwoman！Ididn’tthinkitcostthatmuchtoraiseagirl。"
"Iknowit，"saidshe。"Buthere’stheotherside。"
Itwastheotherside。Hehadneveroncethoughtofsuchasidetothecase。Thisaccountwasasclearandhonestasthefirstandfullofexasperatingdetail。Shelaidbeforehimthesecondsheetoffiguresandwatchedwhileheread，explaininghurriedly：
"Itwasaclearexpensefortenyears——notcountinghelpwiththebabies。ThenIbegantodohouseworkregularly——whenIwastenoreleven，twohoursaday;threewhenIwastwelveandthirteen——realworkyou’dhavehadtopayfor，andI’veonlyputitattencentsanhour。
WhenMotherwassicktheyearIwasfourteen，andIdiditallbutthewashing——allaservantwouldhavedonefor$3。00aweek。EversincethenIhavedonethreehoursadayoutsideofschool，fullgrownworknow，attwentycentsanhour。That’swhatwehavetopayhere，youknow。"
Thusitmountedup：
Mr。HendersonR。Bell，ToMissDianthaBell，Dr。
Forlaborandservices——
Twoyears，twohoursadayat10c。anhour……$146。00
Twoyears，threehoursadayat10c。anhour……$219。00
Oneyear，fullwagesat$5。00aweek……$260。00
Sixyearsandahalf，threehoursadayat20c……$1423。50
————————
$2048。50
Mr。Bellmeditatedcarefullyonthesefigures。Tothinkofthatchild’slaborfootinguptotwothousanddollarsandover！Itwasluckyamanhadawifeanddaughterstodothiswork，orhecouldneversupportafamily。
Thencameherschool—teachingyears。Shehadalwaysbeenafinescholarandhehadfeltveryproudofhisgirlwhenshegotagoodschoolpositioninhereighteenthyear。
Californiasalarieswerehigherthaneasternones，andtimeshadchangedtoo;theyearhetaughtschoolherememberedthesalarywasonly$300。00——andhewasaman。Thisgirlgot$600，nextyear$700，$800，$900;whyitmade$3，000shehadearnedinfouryears。Astonishing。
Outofthisshehadabalanceinthebankof$550。00。Hewaspleasedtoseethatshehadbeensosaving。Andherclothingaccount——littleenoughheadmittedforfouryearsandsixmonths，$300。00。Allincidentalsforthewholetime，$50。00——thiswithherbalancemadejust$900。Thatleft$2，100。00。
"Twenty—onehundreddollarsunaccountedfor，younglady！——besidesthisnestegginthebank——I’dnoideayouweresowealthy。Whathaveyoudonewithallthat？"
"Givenittoyou，Father，"saidshequietly，andhandedhimthethirdsheetoffigures。
Boardandlodgingat$4。00aweekfor41/2yearsmade$936。00，thathecouldrealize;but"cashadvance"$1，164more——hecouldnotbelieveit。
ThattimehermotherwassosickandDianthahadpaidboththedoctorandthenurse——yes——hehadbeenmuchcrampedthatyear——andnursescomehigh。ForHenderson，Jr。’s，expensestoSanFrancisco，andagainforHendersonwhenhewasoutofajob——Mr。Bellrememberedtheboy’swritingforthemoney，andhisnothavingit，andMrs。BellsayingshecouldarrangewithDiantha。
Arrange！Andthatgirlhadkeptthisniggardlyaccountofit！ForMinnie’striptotheYosemite——andwhatwasthis？——forhisraisinexperiment——forthenewhorsetheysimplyhadtohaveforthedryingapparatusthatyearhelostsomuchmoneyinapricots——andforthesprayingmaterials——yes，hecouldnotdenytheitems，andtheycoveredthat$1，164。00exactly。
Thencamethedeadlybalance，oftheaccountbetweenthem：
Herlabor……$2，047。00
Herboard……$936。00
Her"cashadvanced"……$1，164。00
—————————
$4，147。00
Hisexpenseforher……$3，600
—————————
Dueherfromhim……$547。00
Diantharevolvedherpencilbetweenfirmpalms，andlookedathimratherquizzically;whilehermotherrockedanddarnedandwipedawayanoccasionaltear。Shealmostwishedshehadnotkeptaccountssowell。
Mr。Bellpushedthepapersawayandstartedtohisfeet。
"ThisisthemostshamefulpieceofcalculationIeversawinmylife，"
saidhe。"Ineverheardofsuchathing！Yougoandcountupincolddollarstheworkthateverydecentgirldoesforherfamilyandisgladto！Iwonderyouhaven’tchargedyourmotherfornursingher？"
"YounoticeIhaven’t，"saidDianthacoldly。
"Andtothink，"saidhe，grippingthebackofachairandlookingdownatherfiercely，"tothinkthatagirlwhocanearnninehundreddollarsayearteachingschool，andstayathomeanddoherdutybyherfamilybesides，shouldplantodeserthermotheroutright——nowshe’soldandsick！OfcourseIcan’tstopyou！You’reofage，andchildrennowadayshavenosenseofnaturalobligationafterthey’regrownup。Youcango，ofcourse，anddisgracethefamilyasyoupropose——butyouneedn’texpecttohavemeconsenttoitorapproveofit——orofyou。It’sashamefulthing——andyouareanunnaturaldaughter——that’sallI’vegottosay！"
Mr。Belltookhishatandwentout——aconclusiveformofpunctuationmuchusedbymenindiscussionsofthissort。
WHATDIANTHADID
CHAPTERIII。
BREAKERS
Duck！Dive！Herecomesanotherone！
Waittillthecrest—rufflesshow！
Beyondissmoothwaterinbeautyandwonder——
Shutyourmouth！Holdyourbreath！Dipyourheadunder！
Divethroughtheweightandthewash，andthethunder——
Lookoutfortheundertow！
IfDianthaimaginedthatherarithmeticalvictoryoveratoo—sordidpresentationoftheparentalclaimwasafinalone，shesoonfoundherselfmistaken。
Itiseasytosay——puttinganepicinanepigram——"Sheseenherdutyandshedoneit！"butthespaceandtimecoveredaregenerallyasfarbeyondourplansastheestimatesofanamateurmountainclimberexceedhisachievements。
Herdeterminationwasnotconcealedbyheroutragedfamily。Possiblytheythoughtthatifthematterwaswellaired，andgenerallydiscussed，thedaringoffendermightreconsider。Well—aireditcertainlywas，andwidelydiscussedbytheparentsofthelittletownbeforeyoungpeoplewhosatindumbness，ormadefaintdefense。Itwasalsodiscussedbytheyoungpeople，butnotbeforetheirparents。
ShehadtoldRoss，firstofall，meaningtohaveaquiettalkwithhimtoclearthegroundbeforearousingherownfamily;buthewassuddenlyawayjustassheopenedthesubject，byamanonawheel——somewretchedbusinessaboutthestoreofcourse——andsentwordthatnightthathecouldnotcomeupagain。Couldn’tcomeupthenextnighteither。Twolongdays——twolongeveningswithoutseeinghim。Well——ifshewentawayshe’dhavetogetusedtothat。
Butshehadsomanythingstoexplain，somuchtosaytomakeitrightwithhim;sheknewwellwhatablowitwas。Nowitwasallovertown——andshehadhadnochancetodefendherposition。
Theneighborscalled。TallbonyMrs。DelafieldwholivednearesttothemandhadknownDianthaforsomeyears，feltitherdutytomakeaspecialappeal——orattackrather;andbroughtwithherstoutMrs。
Schlosster，whoseancestorsandtraditionswereevidentlyofGermanextraction。
Diantharetiredtoherroomwhenshesawthesetwobearingdownuponthehouse;buthermothercalledhertomakeapitcheroflemonadeforthem——andhavingenteredtherewasnoescape。Theyharriedherwithquestions，wereincreasinglyoffendedbyherreticence，andexpresseddisapprovalwithafullnessthatovermasteredthegirl’sself—control。
"Ihaveasmuchrighttogointobusinessasanyothercitizen，Mrs。
Delafield，"shesaidwithrepressedintensity。"Iamofageandliveinafreecountry。Whatyousayofchildrennolongerappliestome。"
"Andwhatisthismysteriousbusinessyou’regoin’into——ifonemayinquire？Nothinyou’reashamedtomention，Ihope？"askedMrs。
Delafield。
"Ifawomanrefusestomentionherageisitbecauseshe’sashamedofit？"thegirlretorted，andMrs。Delafieldflusheddarkly。
"NeverhaveIheardsuchtalkfromamaidentoherelders，"saidMrs。
Schlosster。"Inmycountrytheyounghavemorerespect，asisright。"
Mrs。Bellobjectedinwardlytoanyreprimandofherchildbyothers;butsheagreedtotheprincipleadvancedandmadenocomment。
Dianthalistenedtoquiteavolumeofdetailedcriticism，inquiryandcondemnation，andfinallyrosetoherfeetwiththestiffcourtesyoftheyoung。
"Youmustexcusemenow，"shesaidwithsetlips。"Ihavesomenecessaryworktodo。"
Shemarchedupstairs，shutherbedroomdoorandlockedit，raginginwardly。"Itsnoneoftheirbusiness！Notashadow！WhyshouldMothersitthereandletthemtalktomelikethat！Onewouldthinkchildhoodhadnolimit——unlessit’smatrimony！"
Thisremindedherofheryoungersister’sairsofsuperiorwisdom，anddidnotconducetoapleasanterframeofmind。"Withalltheirmiserablelittleconventionsandidiocies！Andwhat’they’llsay，’and’they’llthink’！AsifIcared！Minnie’llbejustsuchanother！"
Sheheardtheladiesgoingout，stilltalkingcontinuously，afaintresponsefromhermothernowandthen，agrowingquietastheirstepsrecededtowardthegate;andthenanotherdeepervoicetookupthethemeandheavilyapproached。
Itwastheminister！Dianthadroppedintoherrockerandheldthearmstight。"NowI’llhavetotakeitagainIsuppose。Butheoughttoknowmewellenoughtounderstand。"
"Diantha！"calledhermother，"Here’sDr。Major;"andthegirlwashedherfaceandcamedownagain。
Dr。Majorwasaheavyelderlymanwithastrongmouthandawarmhandclasp。"What’sallthisIhearaboutyou，younglady？"hedemanded，holdingherhandandlookingherstraightintheeye。"IsthisanewkindofProdigalDaughterwe’reencountering？"
Hedidnotlooknorsoundcondemnatory，andasshefacedhimshecaughtatwinkleinthewiseoldeyes。
"Youcancallitthatifyouwantto，"shesaid，"OnlyIthoughttheProdigalSonjustspenthismoney——I’mgoingtoearnsome。"
"IwantyoutotalktoDiantha，DoctorMajor，"Mrs。Bellstruckin。
"I’mgoingtoaskyoutoexcuseme，andgoandliedownforalittle。I
dobelieveshe’lllistentoyoumorethantoanybody。"
Themotherretired，feelingsurethatthegoodmanwhohadknownherdaughterforoverfifteenyearswouldhavearestraininginfluencenow;
andDianthabracedherselffortheattack。
Itcame，heavyandsolid，basedonreason，religion，tradition，thecustomofages，thepastoralhabitofcontrolandprotection，thefather’sinstinct，theman’sobjectiontoagirl’sadventure。Butitwascourteous，kind，andrationallyput，andshemetitpointbypointwiththewhole—souledargumentsofanewposition，thepassionateenthusiasmofheryears。
Theycalledatruce。
"Icanseethatyou_think_itsyourduty，young，woman——that’sthemainthing。Ithinkyou’rewrong。Butwhatyoubelievetoberightyouhavetodo。That’sthewaywelearnmydear，that’sthewaywelearn！
Well——you’vebeenagoodchildeversinceI’veknownyou。Aremarkablygoodchild。Ifyouhavetosowthiskindofwildoats——"theybothsmiledatthis，"Iguesswecan’tstopyou。I’llkeepyoursecret——"
"Itsnotasecretreally，"thegirlexplained，"I’lltellthemassoonasI’msettled。Thentheycantell——iftheywantto。"Andtheybothsmiledagain。
"Well——Iwon’ttelltillIhearofitthen。And——yes，IguessIcanfurnishthatdocumentwithacleanconscience。"
Shegavehimpaperandpenandhewrote，withagrin，handinghertheresult。
Shereadit，agirlishgigglelighteningtheatmosphere。"Thankyou！"
shesaidearnestly。"Thankyoueversomuch。Iknewyouwouldhelpme。"
"Ifyougetstuckanywherejustletmeknow，"hesaidrising。"ThisProddyGalmaywantareturnticketyet！"
"I’llwalkfirst！"saidDiantha。
"ODr。Major，"criedhermotherfromthewindow，"Don’tgo！Wewantyoutostaytosupperofcourse！"
Buthehadothercallstomake，hesaid，andwentaway，hisbighandsclaspedbehindhim;hisheadbent，smilingoneminuteandshakinghisheadthenext。
Dianthaleanedagainstapearlyeucalyptustrunkandwatchedhim。ShewouldmissDr。Major。Butwhowasthisapproaching？Herheartsankmiserably。Mrs。Warden——and_all_thegirls。
Shewenttomeetthem——perforce。Mrs。Wardenhadalwaysbeenkindandcourteoustoher;thegirlsshehadnotseenverymuchof，buttheyhadthesweetSouthernmanner，werealwayspolite。Ross’smothershemustlove。Ross’ssisterstoo——ifshecould。Whydidthebottomdropoutofhercourageatsightofthem？
"Youdearchild！"saidMrs。Warden，kissingher。"Iknowjusthowyoufeel！Youwanttohelpmyboy！That’syoursecret！Butthiswon’tdoit，mydear！"
"You’venoideahowbadlyRossfeels！"saidMadeline。"Mrs。Delafielddroppedinjustnowandtoldus。Yououghttohaveseenhim！"
"Hedidn’tbelieveitofcourse，"Adelineputin。"Andhewouldn’tsayathing——notathingtoblameyou。"
"Wesaidwe’dcomeoverrightoff——andtriedtobringhim——buthesaidhe’dgottogobacktothestore，"Coralineexplained。
"Hewasmadthough！"saidDora——"_I_know。"
Dianthalookedfromonetotheotherhelplessly。
"Comein！Comein！"saidMrs。Bellhospitably。"Havethisrocker，Mrs。
Warden——wouldn’tyoulikesomecooldrink？Diantha？"
"Noindeed！"Mrs。Wardenprotested。"Don’tgetathing。We’regoingrightback，it’snearsuppertime。No，wecan’tthinkofstaying，ofcoursenot，noindeed！——Butwehadtocomeoverandhearaboutthisdearchild’sidea！——Nowtellusallaboutit，Diantha！"
Theretheysat——fivepairsofcuriouseyes——andhermother’ssadones——allkind——allutterlyincapableofunderstanding。
Shemoistenedherlipsandplungeddesperately。"Itisnothingdreadful，Mrs。Warden。Plentyofgirlsgoawaytoearntheirlivingsnowadays。ThatisallI’mdoing。"
"Butwhygoaway？"
"Ithoughtyouwereearningyourlivingbefore！"
"Isn’tteachingearningyourliving？"
"What_are_yougoingtodo？"thegirlsprotestedvariously，andMrs。
Warden，withamotherlysmile，suggested——
"Thatdoesn’texplainyourwantingtoleaveRoss，mydear——andyourmother！"
"Idon’twanttoleavethem，"protestedDiantha，tryingtokeephervoicesteady。"ItissimplythatIhavemadeupmymindIcandobetterelsewhere。"
"Dowhatbetter？"askedMrs。Wardenwithsweetpatience，whichreducedDianthatothebaldstatement，"Earnmoremoneyinlesstime。"
"Andisthatbetterthanstayingwithyourmotherandyourlover？"
pursuedthegentleinquisitor;whilethegirlstried，"Whatdoyouwanttoearnmoremoneyfor？"and"Ithoughtyouearnedalotbefore。"
NowDianthadidnotwishtostateinsomanywordsthatshewantedmoremoneyinordertomarrysooner——shehadhardlyputittoherselfthatway。Shecouldnotmakethemseeinafewmomentsthatherplanwastodofarmoreforhermotherthanshewouldotherwiseeverbeableto。
Andastomakingthemunderstandthelargerprinciplesatstake——therangeanddepthofherfullpurpose——thatwouldbephysicallyimpossible。
"Iamsorry！"shesaidwithtremblinglips。"Iamextremelysorry。
But——Icannotexplain！"
Mrs。Wardendrewherselfupalittle。"Cannotexplaintome？——Yourmother，ofcourse，knows？"
"Dianthaisnaturallymorefrankwithmethanwith——anyone，"saidMrs。
Bellproudly，"Butshedoesnotwishher——business——plans——madepublicatpresent！"
Herdaughterlookedatherwithvividgratitude，butthewords"madepublic"werealittleunfortunateperhaps。
"Ofcourse，"Mrs。Wardenagreed，withhercharmingsmile，"thatwecanquiteunderstand。I’msureIshouldalwayswishmygirlstofeelso。
Madeline——justshowMrs。Bellthatnecktieyou’remaking——shewasaskingaboutthestitch，youremember。"
Thenecktiewasproducedandadmired，whiletheothergirlsaskedDianthaifshehadherfalldressmakingdoneyet——andwhethershefoundwashribbonsatisfactory。Andpresentlythewholegracefulfamilywithdrew，onlyDoraholdingherheadwithvisiblestiffness。
Dianthasatonthefloorbyhermother，putherheadinherlapandcried。"Howsplendidofyou，Mother！"shesobbed。"Howsimplysplendid！Iwilltellyounow——if——if——youwon’ttellevenFather——yet。"
"Dearchild"saidherMother，"I’drathernotknowinthatcase。Itis——easier。"
"That’swhatIkeptstillfor！"saidthegirl。"It’shardenough，goodnessknows——asitis！Itsnothingwicked，orevenrisky，Motherdear——andasfarasIcanseeitisright！"
Hermothersmiledthroughhertears。"Ifyousaythat，mydearchild，I
knowthere’snostoppingyou。AndIhatetoarguewithyou——evenforyourownsake，becauseitissomuchtomyadvantagetohaveyouhere。
I——shallmissyou——Diantha！"
"Don’t，Mother！"sobbedthegirl。
"Itsnaturalfortheyoungtogo。Weexpectit——intime。Butyouaresoyoungyet——and——well，IhadhopedtheteachingwouldsatisfyyoutillRosswasready。"
Dianthasatupstraight。
"Mother！can’tyouseeRoss’llneverbeready！Lookatthatfamily！
Andthewaytheylive！Andthosemortgages！IcouldwaitandteachandsavealittleevenwithFatheralwayslosingmoney;butIcan’tseeRosswearinghimselfoutforyearsandyears——Ijust_can’t_bearit！"
Hermotherstrokedherfairhairsoftly，notsurprisedthatherownpleawassolostinthoughtofthebraveyounglover。
"Andbesides，"thegirlwenton"IfIwaited——andsaved——andmarriedRoss——whatbecomesof_you，_I’dliketoknow？WhatIcan’tstandistohaveyougrowolderandsicker——andneverhaveanygoodtimeinallyourlife！"
Mrs。Bellsmiledtenderly。"Youdearchild！"shesaid;asifanaffectionatefive—yearoldhadofferedtogetherarainbow，"Iknowyoumeanitallforthebest。But，Omy_dearest_！I’dratherhaveyou——here——athomewithme———thananyother’goodtime’youcanimagine！"
Shecouldnotseethesufferinginherdaughter’sface;butshefeltshehadmadeanimpression，andfolloweditupwithheart—breakingsincerity。Shecaughtthegirltoherbreastandheldherlikealittlechild。"Omybaby！mybaby！Don’tleaveyourmother。Ican’tbearit！"
Afamiliarstepoutside，heavy，yetuncertain，andtheybothlookedateachotherwithfrightenedeyes。
Theyhadforgottenthebiscuit。
"Supperready？"askedMr。Bell，withgrimhumor。
"Itwillbeinamoment，Father，"criedDianthaspringingtoherfeet。
"Atleast——inafewmoments。"
"Don’tfretthechild，Father，"saidMrs。Hendersonsoftly。"She’sfeelingbadenough。"
"Sh’dthinkshewould，"repliedherhusband。"Moreover——tomymind——sheoughtto。"
Hegotoutthesmalldamplocalpaperandhispipe，andcomposedhimselfinobviouspatience：yetsomehowthispatienceseemedtofillthekitchen，andtoactlikeaballandchaintoDiantha’sfeet。
Shegotsupperready，atlast，makinggriddle—cakesinsteadofbiscuit，andnocommentwasmadeofthechange：butthetensionintheatmospherewassharplyfeltbythetwowomen;andpossiblybythetalloldman，whoatelessthanusual，andsaidabsolutelynothing。
"I’mgoingovertoseeEdwardsaboutthatnewincubator，"hesaidwhenthemealwasover，anddeparted;andMrs。Bell，aftertryinginvaintodohermending，wipedhercloudedglassesandwenttobed。
Dianthamadeallneatandtidy;washedherownweteyesagain，andwentoutunderthemoon。Inthatbroadtendermellowlightshedrewadeepbreathandstretchedherstrongyoungarmstowardtheskyindumbappeal。
"Iknewitwouldbehard，"shemurmuredtoherself，"ThatisIknewthefacts——butIdidn’tknowthefeeling！"
Shestoodatthegatebetweenthecypresses，satwaitingundertheacaciaboughs，walkedrestlesslyupanddownthepathoutside，thedrypepperberriescrushsoftlyunderfoot;bracingherselfforonemorestruggle——andthehardestofall。
"Hewillunderstand！"hetoldherself，overandover，butatthebottomofherheartsheknewhewouldn’t。
Hecameatlast;aslower，wearierstepthanusual;cameandtookbothherhandsinhisandstoodholdingthem，lookingatherquestioningly。
Thenheheldherfacebetweenhispalmsandmadeherlookathim。Hereyeswerebraveandsteady，butthemouthtrembledinspiteofher。
Hestilleditwithakiss，anddrewhertoaseatonthebenchbesidehim。"MypoorLittleGirl！Youhaven’thadachanceyettoreallytellmeaboutthisthing，andIwantyoutorightnow。ThenI’mgoingtokillaboutfortypeopleinthistown！_Somebody_hasbeenmightyfoolish。"
Shesqueezedhishand，butfounditverydifficulttospeak。Hislove，hissympathy，histenderness，weresodeliciousafterthisday’strials——andbeforethosefurtheronesshecouldsowellanticipate。Shedidn’twishtocryanymore，thatwouldbynomeansstrengthenherposition，andshefoundshecouldn’tseemtospeakwithoutcrying。
"Onewouldthinktohearthegoodpeopleofthistownthatyouwereabouttoleavehomeandmotherfor——well，foratriptothemoon！"headded。"Thereisn’tanyagreementastowhatyou’regoingtodo，butthey’reunanimousastoitsbeingentirelywrong。Nowsupposeyoutellmeaboutit。"
"Iwill，"saidDiantha。"Ibegantotheothernight，youknow，youfirstofcourse——itwastoobad！yourhavingtogooffatthatexactmoment。ThenIhadtotellmother——because——wellyou’llseepresently。
Nowdear——justletmesayit_all_——beforeyou——doanything。"
"Sayaway，mydarling。Itrustyouperfectly。"
Sheflashedagratefullookathim。"Itisthisway，mydear。Ihavetwo，three，yesfour，thingstoconsider：——Myownpersonalproblem——myfamily’s——yours——andasocialone。"
"Myfamily’s？"heasked，withafaintshadeofoffenceinhistone。
"Nonodear——yourown，"sheexplained。
"Bettercutmineout，LittleGirl，"hesaid。"I’llconsiderthatmyself。"
"Well——Iwon’ttalkaboutitifyoudon’twantmeto。Therearetheotherthree。"
"Iwon’tquestionyoursecond，noryourimposingthird，butisn’tthefirstone——yourownpersonalproblem——agooddealanswered？"hesuggested，holdinghercloseforamoment。
"Don’t！"shesaid。"Ican’ttalkstraightwhenyouputitthatway。"
Sherosehurriedlyandtookasteportwoupanddown。"Idon’tsuppose——inspiteofyourlovingme，thatIcanmakeyouseeitasIdo。
ButI’llbejustasclearasIcan。Therearesomeyearsbeforeusbeforewecanbetogether。InthattimeIintendtogoawayandundertakeabusinessIaminterestedin。Mypurposeisto——developthework，toearnmoney，tohelpmyfamily，andto——well，nottohinderyou。"
"Idon’tunderstand，Iconfess，"hesaid。"Don’tyouproposetotellmewhatthis’work’is？"
"Yes——Iwill——certainly。Butnotyetdear！LetmetrytoshowyouhowIfeelaboutit。"
"Wait，"saidhe。"OnethingIwanttobesureof。Areyoudoingthiswithanyquixoticnotionofhelpingme——in_my_business？Helpingmetotakecareofmyfamily？Helpingmeto——"hestoodupnow，lookingverytallandratherforbidding，"No，Iwon’tsaythattoyou。"
"Wouldtherebeanythingwronginmymeaningexactlythat？"sheasked，holdingherownheadalittlehigher;"bothwhatyousaidandwhatyoudidn’t？"
"Itwouldbeabsolutelywrong，allofit，"heanswered。"IcannotbelievethatthewomanIlovewould——couldtakesuchaposition。"
"Lookhere，Ross！"saidthegirlearnestly。"Supposeyouknewwheretherewasagoldmine——_knewit_——andbygoingawayforafewyearsyoucouldgetarealfortune——wouldn’tyoudoit？"
"NaturallyIshould，"heagreed。
"Well，supposeitwasn’tagoldmine，butabusiness，anewsystemlikethosecigarstores——or——somepatentamusementspecialty——or_anything_——thatyouknewwasbetterthanwhatyou’redoing——wouldn’tyouhavearighttotryit？"
"OfcourseIshould——butwhathasthattodowiththiscase？"
"Whyit’sthesamething！Don’tyousee？Ihaveplansthatwillbeofrealbenefittoallofus，somethingworthwhileto_do_——andnotonlyforusbutfor_everybody_——arealpieceofprogress——andI’mgoingtoleavemypeople——andevenyou！——foralittlewhile——tomakeusallhappierlateron。"
Hesmiledlovinglyatherbutshookhisheadslowly。"Youdear，brave，foolishchild！"hesaid。"Idon’tforonemomentdoubtyournoblepurposes。Butyoudon’tgettheman’spointofview——naturally。What’smoreyoudon’tseemtogetthewoman’s。"
"Canyouseenootherpointofviewthanthose？"sheasked。
"Therearenoothers，"heanswered。"Come！come！mydarling，don’taddthisnewdifficultytowhatwe’vegottocarry！Iknowyouhaveahardtimeofitathome。Someday，pleaseGod，youshallhaveaneasierone！
AndI’mhavingahardtimetoo——Idon’tdenyit。ButyouarethegreatestjoyandcomfortIhave，dear——youknowthat。Ifyougoaway——itwillbeharderandslowerandlonger——that’sall。Ishallhaveyoutoworryabouttoo。Letsomebodyelsedothegold—mine，dear——youstayhereandcomfortyourMotheraslongasyoucan——andme。HowcanI
getalongwithoutyou？"
Hetriedtoputhisarmaroundheragain，butshedrewback。"Dear，"
shesaid。"IfIdeliberatelydowhatIthinkisright——againstyourwishes——whatwillyoudo？"
"Do？"Thelaughedbitterly。"WhatcanIdo？I’mtiedbytheleghere——lcan’tgoafteryou。I’venothingtopullyououtofascrapewithifyougetinone。Icouldn’tdoanythingbut——standit。"
"AndifIgoahead，anddowhatyoudon’tlike——andmakeyou——suffer——wouldyou——wouldyouratherbefree？"Hervoicewasverylowandshaken，butheheardherwellenough。
"Freeofyou？Freeof_you_？"Hecaughtherandheldherandkissedheroverandover。
"Youaremine！"hesaid。"Youhavegivenyourselftome！Youcannotleaveme。Neitherofusisfree——everagain。"Butshestruggledawayfromhim。
"Bothofusarefree——todowhatwethinkright，_always_Ross！I
wouldn’ttrytostopyouifyouthoughtitwasyourdutytogototheNorthPole！"Sheheldhimalittlewayoff。"Letmetellyou，dear。
Sitdown——letmetellyouallaboutit。"Buthewouldn’tsitdown。
"Idon’tthinkIwanttoknowthedetails，"hesaid。"Itdoesn’tmuchmatterwhatyou’regoingtodo——ifyoureallygoaway。Ican’tstopyou——Iseethat。Ifyouthinkthisthingisyour’duty’you’lldoitifitkillsusall——andyoutoo！Ifyouhavetogo——Ishalldonothing——candonothing——butwaittillyoucomebacktome！Whateverhappens，darling——nomatterhowyoufail——don’teverbeafraidtocomebacktome。"
Hefoldedhisarmsnow——didnotattempttoholdher——gaveherthefreedomsheaskedandpromisedhertheloveshehadalmostfearedtolose——andherwholecarefullyconstructedplanseemedlikeachild’ssandcastleforamoment;herheroicdecisionthewildestfolly。
Hewasnotevenlookingather;shesawhisstrong，clean—cutprofiledarkagainstthemoonlithouse，asettledpatienceinitslines。Duty！
Herewasduty，surely，withtenderesthappiness。Shewasleaningtowardhim——herhandwasseekinghis，whensheheardthroughthefragrantsilenceasoundfromhermother’sroom——thefaintcreakofherlightrockingchair。Shecouldnotsleep——shewassittingupwithhertrouble，bearingitquietlyasshehadsomanyothers。
Thequieteverydaytragedyofthatdistastefullife——theslowwitheringawayofyouthandhopeandambitionintoagraywasteofineffectualsubmissivelabor——notonlyofherlife，butofthousandsuponthousandslikeher——itallroseuplikeafloodinthegirl’shotyoungheart。
Rosshadturnedtoher——washoldingouthisarmstoher。"Youwon’tgo，mydarling！"hesaid。
"IamgoingWednesdayonthe7。10，"saidDiantha。
WHATDIANTHADID
CHAPTERIV。
ACRYINGNEED
"Lovestthoume？"saidtheFairLadye;
AndtheLoverhesaid，"Yea！"
"Thenclimbthistree——formysake，"saidshe，"Andclimbiteveryday！"
SofromdawntilldarkheabrazedthebarkAndworehisclothesaway;
Till，"Whathasthistreetodowiththee？"
TheLoveratlastdidsay。
Itwasapoordinner。Coldinthefirstplace，becauseIsabelwouldwaittothoroughlywashherlongartistichands;andputonanotherdress。Shehatedthesmellofcookinginhergarments;hateditworseonherwhitefingers;andnowtolookatthegracefulerectfigure，theroundthroatwiththesilvernecklaceaboutit，thesoftsmoothhair，silver—filletted，thenegativebeautyofthedove—coloredgown，speciallydesignedforhomeevenings，onewouldneverdreamshehadsetthetablesowell——andcookedthesteaksoabominably。
Isabelwasneveracook。InthemanyservantlessgapsofdomesticlifeinOrchardina，therewasalwaysastrainedatmosphereinthePornehousehold。
"Dear，"saidMr。Porne，"mightIpetitiontohavethesteaklesscooked？
Iknowyoudon’tliketodoit，sowhynotshortentheprocess？"
"I’msorry，"sheanswered，"Ialwaysforgetaboutthesteakfromonetimetothenext。"
"Yetwe’vehaditthreetimesthisweek，mydear。"
"Ithoughtyoulikeditbetterthananything，"shewithmarkedgentleness。"I’llgetyouotherthings——oftener。"
"It’sashameyoushouldhavethistodo，Isabel。Inevermeantyoushouldcookforme。IndeedIdidn’tdreamyoucaredsolittleaboutit。"
"AndIneverdreamedyoucaredsomuchaboutit，"shereplied，stillwithrepression。"I’mnotcomplaining，amI？I’monlysorryyoushouldbedisappointedinme。"
"It’snot_you，_deargirl！You’reallright！It’sjustthiseverlastingbother。Can’tyouget_anybody_thatwillstay？"
Ican’tseemtogetanybodyonanyterms，sofar。I’mgoingagain，to—morrow。Cheerup，dear——thebabykeepswell——that’sthemainthing。"
Hesatontherose—boweredporchandsmokedwhilesheclearedthetable。
Atfirsthehadtriedtohelpherontheseoccasions，buttheirmethodsweredissimilarandshefranklytoldhimshepreferredtodoitalone。
Sosheslippedoffthesilkandputontheginghamagain，washedthedisheswiththelaboredaccuracyofatrainedminddoingunfamiliarwork，madethebread，redressedatlast，andjoinedhimaboutnineo’clock。
"It’stoolatetogoanywhere，Isuppose？"heventured。
"Yes——andI’mtootired。Besides——wecan’tleaveEddiealone。"
"Oyes——Iforget。Ofcoursewecan’t。"
Hishandstoleouttotakehers。"I_am_sorry，dear。It’sawfullyroughonyouwomenouthere。Howdotheyallstandit？"
"MostofthemstanditmuchbetterthanIdo，Ned。Youseetheydon’twanttobedoinganythingelse。"
"Yes。That’sthemischiefofit！"heagreed;andshelookedathimintheclearmoonlight，wonderingexactlywhathethoughtthemischiefwas。
"Shallwegoinandreadabit？"heoffered;butshethoughtnot。
"I’mtootired，I’mafraid。AndEddie’llwakeupassoonaswebegin。"
Sotheysatawhileenjoyingthesoftsilence，andtherichflowerscentsaboutthem，tillEddiedidwakepresently，andIsabelwentupstairs。
Shesleptlittlethatnight，lyingquitestill，listeningtoherhusband’sregularbreathingsonearher，andthelightersoundfromthecrib。"Iamaveryhappywoman，"shetoldherselfresolutely;buttherewasnooutpouringsenseofloveandjoy。Sheknewshewashappy，butbynomeansfeltit。Soshestaredatthemoonshadowsandthoughtitover。
Shehadplannedthelittlehouseherself，withsuchlove，suchhope，suchtenderhappycare！Notherfirstwork，whichwonhighpraiseintheschoolinParis，nottheprize—winningplanforthelibrary，nowgracingOrchardina’sprettiestsquare，wasasdeartoherasthismostwomanlytask——themakingofahome。
Itwasthelibrarysuccesswhichbroughtherhere，freshfromherforeignstudies，andOrchardinaacceptedwithwesterncordialitytheyouthandbeautyoftheyoungarchitect，thoughabitsurprisedatfirstthat"I。H。Wright"wasanIsabel。Inherfurtherworkofoverseeingtheconstructionofthatlibrary，shehadmetEdgarPorne，oneofthenumerouseageryoungrealestatemenofthatregion，whoshowedaliberalenthusiasmforthegeneralcapacityofwomenintheprofessions，andamuchwarmerfeelingforthepersonalattractionsofthisone。
Togethertheychosethelotonpepper—shadedInezAvenue;togethertheywatchedtherisingoftheconcretewallsandplannedthegardenwalksandseats，andthetinypreciouspoolinthefarcorner。Hewassosympathetic！soadmiring！Hetookasmuchprideinthebig"drawingroom"onthethirdfloorasshedidherself。"Architectureissuchfineworktodoathome！"theyhadbothagreed。"Hereyouhaveyournorthlight——yourbigtable——plentyofroomforwork！Youwillgrowfamouserandfamouser，"hehadlovinglyinsisted。Andshehadanswered，"IfearIshallbetoocontented，dear，towanttobefamous。"
Thatwasonlysomeyearanda—halfago，——butIsabel，lyingtherebyhersleepinghusbandandsleepingchild，wasstarkawakeandonlybyassertionhappy。Shewasthinking，persistently，ofdust。Shelovedadelicatecleanliness。Herartwasapreciseone，herstudioaworkshopofwhitepaperandfinepointedhardpencils，herpaintingthemechanicalperfectionofanevenwashofcolor。Andshesaw，throughthefloorsandwallsandthedarkness，thedustinthelittleshadedparlor——twodays’dustatleast，andOrchardinaisverydusty！——dustinthedining—roomgatheredsinceyesterday——thedustinthekitchen——shewouldnotcounttimethere，andthedust——hereshecounteditinexorably——thedustofeightdaysinhergreat，lightworkroomupstairs。Eightdayssinceshehadfoundtimetogoupthere。
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