JULY8。

Whatachildismanthatheshouldbesosolicitousaboutalook！

Whatachildisman！WehadbeentoWalheim：theladieswentinacarriage;butduringourwalkIthoughtIsawinCharlotte’sdarkeyes——Iamafool——butforgiveme！youshouldseethem，——thoseeyes。——However，tobebrief（formyowneyesareweigheddownwithsleep），youmustknow，whentheladiessteppedintotheircarriageagain，youngW。Seldstadt，Andran，andIwerestandingaboutthedoor。Theyareamerrysetoffellows，andtheywerealllaughingandjokingtogether。IwatchedCharlotte’seyes。

Theywanderedfromonetotheother;buttheydidnotlightonme，onme，whostoodtheremotionless，andwhosawnothingbuther！

Myheartbadeherathousandtimesadieu，butshenoticedmenot。

Thecarriagedroveoff;andmyeyesfilledwithtears。Ilookedafterher：suddenlyIsawCharlotte’sbonnetleaningoutofthewindow，andsheturnedtolookback，wasitatme？Mydearfriend，Iknownot;andinthisuncertaintyIfindconsolation。Perhapssheturnedtolookatme。Perhaps！Good-night——whatachildIam！

JULYlO。

YoushouldseehowfoolishIlookincompanywhenhernameismentioned，particularlywhenIamaskedplainlyhowIlikeher。

HowIlikeher！Idetestthephrase。WhatsortofcreaturemusthebewhomerelylikedCharlotte，whosewholeheartandsenseswerenotentirelyabsorbedbyher。Likeher！SomeoneaskedmelatelyhowIlikedOssian。

JULY11。

MadameM——isveryill。Iprayforherrecovery，becauseCharlottesharesmysufferings。Iseeheroccasionallyatmyfriend’shouse，andto-dayshehastoldmethestrangestcircumstance。OldM——

isacovetous，miserlyfellow，whohaslongworriedandannoyedthepoorladysadly;butshehasborneherafflictionspatiently。

Afewdaysago，whenthephysicianinformedusthatherrecoverywashopeless，shesentforherhusband（Charlottewaspresent），andaddressedhimthus："Ihavesomethingtoconfess，which，aftermydecease，mayoccasiontroubleandconfusion。Ihavehithertoconductedyourhouseholdasfrugallyandeconomicallyaspossible，butyoumustpardonmeforhavingdefraudedyouforthirtyyears。

Atthecommencementofourmarriedlife，youallowedasmallsumforthewantsofthekitchen，andtheotherhouseholdexpenses。

Whenourestablishmentincreasedandourpropertygrewlarger，I

couldnotpersuadeyoutoincreasetheweeklyallowanceinproportion：

inshort，youknow，that，whenourwantsweregreatest，yourequiredmetosupplyeverythingwithsevenflorinsaweek。Itookthemoneyfromyouwithoutanobservation，butmadeuptheweeklydeficiencyfromthemoney-chest;asnobodywouldsuspectyourwifeofrobbingthehouseholdbank。ButIhavewastednothing，andshouldhavebeencontenttomeetmyeternalJudgewithoutthisconfession，ifshe，uponwhomthemanagementofyourestablishmentwilldevolveaftermydecease，wouldbefreefromembarrassmentuponyourinsistingthattheallowancemadetome，yourformerwife，wassufficient。"

ItalkedwithCharlotteoftheinconceivablemannerinwhichmenallowthemselvestobeblinded;howanyonecouldavoidsuspectingsomedeception，whensevenflorinsonlywereallowedtodefrayexpensestwiceasgreat。ButIhavemyselfknownpeoplewhobelieved，withoutanyvisibleastonishment，thattheirhousepossessedtheprophet’snever-failingcruseofoil。

JULY13。

No，Iamnotdeceived。InherdarkeyesIreadagenuineinterestinmeandinmyfortunes。Yes，Ifeelit;andImaybelievemyownheartwhichtellsme——dareIsayit？——dareIpronouncethedivinewords？——thatshelovesme！

Thatshelovesme！Howtheideaexaltsmeinmyowneyes！And，asyoucanunderstandmyfeelings，Imaysaytoyou，howIhonourmyselfsinceshelovesme！

Isthispresumption，orisitaconsciousnessofthetruth？IdonotknowamanabletosupplantmeintheheartofCharlotte;andyetwhenshespeaksofherbetrothedwithsomuchwarmthandaffection，Ifeellikethesoldierwhohasbeenstrippedofhishonoursandtitles，anddeprivedofhissword。

JULY16。

HowmyheartbeatswhenbyaccidentItouchherfinger，ormyfeetmeethersunderthetable！Idrawbackasiffromafurnace;butasecretforceimpelsmeforwardagain，andmysensesbecomedisordered。Herinnocent，unconsciousheartneverknowswhatagonytheselittlefamiliaritiesinflictuponme。SometimeswhenwearetalkingsheIaysherhanduponmine，andintheeagernessofconversationcomesclosertome，andherbalmybreathreachesmylips，——whenIfeelasiflightninghadstruckme，andthatI

couldsinkintotheearth。Andyet，Wilhelm，withallthisheavenlyconfidence，——ifIknowmyself，andshouldeverdare——youunderstandme。No，no！myheartisnotsocorrupt，itisweak，weakenoughbutisnotthatadegreeofcorruption？

Sheistomeasacredbeing。Allpassionisstillinherpresence：

IcannotexpressmysensationswhenIamnearher。Ifeelasifmysoulbeatineverynerveofmybody。Thereisamelodywhichsheplaysonthepianowithangelicskill，——sosimpleisit，andyetsospiritual！Itisherfavouriteair;and，whensheplaysthefirstnote，allpain，care，andsorrowdisappearfrommeinamoment。

Ibelieveeverywordthatissaidofthemagicofancientmusic。

Howhersimplesongenchantsme！Sometimes，whenIamreadytocommitsuicide，shesingsthatair;andinstantlythegloomandmadnesswhichhungovermearedispersed，andIbreathefreelyagain。

JULY18。

Wilhelm，whatistheworldtoourheartswithoutlove？Whatisamagic-lanternwithoutlight？Youhavebuttokindletheflamewithin，andthebrightestfiguresshineonthewhitewall;and，ifloveonlyshowusfleetingshadows，weareyethappy，when，likemerechildren，webeholdthem，andaretransportedwiththesplendidphantoms。IhavenotbeenabletoseeCharlotteto-day。

IwaspreventedbycompanyfromwhichIcouldnotdisengagemyself。

Whatwastobedone？Isentmyservanttoherhouse，thatImightatleastseesomebodyto-daywhohadbeennearher。Oh，theimpatiencewithwhichIwaitedforhisreturn！thejoywithwhichIwelcomedhim！Ishouldcertainlyhavecaughthiminmyarms，andkissedhim，ifIhadnotbeenashamed。

ItissaidthattheBononastone，whenplacedinthesun，attractstherays，andforatimeappearsluminousinthedark。Sowasitwithmeandthisservant。TheideathatCharlotte’seyeshaddweltonhiscountenance，hischeek，hisveryapparel，endearedthemallinestimablytome，sothatatthemomentIwouldnothavepartedfromhimforathousandcrowns。Hispresencemademesohappy！

Bewareoflaughingatme，Wilhelm。Canthatbeadelusionwhichmakesushappy？

JULY19。

"Ishallseehertoday！"Iexclaimwithdelight，whenIriseinthemorning，andlookoutwithgladnessofheartatthebright，beautifulsun。"Ishallseehertoday！"AndthenIhavenofurtherwishtoform：all，allisincludedinthatonethought。

JULY2O。

IcannotassenttoyourproposalthatIshouldaccompanytheambassadorto_______。Idonotlovesubordination;andweallknowthatheisarough，disagreeablepersontobeconnectedwith。

Yousaymymotherwishesmetobeemployed。Icouldnothelplaughingatthat。AmInotsufficientlyemployed？Andisitnotinrealitythesame，whetherIshellpeasorcountlentils？Theworldrunsonfromonefollytoanother;andthemanwho，solelyfromregardtotheopinionofothers，andwithoutanywishornecessityofhisown，toilsaftergold，honour，oranyotherphantom，isnobetterthanafool。

JULY24。

Youinsistsomuchonmynotneglectingmydrawing，thatitwouldbeaswellformetosaynothingastoconfesshowlittleIhavelatelydone。

Ineverfelthappier，Ineverunderstoodnaturebetter，evendowntotheverieststemorsmallestbladeofgrass;andyetIamunabletoexpressmyself：mypowersofexecutionaresoweak，everythingseemstoswimandfloatbeforeme，sothatIcannotmakeaclear，boldoutline。ButIfancyIshouldsucceedbetterifIhadsomeclayorwaxtomodel。Ishalltry，ifthisstateofmindcontinuesmuchlonger，andwilltaketomodelling，ifI

onlykneaddough。

IhavecommencedCharlotte’sportraitthreetimes，andhaveasoftendisgracedmyself。Thisisthemoreannoying，asIwasformerlyveryhappyintakinglikenesses。Ihavesincesketchedherprofile，andmustcontentmyselfwiththat。

JULY25。

Yes，dearCharlotte！Iwillorderandarrangeeverything。Onlygivememorecommissions，themorethebetter。Onething，however，Imustrequest：usenomorewriting-sandwiththedearnotesyousendme。TodayIraisedyourletterhastilytomylips，anditsetmyteethonedge。

JULY26。

Ihaveoftendeterminednottoseehersofrequently。Butwhocouldkeepsucharesolution？EverydayIamexposedtothetemptation，andpromisefaithfullythatto-morrowIwillreallystayaway：but，whentomorrowcomes，Ifindsomeirresistiblereasonforseeingher;and，beforeIcanaccountforit，Iamwithheragain。Eithershehassaidonthepreviousevening"Youwillbesuretocallto-morrow，"——andwhocouldstayawaythen？——orshegivesmesomecommission，andIfinditessentialtotakehertheanswerinperson;orthedayisfine，andIwalktoWalheim;

and，whenIamthere，itisonlyhalfaleaguefarthertoher。I

amwithinthecharmedatmosphere，andsoonfindmyselfatherside。

Mygrandmotherusedtotellusastoryofamountainofloadstone。

Whenanyvesselscamenearit，theywereinstantlydeprivedoftheirironwork：thenailsflewtothemountain，andtheunhappycrewperishedamidstthedisjointedplanks。

JULY30。

Albertisarrived，andImusttakemydeparture。Werehethebestandnoblestofmen，andIineveryrespecthisinferior，Icouldnotenduretoseehiminpossessionofsuchaperfectbeing。

Possession！——enough，Wilhelm：herbetrothedishere，——afine，worthyfellow，whomonecannothelpliking。FortunatelyIwasnotpresentattheirmeeting。Itwouldhavebrokenmyheart！Andheissoconsiderate：hehasnotgivenCharlotteonekissinmypresence。Heavenrewardhimforit！Imustlovehimfortherespectwithwhichhetreatsher。Heshowsaregardforme，butforthisIsuspectIammoreindebtedtoCharlottethantohisownfancyforme。Womenhaveadelicatetactinsuchmatters，anditshouldbeso。Theycannotalwayssucceedinkeepingtworivalsontermswitheachother;but，whentheydo，theyaretheonlygainers。

IcannothelpesteemingAlbert。Thecoolnessofhistempercontrastsstronglywiththeimpetuosityofmine，whichIcannotconceal。

Hehasagreatdealoffeeling，andisfullysensibleofthetreasurehepossessesinCharlotte。Heisfreefromill-humour，whichyouknowisthefaultIdetestmost。

Heregardsmeasamanofsense;andmyattachmenttoCharlotte，andtheinterestItakeinallthatconcernsher，augmenthistriumphandhislove。Ishallnotinquirewhetherhemaynotattimesteaseherwithsomelittlejealousies;asIknow，that，wereIinhisplace，Ishouldnotbeentirelyfreefromsuchsensations。

But，bethatasitmay，mypleasurewithCharlotteisover。Callitfollyorinfatuation，whatsignifiesaname？Thethingspeaksforitself。BeforeAlbertcame，IknewallthatIknownow。I

knewIcouldmakenopretensionstoher，nordidIofferany，thatis，asfarasitwaspossible，inthepresenceofsomuchloveliness，nottopantforitsenjoyment。Andnow，beholdmelikeasillyfellow，staringwithastonishmentwhenanothercomesin，anddeprivesmeofmylove。

Ibitemylips，andfeelinfinitescornforthosewhotellmetoberesigned，becausethereisnohelpforit。Letmeescapefromtheyokeofsuchsillysubterfuges！Iramblethroughthewoods;

andwhenIreturntoCharlotte，andfindAlbertsittingbyhersideinthesummer-houseinthegarden，Iamunabletobearit，behavelikeafool，andcommitathousandextravagances。"ForHeaven’ssake，"saidCharlottetoday，"letushavenomoresceneslikethoseoflastnight！Youterrifymewhenyouaresoviolent。"

Betweenourselves，Iamalwaysawaynowwhenhevisitsher：andI

feeldelightedwhenIfindheralone。

AUGUST8。

Believeme，dearWilhelm，IdidnotalludetoyouwhenIspokesoseverelyofthosewhoadviseresignationtoinevitablefate。I

didnotthinkitpossibleforyoutoindulgesuchasentiment。

Butinfactyouareright。Ionlysuggestoneobjection。Inthisworldoneisseldomreducedtomakeaselectionbetweentwoalternatives。Thereareasmanyvarietiesofconductandopinionasthereareturnsoffeaturebetweenanaquilinenoseandaflatone。

Youwill，therefore，permitmetoconcedeyourentireargument，andyetcontrivemeanstoescapeyourdilemma。

Yourpositionisthis，Ihearyousay："EitheryouhavehopesofobtainingCharlotte，oryouhavenone。Well，inthefirstcase，pursueyourcourse，andpressontothefulfilmentofyourwishes。

Inthesecond，beaman，andshakeoffamiserablepassion，whichwillenervateanddestroyyou。"Mydearfriend，thisiswellandeasilysaid。

Butwouldyourequireawretchedbeing，whoselifeisslowlywastingunderalingeringdisease，todespatchhimselfatoncebythestrokeofadagger？Doesnottheverydisorderwhichconsumeshisstrengthdeprivehimofthecouragetoeffecthisdeliverance？

Youmayanswerme，ifyouplease，withasimilaranalogy，"Whowouldnotprefertheamputationofanarmtotheperilingoflifebydoubtandprocrastination！"ButIknownotifIamright，andletusleavethesecomparisons。

Enough！Therearemoments，Wilhelm，whenIcouldriseupandshakeitalloff，andwhen，ifIonlyknewwheretogo，Icouldflyfromthisplace。

THESAMEEVENING。

Mydiary，whichIhaveforsometimeneglected，camebeforemetoday;andIamamazedtoseehowdeliberatelyIhaveentangledmyselfstepbystep。Tohaveseenmypositionsoclearly，andyettohaveactedsolikeachild！EvenstillIbeholdtheresultplainly，andyethavenothoughtofactingwithgreaterprudence。

AUGUSTlO。

IfIwerenotafool，Icouldspendthehappiestandmostdelightfullifehere。Somanyagreeablecircumstances，andofakindtoensureaworthyman’shappiness，areseldomunited。Alas！Ifeelittoosensibly，——theheartalonemakesourhappiness！Tobeadmittedintothismostcharmingfamily，tobelovedbythefatherasason，bythechildrenasafather，andbyCharlotte！thenthenobleAlbert，whoneverdisturbsmyhappinessbyanyappearanceofill-humour，receivingmewiththeheartiestaffection，andlovingme，nexttoCharlotte，betterthanalltheworld！Wilhelm，youwouldbedelightedtohearusinourrambles，andconversationsaboutCharlotte。Nothingintheworldcanbemoreabsurdthanourconnection，andyetthethoughtofitoftenmovesmetotears。

Hetellsmesometimesofherexcellentmother;how，uponherdeath-bed，shehadcommittedherhouseandchildrentoCharlotte，andhadgivenCharlotteherselfinchargetohim;how，sincethattime，anewspirithadtakenpossessionofher;how，incareandanxietyfortheirwelfare，shebecamearealmothertothem;howeverymomentofhertimewasdevotedtosomelabourofloveintheirbehalf，——andyethermirthandcheerfulnesshadneverforsakenher。Iwalkbyhisside，pluckflowersbytheway，arrangethemcarefullyintoanosegay，thenflingthemintothefirststreamIpass，andwatchthemastheyfloatgentlyaway。IforgetwhetherItoldyouthatAlbertistoremainhere。Hehasreceivedagovernmentappointment，withaverygoodsalary;andIunderstandheisinhighfavouratcourt。Ihavemetfewpersonssopunctualandmethodicalinbusiness。

AUGUST12。

CertainlyAlbertisthebestfellowintheworld。Ihadastrangescenewithhimyesterday。Iwenttotakeleaveofhim;forItookitintomyheadtospendafewdaysinthesemountains，fromwhereInowwritetoyou。AsIwaswalkingupanddownhisroom，myeyefelluponhispistols。"Lendmethosepistols，"saidI，"formyjourney。""Byallmeans，"hereplied，"ifyouwilltakethetroubletoloadthem;fortheyonlyhangthereforform。"I

tookdownoneofthem;andhecontinued，"EversinceIwasnearsufferingformyextremecaution，Iwillhavenothingtodowithsuchthings。"Iwascurioustohearthestory。"Iwasstaying，"

saidhe，"somethreemonthsago，atafriend’shouseinthecountry。

Ihadabraceofpistolswithme，unloaded;andIsleptwithoutanyanxiety。OnerainyafternoonIwassittingbymyself，doingnothing，whenitoccurredtomeIdonotknowhowthatthehousemightbeattacked，thatwemightrequirethepistols，thatwemightinshort，youknowhowwegoonfancying，whenwehavenothingbettertodo。Igavethepistolstotheservant，tocleanandload。Hewasplayingwiththemaid，andtryingtofrightenher，whenthepistolwentoff——Godknowshow！——theramrodwasinthebarrel;anditwentstraightthroughherrighthand，andshatteredthethumb。Ihadtoendureallthelamentation，andtopaythesurgeon’sbill;so，sincethattime，Ihavekeptallmyweaponsunloaded。But，mydearfriend，whatistheuseofprudence？

Wecanneverbeonourguardagainstallpossibledangers。However，"

——now，youmustknowIcantolerateallmentilltheycometo"however;"——foritisself-evidentthateveryuniversalrulemusthaveitsexceptions。Butheissoexceedinglyaccurate，that，ifheonlyfancieshehassaidawordtooprecipitate，ortoogeneral，oronlyhalftrue，heneverceasestoqualify，tomodify，andextenuate，tillatlastheappearstohavesaidnothingatall。Uponthisoccasion，Albertwasdeeplyimmersedinhissubject：Iceasedtolistentohim，andbecamelostinreverie。

Withasuddenmotion，Ipointedthemouthofthepistoltomyforehead，overtherighteye。"Whatdovoumean？"criedAlbert，turningbackthepistol。"Itisnotloaded，"saidI。"Andevenifnot，"heansweredwithimpatience，"whatcanyoumean？I

cannotcornprehendhowamancanbesomadastoshoothimself，andthebareideaofitshocksme。"

"Butwhyshouldanyone，"saidI，"inspeakingofanaction，venturetopronounceitmadorwise，orgoodorbad？Whatisthemeaningofallthis？Haveyoucarefullystudiedthesecretmotivesofouractions？Doyouunderstand——canyouexplainthecauseswhichoccasionthem，andmaketheminevitable？Ifyoucan，youwillbelesshastywithyourdecision。"

"Butyouwillallow，"saidAlbert;"thatsomeactionsarecriminal，letthemspringfromwhatevermotivestheymay。"Igrantedit，andshruggedmyshoulders。

"Butstill，mygoodfriend，"Icontinued，"therearesomeexceptionsheretoo。Theftisacrime;butthemanwhocommitsitfromextremepoverty，withnodesignbuttosavehisfamilyfromperishing，isheanobjectofpity，orofpunishment？Whoshallthrowthefirststoneatahusband，who，intheheatofjustresentment，sacrificeshisfaithlesswifeandherperfidiousseducer？orattheyoungmaiden，who，inherweakhourofrapture，forgetsherselfintheimpetuousjoysoflove？Evenourlaws，coldandcruelastheyare，relentinsuchcases，andwithholdtheirpunishment。"

"Thatisquiteanotherthing，"saidAlbert;"becauseamanundertheinfluenceofviolentpassionlosesalIpowerofreflection，andisregardedasintoxicatedorinsane。"

"Oh！youpeopleofsoundunderstandings，"Ireplied，smiling，"areeverreadytoexclaim’Extravagance，andmadness，andintoxication！’

Youmoralmenaresocalmandsosubdued！Youabhorthedrunkenman，anddetesttheextravagant;youpassby，liketheLevite，andthankGod，likethePharisee，thatyouarenotlikeoneofthem。Ihavebeenmorethanonceintoxicated，mypassionshavealwaysborderedonextravagance：Iamnotashamedtoconfessit;

forIhavelearned，bymyownexperience，thatallextraordinarymen，whohaveaccomplishedgreatandastonishingactions，haveeverbeendecriedbytheworldasdrunkenorinsane。Andinprivatelife，too，isitnotintolerablethatnoonecanundertaketheexecutionofanobleorgenerousdeed，withoutgivingrisetotheexclamationthatthedoerisintoxicatedormad？Shameuponyou，yesages！"

"Thisisanotherofyourextravaganthumours，"saidAlbert："youalwaysexaggerateacase，andinthismatteryouareundoubtedlywrong;forwewerespeakingofsuicide，whichyoucomparewithgreatactions，whenitisimpossibletoregarditasanythingbutaweakness。Itismucheasiertodiethantobearalifeofmiserywithfortitude。"

Iwasonthepointofbreakingofftheconversation，fornothingputsmesocompletelyoutofpatienceastheutteranceofawretchedcommonplacewhenIamtalkingfrommyinmostheart。However，I

composedmyself，forIhadoftenheardthesameobservationwithsufficientvexation;andIansweredhim，therefore，withalittlewarmth，"Youcallthisaweakness——bewareofbeingledastraybyappearances。Whenanation，whichhaslonggroanedundertheintolerableyokeofatyrant，risesatlastandthrowsoffitschains，doyoucallthatweakness？Themanwho，torescuehishousefromtheflames，findshisphysicalstrengthredoubled，sothatheliftsburdenswithease，which，intheabsenceofexcitement，hecouldscarcelymove;hewho，undertherageofaninsult，attacksandputstoflighthalfascoreofhisenemies，aresuchpersonstobecalledweak？Mygoodfriend，ifresistancebestrength，howcanthehighestdegreeofresistancebeaweakness？"

Albertlookedsteadfastlyatme，andsaid，"Prayforgiveme，butIdonotseethattheexamplesyouhaveadducedbearanyrelationtothequestion。""Verylikely，"Ianswered;"forIhaveoftenbeentoldthatmystyleofillustrationbordersalittleontheabsurd。Butletusseeifwecannotplacethematterinanotherpointofview，byinquiringwhatcanbeaman’sstateofmindwhoresolvestofreehimselffromtheburdenoflife，——aburdenoftensopleasanttobear，——forwecannototherwisereasonfairlyuponthesubject。

"Humannature，"Icontinued，"hasitslimits。Itisabletoendureacertaindegreeofjoy，sorrow，andpain，butbecomesannihilatedassoonasthismeasureisexceeded。Thequestion，therefore，is，notwhetheramanisstrongorweak，butwhetherheisabletoendurethemeasureofhissufferings。Thesufferingmaybemoralorphysical;andinmyopinionitisjustasabsurdtocallamanacowardwhodestroyshimself，astocallamanacowardwhodiesofamalignantfever。"

"Paradox，allparadox！"exclaimedAlbert。"Notsoparadoxicalasyouimagine，"Ireplied。"Youallowthatwedesignateadiseaseasmortalwhennatureissoseverelyattacked，andherstrengthsofarexhausted，thatshecannotpossiblyrecoverherformerconditionunderanychangethatmaytakeplace。

"Now，mygoodfriend，applythistothemind;observeamaninhisnatural，isolatedcondition;considerhowideaswork，andhowimpressionsfastenonhim，tillatlengthaviolentpassionseizeshim，destroyingallhispowersofcalmreflection，andutterlyruininghim。

"Itisinvainthatamanofsoundmindandcooltemperunderstandstheconditionofsuchawretchedbeing，invainhecounselshim。

Hecannomorecommunicatehisownwisdomtohimthanahealthymancaninstilhisstrengthintotheinvalid，bywhosebedsideheisseated。"

Albertthoughtthistoogeneral。Iremindedhimofagirlwhohaddrownedherselfashorttimepreviously，andIrelatedherhistory。

Shewasagoodcreature，whohadgrownupinthenarrowsphereofhouseholdindustryandweeklyappointedlabour;onewhoknewnopleasurebeyondindulginginawalkonSundays，arrayedinherbestattire，accompaniedbyherfriends，orperhapsjoininginthedancenowandthenatsomefestival，andchattingawayhersparehourswithaneighbour，discussingthescandalorthequarrelsofthevillage，triflessufficienttooccupyherheart。Atlengththewarmthofhernatureisinfluencedbycertainnewandunknownwishes。Inflamedbytheflatteriesofmen，herformerpleasuresbecomebydegreesinsipid，tillatlengthshemeetswithayouthtowhomsheisattractedbyanindescribablefeeling;uponhimshenowrestsallherhopes;sheforgetstheworldaroundher;shesees，hears，desiresnothingbuthim，andhimonly。Healoneoccupiesallherthoughts。Uncorruptedbytheidleindulgenceofanenervatingvanity，heraffectionmovingsteadilytowarditsobject，shehopestobecomehis，andtorealise，inaneverlastingunionwithhim，allthathappinesswhichshesought，allthatblissforwhichshelonged。Hisrepeatedpromisesconfirmherhopes：

embracesandendearments，whichincreasetheardourofherdesires，overmasterhersoul。Shefloatsinadim，delusiveanticipationofherhappiness;andherfeelingsbecomeexcitedtotheirutmosttension。Shestretchesoutherarmsfinallytoembracetheobjectofallherwishesandherloverforsakesher。Stunnedandbewildered，shestandsuponaprecipice。Allisdarknessaroundher。Noprospect，nohope，noconsolation——forsakenbyhiminwhomherexistencewascentred！Sheseesnothingofthewideworldbeforeher，thinksnothingofthemanyindividualswhomightsupplythevoidinherheart;shefeelsherselfdeserted，forsakenbytheworld;and，blindedandimpelledbytheagonywhichwringshersoul，sheplungesintothedeep，toendhersufferingsinthebroadembraceofdeath。Seehere，Albert，thehistoryofthousands;andtellme，isnotthisacaseofphysicalinfirmity？Naturehasnowaytoescapefromthelabyrinth：herpowersareexhausted：shecancontendnolonger，andthepoorsoulmustdie。

"Shameuponhimwhocanlookoncalmly，andexclaim，’Thefoolishgirl！sheshouldhavewaited;sheshouldhaveallowedtimetowearofftheimpression;herdespairwouldhavebeensoftened，andshewouldhavefoundanotherlovertocomforther。’Onemightaswellsay，’Thefool，todieofafever！whydidhenotwaittillhisstrengthwasrestored，tillhisbloodbecamecalm？allwouldthenhavegonewell，andhewouldhavebeenalivenow。’"

Albert，whocouldnotseethejusticeofthecomparison，offeredsomefurtherobjections，and，amongstothers，urgedthatIhadtakenthecaseofamereignorantgirl。Buthowanymanofsense，ofmoreenlargedviewsandexperience，couldbeexcused，hewasunabletocomprehend。"Myfriend！"Iexclaimed，"manisbutman;

and，whateverbetheextentofhisreasoningpowers，theyareoflittleavailwhenpassionrageswithin，andhefeelshimselfconfinedbythenarrowlimitsofnature。Itwerebetter，then——

butwewilltalkofthissomeothertime，"Isaid，andcaughtupmyhat。Alas！myheartwasfull;andwepartedwithoutconvictiononeitherside。Howrarelyinthisworlddomenunderstandeachother！

AUGUST15。

Therecanbenodoubtthatinthisworldnothingissoindispensableaslove。IobservethatCharlottecouldnotlosemewithoutapang，andtheverychildrenhavebutonewish;thatis，thatI

shouldvisitthemagainto-morrow。IwentthisafternoontotuneCharlotte’spiano。ButIcouldnotdoit，forthelittleonesinsistedonmytellingthemastory;andCharlotteherselfurgedmetosatisfythem。Iwaiteduponthemattea，andtheyarenowasfullycontentedwithmeaswithCharlotte;andItoldthemmyverybesttaleoftheprincesswhowaswaiteduponbydwarfs。

Iimprovemyselfbythisexercise，andamquitesurprisedattheimpressionmystoriescreate。IfIsometimesinventanincidentwhichIforgetuponthenextnarration，theyremindonedirectlythatthestorywasdifferentbefore;sothatInowendeavourtorelatewithexactnessthesameanecdoteinthesamemonotonoustone，whichneverchanges。Ifindbythis，howmuchanauthorinjureshisworksbyalteringthem，eventhoughtheybeimprovedinapoeticalpointofview。Thefirstimpressionisreadilyreceived。Wearesoconstitutedthatwebelievethemostincrediblethings;and，oncetheyareengraveduponthememory，woetohimwhowouldendeavourtoeffacethem。

AUGUST18。

Mustiteverbethus，——thatthesourceofourhappinessmustalsobethefountainofourmisery？Thefullandardentsentimentwhichanimatedmyheartwiththeloveofnature，overwhelmingmewithatorrentofdelight，andwhichbroughtallparadisebeforeme，hasnowbecomeaninsupportabletorment，ademonwhichperpetuallypursuesandharassesme。WheninbygonedaysIgazedfromtheserocksuponyondermountainsacrosstheriver，anduponthegreen，floweryvalleybeforeme，andsawalInaturebuddingandburstingaround;thehillsclothedfromfoottopeakwithtall，thickforesttrees;thevalleysinalltheirvariedwindings，shadedwiththeloveliestwoods;andthesoftriverglidingalongamongstthelispingreeds，mirroringthebeautifulcloudswhichthesofteveningbreezewaftedacrossthesky，——whenIheardthegrovesaboutmemelodiouswiththemusicofbirds，andsawthemillionswarmsofinsectsdancinginthelastgoldenbeamsofthesun，whosesettingraysawokethehummingbeetlesfromtheirgrassybeds，whilstthesubduedtumultarounddirectedmyattentiontotheground，andI

thereobservedthearidrockcompelledtoyieldnutrimenttothedrymoss，whilsttheheathflourisheduponthebarrensandsbelowme，allthisdisplayedtometheinnerwarmthwhichanimatesallnature，andfilledandglowedwithinmyheart。IfeltmyselfexaltedbythisoverflowingfulnesstotheperceptionoftheGodhead，andthegloriousformsofaninfiniteuniversebecamevisibletomysoul！Stupendousmountainsencompassedme，abyssesyawnedatmyfeet，andcataractsfellheadlongdownbeforeme;

impetuousriversrolledthroughtheplain，androcksandmountainsresoundedfromafar。InthedepthsoftheearthIsawinnumerablepowersinmotion，andmultiplyingtoinfinity;whilstuponitssurface，andbeneaththeheavens，thereteemedtenthousandvarietiesoflivingcreatures。Everythingaroundisalivewithaninfinitenumberofforms;whilemankindflyforsecuritytotheirpettyhouses，fromtheshelterofwhichtheyruleintheirimaginationsoverthewide-extendeduniverse。Poorfool！inwhosepettyestimationallthingsarelittle。Fromtheinaccessiblemountains，acrossthedesertwhichnomortalfoothastrod，farastheconfinesoftheunknownocean，breathesthespiritoftheeternalCreator;

andeveryatomtowhichhehasgivenexistencefindsfavourinhissight。Ah，howoftenatthattimehastheflightofabird，soaringabovemyhead，inspiredmewiththedesireofbeingtransportedtotheshoresoftheimmeasurablewaters，theretoquaffthepleasuresoflifefromthefoaminggobletoftheInfinite，andtopartake，ifbutforamomenteven，withtheconfinedpowersofmysoul，thebeatitudeofthatCreatorwhoaccomplishesallthingsinhimself，andthroughhimself！

Mydearfriend，thebarerecollectionofthosehoursstillconsolesme。Eventhisefforttorecallthoseineffablesensations，andgivethemutterance，exaltsmysoulaboveitself，andmakesmedoublyfeeltheintensityofmypresentanguish。

Itisasifacurtainhadbeendrawnfrombeforemyeyes，and，insteadofprospectsofeternallife，theabyssofaneveropengraveyawnedbeforeme。Canwesayofanythingthatitexistswhenallpassesaway，whentime，withthespeedofastorm，carriesallthingsonward，——andourtransitoryexistence，hurriedalongbythetorrent，iseitherswallowedupbythewavesordashedagainsttherocks？Thereisnotamomentbutpreysuponyou，——

anduponallaroundyou，notamomentinwhichyoudonotyourselfbecomeadestroyer。Themostinnocentwalkdeprivesoflifethousandsofpoorinsects：onestepdestroysthefabricoftheindustriousant，andconvertsalittleworldintochaos。No：itisnotthegreatandrarecalamitiesoftheworld，thefloodswhichsweepawaywholevillages，theearthquakeswhichswallowupourtowns，thataffectme。Myheartiswastedbythethoughtofthatdestructivepowerwhichliesconcealedineverypartofuniversalnature。Naturehasformednothingthatdoesnotconsumeitself，andeveryobjectnearit：sothat，surroundedbyearthandair，andalltheactivepowers，Iwanderonmywaywithachingheart;

andtheuniverseistomeafearfulmonster，foreverdevouringitsownoffspring。

AUGUST21。

InvaindoIstretchoutmyarmstowardherwhenIawakeninthemorningfrommywearyslumbers。InvaindoIseekforheratnightinmybed，whensomeinnocentdreamhashappilydeceivedme，andplacedhernearmeinthefields，whenIhaveseizedherhandandcovereditwithcountlesskisses。AndwhenIfeelforherinthehalfconfusionofsleep，withthehappysensethatsheisnear，tearsflowfrommyoppressedheart;and，bereftofallcomfort，I

weepovermyfuturewoes。

AUGUST22。

Whatamisfortune，Wilhelm！Myactivespiritshavedegeneratedintocontentedindolence。Icannotbeidle，andyetIamunabletosettowork。Icannotthink：Ihavenolongeranyfeelingforthebeautiesofnature，andbooksaredistastefultome。Oncewegiveourselvesup，wearetotallylost。ManyatimeandoftI

wishIwereacommonlabourer;that，awakeninginthemorning，I

mighthavebutoneprospect，onepursuit，onehope，forthedaywhichhasdawned。IoftenenvyAlbertwhenIseehimburiedinaheapofpapersandparchments，andIfancyIshouldbehappywereIinhisplace。OftenimpressedwiththisfeelingIhavebeenonthepointofwritingtoyouandtotheminister，fortheappointmentattheembassy，whichyouthinkImightobtain。IbelieveImightprocureit。Theministerhaslongshownaregardforme，andhasfrequentlyurgedmetoseekemployment。Itisthebusinessofanhouronly。Nowandthenthefableofthehorserecurstome。

Wearyofliberty，hesufferedhimselftobesaddledandbridled，andwasriddentodeathforhispains。Iknownotwhattodetermineupon。Forisnotthisanxietyforchangetheconsequenceofthatrestlessspiritwhichwouldpursuemeequallyineverysituationoflife？

AUGUST28。

Ifmyillswouldadmitofanycure，theywouldcertainlybecuredhere。Thisismybirthday，andearlyinthemorningIreceivedapacketfromAlbert。Uponopeningit，IfoundoneofthepinkribbonswhichCharlotteworeinherdressthefirsttimeIsawher，andwhichIhadseveraltimesaskedhertogiveme。WithitweretwovolumesinduodecimoofWetstein’s"Homer，"abookIhadoftenwishedfor，tosavemetheinconvenienceofcarryingthelargeErnestineeditionwithmeuponmywalks。Youseehowtheyanticipatemywishes，howwelltheyunderstandallthoselittleattentionsoffriendship，sosuperiortothecostlypresentsofthegreat，whicharehumiliating。Ikissedtheribbonathousandtimes，andineverybreathinhaledtheremembranceofthosehappyandirrevocabledayswhichfilledmewiththekeenestjoy。Such，Wilhelm，isourfate。Idonotmurmuratit：theflowersoflifearebutvisionary。

Howmanypassaway，andleavenotracebehind——howfewyieldanyfruit——andthefruititself，howrarelydoesitripen！Andyetthereareflowersenough！andisitnotstrange，myfriend，thatweshouldsufferthelittlethatdoesreallyripen，torot，decay，andperishunenjoyed？Farewell！Thisisaglorioussummer。I

oftenclimbintothetreesinCharlotte’sorchard，andshakedownthepearsthathangonthehighestbranches。Shestandsbelow，andcatchesthemastheyfall。

AUGUST3O。

UnhappybeingthatIam！WhydoIthusdeceivemyself？Whatistocomeofallthiswild，aimless，endlesspassion？Icannotprayexcepttoher。Myimaginationseesnothingbuther：allsurroundingobjectsareofnoaccount，exceptastheyrelatetoher。InthisdreamystateIenjoymanyhappyhours，tillatlengthIfeelcompelledtotearmyselfawayfromher。Ah，Wilhelm，towhatdoesnotmyheartoftencompelme！WhenIhavespentseveralhoursinhercompany，tillIfeelcompletelyabsorbedbyherfigure，hergrace，thedivineexpressionofherthoughts，mymindbecomesgraduallyexcitedtothehighestexcess，mysightgrowsdim，myhearingconfused，mybreathingoppressedasifbythehandofamurderer，andmybeatingheartseekstoobtainreliefformyachingsenses。IamsometimesunconsciouswhetherIreallyexist。IfinsuchmomentsIfindnosympathy，andCharlottedoesnotallowmetoenjoythemelancholyconsolationofbathingherhandwithmytears，Ifeelcompelledtotearmyselffromher，whenIeitherwanderthroughthecountry，climbsomeprecipitouscliff，orforceapaththroughthetracklessthicket，whereIamlaceratedandtornbythornsandbriers;andthenceIfindrelief。SometimesI

liestretchedontheground，overcomewithfatigueanddyingwiththirst;sometimes，lateinthenight，whenthemoonshinesaboveme，Ireclineagainstanagedtreeinsomesequesteredforest，torestmywearylimbs，when，exhaustedandworn，Isleeptillbreakofday。OWilhelm！thehermit’scell，hissackcloth，andgirdleofthornswouldbeluxuryandindulgencecomparedwithwhatIsuffer。

Adieu！Iseenoendtothiswretchednessexceptthegrave。

SEPTEMBER3。

Imustaway。Thankyou，Wilhelm，fordeterminingmywaveringpurpose。ForawholefortnightIhavethoughtofleavingher。I

mustaway。Shehasreturnedtotown，andisatthehouseofafriend。Andthen，Albert——yes，Imustgo。

SEPTEMBER1O。

Oh，whatanight，Wilhelm！Icanhenceforthbearanything。I

shallneverseeheragain。Oh，whycannotIfallonyourneck，and，withfloodsoftearsandraptures，giveutterancetoallthepassionswhichdistractmyheart！HereIsitgaspingforbreath，andstrugglingtocomposemyself。Iwaitforday，andatsunrisethehorsesaretobeatthedoor。

Andsheissleepingcalmly，littlesuspectingthatshehasseenmeforthelasttime。Iamfree。Ihavehadthecourage，inaninterviewoftwohours’duration，nottobetraymyintention。AndOWilhelm，whataconversationitwas！

AlberthadpromisedtocometoCharlotteinthegardenimmediatelyaftersupper。Iwasupontheterraceunderthetallchestnuttrees，andwatchedthesettingsun。Isawhimsinkforthelasttimebeneaththisdelightfulvalleyandsilentstream。IhadoftenvisitedthesamespotwithCharlotte，andwitnessedthatglorioussight;andnow——Iwaswalkingupanddowntheveryavenuewhichwassodeartome。AsecretsympathyhadfrequentlydrawnmethitherbeforeIknewCharlotte;andweweredelightedwhen，inourearlyacquaintance，wediscoveredthatweeachlovedthesamespot，whichisindeedasromanticasanythatevercaptivatedthefancyofanartist。

>Frombeneaththechestnuttrees，thereisanextensiveview。ButIrememberthatIhavementionedallthisinaformerletter，andhavedescribedthetallmassofbeechtreesattheend，andhowtheavenuegrowsdarkeranddarkerasitwindsitswayamongthem，tillitendsinagloomyrecess，whichhasallthecharmofamysterioussolitude。IstillrememberthestrangefeelingofmelancholywhichcameovermethefirsttimeIenteredthatdarkretreat，atbrightmidday。Ifeltsomesecretforebodingthatitwould，oneday，betomethesceneofsomehappinessormisery。

Ihadspenthalfanhourstrugglingbetweenthecontendingthoughtsofgoingandreturning，whenIheardthemcominguptheterrace。

Irantomeetthem。ItrembledasItookherhand，andkissedit。

Aswereachedthetopoftheterrace，themoonrosefrombehindthewoodedhill。Weconversedonmanysubjects，and，withoutperceivingit，approachedthegloomyrecess。Charlotteentered，andsatdown。Albertseatedhimselfbesideher。Ididthesame，butmyagitationdidnotsuffermetoremainlongseated。Igotup，andstoodbeforeher，thenwalkedbackwardandforward，andsatdownagain。Iwasrestlessandmiserable。Charlottedrewourattentiontothebeautifuleffectofthemoonlight，whichthrewasilverhueovertheterraceinfrontofus，beyondthebeechtrees。

Itwasaglorioussight，andwasrenderedmorestrikingbythedarknesswhichsurroundedthespotwherewewere。Weremainedforsometimesilent，whenCharlotteobserved，"WheneverIwalkbymoonlight，itbringstomyremembranceallmybelovedanddepartedfriends，andIamfilledwiththoughtsofdeathandfuturity。Weshallliveagain，Werther！"shecontinued，withafirmbutfeelingvoice;"butshallweknowoneanotheragainwhatdoyouthink？

whatdoyousay？"

"Charlotte，"Isaid，asItookherhandinmine，andmyeyesfilledwithtears，"weshallseeeachotheragain——hereandhereafterweshallmeetagain。"Icouldsaynomore。Why，Wilhelm，shouldsheputthisquestiontome，justatthemonentwhenthefearofourcruelseparationfilledmyheart？

"Andoh！dothosedepartedonesknowhowweareemployedhere？dotheyknowwhenwearewellandhappy？dotheyknowwhenwerecalltheirmemorieswiththefondestlove？Inthesilenthourofeveningtheshadeofmymotherhoversaroundme;whenseatedinthemidstofmychildren，Iseethemassemblednearme，astheyusedtoassemblenearher;andthenIraisemyanxiouseyestoheaven，andwishshecouldlookdownuponus，andwitnesshowIfulfilthepromiseImadetoherinherlastmoments，tobeamothertoherchildren。WithwhatemotiondoIthenexclaim，’Pardon，dearestofmothers，pardonme，ifIdonotadequatelysupplyyourplace！Alas！Idomyutmost。Theyareclothedandfed;and，stillbetter，theyarelovedandeducated。Couldyoubutsee，sweetsaint！thepeaceandharmonythatdwellsamongstus，youwouldglorifyGodwiththewarmestfeelingsofgratitude，towhom，inyourlasthour，youaddressedsuchferventprayersforourhappiness。’"Thusdidsheexpressherself;butOWilhelm！whocandojusticetoherlanguage？howcancoldandpassionlesswordsconveytheheavenlyexpressionsofthespirit？Albertinterruptedhergently。"Thisaffectsyoutoodeeply，mydearCharlotte。I

knowyoursouldwellsonsuchrecollectionswlthintensedelight;

butIimplore——""OAlbert！"shecontinued，"Iamsureyoudonotforgettheeveningswhenwethreeusedtositatthelittleroundtable，whenpapawasabsent，andthelittleoneshadretired。

Youoftenhadagoodbookwithyou，butseldomreadit;theconversationofthatnoblebeingwaspreferabletoeverything，——

thatbeautiful，bright，gentle，andyetever-toilingwoman。GodaloneknowshowIhavesupplicatedwithtearsonmynightlycouch，thatImightbelikeher。"

Ithrewmyselfatherfeet，and，seizingherhand，bedeweditwithathousandtears。"Charlotte！"Iexclaimed，"God’sblessingandyourmother’sspiritareuponyou。""Oh！thatyouhadknownher，"

shesaid，withawarmpressureofthehand。"Shewasworthyofbeingknowntoyou。"IthoughtIshouldhavefainted：neverhadIreceivedpraisesoflattering。Shecontinued，"Andyetshewasdoomedtodieintheflowerofheryouth，whenheryoungestchildwasscarcelysixmonthsold。Herillnesswasbutshort，butshewascalmandresigned;anditwasonlyforherchildren，especiallytheyoungest，thatshefeltunhappy。Whenherenddrewnigh，shebademebringthemtoher。Iobeyed。Theyoungeronesknewnothingoftheirapproachingloss，whiletheelderoneswerequiteovercomewithgrief。Theystoodaroundthebed;andsheraisedherfeeblehandstoheaven，andprayedoverthem;then，kissingtheminturn，shedismissedthem，andsaidtome，’Beyouamothertothem。’I

gavehermyhand。’Youarepromisingmuch，mychild，’shesaid：

’amother’sfondnessandamother’scare！Ihaveoftenwitnessed，byyourtearsofgratitude，thatyouknowwhatisamother’stenderness：showittoyourbrothersandsisters，andbedutifulandfaithfultoyourfatherasawife;youwillbehiscomfort。’

Sheinquiredforhim。Hehadretiredtoconcealhisintolerableanguish，——hewasheartbroken，"Albert，youwereintheroom。

Sheheardsomeonemoving：sheinquiredwhoitwas，anddesiredyoutoapproach。Shesurveyedusbothwithalookofcomposureandsatisfaction，expressiveofherconvictionthatweshouldbehappy，——happywithoneanother。"Albertfelluponherneck，andkissedher，andexclaimed，"Weareso，andweshallbeso！"EvenAlbert，generallysotranquil，hadquitelosthiscomposure;andIwasexcitedbeyondexpression。

"Andsuchabeing，"Shecontinued，"wastoleaveus，Werther！

GreatGod，mustwethuspartwitheverythingweholddearinthisworld？Nobodyfeltthismoreacutelythanthechildren：theycriedandlamentedforalongtimeafterward，complainingthatmenhadcarriedawaytheirdearmamma。"

Charlotterose。Itarousedme;butIcontinuedsitting，andheldherhand。"Letusgo，"shesaid："itgrowslate。"Sheattemptedtowithdrawherhand：Ihelditstill。"Weshallseeeachotheragain，"Iexclaimed："weshallrecogniseeachotherundereverypossiblechange！Iamgoing，"Icontinued，"goingwillingly;but，shouldIsayforever，perhapsImaynotkeepmyword。Adieu，Charlotte;adieu，Albert。Weshallmeetagain。""Yes：tomorrow，Ithink，"sheansweredwithasmile。Tomorrow！howIfelttheword！

Ah！shelittlethought，whenshedrewherhandawayfrommine。

Theywalkeddowntheavenue。Istoodgazingaftertheminthemoonlight。Ithrewmyselfupontheground，andwept：Ithensprangup，andranoutupontheterrace，andsaw，undertheshadeofthelinden-trees，herwhitedressdisappearingnearthegarden-gate。

Istretchedoutmyarms，andshevanished。

BOOKII。

OCTOBER2O。

Wearrivedhereyesterday。Theambassadorisindisposed，andwillnotgooutforsomedays。Ifhewerelesspeevishandmorose，allwouldbewell。IseebuttooplainlythatHeavenhasdestinedmetoseveretrials;butcourage！alightheartmaybearanything。

Alightheart！Ismiletofindsuchawordproceedingfrommypen。

Alittlemorelightheartednesswouldrendermethehappiestbeingunderthesun。ButmustIdespairofmytalentsandfaculties，whilstothersoffarinferiorabilitiesparadebeforemewiththeutmostself-satisfaction？GraciousProvidence，towhomIoweallmypowers，whydidstthounotwithholdsomeofthoseblessingsI

possess，andsubstituteintheirplaceafeelingofself-confidenceandcontentment？

Butpatience！allwillyetbewell;forIassureyou，mydearfriend，youwereright：sinceIhavebeenobligedtoassociatecontinuallywithotherpeople，andobservewhattheydo，andhowtheyemploythemselves，Ihavebecomefarbettersatisfiedwithmyself。Forwearesoconstitutedbynature，thatweareeverpronetocompareourselveswithothers;andourhappinessormiserydependsverymuchontheobjectsandpersonsaroundus。Onthisaccount，nothingismoredangerousthansolitude：thereourimagination，alwaysdisposedtorise，takinganewflightonthewingsoffancy，picturestousachainofbeingsofwhomweseemthemostinferior。Allthingsappeargreaterthantheyreallyare，andallseemsuperiortous。Thisoperationofthemindisquitenatural：wesocontinuallyfeelourownimperfections，andfancyweperceiveinothersthequalitieswedonotpossess，attributingtothemalsoallthatweenjoyourselves，thatbythisprocessweformtheideaofaperfect，happyman，——aman，however，whoonlyexistsinourownimagination。

Butwhen，inspiteofweaknessanddisappointments，wesettoworkinearnest，andperseveresteadily，weoftenfind，that，thoughobligedcontinuallytotack，wemakemorewaythanotherswhohavetheassistanceofwindandtide;and，intruth，therecanbenogreatersatisfactionthantokeeppacewithothersoroutstripthemintherace。

November26。

Ibegintofindmysituationheremoretolerable，consideringallcircumstances。Ifindagreatadvantageinbeingmuchoccupied;

andthenumberofpersonsImeet，andtheirdifferentpursuits，createavariedentertainmentforme。IhaveformedtheacquaintanceoftheCountC——andIesteemhimmoreandmoreeveryday。Heisamanofstrongunderstandingandgreatdiscernment;but，thoughheseesfartherthanotherpeople，heisnotonthataccountcoldinhismanner，butcapableofinspiringandreturningthewarmestaffection。Heappearedinterestedinmeononeoccasion，whenI

hadtotransactsomebusinesswithhim。Heperceived，atthefirstword，thatweunderstoodeachother，andthathecouldconversewithmeinadifferenttonefromwhatheusedwithothers。I

cannotsufficientlyesteemhisfrankandopenkindnesstome。Itisthegreatestandmostgenuineofpleasurestoobserveagreatmindinsympathywithourown。

DECEMBER24。

AsIanticipated，theambassadoroccasionsmeinfiniteannoyance。

Heisthemostpunctiliousblockheadunderheaven。Hedoeseverythingstepbystep，withthetriflingminutenessofanoldwoman;andheisamanwhomitisimpossibletoplease，becauseheisneverpleasedwithhimself。Iliketodobusinessregularlyandcheerfully，and，whenitisfinished，toleaveit。Butheconstantlyreturnsmypaperstome，saying，"Theywilldo，"butrecommendingmetolookoverthemagain，as"onemayalwaysimprovebyusingabetterwordoramoreappropriateparticle。"Ithenloseallpatience，andwishmyselfatthedevil’s。Notaconjunction，notanadverb，mustbeomitted：hehasadeadlyantipathytoallthosetranspositionsofwhichIamsofond;and，ifthemusicofourperiodsisnottunedtotheestablished，officialkey，hecannotcomprehendourmeaning。Itisdeplorabletobeconnectedwithsuchafellow。

MyacquaintancewiththeCountC——istheonlycompensationforsuchanevil。Hetoldmefrankly，theotherday，thathewasmuchdispleasedwiththedifficultiesanddelaysoftheambassador;

thatpeoplelikehimareobstacles，bothtothemselvesandtoothers。"But，"addedhe，"onemustsubmit，likeatravellerwhohastoascendamountain：ifthemountainwasnotthere，theroadwouldbebothshorterandpleasanter;butthereitis，andhemustgetoverit。"

Theoldmanperceivesthecount’spartialityforme：thisannoyshim，and，heseizeseveryopportunitytodepreciatethecountinmyhearing。Inaturallydefendhim，andthatonlymakesmattersworse。Yesterdayhemademeindignant，forhealsoalludedtome。

"Thecount，"hesaid，"isamanoftheworld，andagoodmanofbusiness：hisstyleisgood，andhewriteswithfacility;but，likeothergeniuses，hehasnosolidlearning。"HelookedatmewithanexpressionthatseemedtoaskifIfelttheblow。Butitdidnotproducethedesiredeffect：Idespiseamanwhocanthinkandactinsuchamanner。However，Imadeastand，andansweredwithnotalittlewarmth。Thecount，Isaid，wasamanentitledtorespect，alikeforhischaracterandhisacquirements。Ihadnevermetapersonwhosemindwasstoredwithmoreusefulandextensiveknowledge，——whohad，infact，masteredsuchaninfinitevarietyofsubjects，andwhoyetretainedallhisactivityforthedetailsofordinarybusiness。Thiswasaltogetherbeyondhiscomprehension;andItookmyleave，lestmyangershouldbetoohighlyexcitedbysomenewabsurdityofhis。

Andyouaretoblameforallthis，youwhopersuadedmetobendmynecktothisyokebypreachingalifeofactivitytome。Ifthemanwhoplantsvegetables，andcarrieshiscorntotownonmarket-days，isnotmoreusefullyemployedthanIam，thenletmeworktenyearslongeratthegalleystowhichIamnowchained。

Oh，thebrilliantwretchedness，theweariness，thatoneisdoomedtowitnessamongthesillypeoplewhomwemeetinsocietyhere！

Theambitionofrank！Howtheywatch，howtheytoil，togainprecedence！Whatpoorandcontemptiblepassionsaredisplayedintheirutternakedness！Wehaveawomanhere，forexample，whoneverceasestoentertainthecompanywithaccountsofherfamilyandherestates。Anystrangerwouldconsiderherasillybeing，whoseheadwasturnedbyherpretensionstorankandproperty;butsheisinrealityevenmoreridiculous，thedaughterofameremagistrate’sclerkfromthisneighbourhood。Icannotunderstandhowhumanbeingscansodebasethemselves。

EverydayIobservemoreandmorethefollyofjudgingofothersbyourselves;andIhavesomuchtroublewithmyseif，andmyownheartisinsuchconstantagitation，thatIamwellcontenttoletotherspursuetheirowncourse，iftheyonlyallowmethesameprivilege。

Whatprovokesmemostistheunhappyextenttowhichdistinctionsofrankarecarried。Iknowperfectlywellhownecessaryareinequalitiesofcondition，andIamsensibleoftheadvantagesI

myselfderivetherefrom;butIwouldnothavetheseinstitutionsproveabarriertothesmallchanceofhappinesswhichImayenjoyonthisearth。

IhavelatelybecomeacquaintedwithaMissB——，averyagreeablegirl，whohasretainedhernaturalmannersinthemidstofartificiallife。Ourfirstconversationpleasedusbothequally;and，attakingleave，Irequestedpermissiontovisither。Sheconsentedinsoobligingamanner，thatIwaitedwithimpatienceforthearrivalofthehappymoment。Sheisnotanativeofthisplace，butresidesherewithheraunt。Thecountenanceoftheoldladyisnotprepossessing。Ipaidhermuchattention，addressingthegreaterpartofmyconversationtoher;and，inlessthanhalfanhour，Idiscoveredwhatherniecesubsequentlyacknowledgedtome，thatheragedaunt，havingbutasmallfortune，andastillsmallershareofunderstanding，enjoysnosatisfactionexceptinthepedigreeofherancestors，noprotectionsaveinhernoblebirth，andnoenjoymentbutinlookingfromhercastleovertheheadsofthehumblecitizens。Shewas，nodoubt，handsomeinheryouth，andinherearlyyearsprobablytrifledawayhertimeinrenderingmanyapooryouththesportofhercaprice：inherriperyearsshehassubmittedtotheyokeofaveteranofficer，who，inreturnforherpersonandhersmallindependence，hasspentwithherwhatwemaydesignateherageofbrass。Heisdead;andsheisnowawidow，anddeserted。Shespendsherironagealone，andwouldnotbeapproached，exceptforthelovelinessofherniece。

JANUARY8，1772。

Whatbeingsaremen，whosewholethoughtsareoccupiedwithformandceremony，whoforyearstogetherdevotetheirmentalandphysicalexertionstothetaskofadvancingthemselvesbutonestep，andendeavouringtooccupyahigherplaceatthetable。Notthatsuchpersonswouldotherwisewantemployment：onthecontrary，theygivethemselvesmuchtroublebyneglectingimportantbusinessforsuchpettytrifles。Lastweekaquestionofprecedencearoseatasledging-party，andallouramusementwasspoiled。

Thesillycreaturescannotseethatitisnotplacewhichconstitutesrealgreatness，sincethemanwhooccupiesthefirstplacebutseldomplaystheprincipalpart。Howmanykingsaregovernedbytheirministers——howmanyministersbytheirsecretaries？Who，insuchcases，isreallythechief？He，asitseemstome，whocanseethroughtheothers，andpossessesstrengthorskillenoughtomaketheirpowerorpassionssubservienttotheexecutionofhisowndesigns。

JANUARY20。

Imustwritetoyoufromthisplace，mydearCharlotte，fromasmallroominacountryinn，whereIhavetakenshelterfromaseverestorm。DuringmywholeresidenceinthatwretchedplaceD——，whereIlivedamongststrangers，——strangers，indeed，tothisheart，——Ineveratanytimefeltthesmallestinclinationtocorrespondwithyou;butinthiscottage，inthisretirement，inthissolitude，withthesnowandhailbeatingagainstmylattice-pane，youaremyfirstthought。TheinstantIentered，yourfigureroseupbeforeme，andtheremembrance！OmyCharlotte，thesacred，tenderremembrance！GraciousHeaven！restoretomethehappymomentofourfirstacquaintance。

【推荐阅读】幽幽深宫，醒来一梦似千年，重生于下堂妃身躯中的她，将如何手刃仇人? 点击阅读