"ComradeGregory，"hesaid，"Isupposethismanisadelegate？"
Gregory，takenbysurprise，lookeddownandmutteredthenameofSyme;butSymerepliedalmostpertly——
"Iamgladtoseethatyourgateiswellenoughguardedtomakeithardforanyonetobeherewhowasnotadelegate。"
Thebrowofthelittlemanwiththeblackbeardwas，however，stillcontractedwithsomethinglikesuspicion。
"Whatbranchdoyourepresent？"heaskedsharply。
"Ishouldhardlycallitabranch，"saidSyme，laughing;"Ishouldcallitattheveryleastaroot。"
"Whatdoyoumean？"
"Thefactis，"saidSymeserenely，"thetruthisIamaSabbatarian。IhavebeenspeciallysentheretoseethatyoushowadueobservanceofSunday。"
Thelittlemandroppedoneofhispapers，andaflickeroffearwentoverallthefacesofthegroup。EvidentlytheawfulPresident，whosenamewasSunday，didsometimessenddownsuchirregularambassadorstosuchbranchmeetings。
"Well，comrade，"saidthemanwiththepapersafterapause，"I
supposewe’dbettergiveyouaseatinthemeeting？"
"Ifyouaskmyadviceasafriend，"saidSymewithseverebenevolence，"Ithinkyou’dbetter。"
WhenGregoryheardthedangerousdialogueend，withasuddensafetyforhisrival，heroseabruptlyandpacedthefloorinpainfulthought。Hewas，indeed，inanagonyofdiplomacy。ItwasclearthatSyme’sinspiredimpudencewaslikelytobringhimoutofallmerelyaccidentaldilemmas。Littlewastobehopedfromthem。HecouldnothimselfbetraySyme，partlyfromhonour，butpartlyalsobecause，ifhebetrayedhimandforsomereasonfailedtodestroyhim，theSymewhoescapedwouldbeaSymefreedfromallobligationofsecrecy，aSymewhowouldsimplywalktothenearestpolicestation。Afterall，itwasonlyonenight’sdiscussion，andonlyonedetectivewhowouldknowofit。Hewouldletoutaslittleaspossibleoftheirplansthatnight，andthenletSymego，andchanceit。
Hestrodeacrosstothegroupofanarchists，whichwasalreadydistributingitselfalongthebenches。
"Ithinkitistimewebegan，"hesaid;"thesteam—tugiswaitingontheriveralready。ImovethatComradeButtonstakesthechair。"
Thisbeingapprovedbyashowofhands，thelittlemanwiththepapersslippedintothepresidentialseat。
"Comrades，"hebegan，assharpasapistol—shot，"ourmeetingtonightisimportant，thoughitneednotbelong。ThisbranchhasalwayshadthehonourofelectingThursdaysfortheCentralEuropeanCouncil。WehaveelectedmanyandsplendidThursdays。Wealllamentthesaddeceaseoftheheroicworkerwhooccupiedthepostuntillastweek。Asyouknow，hisservicestothecausewereconsiderable。HeorganisedthegreatdynamitecoupofBrightonwhich，underhappiercircumstances，oughttohavekilledeverybodyonthepier。Asyoualsoknow，hisdeathwasasself—denyingashislife，forhediedthroughhisfaithinahygienicmixtureofchalkandwaterasasubstituteformilk，whichbeverageheregardedasbarbaric，andasinvolvingcrueltytothecow。
Cruelty，oranythingapproachingtocruelty，revoltedhimalways。
Butitisnottoacclaimhisvirtuesthatwearemet，butforahardertask。Itisdifficultproperlytopraisehisqualities，butitismoredifficulttoreplacethem。Uponyou，comrades，itdevolvesthiseveningtochooseoutofthecompanypresentthemanwhoshallbeThursday。IfanycomradesuggestsanameIwillputittothevote。Ifnocomradesuggestsaname，Icanonlytellmyselfthatthatdeardynamiter，whoisgonefromus，hascarriedintotheunknowableabyssesthelastsecretofhisvirtueandhisinnocence。"
Therewasastirofalmostinaudibleapplause，suchasissometimesheardinchurch。Thenalargeoldman，withalongandvenerablewhitebeard，perhapstheonlyrealworking—manpresent，roselumberinglyandsaid——
"ImovethatComradeGregorybeelectedThursday，"andsatlumberinglydownagain。
"Doesanyonesecond？"askedthechairman。
Alittlemanwithavelvetcoatandpointedbeardseconded。
"BeforeIputthemattertothevote，"saidthechairman，"IwillcallonComradeGregorytomakeastatement。"
Gregoryroseamidagreatrumbleofapplause。Hisfacewasdeadlypale，sothatbycontrasthisqueerredhairlookedalmostscarlet。
Buthewassmilingandaltogetheratease。Hehadmadeuphismind，andhesawhisbestpolicyquiteplaininfrontofhimlikeawhiteroad。Hisbestchancewastomakeasoftenedandambiguousspeech，suchaswouldleaveonthedetective’smindtheimpressionthattheanarchistbrotherhoodwasaverymildaffairafterall。Hebelievedinhisownliterarypower，hiscapacityforsuggestingfineshadesandpickingperfectwords。Hethoughtthatwithcarehecouldsucceed，inspiteofallthepeoplearoundhim，inconveyinganimpressionoftheinstitution，subtlyanddelicatelyfalse。Symehadoncethoughtthatanarchists，underalltheirbravado，wereonlyplayingthefool。Couldhenotnow，inthehourofperil，makeSymethinksoagain？
"Comrades，"beganGregory，inalowbutpenetratingvoice，"itisnotnecessaryformetotellyouwhatismypolicy，foritisyourpolicyalso。Ourbeliefhasbeenslandered，ithasbeendisfigured，ithasbeenutterlyconfusedandconcealed，butithasneverbeenaltered。Thosewhotalkaboutanarchismanditsdangersgoeverywhereandanywheretogettheirinformation，excepttous，excepttothefountainhead。Theylearnaboutanarchistsfromsixpennynovels;theylearnaboutanarchistsfromtradesmen’snewspapers;theylearnaboutanarchistsfromAllySloper’sHalf—HolidayandtheSportingTimes。Theyneverlearnaboutanarchistsfromanarchists。WehavenochanceofdenyingthemountainousslanderswhichareheapeduponourheadsfromoneendofEuropetoanother。Themanwhohasalwaysheardthatwearewalkingplagueshasneverheardourreply。Iknowthathewillnothearittonight，thoughmypassionweretorendtheroof。Foritisdeep，deepundertheearththatthepersecutedarepermittedtoassemble，astheChristiansassembledintheCatacombs。Butif，bysomeincredibleaccident，therewereheretonightamanwhoallhislifehadthusimmenselymisunderstoodus，Iwouldputthisquestiontohim：’WhenthoseChristiansmetinthoseCatacombs，whatsortofmoralreputationhadtheyinthestreetsabove？WhattalesweretoldoftheiratrocitiesbyoneeducatedRomantoanother？Suppose’
（Iwouldsaytohim），’supposethatweareonlyrepeatingthatstillmysteriousparadoxofhistory。SupposeweseemasshockingastheChristiansbecausewearereallyasharmlessastheChristians。
SupposeweseemasmadastheChristiansbecausewearereallyasmeek。"’
Theapplausethathadgreetedtheopeningsentenceshadbeengraduallygrowingfainter，andatthelastworditstoppedsuddenly。Intheabruptsilence，themanwiththevelvetjacketsaid，inahigh，squeakyvoice——
"I’mnotmeek！"
"ComradeWitherspoontellsus，"resumedGregory，"thatheisnotmeek。Ah，howlittleheknowshimself！Hiswordsare，indeed，extravagant;hisappearanceisferocious，andeven（toanordinarytaste）unattractive。Butonlytheeyeofafriendshipasdeepanddelicateasminecanperceivethedeepfoundationofsolidmeeknesswhichliesatthebaseofhim，toodeepevenforhimselftosee。I
repeat，wearethetrueearlyChristians，onlythatwecometoolate。Wearesimple，astheyreveresimple——lookatComradeWitherspoon。Wearemodest，astheyweremodest——lookatme。Wearemerciful——"
"No，no！"calledoutMr。Witherspoonwiththevelvetjacket。
"Isaywearemerciful，"repeatedGregoryfuriously，"astheearlyChristiansweremerciful。Yetthisdidnotpreventtheirbeingaccusedofeatinghumanflesh。Wedonoteathumanflesh——"
"Shame！"criedWitherspoon。"Whynot？"
"ComradeWitherspoon，"saidGregory，withafeverishgaiety，"isanxioustoknowwhynobodyeatshim（laughter）。Inoursociety，atanyrate，whichloveshimsincerely，whichisfoundeduponlove——"
"No，no！"saidWitherspoon，"downwithlove。"
"Whichisfoundeduponlove，"repeatedGregory，grindinghisteeth，"therewillbenodifficultyabouttheaimswhichweshallpursueasabody，orwhichIshouldpursuewereIchosenastherepresentativeofthatbody。Superblycarelessoftheslandersthatrepresentusasassassinsandenemiesofhumansociety，weshallpursuewithmoralcourageandquietintellectualpressure，thepermanentidealsofbrotherhoodandsimplicity。"
Gregoryresumedhisseatandpassedhishandacrosshisforehead。
Thesilencewassuddenandawkward，butthechairmanroselikeanautomaton，andsaidinacolourlessvoice——
"DoesanyoneopposetheelectionofComradeGregory？"
Theassemblyseemedvagueandsub—consciouslydisappointed，andComradeWitherspoonmovedrestlesslyonhisseatandmutteredinhisthickbeard。Bythesheerrushofroutine，however，themotionwouldhavebeenputandcarried。Butasthechairmanwasopeninghismouthtoputit，Symesprangtohisfeetandsaidinasmallandquietvoice——
"Yes，Mr。Chairman，Ioppose。"
Themosteffectivefactinoratoryisanunexpectedchangeinthevoice。Mr。GabrielSymeevidentlyunderstoodoratory。Havingsaidthesefirstformalwordsinamoderatedtoneandwithabriefsimplicity，hemadehisnextwordringandvolleyinthevaultasifoneofthegunshadgoneoff。
"Comrades！"hecried，inavoicethatmadeeverymanjumpoutofhisboots，"havewecomehereforthis？Doweliveundergroundlikeratsinordertolistentotalklikethis？ThisistalkwemightlistentowhileeatingbunsataSundaySchooltreat。DowelinethesewallswithweaponsandbarthatdoorwithdeathlestanyoneshouldcomeandhearComradeGregorysayingtous，’Begood，andyouwillbehappy，’’Honestyisthebestpolicy，’and’Virtueisitsownreward’？TherewasnotawordinComradeGregory’saddresstowhichacuratecouldnothavelistenedwithpleasure（hear，hear）。ButIamnotacurate（loudcheers），andIdidnotlistentoitwithpleasure（renewedcheers）。Themanwhoisfittedtomakeagoodcurateisnotfittedtomakearesolute，forcible，andefficientThursday（hear，hear）。"
"ComradeGregoryhastoldus，inonlytooapologeticatone，thatwearenottheenemiesofsociety。ButIsaythatwearetheenemiesofsociety，andsomuchtheworseforsociety。Wearetheenemiesofsociety，forsocietyistheenemyofhumanity，itsoldestanditsmostpitilessenemy（hear，hear）。ComradeGregoryhastoldus（apologeticallyagain）thatwearenotmurderers。ThereIagree。Wearenotmurderers，weareexecutioners（cheers）。"
EversinceSymehadrisenGregoryhadsatstaringathim，hisfaceidioticwithastonishment。Nowinthepausehislipsofclayparted，andhesaid，withanautomaticandlifelessdistinctness——
"Youdamnablehypocrite！"
Symelookedstraightintothosefrightfuleyeswithhisownpaleblueones，andsaidwithdignity——
"ComradeGregoryaccusesmeofhypocrisy。HeknowsaswellasIdothatIamkeepingallmyengagementsanddoingnothingbutmyduty。
Idonotmincewords。Idonotpretendto。IsaythatComradeGregoryisunfittobeThursdayforallhisamiablequalities。HeisunfittobeThursdaybecauseofhisamiablequalities。WedonotwanttheSupremeCouncilofAnarchyinfectedwithamaudlinmercy（hear，hear）。Thisisnotimeforceremonialpoliteness，neitherisitatimeforceremonialmodesty。IsetmyselfagainstComradeGregoryasIwouldsetmyselfagainstalltheGovernmentsofEurope，becausetheanarchistwhohasgivenhimselftoanarchyhasforgottenmodestyasmuchashehasforgottenpride（cheers）。Iamnotamanatall。Iamacause（renewedcheers）。IsetmyselfagainstComradeGregoryasimpersonallyandascalmlyasIshouldchooseonepistolratherthananotheroutofthatrackuponthewall;andIsaythatratherthanhaveGregoryandhismilk—and—watermethodsontheSupremeCouncil，Iwouldoffermyselfforelection——"
Hissentencewasdrownedinadeafeningcataractofapplause。Thefaces，thathadgrownfiercerandfiercerwithapprovalashistiradegrewmoreandmoreuncompromising，werenowdistortedwithgrinsofanticipationorclovenwithdelightedcries。AtthemomentwhenheannouncedhimselfasreadytostandforthepostofThursday，aroarofexcitementandassentbrokeforth，andbecameuncontrollable，andatthesamemomentGregorysprangtohisfeet，withfoamuponhismouth，andshoutedagainsttheshouting。
"Stop，youblastedmadmen！"hecried，atthetopofavoicethattorehisthroat。"Stop，you——"
ButlouderthanGregory’sshoutingandlouderthantheroaroftheroomcamethevoiceofSyme，stillspeakinginapealofpitilessthunder——
"IdonotgototheCounciltorebutthatslanderthatcallsusmurderers;Igotoearnit（loudandprolongedcheering）。Tothepriestwhosaysthesemenaretheenemiesofreligion，tothejudgewhosaysthesemenaretheenemiesoflaw，tothefatparliamentarianwhosaysthesemenaretheenemiesoforderandpublicdecency，toalltheseIwillreply，’Youarefalsekings，butyouaretrueprophets。Iamcometodestroyyou，andtofulfilyourprophecies。’"
Theheavyclamourgraduallydiedaway，butbeforeithadceasedWitherspoonhadjumpedtohisfeet，hishairandbeardallonend，andhadsaid——
"Imove，asanamendment，thatComradeSymebeappointedtothepost。"
"Stopallthis，Itellyou！"criedGregory，withfranticfaceandhands。"Stopit，itisall——"
Thevoiceofthechairmanclovehisspeechwithacoldaccent。
"Doesanyonesecondthisamendment？"hesaid。Atall，tiredman，withmelancholyeyesandanAmericanchinbeard，wasobservedonthebackbenchtobeslowlyrisingtohisfeet。Gregoryhadbeenscreamingforsometimepast;nowtherewasachangeinhisaccent，moreshockingthananyscream。"Iendallthis！"hesaid，inavoiceasheavyasstone。
"Thismancannotbeelected。Heisa——"
"Yes，"saidSyme，quitemotionless，"whatishe？"Gregory’smouthworkedtwicewithoutsound;thenslowlythebloodbegantocrawlbackintohisdeadface。"Heisamanquiteinexperiencedinourwork，"hesaid，andsatdownabruptly。
Beforehehaddoneso，thelong，leanmanwiththeAmericanbeardwasagainuponhisfeet，andwasrepeatinginahighAmericanmonotone——
"IbegtosecondtheelectionofComradeSyme。"
"Theamendmentwill，asusual，beputfirst，"saidMr。Buttons，thechairman，withmechanicalrapidity。
"ThequestionisthatComradeSyme——"
Gregoryhadagainsprungtohisfeet，pantingandpassionate。
"Comrades，"hecriedout，"Iamnotamadman。"
"Oh，oh！"saidMr。Witherspoon。
"Iamnotamadman，"reiteratedGregory，withafrightfulsinceritywhichforamomentstaggeredtheroom，"butIgiveyouacounselwhichyoucancallmadifyoulike。No，Iwillnotcallitacounsel，forIcangiveyounoreasonforit。Iwillcallitacommand。Callitamadcommand，butactuponit。Strike，buthearme！Killme，butobeyme！Donotelectthisman。"Truthissoterrible，eveninfetters，thatforamomentSyme’sslenderandinsanevictoryswayedlikeareed。ButyoucouldnothaveguesseditfromSyme’sbleakblueeyes。Hemerelybegan——
"ComradeGregorycommands——"
Thenthespellwassnapped，andoneanarchistcalledouttoGregory——
"Whoareyou？YouarenotSunday";andanotheranarchistaddedinaheaviervoice，"AndyouarenotThursday。"
"Comrades，"criedGregory，inavoicelikethatofamartyrwhoinanecstacyofpainhaspassedbeyondpain，"itisnothingtomewhetheryoudetestmeasatyrantordetestmeasaslave。Ifyouwillnottakemycommand，acceptmydegradation。Ikneeltoyou。I
throwmyselfatyourfeet。Iimploreyou。Donotelectthisman。"
"ComradeGregory，"saidthechairmanafterapainfulpause，"thisisreallynotquitedignified。"
Forthefirsttimeintheproceedingstherewasforafewsecondsarealsilence。ThenGregoryfellbackinhisseat，apalewreckofaman，andthechairmanrepeated，likeapieceofclock—worksuddenlystartedagain——
"ThequestionisthatComradeSymebeelectedtothepostofThursdayontheGeneralCouncil。"
Theroarroselikethesea，thehandsroselikeaforest，andthreeminutesafterwardsMr。GabrielSyme，oftheSecretPoliceService，waselectedtothepostofThursdayontheGeneralCounciloftheAnarchistsofEurope。
Everyoneintheroomseemedtofeelthetugwaitingontheriver，thesword—stickandtherevolver，waitingonthetable。Theinstanttheelectionwasendedandirrevocable，andSymehadreceivedthepaperprovinghiselection，theyallsprangtotheirfeet，andthefierygroupsmovedandmixedintheroom。Symefoundhimself，somehoworother，facetofacewithGregory，whostillregardedhimwithastareofstunnedhatred。Theyweresilentformanyminutes。
"Youareadevil！"saidGregoryatlast。
"Andyouareagentleman，"saidSymewithgravity。
"Itwasyouthatentrappedme，"beganGregory，shakingfromheadtofoot，"entrappedmeinto——"
"Talksense，"saidSymeshortly。"Intowhatsortofdevils’
parliamenthaveyouentrappedme，ifitcomestothat？YoumademeswearbeforeImadeyou。Perhapswearebothdoingwhatwethinkright。Butwhatwethinkrightissodamneddifferentthattherecanbenothingbetweenusinthewayofconcession。Thereisnothingpossiblebetweenusbuthonouranddeath，"andhepulledthegreatcloakabouthisshouldersandpickeduptheflaskfromthetable。
"Theboatisquiteready，"saidMr。Buttons，bustlingup。"Begoodenoughtostepthisway。"
Withagesturethatrevealedtheshop—walker，heledSymedownashort，iron—boundpassage，thestillagonisedGregoryfollowingfeverishlyattheirheels。Attheendofthepassagewasadoor，whichButtonsopenedsharply，showingasuddenblueandsilverpictureofthemoonlitriver，thatlookedlikeasceneinatheatre。Closetotheopeninglayadark，dwarfishsteam—launch，likeababydragonwithoneredeye。
Almostintheactofsteppingonboard，GabrielSymeturnedtothegapingGregory。
"Youhavekeptyourword，"hesaidgently，withhisfaceinshadow。
"Youareamanofhonour，andIthankyou。Youhavekeptitevendowntoasmallparticular。Therewasonespecialthingyoupromisedmeatthebeginningoftheaffair，andwhichyouhavecertainlygivenmebytheendofit。"
"Whatdoyoumean？"criedthechaoticGregory。"WhatdidIpromiseyou？"
"Averyentertainingevening，"saidSyme，andhemadeamilitarysalutewiththesword—stickasthesteamboatslidaway。
CHAPTERIV
THETALEOFADETECTIVE
GABRIELSYMEwasnotmerelyadetectivewhopretendedtobeapoet;
hewasreallyapoetwhohadbecomeadetective。Norwashishatredofanarchyhypocritical。Hewasoneofthosewhoaredrivenearlyinlifeintotooconservativeanattitudebythebewilderingfollyofmostrevolutionists。Hehadnotattaineditbyanytametradition。Hisrespectabilitywasspontaneousandsudden，arebellionagainstrebellion。Hecameofafamilyofcranks，inwhichalltheoldestpeoplehadallthenewestnotions。Oneofhisunclesalwayswalkedaboutwithoutahat，andanotherhadmadeanunsuccessfulattempttowalkaboutwithahatandnothingelse。Hisfathercultivatedartandself—realisation;hismotherwentinforsimplicityandhygiene。Hencethechild，duringhistendereryears，waswhollyunacquaintedwithanydrinkbetweentheextremesofabsinthandcocoa，ofbothofwhichhehadahealthydislike。ThemorehismotherpreachedamorethanPuritanabstinencethemoredidhisfatherexpandintoamorethanpaganlatitude;andbythetimetheformerhadcometoenforcingvegetarianism，thelatterhadprettywellreachedthepointofdefendingcannibalism。
Beingsurroundedwitheveryconceivablekindofrevoltfrominfancy，Gabrielhadtorevoltintosomething，soherevoltedintotheonlythingleft——sanity。Buttherewasjustenoughinhimofthebloodofthesefanaticstomakeevenhisprotestforcommonsensealittletoofiercetobesensible。Hishatredofmodernlawlessnesshadbeencrownedalsobyanaccident。Ithappenedthathewaswalkinginasidestreetattheinstantofadynamiteoutrage。Hehadbeenblindanddeafforamoment，andthenseen，thesmokeclearing，thebrokenwindowsandthebleedingfaces。
Afterthathewentaboutasusual——quiet，courteous，rathergentle;
buttherewasaspotonhismindthatwasnotsane。Hedidnotregardanarchists，asmostofusdo，asahandfulofmorbidmen，combiningignorancewithintellectualism。Heregardedthemasahugeandpitilessperil，likeaChineseinvasion。
Hepouredperpetuallyintonewspapersandtheirwaste—paperbasketsatorrentoftales，versesandviolentarticles，warningmenofthisdelugeofbarbaricdenial。Butheseemedtobegettingnonearerhisenemy，and，whatwasworse，noneareraliving。AshepacedtheThamesembankment，bitterlybitingacheapcigarandbroodingontheadvanceofAnarchy，therewasnoanarchistwithabombinhispocketsosavageorsosolitaryashe。Indeed，healwaysfeltthatGovernmentstoodaloneanddesperate，withitsbacktothewall。Hewastooquixotictohavecaredforitotherwise。
HewalkedontheEmbankmentonceunderadarkredsunset。Theredriverreflectedtheredsky，andtheybothreflectedhisanger。Thesky，indeed，wassoswarthy，andthelightontheriverrelativelysolurid，thatthewateralmostseemedoffiercerflamethanthesunsetitmirrored。Itlookedlikeastreamofliteralfirewindingunderthevastcavernsofasubterraneancountry。
Symewasshabbyinthosedays。Heworeanold—fashionedblackchimney—pothat;hewaswrappedinayetmoreold—fashionedcloak，blackandragged;andthecombinationgavehimthelookoftheearlyvillainsinDickensandBulwerLytton。Alsohisyellowbeardandhairweremoreunkemptandleoninethanwhentheyappearedlongafterwards，cutandpointed，onthelawnsofSaffronPark。Along，lean，blackcigar，boughtinSohofortwopence，stoodoutfrombetweenhistightenedteeth，andaltogetherhelookedaverysatisfactoryspecimenoftheanarchistsuponwhomhehadvowedaholywar。PerhapsthiswaswhyapolicemanontheEmbankmentspoketohim，andsaid"Goodevening。"
Syme，atacrisisofhismorbidfearsforhumanity，seemedstungbythemerestolidityoftheautomaticofficial，amerebulkofblueinthetwilight。
"Agoodeveningisit？"hesaidsharply。"Youfellowswouldcalltheendoftheworldagoodevening。Lookatthatbloodyredsunandthatbloodyriver！Itellyouthatifthatwereliterallyhumanblood，spiltandshining，youwouldstillbestandinghereassolidasever，lookingoutforsomepoorharmlesstrampwhomyoucouldmoveon。Youpolicemenarecrueltothepoor，butIcouldforgiveyouevenyourcrueltyifitwerenotforyourcalm。"
"Ifwearecalm，"repliedthepoliceman，"itisthecalmoforganisedresistance。"
"Eh？"saidSyme，staring。
"Thesoldiermustbecalminthethickofthebattle，"pursuedthepoliceman。"Thecomposureofanarmyistheangerofanation。"
"GoodGod，theBoardSchools！"saidSyme。"Isthisundenominationaleducation？"
"No，"saidthepolicemansadly，"Ineverhadanyofthoseadvantages。TheBoardSchoolscameaftermytime。WhateducationIhadwasveryroughandold—fashioned，Iamafraid。"
"Wheredidyouhaveit？"askedSyme，wondering。
"Oh，atHarrow，"saidthepolicemanTheclasssympathieswhich，falseastheyare，arethetruestthingsinsomanymen，brokeoutofSymebeforehecouldcontrolthem。
"But，goodLord，man，"hesaid，"yououghtn’ttobeapoliceman！"
Thepolicemansighedandshookhishead。
"Iknow，"hesaidsolemnly，"IknowIamnotworthy。"
"Butwhydidyoujointhepolice？"askedSymewithrudecuriosity。
"Formuchthesamereasonthatyouabusedthepolice，"repliedtheother。"Ifoundthattherewasaspecialopeningintheserviceforthosewhosefearsforhumanitywereconcernedratherwiththeaberrationsofthescientificintellectthanwiththenormalandexcusable，thoughexcessive，outbreaksofthehumanwill。ItrustImakemyselfclear。"
"Ifyoumeanthatyoumakeyouropinionclear，"saidSyme，"I
supposeyoudo。Butasformakingyourselfclear，itisthelastthingyoudo。HowcomesamanlikeyoutobetalkingphilosophyinabluehelmetontheThamesembankment？
"Youhaveevidentlynotheardofthelatestdevelopmentinourpolicesystem，"repliedtheother。"Iamnotsurprisedatit。Wearekeepingitratherdarkfromtheeducatedclass，becausethatclasscontainsmostofourenemies。Butyouseemtobeexactlyintherightframeofmind。Ithinkyoumightalmostjoinus。"
"Joinyouinwhat？"askedSyme。
"Iwilltellyou，"saidthepolicemanslowly。"Thisisthesituation：Theheadofoneofourdepartments，oneofthemostcelebrateddetectivesinEurope，haslongbeenofopinionthatapurelyintellectualconspiracywouldsoonthreatentheveryexistenceofcivilisation。HeiscertainthatthescientificandartisticworldsaresilentlyboundinacrusadeagainsttheFamilyandtheState。Hehas，therefore，formedaspecialcorpsofpolicemen，policemenwhoarealsophilosophers。Itistheirbusinesstowatchthebeginningsofthisconspiracy，notmerelyinacriminalbutinacontroversialsense。Iamademocratmyself，andIamfullyawareofthevalueoftheordinarymaninmattersofordinaryvalourorvirtue。Butitwouldobviouslybeundesirabletoemploythecommonpolicemaninaninvestigationwhichisalsoaheresyhunt。"
Syme’seyeswerebrightwithasympatheticcuriosity。
"Whatdoyoudo，then？"hesaid。
"Theworkofthephilosophicalpoliceman，"repliedthemaninblue，"isatoncebolderandmoresubtlethanthatoftheordinarydetective。Theordinarydetectivegoestopot—housestoarrestthieves;wegotoartistictea—partiestodetectpessimists。Theordinarydetectivediscoversfromaledgeroradiarythatacrimehasbeencommitted。Wediscoverfromabookofsonnetsthatacrimewillbecommitted。Wehavetotracetheoriginofthosedreadfulthoughtsthatdrivemenonatlasttointellectualfanaticismandintellectualcrime。WewereonlyjustintimetopreventtheassassinationatHartlepool，andthatwasentirelyduetothefactthatourMr。Wilks（asmartyoungfellow）thoroughlyunderstoodatriolet。"
"Doyoumean，"askedSyme，"thatthereisreallyasmuchconnectionbetweencrimeandthemodernintellectasallthat？"
"Youarenotsufficientlydemocratic，"answeredthepoliceman，"butyouwererightwhenyousaidjustnowthatourordinarytreatmentofthepoorcriminalwasaprettybrutalbusiness。ItellyouIamsometimessickofmytradewhenIseehowperpetuallyitmeansmerelyawarupontheignorantandthedesperate。Butthisnewmovementofoursisaverydifferentaffair。WedenythesnobbishEnglishassumptionthattheuneducatedarethedangerouscriminals。
WeremembertheRomanEmperors。WerememberthegreatpoisoningprincesoftheRenaissance。Wesaythatthedangerouscriminalistheeducatedcriminal。Wesaythatthemostdangerouscriminalnowistheentirelylawlessmodernphilosopher。Comparedtohim，burglarsandbigamistsareessentiallymoralmen;myheartgoesouttothem。Theyaccepttheessentialidealofman;theymerelyseekitwrongly。Thievesrespectproperty。Theymerelywishthepropertytobecometheirpropertythattheymaymoreperfectlyrespectit。
Butphilosophersdislikepropertyasproperty;theywishtodestroytheveryideaofpersonalpossession。Bigamistsrespectmarriage，ortheywouldnotgothroughthehighlyceremonialandevenritualisticformalityofbigamy。Butphilosophersdespisemarriageasmarriage。Murderersrespecthumanlife;theymerelywishtoattainagreaterfulnessofhumanlifeinthemselvesbythesacrificeofwhatseemstothemtobelesserlives。Butphilosophershatelifeitself，theirownasmuchasotherpeople’s。"
Symestruckhishandstogether。
"Howtruethatis，"hecried。"Ihavefeltitfrommyboyhood，butnevercouldstatetheverbalantithesis。Thecommoncriminalisabadman，butatleastheis，asitwere，aconditionalgoodman。
Hesaysthatifonlyacertainobstacleberemoved——sayawealthyuncle——heisthenpreparedtoaccepttheuniverseandtopraiseGod。Heisareformer，butnotananarchist。Hewishestocleansetheedifice，butnottodestroyit。Buttheevilphilosopherisnottryingtoalterthings，buttoannihilatethem。Yes，themodernworldhasretainedallthosepartsofpoliceworkwhicharereallyoppressiveandignominious，theharryingofthepoor，thespyingupontheunfortunate。Ithasgivenupitsmoredignifiedwork，thepunishmentofpowerfultraitorstheintheStateandpowerfulheresiarchsintheChurch。Themodernssaywemustnotpunishheretics。Myonlydoubtiswhetherwehavearighttopunishanybodyelse。"
"Butthisisabsurd！"criedthepoliceman，claspinghishandswithanexcitementuncommoninpersonsofhisfigureandcostume，"butitisintolerable！Idon’tknowwhatyou’redoing，butyou’rewastingyourlife。Youmust，youshall，joinourspecialarmyagainstanarchy。Theirarmiesareonourfrontiers。Theirboltisreadytofall。Amomentmore，andyoumaylosethegloryofworkingwithus，perhapsthegloryofdyingwiththelastheroesoftheworld。"
"Itisachancenottobemissed，certainly，"assentedSyme，"butstillIdonotquiteunderstand。Iknowaswellasanybodythatthemodernworldisfulloflawlesslittlemenandmadlittlemovements。But，beastlyastheyare，theygenerallyhavetheonemeritofdisagreeingwitheachother。Howcanyoutalkoftheirleadingonearmyorhurlingonebolt。Whatisthisanarchy？"
"Donotconfuseit，"repliedtheconstable，"withthosechancedynamiteoutbreaksfromRussiaorfromIreland，whicharereallytheoutbreaksofoppressed，ifmistaken，men。Thisisavastphilosophicmovement，consistingofanouterandaninnerring。
Youmightevencalltheouterringthelaityandtheinnerringthepriesthood。Iprefertocalltheouterringtheinnocentsection，theinnerringthesupremelyguiltysection。Theouterring——themainmassoftheirsupporters——aremerelyanarchists;
thatis，menwhobelievethatrulesandformulashavedestroyedhumanhappiness。Theybelievethatalltheevilresultsofhumancrimearetheresultsofthesystemthathascalleditcrime。Theydonotbelievethatthecrimecreatesthepunishment。Theybelievethatthepunishmenthascreatedthecrime。Theybelievethatifamanseducedsevenwomenhewouldnaturallywalkawayasblamelessastheflowersofspring。Theybelievethatifamanpickedapockethewouldnaturallyfeelexquisitelygood。TheseIcalltheinnocentsection。"
"Oh！"saidSyme。
"Naturally，therefore，thesepeopletalkabout’ahappytimecoming’;’theparadiseofthefuture’;’mankindfreedfromthebondageofviceandthebondageofvirtue，’andsoon。Andsoalsothemenoftheinnercirclespeak——thesacredpriesthood。Theyalsospeaktoapplaudingcrowdsofthehappinessofthefuture，andofmankindfreedatlast。Butintheirmouths"——andthepolicemanloweredhisvoice——"intheirmouthsthesehappyphraseshaveahorriblemeaning。Theyareundernoillusions;theyaretoointellectualtothinkthatmanuponthisearthcaneverbequitefreeoforiginalsinandthestruggle。Andtheymeandeath。Whentheysaythatmankindshallbefreeatlast，theymeanthatmankindshallcommitsuicide。Whentheytalkofaparadisewithoutrightorwrong，theymeanthegrave。
Theyhavebuttwoobjects，todestroyfirsthumanityandthenthemselves。Thatiswhytheythrowbombsinsteadoffiringpistols。
Theinnocentrankandfilearedisappointedbecausethebombhasnotkilledtheking;butthehigh—priesthoodarehappybecauseithaskilledsomebody。"
"HowcanIjoinyou？"askedSyme，withasortofpassion。
"Iknowforafactthatthereisavacancyatthemoment，"saidthepoliceman，"asIhavethehonourtobesomewhatintheconfidenceofthechiefofwhomIhavespoken。Youshouldreallycomeandseehim。Orrather，Ishouldnotsayseehim，nobodyeverseeshim;butyoucantalktohimifyoulike。"
"Telephone？"inquiredSyme，withinterest。
"No，"saidthepolicemanplacidly，"hehasafancyforalwayssittinginapitch—darkroom。Hesaysitmakeshisthoughtsbrighter。Docomealong。"
Somewhatdazedandconsiderablyexcited，Symeallowedhimselftobeledtoaside—doorinthelongrowofbuildingsofScotlandYard。
Almostbeforeheknewwhathewasdoing，hehadbeenpassedthroughthehandsofaboutfourintermediateofficials，andwassuddenlyshownintoaroom，theabruptblacknessofwhichstartledhimlikeablazeoflight。Itwasnottheordinarydarkness，inwhichformscanbefaintlytraced;itwaslikegoingsuddenlystone—blind。
"Areyouthenewrecruit？"askedaheavyvoice。
Andinsomestrangeway，thoughtherewasnottheshadowofashapeinthegloom，Symeknewtwothings：first，thatitcamefromamanofmassivestature;andsecond，thatthemanhadhisbacktohim。
"Areyouthenewrecruit？"saidtheinvisiblechief，whoseemedtohaveheardallaboutit。"Allright。Youareengaged。"
Syme，quitesweptoffhisfeet，madeafeeblefightagainstthisirrevocablephrase。
"Ireallyhavenoexperience，"hebegan。
"Noonehasanyexperience，"saidtheother，"oftheBattleofArmageddon。"
"ButIamreallyunfit——"
"Youarewilling，thatisenough，"saidtheunknown。
"Well，really，"saidSyme，"Idon’tknowanyprofessionofwhichmerewillingnessisthefinaltest。"
"Ido，"saidtheother——"martyrs。Iamcondemningyoutodeath。
Goodday。"
ThusitwasthatwhenGabrielSymecameoutagainintothecrimsonlightofevening，inhisshabbyblackhatandshabby，lawlesscloak，hecameoutamemberoftheNewDetectiveCorpsforthefrustrationofthegreatconspiracy。Actingundertheadviceofhisfriendthepoliceman（whowasprofessionallyinclinedtoneatness），hetrimmedhishairandbeard，boughtagoodhat，cladhimselfinanexquisitesummersuitoflightblue—grey，withapaleyellowflowerinthebutton—hole，and，inshort，becamethatelegantandratherinsupportablepersonwhomGregoryhadfirstencounteredinthelittlegardenofSaffronPark。Beforehefinallyleftthepolicepremiseshisfriendprovidedhimwithasmallbluecard，onwhichwaswritten，"TheLastCrusade，"andanumber，thesignofhisofficialauthority。Heputthiscarefullyinhisupperwaistcoatpocket，litacigarette，andwentforthtotrackandfighttheenemyinallthedrawing—roomsofLondon。Wherehisadventureultimatelyledhimwehavealreadyseen。Atabouthalf—pastoneonaFebruarynighthefoundhimselfsteaminginasmalltugupthesilentThames，armedwithswordstickandrevolver，thedulyelectedThursdayoftheCentralCouncilofAnarchists。
WhenSymesteppedoutontothesteam—tughehadasingularsensationofsteppingoutintosomethingentirelynew;notmerelyintothelandscapeofanewland，butevenintothelandscapeofanewplanet。Thiswasmainlyduetotheinsaneyetsoliddecisionofthatevening，thoughpartlyalsotoanentirechangeintheweatherandtheskysinceheenteredthelittletavernsometwohoursbefore。Everytraceofthepassionateplumageofthecloudysunsethadbeensweptaway，andanakedmoonstoodinanakedsky。Themoonwassostrongandfullthat（byaparadoxoftentobenoticed）
itseemedlikeaweakersun。Itgave，notthesenseofbrightmoonshine，butratherofadeaddaylight。
Overthewholelandscapelayaluminousandunnaturaldiscoloration，asofthatdisastroustwilightwhichMiltonspokeofasshedbythesunineclipse;sothatSymefelleasilyintohisfirstthought，thathewasactuallyonsomeotherandemptierplanet，whichcircledroundsomesadderstar。Butthemorehefeltthisglitteringdesolationinthemoonlitland，themorehisownchivalricfollyglowedinthenightlikeagreatfire。Eventhecommonthingshecarriedwithhim——thefoodandthebrandyandtheloadedpistol——tookonexactlythatconcreteandmaterialpoetrywhichachildfeelswhenhetakesagunuponajourneyorabunwithhimtobed。Thesword—stickandthebrandy—flask，thoughinthemselvesonlythetoolsofmorbidconspirators，becametheexpressionsofhisownmorehealthyromance。Thesword—stickbecamealmosttheswordofchivalry，andthebrandythewineofthestirrup—cup。Foreventhemostdehumanisedmodernfantasiesdependonsomeolderandsimplerfigure;theadventuresmaybemad，buttheadventurermustbesane。ThedragonwithoutSt。
Georgewouldnotevenbegrotesque。Sothisinhumanlandscapewasonlyimaginativebythepresenceofamanreallyhuman。ToSyme’sexaggerativemindthebright，bleakhousesandterracesbytheThameslookedasemptyasthemountainsofthemoon。Buteventhemoonisonlypoeticalbecausethereisamaninthemoon。
Thetugwasworkedbytwomen，andwithmuchtoilwentcomparativelyslowly。TheclearmoonthathadlitupChiswickhadgonedownbythetimethattheypassedBattersea，andwhentheycameundertheenormousbulkofWestminsterdayhadalreadybeguntobreak。Itbrokelikethesplittingofgreatbarsoflead，showingbarsofsilver;andthesehadbrightenedlikewhitefirewhenthetug，changingitsonwardcourse，turnedinwardtoalargelandingstageratherbeyondCharingCross。
ThegreatstonesoftheEmbankmentseemedequallydarkandgiganticasSymelookedupatthem。Theywerebigandblackagainstthehugewhitedawn。TheymadehimfeelthathewaslandingonthecolossalstepsofsomeEgyptianpalace;and，indeed，thethingsuitedhismood，forhewas，inhisownmind，mountingtoattackthesolidthronesofhorribleandheathenkings。Heleaptoutoftheboatontooneslimystep，andstood，adarkandslenderfigure，amidtheenormousmasonry。Thetwomeninthetugputheroffagainandturnedupstream。Theyhadneverspokenaword。
CHAPTERV
THEFEASTOFFEAR
ATfirstthelargestonestairseemedtoSymeasdesertedasapyramid;butbeforehereachedthetophehadrealisedthattherewasamanleaningovertheparapetoftheEmbankmentandlookingoutacrosstheriver。Asafigurehewasquiteconventional，cladinasilkhatandfrock—coatofthemoreformaltypeoffashion;
hehadaredflowerinhisbuttonhole。AsSymedrewnearertohimstepbystep，hedidnotevenmoveahair;andSymecouldcomecloseenoughtonoticeeveninthedim，palemorninglightthathisfacewaslong，paleandintellectual，andendedinasmalltriangulartuftofdarkbeardattheverypointofthechin，allelsebeingclean—shaven。Thisscrapofhairalmostseemedamereoversight;therestofthefacewasofthetypethatisbestshaven——clear—cut，ascetic，andinitswaynoble。Symedrewcloserandcloser，notingallthis，andstillthefiguredidnotstir。
AtfirstaninstincthadtoldSymethatthiswasthemanwhomhewasmeanttomeet。Then，seeingthatthemanmadenosign，hehadconcludedthathewasnot。Andnowagainhehadcomebacktoacertaintythatthemanhadsomethingtodowithhismadadventure。
Forthemanremainedmorestillthanwouldhavebeennaturalifastrangerhadcomesoclose。Hewasasmotionlessasawax—work，andgotonthenervessomewhatinthesameway。Symelookedagainandagainatthepale，dignifiedanddelicateface，andthefacestilllookedblanklyacrosstheriver。ThenhetookoutofhispocketthenotefromButtonsprovinghiselection，andputitbeforethatsadandbeautifulface。Thenthemansmiled，andhissmilewasashock，foritwasallononeside，goingupintherightcheekanddownintheleft。
Therewasnothing，rationallyspeaking，toscareanyoneaboutthis。Manypeoplehavethisnervoustrickofacrookedsmile，andinmanyitisevenattractive。ButinallSyme’scircumstances，withthedarkdawnandthedeadlyerrandandthelonelinessonthegreatdrippingstones，therewassomethingunnervinginit。
Therewasthesilentriverandthesilentman，amanofevenclassicface。Andtherewasthelastnightmaretouchthathissmilesuddenlywentwrong。
Thespasmofsmilewasinstantaneous，andtheman’sfacedroppedatonceintoitsharmoniousmelancholy。Hespokewithoutfurtherexplanationorinquiry，likeamanspeakingtoanoldcolleague。
"IfwewalkuptowardsLeicesterSquare，"hesaid，"weshalljustbeintimeforbreakfast。Sundayalwaysinsistsonanearlybreakfast。Haveyouhadanysleep？"
"No，"saidSyme。
"NorhaveI，"answeredthemaninanordinarytone。"Ishalltrytogettobedafterbreakfast。"
Hespokewithcasualcivility，butinanutterlydeadvoicethatcontradictedthefanaticismofhisface。Itseemedalmostasifallfriendlywordsweretohimlifelessconveniences，andthathisonlylifewashate。Afterapausethemanspokeagain。
"Ofcourse，theSecretaryofthebranchtoldyoueverythingthatcanbetold。ButtheonethingthatcanneverbetoldisthelastnotionofthePresident，forhisnotionsgrowlikeatropicalforest。Soincaseyoudon’tknow，I’dbettertellyouthatheiscarryingouthisnotionofconcealingourselvesbynotconcealingourselvestothemostextraordinarylengthsjustnow。Originally，ofcourse，wemetinacellunderground，justasyourbranchdoes。
ThenSundaymadeustakeaprivateroomatanordinaryrestaurant。
Hesaidthatifyoudidn’tseemtobehidingnobodyhuntedyouout。
Well，heistheonlymanonearth，Iknow;butsometimesIreallythinkthathishugebrainisgoingalittlemadinitsoldage。Fornowweflauntourselvesbeforethepublic。Wehaveourbreakfastonabalcony——onabalcony，ifyouplease——overlookingLeicesterSquare。"
"Andwhatdothepeoplesay？"askedSyme。
"It’squitesimplewhattheysay，"answeredhisguide。
"Theysaywearealotofjollygentlemenwhopretendtheyareanarchists。"
"Itseemstomeaverycleveridea，"saidSyme。
"Clever！Godblastyourimpudence！Clever！"criedouttheotherinasudden，shrillvoicewhichwasasstartlinganddiscordantashiscrookedsmile。"Whenyou’veseenSundayforasplitsecondyou’llleaveoffcallinghimclever。"
Withthistheyemergedoutofanarrowstreet，andsawtheearlysunlightfillingLeicesterSquare。Itwillneverbeknown，I
suppose，whythissquareitselfshouldlooksoalienandinsomewayssocontinental。Itwillneverbeknownwhetheritwastheforeignlookthatattractedtheforeignersortheforeignerswhogaveittheforeignlook。Butonthisparticularmorningtheeffectseemedsingularlybrightandclear。BetweentheopensquareandthesunlitleavesandthestatueandtheSaracenicoutlinesoftheAlhambra，itlookedthereplicaofsomeFrenchorevenSpanishpublicplace。AndthiseffectincreasedinSymethesensation，whichinmanyshapeshehadhadthroughthewholeadventure，theeeriesensationofhavingstrayedintoanewworld。Asafact，hehadboughtbadcigarsroundLeicesterSquareeversincehewasaboy。Butasheturnedthatcorner，andsawthetreesandtheMoorishcupolas，hecouldhaveswornthathewasturningintoanunknownPlacedesomethingorotherinsomeforeigntown。
Atonecornerofthesquarethereprojectedakindofangleofaprosperousbutquiethotel，thebulkofwhichbelongedtoastreetbehind。InthewalltherewasonelargeFrenchwindow，probablythewindowofalargecoffee—room;andoutsidethiswindow，almostliterallyoverhangingthesquare，wasaformidablybuttressedbalcony，bigenoughtocontainadining—table。Infact，itdidcontainadining—table，ormorestrictlyabreakfast—table;androundthebreakfast—table，glowinginthesunlightandevidenttothestreet，wereagroupofnoisyandtalkativemen，alldressedintheinsolenceoffashion，withwhitewaistcoatsandexpensivebutton—holes。Someoftheirjokescouldalmostbeheardacrossthesquare。ThenthegraveSecretarygavehisunnaturalsmile，andSymeknewthatthisboisterousbreakfastpartywasthesecretconclaveoftheEuropeanDynamiters。
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