Iain’tanAnarchist。"
ThePrince，byamusculareffort，retiredsomefourorfiveinchesandcommencedtorebuttonhiswaistcoat。
"Howdidyougethere？"askedthePrince。
"’TwasabiggerjobthanI’dreckonedon，"admittedTommy，seekingadryinchinthesmearedhandkerchief，andfindingnone。"Butthatdon’tmatter，"addedTommycheerfully，"nowI’mhere。"
"IfyoudonotwishmetohandyouovertothepoliceatSouthampton，youhadbetteranswermyquestions，"remarkedthePrincedrily。
Tommywasnotafraidofprinces，butinthelexiconofherharassedyouth"Police"hadalwaysbeenawordofdread。
"Iwantedtogetatyou。"
"Igatherthat。"
"Theredidn’tseemanyotherway。It’sjollydifficulttogetatyou。You’resojollyartful。"
"Tellmehowyoumanagedit。"
"There’salittlebridgeforsignalsjustoutsideWaterloo。I
couldseethatthetrainwouldhavetopassunderit。SoIclimbedupandwaited。Itbeingafoggynight，yousee，nobodytwiggedme。
Isay，youarePrinceBlank，ain’tyou？"
"IamPrinceBlank。"
"ShouldhavebeenmadifI’dlandedthewrongman。"
"Goon。"
"Iknewwhichwasyourcarriage——leastways，Iguessedit;andasitcamealong，Ididadrop。"Tommyspreadoutherarmsandlegstoillustratetheaction。"Thelamps，youknow，"explainedTommy，stilldabbingatherface——"oneofthemcaughtme。"
"Andfromtheroof？"
"Oh，well，itwaseasyafterthat。There’sanironthingattheback，andsteps。You’veonlygottowalkdownstairsandroundthecorner，andthereyouare。Bitofluckyourotherdoornotbeinglocked。Ihadn’tthoughtofthat。Haven’tgotsuchathingasahandkerchiefaboutyou，haveyou？"
ThePrincedrewonefromhissleeveandpassedittoher。"Youmeantotellme，boy——"
"Ain’taboy，"explainedTommy。"I’magirl！"
Shesaiditsadly。Deeminghernewfriendssuchascouldbetrusted，Tommyhadacceptedtheirstatementthatshereallywasagirl。Butformanyalongyeartocomethethoughtofherlostmanhoodtingedhervoicewithbitterness。
"Agirl！"
Tommynoddedherhead。
"Umph！"saidthePrince;"IhaveheardagooddealabouttheEnglishgirl。Iwasbeginningtothinkitexaggerated。Standup。"
Tommyobeyed。Itwasnotaltogetherherway;butwiththoseeyesbeneaththeirshaggybrowsbentuponher，itseemedthesimplestthingtodo。
"So。Andnowthatyouarehere，whatdoyouwant？"
"Tointerviewyou。"
Tommydrewforthherlistofquestions。
Theshaggybrowscontracted。
"Whoputyouuptothisabsurdity？Whowasit？Tellmeatonce。"
"Nobody。"
"Don’tlietome。Hisname？"
Theterrible，smalleyesflashedfire。ButTommyalsohadapairofeyes。Beforetheirblazeofindignationthegreatmanpositivelyquailed。Thistypeofopponentwasnewtohim。
"I’mnotlying。"
"Ibegyourpardon，"saidthePrince。
AndatthispointitoccurredtothePrince，whobeingreallyagreatman，hadnaturallyasenseofhumour，thataconferenceconductedontheselinesbetweentheleadingstatesmanofanEmpireandanimpertinenthussyof，say，twelveyearsoldattheoutside，mightendbybecomingridiculous。SothePrincetookuphischairandputitdownagainbesideTommy’s，andemployingskilfullyhisundoubteddiplomaticgifts，drewfromherbitbybitthewholestory。
"I’minclined，MissJane，"saidtheGreatMan，thestoryended，"toagreewithourfriendMr。Hope。Ishouldsayyourmetierwasjournalism。"
"Andyou’llletmeinterviewyou？"askedTommy，showingherwhiteteeth。
TheGreatMan，layingahandheavierthanheguessedonTommy’sshoulder，rose。"Ithinkyouareentitledtoit。"
"What’syourviews？"demandedTommy，reading，"ofthefuturepoliticalandsocialrelationships——"
"Perhaps，"suggestedtheGreatMan，"itwillbesimplerifIwriteitmyself。"
"Well，"concurredTommy;"myspellingisabitrocky。"
TheGreatMandrewachairtothetable。
"Youwon’tmissoutanything——willyou？"insistedTommy。
"Ishallendeavour，MissJane，togiveyounocauseforcomplaint，"
gravelyheassuredher，andsatdowntowrite。
NottillthetrainbegantoslackenspeedhadthePrincefinished。
Then，blottingandrefoldingthepaper，hestoodup。
"Ihaveaddedsomeinstructionsonthebackofthelastpage，"
explainedthePrince，"towhichyouwilldrawMr。Hope’sparticularattention。Iwouldwishyoutopromiseme，MissJane，neveragaintohaverecoursetodangerousacrobatictricks，noteveninthesacredcauseofjournalism。"
"Ofcourse，ifyouhadn’tbeensojollydifficulttogetat——"
"Myfault，Iknow，"agreedthePrince。"Thereisnottheleastdoubtastowhichsexyoubelongto。Nevertheless，Iwantyoutopromiseme。Come，"urgedthePrince，"Ihavedoneagooddealforyou——morethanyouknow。"
"Allright，"consentedTommyalittlesulkily。Tommyhatedmakingpromises，becauseshealwayskeptthem。"Ipromise。"
"ThereisyourInterview。"ThefirstSouthamptonplatformlampshoneinuponthePrinceandTommyastheystoodfacingoneanother。ThePrince，whohadacquiredthereputation，notaltogetherunjustly，ofanill—temperedandsavageoldgentleman，didastrangething：takingthelittle，blood—smearedfacebetweenhispaws，hekissedit。Tommyalwaysrememberedthesmokyflavourofthebristlygreymoustache。
"Onethingmore，"saidthePrincesternly——"notawordofallthis。
Don’topenyourmouthtospeakofittillyouarebackinGoughSquare。"
"Doyoutakemeforamug？"answeredTommy。
TheybehavedveryoddlytoTommyafterthePrincehaddisappeared。
Everybodytookadealoftroubleforher，butnoneofthemseemedtoknowwhytheyweredoingit。Theylookedatherandwentaway，andcameagainandlookedather。Andthemoretheythoughtaboutit，themorepuzzledtheybecame。Someofthemaskedherquestions，butwhatTommyreallydidn’tknow，addedtowhatshedidn’tmeantotell，wassoprodigiousthatCuriosityitselfpaledatcontemplationofit。
Theywashedandbrushedherupandgaveheranexcellentsupper;
andputtingherintoafirst—classcompartmentlabelled"Reserved，"
sentherbacktoWaterloo，andthenceinacabtoGoughSquare，whereshearrivedaboutmidnight，sufferingfromasenseofself—
importance，tracesofwhichtothisdayarestilldiscernible。
Suchandthuswasthebeginningofallthings。Tommy，havingtalkedforhalfanhourattherateoftwohundredwordsaminute，hadsuddenlydroppedherheaduponthetable，hadbeenarousedwithdifficultyandpersuadedtogotobed。Peter，inthedeepeasy—
chairbeforethefire，satlongintothenight。Elizabeth，likingquietcompany，purredsoftly。OutoftheshadowscrepttoPeterHopeanoldforgottendream——thedreamofawonderfulnewJournal，priceonepennyweekly，ofwhichtheEditorshouldcometobeoneThomasHope，sonofPeterHope，itshonouredFounderandOriginator：apowerfulJournalthatshouldsupplyalong—feltwant，popular，butatthesametimeelevating——apleasuretothepublic，aprofittoitsowners。"Doyounotrememberme？"
whisperedtheDream。"Wehadlongtalkstogether。Themorningandthenoondaypass。Theeveningstillisours。Thetwilightalsobringsitspromise。"
Elizabethstoppedpurringandlookedupsurprised。Peterwaslaughingtohimself。
STORYTHESECOND——WilliamCloddappointshimselfManagingDirectorMrs。PostwhistlesatonaWindsor—chairinthecentreofRollsCourt。Mrs。Postwhistle，who，inthedaysofherHebehood，hadbeenlikenedbyadmiringfrequentersoftheoldMitreinChanceryLanetotheladies，somewhatemaciated，thatanEnglishartist，sincebecomefamous，wasthencommencingtopopularise，haddevelopedwiththepassingyears，yetstillretainedafaceofplacidyouthfulness。Thetwofacts，takeninconjunction，hadresultedinanassettoherincomenottobedespised。ThewandererthroughRollsCourtthissummer’safternoon，presuminghimtobefamiliarwithcurrentjournalism，wouldhaveretiredhauntedbythesensethattherestful—lookingladyontheWindsor—chairwassomeonethatheoughttoknow。Glancingthroughalmostanyillustratedpaperoftheperiod，theproblemwouldhavebeensolvedforhim。AphotographofMrs。Postwhistle，takenquiterecently，hewouldhaveencounteredwiththislegend："BEFOREuseofProfessorHardtop’scertaincureforcorpulency。"BesideitaphotographofMrs。Postwhistle，thenArabellaHiggins，takentwentyyearsago，thelegendslightlyvaried："AFTERuse，"etc。Thefacewasthesame，thefigure——therewasnodenyingit——hadundergonedecidedalteration。
Mrs。PostwhistlehadreachedwithherchairthecentreofRollsCourtincourseoffollowingthesun。Thelittleshop，overthelintelofwhichran："TimothyPostwhistle，GrocerandProvisionMerchant，"shehadleftbehindherintheshadow。OldinhabitantsofSt。Dunstan—in—the—Westretainedrecollectionofagentlemanlyfigure，alwaysinaverygorgeouswaistcoat，withDundrearywhiskers，tobeseenoccasionallytherebehindthecounter。Allcustomersitwouldrefer，withtheairofaLordHighChamberlainintroducingdebutantes，toMrs。Postwhistle，evidentlyregardingitselfpurelyasornamental。Forthelasttenyears，however，noonehadnoticeditthere，andMrs。Postwhistlehadafacilityamountingalmosttogeniusforignoringormisunderstandingquestionsitwasnottohertastetoanswer。Mostthingsweresuspected，nothingknown。St。Dunstan—in—the—Westhadturnedtootherproblems。
"IfIwasn’twantingtosee’im，"remarkedtoherselfMrs。
Postwhistle，whowasknittingwithoneeyeupontheshop，"’e’dabeen’ere’foreI’d’adtimetoclearthedinnerthingsaway;
certainto’avebeen。It’sastrangeworld。"
Mrs。PostwhistlewasdesirousforthearrivalofagentlemannotusuallyawaitedwithimpatiencebytheladiesofRollsCourt——towit，oneWilliamClodd，rent—collector，whosedayforSt。Dunstan—
in—the—WestwasTuesday。
"Atlast，"saidMrs。Postwhistle，thoughwithouthopethatMr。
Clodd，whohadjustappearedattheotherendofthecourt，couldpossiblyhearher。"Wasbeginningtobeafraidasyou’dtumbledoveryerselfinyour’urryand’urtyerself。"
Mr。Clodd，perceivingMrs。Postwhistle，decidedtoabandonmethodandtakeNo。7first。
Mr。Cloddwasashort，thick—set，bullet—headedyoungman，withwaysthatwerebustling，andeyesthat，thoughkind，suggestedtrickiness。
"Ah！"saidMr。Cloddadmiringly，ashepocketedthesixhalf—crownsthattheladyhandeduptohim。"Ifonlytheywerealllikeyou，Mrs。Postwhistle！"
"Wouldn’tbenoneedofchapslikeyoutoworry’em，"pointedoutMrs。Postwhistle。
"It’sanironyoffate，mybeingarent—collector，whenyoucometothinkofit，"remarkedMr。Clodd，writingoutthereceipt。"IfI
hadmyway，I’dputanendtolandlordism，rootandbranch。Curseofthecountry。"
"JusttheverythingIwantedtotalktoyouabout，"returnedthelady——"thatlodgero’mine。"
"Ah！don’tpay，don’the？Youjusthandhimovertome。I’llsoonhaveitoutofhim。"
"It’snotthat，"explainedMrs。Postwhistle。"IfaSaturdaymorning’appenedtocomeroundas’edidn’tpayupwithoutmeasking，IshouldknowI’dmadeamistake——thatitmustbeFriday。
IfIdon’t’appentobeinat’alf—pastten，’eputsitinanenvelopeandleavesitonthetable。"
"Wonderifhismotherhasgotanymorelikehim？"musedMr。Clodd。
"Coulddowithafewaboutthisneighbourhood。Whatisityouwanttosayabouthim，then？Merelytobragabouthim？"
"Iwantedtoaskyou，"continuedMrs。Postwhistle，"’owIcouldgetridof’im。Itwasratheracuriousagreement。"
"Whydoyouwanttogetridofhim？Toonoisy？"
"Noisy！Why，thecatmakesmorenoiseaboutthe’ousethan’edoes。’E’dmake’isfortuneasaburglar。"
"Comehomelate？"
"Neverknown’imoutaftertheshuttersareup。"
"Givesyoutoomuchtroublethen？"
"Ican’tsaythatof’im。Neverknowwhether’e’sinthe’ouseorisn’t，withoutgoingupstairsandknockingatthedoor。"
"Here，youtellityourownway，"suggestedthebewilderedClodd。
"Ifitwasanyoneelsebutyou，Ishouldsayyoudidn’tknowyourownbusiness。"
"’Egetsonmynerves，"saidMrs。Postwhistle。"Youain’tina’urryforfiveminutes？"
Mr。Cloddwasalwaysinahurry。"ButIcanforgetittalkingtoyou，"addedthegallantMr。Clodd。
Mrs。Postwhistleledthewayintothelittleparlour。
"Justthenameofit，"consentedMr。Clodd。"Cheerfulnesscombinedwithtemperance;that’stheideal。"
"I’lltellyouwhat’appenedonlylastnight，"commencedMrs。
Postwhistle，seatingherselftheoppositesideoftheloo—table。
"Alettercamefor’imbytheseveno’clockpost。I’dseen’imgoouttwohoursbefore，andthoughI’dbeensittingintheshopthewholeblessedtime，Ineversawor’eard’impassthrough。E’slikethat。It’slike’avingaghostforalodger。Iopened’isdoorwithoutknockingandwentin。Ifyou’llbelieveme，’ewasclingingwith’isarmsandlegstothetopofthebedstead——it’soneofthoseold—fashioned，four—postthings——’is’eadtouchingtheceiling。’E’adn’tgottoomuchclotheson，andwascrackingnutswith’isteethandeating’em。’Ethrewa’andfulofshellsatme，andmakingthemostawfulfacesatme，startedoffgibberingsoftlytohimself。"
"Allplay，Isuppose？Norealvice？"commentedtheinterestedMr。
Clodd。
"Itwillgoonforaweek，thatwill，"continuedMrs。Postwhistle——
"’efancying’imselfamonkey。Lastweekhewasatortoise，andwascrawlingaboutonhisstomachwithatea—traytiedonto’isback。’E’sassensibleasmostmen，ifthat’ssayingmuch，themoment’e’soutsidethefrontdoor;butinthe’ouse——well，I
supposethefactisthat’e’salunatic。"
"Don’tseemnohidinganythingfromyou，"Mrs。PostwhistleremarkedMr。Cloddintonesofadmiration。"Doesheevergetviolent？"
"Don’tknowwhat’ewouldbelikeif’e’appenedtofancy’imselfsomethingreallydangerous，"answeredMrs。Postwhistle。"Iamabitnervousofthisnewmonkeygame，Idon’tmindconfessingtoyou——thethingsthattheydoaccordingtothepicture—books。Uptonow，exceptforimagining’imselfamole，andtakingallhismealsunderneaththecarpet，it’sbeenmostlybirdsandcatsand’armlesssorto’thingsI’aven’tseemedtomindsomuch。"
"Howdidyougetholdofhim？"demandedMr。Clodd。"Havemuchtroubleinfindinghim，ordidsomebodycomeandtellyouabouthim？"
"OldGladman，ofChanceryLane，thelawstationer，brought’im’ereoneeveningabouttwomonthsago——said’ewasasortofdistantrelativeof’is，abitsoftinthe’ead，butperfectly’armless——
wantedtoput’imwithsomeonewhowouldn’timposeon’im。Well，whatbetween’avingbeenemptyforoverfiveweeks，thepooroldgaby’imselflookingasgentleasalamb，andthefigurebeingreasonable，Iratherjumpedattheidea;andoldGladman，explainingas’ow’ewantedthethingsettledanddonewith，gotmetosignaletter。"
"Keptacopyofit？"askedthebusiness—likeClodd。
"No。ButIcanrememberwhatitwas。Gladman’aditallready。
Solongasthemoneywaspaidpunctualand’edidn’tmakenodisturbanceanddidn’tfallsick，Iwastogoonboardingandlodging’imforseventeen—and—sixpenceaweek。Itdidn’tstrikemeasanythingtobeobjectedtoatthetime;but’epayin’regular，asI’veexplainedtoyou，andbe’aving，sofarasdisturbanceisconcerned，morelikeaChristianmartyrthanaman，well，itlookstomeasifI’dgottoliveanddiewith’im。"
"Givehimrope，andpossiblyhe’llhaveaweekatbeingahowlinghyaena，oralaughingjackass，orsomethingofthatsortthatwillleadtoadisturbance，"thoughtMr。Clodd，"inwhichcase，ofcourse，youwouldhaveyourremedy。"
"Yes，"thoughtMrs。Postwhistle，"andpossiblyalso’emaytakeitintowhat’ecallsis’eadtobeatigerorabull，andthenperhapsbefore’e’sthroughwithitI’llbebeyondthereachofremedies。"
"Leaveittome，"saidMr。Clodd，risingandsearchingforhishat。
"IknowoldGladman;I’llhaveatalkwithhim。"
"Youmightgetalookatthatletterifyoucan，"suggestedMrs。
Postwhistle，"andtellmewhatyouthinkaboutit。Idon’twanttospendtherestofmydaysinalunaticasylumofmyownifIcan’elpit。"
"Youleaveittome，"wasMr。Clodd’spartingassurance。
TheJulymoonhadthrownasilverveiloverthegrimnessofRollsCourtwhen，fivehourslater，Mr。Clodd’snailedbootsechoedagainuponitsunevenpavement;butMr。Cloddhadnoeyeformoonorstarsorsuch—like;alwayshehadthingsmoreimportanttothinkof。
"Seentheold’umbug？"askedMrs。Postwhistle，whowaspartialtotheair，leadingthewayintotheparlour。
"Firstandforemostcommenced，"Mr。Clodd，ashelaidasidehishat，"itisquiteunderstoodthatyoureallydowanttogetridofhim？What’sthat？"demandedMr。Clodd，aheavythuduponthefloorabovehavingcausedhimtostartoutofhischair。
"’Ecameinanhourafteryou’dgone，"explainedMrs。Postwhistle，"bringingwithhimacurtainpoleas’e’dpickedupforashillinginClareMarket。’E’srestedoneenduponthemantelpieceandtiedtheothertothebackoftheeasy—chair——’isideaistotwine’imselfrounditandgotosleepuponit。Yes，you’vegotitquiterightwithoutasingleblunder。Idowanttogetridof’im"
"Then，"saidMr。Clodd，reseatinghimself，"itcanbedone。"
"ThankGodforthat！"wasMrs。Postwhistle’spiousejaculation。
"ItisjustasIthought，"continuedMr。Clodd。"Theoldinnocent—
—he’sGladman’sbrother—in—law，bytheway——hasgotasmallannuity。Icouldn’tgettheactualfigure，butIguessit’saboutsufficienttopayforhiskeepandleaveoldGladman，whoisrunninghim，averydecentprofit。Theydon’twanttosendhimtoanasylum。Theycan’tsayhe’sapauper，andtoputhimintoaprivateestablishmentwouldswallowup，mostlikely，thewholeofhisincome。Ontheotherhand，theydon’twantthebotheroflookingafterhimthemselves。Italkedprettystraighttotheoldman——lethimseeIunderstoodthebusiness;and——well，tocutalongstoryshort，I’mwillingtotakeonthejob，providedyoureallywanttohavedonewithit，andGladmaniswillinginthatcasetoletyouoffyourcontract。"
Mrs。PostwhistlewenttothecupboardtogetMr。Cloddadrink。
Anotherthuduponthefloorabove——onesuggestiveofexceptionalvelocity——arrivedattheprecisemomentwhenMrs。Postwhistle，thetumblerlevelwithhereye，wasintheactofmeasuring。
"Icallthismakingadisturbance，"saidMrs。Postwhistle，regardingthebrokenfragments。
"It’sonlyforanothernight，"comfortedherMr。Clodd。"I’lltakehimawaysometimeto—morrow。Meanwhile，ifIwereyou，IshouldspreadamattressunderneaththatperchofhisbeforeIwenttobed。Ishouldlikehimhandedovertomeinreasonablerepair。"
"Itwilldeadenthesoundabit，any’ow，"agreedMrs。Postwhistle。
"Successtotemperance，"drankMr。Clodd，androsetogo。
"Itakeityou’vefixedthingsupallrightforyourself，"saidMrs。Postwhistle;"andnobodycanblameyouifyou’ave。’Eavenblessyou，iswhatIsay。"
"Weshallgetontogether，"prophesiedMr。Clodd。"I’mfondofanimals。"
Earlythenextmorningafour—wheeledcabdrewupattheentrancetoRollsCourt，andinitanduponitwentawayCloddandClodd’sLunatic（asafterwardshecametobeknown），togetherwithallthebelongingsofClodd’sLunatic，thecurtain—poleincluded;andthereappearedagainbehindthefanlightofthelittlegrocer’sshoptheintimation："LodgingsforaSingleMan，"whichcaughttheeyeafewdayslaterofaweird—looking，lanky，rawbonedladdie，whoselanguageMrs。Postwhistlefounddifficultyforatimeincomprehending;andthatiswhyonesometimesmeetsto—dayworshippersofKailYardliteraturewanderingdisconsolatelyaboutSt。Dunstan—in—the—West，seekingRollsCourt，discomfortedbecauseitisnomore。Butthatisthehistoryofthe"WeeLaddie，"andthisofthebeginningsofWilliamClodd，nowSirWilliamClodd，Bart。，M。P。，proprietorofaquarterofahundrednewspapers，magazines，andjournals："TruthfulBilly"wecalledhimthen。
NoonecansayofCloddthathedidnotdeservewhateverprofithisunlicensedlunaticasylummayhavebroughthim。AkindlymanwasWilliamCloddwhenindulgenceinsentimentdidnotinterferewithbusiness。
"There’snoharminhim，"assertedMr。Clodd，talkingthematteroverwithoneMr。PeterHope，journalist，ofGoughSquare。"He’sjustabitdotty，sameasyouorImightgetwithnothingtodoandalldaylongtodoitin。Kid’splay，that’sallitis。Thebestplan，Ifind，istotreatitasagameandtakeahandinit。Lastweekhewantedtobealion。Icouldseethatwasgoingtobeawkward，heroaringforrawmeatandthinkingtoprowlaboutthehouseatnight。Well，Ididn’tnaghim——that’snogood。Ijustgotagunandshothim。He’saducknow，andI’mtryingtokeephimone：sitsforanhourbesidehisbathonthreechinaeggsI’veboughthim。Wishsomeofthesaneoneswereaslittletrouble。"
Thesummercameagain。CloddandhisLunatic，amild—lookinglittleoldgentlemanofsomewhatclericalcut，oneoftenmetwitharm—in—arm，bustlingaboutthestreetsandcourtsthatwerethesceneofClodd’srent—collectinglabours。Theirevidentattachmenttooneanotherwascuriouslydisplayed;Clodd，theyoungandred—
haired，treatinghiswhite—haired，witheredcompanionwithfatherlyindulgence;theotherglancingupfromtimetotimeintoClodd’sfacewithawinningexpressionofinfantileaffection。
"Wearegettingmuchbetter，"explainedClodd，thepairmeetingPeterHopeonedayatthecornerofNewcastleStreet。"Themoreweareoutintheopenair，andthemorewehavetodoandthinkabout，thebetterforus——eh？"
Themild—lookinglittleoldgentlemanhangingonClodd’sarmsmiledandnodded。
"Betweenourselves，"addedMr。Clodd，sinkinghisvoice，"wearenothalfasfoolishasfolksthinkweare。"
PeterHopewenthiswaydowntheStrand。
"Clodd’sagoodsort——agoodsort，"saidPeterHope，who，havinginhistimelivedmuchalone，hadfallenintothehabitofspeakinghisthoughtsaloud;"buthe’snotthemantowastehistime。I
wonder。"
WiththewinterClodd’sLunaticfellill。
CloddbustledroundtoChanceryLane。
"Totellyouthetruth，"confessedMr。Gladman，"weneverthoughthewouldlivesolongashehas。"
"There’stheannuityyou’vegottothinkof，"saidClodd，whomhisadmirersofto—day（andtheyaremany，forhemustbeamillionairebythistime）arefondofalludingtoas"thatfrank，outspokenEnglishman。""Wouldn’titbeworthyourwhiletotrywhattakinghimawayfromthefogsmightdoforhim？"
OldGladmanseemedinclinedtoconsiderthequestion，butMrs。
Gladman，abrisk，cheerfullittlewoman，hadmadeuphermind。
"We’vehadwhatthereistohave，"saidMrs。Gladman。"He’sseventy—three。What’sthesenseofriskinggoodmoney？Becontent。"
Noonecouldsay——nooneeverdidsay——thatClodd，underthecircumstances，didnotdohisbest。Perhaps，afterall，nothingcouldhavehelped。Thelittleoldgentleman，atClodd’ssuggestion，playedatbeingadormouseandlayverystill。Ifhegrewrestless，therebybringingonhiscough，Clodd，asaterribleblackcat，waswatchingtopounceuponhim。OnlybykeepingveryquietandartfullypretendingtobeasleepcouldhehopetoescapetheruthlessClodd。
DoctorWilliamSmith（neWilhelmSchmidt）shruggedhisfatshoulders。"Wecandonoding。Desefogsofours：idisdeonetingdatenablestheforeignertocrowoverus。Keephimquiet。
Dedormouse——idisagootidea。"
ThateveningWilliamCloddmountedtothesecondfloorof16，GoughSquare，wheredwelthisfriend，PeterHope，andknockedbrisklyatthedoor。
"Comein，"saidadecidedvoice，whichwasnotPeterHope’s。
Mr。WilliamClodd’sambitionwas，andalwayshadbeen，tobetheownerorpart—ownerofapaper。To—day，asIhavesaid，heownsaquarterofahundred，andisinnegotiation，sorumourgoes，forsevenmore。Buttwentyyearsago"CloddandCo。，Limited，"wasbutinembryo。AndPeterHope，journalist，hadlikewiseandformanyalongyearcherishedtheambitiontobe，beforehedied，theownerorpart—ownerofapaper。PeterHopeto—dayownsnothing，exceptperhapstheknowledge，ifsuchthingsbepermitted，thatwheneverandwhereverhisnameismentioned，kindthoughtsariseunbidden——
thatsomeoneofthepartywillsurelysay："DearoldPeter！Whatagoodfellowhewas！"Whichalsomaybeinitswayavaluablepossession：whoknows？ButtwentyyearsagoPeter’shorizonwaslimitedbyFleetStreet。
PeterHopewasforty—seven，sohesaid，adreamerandascholar。
WilliamCloddwasthree—and—twenty，abornhustler，verywideawake。Meetingonedaybyaccidentuponanomnibus，whenCloddlentPeter，whohadcomeoutwithouthispurse，threepencetopayhisfarewith;driftingintoacquaintanceship，eachhadcometoacquirealikingandrespectfortheother。ThedreamerthoughtwithwonderofClodd’sshrewdpracticability;thecuteyoungmanofbusinesswaslostinadmirationofwhatseemedtohimhisoldfriend’smarvellouslearning。BothhadarrivedattheconclusionthataweeklyjournalwithPeterHopeaseditor，andWilliamCloddasmanager，wouldbeboundtobesuccessful。
"Ifonlywecouldscrapetogetherathousandpounds！"hadsighedPeter。
"Themomentwelayourhandsuponthecoin，we’llstartthatpaper。
Remember，it’sabargain，"hadansweredWilliamClodd。
Mr。WilliamCloddturnedthehandleandwalkedin。Withthedoorstillinhishandhepausedtolookroundtheroom。Itwasthefirsttimehehadseenit。HismeetingshithertowithPeterHopehadbeenchancerencontresinstreetorrestaurant。Alwayshadhebeencurioustoviewthesanctuaryofsomucherudition。
Alarge，oak—panelledroom，itsthreehighwindows，eachwithalow，cushionedseatbeneathit，givingontoGoughSquare。Thirty—
fiveyearsbefore，PeterHope，thenayoungdandywithsidewhiskersclose—croppedandterminatingjustbelowtheear;withwavy，brownhair，givingtohisfresh—complexionedfaceanappearancealmostgirlish;incut—awaybluecoat，floweredwaistcoat，blacksilkcravatsecuredbytwogoldpinschainedtogether，andtightlystrappedgreytrouserings，had，aidedandabettedbyafragilelittleladyincrinolineandmuch—flouncedskirt，andbodicesomewhatlow，withcorkscrewcurlseachmovementofherheadsetringing，plannedandfurnisheditinaccordancewiththesobercanonstheninvogue，spendingthereuponmorethantheyshould，asistobeexpectedfromtheyoungtowhomthefuturepromisesallthings。ThefineBrusselscarpet！Alittletoobright，hadthoughttheshakingcurls。"Thecolourswilltonedown，miss——ma’am。"Theshopmanknew。OnlybythehelpoftheroundislandunderneaththemassiveEmpiretable，byexcursionsintountroddencorners，couldPeterrecollecttherainbowfloorhisfeethadpressedwhenhewastwenty—one。Thenoblebookcase，surmountedbyMinerva’sbust。Reallyitwastooexpensive。Butthenoddingcurlshadbeensoobstinate。Peter’ssillybooksandpapersmustbeputawayinorder;thecurlsdidnotintendtopermitanyexcuseforuntidiness。So，too，thehandsome，brass—
bounddesk;itmustbeworthyofthebeautifulthoughtsPeterwouldpenuponit。Thegreatsideboard，supportedbytwosuchangry—
lookingmahoganylions;itmustbestrongtosupporttheweightofsilvercleverPeterwouldonedaypurchasetoplaceuponit。Thefewoilpaintingsintheirheavyframes。Asolidlyfurnished，soberapartment;aboutitthatsubtleatmosphereofdignityonefindsbutinoldroomslongundisturbed，whereoneseemstoreaduponthewalls："I，JoyandSorrow，twaininone，havedwelthere。"Oneitemonlytherewasthatseemedoutofplaceamongitsgravesurroundings——aguitar，hangingfromthewall，ornamentedwitharidiculousbluebow，somewhatfaded。
"Mr。WilliamClodd？"demandedthedecidedvoice。
Cloddstartedandclosedthedoor。
"Guesseditinonce，"admittedMr。Clodd。
"Ithoughtso，"saidthedecidedvoice。"Wegotyournotethisafternoon。Mr。Hopewillbebackateight。Willyoukindlyhangupyourhatandcoatinthehall？Youwillfindaboxofcigarsonthemantelpiece。Excusemybeingbusy。Imustfinishthis，thenI’lltalktoyou。"
Theownerofthedecidedvoicewentonwriting。Clodd，havingdoneashewasbid，sathimselfintheeasy—chairbeforethefireandsmoked。OfthepersonbehindthedeskMr。Cloddcouldseebuttheheadandshoulders。Ithadblack，curlyhair，cutshort。It’sonlygarmentvisiblebelowthewhitecollarandredtiemighthavebeenaboy’sjacketdesignedmorelikeagirl’s，oragirl’sdesignedmorelikeaboy’s;partakingofthegeniusofEnglishstatesmanship，itappearedtobeacompromise。Mr。Cloddremarkedthelong，droopinglashesoverthebright，blackeyes。
"It’sagirl，"saidMr。Cloddtohimself;"ratheraprettygirl。"
Mr。Clodd，continuingdownward，arrivedatthenose。
"No，"saidMr。Cloddtohimself，"it’saboy——acheekyyoungbeggar，Ishouldsay。"
Thepersonatthedesk，givingagruntofsatisfaction，gatheredtogethersheetsofmanuscriptandarrangedthem;then，restingitselbowsonthedeskandtakingitsheadbetweenitshands，regardedMr。Clodd。
"Don’tyouhurryyourself，"saidMr。Clodd;"butwhenyoureallyhavefinished，tellmewhatyouthinkofme。"
"Ibegyourpardon，"apologisedthepersonatthedesk。"Ihavegotintoahabitofstaringatpeople。Iknowit’srude。I’mtryingtobreakmyselfofit。"
"Tellmeyourname，"suggestedMr。Clodd，"andI’llforgiveyou。"
"Tommy，"wastheanswer——"ImeanJane。"
"Makeupyourmind，"advisedMr。Clodd;"don’tletmeinfluenceyou。Ionlywantthetruth。"
"Yousee，"explainedthepersonatthedesk，"everybodycallsmeTommy，becausethatusedtobemyname。Butnowit’sJane。"
"Isee，"saidMr。Clodd。"AndwhichamItocallyou？"
Thepersonatthedeskpondered。"Well，ifthisschemeyouandMr。
Hopehavebeentalkingaboutreallycomestoanything，weshallbeagooddealthrowntogether，yousee，andthenIexpectyou’llcallmeTommy——mostpeopledo。"
"You’veheardaboutthescheme？Mr。Hopehastoldyou？"
"Why，ofcourse，"repliedTommy。"I’mMr。Hope’sdevil。"
ForthemomentClodddoubtedwhetherhisoldfriendhadnotstartedarivalestablishmenttohisown。
"Ihelphiminhiswork，"Tommyrelievedhismindbyexplaining。
"Injournalisticcircleswecallitdevilling。"
"Iunderstand，"saidMr。Clodd。"Andwhatdoyouthink，Tommy，ofthescheme？ImayaswellstartcallingyouTommy，because，betweenyouandme，Ithinktheideawillcometosomething。"
Tommyfixedherblackeyesuponhim。Sheseemedtobelookinghimrightthrough。
"Youarestaringagain，Tommy，"Cloddremindedher。"You’llhavetroublebreakingyourselfofthathabit，Icansee。"
"Iwastryingtomakeupmymindaboutyou。Everythingdependsuponthebusinessman。"
"Gladtohearyousayso，"repliedtheself—satisfiedClodd。
"Ifyouareveryclever——Doyoumindcomingnearertothelamp？I
can’tquiteseeyouoverthere。"
Cloddnevercouldunderstandwhyhedidit——nevercouldunderstandwhy，fromfirsttolast，healwaysdidwhatTommywishedhimtodo;
hisonlyconsolationbeingthatotherfolksseemedjustashelpless。Heroseand，crossingthelongroom，stoodatattentionbeforethelargedesk，nervousness，towhichhewassomewhatofastranger，takingpossessionofhim。
"Youdon’tLOOKveryclever。"
Cloddexperiencedanothernewsensation——thatoffallinginhisownestimation。
"AndyetonecanseethatyouAREclever。"
ThemercuryofClodd’sconceitshotupwardtoapointthatinthecaseofanyonelessphysicallyrobustmighthavebeendangeroustohealth。
Cloddheldouthishand。"We’llpullitthrough，Tommy。TheGuv’norshallfindtheliterature;youandIwillmakeitgo。I
likeyou。"
AndPeterHope，enteringatthemoment，caughtasparkfromthelightthatshoneintheeyesofWilliamCloddandTommy，whoseothernamewasJane，as，grippinghands，theystoodwiththedeskbetweenthem，laughingtheyknewnotwhy。AndtheyearsfellfromoldPeter，and，againaboy，healsolaughedheknewnotwhy。Hehadsippedfromthewine—cupofyouth。
"It’sallsettled，Guv’nor！"criedClodd。"TommyandIhavefixedthingsup。We’llstartwiththeNewYear。"
"You’vegotthemoney？"
"I’mreckoningonit。Idon’tseeverywellhowIcanmissit。"
"Sufficient？"
"Justabout。Yougettowork。"
"I’vesavedalittle，"beganPeter。"Itoughttohavebeenmore，butsomehowitisn’t。"
"Perhapsweshallwantit，"Cloddreplied;"perhapsweshan’t。Youaresupplyingthebrains。"
Thethreeforafewmomentsremainedsilent。
"Ithink，Tommy，"saidPeter，"IthinkabottleoftheoldMadeira—
—"
"Notto—night，"saidClodd;"nexttime。"
"Todrinksuccess，"urgedPeter。
"Oneman’ssuccessgenerallymeanssomeotherpoordevil’smisfortune，"answeredClodd。
"Can’tbehelped，ofcourse，butdon’twanttothinkaboutitto—
night。Mustbegettingbacktomydormouse。Goodnight。"
Cloddshookhandsandbustledout。
"Ithoughtasmuch，"musedPeteraloud。
"Whatanoddmixturethemanis！Kind——noonecouldhavebeenkindertothepooroldfellow。Yetallthewhile——Weareanoddmixture，Tommy，"saidPeterHope，"anoddmixture，wemenandwomen。"Peterwasaphilosopher。
Thewhite—whiskeredolddormousesooncoughedhimselftosleepforever。
"Ishallwantyouandthemissistocometothefuneral，Gladman，"
saidMr。Clodd，asheswungintothestationer’sshop;"andbringPincerwithyou。I’mwritingtohim。"
"Don’tseewhatgoodwecando，"demurredGladman。
"Well，youthreearehisonlyrelatives;it’sonlydecentyoushouldbepresent，"urgedClodd。"Besides，there’sthewilltoberead。Youmaycaretohearit。"
Thedryoldlawstationeropenedwidehiswateryeyes。
"Hiswill！Why，whathadhegottoleave？Therewasnothingbuttheannuity。"
"Youturnupatthefuneral，"Cloddtoldhim，"andyou’lllearnallaboutit。Bonner’sclerkwillbethereandwillbringitwithhim。
Everythingisgoingtobedonecommeilfaut，astheFrenchsay。"
"Ioughttohaveknownofthis，"beganMr。Gladman。
"Gladtofindyoutakingsomuchinterestintheoldchap，"saidClodd。"Pityhe’sdeadandcan’tthankyou。"
"Iwarnyou，"shoutedoldGladman，whosevoicewasrisingtoascream，"hewasahelplessimbecile，incapableofactingforhimself！Ifanyundueinfluence——"
"SeeyouonFriday，"brokeinClodd，whowasbusy。
Friday’sceremonywasnotasociableaffair。Mrs。GladmanspokeoccasionallyinashrillwhispertoMr。Gladman，whorepliedwithgrunts。BothemployedtheremainderoftheirtimeinscowlingatClodd。Mr。Pincer，astout，heavygentlemanconnectedwiththeHouseofCommons，maintainedaministerialreserve。Theundertaker’sforemanexpressedhimselfasthankfulwhenitwasover。Hecriticiseditasthehumpiestfuneralhehadeverknown;
foratimehehadseriousthoughtsofchanginghisprofession。
Thesolicitor’sclerkwaswaitingforthepartyonitsreturnfromKensalGreen。Cloddagainofferedhospitality。Mr。Pincerthistimeallowedhimselfaglassofweakwhisky—and—water，andsippeditwithanairofdoingsowithoutprejudice。Theclerkhadonealittlestronger，Mrs。Gladman，dispensingwithconsultation，declinedshrillyforselfandpartner。Clodd，explainingthathealwaysfollowedlegalprecedent，mixedhimselfonealsoanddrank"Toournexthappymeeting。"Thentheclerkread。
Itwasashortandsimplewill，datedthepreviousAugust。Itappearedthattheoldgentleman，unknowntohisrelatives，haddiedpossessedofsharesinasilvermine，oncedespairedof，nowprospering。Takingthematpresentvalue，theywouldproduceasumwellovertwothousandpounds。Theoldgentlemanhadbequeathedfivehundredpoundstohisbrother—in—law，Mr。Gladman;fivehundredpoundstohisonlyotherlivingrelative，hisfirstcousin，Mr。Pincer;theresiduetohisfriend，WilliamClodd，asareturnforthemanykindnessesthatgentlemanhadshownhim。
Mr。Gladmanrose，moreamusedthanangry。
"Andyouthinkyouaregoingtopocketthatonethousandtotwelvehundredpounds。Youreallydo？"heaskedMr。Clodd，who，withlegsstretchedoutbeforehim，satwithhishandsdeepinhistrouserspockets。
"That’stheidea，"admittedMr。Clodd。
Mr。Gladmanlaughed，butwithoutmuchlighteningtheatmosphere。
"Uponmyword，Clodd，youamuseme——youquiteamuseme，"repeatedMr。Gladman。
"Youalwayshadasenseofhumour，"commentedMr。Clodd。
"Youvillain！Youdouble—dyedvillain！"screamedMr。Gladman，suddenlychanginghistone。"Youthinkthelawisgoingtoallowyoutoswindlehonestmen！Youthinkwearegoingtositstillforyoutorobus！Thatwill——"Mr。Gladmanpointedalankforefingerdramaticallytowardsthetable。
"Youmeantodisputeit？"inquiredMr。Clodd。
ForamomentMr。Gladmanstoodaghastattheother’scoolness，butsoonfoundhisvoiceagain。
"Disputeit！"heshrieked。"Doyoudisputethatyouinfluencedhim？——dictatedittohimwordforword，madethepooroldhelplessidiotsignit，heutterlyincapableofevenunderstanding——"
"Don’tchattersomuch，"interruptedMr。Clodd。"It’snotaprettyvoice，yours。WhatIaskedyouwas，doyouintendtodisputeit？"
"Ifyouwillkindlyexcuseus，"struckinMrs。Gladman，addressingMr。Cloddwithanairofmuchpoliteness，"weshalljusthavetime，ifwegonow，tocatchoursolicitorbeforeheleaveshisoffice。"
Mr。Gladmantookuphishatfromunderneathhischair。
"Onemoment，"suggestedMr。Clodd。"Ididinfluencehimtomakethatwill。Ifyoudon’tlikeit，there’sanendofit。"
"Ofcourse，"commencedMr。Gladmaninamollifiedtone。
"Sitdown，"suggestedMr。Clodd。"Let’stryanotherone。"Mr。
Cloddturnedtotheclerk。"Thepreviousone，Mr。Wright，ifyouplease;theonedatedJunethe10th。"
Anequallyshortandsimpledocument，itbequeathedthreehundredpoundstoMr。WilliamCloddinacknowledgmentofkindnessesreceived，theresiduetotheRoyalZoologicalSocietyofLondon，thedeceasedhavingbeenalwaysinterestedinandfondofanimals。
Therelatives，"Whohavenevershownmetheslightestaffectionorgiventhemselvestheslightesttroubleconcerningme，andwhohavealreadyreceivedconsiderablesumsoutofmyincome，"beingbynameexcluded。
"Imaymention，"observedMr。Clodd，nooneelseappearinginclinedtobreakthesilence，"thatinsuggestingtheRoyalZoologicalSocietytomypooroldfriendasafittingobjectforhisbenevolence，Ihadinmindaverysimilarcasethatoccurredfiveyearsago。Abequesttothemwasdisputedonthegroundsthatthetestatorwasofunsoundmind。TheyhadtotaketheircasetotheHouseofLordsbeforetheyfinallywonit。"
"Anyhow，"remarkedMr。Gladman，lickinghislips，whichweredry，"youwon’tgetanything，Mr。Clodd——no，notevenyourthree—hundredpounds，cleverasyouthinkyourself。Mybrother—in—law’smoneywillgotothelawyers。"
ThenMr。Pincerroseandspokeslowlyandclearly。"Iftheremustbealunaticconnectedwithourfamily，whichIdon’tseewhythereshouldbe，itseemstometobeyou，NathanielGladman。"
Mr。Gladmanstaredbackwithopenmouth。Mr。Pincerwentonimpressively。
"AsformypooroldcousinJoe，hehadhiseccentricities，butthatwasall。IforoneampreparedtoswearthathewasofsoundmindinAugustlastandquitecapableofmakinghisownwill。Itseemstomethattheotherthing，datedinJune，isjustwastepaper。"
Mr。Pincerhavingdeliveredhimself，satdownagain。Mr。Gladmanshowedsignsofreturninglanguage。
"Oh！what’stheuseofquarrelling？"chirpedincheeryMrs。
Gladman。"It’sfivehundredpoundsweneverexpected。LiveandletliveiswhatIalwayssay。"
"It’sthedamnedartfulnessofthething，"saidMr。Gladman，stillverywhiteaboutthegills。
"Oh，youhavealittlesomethingtothawyourface，"suggestedhiswife。
Mr。andMrs。Gladman，onthestrengthofthefivehundredpounds，wenthomeinacab。Mr。PincerstayedbehindandmadeanightofitwithMr。CloddandBonner’sclerk，atClodd’sexpense。
Theresidueworkedoutatelevenhundredandsixty—ninepoundsandafewshillings。Thecapitalofthenewcompany，"establishedforthepurposeofcarryingonthebusinessofnewspaperpublishersanddistributors，printers，advertisingagents，andanyothertradeandenterpriseaffiliatedtothesame，"wasonethousandpoundsinonepoundshares，fullypaidup;ofwhichWilliamClodd，Esquire，wasregisteredproprietoroffourhundredandsixty—three;PeterHope，M。A。，of16，GoughSquare，ofalsofourhundredandsixty—three;
MissJaneHope，adopteddaughterofsaidPeterHope（herrealnamenobody，herselfincluded，everhavingknown），andgenerallycalledTommy，ofthree，paidforbyherselfafterabattleroyalwithWilliamClodd;Mrs。Postwhistle，ofRollsCourt，often，presentedbythepromoter;Mr。Pincer，oftheHouseofCommons，alsooften（stillowingfor）;Dr。Smith（neSchmidt）offifty;JamesDouglasAlexanderCalderMcTear（otherwisethe"WeeLaddie"），residingtheninMrs。Postwhistle’sfirstfloorfront，ofone，paidforbypoempublishedinthefirstnumber："TheSongofthePen。"
Choosingatitleforthepapercostmuchthought。Driventodespair，theycalleditGoodHumour。
STORYTHETHIRD：GrindleyJuniordropsintothePositionofPublisherFewarethewaysoftheWestCentraldistrictthathavechangedlesswithinthelasthalf—centurythanNevill’sCourt，leadingfromGreatNewStreetintoFetterLane。Itsnorthsidestillconsistsofthesamequaintrowofsmalllowshopsthatstoodthere——doingperhapsalittlebriskerbusiness——whenGeorgetheFourthwasKing;
itssouthernsideofthesamethreesubstantialhouseseachbehindastripofgarden，pleasantbycontrastwithsurroundinggrimness，builtlongago——somesaybeforeQueenAnnewasdead。
Outofthelargestofthese，passingthroughthegarden，thenwellcaredfor，cameonesunnySundaymorning，somefifteenyearsbeforethecommencementproperofthisstory，oneSolomonAppleyard，pushinginfrontofhimaperambulator。Atthebrickwallsurmountedbywoodenrailingsthatdividesthegardenfromthecourt，Solomonpaused，hearingbehindhimthevoiceofMrs。
Appleyardspeakingfromthedoorstep。
"IfIdon’tseeyouagainuntildinner—time，I’lltryandgetonwithoutyou，understand。Don’tthinkofnothingbutyourpipeandforgetthechild。Andbecarefulofthecrossings。"
Mrs。Appleyardretiredintothedarkness。Solomon，steeringtheperambulatorcarefully，emergedfromNevill’sCourtwithoutaccident。ThequietstreetsdrewSolomonwestward。AvacantseatbeneaththeshadeoverlookingtheLongWaterinKensingtonGardensinvitedtorest。
"Piper？"suggestedasmallboytoSolomon。"SundayTimes，’Server？"
"Myboy，"saidMr。Appleyard，speakingslowly，"whenyou’vebeenmewedupwithnewspaperseighteenhoursadayforsixdaysaweek，youcandowithout’emforamorning。Take’emaway。Iwanttoforgetthesmellof’em。"
Solomon，havingassuredhimselfthatthepartyintheperambulatorwasstillbreathing，crossedhislegsandlithispipe。
"Hezekiah！"
TheexclamationhadbeenwrungfromSolomonAppleyardbytheapproachofastout，shortmancladinaremarkablyill—fittingbroad—clothsuit。
"What，Sol，myboy？"
"Itlookedlikeyou，"saidSolomon。"AndthenIsaidtomyself：
’No;surelyitcan’tbeHezekiah;he’llbeatchapel。’"
"Yourunabout，"saidHezekiah，addressingayouthofsomefoursummershehadbeenleadingbythehand。"Don’tyougooutofmysight;andwhateveryoudo，don’tyoudoinjurytothosenewclothesofyours，oryou’llwishyou’dneverbeenputintothem。
Thetruthis，"continuedHezekiahtohisfriend，hissolesurvivingsonandheirbeingoutofearshot，"themorningtemptedme。
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