FOREWORD
（ByWayofExplanation）
Astoryofminecalled，likethis，"TheWoman-Haters，"appearedrecentlyinoneofthemagazines。Thatstorywasnotthisone，exceptinpart——thepartdealingwith"JohnBrown"andMissRuthGraham。ReadersoftheformertalewhoperhapsimaginetheyknowallaboutSethAtkinsandMrs。EmelineBascomwillbesurprisedtofindtheyreallyknowsolittle。Thetruthisthat，whenIbegantoreviseandrearrangethemagazinestoryforpublicationasabook，newideascame，grew，anddeveloped。IdiscoveredthatIhadbeenmisinformedconcerningthelightkeeper’spastandpresentrelationswiththehousekeeperatthebungalow。Andtherewas"BennieD。"
whomIhadoverlooked，hadnotmentionedatall；andthatrejuvenatedcraft，theDaisyM。；andthehightidewhichis，orshouldbe，talkedaboutinEastboroevenyet；alltheseIhadomittedfortheverygoodreasonthatIneverknewofthem。Ihavetriedtobemorecarefulthistime。Duringtherevisingprocess"TheWoman-Haters"hasmorethandoubledinlengthand，letushope，inaccuracy。Evennowitis，ofcourse，notanovel，butmerelyasummerfarce-comedy，a"yarn。"Andthis，bytheway，isallthatitpretendstobe。
JOSEPHC。LINCOLN。
May，1911。
THEWOMAN-HATERS
CHAPTERI
MR。SETHATKINS
Thestars，likeincandescentlightsfedbyafastweakeningdynamo，grewpale，faded，and，onebyone，wentout。Theslate-coloredsea，withitstumblingwaves，changedcolor，becomingalightgray，thenafaintblue，and，astheredsunrolledupovertheedgeoftheeasternhorizon，abrilliantsapphire，trimmedwithasilverwhiteontheshoalsandalongthebeachatthefootofthebluff。
SethAtkins，keeperoftheEastboroTwin-Lights，yawned，stretched，andglancedthroughtheseawardwindowsoftheoctagon-shaped，glass-enclosedroomatthetopofthenorthtower，wherehehadspentthenightjustpassed。Thenherosefromhischairandextinguishedtheblazeinthegreatlanternbesidehim。Morninghadcome，themistshadrolledaway，andthedotsscatteredalongthehorizon——schooners，tugs，andcoalbarges，forthemostpart——nolongerneededtheglareofEastboroTwin-Lightstowarnthemagainstcloseproximitytothedangerous，shoal-borderedcoast。Incidentally，itwasnolongernecessaryforMr。Atkinstoremainonwatch。Hedrewthecurtainsoverthepolishedglassandbrassofthelantern，yawnedagain，anddescendedthewindingironstairstothedooratthefootofthetower，openeditandemergedintothesandyyard。
Crossingthisyard，beforethesmallwhitehousewhichthegovernmentprovidedasadwellingplaceforitslightkeepers，heopenedthedoorofthesouthtower，mountedthestairsthereandrepeatedtheextinguishingprocesswiththeotherlantern。Beforeagaindescendingtoearth，however，hesteppedoutontheironbalconysurroundingthelightchamberandlookedabouthim。
Theview，suchasitwas，wasextensive。Totheeasttheopensea，thewideAtlantic，rollinglazilyinthemorninglight，afaintbreezeripplingthesurfacesoftheground-swell。Afewsailsinsight，farout。Notasoundexceptthehissandsplashofthesurf，which，becauseofaweekofcalmsandlightwinds，waslowevenforthattimeofyear——earlyJune。
TothenorthstretchedtheshoresofthebackoftheCape。Highclaybluffs，rain-washedandwrinkled，slopingsharplytothewhitesandofthebeachahundredfeetbelow。Onlyonebuilding，exceptthoseconnectedwiththelighthouses，nearathand，thisasmall，gray-shingledbungalowabouttwohundredyardsaway，separatedfromthelightsbythenarrowstreamcalledClamCreek——Sethalwaysspokeofitasthe"Crick"——which，turninginbehindthelongsurf-beatensandspitknown，forsomeforgottenreason，as"BlackMan’sPoint，"
continuedtothesalt-waterpondwhichwasnamed"TheCove。"Apathleddownfromthelighthousestoabendinthe"Crick，"andthere，onasmallwharf，wasashantywhereSethkepthissparelobsterandeel-pots，dorysails，nets，andthelike。Thedoryitself，withtheoarsinher，wasmooredinthecove。
Amileoff，tothesouth，thelineofbluffswasbrokenbyanotherinlet，theentrancetoPounddugSlough。Thispoeticallynamedchanneltwistedandwoundtortuouslyinlandthroughsaltmarshesandbetweenmudbanks，wideningatlasttobecomeEastboroBackHarbor，agood-sizedbodyofwater，withthevillageofEastboroatitsupperend。Intheolddays，whenEastboroamountedtosomethingasafishingport，themackerelfleetunloadeditscatchatthewharvesintheBackHarbor。ThenPounddugSloughwaskeptthoroughlydredgedandbuoyed。Nowitwasweed-grownandneglected。Onlyanoccasionallobsterman’sdorytraverseditswindingways，whichthestormsandtidesofeachsucceedingwinterrenderedmoredifficulttonavigate。Theabandonedfishhousesalongitsshoreswerefallingtopieces，andatintervalsthestrandedhulkofafishingslooporalittleschooner，rottinginthesun，wasadismalreminderthatEastboro’sambitiousyoungmennolongergottheirlivingalongshore。Thetownitselfhadgonetosleep，awakeningonlyinthesummer，whenthefewcottagerscameandtheBaySideHotelwasopenedforitsshortseason。
Behindthelighthousebuildings，tothewest——andinthedirectionofthevillage——werefivemilesofnothinginparticular。A
desolatewildernessofrollingsand-dunes，beachgrass，huckleberryandbayberrybushes，cedarswamps，andsmallclumpsofpitch-pines。
Throughthisdesertthethreeorfourrutted，crookedsandroads，leadingtoandfromthelights，turnedandtwisted。Alongtheirbordersdweltnohumanbeing；butlifewasthere，lifeinabundance。
EzraPayne，lateassistantkeeperattheTwin-Lights，wasreadyatalltimestofurnishevidenceconcerningtheexistenceofthislife。
"Mygodfreysdomino！"Ezrahadexclaimed，afterreturningfromadrivetoEastborovillage，"Igiveyoumyword，Seth，theydummednighetmealive。Theycoveredthehorseallup，sothathelookedforalltheworldlikeasheep，woolly。Idon’tmindmoskeetersinmoderation，butwhentheyroostonmyeyelidsandmake’emsoheavyIcan’topen’em，thenI’mreadytoswear。ButIcouldn’tgeteventhatrelief，becauseeverytimeIunbattenedmymouthamillionorsoflewinandchokedme。That’swhatIsaid——amillion。Somemoskeetersarefat，butthesedon’tgetasquaremealoftenenoughtobeanythingbuthide-racksfilledwithcussedness。Moskeeters！
Mygodfreysdomino！"
Ezrawasnolongerassistantlightkeeper。Heandhissuperiorhadquarreledtwodaysbefore。Thequarrelwastheculmination，onEzra’spart，ofagraduallydeveloping"grouch"broughtonbythelonelinessofhissurroundings。Afteranightofdutyhehadmarchedintothehouse，packedhisbelongingsinabatteredcanvasextensioncase，andannouncedhisintentionofresigningfromtheservice。
"Totheeverlastin’brimstonewiththejob！"hesnarled，addressingMr。Atkins，who，partiallydressed，emergedfromthebedroominbewildermentandsleepyastonishment。"Tothunderwithit，Isay！
I’vehadallthegov’mentjobsIwant。Life-savin’servicewasbadenough，trampin’thecondemnedbeachinahowlin’no’theaster，withthesandcuttin’furrersinyourface，andtheiciclesonyourmustachesoheavyyougotround-shoulderedluggin’’em。Butwhenyourtrampwasover，youhadsomebodytotalkto。Here，bygodfreys！thereain’tnothin’nornobody。I’mgoin’fishin’again，whereIcanbesociable。"
"Humph！"commentedSeth，"youmustbelonesomealltoonce。Ain’tmycompanygoodenoughforyou？"
"Company！Aheapofcompanyyouare！WhenI’mawakeyou’realseepandsnorin’and——"
"Ineversnoredinmylife，"wastheindignantinterruption"What？YOU’LLsnorewhenyou’redead，andwakeupthewholegraveyard。Lonesome！"hecontinued，withoutgivinghiscompanionachancetoretort，"lonesomeain’tnonameforthisplace。Nocompanybutgreenfliesandthemmoskeeters，andnothin’tolookatbutsaltwaterandsandand——and——dummedifIcanthinkofanythingelse。Fivemilesfromtownandtheonlyhouseinsightshuttight。
WhenIcomehereyoutoldmethatbungalowwasopenedupeveryyear——"
"Soithasbeentillthisseason。"
"Andthatpicnicscomehereeveryonceinawhile。"
"Don’texpectpicnickerstobesuchcrazyloonsastocomehereinwintertime，doyou？"
"Idon’tknow。Ifthey’refoolsenoughtocomehereANYtime，I
wouldn’tberesponsiblefor’em。Thereain’tsomanymoskeetersinwinter。ButjustLOOKatthishole。JustputonyourspecsandLOOKatit！Notaman——butyou——notawoman，notachild，notagirl——"
"Ahha！ahha！NOWwe’regettin’atit！Notagirl！That’swhat’sthematterwithyou。Youwanttobeupinthevillage，whereyoucangocourtin’。You’retoofurfromElsiePeters，that’swheretheshoepinches。I’veheardhowyouusedtosetoutinherdad’sbackyard，withyourarmroundherwaist，lookin’ateachother，mushyasacoupleofsassersofhasty-puddin’。Bah！I’lltakecaremynextassistantain’tgirl-struck。"
"Girl-struck！I’denoughsightrutherbegirl-struckthanalwaysravin’andrippin’againstfemales。AndallbecausesomewomanwaybackinMethusalem’stimehadsenseenoughtoheaveyouover。Atleast，that’swhateverybodycal’latesmustbethereason。Youpretendtobeawoman-hater。AllroundthispartoftheCapeyou’vetookpainstogetupthatkindofreputation；but——"
"Thereain’tnopretendin’aboutit。I’vegotbrainsenoughtokeepclearofpetticoats。AndwhenyougettobeasoldasIbeandknowasmuchasIdo——thoughthatain’tnowayslikely，evenifyoulivetobeninehundredandodd，likeNoahinScripture——you’llfeelthesameway。"
"Aw，comeoff！Woman-hater！Youhatewomensameastheboyatthepoorhousehatedicecream——’causethereain’tnonearound。Why，I
wouldn’ttrustyouasfurasIcouldseeyou！"
Thiswastheendofthedialogue，becauseMr。Paynewasobligedtobreakoffhisharangueanddodgethestove-lifterflungathimbytheoutragedlightkeeper。Asthelifterwasabouttobefollowedbytheteakettle，Ezratooktohisheels，boltedfromthehouseandbeganhislongtramptothevillage。Whenhereachedthefirstclumpsofbayberrybushesborderingthedeeplyruttedroad，ajoyfulcloudofmosquitoesroseandsettledabouthimlikeafog。
SoSethAtkinswasleftalonetododoubledutyatEastboroTwin-
Lights，pendingtheappointmentofanotherassistant。ThetwodaysandnightsfollowingEzra’sdeparturehadbeenstrenuousandprovoking。Doingallthehousework，preparationofmealsincluded，tendingbothlights，rubbingbrasswork，sweepingandscouring，sleepingwhenhecouldandkeepingawakewhenhemust，nobodytotalkto，nobodytohelp——theforty-eighthoursofsolitudehadalreadyconvincedMr。Atkinsthatthesoonerahelperwasprovidedthebetter。AttimesheevenwishedthedisrespectfulPaynebackagain，wishedthathehadsoothedinsteadofirritatedthedepartedone。Thenherememberedcertainfragmentsoftheirlastconversationandwishedthestove-lifterhadbeenflungwithbetteraim。
Now，standingonthegalleryofthesouthtower，hewasconsciousofadesireforbreakfast。Preparingthatmealhadbeenapartofhisassistant’sduties。Nowhemustprepareithimself，andhewashungryandsleepy。Hementallyvowedthathewouldnolongerdelaynotifyingtheauthoritiesofthedesertion，andwouldurgethemtohurryinsendingsomeonetofillthevacantplace。
Grumblingaloudtohimself，hemovedaroundthecircleofthegallerytowardthedoor。Hishandwasonthelatch，when，turning，hecastanotherglanceovertherail，thistimedirectlydownwardtowardthebeachbelow。Andtherehesawsomethingwhichcausedhimtoforgethungerandgrievancesofallkinds；somethingwhich，afteronehorrifiedlooktomakesure，ledhimtodartintothelightchamber，springatarecklessgaitdownthewindingstair，outofthetower，rushtotheedgeofthebluff，andplungeheadlongdownthezigzagpathwornintheclay。
Onthesand，atthefootofthebluffbelowthelights，justbeyondreachofthewashofthesurf，layaman，orthedeadbodyofaman，stretchedatfulllength。
CHAPTERII
MR。JOHNBROWN
Oncebefore，duringhisyearsofserviceaskeeperofEastboroTwin-
Lights，hadSethseensuchasightasthatwhichnowcausedhimtomakehisdashfortheshore。Oncebefore，aftertheterriblestormof1905，whenthegreatsteamerBayQueenwentdownwithallonboard，theexactspotofhersinkingunknowneventothisday。ThenthewholeoceansideoftheCape，fromRacePointtoOrham，wasstrewnwithghastlyrelics。ButtheBayQueenmetherfateinthewinterseason，amidagalesuchaseventheoldestresidentscouldnotremember。Nowitwasearlysummer；thenightbeforehadbeenaflatcalm。Therehadbeennowreck，orthelifesaverswouldhavetoldhimofit。Therewouldbenoexcuseforawreck，anyway。
Allthis，indisjointedfragments，passedthroughthelightkeeper’smindashedescendedthepathinfranticboundsandplowedthroughtheankle-deepwhitesandofthebeach。Asheapproachedtherecumbentfigureheyelledapanted"Hi，there！"Hedidnotexpectthehailtobeansweredorevennoticed。Therefore，hewaspleasantlydisappointedwhenthefigurerolledover，raiseditselfononeelbow，lookedathiminadazedsortofwayandrepliedcheerfullybutfaintly，"Hello！"
Sethstoppedshort，putahandtothebreastofhisblueflannelshirt，andbreathedamightysighofrelief。
"Gosh！"heexclaimedwithfervor。Then，changinghislaboredgallopforawalk，hecontinuedhisprogresstowardtheman，who，asifhismomentarycuriositywassatisfied，laydownagain。Hedidnotrisewhenthelightkeeperreachedhisside，butremainedquiet，lookingupfromapairofgrayeyesandsmilingslightlywithlipsthatwereblue。HewasastrangertoAtkins，ayoungfellow，rathergoodlooking，dressedinbluesergetrousers，negligeeshirt，bluesocks，andwithoutshoesorhat。Hisgarmentsweresoaked，andthesaltwaterdrippedfromhisshoulderstothesand。Thelightkeeperstaredathim，andhereturnedthestare。
"Gosh！"repeatedSeth，afteraninstantofsilence。"Jiminycrimps！
Ifeelbetter。"
Thestranger’ssmilebroadened。"Gladtohearit，I’msure，"hesaid，slowly。"SodoI，thoughthere’sstillroomforimprovement。
Whatwasyourparticularailment？Mineseemstohavebeenwateronthebrain。"
Hesatupandshakilyranahandthroughhiswethairashespoke。
Atkins，hissurprisedoubledbythisextraordinarybehavior，couldthinkofnothingtosay。
"Goodmorning，"continuedtheyoungman，asifthemeetinghadbeenthemostcasualandordinarypossible；"Ithinkyousaidamomentagothatyouwerefeelingbetter。Norelapse，Itrust。"
"Relapse？Whatintheworld？Areyoucrazy？Iain’tsick。"
"That’sgood。Imusthavemisunderstoodyou。Pleasantmorning，isn’tit？
"Pleasantmorn——Why，say！I——I——whatintimeareyoudoin’，layin’thereallsoakedthrough？Youscaredmeprettynightodeath。Ithoughtyouwasdrowned，sureandsartin。"
"Didyou？Well，tobehonest，sodidI，forawhile。Infact，I’mnotabsolutelysurethatI’mnot，evenyet。You’llexcusemeifI
liedownagain，won’tyou？Inevertriedaseaweedpillowbefore，butitisn’tsobad。"
Heagainstretchedhimselfonthesand。Sethshookhishead。
"Well，ifthisdon’tbeatme！"heexclaimed。"You’rethecoolestcritterthateverI——I——"
"Iamcool，"admittedtheyoungman，withaslightshiver。"Thisstretchofoceanhereisn’texactlyaTurkishbath。I’vebeenswimmingsince——well，anhourortwoago，andIamjustalittlechilled。"
Heshiveredagain。
"Swimmin’！Anhourortwo？Whereonearthdidyoucomefrom？"
"Oh，Ifelloverboardfromasteameroffheresomewhere。I——"
Anotherandemphaticshivercausedhimtopause。Thelightkeeperawoketotherealitiesofthesituation。
"Goodlandoflove！"heexclaimed。"WhatamIthinkin’of？Seein’
youthisway，andyoutalkin’sokindofevery-dayandfunnydrovemysensescleanout，Iguess。Getrightupoffthatwetplacethisminute。Comeuptothehouse，quick！Canyouwalk？"
"Don’tknow。Iamwillingtotry。Wouldyoumindgivingmealift？"
Sethdidn’tmind，whichwasfortunate，ashisnewacquaintancecouldn’thaverisenunaided。Hiskneesshookunderhimwhenhestooderect，andheleanedheavilyonthelightkeeper’sarm。
"Steadynow，"counselledAtkins；"nohurry。Takeiteasy。Ifyou’venavigatedwaterallaloneforhours，Ical’latebetweenuswecanmanagetomakeafive-minutecruiseondryland……Evenifthecoursewesteerwouldmakeaneellametryin’tofollowit，"headded，asthecastawaystaggeredandreeledupthebeach。"Nowdon’ttrytotalk。Letyourtonguerestandgiveyourfeetachance。"
Theclimbingofthesteepbluffwasastruggle，buttheyaccomplishedit，andatlengththestrangerwasseatedinachairinthekitchen。
"Now，thefustthing，"observedSeth，"istogetthemwetclothesoffyou。UsuallyI’dhaveagoodfirehere，butthatmiserableEzryhas——thatis，myassistant’sleftme，andIhavetogoitalone，asyoumightsay。Sowe’llgetyoutobedand……No，youcan’tundressyourself，neither。Setstill，andI’llhaveyoupeeledinajiffy。"
Hisguestwasmakingfeebleeffortstoremovehissocks。Atkinspushedhimbackintothechairandstrippedtheblueanddrippingragsfromfeetwhichwerealmostasbluefromcold。Thecastawayattemptedaweakresistance，butgaveitupandsaid，withawhimsicalsmile：
"I’mmightilyobligedtoyou。Ineverrealizedbeforethatavaletwassuchablessing。Mostofminehavebeenconfoundednuisances。"
"Hey？"queriedSeth，lookingup。
"Nothing。Pardonmeforcomparingyouwithavalet。"
"Landsakes！Idon’tcarewhatyoucallme。Iwasoutofmyheadoncemyself——typhoidfever’twas——andtheysaythethingsIcalledthedoctorwassomethin’scandalous。Youain’tresponsible。You’rebeatout，andyourbrain’sweak，liketherestofyou。NowholdontillIgetyouanightgown。"
Hestartedforthebedroom。Theyoungmanseemedabittroubled。
"Justaminute，"heobserved。"Don’tyouthinkIhadbettermovetoalessconspicuousapartment？Thedoorisopen，andifanyofyourneighborsshouldhappenby——anyladies，forinstance，I——"
"Ladies！"Mr。Atkinsregardedhimfrowningly。"Inthefustplace，thereain’taneighbornigher’nfourmiles；and，inthenext，I’dhaveyouunderstandnowomencometothishouse。Ifyouknewmebetter，youngfeller，you’dknowthat。Setwhereyoube。"
Thenightshirtwasoneofthelightkeeper’sown，and，althoughSethwasagood-sizedman，itfittedthecastawayalmosttootightlyforcomfort。However，itwasdryandwarmand，byleavingabuttonortwounfastenedattheneck，answeredthepurposewellenough。Thestrangerwaspilotedtothebedroom，assistedintothedepthsofafeatherbed，andcoveredwithseverallayersofblanketsandpatchworkquilts。
"There！"observedSeth，contentedly，"nowyougotosleep。Ifyougettosweatin’，somuchthebetter。’Twillgetsomeofthatcoldwateroutofyou。Solong！"
Hedeparted，closingthedoorafterhim。Thenhebuiltafireintherange，gotbreakfast，ateit，washedthedishesandcontinuedhisforenoon’swork。Notasoundfromthebedroom。Evidentlythestrangearrivalhadtakentheadviceconcerninggoingtosleep。Butallthetimehewaswashingdishes，rubbingbrassworkorsweeping，Mr。Atkins’smindwasbusywiththepuzzlewhichfatehadhandedhim。Occasionallyhechuckled，andoftenheshookhishead。Hecouldmakenothingoutofit。Onethingonlywascertain——hehadneverbeforemetahumanbeingexactlylikethisspecimen。
Itwashalfpasttwelvebeforethereweresignsoflifeinthebedroom。Sethwassettingthetablefordinner，whenthedooroftheroomopenedalittleway，andavoicesaid：
"Isay，areyouthere？"
"Ibe。Whatdoyouwant？"
"Wouldyoumindtellingmewhatyou’vedonewithmyclothes？"
"Notabit。I’vegot’emoutontheline，andtheyain’tdryyet。
Ifyou’lllookonthechairbythesou’westwindowyou’llfindarig-outofmine。I’mafraid’twillfityoutooquick——you’resuchanelephant——butI’llriskitifyouwill。"
Apparentlythestrangerwaswillingtoriskit，forinafewmomentsheappeared，dressedintheAtkinsSundaysuitofbluecloth，andwithSeth’spetcarpetslippersonhisfeet。
"Hello！"wasthelightkeeper’sgreeting。"Howyoufeelin’？——
better？"
"Tiptop，thankyou。Wheredoyouwash，whenit’snecessary？"
"Basinrightthereinthesink。Soapinthebecketovertopofit。
Rollertowelontheclosetdoor。Ain’tyouhadwaterenoughforaspell？"
"Notfreshwater，thankyou。I’mcakedwithsaltfromheadtofoot。"
"Doesmakeafellerfeellikeasplitherrin’，ifheain’tusedtoit。Thinkyoucaneatanything？"
"CanI？"Theresponsewasenthusiastic。"Youwatchme！Mylastmealwasyesterdaynoon。"
"YesterdayNOON！Didn’tyoueatnosupper？"
"No。"
"Whynot？"
"Well，I——well，tobefrank，becauseIhadn’ttheprice。Ittookmylastcenttopaymyfareonthatblessedsteamer。"
"Greatlandoflove！Whattimewasitwhenyoufelloverboard？"
"Oh，Idon’tknow。Twoo’clock，perhaps。"
"Twoo’clock！Whatwasyoudoin’upattwoo’clock？Whywasn’tyouinyourstateroomasleep？"
"Ihadn’tanystateroom。Stateroomscostmoney。"
"Mysoul！Andyouswumthreehoursonanemptystomach？"
"Notaltogether。Partofitonmyback。But，ifyou’llexcusefamiliarityonshortacquaintance，thosethingsyou’recookingsmellgoodtome。"
"Them’sclamfritters，and，ifYOU’LLexcusemysayin’sothatshouldn’t，theyAREgood。Setdownandfillup。"
Thevisitoratenineofthefritters，asliceofdried-applepie，anddranktwocupsofcoffee。Seth，betweenintervalsoffryingandeating，watchedhimwithtremendouscuriosityandasmuchpatienceashecouldmuster。Whenthepiewasfinishedheaskedthefirstofthequestionswithwhichhehadbeenburstingalltheforenoon。
"Tellme，"hesaid，"how’dyoucometofalloverboard？"
"I’mnotverycertainjusthowithappened。Irememberleaningovertherailandwatchingthewaves。ThenIwasverydizzyallatonce。
ThenextthingIknewIwasinthewater。"
"Dizzy，hey？Seasick，maybe。"
"Iguessnot。I’maprettygoodsailor。I’minclinedtothinkthecausewasthatemptystomachyoumentioned。"
"Um-hm。Youdidn’thavenosupper。Still，youatethenoonafore。"
"Notmuch。Onlyasandwich。"
"Asandwich！Whatdidyouhaveforbreakfast？"
"Well，thefactis，Ioversleptanddecidedtoomitthebreakfast。"
"Gosh！nowonderyougotdizzy。IfIwentwithoutmealsforawholedayIcal’lateI’dbeworsethandizzy。Whatdidyoudowhenyoufoundyourselfinthewater？"
"Yelledatfirst，butnooneheardme。ThenIsawsomelightsoffinthisdirectionandstartedtoswimforthem。Imadetheshorefinally，butIwassousedupthatIdon’trememberanythingafterthelanding。ThinkItookanap。"
"Ipresumelikely。Wonder’twasn’tyoureverlastin’nap！Tut！tut！
tut！Thinkofit！"
"Idon’twantto，thankyou。Itisn’tpleasantenoughtothinkof。
I’mhereand——bytheway，whereIShere？"
"ThisisEastborotownship——Eastboro，CapeCod。ThemlightsoutthereareEastboroTwin-Lights。I’mthekeeperof’em。Myname’sAtkins，SethAtkins。"
"Delightedtomeetyou，Mr。Atkins。Andtremendouslyobligedtoyou，besides。"
"Youneedn’tbe。Iain’tdonenothin’。Letmesee，yousaidyournamewas——"
"DidI？"Theyoungmanseemedstartled，almostalarmed。"When？"
Sethwasembarrassed，butnotmuch。"Well，"headmitted，"Idon’tknow’syoudidsayit，cometothinkofit。WhatISyourname？"
"Myname？"
"Yes。"
"Oh，why——mynameisBrown——er——JohnBrown。Notthegentlemanwhowashanged，ofcourse；distantrelative，that’sall。"
"Hum！JohnBrown，hey？Whatsteamerdidyoufalloffof？"
"Why——why——Ican’tseemtoremember。That’sodd，isn’tit？"
"Yes，Ishouldsay’twas。Wherewasshebound？"
"Bound？Oh，youmeanwherewasshegoing？"
"Sartin。"
"Ithink——Ithinkshewasgoingto——to……Humph！howstrangethisis！"
"What？"
"Why，thatIshouldforgetallthesethings。"
Thelightkeeperregardedhisguestwithsuspicion。
"Yaas，"hedrawledslowly，"whenyoucallitstrangeyouain’texaggeratin’nonewuthmentionin’。Is’pose，"headded，afteramoment，duringwhichhestaredintentlyatMr。Brown，whosmiledinpoliteacknowledgmentofthestare；"Is’poselikelyyoucouldn’tpossiblyrememberwhatportyouhailedfrom？"
"Isupposenot，"wasthecalmreply。
Sethrosefromthetable。
"Well，"heobserved，"I’vebeenupallnight，too，andit’spastmybedtime。AsItoldyou，myassistant’sleftallofasuddenandI’maloneinchargeofgov’mentproperty。Ioughttoturnin，but——"hehesitated。
JohnBrownalsorose。
"Mr。Atkins，"hesaid，"mymemoryseemstobeprettybad，butI
haven’tforgotteneverything。Forinstance，"hissmiledisappeared，andhistonebecameearnest，"IcanrememberperfectlywellthatI’mnotacrook，thatIhaven’tdoneanythingtobeashamedof——asIseeit——thatI’mverygratefultoyou，andthatIdon’tsteal。Ifyoucaretobelievethatand，also，that，beingneitherasneakorathief，Isha’n’tclearoutwiththespoonswhileyou’reasleep，youmight——well，youmightriskturningin。"
Thelightkeeperdidnotanswerimmediately。Thepairlookedeachotherstraightintheeye。
ThenSethyawnedandturnedtowardthebedroom。
"I抣lriskit，"hesaid，curtly。"IfIain’tawakebysixo’clockI
wishyou’dcallme。You’llfindsomespareclaypipesandtobaccoonthemantelpiecebytheclock。Solong。"
Heenteredthebedroomandclosedthedoor。Mr。Brownsteppedovertothemantelandhelpedhimselftoapipe。
CHAPTERIII
MR。BROWNPUTSINANAPPLICATION
Athalfpastfivethelightkeeperopenedthebedroomdoorandpeepedout。Thekitchenwasempty。TherewasnosignofMr。Brown。IttookSethjustfourminutestoclimbintothegarmentshehaddiscardedandreachtheopenair。Hisguestwasseatedonthebenchbesidethehouse，oneoftheclaypipesinhishand。Hewaslookingouttosea。Hespokefirst：
"Hello！"hesaid。"You’reupaheadoftime，aren’tyou？Itisn’tsixyet。"
Atkinsgrinned。"No，"heanswered，"’tain’t！notquite。ButsenceEzryclearedoutI’vebeenakindofhumanalarmclock，asyoumightsay。Feelin’allright，areyou？"
"Yes，thankyou。Isay，"holdingupthepipeandregardingitrespectfully，"isthistobaccoofyoursfurnishedbythegovernment？"
"No。SomeIboughtmyselflasttimeIwasovertotheCenter。Why，what’sthematterwithit？Ain’titgood？"
"Perhapsso。"
"Thenwhatmadeyouask？Ain’titstrongenough？"
"Strongenough！You’redisposedtobesarcastic。It’sstrongerthanIam。Whatdotheyflavoritwith——tar？"
"Say，let’sseethatplug。THATain’tsmokin’tobacco。"
"Whatisit，then——asphalt？"
"Why，haw！haw！That’sapieceofEzry’schewin’。Someheleftwhenhewentaway。It’s’HonestFriend。’’TISflavoredupconsider’ble。Andyoutriedtosmokeit！Ho！ho！"
Theyoungmanjoinedinthelaugh。
"Thatexplainswhyitbubbledso，"hesaid。"Iusedtwenty-twomatches，byactualcount，andthengaveitup。Bah！"hesmackedhislipsdisgustedlyandmadeaface："’HonestFriend’——isthatthenameofit？Meaningthatit’llsticktoyouthroughlife，Ipresume。
Waterhasnoeffectonthetaste；I’vetriedit。"
"Maybesomesuppermighthelp。I’llwashthedinnerdishesandstartgettin’it。Allthereseemstobetothisjobofminejustnowiswashin’dishes。AndhowIhateit！"
Hereenteredthekitchen。Thenheutteredanexclamation：
"Why，what’sbecomeofthedishes？"hedemanded。"Ileft’emhereonthetable。"
Brownarosefromthebenchandsaunteredtothedoor。
"Iwashedthem，"hesaid。"IjudgedthatyouwouldhavetoifI
didn’t，anditseemedtheleastIcoulddo，everythingconsidered。"
"Sho！Youwashedthedishes，hey？Where’dyouput’em？"
"Intheclosetthere。That’swheretheybelong，isn’tit？"
Sethwenttothecloset，tookaplatefromthepileandinspectedit。
"Um！"hegrunted，turningtheplateover，"thatain’tsuchabadjob。Notsoall-firedbad，foragreenhand。Whatdidyouwash’emwith？"
"AclothIfoundhangingbythesink。"
"Isee。Yes，yes。Andyouwiped’emon——what？"
"Well，totellyouthetruth，Ididn’tseeanytowelsinsight，exceptthatoneonthedoor；and，forvariousreasons，Ijudgedthatwasn’tadishtowel。"
"Goodjudgment。’Tisn’t。Goon。"
"SoIhuntedaround，andintheclosetintheparlor，orlivingroom，orwhateveryoucallit，Ifoundawholestackofthingsthatlookedliketowels；soIusedoneofthose。"
"Isthisit？"Sethpickedupadampandbedraggledclothfromthetable。
"That’sit。Ishouldhavehungitupsomewhere，Isuppose。I’lllosemyjobifIdon’tlookout。"
"Um！Well，I’mmuchobligedtoyou，only——"
"Only？"
"Onlyyouwashedthemdisheswiththesinkclothandwiped’emwithapillercase。"
Thevolunteerdishwasher’smouthopened。
"NO！"hegasped。
"Ya-as。"
"Apillowcase！Well，byGeorge！"
"Um-hm。Ijedgeyouain’twashedmanydishesinyourlifetime。"
"Notsoverymany。No。"
Theylookedateachotherandburstintoaroaroflaughter。Brownwasthefirsttorecover。
"Well，"heobserved，"Iguessit’suptome。Ifyou’llkindlyputmenexttoagenuinecloth，orsponge，orwhateveristhepropercaperfordish-washing，I’llundertaketodothemoveragain。And，forheaven’ssake，lockupthepillowcases。"
Sethprotested，declaringthatthedishesneednotberewashedthatveryminute，andthatwhenhegotachancehewoulddothemhimself。
Buttheyoungmanwasfirm，and，atlast，thelightkeeperyielded。
"It’srealkindofyou，"hedeclared，"andbein’asI’veconsider’bletodo，Idon’tknowbutI’llletyou。Here’sacoupleofdishcloths，andthere’sthetowels。I’mgoin’outtoseetothelights，andI’llbebackprettysoonandgetsupper。"
Laterintheevening，aftersupper，thehouseworkdone，theysatagainonthebenchbesidethedoor，eachwithapipe，filled，thistime，withgenuinesmokingtobacco。Beforeandbelowthemwasthequietsea，rollinglazilyunderthestars。Overheadthebiglanternsinthetowersthrusttheirparallellancesoflightafarintothedarkness。Theonlysoundswerethelowwashofthesurfandthehumoftheeagermosquitoes。Brownwassilent，alternatelypuffingatthepipeandslappingattheinsects，whichlatter，apparentlyfindinghisskineasiertopuncturethanthatofthetannedandleatheryAtkins，weremakingthemostoftheiropportunity。
Seth，whosecuriosityhadbeencheckedbutnotsmotheredbyhiscompanion’sevidentdesiretosaynothingconcerninghimself，wasbusythinkingofvariousguilefulschemeswithwhichtoentrapthecastawayintothedisclosureofhisidentity。Havingpreparedhisbait，heproceededtogetoveraline。
"Mr。Brown，"hesaid，"Iain’tmentionedittoyouafore，’countofyourneedin’restandgrubandallafteryourfallin’overboardlastnight。Buttomorreryou’llbefeelin’fustrateagain，andI
cal’lateyou’llbewantin’togetwordtoyourfolks。NowwecantelephonetotheEastborodepot，wherethere’satelegraph，andthedepotmaster’llsendadispatchtoyourpeople，lettin’’emknowyou’reallsafeandsound。Ifyou’lljustgivemetheaddressandwhatyouwanttosay，I’ll’tendtoitmyself。Thedepotmaster’sagoodfriendofmine，andhe’llrisksendingthedispatch’collect’
ifItellhimto。"
"Thankyou，"repliedBrown，shortly。
"Oh，don’tmentionit。Nowwho’llIsenditto？"
"Youneedn’tsendit。Icouldn’tthinkofputtingyoutofurthertrouble。"
"Trouble！’Tain’tnotroubletotelephone。Landsakes，Idoitfourorfivetimesaday。Nowwho’llIsenditto？"
"Youneedn’tsendit。"
"Oh，well，ofcourse，ifyou’druthersendityourself——"
"Isha’n’tsendit。Itreallyisn’tworthwhile’phoningortelegraphingeither。Ididn’tdrown，andI’mverycomfortable，thankyou——orshouldbeifitweren’tforthesemosquitoes。"
"Comf’table！Yes，you’recomf’table，buthowaboutyourfolks？
Won’ttheylearn，soon’sthatsteamergetsinto——intoPortland——or——
or——NewYorkorBoston——or……Hey？"
"Ididn’tspeak。"
Sethswallowedhardandcontinued。"Well，wherevershewasbound，"
hesnapped。"Won’ttheylearnthatyousotsailinherandnevergotthere？Thenthey’llknowthatyouMUSThavefelloverboard。"
JohnBrowndrewamouthfulofsmokethroughthestemofthepipeandblewitspitefullyamongthemosquitoes。
"Idon’tseehowthey’lllearnit，"hereplied。
"Why，thesteamerfolks’llwireemrightoff。"
"They’llhavetofindthemfirst。"
"That’llbeeasyenough。There’llbeyourname，’JohnBrown，’ofsuchandsuchaplace，writtenrightonthepurser’sbook，won’tit。"
"No，"drawledMr。Brown，"itwon’t。"
Thelightkeeperfeltverymuchasifthisparticularroadtothetruthhadendedsuddenlyinablindalley。Hepulledviciouslyathischinwhiskers。Hiscompanionshiftedhispositiononthebench。
Silencefellagain，asmuchsilenceasthemosquitoeswouldpermit。
SuddenlyBrownseemedtoreachadetermination。
"Atkins，"hesaidbriskly，andwithconsiderablebitternessinhistone，"don’tyouworryaboutmypeople。Theydon’tknowwhereIam，and——well，someofthem，atleast，don’tcare。MaybeI’marollingstone——atanyrate，Ihaven’tgatheredanymoss，anyfinancialmoss。
I’mbroke。Ihaven’tanyfriends，anythatIwishtoremember；I
haven’tanyjob。Iamwhatyoumightcalldownandout。IfIhaddrownedwhenIfelloverboardlastnight，itmighthavebeenagoodthing——oritmightnot。Wewon’targuethequestion，becausejustnowI’mreadytotakeeitherside。Butlet’stalkaboutyourself。
You’relightkeeperhere？"
"Ibe，yes。"
"Andtheseparticularlightsseemtobeagoodwayfromeverywhereandeverybody。"
"FivemilefromEastboroCenter，sixteenfromDenboro，andtwofromthenighestlifesavin’station。Why？"
"Oh，justforinstance。Noneighbors，yousaid？"
"Naryone。"
"Inoticedabungalowjustacrossthebrookhere。Itseemstobeshutup。Whoownsit？"
"Bunga——which？Oh，thatcottageoveront’othersidethecrick？
Thatb’longstoacoupleofpaintin’fellersfromupBostonway。
Nothousepainters，youunderstand，butfellersthatputintheirtimepaintin’picturesofthewaterandthebeachandthelikeofthat。Seemsaprettysillyjobforgrown-upmen，butthey’rerealpleasantandfolksy。Don’tputonnoairsnornothin。’They’remostgen’rallyhereeveryJuneandJulyandAugust，butIunderstandtheyain’tcomin’thisyear，sothecottage’llbeshutup。I’llmiss’em，kindof。Oneof’em’snameisGrahamandt’other’sHamilton。"
"Isee。Manyvisitorstothelights？"
"Notmany。Onceinawhileapicniccomesoverinaliveryfour-
seater，butnotoften。Thesamegangnevercomestwice。Road’stoobad，andtheycomplainlikefuryaboutthemoskeeters。"
"Dothey？Howpeevish！Atkins，you’renotmarried？"
Itwasaninnocentquestion，butithadanastonishingeffect。Thelightkeeperbouncedonthebenchasifsomeonehadkickeditviolentlyfrombeneath。
"What？"hequaveredshrilly。"Wha——what’sthat？"
Brownwassurprised。"Iaskedifyouweremarried，that’sall，"hesaid。"Ican’tsee——"
"Stop！"Seth’svoiceshook，andhebentdowntoglarethroughthedarknessathiscompanion’sface。"Stop！"heordered。"YouaskedmeifIwas——married？"
"Yes。Whyshouldn’tI？"
"Whyshouldn’tyou？Seehere，youngfeller，you——you——whatmadeyouaskthat？"
"Whatmademe？"
"Stopsayin’mywordsafterme。Areyouamanorapoll-parrot？
Can’tyouunderstandplainUnitedStateslanguage？Whatmadeyou？
OrWHOmadeyou？Whotoldyoutoaskmethatquestion？"
Hepoundedthebenchwithhisfist。Thepairstaredateachotherforamoment；thenBrownleanedbackandbegantowhistle。Sethseizedhimbytheshoulders。
"Quitthatfoolishness，d’youhear？"hesnarled。"Quitit，andanswerme！"
Theanswerwasprefacedbyapityingshakeofthehead。
"It’sthemosquitoes，"observedtheyoungman，musingly。"Theygetthroughandpuncturethebrainafteratime，Ipresume。I’mnotsurprisedexactly，but，"withasigh，"I’mverysorry。"
"Whatareyoutalkin’about，"demandedAtkins。"Beyoucrazy？"
"No-o。I’Mnot。"
"YOU’REnot！DoyoumeanthatIam？"
"Well，"slowly，"I’mnotanexpertinsuchcases，butwhenaperfectlysimple，commonplacequestionsetsachaptopoundingandscreamingandofferingviolence，then——well，it’seitherinsanityoranattemptatinsult，oneortheother。I’vegivenyouthebenefitofthedoubt。"
Hescratchedamatchonhisheelandrelithispipe。Thelightkeeperstillstared，suspiciousandpuzzled。Thenhedrewalongbreath。
"I——Ididn’tmeantoinsultyou，"hestammered。
"Gladtohearit，I’msure。IfIwereyou，however，Ishouldseeadoctorfortheothertrouble。"
"AndIain’tcrazy，neither。Ibegyourpardonforhollerin’andgrabbin’holdofyou。"
"Granted。"
"Thankye。Now，"hesitatingly，"wouldyoumindtellin’mewhyyouaskedmeifIwasmarried？"
"Notintheleast。Iaskedmerelybecauseitoccurredtomethatyoumightbe。Ofcourse，Ihadseennothingofyourwife，butitwasbarelypossiblethatshewasawayonavisit，orsomewhere。
Thereisnoregulationforbiddinglightkeepersmarrying——atleast，I
neverheardofany——andsoIasked；that’sall。"
Sethnodded。"Isee，"hesaid，slowly；"yes，yes，Isee。Soyoudidn’thavenospecialreason。"
"Ididnot。Ofcourse，ifIhadrealizedthatyouweresubjectto——
er——fits，Ishouldhavebeenmorecareful。"
"Hum！……Well，I——Ibegyourpardonagain。I——Iamkindoftouchyonsomep’ints。Didn’tItellyounowomencamehere？
Married！Awife！DoIlooklikeadumfool？"
"Notnow。"
"Well，then！AndI’veapologizedforbein’oneafewminutesago，ain’tI。"
"Yes，youhave。Nogrudgeonmypart，Iassureyou。Let’sforgetitandtalkofsomethingelse。"
Theydid，butthedialoguewasratherjerky。Brownwasthinking，andAtkinsseemedmoodyanddisinclinedtotalk。Afteratimeheannouncedthatitwasgettinglateandhecal’latedhewouldgouptothelightroom。"You’dbetterturnin，"headded，rising。
返回顶部