Heknewtherewasnofly。Butthegroundwassuddenlycutfromhisfeet。Thereisalimittoknighterrantry——dragonsandfalseknightsareallverywell，butflies！Fictitiousflies！Whateverthetroublewas，itwasevidentlynothisaffair。Hefelthehadmadeafoolofhimselfagain。Hewouldhavemumbledsomesortofapology;buttheothermaninbrowngavehimnotime，turnedonhimabruptly，evenfiercely。"Ihope，"hesaid，"thatyourcuriosityissatisfied？"
"Certainly，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Thenwewon’tdetainyou。"
And，ignominiously，Mr。Hoopdriverturnedhismachineabout，struggleduponit，andresumedtheroadsouthward。AndwhenhelearntthathewasnotonthePortsmouthroad，itwasimpossibletoturnandgoback，forthatwouldbetofacehisshameagain，andsohehadtorideonbyBrookStreetupthehilltoHaslemere。AndawaytotherightthePortsmouthroadmockedathimandmadeofftoitsfastnessesamidthesunlitgreenandpurplemassesofHindhead，whereMr。GrantAllenwriteshisHillTopNovelsdaybyday。
Thesunshone，andthewidebluehillviewsandpleasantvalleysonesawoneitherhandfromthesandscarredroadway，eventhesidesoftheroaditselfsetaboutwithgreyheatherscrubandpricklymassesofgorse，andpinetreeswiththeiryear’sgrowthstillbrightgreen，againstthedarkenedneedlesofthepreviousyears，werefreshanddelightfultoMr。Hoopdriver’seyesButthebrightnessofthedayandtheday—oldsenseoffreedomfoughtanuphillfightagainsthisintolerablevexationatthatabominableencounter，andhadstilltowinitwhenhereachedHaslemere。A
greatbrownshadow，amonstroushatredoftheothermaninbrown，possessedhim。HehadconceivedthebrilliantideaofabandoningPortsmouth，oratleastgivingupthestraightwaytohisfellow—wayfarers，andofstrikingoutboldlytotheleft，eastward。Hedidnotdaretostopatanyoftheinvitingpublic—housesinthemainstreetofHaslemere，butturnedupasidewayandfoundalittlebeer—shop，theGoodHope，whereintorefreshhimself。Andthereheateandgossippedcondescendinglywithanagedlabourer，assumingthewhileforhisownprivateenjoymenttheattributesofaLostHeir，andafterwardsmountedandrodeontowardsNorthchapel，aplacewhichanumberoffinger—postsconspiredtoboom，butwhichsomeinsidiousturningpreventedhimfromattaining。
HOWMR。HOOPDRIVERREACHEDMIDHURST
XIV
Itwasoneofmyuncle’sprofoundestremarksthathumanbeingsaretheonlyunreasonablecreatures。ThisobservationwassofarjustifiedbyMr。Hoopdriverthat，afterspendingthemorningtortuouslyavoidingtheothermaninbrownandtheYoungLadyinGrey，hespentaconsiderablepartoftheafternooninthinkingabouttheYoungLadyinGrey，andcontemplatinginanoptimisticspiritthepossibilitiesofseeingheragain。Memoryandimaginationplayedroundher，sothathiscoursewaslargelydeterminedbythewindingsoftheroadhetraversed。Ofonegeneralpropositionhewasabsolutelyconvinced。"There’ssomethingJuicywrongwith’em，"saidhe——onceevenaloud。Butwhatitwashecouldnotimagine。Herecapitulatedthefacts。
"MissBeaumont——brotherandsister——andthestoppagetoquarrelandweep——itwasperplexingmaterialforayoungmanofsmallexperience。Therewasnoexertionhehatedsomuchasinference，andafteratimehegaveupanyattempttogetattherealitiesofthecase，andlethisimaginationgofree。Shouldheeverseeheragain？Supposehedid——withthatotherchapnotabout。Thevisionhefoundpleasantestwasanencounterwithher，anunexpectedencounterattheannualDancingClass’Do’atthePutneyAssemblyRooms。Somehowtheywoulddrifttogether，andhewoulddancewithheragainandagain。Itwasapleasantvision，foryoumustunderstandthatMr。Hoopdriverdanceduncommonlywell。Oragain，intheshop，asuddenradianceinthedoorway，andsheisbowedtowardstheManchestercounter。Andthentoleanoverthatcounterandmurmur，seeminglyaproposofthegoodsunderdiscussion，"IhavenotforgottenthatmorningonthePortsmouthroad，"andlower，"Inevershallforget。"
AtNorthchapelMr。Hoopdriverconsultedhismapandtookcounselandweighedhiscourseofaction。Petworthseemedapossibleresting—place，orPullborough;Midhurstseemedtoonear，andanyplaceovertheDownsbeyond，toofar，andsohemeanderedtowardsPetworth，posinghimselfperpetuallyandloitering，gatheringwildflowersandwonderingwhytheyhadnonames——forhehadneverheardofany——droppingthemfurtivelyatthesightofastranger，andgenerally’muckingabout。’Therewerepurplevetchesinthehedges，meadowsweet，honeysuckle，belatedbrambles——butthedog—roseshadalreadygone;thereweregreenandredblackberries，stellarias，anddandelions，andinanotherplacewhitedeadnettles，traveller’s—joy，clingingbedstraw，grassesflowering，whitecampions，andraggedrobins。Onecornfieldwasgloriouswithpoppies，brightscarletandpurplewhite，andthebluecorn—flowerswerebeginning。Inthelanesthetreesmetoverhead，andthewispsofhaystillhungtothestragglinghedges。Irioneofthemainroadshesteeredaperilouspassagethroughadozensurlydunoxen。Hereandtherewerelittlecottages，andpicturesquebeer—houseswiththevividbrewers’boardsofblueandscarlet，andonceabroadgreenandachurch，andanexpanseofsomehundredhousesorso。Thenhecametoapebblyrivuletthatemergedbetweenclumpsofsedgeloosestrifeandforget—me—notsunderanarchoftrees，andrippledacrosstheroad，andtherehedismounted，longingtotakeoffshoesandstockings——thosestylishchequeredstockingswerenowalldimmedwithdust——andpaddlehisleanlegsinthechucklingcheerfulwater。Butinsteadhesatinamanlyattitude，smokingacigarette，forfearlesttheYoungLadyinGreyshouldcomeglitteringroundthecorner。FortheflavouroftheYoungLadyinGreywaspresentthroughitall，mixingwiththeflowersandallthedelightofit，atouchthatmadethisseconddayquitedifferentfromthefirst，anundertoneofexpectation，anxiety，andsomethinglikeregretthatwouldnotbeignored。
Itwasonlylateinthelongeveningthat，quiteabruptly，hebegantorepent，vividlyanddecidedly，havingfledthesetwopeople。Hewasgettinghungry，andthathasacuriouseffectupontheemotionalcolouringofourminds。Themanwasasinisterbrute，Hoopdriversawinaflashofinspiration，andthegirl——shewasinsomeserioustrouble。Andhewhomighthavehelpedherhadtakenhisfirstimpulseasdecisive——andbolted。
Thisnewviewofitdepressedhimdreadfully。Whatmightnotbehappeningtohernow？Hethoughtagainofhertears。Surelyitwasmerelyhisduty，seeingthetroubleafoot，tokeephiseyeuponit。
Hebeganridingfasttogetquitofsuchselfreproaches。Hefoundhimselfinatortuoustangleofroads，andastheduskwascomingon，emerged，notatPetworthbutatEasebourne，amilefromMidhurst。"I’mgettinghungry，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，inquiringofagamekeeperinEasebournevillage。"Midhurstamile，andPetworthfive！——Thenks，I’lltakeMidhurst。"
HecameintoMidhurstbythebridgeatthewatermill，anduptheNorthStreet，andalittleshopflourishingcheerfully，thecheerfulsignofateapot，andexhibitingabrilliantarrayoftobaccos，sweets，andchildren’stoysinthewindow，struckhisfancy。Aneat，bright—eyedlittleoldladymadehimwelcome，andhewaspresentlysuppingsumptuouslyonsausagesandtea，withavisitors’bookfullofthemosthumorousandflatteringremarksaboutthelittleoldlady，inverseandprose，proppedupagainsthisteapotasheate。Regulargoodsomeofthejokeswere，andrhymesthatreadwell——evenwithyourmouthfullofsausage。Mr。
Hoopdriverformedavagueideaofdrawing"something"——forhisjudgmentonthelittleoldladywasalreadyformed。Hepicturedthelittleoldladydiscoveringitafterwards——"Mygracious！OneofthemPunchmen，"shewouldsay。Theroomhadacurtainedrecessandachestofdrawers，forpresentlyitwastobehisbedroom，andthedaypartofitwasdecoratedwithframedOddfellows’certificatesandgiltbackedbooksandportraits，andkettle—holders，andallkindsofbeautifulthingsmadeoutofwool;verycomfortableitwasindeed。Thewindowwasleadframedanddiamondpaned，andthroughitonesawthecornerofthevicarageandapleasanthillcrest，induskysilhouetteagainstthetwilightsky。Andafterthesausageshadceasedtobe，helitaRedHerringcigaretteandwentswaggeringoutintothetwilightstreet。Allshadowybluebetweenitsdarkbrickhouses，wasthestreet，withabrightyellowwindowhereandthereandsplashesofgreenandredwherethechemist’silluminationfellacrosstheroad。
ANINTERLUDE
XV
AndnowletusforaspaceleaveMr。HoopdriverintheduskyMidhurstNorthStreet，andreturntothetwofolksbesidetherailwaybridgebetweenMilfordandHaslemere。Shewasagirlofeighteen，dark，finefeatured，withbrighteyes，andarich，swiftcolourunderherwarm—tintedskin。Hereyeswereallthebrighterforthetearsthatswaminthem。Themanwasthirtythreeorfour，fair，withalongishnoseoverhanginghissandyflaxenmoustache，paleblueeyes，andaheadthatstruckoutaboveandbehind。Hestoodwithhisfeetwideapart，hishandonhiship，inanattitudethatwasequallysuggestiveofdefianceandaggression。TheyhadwatchedHoopdriveroutofsight。Theunexpectedinterruptionhadstoppedthefloodofhertears。Hetuggedhisabundantmoustacheandregardedhercalmly。Shestoodwithfaceaverted，obstinatelyresolvednottospeakfirst。"Yourbehaviour，"hesaidatlast，"makesyouconspicuous。"
Sheturneduponhim，hereyesandcheeksglowing，herhandsclenched。"YouunspeakableCAD，"shesaid，andchoked，stampedherlittlefoot，andstoodpanting。
"Unspeakablecad！Mydeargirl！PossibleIAManunspeakablecad。
Whowouldn’tbe——foryou？"
"’Deargirl！’HowDAREyouspeaktomelikethat？YOU——"
"Iwoulddoanything——"
"OH！"
Therewasamoment’spause。Shelookedsquarelyintohisface，hereyesalightwithangerandcontempt，andperhapsheflushedalittle。Hestrokedhismoustache，andbyaneffortmaintainedhiscynicalcalm。"Letusbereasonable，"hesaid。
"Reasonable！Thatmeansallthatismeanandcowardlyandsensualintheworld。"
"Youhavealwayshaditso——inyourgeneralisingway。Butletuslookatthefactsofthecase——ifthatpleasesyoubetter。"
Withanimpatientgestureshemotionedhimtogoon。
"Well，"hesaid，——"you’veeloped。"
"I’veleftmyhome，"shecorrected，withdignity。"Ileftmyhomebecauseitwasunendurable。Becausethatwoman——"
"Yes，yes。Butthepointis，youhaveelopedwithme。"
"Youcamewithme。Youpretendedtobemyfriend。Promisedtohelpmetoearnalivingbywriting。Itwasyouwhosaid，whyshouldn’tamanandwomanbefriends？Andnowyoudare——youdare——"
"Really，Jessie，thisposeofyours，thisinjuredinnocence——"
"Iwillgoback。Iforbidyou——Iforbidyoutostandintheway——"
"Onemoment。Ihavealwaysthoughtthatmylittlepupilwasatleastclear—headed。Youdon’tknoweverythingyet，youknow。
Listentomeforamoment。"
"Haven’tIbeenlistening？Andyouhaveonlyinsultedme。Youwhodaredonlytotalkoffriendship，whoscarcelydaredhintatanythingbeyond。"
"Butyoutookthehints，nevertheless。Youknew。YouKNEW。Andyoudidnotmind。MIND！Youlikedit。Itwasthefunofthewholethingforyou。ThatIlovedyou，andcouldnotspeaktoyou。Youplayedwithit——"
"Youhavesaidallthatbefore。Doyouthinkthatjustifiesyou？"
"Thatisn’tall。Imadeupmymind——Well，tomakethegamemoreeven。AndsoIsuggestedtoyouandjoinedwithyouinthisexpeditionofyours，inventedasisteratMidhurst——Itellyou，I
HAVEN’Tasister！Foroneobject——"
"Well？"
"Tocompromiseyou。"
Shestarted。Thatwasanewwayofputtingit。Forhalfaminuteneitherspoke。Thenshebeganhalfdefiantly："MuchIamcompromised。Ofcourse——Ihavemadeafoolofmyself——"
"Mydeargirl，youarestillonthesunnysideofeighteen，andyouknowverylittleofthisworld。Lessthanyouthink。Butyouwilllearn。Beforeyouwriteallthosenovelswehavetalkedabout，youwillhavetolearn。Andthat’sonepoint——"Hehesitated。"YoustartedandblushedwhenthemanatbreakfastcalledyouMa’am。Youthoughtitafunnymistake，butyoudidnotsayanythingbecausehewasyoungandnervous——andbesides，thethoughtofbeingmywifeoffendedyourmodesty。Youdidn’tcaretonoticeit。But——yousee;IgaveyournameasMRS。Beaumont。"
Helookedalmostapologetic，inspiteofhiscynicalpose。"MRS。
Beaumont，"herepeated，pullinghisflaxenmoustacheandwatchingtheeffect。
Shelookedintohiseyesspeechless。"Iamlearningfast，"shesaidslowly，atlast。
Hethoughtthetimehadcomeforanemotionalattack。"Jessie，"
hesaid，withasuddenchangeofvoice，"Iknowallthisismean，isvillanous。ButdoyouthinkthatIhavedoneallthisscheming，allthissubterfuge，foranyotherobject——"
Shedidnotseemtolistentohiswords。"Ishallridehome，"shesaidabruptly。
"Toher？"
Shewinced。
"Justthink，"saidhe，"whatshecouldsaytoyouafterthis。"
"Anyhow，Ishallleaveyounow。"
"Yes？Andgo——"
"Gosomewheretoearnmyliving，tobeafreewoman，tolivewithoutconventionality——"
"Mydeargirl，doletusbecynical。Youhaven’tmoneyandyouhaven’tcredit。Noonewouldtakeyouin。It’soneoftwothings：
gobacktoyourstepmother，or——trusttome。"
"HowCANI？"
"Thenyoumustgobacktoher。"Hepausedmomentarily，toletthisconsiderationhaveitsproperweight。"Jessie，IdidnotmeantosaythethingsIdid。Uponmyhonour，IlostmyheadwhenIspokeso。Ifyouwill，forgiveme。Iamaman。Icouldnothelpmyself。Forgiveme，andIpromiseyou——"
"HowcanItrustyou？"
"Tryme。Icanassureyou——"
Sheregardedhimdistrustfully。
"Atanyrate，rideonwithmenow。Surelywehavebeenintheshadowofthishorriblebridgelongenough。"
"Oh！letmethink，"shesaid，halfturningfromhimandpressingherhandtoherbrow。
"THINK！Lookhere，Jessie。Itisteno’clock。Shallwecallatruceuntilone？"
Shehesitated，demandedadefinitionofthetruce，andatlastagreed。
Theymounted，androdeoninsilence，throughthesunlightandtheheather。Bothwereextremelyuncomfortableanddisappointed。
Shewaspale，dividedbetweenfearandanger。Sheperceivedshewasinascrape，andtriedinvaintothinkofawayofescape。
Onlyonetangiblethingwouldkeepinhermind，tryasshewouldtoignoreit。Thatwasthequiteirrelevantfactthathisheadwassingularlylikeanalbinococoanut。He，too，feltthwarted。
Hefeltthatthisromanticbusinessofseductionwas，afterall，unexpectedlytame。Butthiswasonlythebeginning。Atanyrate，everydayshespentwithhimwasadaygained。Perhapsthingslookedworsethantheywere;thatwassomeconsolation。
OFTHEARTIFICIALINMAN，ANDOFTHEZEITGEIST
XVI
Youhaveseenthesetwoyoungpeople——Bechamel，by—the—bye，istheman’sname，andthegirl’sisJessieMilton——fromtheoutside;youhaveheardthemtalking;theyridenowsidebyside（butnottooclosetogether，andinanuneasysilence）towardsHaslemere;andthischapterwillconcernitselfwiththosecuriouslittlecouncilchambersinsidetheirskulls，wheretheirmotivesareinsessionandtheiractsareconsideredandpassed。
Butfirstawordconcerningwigsandfalseteeth。Somejester，enlargingupontheincreaseofbaldheadsandpurblindpeople，hasdeducedawonderfulfutureforthechildrenofmen。Man，hesaid，wasnowadaysahairlesscreaturebyfortyorfifty，andforhairwegavehimawig;shrivelled，andwepaddedhim;toothless，andlo！falseteethsetingold。Didhelosealimb，andafine，new，artificialonewasathisdisposal;getindigestion，andtohandwasartificialdigestivefluidorbileorpancreatine，asthecasemightbe。Complexions，too，werereplaceable，spectaclessupersededaninefficienteye—lens，andimperceptiblefalsediaphragmswerethrustintothefailingear。Sohewentoverouranatomies，until，atlast，hehadconjuredupaweirdthingofshredsandpatches，asimulacrum，anartificialbodyofaman，withbutadoubtfulgermoflivingfleshlurkingsomewhereinhisrecesses。Tothat，heheld，wewerecoming。
Howfarsuchoddsubstitutionforthebodyispossibleneednotconcernusnow。Butthedevil，speakingbythelipsofMr。
RudyardKipling，hathitthatinthecaseofoneTomlinson，thething，sofarasthesoulisconcerned，hasalreadybeenaccomplished。Timewaswhenmenhadsimplesouls，desiresasnaturalastheireyes，alittlereasonablephilanthropy，alittlereasonablephiloprogenitiveness，hunger，andatasteforgoodliving，adecent，personalvanity，ahealthy，satisfyingpugnacity，andsoforth。Butnowwearetaughtanddisciplinedforyearsandyears，andthereafterwereadandreadforallthetimesomestrenuous，nerve—destroyingbusinesspermits。Pedagogichypnotists，pulpitandplatformhypnotists，book—writinghypnotists，newspaper—writinghypnotists，areatusall。Thissugaryouareeating，theytellus，isink，andforthwithwerejectitwithinfinitedisgust。ThisblackdraughtofunrequitedtoilisTrueHappiness，anddownitgoeswitheverysymptomofpleasure。ThisIbsen，theysay，isdullpastbelieving，andweyawnandstretchbeyondendurance。Pardon！theyinterrupt，butthisIbsenisdeepanddelightful，andweviewithoneanotherinanexcessofentertainment。Andwhenweopentheheadsofthesetwoyoungpeople，wefind，notastraightforwardmotiveonthesurfaceanywhere;wefind，indeed，notasoulsomuchasanoversoul，azeitgeist，acongestionofacquiredideas，ahighway’sfeastoffine，confusedthinking。ThegirlisresolutetoLiveHerOwnLife，aphraseyoumayhaveheardbefore，andthemanhasaprettypervertedambitiontobeacynicalartisticpersonoftheverycalmestdescription。HeishopingfortheawakeningofPassioninher，amongotherthings。HeknowsPassionoughttoawaken，fromthetext—bookshehasstudied。Heknowssheadmireshisgenius，butheisunawarethatshedoesnotadmirehishead。HeisquiteadistinguishedartcriticinLondon，andhemetheratthatcelebratedladynovelist’s，herstepmother，andhereyouhavethemwellembarkedupontheAdventure。Bothareinthefirststageofrepentance，whichconsists，asyouhaveprobablyfoundforyourself，insettingyourteethhardandsaying’"IWILLgoon。"
Things，yousee，havejarredalittle，andtheyrideontheirwaytogetherwithacertainaloofnessofmannerthatpromisesillfortheorthodoxdevelopmentoftheAdventure。Heperceiveshewastooprecipitate。Buthefeelshishonourisinvolved，andmeditatesthedevelopmentofanewattack。Andthegirl？Sheisunawakened。Hermotivesarebookish，writtenbyahaphazardsyndicateofauthors，novelists，andbiographers，onherwhiteinexperience。Anartificialoversoulsheis，thatmaypresentlybreakdownandrevealahumanbeingbeneathit。Sheisstillinthatschoolgirlphasewhenatalkativeoldmanismoreinterestingthanatongue—tiedyoungone，andwhentobeaneminentmathematician，say，ortoeditadailypaper，seemsasfineanambitionasanygirlneedaspireto。Bechanielwastohavehelpedhertoattainthatinthemostexpeditiousmanner，andhereheisbesideher，talkingenigmaticalphrasesaboutpassion，lookingatherwiththeoddestexpression，andonce，andthatwashisgravestoffence，offeringtokissher。Atanyratehehasapologised。Shestillscarcelyrealises，yousee，thescrapeshehasgotinto。
THEENCOUNTERATMIDHURST
XVII
WeleftMr。Hoopdriveratthedoorofthelittletea，toy，andtobaccoshop。YoumustnotthinkthatastrainisputoncoincidencewhenItellyouthatnextdoortoMrs。Wardor’s——thatwasthenameofthebright—eyed，littleoldladywithwhomMr。
Hoopdriverhadstopped——istheAngelHotel，andintheAngelHotel，onthenightthatMr。HoopdriverreachedMidhurst，were’Mr。’and’Miss’Beaumont，ourBechamelandJessieMilton。
Indeed，itwasahighlyprobablething;forifonegoesthroughGuildford，thechoiceofsouthwardroadsislimited;youmaygobyPetersfieldtoPortsmouth，orbyMidhursttoChichester，inadditiontowhichhighwaysthereisnothingforitbutminorroadwaystoPetworthorPulborough，andcross—cutsBrightonward。
AndcomingtoMidhurstfromthenorth，theAngel’sentranceliesyawningtoengulfyourhighlyrespectablecyclists，whileMrs。
Wardor’sgenialteapotisequallyattractivetothosewhoweightheirmeansinlittlescales。ButtopeopleunfamiliarwiththeSussexroads——andsuchwerethethreepersonsofthisstory——theconvergencedidnotappeartobesoinevitable。
Bechamel，tighteninghischainintheAngelyardafterdinner，wasthefirsttobeawareoftheirreunion。HesawHoopdriverwalkslowlyacrossthegateway，hisheadenhaloedincigarettesmoke，andpassoutofsightupthestreet。Incontinentlyamassofcloudyuneasiness，thathadbeenpartlydispelledduringtheday，reappearedandconcentratedrapidlyintodefinitesuspicion。
Heputhisscrewhammerintohispocketandwalkedthroughthearchwayintothestreet，tosettlethebusinessforthwith，forhepridedhimselfonhisdecision。Hoopdriverwasmerelypromenading，andtheymetfacetoface。
Atthesightofhisadversary，somethingbetweendisgustandlaughterseizedMr。Hoopdriverandforamomentdestroyedhisanimosity。"’Ereweareagain！"hesaid，laughinginsincerelyinasuddenoutbreakattheperversityofchance。
TheothermaninbrownstoppedshortinMr。Hoopdriver’sway，staring。Thenhisfaceassumedanexpressionofdangerouscivility。"Isitanyinformationtoyou，"hesaid，withimmensepoliteness，"whenIremarkthatyouarefollowingus？"
Mr。Hoopdriver，forsomeoccultreason，resistedhischaracteristicimpulsetoapologise。Hewantedtoannoy。theothermaninbrown，andasentencethathadcomeintohisheadinapreviousrehearsalcroppedupappropriately。"Sincewhen，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，catchinghisbreath，yetbringingthequestionoutvaliantly，nevertheless，——"sincewhen’aveyoupurchasedthecountyofSussex？"
"MayIpointout，"saidtheothermaninbrown，"thatIobject——
weobjectnotonlytoyourproximitytous。Tobefrank——youappeartobefollowingus——withanobject。"
"Youcanalways，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，"turnroundifyoudon’tlikeit，andgobackthewayyoucame。"
"Oh—o！"saidtheothermaninbrown。"THAT’Sit！Ithoughtasmuch。"
"Didyou？"saidMr。Hoopdriver，quiteatsea，butrisingpluckilytotheunknownoccasion。Whatwasthemandrivingat？
"Isee，"saidtheotherman。"Isee。Ihalfsuspected——"Hismannerchangedabruptlytoaqualitysuspiciouslyfriendly。"Yes—
—awordwithyou。Youwill，Ihope，givemetenminutes。"
WonderfulthingsweredawningonMr。Hoopdriver。Whatdidtheothermantakehimfor？Hereatlastwasreality！Hehesitated。
Thenhethoughtofanadmirablephrase。"You’avesomecommunication——"
"We’llcallitacommunication，"saidtheotherman。
"Icanspareyouthetenminutes，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，withdignity。
"Thisway，then，"saidtheothermaninbrown，andtheywalkedslowlydowntheNorthStreettowardstheGrammarSchool。Therewas，perhaps，thirtyseconds’silence。Theothermanstrokedhismoustachenervously。Mr。Hoopdriver’sdramaticinstinctswerenowfullyawake。Hedidnotquiteunderstandinwhatrolehewascast，butitwasevidentlysomethingdarkandmysterious。DoctorConanDoyle，VictorHugo，andAlexanderDumaswerewellwithinMr。Hoopdriver’srangeofreading，andhehadnotreadthemfornothing。
"Iwillbeperfectlyfrankwithyou，"saidtheothermaninbrown。
"Franknessisalwaysthebestcourse，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Well，then——whothedevilsetyouonthisbusiness？"
"SetmeONthisbusiness？"
"Don’tpretendtobestupid。Who’syouremployer？Whoengagedyouforthisjob？"
"Well，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，confused。"No——Ican’tsay。"
"Quitesure？"Theothermaninbrownglancedmeaninglydownathishand，andMr。Hoopdriver，followinghimmechanically，sawayellowmillededgeglitteringinthetwilight。Nowyourshopassistantisjustabovethetip—receivingclass，andonlyjustaboveit——sothatheisacutelysensitiveonthepoint。
Mr。Hoopdriverflushedhotly，andhiseyeswereangryashemetthoseoftheothermaninbrown。"Stowit！"saidMr。Hoopdriver，stoppingandfacingthetempter。
"What！"saidtheothermaninbrown，surprised。"Eigh？"Andsosayinghestoweditinhisbreechespocket。
"D’yerthinkI’mtobebribed？"saidMr。Hoopdriver，whoseimaginationwasrapidlyexpandingthesituation。"ByGosh！I’dfollowyounow——"
"Mydearsir，"saidtheothermaninbrown，"Ibegyourpardon。I
misunderstoodyou。Ireallybegyourpardon。Letuswalkon。Inyourprofession——"
"Whathaveyougottosayagainstmyprofession？"
"Well，really，youknow。Therearedetectivesofaninferiordescription——watchers。Thewholeclass。PrivateInquiry——Ididnotrealise——Ireallytrustyouwilloverlookwhatwas，afterall——youmustadmit——anaturalindiscretion。Menofhonourarenotsocommonintheworld——inanyprofession。"
ItwasluckyforMr。HoopdriverthatinMidhursttheydonotlightthelampsinthesummertime，ortheonetheywerepassinghadbetrayedhim。Asitwas，hehadtosnatchsuddenlyathismoustacheandtugfiercelyatit，toconcealthefurioustumultofexultation，thepassionoflaughter，thatcameboilingup。
Detective！EvenintheshadowBechamelsawthatalaughwasstifled，butheputitdowntothefactthatthephrase"menofhonour"amusedhisinterlocutor。"He’llcomeroundyet，"saidBechameltohimself。"He’ssimplyholdingoutforafiver。"Hecoughed。
"Idon’tseethatithurtsyoutotellmewhoyouremployeris。"
"Don’tyou？Ido。"
"Prompt，"saidBechamel，appreciatively。"Nowhere’sthethingI
wanttoputtoyou——thekernelofthewholebusiness。Youneednotanswerifyoudon’twantto。There’snoharmdoneinmytellingyouwhatIwanttoknow。Areyouemployedtowatchme——orMissMilton？"
"I’mnottheleakysort，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，keepingthesecrethedidnotknowwithimmenseenjoyment。MissMilton！Thatwashername。Perhapshe’dtellsomemore。"It’snogoodpumping。Isthatallyou’reafter？"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Bechamelrespectedhimselfforhisdiplomaticgifts。Hetriedtocatcharemarkbythrowingoutaconfidence。"Itakeittherearetwopeopleconcernedinwatchingthisaffair。"
"Who’stheother？"saidMr。Hoopdriver，calmly，butcontrollingwithenormousinternaltensionhisselfappreciation。"Who’stheother？"wasreallybrilliant，hethought。
"There’smywifeandHERstepmother。"
"Andyouwanttoknowwhichitis？"
"Yes，"saidBechamel。
"Well——arst’em！"saidMr。Hoopdriver，hisexultationgettingthebetterofhim，andwithaprettyconsciousnessofrepartee。"Arst’emboth。"
Bechamelturnedimpatiently。Thenhemadealasteffort。"I’dgiveafive—poundnotetoknowjusttheprecisestateofaffairs，"hesaid。
"Itoldyoutostowthat，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，inathreateningtone。Andaddedwithperfecttruthandamagnificentmystery，"Youdon’tquiteunderstandwhoyou’redealingwith。Butyouwill！"HespokewithsuchconvictionthathehalfbelievedthatthatdefectiveofficeofhisinLondon——BakerStreet，infact——
reallyexisted。
Withthattheinterviewterminated。BechamelwentbacktotheAngel，perturbed。"Hangdetectives！"Itwasn’tthekindofthinghehadanticipatedatall。Hoopdriver，withroundeyesandawonderingsmile，walkeddowntowherethemillwatersglitteredinthemoonlight，andaftermeditatingovertheparapetofthebridgeforaspace，withoccasionalmurmursof，"PrivateInquiry"
andthelike，returned，withmysteryeveninhispaces，towardsthetown。
XVIII
Thatgleewhichfindsexpressioninraisedeyebrowsandlong，lowwhistlingnoiseswasuponMr。Hoopdriver。ForaspaceheforgotthetearsoftheYoungLadyinGrey。Herewasanewgame！——andarealone。Mr。HoopdriverasaPrivateInquiryAgent，aSherlockHolmesinfact，keepingthesetwopeople’underobservation。’HewalkedslowlybackfromthebridgeuntilhewasoppositetheAngel，andstoodfortenminutes，perhaps，contemplatingthatestablishmentandenjoyingallthestrangesensationsofbeingthiswonderful，thismysteriousandterriblething。Everythingfellintoplaceinhisscheme。Hehad，ofcourse，byakindofinstinct，assumedthedisguiseofacyclist，pickedupthefirstoldcrockhecameacrossasameansofpursuit。’Noexpensewastobespared。’
Thenhetriedtounderstandwhatitwasinparticularthathewasobserving。"Mywife"——"HERstepmother！"Thenherememberedherswimmingeyes。Abruptlycameawaveofangerthatsurprisedhim，washedawaythedetectivesuperstructure，andlefthimplainMr。
Hoopdriver。Thismaninbrown，withhisconfidentmanner，andhisprofferedhalfsovereign（damnhim！）wasuptonogood，elsewhyshouldheobjecttobeingwatched？Hewasmarried！Shewasnothissister。Hebegantounderstand。AhorriblesuspicionofthestateofaffairscameintoMr。Hoopdriver’shead。SurelyithadnotcometoTHAT。Hewasadetective！——hewouldfindout。Howwasittobedone？Hebegantosubmitsketchesonapprovaltohimself。ItrequiredaneffortbeforehecouldwalkintotheAngelbar。"Alemonadeandbitter，please，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Heclearedhisthroat。"AreMr。andMrs。Bowlongstoppinghere？"
"What，agentlemanandayounglady——onbicycles？"
"Fairlyyoung——amarriedcouple。"
"No，"saidthebarmaid，atalkativepersonofampledimensions。
"There’snomarriedcouplesstoppinghere。Butthere’saMr。andMissBEAUMONT。"Shespeltitforprecision。"Sureyou’vegotthenameright，youngman？"
"Quite，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Beaumontthereis，butnooneofthenameof——Whatwasthenameyougave？"
"Bowlong，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"No，thereain’tnoBowlong，"saidthebarmaid，takingupaglassclothandadryingtumblerandbeginningtopolishthelatter。"Firstoff，IthoughtyoumightbeaskingforBeaumont——
thenamesbeingsimilar。Wereyouexpectingthemonbicycles？"
"Yes——theysaidtheyMIGHTbeinMidhursttonight。"
"P’rapsthey’llcomepresently。Beaumont’shere，butnoBowlong。
SurethatBeaumontain’tthename？"
"Certain，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"It’scuriousthenamesbeingsoalike。Ithoughtp’raps——"
Andsotheyconversedatsomelength，Mr。Hoopdriverdelightedtofindhishorriblesuspiciondisposedof。Thebarmaidhavinglistenedawhileatthestaircasevolunteeredsomeparticularsoftheyoungcoupleupstairs。Hermodestywasmuchimpressedbytheyounglady’scostume，sosheintimated，andMr。Hoopdriverwhisperedthebadinagenaturaltotheoccasion，atwhichshewascoquettishlyshocked。"There’llbenoknowingwhichiswhich，inayearortwo，"saidthebarmaid。"Andhermannertoo！Shegotoffhermachineandgiveit’imtostickupagainstthekerb，andinshemarched。’Iandmybrother，’saysshe，’wanttostophereto—night。Mybrotherdoesn’tmindwhatkindofroom’e’as，butI
wantaroomwithagoodview，ifthere’sonetobegot，’saysshe。Hecomeshurryinginafterandlooksather。’I’vesettledtherooms，’shesays，and’esays’damn！’justlikethat。Icanfancymybrotherlettingmebosstheshowlikethat。"
"Idessayyoudo，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，"ifthetruthwasknown。"
Thebarmaidlookeddown，smiledandshookherhead，putdownthetumbler，polished，andtookupanotherthathadbeendraining，andshookthedropsofwaterintoherlittlezincsink。
"She’llbeanicelittlelottomarry，"saidthebarmaid。"She’llbewearingthe——well，b—dashes，asthesayin’is。Ican’tthinkwhatgirlsiscomin’to。"
ThisdepreciationoftheYoungLadyinGreywashardlytoHoopdriver’staste。
"Fashion，"saidhe，takinguphischange。"Fashionisallthegowithyouladies——andalwayswas。You’llbewearing’emyourselfbeforeacoupleofyearsisout。"
"Nicethey’dlookonmyfigger，"saidthebarmaid，withatitter。
"No——Iain’toneofyourfashionablesort。Graciousno！I
shouldn’tfeelasifI’danythingonme，notmorethanifI’dforgot——Well，there！I’mtalking。"Sheputdowntheglassabruptly。"IdessayI’moldfashioned，"shesaid，andwalkedhummingdownthebar。
"Notyou，"saidMr。Hoopdriver。Hewaiteduntilhecaughthereye，thenwithhisnativecourtesysmiled，raisedhiscap，andwishedhergoodevening。
XIX
ThenMr。Hoopdriverreturnedtothelittleroomwiththelead—framedwindowswherehehaddined，andwherethebedwasnowcomfortablymade，satdownontheboxunderthewindow，staredatthemoonrisingontheshiningvicarageroof，andtriedtocollecthisthoughts。Howtheywhirledatfirst！Itwaspastten，andmostofMidhurstwastuckedawayinbed，someoneupthestreetwaslearningtheviolin，atrareintervalsabelatedinhabitanthurriedhomeandwoketheechoes，andacorncrakekeptupabusychurninginthevicaragegarden。Theskywasdeepblue，withastillluminousafterglowalongthehlackedgeofthehill，andthewhitemoonoverhead，saveforacoupleofyellowstars，hadtheskytoherself。
Atfirsthisthoughtswerekinetic，ofdeedsandnotrelationships。Therewasthismalefactor，andhisvictim，andithadfallenonMr。Hoopdrivertotakeahandinthegame。HEwasmarried。Didsheknowhewasmarried？NeverforamomentdidathoughtofevilconcerninghercrossHoopdriver’smind。Simple—
mindedpeopleseequestionsofmoralssomuchbetterthansuperiorpersons——whohavereadandthoughtthemselvescomplextoimpotence。Hehadheardhervoice，seenthefranklightinhereyes，andshehadbeenweeping——thatsufficed。Therightsofthecasehehadn’tproperlygrasped。Buthewould。Andthatsmirking—
—well，swinewasthemildestforhim。Herecalledtheexceedinglyunpleasantincidentoftherailwaybridge。"Thinwewon’tdetainyer，thenks，"saidMr。Hoopdriver，aloud，inastrange，unnatural，contemptiblevoice，supposedtorepresentthatofBechamel。"Oh，theBEGGAR！I’llbelevelwithhimyet。He’safraidofusdetectives——thatI’llSWEAR。"（IfMrs。Wardorshouldchancetobeontheothersideofthedoorwithinearshot，wellandgood。）
Foraspacehemeditatedchastisementsandrevenges，physicalimpossibilitiesforthemostpart，——BechamelstaggeringheadlongfromtheimpactofMr。Hoopdriver’slarge，but，totellthetruth，illsupportedfist，Bechamel’sfivefeetnineofheightliftedfromthegroundandquiveringunderavigorouslyappliedhorsewhip。Sopleasantwassuchdreaming，thatMr。Hoopdriver’speakedfaceunderthemoonlightwastransfigured。Onemighthavepairedhimwiththatwell—knownanduniversallyadmiredtriumph，’TheSoul’sAwakening，’sosweetwashisecstasy。Andpresentlywithhisthirstforrevengegluttedbysixorsevenviolentassaults，aduelandtwovigorousmurders，hismindcameroundtotheYoungLadyinGreyagain。
Shewasapluckyonetoo。HewentovertheincidentthebarmaidattheAngelhaddescribedtohim。Histhoughtsceasedtobeatorrent，smootheddowntoamirrorinwhichshewasreflectedwithinfiniteclearnessanddetail。He’dnevermetanythinglikeherbefore。Fancythatbolsterofabarmaidbeingdressedinthatway！Hewhuffedacontemptuouslaugh。Hecomparedhercolour，hervigour，hervoice，withtheYoungLadiesinBusinesswithwhomhislothadbeencast。Evenintearsshewasbeautiful，morebeautifulindeedtohim，foritmadeherseemsofterandweaker，moreaccessible。Andsuchweepingashehadseenbeforehadbeensomuchamatterofdampwhitefaces，rednoses，andhaircomingoutofcurl。Yourdraper’sassistantbecomessomethingofajudgeofweeping，becauseweepingisthecustomofallYoungLadiesinBusiness，whenforanyreasontheirservicesaredispensedwith。
Shecouldweep——and（byGosh！）shecouldsmile。HEknewthat，andrevertingtoactingabruptly，hesmiledconfidentiallyatthepuckeredpallorofthemoon。
ItisdifficulttosayhowlongMr。Hoopdriver’spensivenesslasted。Itseemedalongtimebeforehisthoughtsofactionreturned。Thenherememberedhewasa’watcher’;thatto—morrowhemustbebusy。Itwouldbeincharactertomakenotes，andhepulledouthislittlenote—book。Withthatinhandhefella—thinkingagain。Wouldthatchaptellherthe’teckswereafterthem？Ifso，wouldshebeasanxioustogetawayasHEwas？Hemustbeonthealert。Ifpossiblehemustspeaktoher。Justasignificantword，"Yourfriend——trustme！"——Itoccurredtohimthatto—morrowthesefugitivesmightriseearlytoescape。Atthathethoughtofthetimeandfounditwashalf—pasteleven。
"Lord！"saidhe，"ImustseethatIwake。"Heyawnedandrose。
Theblindwasup，andhepulledbackthelittlechintzcurtainstoletthesunlightstrikeacrosstothebed，hunghiswatchwithingoodviewofhispillow，onanailthatsupportedakettle—holder，andsatdownonhisbedtoundress。Helayawakeforalittlewhilethinkingofthewonderfulpossibilitiesofthemorrow，andthencehepassedgloriouslyintothewonderlandofdreams。
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