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第1章

19774字

FirstSeries（1892）

Dedication：ToT。A。

1DannyDeever2Tommy3’Fuzzy-Wuzzy’

4Soldier，Soldier5Screw-Guns6Cells7GungaDin8Oonts9Loot10’Snarleyow’

11TheWidowatWindsor12Belts13TheYoungBritishSoldier14Mandalay15Troopin’

16TheWidow’sParty17Fordo’Kabul18Gentlemen-Rankers19RouteMarchin’

20Shillin’aDaySecondSeries（1896）

21’Bobs’

22’BacktotheArmyAgain’

23’BirdsofPrey’March24’Soldieran；SailorToo’

25Sappers26ThatDay27’TheMenthatfoughtatMinden28CholeraCamp29TheLadies30Bill’Awkins31TheMotherLodge32’FollowMe’Ome33TheSergeant’sWeddin’

34TheJacket35The’Eathen36TheShut-EyeSentry37’Mary，PityWomen！’

38FortoAdmireDedicationToT。A。

Ihavemadeforyouasong，Anditmayberightorwrong，Butonlyyoucantellmeifit’strue；

IhavetriedfortoexplainBothyourpleasureandyourpain，And，Thomas，here’smybestrespectstoyou！

Othere’llsurelycomeadayWhenthey’llgiveyouallyourpay，AndtreatyouasaChristianoughttodo；

So，untilthatdaycomesround，Heavenkeepyousafeandsound，And，Thomas，here’smybestrespectstoyou！

R。K。

DannyDeever"Whatarethebuglesblowin’for？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"Toturnyouout，toturnyouout"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

"Whatmakesyoulooksowhite，sowhite？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"I’mdreadin’whatI’vegottowatch"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

Forthey’rehangin’DannyDeever，youcanheartheDeadMarchplay，Theregiment’sin’ollowsquare——they’rehangin’himto-day；

They’vetakenofhisbuttonsoffan’cuthisstripesaway，An’they’rehangin’DannyDeeverinthemornin’。

"Whatmakestherear-rankbreatheso’ard？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"It’sbittercold，it’sbittercold"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

"Whatmakesthatfront-rankmanfalldown？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"Atoucho’sun，atoucho’sun"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

Theyarehangin’DannyDeever，theyaremarchin’of’imround，They’ave’altedDannyDeeverby’iscoffinontheground；

An’’e’llswingin’arfaminuteforasneakin’shootin’hound——

Othey’rehangin’DannyDeeverinthemornin’！

"’Iscotwasright-’andcottomine"，saidFiles-on-Parade。

"’E’ssleepin’outan’farto-night"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

"I’vedrunk’isbeerascoreo’times"，saidFiles-on-Parade。

"’E’sdrinkin’bitterbeeralone"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

Theyarehangin’DannyDeever，youmustmark’imto’isplace，For’eshotacomradesleepin’——youmustlook’imintheface；

Nine’undredof’iscountyan’theregiment’sdisgrace，Whilethey’rehangin’DannyDeeverinthemornin’。

"What’sthatsoblackagin’thesun？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"It’sDannyfightin’’ardforlife"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

"What’sthatthatwhimpersover’ead？"saidFiles-on-Parade。

"It’sDanny’ssoulthat’spassin’now"，theColour-Sergeantsaid。

Forthey’redonewithDannyDeever，youcan’earthequickstepplay，Theregiment’sincolumn，an’they’remarchin’usaway；

Ho！theyoungrecruitsareshakin’，an’they’llwanttheirbeerto-day，Afterhangin’DannyDeeverinthemornin’。

TommyIwentintoapublic-’ousetogetapinto’beer，Thepublican’eupan’sez，"Weservenored-coatshere。"

Thegirlsbe’indthebartheylaughedan’giggledfittodie，Ioutsintothestreetagainan’tomyselfsezI：

Oit’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’"Tommy，goaway"；

Butit’s"Thankyou，MisterAtkins"，whenthebandbeginstoplay，Thebandbeginstoplay，myboys，thebandbeginstoplay，Oit’s"Thankyou，MisterAtkins"，whenthebandbeginstoplay。

Iwentintoatheatreassoberascouldbe，Theygaveadrunkcivilianroom，but’adn’tnoneforme；

Theysentmetothegalleryorroundthemusic-’alls，Butwhenitcomestofightin’，Lord！they’llshovemeinthestalls！

Forit’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’"Tommy，waitoutside"；

Butit’s"SpecialtrainforAtkins"whenthetrooper’sonthetide，Thetroopship’sonthetide，myboys，thetroopship’sonthetide，Oit’s"SpecialtrainforAtkins"whenthetrooper’sonthetide。

Yes，makin’mocko’uniformsthatguardyouwhileyousleepIscheaperthanthemuniforms，an’they’restarvationcheap；

An’hustlin’drunkensoldierswhenthey’regoin’largeabitIsfivetimesbetterbusinessthanparadin’infullkit。

Thenit’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’"Tommy，’ow’syersoul？"

Butit’s"Thinredlineof’eroes"whenthedrumsbegintoroll，Thedrumsbegintoroll，myboys，thedrumsbegintoroll，Oit’s"Thinredlineof’eroes"whenthedrumsbegintoroll。

Wearen’tnothinred’eroes，norwearen’tnoblackguardstoo，Butsinglemeninbarricks，mostremarkablelikeyou；

An’ifsometimesourconduckisn’tallyourfancypaints，Why，singlemeninbarricksdon’tgrowintoplastersaints；

Whileit’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’"Tommy，fallbe’ind"，Butit’s"Pleasetowalkinfront，sir"，whenthere’stroubleinthewind，There’stroubleinthewind，myboys，there’stroubleinthewind，Oit’s"Pleasetowalkinfront，sir"，whenthere’stroubleinthewind。

Youtalko’betterfoodforus，an’schools，an’fires，an’all：

We’llwaitforextryrationsifyoutreatusrational。

Don’tmessaboutthecook-roomslops，butproveittoourfaceTheWidow’sUniformisnotthesoldier-man’sdisgrace。

Forit’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’"Chuckhimout，thebrute！"

Butit’s"Saviourof’iscountry"whenthegunsbegintoshoot；

An’it’sTommythis，an’Tommythat，an’anythingyouplease；

An’Tommyain’tabloomin’fool——youbetthatTommysees！

Fuzzy-Wuzzy（SoudanExpeditionaryForce）

We’vefoughtwithmanymenacrosttheseas，An’someof’emwasbravean’somewasnot：

ThePaythanan’theZuluan’Burmese；

ButtheFuzzywasthefinesto’thelot。

Wenevergotaha’porth’schangeof’im：

’Esquattedinthescruban’’ockedour’orses，’EcutoursentriesupatSuakim，An’’eplayedthecatan’banjowithourforces。

So’ere’stoyou，Fuzzy-Wuzzy，atyour’omeintheSoudan；

You’reaporebenighted’eathenbutafirst-classfightin’man；

Wegivesyouyourcertificate，an’ifyouwantitsignedWe’llcomean’’avearompwithyouwheneveryou’reinclined。

WetookourchanstamongtheKhyber’ills，TheBoersknockedussillyatamile，TheBurmangiveusIrriwaddychills，An’aZuluimpidishedusupinstyle：

ButallweevergotfromsuchastheyWaspoptowhattheFuzzymadeusswaller；

We’eldourbloomin’own，thepaperssay，ButmanformantheFuzzyknockedus’oller。

Then’ere’stoyou，Fuzzy-Wuzzy，an’themissisandthekid；

Ourorderswastobreakyou，an’ofcoursewewentan’did。

WesloshedyouwithMartinis，an’itwasn’t’ardlyfair；

Butforalltheoddsagin’you，Fuzzy-Wuz，youbrokethesquare。

’E’asn’tgotnopapersof’isown，’E’asn’tgotnomedalsnorrewards，Sowemustcertifytheskill’e’sshownInusin’of’islongtwo-’andedswords：

When’e’s’oppin’inan’outamongthebushWith’iscoffin-’eadedshieldan’shovel-spear，An’appydaywithFuzzyontherushWilllastan’ealthyTommyforayear。

So’ere’stoyou，Fuzzy-Wuzzy，an’yourfriendswhicharenomore，Ifwe’adn’tlostsomemessmateswewould’elpyoutodeplore；

Butgivean’take’sthegospel，an’we’llcallthebargainfair，Forifyou’avelostmorethanus，youcrumpledupthesquare！

’Erushesatthesmokewhenweletdrive，An’，beforeweknow，’e’s’ackin’atour’ead；

’E’sall’otsandan’gingerwhenalive，An’’e’sgenerallyshammin’when’e’sdead。

’E’sadaisy，’e’saducky，’e’salamb！

’E’sainjia-rubberidiotonthespree，’E’stheon’ythingthatdoesn’tgiveadamnForaRegimento’BritishInfantree！

So’ere’stoyou，Fuzzy-Wuzzy，atyour’omeintheSoudan；

You’reaporebenighted’eathenbutafirst-classfightin’man；

An’’ere’stoyou，Fuzzy-Wuzzy，withyour’ayrick’eadof’air——

Youbigblackboundin’beggar——foryoubrokeaBritishsquare！

Soldier，Soldier"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，Whydon’tyoumarchwithmytruelove？"

"We’refreshfromofftheshipan’’e’smaybegivetheslip，An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

Newlove！Truelove！

Bestgolookforanewlove，Thedeadtheycannotrise，an’you’dbetterdryyoureyes，An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，Whatdidyouseeo’mytruelove？"

"Iseed’imservetheQueeninasuito’rifle-green，An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，Didyeseenomoreo’mytruelove？"

"Iseed’imrunnin’bywhentheshotsbeguntofly——

Butyou’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，Didaughttake’armtomytruelove？"

"Icouldn’tseethefight，forthesmokeitlaysowhite——

An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，I’llupan’tendtomytruelove！"

"’E’slyingonthedeadwithabulletthrough’is’ead，An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，I’lldownan’diewithmytruelove！"

"Thepitwedug’ll’ide’iman’thetwentymenbeside’im——

An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，Doyoubringnosignfrommytruelove？"

"Ibringalockof’airthat’eallususedtowear，An’you’dbestgolookforanewlove。"

"Soldier，soldiercomefromthewars，OthenIknowit’strueI’velostmytruelove！"

"An’Itellyoutruthagain——whenyou’velostthefeelo’painYou’dbesttakemeforyourtruelove。"

Truelove！Newlove！

Besttake’imforanewlove，Thedeadtheycannotrise，an’you’dbetterdryyoureyes，An’you’dbesttake’imforyourtruelove。

Screw-GunsSmokin’mypipeonthemountings，sniffin’themornin’cool，Iwalksinmyoldbrowngaitersalongo’myoldbrownmule，Withseventygunnersbe’indme，an’neverabeggarforgetsIt’sonlythepickoftheArmythathandlesthedearlittlepets——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns——thescrew-gunstheyallloveyou！

Sowhenwecallroundwithafewguns，o’courseyouwillknowwhattodo——hoo！hoo！

JestsendinyourChiefan’surrender——

it’sworseifyoufightsoryouruns：

Youcangowhereyouplease，youcanskidupthetrees，butyoudon’tgetawayfromtheguns！

Theysendsusalongwheretheroadsare，butmostlywegoeswheretheyain’t：

We’dclimbupthesideofasign-boardan’trusttothesticko’thepaint：

We’vechiviedtheNagaan’Looshai，we’vegivetheAfreedeemanfits，Forwefanciesourselvesattwothousand，wegunsthatarebuiltintwobits——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns……

Ifamandoesn’twork，why，wedrills’iman’teaches’im’owtobehave；

Ifabeggarcan’tmarch，why，wekills’iman’rattles’iminto’isgrave。

You’vegottostanduptoourbusinessan’springwithoutsnatchin’orfuss。

D’yousaythatyousweatwiththefield-guns？

ByGod，youmustlatherwithus——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns……

Theeaglesisscreamin’aroundus，theriver’sa-moanin’below，We’reclearo’thepinean’theoak-scrub，we’reoutontherocksan’thesnow，An’thewindisasthinasawhip-lashwhatcarriesawaytotheplainsTherattlean’stampo’thelead-mules——

thejinglety-jinko’thechains——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns……

There’sawheelontheHornso’theMornin’，an’awheelontheedgeo’thePit，An’adropintonothin’beneathyouasstraightasabeggarcanspit：

Withthesweatrunnin’outo’yourshirt-sleeves，an’thesunoffthesnowinyourface，An’’arfo’themenonthedrag-ropestoholdtheoldgunin’erplace——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns……

Smokin’mypipeonthemountings，sniffin’themornin’cool，Iclimbsinmyoldbrowngaitersalongo’myoldbrownmule。

Themonkeycansaywhatourroadwas——

thewild-goat’eknowswherewepassed。

Standeasy，youlong-earedolddarlin’s！

Outdrag-ropes！Withshrapnel！Holdfast——’Tss！’Tss！

Foryoualllovethescrew-guns——thescrew-gunstheyallloveyou！

Sowhenwetaketeawithafewguns，o’courseyouwillknowwhattodo——hoo！hoo！

JestsendinyourChiefan’surrender——

it’sworseifyoufightsoryouruns：

Youmayhideinthecaves，they’llbeonlyyourgraves，butyoucan’tgetawayfromtheguns！

CellsI’veaheadlikeaconcertina：I’veatonguelikeabutton-stick：

I’veamouthlikeanoldpotato，andI’mmorethanalittlesick，ButI’vehadmyfuno’theCorp’ral’sGuard：I’vemadethecindersfly，AndI’mhereintheClinkforathunderingdrinkandblackingtheCorporal’seye。

Withasecond-handovercoatundermyhead，Andabeautifulviewoftheyard，Oit’spack-drillformeandafortnight’sC。B。

For"drunkandresistingtheGuard！"

MaddrunkandresistingtheGuard——

’Strewth，butIsockeditthemhard！

Soit’spack-drillformeandafortnight’sC。B。

For"drunkandresistingtheGuard。"

Istartedo’canteenporter，Ifinishedo’canteenbeer，Butadoseo’ginthatamateslippedin，itwasthatthatbroughtmehere。

’TwasthatandanextrydoubleGuardthatrubbedmynoseinthedirt；

ButIfellawaywiththeCorp’ral’sstockandthebestoftheCorp’ral’sshirt。

Ileftmycapinapublic-house，mybootsinthepublicroad，AndLordknowswhere，andIdon’tcare，mybeltandmytunicgoed；

They’llstopmypay，they’llcutawaythestripesIusedtowear，ButIleftmymarkontheCorp’ral’sface，andIthinkhe’llkeepitthere！

Mywifeshecriesonthebarrack-gate，mykidinthebarrack-yard，Itain’tthatImindtheOrd’lyroom——it’sthatthatcutssohard。

I’lltakemyoathbeforethemboththatIwillsureabstain，ButassoonasI’minwithamateandgin，IknowI’lldoitagain！

Withasecond-handovercoatundermyhead，Andabeautifulviewoftheyard，Yes，it’spack-drillformeandafortnight’sC。B。

For"drunkandresistingtheGuard！"

MaddrunkandresistingtheGuard——

’Strewth，butIsockeditthemhard！

Soit’spack-drillformeandafortnight’sC。B。

For"drunkandresistingtheGuard。"

GungaDinYoumaytalko’ginandbeerWhenyou’requarteredsafeout’ere，An’you’resenttopenny-fightsan’Aldershotit；

ButwhenitcomestoslaughterYouwilldoyourworkonwater，An’you’lllickthebloomin’bootsof’imthat’sgotit。

NowinInjia’ssunnyclime，WhereIusedtospendmytimeA-servin’of’ErMajestytheQueen，OfallthemblackfacedcrewThefinestmanIknewWasourregimentalbhisti，GungaDin。

Hewas"Din！Din！Din！

Youlimpin’lumpo’brick-dust，GungaDin！

Hi！slipperyhitherao！

Water，getit！Paneelao！

Yousquidgy-nosedoldidol，GungaDin。"

Theuniform’eworeWasnothin’muchbefore，An’ratherlessthan’arfo’thatbe’ind，Forapieceo’twistyragAn’agoatskinwater-bagWasallthefield-equipment’ecouldfind。

Whenthesweatin’troop-trainlayInasidin’throughtheday，Wherethe’eatwouldmakeyourbloomin’eyebrowscrawl，Weshouted"HarryBy！"

Tillourthroatswerebricky-dry，Thenwewopped’im’cause’ecouldn’tserveusall。

Itwas"Din！Din！Din！

You’eathen，wherethemischief’aveyoubeen？

YouputsomejuldeeinitOrI’llmarrowyouthisminuteIfyoudon’tfillupmyhelmet，GungaDin！"

’Ewoulddotan’carryoneTillthelongestdaywasdone；

An’’edidn’tseemtoknowtheuseo’fear。

Ifwechargedorbrokeorcut，Youcouldbetyourbloomin’nut，’E’dbewaitin’fiftypacesrightflankrear。

With’ismussickon’isback，’Ewouldskipwithourattack，An’watchustillthebuglesmade"Retire"，An’forall’isdirty’ide’Ewaswhite，clearwhite，insideWhen’ewenttotendthewoundedunderfire！

Itwas"Din！Din！Din！"

Withthebulletskickin’dust-spotsonthegreen。

Whenthecartridgesranout，Youcouldhearthefront-filesshout，"Hi！ammunition-mulesan’GungaDin！"

Ishan’tforgitthenightWhenIdroppedbe’indthefightWithabulletwheremybelt-plateshould’a’been。

Iwaschokin’madwiththirst，An’themanthatspiedmefirstWasourgoodoldgrinnin’，gruntin’GungaDin。

’Eliftedupmy’ead，An’hepluggedmewhereIbled，An’’eguvme’arf-a-pinto’water-green：

Itwascrawlin’anditstunk，ButofallthedrinksI’vedrunk，I’mgratefullesttoonefromGungaDin。

Itwas"Din！Din！Din！

’Ere’sabeggarwithabulletthrough’isspleen；

’E’schawin’uptheground，An’’e’skickin’allaround：

ForGawd’ssakegitthewater，GungaDin！"

’EcarriedmeawayTowhereadoolilay，An’abulletcomean’drilledthebeggarclean。

’Eputmesafeinside，An’justbefore’edied，"I’opeyoulikedyourdrink"，sezGungaDin。

SoI’llmeet’imlateronAttheplacewhere’eisgone——

Whereit’salwaysdoubledrillandnocanteen；

’E’llbesquattin’onthecoalsGivin’drinktopoordamnedsouls，An’I’llgetaswiginhellfromGungaDin！

Yes，Din！Din！Din！

YouLazarushian-leatherGungaDin！

ThoughI’vebeltedyouandflayedyou，Bythelivin’Gawdthatmadeyou，You’reabettermanthanIam，GungaDin！

Oonts（NorthernIndiaTransportTrain）

Wotmakesthesoldier’s’earttopenk，wotmakes’imtoperspire？

Itisn’tstandin’uptochargenorlyin’downtofire；

Butit’severlastin’waitin’onaeverlastin’roadForthecommissariatcamelan’’iscommissariatload。

Otheoont，Otheoont，Othecommissariatoont！

With’issillynecka-bobbin’likeabasketfullo’snakes；

Wepacks’imlikeanidol，an’yououghtto’ear’imgrunt，An’whenwegets’imloadedup’isblessedgirth-ropebreaks。

Wotmakestherear-guardswearso’ardwhennightisdrorin’in，An’everynativefollowerisshiverin’for’isskin？

Itain’tthechansto’beingrushedbyPaythansfromthe’ills，It’sthecommissariatcamelputtin’on’isbloomin’frills！

Otheoont，Otheoont，Othehairyscaryoont！

A-trippin’overtent-ropeswhenwe’vegotthenightalarm！

Wesocks’imwithastretcher-polean’’eads’imoffinfront，An’whenwe’vesaved’isbloomin’life’echawsourbloomin’arm。

The’orse’eknowsaboveabit，thebullock’sbutafool，Theelephant’sagentleman，thebattery-mule’samule；

Butthecommissariatcam-u-el，whenallissaidan’done，’E’sadevilan’aostrichan’aorphan-childinone。

Otheoont，Otheoont，OtheGawd-forsakenoont！

Thelumpy-’umpy’ummin’-birda-singin’where’elies，’E’sblockedthewholedivisionfromtherear-guardtothefront，An’whenwegethimupagain——thebeggargoesan’dies！

’E’llgallan’chafean’lamean’fight——’esmellsmostawfulvile；

’E’lllose’isselfforeverifyoulet’imstrayamile；

’E’sgametograzethe’oledaylongan’’owlthe’olenightthrough，An’when’ecomestogreasyground’esplits’isselfintwo。

Otheoont，Otheoont，Othefloppin’，droppin’oont！

When’islonglegsgivefromunderan’’ismeltin’eyeisdim，Thetribesisupbe’indus，andthetribesisoutinfront——

Itain’tnojamforTommy，butit’skitesan’crowsfor’im。

Sowhenthecruelmarchisdone，an’whentheroadsisblind，An’whenweseesthecampinfrontan’’earstheshotsbe’ind，Ho！thenwestrips’issaddleoff，andall’iswoesispast：

’Ethinksonusthatused’imso，andgetsrevengeatlast。

Otheoont，Otheoont，Othefloatin’，bloatin’oont！

Thelatelamentedcamelinthewater-cut’elies；

Wekeepsamilebe’ind’iman’wekeepsamileinfront，But’egetsintothedrinkin’-casks，andtheno’coursewedies。

LootIfyou’veeverstoleapheasant-eggbe’indthekeeper’sback，Ifyou’veeversniggedthewashin’fromtheline，Ifyou’veevercrammedaganderinyourbloomin’’aversack，Youwillunderstandthislittlesongo’mine。

Buttheservicerulesare’ard，an’fromsuchwearedebarred，ForthesamewithEnglishmoralsdoesnotsuit。

（Cornet：Toot！toot！）

W’y，theycallamanarobberif’estuffs’ismarchin’clobberWiththe——

（Chorus）Loo！loo！Lulu！lulu！Loo！loo！Loot！loot！loot！

Owtheloot！

Bloomin’loot！

That’sthethingtomaketheboysgitupan’shoot！

It’sthesamewithdogsan’men，Ifyou’dmake’emcomeagainClap’emforwardwithaLoo！loo！Lulu！Loot！

（ff）Whoopee！Tear’im，puppy！Loo！loo！Lulu！Loot！loot！loot！

Ifyou’veknockedaniggeredgewayswhen’e’sthrustin’foryourlife，Youmustleave’imverycarefulwhere’efell；

An’maythankyourstarsan’gaitersifyoudidn’tfeel’isknifeThatyouain’ttoldofftobury’imaswell。

Thenthesweatin’TommieswonderastheyspadethebeggarsunderWhylootin’shouldbeenteredasacrime；

Soifmysongyou’ll’ear，Iwilllearnyouplainan’clear’Owtopayyourselfforfightin’overtime。

（Chorus）Withtheloot，……

Nowrememberwhenyou’re’ackingroundagildedBurmagodThat’iseyesisveryoftenpreciousstones；

An’ifyoutreataniggertoadoseo’cleanin’-rod’E’sliketoshowyoueverything’eowns。

When’ewon’tprodoocenomore，poursomewateronthefloorWhereyou’earitanswer’ollowtotheboot（Cornet：Toot！toot！）——

Whenthegroundbeginstosink，shoveyourbaynickdownthechink，An’you’resuretotouchthe——

（Chorus）Loo！loo！Lulu！Loot！loot！loot！

Owtheloot！……

Whenfrom’ouseto’ouseyou’re’unting，youmustalwaysworkinpairs——

It’alvesthegain，butsaferyouwillfind——

Forasinglemangetsbottledonthemtwisty-wistystairs，An’awomancomesandclobs’imfrombe’ind。

Whenyou’veturned’eminsideout，an’itseemsbeyondadoubtAsifthereweren’tenoughtodustaflute（Cornet：Toot！toot！）——

Beforeyouslingyour’ook，atthe’ousetopstakealook，Forit’sunderneaththetilesthey’idetheloot。

（Chorus）Owtheloot！……

YoucanmostlysquareaSergintan’aQuartermastertoo，Ifyouonlytaketheproperwaytogo；

Icouldneverkeepmypickin’s，butI’velearnedyouallIknew——

An’don’tyouneversayItoldyouso。

An’nowI’llbidgood-bye，forI’mgettin’ratherdry，An’Iseeanothertunin’uptotoot（Cornet：Toot！toot！）——

So’ere’sgood-lucktothosethatwearstheWidow’sclo’es，An’theDevilsend’emalltheywanto’loot！

（Chorus）Yes，theloot，Bloomin’loot！

Inthetunican’themess-tinan’theboot！

It’sthesamewithdogsan’men，Ifyou’dmake’emcomeagain（fff）Whoop’emforwardwithaLoo！loo！Lulu！Loot！loot！loot！

Heeya！Sick’im，puppy！Loo！loo！Lulu！Loot！loot！loot！

’Snarleyow’

This’appenedinabattletoabatt’ryofthecorpsWhichisfirstamongthewomenan’amazin’firstinwar；

An’whatthebloomin’battlewasIdon’tremembernow，ButTwo’soff-lead’eansweredtothenameo’Snarleyow。

DownintheInfantry，nobodycares；

DownintheCavalry，Colonel’eswears；

ButdownintheleadwiththewheelattheflogTurnstheboldBombardiertoalittlewhippeddog！

Theywasmovin’intoaction，theywasneededverysore，Tolearnalittleschoolin’toanativearmycorps，They’adnippedagainstanuphill，theywastuckin’downthebrow，Whenatricky，trundlin’roundshotgivetheknocktoSnarleyow。

Theycut’imloosean’left’im——’ewasalmosttoreintwo——

Buthetriedtofollowafterasawell-trained’orseshoulddo；

’Ewentan’fouledthelimber，an’theDriver’sBrothersqueals：

"Pullup，pullupforSnarleyow——’ishead’sbetween’is’eels！"

TheDriver’umped’isshoulder，forthewheelswasgoin’round，An’thereain’tno"Stop，conductor！"whenabatt’ry’schangin’ground；

Sez’e："Ibrokethebeggarin，an’verysadIfeels，ButIcouldn’tpullup，notforyou——your’eadbetweenyour’eels！"

’E’adn’t’ardlyspoketheword，beforeadroppin’shellAlittlerightthebatt’ryan’betweenthesectionsfell；

An’whenthesmoke’adclearedaway，beforethelimberwheels，TherelaytheDriver’sBrotherwith’is’eadbetween’is’eels。

ThenseztheDriver’sBrother，an’’iswordswasveryplain，"ForGawd’sownsakegetoverme，an’putmeouto’pain。"

Theysaw’iswoundswasmortial，an’theyjudgedthatitwasbest，Sotheytookan’drovethelimberstraightacross’isbackan’chest。

TheDriver’egivenothin’’ceptalittlecoughin’grunt，But’eswung’is’orses’andsomewhenitcameto"ActionFront！"

An’ifonewheelwasjuicy，youmaylayyourMondayhead’Twasjuicierfortheniggerswhenthecasebeguntospread。

Themorilofthisstory，itisplainlytobeseen：

You’avn’tgotnofamilieswhenservin’oftheQueen——

You’avn’tgotnobrothers，fathers，sisters，wives，orsons——

Ifyouwanttowinyourbattlestakean’workyourbloomin’guns！

DownintheInfantry，nobodycares；

DownintheCavalry，Colonel’eswears；

ButdownintheleadwiththewheelattheflogTurnstheboldBombardiertoalittlewhippeddog！

TheWidowatWindsor’Aveyou’eardo’theWidowatWindsorWithahairygoldcrownon’er’ead？

She’asshipsonthefoam——she’asmillionsat’ome，An’shepaysuspoorbeggarsinred。

（Ow，poorbeggarsinred！）

There’s’ernickonthecavalry’orses，There’s’ermarkonthemedicalstores——

An’’ertroopersyou’llfindwithafairwindbe’indThattakesustovariouswars。

（Poorbeggars！——barbariouswars！）

Then’ere’stotheWidowatWindsor，An’’ere’stothestoresan’theguns，Themenan’the’orseswhatmakesuptheforcesO’MissisVictorier’ssons。

（Poorbeggars！Victorier’ssons！）

Walkwideo’theWidowatWindsor，For’alfo’Creationsheowns：

We’avebought’erthesamewiththeswordan’theflame，An’we’vesalteditdownwithourbones。

（Poorbeggars！——it’sbluewithourbones！）

Handsoffo’thesonso’theWidow，Handsoffo’thegoodsin’ershop，FortheKingsmustcomedownan’theEmperorsfrownWhentheWidowatWindsorsays"Stop"！

（Poorbeggars！——we’resenttosay"Stop"！）

Then’ere’stotheLodgeo’theWidow，FromthePoletotheTropicsitruns——

TotheLodgethatwetilewiththerankan’thefile，An’openinformwiththeguns。

（Poorbeggars！——it’salwaystheyguns！）

We’ave’eardo’theWidowatWindsor，It’ssafesttolet’eralone：

For’ersentrieswestandbytheseaan’thelandWhereverthebuglesareblown。

（Poorbeggars！——an’don’twegetblown！）

Take’oldo’theWingso’theMornin’，An’floproundtheearthtillyou’redead；

Butyouwon’tgetawayfromthetunethattheyplayTothebloomin’oldragover’ead。

（Poorbeggars！——it’s’otover’ead！）

Then’ere’stothesonso’theWidow，Wherever，’owevertheyroam。

’Ere’salltheydesire，an’iftheyrequireAspeedyreturntotheir’ome。

（Poorbeggars！——they’llneversee’ome！）

BeltsTherewasarowinSilverStreetthat’sneartoDublinQuay，BetweenanIrishregimentan’Englishcavalree；

ItstartedatRevellyan’itlastedontilldark：

ThefirstmandroppedatHarrison’s，thelastforninstthePark。

Foritwas：——"Belts，belts，belts，an’that’soneforyou！"

An’itwas"Belts，belts，belts，an’that’sdoneforyou！"

Obucklean’tongueWasthesongthatwesungFromHarrison’sdowntothePark！

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——theregimentswasout，Theycalledus"DelhiRebels"，an’weanswered"Threesabout！"

Thatdrewthemlikeahornet’snest——wemetthemgoodan’large，TheEnglishatthedoublean’theIrishatthecharge。

Thenitwas：——"Belts……

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——an’Iwasinittoo；

Wepassedthetimeo’day，an’thenthebeltswentwhirraru！

Imisrememberwhatoccurred，butsubsequintthestormAFreeman’sJournalSupplemintwasallmyuniform。

Oitwas：——"Belts……

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——theysentthePolisthere，TheEnglishweretoodrunktoknow，theIrishdidn’tcare；

Butwhentheygrewimpertinintwesimultaneousrose，Tillhalfo’themwasLiffeymudan’halfwastattheredclo’es。

Foritwas：——"Belts……

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——itmightha’ragedtillnow，Butsomeonedrewhisside-armclear，an’nobodyknewhow；

’TwasHogantookthepointan’dropped；wesawtheredbloodrun：

An’soweallwasmurderersthatstartedoutinfun。

Whileitwas：——"Belts……

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——butthatputdowntheshine，Wideachmanwhisperin’tohisnext："’Twasneverworko’mine！"

Wewentawaylikebeatendogs，an’downthestreetweborehim，Thepoordumbcorpsethatcouldn’ttellthebhoysweresorryforhim。

Whenitwas：——"Belts……

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——itisn’toveryet，Forhalfofusareunderguardwidpunishmentstoget；

’TisallamerricletomeasintheClinkIlie：

TherewasarowinSilverStreet——begod，Iwonderwhy！

Butitwas：——"Belts，belts，belts，an’that’soneforyou！"

An’itwas"Belts，belts，belts，an’that’sdoneforyou！"

Obucklean’tongueWasthesongthatwesungFromHarrison’sdowntothePark！

TheYoungBritishSoldierWhenthe’arf-maderecruitygoesouttotheEast’Eactslikeababean’’edrinkslikeabeast，An’’ewondersbecause’eisfrequentdeceasedEre’e’sfitfortoserveasasoldier。

Serve，serve，serveasasoldier，Serve，serve，serveasasoldier，Serve，serve，serveasasoldier，So-oldieroftheQueen！

Nowallyourecruitieswhat’sdraftedto-day，Youshutupyourrag-boxan’’arktomylay，An’I’llsingyouasoldierasfarasImay：

Asoldierwhat’sfitforasoldier。

Fit，fit，fitforasoldier……

Firstmindyousteerclearo’thegrog-sellers’huts，FortheysellyouFixedBay’netsthatrotsoutyourguts——

Ay，drinkthat’udeatthelivesteelfromyourbutts——

An’it’sbadfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

Bad，bad，badforthesoldier……

Whenthecholeracomes——asitwillpastadoubt——

Keepoutofthewetanddon’tgoontheshout，Forthesicknessgetsinastheliquordiesout，An’itcrumplestheyoungBritishsoldier。

Crum-，crum-，crumplesthesoldier……

Buttheworsto’yourfoesisthesunover’ead：

Youmustwearyour’elmetforallthatissaid：

If’efindsyouuncovered’e’llknockyoudowndead，An’you’lldielikeafoolofasoldier。

Fool，fool，foolofasoldier……

Ifyou’recastforfatiguebyasergeantunkind，Don’tgrouselikeawomannorcrackonnorblind；

Behandyandcivil，andthenyouwillfindThatit’sbeerfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

Beer，beer，beerforthesoldier……

Now，ifyoumustmarry，takecaresheisold——

Atroop-sergeant’swidow’sthenicestI’mtold，Forbeautywon’thelpifyourrationsiscold，Norloveain’tenoughforasoldier。

’Nough，’nough，’noughforasoldier……

Ifthewifeshouldgowrongwithacomrade，beloathToshootwhenyoucatch’em——you’llswing，onmyoath！——

Make’imtake’erandkeep’er：that’sHellforthemboth，An’you’reshuto’thecurseofasoldier。

Curse，curse，curseofasoldier……

Whenfirstunderfirean’you’rewishfultoduck，Don’tlooknortake’eedatthemanthatisstruck，Bethankfulyou’relivin’，andtrusttoyourluckAndmarchtoyourfrontlikeasoldier。

Front，front，frontlikeasoldier……

When’arfofyourbulletsflywideintheditch，Don’tcallyourMartiniacross-eyedoldbitch；

She’shumanasyouare——youtreatherassich，An’she’llfightfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

Fight，fight，fightforthesoldier……

Whenshakin’theirbustleslikeladiessofine，Thegunso’theenemywheelintoline，Shootlowatthelimbersan’don’tmindtheshine，Fornoiseneverstartlesthesoldier。

Start-，start-，startlesthesoldier……

Ifyourofficer’sdeadandthesergeantslookwhite，Rememberit’sruintorunfromafight：

Sotakeopenorder，liedown，andsittight，Andwaitforsupportslikeasoldier。

Wait，wait，waitlikeasoldier……

Whenyou’rewoundedandleftonAfghanistan’splains，Andthewomencomeouttocutupwhatremains，JestrolltoyourrifleandblowoutyourbrainsAn’gotoyourGawdlikeasoldier。

Go，go，golikeasoldier，Go，go，golikeasoldier，Go，go，golikeasoldier，So-oldieroftheQueen！

MandalayBytheoldMoulmeinPagoda，lookin’eastwardtothesea，There’saBurmagirla-settin’，andIknowshethinkso’me；

Forthewindisinthepalm-trees，andthetemple-bellstheysay：

"Comeyouback，youBritishsoldier；comeyoubacktoMandalay！"

ComeyoubacktoMandalay，WheretheoldFlotillalay：

Can’tyou’eartheirpaddleschunkin’fromRangoontoMandalay？

OntheroadtoMandalay，Wheretheflyin’-fishesplay，An’thedawncomesuplikethunderouterChina’crosttheBay！

’Erpetticoatwasyalleran’’erlittlecapwasgreen，An’’ernamewasSupi-yaw-lat——jes’thesameasTheebaw’sQueen，An’Iseedherfirsta-smokin’ofawhackin’whitecheroot，An’a-wastin’Christiankissesonan’eathenidol’sfoot：

Bloomin’idolmadeo’mud——

WottheycalledtheGreatGawdBudd——

PluckylotshecaredforidolswhenIkissed’erwhereshestud！

OntheroadtoMandalay……

Whenthemistwasontherice-fieldsan’thesunwasdroppin’slow，She’dgit’erlittlebanjoan’she’dsing"Kulla-lo-lo！"

With’erarmuponmyshoulderan’’ercheekagin’mycheekWeuseterwatchthesteamersan’thehathispilin’teak。

Elephintsa-pilin’teakInthesludgy，squdgycreek，Wherethesilence’ungthat’eavyyouwas’arfafraidtospeak！

OntheroadtoMandalay……

Butthat’sallshovebe’indme——longagoan’furaway，An’thereain’tno’bussesrunnin’fromtheBanktoMandalay；

An’I’mlearnin’’ereinLondonwhattheten-yearsoldiertells：

"Ifyou’ve’eardtheEasta-callin’，youwon’tnever’eednaughtelse。"

No！youwon’t’eednothin’elseButthemspicygarlicsmells，An’thesunshinean’thepalm-treesan’thetinklytemple-bells；

OntheroadtoMandalay……

Iamsicko’wastin’leatheronthesegrittypavin’-stones，An’theblastedHenglishdrizzlewakesthefeverinmybones；

Tho’Iwalkswithfifty’ousemaidsouterChelseatotheStrand，An’theytalksaloto’lovin’，butwotdotheyunderstand？

Beefyfacean’grubby’and——

Law！wotdotheyunderstand？

I’veaneater，sweetermaideninacleaner，greenerland！

OntheroadtoMandalay……

ShipmesomewhereseastofSuez，wherethebestisliketheworst，Wheretherearen’tnoTenCommandmentsan’amancanraiseathirst；

Forthetemple-bellsarecallin’，an’it’stherethatIwouldbe——

BytheoldMoulmeinPagoda，lookinglazyatthesea；

OntheroadtoMandalay，WheretheoldFlotillalay，WithoursickbeneaththeawningswhenwewenttoMandalay！

OntheroadtoMandalay，Wheretheflyin’-fishesplay，An’thedawncomesuplikethunderouterChina’crosttheBay！

Troopin’

（OurArmyintheEast）

Troopin’，troopin’，troopin’tothesea：

’Ere’sSeptembercomeagain——thesix-yearmenarefree。

Oleavethedeadbe’indus，fortheycannotcomeawayTowheretheship’sa-coalin’upthattakesus’ometo-day。

We’regoin’’ome，we’regoin’’ome，Ourshipisattheshore，An’youmustpackyour’aversack，Forwewon’tcomebacknomore。

Ho，don’tyougrieveforme，MylovelyMary-Ann，ForI’llmarryyouyitonafourp’nybitAsatime-expiredman。

TheMalabar’sin’arbourwiththeJumnerat’ertail，An’thetime-expired’swaitin’of’isordersfortosail。

Ho！thewearywaitin’whenonKhyber’illswelay，Butthetime-expired’swaitin’of’isorders’ometo-day。

They’llturnusoutatPortsmouthwharfincoldan’wetan’rain，Allwearin’Injiancottonkit，butwewillnotcomplain；

They’llkillusofpneumonia——forthat’stheirlittleway——

Butdamnthechillsandfever，men，we’regoin’’ometo-day！

Troopin’，troopin’，winter’sroundagain！

Seethenewdraf’spourin’infortheoldcampaign；

Ho，youpoorrecruities，butyou’vegottoearnyourpay——

What’sthelastfromLunnon，lads？We’regoin’thereto-day。

Troopin’，troopin’，giveanothercheer——

’Ere’stoEnglishwomenan’aquartofEnglishbeer。

TheColonelan’theregimentan’allwho’vegottostay，Gawd’smercystrike’emgentle——Whoop！we’regoin’’ometo-day。

We’regoin’’ome，we’regoin’’ome，Ourshipisattheshore，An’youmustpackyour’aversack，Forwewon’tcomebacknomore。

Ho，don’tyougrieveforme，MylovelyMary-Ann，ForI’llmarryyouyitonafourp’nybitAsatime-expiredman。

TheWidow’sParty"Wherehaveyoubeenthiswhileaway，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

’Longwiththerestonapicniclay，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

Theycalledusoutofthebarrack-yardToGawdknowswherefromGosportHard，Andyoucan’trefusewhenyougetthecard，AndtheWidowgivestheparty。

（Bugle：Ta——rara——ra-ra-rara！）

"Whatdidyougettoeatanddrink，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

Standingwaterasthickasink，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

Abito’beefthatwerethreeyearstored，Abito’muttonastoughasaboard，Andafowlwekilledwithasergeant’ssword，WhentheWidowgivetheparty。

"Whatdidyoudoforknivesandforks，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

Wecarries’emwithuswhereverwewalks，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

Andsomewasslicedandsomewashalved，Andsomewascrimpedandsomewascarved，Andsomewasguttedandsomewasstarved，WhentheWidowgivetheparty。

"Whatha’youdonewithhalfyourmess，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

Theycouldn’tdomoreandtheywouldn’tdoless，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

Theyatetheirwhackandtheydranktheirfill，AndIthinktherationshasmadethemill，Forhalfmycomp’ny’slyingstillWheretheWidowgivetheparty。

"Howdidyougetaway——away，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

Onthebroado’mybackattheendo’theday，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

Icomedawaylikeableedin’toff，ForIgotfourniggerstocarrymeoff，AsIlayinthebightofacanvastrough，WhentheWidowgivetheparty。

"Whatwastheendofalltheshow，Johnnie，Johnnie？"

AskmyColonel，forIdon’tknow，Johnnie，myJohnnie，aha！

WebrokeaKingandwebuiltaroad——

Acourt-housestandswherethereg’mentgoed。

Andtheriver’scleanwheretherawbloodflowedWhentheWidowgivetheparty。

（Bugle：Ta——rara——ra-ra-rara！）

Fordo’KabulRiverKabultown’sbyKabulriver——

Blowthebugle，drawthesword——

ThereIlef’mymateforever，Wetan’drippin’bytheford。