ThePhantom’RickshawMyOwnTrueGhostStoryTheStrangeRideofMorrowbieJukesTheManWhoWouldBeKing"TheFinestStoryinTheWorld"
THEPHANTOM’RICKSHAW
Maynoilldreamsdisturbmyrest，NorPowersofDarknessmemolest-
EveningHymn。
ONEofthefewadvantagesthatIndiahasoverEnglandisagreatKnowability。Afterfiveyears’serviceamanisdirectlyorindirectlyacquaintedwiththetwoorthreehundredCiviliansinhisProvince，alltheMessesoftenortwelveRegimentsandBatteries，andsomefifteenhundredotherpeopleofthenon-officialcaste。Intenyearshisknowledgeshouldbedoubled，andattheendoftwentyheknows，orknowssomethingabout，everyEnglishmanintheEmpire，andmaytravelanywhereandeverywherewithoutpayinghotel-bills。
Globe-trotterswhoexpectentertainmentasaright，have，evenwithinmymemory，bluntedthisopen-heartedness，butnonethelessto-day，ifyoubelongtotheInnerCircleandareneitheraBearnoraBlackSheep，allhousesareopentoyou，andoursmallworldisvery，verykindandhelpful。
RickettofKamarthastayedwithPolderofKumaonsomefifteenyearsago。Hemeanttostaytwonights，butwasknockeddownbyrheumaticfever，andforsixweeksdisorganizedPolder’sestablishment，stoppedPolder’swork，andnearlydiedinPolder’sbedroom。PolderbehavesasthoughhehadbeenplacedundereternalobligationbyRickett，andyearlysendsthelittleRickettsaboxofpresentsandtoys。Itisthesameeverywhere。Themenwhodonottakethetroubletoconcealfromyoutheiropinionthatyouareanincompetentass，andthewomenwhoblackenyourcharacterandmisunderstandyourwife’samusements，willworkthemselvestotheboneinyourbehalfifyoufallsickorintoserioustrouble。
Heatherlegh，theDoctor，kept，inadditiontohisregularpractice，ahospitalonhisprivateaccount-anarrangementoflooseboxesforIncurables，hisfriendcalledit-butitwasreallyasortoffitting-upshedforcraftthathadbeendamagedbystressofweather。TheweatherinIndiaisoftensultry，andsincethetaleofbricksisalwaysafixedquantity，andtheonlylibertyallowedispermissiontoworkovertimeandgetnothanks，menoccasionallybreakdownandbecomeasmixedasthemetaphorsinthissentence。
Heatherleghisthedearestdoctorthateverwas，andhisinvariableprescriptiontoallhispatientsis，"lielow，goslow，andkeepcool。"
Hesaysthatmoremenarekilledbyoverworkthantheimportanceofthisworldjustifies。HemaintainsthatoverworkslewPansay，whodiedunderhishandsaboutthreeyearsago。Hehas，ofcourse，therighttospeakauthoritatively，andhelaughsatmytheorythattherewasacrackinPansay’sheadandalittlebitoftheDarkWorldcamethroughandpressedhimtodeath。"Pansaywentoffthehandle，"saysHeatherlegh，"afterthestimulusoflongleaveatHome。HemayorhemaynothavebehavedlikeablackguardtoMrs。Keith-Wessington。MynotionisthattheworkoftheKatabundiSettlementranhimoffhislegs，andthathetooktobroodingandmakingmuchofanordinaryP。&0。flirtation。HecertainlywasengagedtoMissMannering，andshecertainlybrokeofftheengagement。Thenhetookafeverishchillandallthatnonsenseaboutghostsdeveloped。Overworkstartedhisillness，keptitalight，andkilledhimpoordevil。WritehimofftotheSystem-onemantotaketheworkoftwoandahalfmen。"
Idonotbelievethis。IusedtositupwithPansaysometimeswhenHeatherleghwascalledouttopatients，andIhappenedtobewithinclaim。Themanwouldmakememostunhappybydescribinginalow，evenvoice，theprocessionthatwasalwayspassingatthebottomofhisbed。Hehadasickman’scommandoflanguage。
WhenherecoveredIsuggestedthatheshouldwriteoutthewholeaffairfrombeginningtoend，knowingthatinkmightassisthimtoeasehismind。Whenlittleboyshavelearnedanewbadwordtheyareneverhappytilltheyhavechalkedituponadoor。AndthisalsoisLiterature。
Hewasinahighfeverwhilehewaswriting，andtheblood-and-
thunderMagazinedictionheadopteddidnotcalmhim。Twomonthsafterwardhewasreportedfitforduty，but，inspiteofthefactthathewasurgentlyneededtohelpanundermannedCommissionstaggerthroughadeficit，hepreferredtodie;vowingatthelastthathewashag-ridden。Igothismanuscriptbeforehedied，andthisishisversionoftheaffair，dated1885：
MydoctortellsmethatIneedrestandchangeofair。ItisnotimprobablethatIshallgetbotherelong-restthatneitherthered-coatedmessengernorthemiddayguncanbreak，andchangeofairfarbeyondthatwhichanyhomeward-boundsteamercangiveme。InthemeantimeIamresolvedtostaywhereIam;and，inflatdefianceofmydoctor’sorders，totakealltheworldintomyconfidence。Youshalllearnforyourselvestheprecisenatureofmymalady;andshall，too，judgeforyourselveswhetheranymanbornofwomanonthiswearyearthwaseversotormentedasI。
Speakingnowasacondemnedcriminalmightspeakerethedrop-boltsaredrawn，mystory，wildandhideouslyimprobableasitmayappear，demandsatleastattention。ThatitwilleverreceivecredenceIutterlydisbelieve。TwomonthsagoIshouldhavescoutedasmadordrunkthemanwhohaddaredtellmethelike。
TwomonthsagoIwasthehappiestmaninIndia。Today，fromPeshawurtothesea，thereisnoonemorewretched。MydoctorandIaretheonlytwowhoknowthis。Hisexplanationis，thatmybrain，digestion，andeyesightareallslightlyaffected;givingrisetomyfrequentandpersistent"delusions。"Delusions，indeed！I
callhimafool;butheattendsmestillwiththesameunweariedsmile，thesameblandprofessionalmanner，thesameneatlytrimmedredwhiskers，tillIbegintosuspectthatIamanungrateful，evil-temperedinvalid。Butyoushalljudgeforyour-selves。
ThreeyearsagoitwasmyfortunemygreatmisfortunetosailfromGravesendtoBombay，onreturnfromlongleave，withoneAgnesKeith-Wessington，wifeofanofficerontheBombayside。Itdoesnotintheleastconcernyoutoknowwhatmannerofwomanshewas。Becontentwiththeknowledgethat，erethevoyagehadended，bothsheandIweredesperatelyandunreasoninglyinlovewithoneanother。HeavenknowsthatIcanmaketheadmissionnowwithoutoneparticleofvanity。Inmattersofthissortthereisalwaysonewhogivesandanotherwhoaccepts。Fromthefirstdayofourill-omenedattachment，IwasconsciousthatAgnes’spassionwasastronger，amoredominant，and-ifImayusetheexpression-apurersentimentthanmine。Whethersherecognizedthefactthen，Idonotknow。Afterwarditwasbitterlyplaintobothofus。
ArrivedatBombayinthespringoftheyear，wewentourrespectiveways，tomeetnomoreforthenextthreeorfourmonths，whenmyleaveandherlovetookusbothtoSimla。Therewespenttheseasontogether;andtheremyfireofstrawburneditselfouttoapitifulendwiththeclosingyear。Iattemptnoexcuse。Imakenoapology。Mrs。Wessingtonhadgivenupmuchformysake，andwaspreparedtogiveupall。Frommyownlips，inAugust，1882，shelearnedthatIwassickofherpresence，tiredofhercompany，andwearyofthesoundofhervoice。Ninety-ninewomenoutofahundredwouldhaveweariedofmeasIweariedofthem;seventy-fiveofthatnumberwouldhavepromptlyavengedthemselvesbyactiveandobtrusiveflirtation’withothermen。Mrs。
Wessingtonwasthehundredth。OnherneithermyopenlyexpressedaversionnorthecuttingbrutalitieswithwhichI
garnishedourinterviewshadtheleasteffect。
"Jack，darling！"washeroneeternalcuckoocry："I’msureit’sallamistake-ahideousmistake;andwe’llbegoodfriendsagainsomeday。Pleaseforgiveme，Jack，dear。"
Iwastheoffender，andIknewit。Thatknowledgetransformedmypityintopassiveendurance，and，eventually，intoblindhat~thesameinstinct，Isuppose，whichpromptsamantosavagelystamponthespiderhehasbuthalfkilled。Andwiththishateinmybosomtheseasonof1882cametoanend。
NextyearwemetagainatSimla-shewithhermonotonousfaceandtimidattemptsatreconciliation，andIwithloathingofherineveryfibreofmyframe。SeveraltimesIcouldnotavoidmeetingheralone;andoneachoccasionherwordswereidenticallythesame。Stilltheunreasoningwailthatitwasalla"mistake";andstillthehopeofeventually"makingfriends。"ImighthaveseenhadIcaredtolook，thatthathopeonlywaskeepingheralive。Shegrewmorewanandthinmonthbymonth。Youwillagreewithme，atleast，thatsuchconductwouldhavedrivenanyonetodespair。Itwasuncalledfor;childish;unwomanly。Imaintainthatshewasmuchtoblame。Andagain，sometimes，intheblack，fever-strickennight-watches，IhavebeguntothinkthatImighthavebeenalittlekindertoher。Butthatreallyisa"delusion。"I
couldnothavecontinuedpretendingtoloveherwhenIdidn’t;
couldI？Itwouldhavebeenunfairtousboth。
Lastyearwemetagain-onthesametermsasbefore。Thesamewearyappeal，andthesamecurtanswersfrommylips。AtleastI
wouldmakeherseehowwhollywrongandhopelesswereherattemptsatresumingtheoldrelationship。Astheseasonworeon，wefellapart-thatistosay，shefounditdifficulttomeetme，forI
hadotherandmoreabsorbingintereststoattendto。WhenIthinkitoverquietlyinmysick-room，theseasonof1884seemsaconfusednightmarewhereinlightandshadewerefantasticallyintermingled-mycourtshipoflittleKittyMannering;myhopes，doubts，andfears;ourlongridestogether;mytremblingavowalofattachment;
herreply;andnowandagainavisionofawhitefaceflittingbyinthe’rickshawwiththeblackandwhiteliveriesIoncewatchedforsoearnestly;thewaveofMrs。Wessington’sglovedhand;and，whenshemetmealone，whichwasbutseldom，theirksomemonotonyofherappeal。IlovedKittyMannering;honestly，heartilylovedher，andwithmyloveforhergrewmyhatredforAgnes。InAugustKittyandIwereengaged。ThenextdayImetthoseaccursed"magpie"jhampaniesatthebackofJakko，and，movedbysomepassingsentimentofpity，stoppedtotellMrs。
Wessingtoneverything。Sheknewitalready。
"SoIhearyou’reengaged，Jackdear。"Then，withoutamoment’spause-"I’msureit’sallamistake-ahideousmistake。Weshallbeasgoodfriendssomeday，Jack，asweeverwere。"
Myanswermighthavemadeevenamanwince。Itcutthedyingwomanbeforemeliketheblowof’awhip。"Pleaseforgiveme，Jack;Ididn’tmeantomakeyouangry;butit’strue，it’strue！"
AndMrs。Wessingtonbrokedowncompletely。Iturnedawayandlefthertofinishherjourneyinpeace，feeling，butonlyforamomentortwo，thatIhadbeenanunutterablymeanhound。I
lookedback，andsawthatshehadturnedher’rickshawwiththeidea，Isuppose，ofovertakingme。
Thesceneanditssurroundingswerephotographedonmymemory。
Therain-sweptsky（wewereattheendofthewetweather），thesodden，dingypines，themuddyroad，andtheblackpowder-rivencliffsformedagloomybackgroundagainstwhichtheblackandwhiteliveriesofthejhampanies，theyellow-paneled’rickshawandMrs。Wessington’sdown-bowedgoldenheadstoodoutclearly。
Shewasholdingherhandkerchiefinherlefthandandwasleaninghackexhaustedagainstthe’rickshawcushions。IturnedmyhorseupabypathneartheSanjowlieReservoirandliterallyranaway。
OnceIfanciedIheardafaintcallof"Jack！"Thismayhavebeenimagination。Ineverstoppedtoverifyit。TenminuteslaterIcameacrossKittyonhorseback;and，inthedelightofalongridewithher，forgotallabouttheinterview。
AweeklaterMrs。Wessingtondied，andtheinexpressibleburdenofherexistencewasremovedfrommylife。IwentPlainswardperfectlyhappy。BeforethreemonthswereoverIhadforgottenallabouther，exceptthatattimesthediscoveryofsomeofheroldlettersremindedmeunpleasantlyofourbygonerelationship。ByJanuaryIhaddisinterredwhatwasleftofourcorrespondencefromamongmyscatteredbelongingsandhadburnedit。AtthebeginningofAprilofthisyear，1885，IwasatSimla-semi-desertedSimla-oncemore，andwasdeepinlover’stalksandwalkswithKitty。ItwasdecidedthatweshouldbemarriedattheendofJune。
Youwillunderstand，therefore，that，lovingKittyasIdid，IamnotsayingtoomuchwhenIpronouncemyselftohavebeen，atthattime，thehappiestmaninIndia。
FourteendelightfuldayspassedalmostbeforeInoticedtheirflight。
Then，arousedtothesenseofwhatwasproperamongmortalscircumstancedaswewere，IpointedouttoKittythatanengagementringwastheoutwardandvisiblesignofherdignityasanengagedgirl;andthatshemustforthwithcometoHamilton’stobemeasuredforone。Uptothatmoment，Igiveyoumyword，wehadcompletelyforgottensotrivialamatter。ToHamilton’sweaccordinglywentonthe15thofApril，1885。Rememberthat-whatevermydoctormaysaytothecontrary-Iwastheninperfecthealth，enjoyingawell-balancedmindandanabsolutetranquilspirit。KittyandIenteredHamilton’sshoptogether，andthere，regardlessoftheorderofaffairs，ImeasuredKittyfortheringinthepresenceoftheamusedassistant。Theringwasasapphirewithtwodiamonds。WethenrodeoutdowntheslopethatleadstotheCombermereBridgeandPeliti’sshop。
WhilemyWalerwascautiouslyfeelinghiswayoverthelooseshale，andKittywaslaughingandchatteringatmyside-whileallSimla，thatistosayasmuchofitashadthencomefromthePlains，wasgroupedroundtheReading-roomandPeliti’sveranda，-Iwasawarethatsomeone，apparentlyatavastdistance，wascallingmebymyChristianname。ItstruckmethatIhadheardthevoicebefore，butwhenandwhereIcouldnotatoncedetermine。IntheshortspaceittooktocovertheroadbetweenthepathfromHamilton’sshopandthefirstplankoftheComber-mereBridgeIhadthoughtoverhalfadozenpeoplewhomighthavecommittedsuchasolecism，andhadeventuallydecidedthatitmusthavebeensinginginmyears。ImmediatelyoppositePeliti’sshopmyeyewasarrestedbythesightoffourjharnpaniesin"magpie"livery，pullingayellow-paneled，cheap，bazar’rickshaw。
InamomentmymindflewbacktothepreviousseasonandMrs。
Wessingtonwithasenseofirritationanddisgust。Wasitnotenoughthatthewomanwasdeadanddonewith，withoutherblackandwhiteservitorsreappearingtospoiltheday’shappiness？
WhoeveremployedthemnowIthoughtIwouldcallupon，andaskasapersonalfavortochangeherJhampanies’livery。Iwouldhirethemenmyself，and，ifnecessary，buytheircoatsfromofftheirbacks。Itisimpossibletosayherewhatafloodofundesirablememoriestheirpresenceevoked。
"Kitty，"Icried，"therearepoorMrs。Wessington’sjhampaniesturnedupagain！Iwonderwhohasthemnow？"
KittyhadknownMrs。Wessingtonslightlylastseason，andhadalwaysbeeninterestedinthesicklywoman。
"What？Where？"sheasked。"Ican’tseethemanywhere。"
Evenasshespokeherhorse，swervingfromaladenmule，threwhimselfdirectlyinfrontoftheadvancing’rickshaw。Ihadscarcelytimetoutterawordofwarningwhen，tomyunutterablehorror，horseandriderpassedthroughmenandcarriageasiftheyhadbeenthinair。
"What’sthematter？"criedKitty;"whatmadeyoucalloutsofoolishly，Jack？IfIamengagedIdon’twantallcreationtoknowaboutit。Therewaslotsofspacebetweenthemuleandtheveranda;and，ifyouthinkIcan’tride-There！"
WhereuponwilfulKittysetoff，herdaintylittleheadintheair，atahand-gallopinthedirectionoftheBandstand;fullyexpecting，assheherselfafterwardtoldme，thatIshouldfollowher。Whatwasthematter？Nothingindeed。EitherthatIwasmadordrunk，orthatSimlawashauntedwithdevils。Ireinedinmyimpatientcob，andturnedround。The’rickshawhadturnedtoo，andnowstoodimmediatelyfacingme，neartheleftrailingoftheComber-mereBridge。
"Jack！Jack，darling！"（Therewasnomistakeaboutthewordsthistime：theyrangthroughmybrainasiftheyhadbeenshoutedinmyear。）"It’ssomehideousmistake，I’msure。Pleaseforgiveme，jack，andlet’sbefriendsagain。"
The’rickshaw-hoodhadfallenback，andinside，asIhopeandpraydailyforthedeathIdreadbynight，satMrs。Keith-Wessington，handkerchiefinhand，andgoldenheadbowedonherbreast。
HowlongIstaredmotionlessIdonotknow。Finally，IwasarousedbymyyscetakingtheWaler’sbridleandaskingwhetherI
wasill。Fromthehorribletothecommonplaceisbutastep。I
tumbledoffmyhorseanddashed，halffainting，intoPeliti’sforaglassofcherry-brandy。Theretwoorthreecouplesweregatheredroundthecoffee-tablesdiscussingthegossipoftheday。Theirtrivialitiesweremorecomfortingtomejustthenthantheconsolationsofreligioncouldhavebeen。Iplungedintothemidstoftheconversationatonce;chatted，laughed，andjestedwithaface（whenIcaughtaglimpseofitinamirror）aswhiteanddrawnasthatofacorpse。Threeorfourmemnoticedmycondition;and，evidentlysettingitdowntotheresultsofover-manypegs，charitablyendeavouredtodrawmeapartfromtherestoftheloungers。ButIrefusedtobeledaway。Iwantedthecompanyofmykind-asachildrushesintothemidstofthedinner-partyafterafrightinthedark。Imusthavetalkedforabouttenminutesorso，thoughitseemedaneternitytome，whenIheardKitty’sclearvoiceoutsideinquiringforme。Inanotherminuteshehadenteredtheshop，preparedtoroundlyupbraidmeforfailingsosignallyinmyduties。Somethinginmyfacestoppedher。
"Why，Jack，"shecried，"whathaveyoubeendoing？Whathashappened？Areyouill？"Thusdrivenintoadirectlie，Isaidthatthesunhadbeenalittletoomuchforme。Itwascloseuponfiveo’clockofacloudyAprilafternoon，andthesunhadbeenhiddenallday。Isawmymistakeassoonasthewordswereoutofmymouth：attemptedtorecoverit;blunderedhopelesslyandfollowedKittyinaregalrage，outofdoors，amidthesmilesofmyacquaintances。Imadesomeexcuse（Ihaveforgottenwhat）onthescoreofmyfeelingfaint;andcanteredawaytomyhotel，leavingKittytofinishtheridebyherself。
InmyroomIsatdownandtriedcalmlytoreasonoutthematter。
HerewasI，TheobaldJackPansay，awell-educatedBengalCivilianintheyearofgrace，1885，presumablysane，certainlyhealthy，driveninterrorfrommysweetheart’ssidebytheapparitionofawomanwhohadbeendeadandburiedeightmonthsago。ThesewerefactsthatIcouldnotblink。NothingwasfurtherfrommythoughtthananymemoryofMrs。WessingtonwhenKittyandIleftHamilton’sshop。NothingwasmoreutterlycommonplacethanthestretchofwalloppositePeliti’s。Itwasbroaddaylight。Theroadwasfullofpeople;andyethere，lookyou，indefianceofeverylawofprobability，indirectoutrageofNature’sordinance，therehadappearedtomeafacefromthegrave。
Kitty’sArabhadgonethroughthe’rickshaw：sothatmyfirsthopethatsomewomanmarvelouslylikeMrs。Wessingtonhadhiredthecarriageandthecoolieswiththeiroldliverywaslost。AgainandagainIwentroundthistreadmillofthought;andagainandagaingaveupbaffledandindespair。Thevoicewasasinexplicableastheapparition。IhadoriginallysomewildnotionofconfidingitalltoKitty;ofbegginghertomarrymeatonce;andinherarmsdefyingtheghostlyoccupantofthe’rickshaw。"Afterall，"I
argued，"thepresenceofthe’rickshawisinitselfenoughtoprovetheexistenceofaspectralillusion。Onemayseeghostsofmenandwomen，butsurelyneverofcooliesandcarriages。ThewholethingisabsurdFancytheghostofahill-man！"
NextmorningIsentapenitentnotetoKitty，imploringhertooverlookmystrangeconductofthepreviousafternoon。MyDivinitywasstillverywroth，andapersonalapologywasnecessary。Iexplained，withafluencybornofnight-longponderingoverafalsehood，thatIhadbeenattackedwithsuddenpalpitationoftheheart-theresultofindigestion。Thiseminentlypracticalsolutionhaditseffect;andKittyandIrodeoutthatafternoonwiththeshadowofmyfirstliedividingus。
NothingwouldpleasehersaveacanterroundJakko。WithmynervesstillunstrungfromthepreviousnightIfeeblyprotestedagainstthenotion，suggestingObservatoryHill，Jutogh，theBoileaugungeroad-anythingratherthantheJakkoround。Kittywasangryandalittlehurt：soIyieldedfromfearofprovokingfurthermisunderstanding，andwesetouttogethertowardChotaSimla。Wewalkedagreaterpartoftheway，and，accordingtoourcustom，canteredfromamileorsobelowtheConventtothestretchoflevelroadbytheSanjowlieReservoir。Thewretchedhorsesappearedtofly，andmyheartbeatquickerandquickeraswenearedthecrestoftheascent。MymindhadbeenfullofMrs。
Wessingtonalltheafternoon;andeveryinchoftheJakkoroadborewitnesstoouroldtimewalksandtalks。Thebowlderswerefullofit;thepinessangitaloudoverhead;therain-fedtorrentsgiggledandchuckledunseenovertheshamefulstory;andthewindinmyearschantedtheiniquityaloud。
Asafittingclimax，inthemiddleofthelevelmencalltheLadies’
MiletheHorrorwasawaitingme。Noother’rickshawwasinsight-onlythefourblackandwhitejhampanies，theyellow-
paneledcarriage，andthegoldenheadofthewomanwithin-allapparentlyjustasIhadleftthemeightmonthsandonefortnightago！ForaninstantIfanciedthatKittymustseewhatIsaw-weweresomarvelouslysympatheticinallthings。Hernextwordsundeceivedme-’~Notasoulinsight！Comealong，Jack，andI’llraceyoutotheReservoirbuildings！"HerwirylittleArabwasofflikeabird，myWalerfollowingclosebehind，andinthisorderwedashedunderthecliffs。Halfaminutebroughtuswithinfiftyyardsofthe’rickshaw。IpulledmyWalerandfellbackalittle。The’rickshawwasdirectlyinthemiddleoftheroad;andoncemoretheArabpassedthroughit，myhorsefollowing。"Jack！Jackdear！
Peaseforgiveme，"rangwithawailinmyears，and，afteraninterval：-"It’samistake，ahideousmistake！"
Ispurredmyhorselikeamanpossessed。WhenIturnedmyheadattheReservoirworks，theblackandwhiteliverieswerestillwaiting-patientlywaiting-underthegreyhillside，andthewindbroughtmeamockingechoofthewordsIhadjustheard。Kittybanteredmeagooddealonmysilencethroughouttheremainderoftheride。Ihadbeentalkinguptillthenwildlyandatrandom。
TosavemylifeIcouldnotspeakafterwardnaturally，andfromSanjowlietotheChurchwiselyheldmytongue。
IwastodinewiththeManneringsthatnight，andhadbarelytimetocanterhometodress。OntheroadtoElysiumHillIoverheardtwomentalkingtogetherinthedusk-"It’sacuriousthing，"saidone，"howcompletelyalltraceofitdisappeared。Youknowmywifewasinsanelyfondofthewoman（’nevercouldseeanythinginhermyself），andwantedmetopickupherold’rickshawandcooliesiftheyweretobegotforloveormoney。MorbidsortoffancyIcallit;butI’vegottodowhattheMemsahibtellsme。
Wouldyoubelievethatthemanshehireditfromtellsmethatallfourofthemen-theywerebrothers-diedofcholeraonthewaytoHardwar，poordevils，andthe’rickshawhasbeenbrokenupbythemanhimself。’ToldmeheneverusedadeadMemsakib’s’rickshaw。’Spoiledhisluck。Queernotion，wasn’tit？FancypoorlittleMrs。Wessingtonspoilinganyone’sluckexceptherown！"I
laughedaloudatthispoint;andmylaughjarredonmeasIutteredit。Sotherewereghostsof’rickshawsafterall，andghostlyemploymentsintheotherworld！HowmuchdidMrs。Wessingtongivehermen？Whatweretheirhours？Wheredidtheygo？
AndforvisibleanswertomylastquestionIsawtheinfernalThingblockingmypathinthetwilight。Thedeadtravelfast，andbyshortcutsunknowntoordinarycoolies。Ilaughedaloudasecondtimeandcheckedmylaughtersuddenly，forIwasafraidIwasgoingmad。MadtoacertainextentImusthavebeen，forIrecollectthatIreinedinmyhorseattheheadofthe’rickshaw，andpolitelywishedMrs。Wessington"Good-evening。"HeranswerwasoneI
knewonlytoowell。Ilistenedtotheend;andrepliedthatIhadhearditallbefore，butshouldbedelightedifshehadanythingfurthertosay。SomemalignantdevilstrongerthanImusthaveenteredintomethatevening，forIhaveadimrecollectionoftalkingthecommonplacesofthedayforfiveminutestotheThinginfrontofme。
"Madasahatter，poordevil-ordrunk。Max，tryandgethimtocomehome。"
SurelythatwasnotMrs。Wessington’svoice！Thetwomenhadoverheardmespeakingtotheemptyair，andhadreturnedtolookafterme。Theywereverykindandconsiderate，andfromtheirwordsevidentlygatheredthatIwasextremelydrunk。Ithankedthemconfusedlyandcanteredawaytomyhotel，therechanged，andarrivedattheMannerings’tenminuteslate。Ipleadedthedarknessofthenightasanexcuse;wasrebukedbyKittyformyunlover-liketardiness;andsatdown。
Theconversationhadalreadybecomegeneral;andundercoverofit，IwasaddressingsometendersmalltalktomysweetheartwhenIwasawarethatatthefurtherendofthetableashortred-
whiskeredmanwasdescribing，withmuchbroidery，hisencounterwithamadunknownthatevening。
Afewsentencesconvincedmethathewasrepeatingtheincidentofhalfanhourago。Inthemiddleofthestoryhelookedroundforapplause，asprofessionalstory-tellersdo，caughtmyeye，andstraightwaycollapsed。Therewasamoment’sawkwardsilence，andthered-whiskeredmanmutteredsomethingtotheeffectthathehad"forgottentherest，"therebysacrificingareputationasagoodstory~tellerwhichhehadbuiltupforsixseasonspast。Iblessedhimfromthebottomofmyheart，and-wentonwithmyfish。
Inthefulnessoftimethatdinnercametoanend;andwithgenuineregretItoremyselfawayfromKitty-ascertainasIwasofmyownexistencethatItwouldbewaitingformeoutsidethedoor。Thered-whiskeredman，whohadbeenintroducedtomeasDoctorHeatherlegh，ofSimla，volunteeredtobearmecompanyasfarasourroadslaytogether。Iacceptedhisofferwithgratitude。
Myinstincthadnotdeceivedme。ItlayinreadinessintheMall，and，inwhatseemeddevilishmockeryofourways，withalightedhead-lamp。Thered-whiskeredmanwenttothepointatonce，inamannerthatshowedhebadbeenthinkingoveritalldinnertime。
"Isay，Pansay，whatthedeucewasthematterwithyouthiseveningontheElysiumroad？"ThesuddennessofthequestionwrenchedananswerfrommebeforeIwasaware。
"That！。"saidI，pointingtoIt。
"ThatmaybeeitherD。T。orEyesforaughtIknow。Nowyoudon’tliquor。Isawasmuchatdinner，soitcan’tbeD。T。There’snothingwhateverwhereyou’repointing，thoughyou’resweatingandtremblingwithfrightlikeascaredpony。Therefore，I
concludethatit’sEyes。AndIoughttounderstandallaboutthem。
Comealonghomewithme。I’montheBlessingtonlowerroad。"
Tomyintensedelightthe’rickshawinsteadofwaitingforuskeptabouttwentyyardsahead-andthis，toowhetherwewalked，trotted，orcantered。InthecourseofthatlongnightrideIhadtoldmycompanionalmostasmuchasIhavetoldyouhere。
"Well，you’vespoiledoneofthebesttalesI’veeverlaidtongueto，"
saidhe，"butI’llforgiveyouforthesakeofwhatyou’vegonethrough。NowcomehomeanddowhatItellyou;andwhenI’vecuredyou，youngman，letthisbealessontoyoutosteerclearofwomenandindigestiblefoodtillthedayofyourdeath。"
The’rickshawkeptsteadyinfront;andmyred-whiskeredfriendseemedtoderivegreatpleasurefrommyaccountofitsexactwhereabouts。
"Eyes，Pansay-allEyes，Brain，andStomach。AndthegreatestofthesethreeisStomach。You’vetoomuchconceitedBrain，toolittleStomach，andthoroughlyunhealthyEyes。GetyourStomachstraightandtherestfollows。Andallthat’sFrenchforaliverpill。
I’lltakesolemedicalchargeofyoufromthishour！foryou’retoointerestingaphenomenontobepassedover。"
BythistimeweweredeepintheshadowoftheBlessingtonlowerroadandthe’rickshawcametoadeadstopunderapine-clad，over-hangingshalecliff。InstinctivelyIhaltedtoo，givingmyreason。Heatherleghrappedoutanoath。
’Now，ifyouthinkI’mgoingtospendacoldnightonthehillsideforthesakeofastomach-cum-Brain-cum-Eyeillusion……Lord，ha’mercy！What’sthat？"
Therewasamuffledreport，ablindingsmotherofdustjustinfrontofus，acrack，thenoiseofrentboughs，andabouttenyardsofthecliff-side-pines。，undergrowth，andall-sliddownintotheroadbelow，completelyblockingitup。Theuprootedtreesswayedandtotteredforamomentlikedrunkengiantsinthegloom，andthenfellproneamongtheirfellowswithathunderouscrash。Ourtwohorsesstoodmotionlessandsweatingwithfear。Assoonastherattleoffallingearthandstonehadsubsided，mycompanionmuttered：-"Man，ifwe’dgoneforwardweshouldhavebeentenfeetdeepinourgravesbynow。’Therearemorethingsinheavenandearth。’……Comehome，Pansay，andthankGod。Iwantapegbadly。"
WeretracedourwayovertheChurchRidge，andIarrivedatDr。
Heatherlegh’shouseshortlyaftermidnight。
Hisattemptstowardmycurecommencedalmostimmediately，andforaweekIneverlefthissight。ManyatimeinthecourseofthatweekdidIblessthegood-fortunewhichhadthrownmeincontactwithSimla’sbestandkindestdoctor。Daybydaymyspiritsgrewlighterandmoreequable。Daybyday，too，IbecamemoreandmoreinclinedtofallinwithHeatherlegh’s"spectralillusion"
theory，implicatingeyes，brain，andstomach。IwrotetoKitty，tellingherthataslightspraincausedbyafallfrommyhorsekeptmeindoorsforafewdays;andthatIshouldberecoveredbeforeshehadtimetoregretmyabsence。
Heatherlegh’streatmentwassimpletoadegree。Itconsistedofliverpills，cold-waterbaths，andstrongexercise，takenintheduskoratearlydawn-for，ashesagelyobserved：-"Amanwithasprainedankledoesn’twalkadozenmilesaday，andyouryoungwomanmightbewonderingifshesawyou。"
Attheendoftheweek，aftermuchexaminationofpupilandpulse，andstrictinjunction’astodietandpedestrianism，Heatherleghdismissedmeasbrusquelyashehadtakenchargeofme。Hereishispartingbenediction：-"Man，Icancertifytoyourmentalcure，andthat’sasmuchastosayI’vecuredmostofyourbodilyailments。Now，getyour’trapsoutofthisassoonasyoucan;andbeofftomakelovetoMissKitty。"
Iwasendeavoringtoexpressmythanksforhiskindness。Hecutmeshort。
"Don’tthinkIdidthisbecauseIlikeyou。Igatherthatyou’vebehavedlikeablackguardallthrough。But，allthesame，youreaphenomenon，andasqueeraphenomenonasyouareablackguard。
No！"-checkingmeasecondtime"notarupeeplease。Gooutandseeifyoucanfindtheeyes-brain-and-stomachbusinessagain。I’llgiveyoualakhforeachtimeyouseeit。"
HalfanhourlaterIwasintheMannerings’drawing-roomwithKitty-drunkwiththeintoxicationofpresenthappinessandthefore-knowledgethatIshouldnevermorebetroubledwithItshideouspresence。Stronginthesenseofmynew-foundsecurity，I
proposedarideatonce;and，bypreference，acanterroundJakko。
NeverhadIfeltsowell，sooverladenwithvitalityandmereanimalspirits，asIdidontheafternoonofthe30thofApril。Kittywasdelightedatthechangeinmyappearance，andcomplimentedmeonitinherdelightfullyfrankandoutspokenmanner。WelefttheMannerings’housetogether，laughingandtalking，andcanteredalongtheChotaSimlaroadasofold。
IwasinhastetoreachtheSanjowlieReservoirandtheremakemyassurancedoublysure。Thehorsesdidtheirbest，butseemedalltooslowtomyimpatientmind。Kittywasastonishedatmyboisterousness。"Why，Jack！"shecriedatlast，"youarebehavinglikeachild。Whatareyoudoing？"
WewerejustbelowtheConvent，andfromsheerwantonnessIwasmakingmyWalerplungeandcurvetacrosstheroadasItickleditwiththeloopofmyriding-whip。
"Doing？"Ianswered;"nothing，dear。That’sjustit。Ifyou’dbeendoingnothingforaweekexceptlieup，you’dbeasriotousasI。"
"’Singingandmurmuringinyourfeastfulmirth，Joyingtofeelyourselfalive;
LordoverNature，LordofthevisibleEarth，Lordofthesensesfive。’"
MyquotationwashardlyoutofmylipsbeforewehadroundedthecornerabovetheConvent;andafewyardsfurtheroncouldseeacrosstoSanjowlie。Inthecentreofthelevelroadstoodtheblackandwhiteliveries，theyellow-paneled’rickshaw，andMrs。
Keith-Wessington。Ipulledup，looked，rubbedmyeyes，and，I
believemusthavesaidsomething。ThenextthingIknewwasthatIwaslyingfacedownwardontheroadwithKittykneelingabovemeintears。
"Hasitgone，childI"Igasped。Kittyonlyweptmorebitterly。
"Haswhatgone，Jackdear？whatdoesitallmean？Theremustbeamistakesomewhere，Jack。Ahideousmistake。"Herlastwordsbroughtmetomyfeet-mad-ravingforthetimebeing。
"Yes，thereisamistakesomewhere，"Irepeated，"ahideousmistake。ComeandlookatIt。"
IhaveanindistinctideathatIdraggedKittybythewristalongtheroaduptowhereItstood，andimploredherforpity’ssaketospeaktoIt;totellItthatwewerebetrothed;thatneitherDeathnorHellcouldbreakthetiebetweenus;andKittyonlyknowshowmuchmoretothesameeffect。NowandagainIappealedpassionatelytotheTerrorinthe’rickshawtobearwitnesstoallIhadsaid，andtoreleasemefromatorturethatwaskillingme。AsItalkedIsupposeImusthavetoldKittyofmyoldrelationswithMrs。Wessington，forIsawherlistenintentlywithwhitefaceandblazingeyes。
"Thankyou，Mr。Pansay，"shesaid，"that’squiteenough。Syceghoralao。"
Thesyces，impassiveasOrientalsalwaysare，hadcomeupwiththerecapturedhorses;andasKittysprangintohersaddleIcaughtholdofthebridle，entreatinghertohearmeoutandforgive。Myanswerwasthecutofherriding-whipacrossmyfacefrommouthtoeye，andawordortwooffarewellthatevennowIcannotwritedown。SoIjudged，andjudgedrightly，thatKittyknewall;andI
staggeredbacktothesideofthe’rickshaw。Myfacewascutandbleeding，andtheblowoftheriding-whiphadraisedalividbluewhealonit。Ihadnoself-respect。Justthen，Heatherlegh，whomusthavebeenfollowingKittyandmeatadistance，canteredup。
"Doctor，"Isaid，pointingtomyface，"here’sMissMannering’ssignaturetomyorderofdismissaland……I’llthankyouforthatlakhassoonasconvenient。"
Heatherlegh’sface，eveninmyabjectmisery，movedmetolaughter。
"I’llstakemyprofessionalreputation"-
hebegan。"Don’tbeafool，"Iwhispered。"I’velostmylife’shappinessandyou’dbettertakemehome。"
AsIspokethe’rickshawwasgone。ThenIlostallknowledgeofwhatwaspassing。ThecrestofJakkoseemedtoheaveandrolllikethecrestofacloudandfallinuponme。
Sevendayslater（onthe7thofMay，thatistosay）IwasawarethatIwaslyinginHeatherlegh’sroomasweakasalittlechild。
Heatherleghwaswatchingmeintentlyfrombehindthepapersonhiswriting-table。Hisfirstwordswerenotencouraging;butIwastoofarspenttobemuchmovedbythem。
"Here’sMissKittyhassentbackyourletters。Youcorrespondedagooddeal，youyoungpeople。Here’sapacketthatlookslikearing，andacheerfulsortofanotefromManneringPapa，whichI’vetakenthelibertyofreadingandburning。Theoldgentleman’snotpleasedwithyou。"
"AndKitty？"Iasked，dully。
"Rathermoredrawnthanherfatherfromwhatshesays。Bythesametokenyoumusthavebeenlettingoutanynumberofqueerreminiscencesjustbe。foreImetyou。’SaysthatamanwhowouldhavebehavedtoawomanasyoudidtoMrs。Wessingtonoughttokillhimselfoutofsheerpityforhiskind。She’sahot-headedlittlevirago，yourmash。’WillhaveittoothatyouweresufferingfromD。T。whenthatrowontheJakkoroadturnedup。’Saysshe’lldiebeforesheeverspeakstoyouagain。"
Igroanedandturnedovertotheotherside。
"Nowyou’vegotyourchoice，myfriend。Thisengagementhastobebrokenoff;andtheManneringsdon’twanttobetoohardonyou。WasitbrokenthroughD。T。orepilepticfits？SorryIcan’tofferyouabetterexchangeunlessyou’dpreferhereditaryinsanity。
SaythewordandI’lltell’emit~sfits。AllSimlaknowsaboutthatsceneontheLadies’Mile。Come！I’llgiveyoufiveminutestothinkoverit。"
DuringthosefiveminutesIbelievethatIexploredthoroughlythelowestcirclesoftheInfernowhichitispermittedmantotreadonearth。AndatthesametimeImyselfwaswatchingmyselffalteringthroughthedarklabyrinthsofdoubt，misery，andutterdespair。I
wondered，asHeatherleghinhischairmighthavewondered，whichdreadfulalternativeIshouldadopt。PresentlyIheardmyselfansweringinavoicethatIhardlyrecognized，-"They’reconfoundedlyparticularaboutmoralityintheseparts。Give’emfits，Heatherlegh，andmylove。Nowletmesleepabitlonger。"
Thenmytwoselvesjoined，anditwasonlyI（halfcrazed，devil-drivenI）thattossedinmybed，tracingstepbystepthehistoryofthepastmonth。
"ButIaminSimla，"Ikeptrepeatingtomyself。"I，JackPansay，aminSimlaandtherearenoghostshere。It’sunreasonableofthatwomantopretendthereare。Whycouldn’tAgneshaveleftmealone？Ineverdidheranyharm。ItmightjustaswellhavebeenmeasAgnes。OnlyI’dneverhavecomehackonpurposetokillher。Whycan’tIbeleftalone-leftaloneandhappy？"
ItwashighnoonwhenIfirstawoke：
andthesunwaslowintheskybeforeIslept-sleptasthetorturedcriminalsleepsonhisrack，tooworntofeelfurtherpain。
NextdayIcouldnotleavemybed。HeatherleghtoldmeinthemorningthathehadreceivedananswerfromMr。Mannering，andthat，thankstohis（Heatherlegh’s）friendlyoffices，thestoryofmyafflictionhadtraveledthroughthelengthandbreadthofSimla，whereIwasonallsidesmuchpitied。
"Andthat’srathermorethanyoudeserve，’heconcluded，pleasantly，"thoughtheLordknowsyou’vebeengoingthroughaprettyseveremill。Nevermind;we’llcureyouyet，youperversephenomenon。"
Ideclinedfirmlytobecured。"You’vebeenmuchtoogoodtomealready，oldman，"saidI;"butIdon’tthinkIneedtroubleyoufurther。"
InmyheartIknewthatnothingHeatherleghcoulddowouldlightentheburdenthathadbeenlaiduponme。
Withthatknowledgecamealsoasenseofhopeless，impotentrebellionagainsttheunreasonablenessofitall。TherewerescoresofmennobetterthanIwhosepunishmentshadatleastbeenreservedforanotherworld;andIfeltthatitwasbitterly，cruellyunfairthatIaloneshouldhavebeensingledoutforsohideousafate。Thismoodwouldintimegiveplacetoanotherwhereitseemedthatthe’rickshawandIweretheonlyrealitiesinaworldofshadows;thatKittywasaghost;thatMannering，Heatherlegh，andalltheothermenandwomenIknewwereallghosts;andthegreat，greyhillsthemselvesbutvainshadowsdevisedtotortureme。FrommoodtomoodItossedbackwardandforwardforsevenwearydays;mybodygrowingdailystrongerandstrong-er，untilthebedroomlooking-glasstoldmethatIhadreturnedtoeverydaylife，andwasasothermenoncemore。CuriouslyenoughmyfaceshowednosignsofthestruggleIhadgonethrough。Itwaspaleindeed，butasexpression-lessandcommonplaceasever。Ihadexpectedsomepermanentalteration-visibleevidenceofthediseasethatwaseatingmeaway。Ifoundnothing。
Onthe15thofMay，IleftHeatherlegh’shouseateleveno’clockinthemorning;andtheinstinctofthebachelordrovemetotheClub。
ThereIfoundthateverymanknewmystoryastoldbyHeatherlegh，andwas，inclumsyfashion，abnormallykindandattentive。NeverthelessIrecognizedthatfortherestofmynaturallifeIshouldbeamongbutnotofmyfellows;andIenviedverybitterlyindeedthelaughingcooliesontheMallbelow。IlunchedattheClub，andatfouro’clockwanderedaimlesslydowntheMallinthevaguehopeofmeetingKitty。ClosetotheBand-standtheblackandwhiteliveriesjoinedme;andIheardMrs。Wessington’soldappealatmyside。IhadbeenexpectingthiseversinceIcameout;andwasonlysurprisedatherdelay。Thephantom’rickshawandIwentsidebysidealongtheChotaSimlaroadinsilence。
Closetothebazar，Kittyandamanonhorsebackovertookandpassedus。ForanysignshegaveImighthavebeenadogintheroad。Shedidnotevenpaymethecomplimentofquickeningherpace;thoughtherainyafternoonhadservedforanexcuse。
SoKittyandhercompanion，andIandmyghostlyLight-o’-Love，creptroundJakkoincouples。Theroadwasstreamingwithwater;
thepinesdrippedlikeroof-pipesontherocksbelow，andtheairwasfulloffine，drivingrain。TwoorthreetimesIfoundmyselfsayingtomyselfalmostaloud："I’mJackPan-sayonleaveatSimla~atSimla！Everyday，ordinarySimla。Imustn’tforgetthat-I
mustn’tforgetthat。"ThenIwouldtrytorecollectsomeofthegossipIhadheardattheClub：thepricesofSo-and-So’shorses-anything，infact，thatrelatedtotheworkadayAnglo-IndianworldIknewsowell。Ievenrepeatedthemultiplication-tablerapidlytomyself，tomakequitesurethatIwasnottakingleaveofmysenses。Itgavememuchcomfort;andmusthavepreventedmyhearingMrs。Wessingtonforatime。
OncemoreIwearilyclimbedtheConventslopeandenteredthel~
velroad。HereKittyandthemanstartedoffatacanter，andIwasleftalonewithMrs。Wessington。"Agnes，"saidI，"willyouputbackyourhoodandtellmewhatitallmeans？"Thehooddroppednoiselessly，andIwasfacetofacewithmydeadandburiedmistress。ShewaswearingthedressinwhichIhadlastseenheralive;carriedthesametinyhandkerchiefinherrighthand;andthesamecardcaseinherleft。（Awomaneightmonthsdeadwithacardcase！）Ihadtopinmyselfdowntothemultiplication-table，andtosetbothhandsonthestoneparapetoftheroad，toassuremyselfthatthatatleastwasreal。
"Agnes，"Irepeated，"forpity’ssaketellmewhatitallmeans。"
Mrs。Wessingtonleanedforward，withthatodd，quickturnoftheheadIusedtoknowsowell，andspoke。
IfmystoryhadnotalreadysomadlyoverleapedthehoundsofallhumanbeliefIshouldapologizetoyounow。AsIknowthatnoone-no，notevenKitty，forwhomitiswrittenassomesortofjustificationofmyconduct-willbelieveme，Iwillgoon。Mrs。
WessingtonspokeandIwalkedwithherfromtheSanjowlieroadtotheturningbelowtheCommander-in-Chief’shouseasImightwalkbythesideofanylivingwoman’s’rickshaw，deepinconversation。Thesecondandmosttormentingofmymoodsofsicknesshadsuddenlylaidholduponme，andlikethePrinceinTennyson’spoem，"Iseemedtomoveamidaworldofghosts。"
Therehadbeenagarden-partyattheCommander-in-Chief’s，andwetwojoinedthecrowdofhomeward-houndfolk。AsIsawthemthenitseemedthattheyweretheshadows-impalpable，fantasticshadows-thatdividedforMrs。Wessington’s’rickshawtopassthrough。WhatwesaidduringthecourseofthatweirdinterviewI
cannot-indeed，Idarenot-tell。Heatherlegh’scommentwouldhavebeenashortlaughandaremarkthatIhadbeen"mashingabrain-eye-and-stomachchimera。"Itwasaghastlyandyetinsomeindefinablewayamarvelouslydearexperience。Coulditbepossible，Iwondered，thatIwasinthislifetowooasecondtimethewomanIhadkilledbymyownneglectandcruelty？
ImetKittyonthehomewardroad-ashadowamongshadows。
IfIweretodescribealltheincidentsofthenextfortnightintheirorder，mystorywouldnevercometoanend;andyourpatiencewouldheexhausted。Morningaftermorningandeveningaftereveningtheghostly’rickshawandIusedtowanderthroughSimlatogether。WhereverIwenttherethefourblackandwhiteliveriesfollowedmeandboremecompanytoandfrommyhotel。AttheTheatreIfoundthemamidthecrowdoryellingjhampanies;
outsidetheClubveranda，afteralongeveningofwhist;attheBirthdayBall，waitingpatientlyformyreappearance;andinbroaddaylightwhenIwentcalling。Savethatitcastnoshadow，the’rickshawwasineveryrespectasrealtolookuponasoneofwoodandiron。Morethanonce，indeed，Ihavehadtocheckmyselffrontwarningsomehard-ridingfriendagainstcanteringoverit。MorethanonceIhavewalkeddowntheMalldeepinconversationwithMrs。Wessingtontotheunspeakableamazementofthepassers-by。
BeforeIhadbeenoutandaboutaweekIlearnedthatthe"fit"
theoryhadbeendiscardedinfavorofinsanity。However，Imadenochangeinmymodeoflife。Icalled，rode，anddinedoutasfreelyasever。IhadapassionforthesocietyofmykindwhichI
hadneverfeltbefore;Ihungeredtobeamongtherealitiesoflife;
andatthesametimeIfeltvaguelyunhappywhenIhadbeenseparatedtoolongfrommyghostlycompanion。Itwouldbealmostimpossibletodescribemyvaryingmoodsfromthe15thofMayuptoto-day。
Thepresenceofthe’rickshawfilledmebyturnswithhorror，blindfear，adimsortofpleasure，andutterdespair。IdarednotleaveSimla;andIknewthatmystaytherewaskillingme。Iknew，moreover，thatitwasmydestinytodieslowlyandalittleeveryday。Myonlyanxietywastogetthepenanceoverasquietlyasmightbe。AlternatelyIhungeredforasightofKittyandwatchedheroutrageousflirtationswithmysuccessor-tospeakmoreaccurately，mysuccessors-withamusedinterest。ShewasasmuchoutofmylifeasIwasoutofhers。BydayIwanderedwithMrs。
Wessingtonalmostcontent。BynightIimploredHeaventoletmereturntotheworldasIusedtoknowit。Aboveallthesevaryingmoodslaythesensationofdull，numbingwonderthattheSeenandtheUnseenshouldminglesostrangelyonthisearthtohoundonepoorsoultoitsgrave。
*********
August27-Heatherleghhasbeenindefatigableinhisattendanceonme;andonlyyesterdaytoldmethatIoughttosendinanapplicationforsickleave。Anapplicationtoescapethecompanyofaphantom！ArequestthattheGovernmentwouldgraciouslypermitmetogetridoffiveghostsandanairy’rickshawbygoingtoEngland。Heatherlegh’spropositionmovedmetoalmosthystericallaughter。ItoldhimthatIshouldawaittheendquietlyatSimla;andIamsurethattheendisnotfaroff。BelievemethatI
dreaditsadventmorethananywordcansay;andItorturemyselfnightlywithathousandspeculationsastothemannerofmydeath。
ShallIdieinmybeddecentlyandasanEnglishgentlemanshoulddie;or，inonelastwalkontheMall，willmysoulbewrenchedfrommetotakeitsplaceforeverandeverbythesideofthatghastlyphantasm？ShallIreturntomyoldlostallegianceinthenextworld，orshallImeetAgnesloathingherandboundtohersidethroughalleternity？ShallwetwohoveroverthesceneofourlivestilltheendofTime？Asthedayofmydeathdrawsnearer，theintensehorrorthatalllivingfleshfeelstowardescapedspiritsfrombeyondthegravegrowsmoreandmorepowerful。Itisanawfulthingtogodownquickamongthedeadwithscarcelyone-halfofyourlifecompleted。ItisathousandtimesmoreawfultowaitasIdoinyourmidst，forIknownotwhatunimaginableterror。Pityme，atleastonthescoreofmy"delusion，"forI
knowyouwillneverbelievewhatIhavewrittenhereYetassurelyaseveramanwasdonetodeathbythePowersofDarknessIamthatman。
Injustice，too，pityher。Forassurelyaseverwomanwaskilledbyman，IkilledMrs。Wessington。Andthelastportionofmypunishmentisevernowuponme。
MYOWNTRUEGHOSTSTORY
AsIcamethroughtheDesertthusitwas——
AsIcamethroughtheDesert。
TheCityofDreadfulNight。
SomewhereintheOtherWorld，wheretherearebooksandpicturesandplaysandshopwindowstolookat，andthousandsofmenwhospendtheirlivesinbuildingupallfour，livesagentlemanwhowritesrealstoriesabouttherealinsidesofpeople;
andhisnameisMr。WalterBesant。Buthewillinsistupontreatinghisghostshehaspublishedhalfaworkshopfulofthem——
withlevity。Hemakeshisghost-seerstalkfamiliarly，and，insomecases，flirtoutrageously，withthephantoms。Youmaytreatanything，fromaViceroytoaVernacularPaper，withlevity;butyoumustbehavereverentlytowardaghost，andparticularlyanIndianone。
Thereare，inthisland，ghostswhotaketheformoffat，cold，pobbycorpses，andhideintreesneartheroadsidetillatravelerpasses。Thentheydropuponhisneckandremain。Therearealsoterribleghostsofwomenwhohavediedinchild-bed。Thesewanderalongthepathwaysatdusk，orhideinthecropsnearavillage，andcallseductively。Buttoanswertheircallisdeathinthisworldandthenext。Theirfeetareturnedbackwardthatallsobermenmayrecognizethem。Thereareghostsoflittlechildrenwhohavebeenthrownintowells。Thesehauntwellcurbsandthefringesofjungles，andwailunderthestars，orcatchwomenbythewristandbegtobetakenupandcarried。Theseandthecorpseghosts，however，areonlyvernaculararticlesanddonotattackSahibs。NonativeghosthasyetbeenauthenticallyreportedtohavefrightenedanEnglishman;butmanyEnglishghostshavescaredthelifeoutofbothwhiteandblack。
NearlyeveryotherStationownsaghost。TherearesaidtobetwoatSimla，notcountingthewomanwhoblowsthebellowsatSyreedak-bungalowontheOldRoad;MussooriehasahousehauntedofaverylivelyThing;aWhiteLadyissupposedtodonight-
watchmanroundahouseinLahore;Dalhousiesaysthatoneofherhouses"repeats"onautumneveningsalltheincidentsofahorriblehorse-and-precipiceaccident;Murreehasamerryghost，and，nowthatshehasbeensweptbycholera，willhaveroomforasorrowfulone;thereareOfficers’QuartersinMianMirwhosedoorsopenwithoutreason，andwhosefurnitureisguaranteedtocreak，notwiththeheatofJunebutwiththeweightofInvisibleswhocometoloungeinthechairs;Peshawurpossesseshousesthatnonewillwillinglyrent;andthereissomething——notfever——wrongwithabigbungalowinAllahabad。TheolderProvincessimplybristlewithhauntedhouses，andmarchphantomarmiesalongtheirmainthoroughfares。
Someofthedak-bungalowsontheGrandTrunkRoadhavehandylittlecemeteriesintheircompound——witnessestothe"changesandchancesofthismortallife"inthedayswhenmendrovefromCalcuttatotheNorthwest。Thesebungalowsareobjectionableplacestoputupin。Theyaregenerallyveryold，alwaysdirty，whilethekhansamahisasancientasthebungalow。Heeitherchatterssenilely，orfallsintothelongtrancesofage。Inbothmoodsheisuseless。Ifyougetangrywithhim，hereferstosomeSahibdeadandburiedthesethirtyyears，andsaysthatwhenhewasinthatSahib’sservicenotakhansamahintheProvincecouldtouchhim。Thenhejabbersandmowsandtremblesandfidgetsamongthedishes，andyourepentofyourirritation。
Inthesedak-bungalows，ghostsaremostlikelytobefound，andwhenfound，theyshouldbemadeanoteof。Notlongagoitwasmybusinesstoliveindak-bungalows。Ineverinhabitedthesamehouseforthreenightsrunning，andgrewtobelearnedinthebreed。
IlivedinGovernment-builtoneswithredbrickwallsandrailceilings，aninventoryofthefurniturepostedineveryroom，andanexcitedsnakeatthethresholdtogivewelcome。Ilivedin"converted"ones——oldhousesofficiatingasdak-bungalows——wherenothingwasinitsproperplaceandtherewasn’tevenafowlfordinner。Ilivedinsecond-handpalaceswherethewindblewthroughopen-workmarbletraceryjustasuncomfortablyasthroughabrokenpane。Ilivedindak-bungalowswherethelastentryinthevisitors’bookwasfifteenmonthsold，andwheretheyslashedoffthecurry-kid’sheadwithasword。Itwasmygoodlucktomeetallsortsofmen，fromsobertravelingmissionariesanddesertersflyingfromBritishRegiments，todrunkenloaferswhothrewwhiskybottlesatallwhopassed;andmystillgreatergoodfortunejusttoescapeamaternitycase。Seeingthatafairproportionofthetragedyofourlivesouthereacteditselfindak-
bungalows，IwonderedthatIhadmetnoghosts。Aghostthatwouldvoluntarilyhangaboutadak-bungalowwouldbemadofcourse;butsomanymenhavediedmadindak-bungalowsthattheremustbeafairpercentageoflunaticghosts。
InduetimeIfoundmyghost，orghostsrather，forthereweretwoofthem。UptillthathourIhadsympathizedwithMr。Besant’smethodofhandlingthem，asshownin"TheStrangeCaseofMr。
LucraftandOtherStories。"IamnowintheOpposition。
WewillcallthebungalowKatmaldak-bungalow。ButTHATwasthesmallestpartofthehorror。Amanwithasensitivehidehasnorighttosleepindak-bungalows。Heshouldmarry。Katmaldak-
bungalowwasoldandrottenandunrepaired。Thefloorwasofwornbrick，thewallswerefilthy，andthewindowswerenearlyblackwithgrime。ItstoodonabypathlargelyusedbynativeSub-
DeputyAssistantsofallkinds，fromFinancetoForests;butrealSahibswererare。Thekhansamah，whowasnearlybentdoublewitholdage，saidso。
WhenIarrived，therewasafitful，undecidedrainonthefaceoftheland，accompaniedbyarestlesswind，andeverygustmadeanoiseliketherattlingofdrybonesinthestifftoddypalmsoutside。
Thekhansamahcompletelylosthisheadonmyarrival。HehadservedaSahibonce。DidIknowthatSahib？Hegavemethenameofawell-knownmanwhohasbeenburiedformorethanaquarterofacentury，andshowedmeanancientdaguerreotypeofthatmaninhisprehistoricyouth。IhadseenasteelengravingofhimattheheadofadoublevolumeofMemoirsamonthbefore，andIfeltancientbeyondtelling。
Thedayshutinandthekhansamahwenttogetmefood。Hedidnotgothroughthepretenseofcallingit"khana"——man’svictuals。
Hesaid"ratub，"andthatmeans，amongotherthings，"grub"——dog’srations。Therewasnoinsultinhischoiceoftheterm。Hehadforgottentheotherword，Isuppose。
Whilehewascuttingupthedeadbodiesofanimals，Isettledmyselfdown，afterexploringthedak-bungalow。Therewerethreerooms，besidemyown，whichwasacornerkennel，eachgivingintotheotherthroughdingywhitedoorsfastenedwithlongironbars。Thebungalowwasaverysolidone，butthepartitionwallsoftheroomswerealmostjerry-builtintheirflimsiness。Everysteporbangofatrunkechoedfrommyroomdowntheotherthree，andeveryfootfallcamebacktremulouslyfromthefarwalls。ForthisreasonIshutthedoor。Therewerenolamps——onlycandlesinlongglassshades。Anoilwickwassetinthebathroom。
Forbleak，unadulteratedmiserythatdak-bungalowwastheworstofthemanythatIhadeversetfootin。Therewasnofireplace，andthewindowswouldnotopen;soabrazierofcharcoalwouldhavebeenuseless。Therainandthewindsplashedandgurgledandmoanedroundthehouse，andthetoddypalmsrattledandroared。
Halfadozenjackalswentthroughthecompoundsinging，andahyenastoodafaroffandmockedthem。AhyenawouldconvinceaSadduceeoftheResurrectionoftheDead——theworstsortofDead。
Thencametheratub——acuriousmeal，halfnativeandhalfEnglishincomposition——withtheoldkhansamahbabblingbehindmychairaboutdeadandgoneEnglishpeople，andthewind-blowncandlesplayingshadow-bo-peepwiththebedandthemosquito-curtains。
Itwasjustthesortofdinnerandeveningtomakeamanthinkofeverysingleoneofhispastsins，andofalltheothersthatheintendedtocommitifhelived。
Sleep，forseveralhundredreasons，wasnoteasy。Thelampinthebath-roomthrewthemostabsurdshadowsintotheroom，andthewindwasbeginningtotalknonsense。
Justwhenthereasonsweredrowsywithblood-suckingIheardtheregular——"Let——us——take——and——heave——him——over"gruntofdoolie-
bearersinthecompound。Firstonedooliecamein，thenasecond，andthenathird。Iheardthedooliesdumpedontheground，andtheshutterinfrontofmydoorshook。"That’ssomeonetryingtocomein，"Isaid。Butnoonespoke，andIpersuadedmyselfthatitwasthegustywind。Theshutteroftheroomnexttominewasattacked，flungback，andtheinnerdooropened。"That’ssomeSub-DeputyAssistant，"Isaid，"andhehasbroughthisfriendswithhim。Nowthey’lltalkandspitandsmokeforanhour。"
Buttherewerenovoicesandnofootsteps。Noonewasputtinghisluggageintothenextroom。Thedoorshut，andIthankedProvidencethatIwastobeleftinpeace。ButIwascurioustoknowwherethedoolieshadgone。Igotoutofbedandlookedintothedarkness。Therewasneverasignofadoolie。JustasIwasgettingintobedagain，Iheard，inthenextroom，thesoundthatnomaninhissensescanpossiblymistake——thewhirofabilliardballdownthelengthoftheslateswhenthestrikerisstringingforbreak。Noothersoundislikeit。Aminuteafterwardstherewasanotherwhir，andIgotintobed。Iwasnotfrightened——indeedI
wasnot。Iwasverycurioustoknowwhathadbecomeofthedoolies。Ijumpedintobedforthatreason。
NextminuteIheardthedoubleclickofacannonandmyhairsatup。Itisamistaketosaythathairstandsup。Theskinoftheheadtightensandyoucanfeelafaint，prickly，bristlingalloverthescalp。Thatisthehairsittingup。
Therewasawhirandaclick，andbothsoundscouldonlyhavebeenmadebyonething——abilliardball。Iarguedthematteroutatgreatlengthwithmyself;andthemoreIarguedthelessprobableitseemedthatonebed，onetable，andtwochairs——allthefurnitureoftheroomnexttomine——couldsoexactlyduplicatethesoundsofagameofbilliards。Afteranothercannon，athree-cushiononetojudgebythewhir，Iarguednomore。Ihadfoundmyghostandwouldhavegivenworldstohaveescapedfromthatdak-
bungalow。Ilistened，andwitheachlistenthegamegrewclearer。
Therewaswhironwhirandclickonclick。Sometimestherewasadoubleclickandawhirandanotherclick。Beyondanysortofdoubt，peoplewereplayingbilliardsinthenextroom。Andthenextroomwasnotbigenoughtoholdabilliardtable！
BetweenthepausesofthewindIheardthegamegoforward——
strokeafterstroke。ItriedtobelievethatIcouldnothearvoices;
butthatattemptwasafailure。
Doyouknowwhatfearis？Notordinaryfearofinsult，injuryordeath，butabject，quiveringdreadofsomethingthatyoucannotsee——fearthatdriestheinsideofthemouthandhalfofthethroat——
fearthatmakesyousweatonthepalmsofthehands，andgulpinordertokeeptheuvulaatwork？ThisisafineFear——agreatcowardice，andmustbefelttobeappreciated。Theveryimprobabilityofbilliardsinadak-bungalowprovedtherealityofthething。Noman——drunkorsober——couldimagineagameatbilliards，orinventthespittingcrackofa"screw-cannon。"
Aseverecourseofdak-bungalowshasthisdisadvantage——itbreedsinfinitecredulity。Ifamansaidtoaconfirmeddak-bungalow-
haunter：——"Thereisacorpseinthenextroom，andthere’samadgirlinthenextbutone，andthewomanandmanonthatcamelhavejustelopedfromaplacesixtymilesaway，"thehearerwouldnotdisbelievebecausehewouldknowthatnothingistoowild，grotesque，orhorribletohappeninadak-bungalow。
Thiscredulity，unfortunately，extendstoghosts。Arationalpersonfreshfromhisownhousewouldhaveturnedonhissideandslept。
Ididnot。SosurelyasIwasgivenupasabadcarcassbythescoresofthingsinthebedbecausethebulkofmybloodwasinmyheart，sosurelydidIheareverystrokeofalonggameatbilliardsplayedintheechoingroombehindtheiron-barreddoor。Mydominantfearwasthattheplayersmightwantamarker。Itwasanabsurdfear;becausecreatureswhocouldplayinthedarkwouldbeabovesuchsuperfluities。Ionlyknowthatthatwasmyterror;
anditwasreal。
Afteralong，longwhilethegamestopped，andthedoorbanged。I
sleptbecauseIwasdeadtired。OtherwiseIshouldhavepreferredtohavekeptawake。NotforeverythinginAsiawouldIhavedroppedthedoor-barandpeeredintothedarkofthenextroom。
Whenthemorningcame，IconsideredthatIhaddonewellandwisely，andinquiredforthemeansofdeparture。
"Bytheway，khansamah，"Isaid，"whatwerethosethreedooliesdoinginmycompoundinthenight？"
"Therewerenodoolies，"saidthekhansamah。
Iwentintothenextroomandthedaylightstreamedthroughtheopendoor。Iwasimmenselybrave。Iwould，atthathour，haveplayedBlackPoolwiththeownerofthebigBlackPooldownbelow。
"Hasthisplacealwaysbeenadak-bungalow？"Iasked。
"No，"saidthekhansamah。"Tenortwentyyearsago，Ihaveforgottenhowlong，itwasabilliardroom。"
"Ahowmuch？"
"AbilliardroomfortheSahibswhobuilttheRailway。IwaskhansamahtheninthebighousewherealltheRailway-Sahibslived，andIusedtocomeacrosswithbrandy-shrab。Thesethreeroomswereallone，andtheyheldabigtableonwhichtheSahibsplayedeveryevening。ButtheSahibsarealldeadnow，andtheRailwayruns，yousay，nearlytoKabul。"
"DoyourememberanythingabouttheSahibs？"
"Itislongago，butIrememberthatoneSahib，afatmanandalwaysangry，wasplayinghereonenight，andhesaidtome：——
’MangalKhan，brandy-panido，’andIfilledtheglass，andhebentoverthetabletostrike，andhisheadfelllowerandlowertillithitthetable，andhisspectaclescameoff，andwhenwe——theSahibsandImyself——rantolifthimhewasdead。Ihelpedtocarryhimout。Aha，hewasastrongSahib！ButheisdeadandI，oldMangalKhan，amstillliving，byyourfavor。"
Thatwasmorethanenough！Ihadmyghost——afirsthand，authenticatedarticle。IwouldwritetotheSocietyforPsychicalResearch——IwouldparalyzetheEmpirewiththenews！ButI
would，firstofall，puteightymilesofassessedcroplandbetweenmyselfandthatdak-bungalowbeforenightfall。TheSocietymightsendtheirregularagenttoinvestigatelateron。
Iwentintomyownroomandpreparedtopackafternotingdownthefactsofthecase。AsIsmokedIheardthegamebeginagain，——
withamissinbalkthistime，forthewhirwasashortone。
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