THEORIENT

CONTENTS

THEMANWHOWOULDBEKING，RudyardKiplingTAJIMA，MissMitfordACHINESEGIRLGRADUATE，R。K。DouglasTHEREVENGEOFHERRACE，MaryBeaumontKINGBILLYOFBALLARAT，MorleyRobertsTHYHEART’SDESIRE，NettaSyrettTHEMANWHOWOULDBEKING

BrothertoaPrinceandfellowtoabeggarifhebefoundworthyBY

RUDYARDKIPLING

TheLaw，asquoted，laysdownafairconductoflife，andonenoteasytofollow。Ihavebeenfellowtoabeggaragainandagainundercircumstanceswhichpreventedeitherofusfindingoutwhethertheotherwasworthy。IhavestilltobebrothertoaPrince，thoughI

oncecameneartokinshipwithwhatmighthavebeenaveritableKing，andwaspromisedthereversionofaKingdom——army，law-courts，revenue，andpolicyallcomplete。But，to-day，IgreatlyfearthatmyKingisdead，andifIwantacrownImustgohuntitformyself。

Thebeginningofeverythingwasinarailway-trainupontheroadtoMhowfromAjmir。TherehadbeenaDeficitintheBudget，whichnecessitatedtravelling，notSecond-class，whichisonlyhalfasdearasFirst-Class，butbyIntermediate，whichisveryawfulindeed。TherearenocushionsintheIntermediateclass，andthepopulationareeitherIntermediate，whichisEurasian，ornative，whichforalongnightjourneyisnasty，orLoafer，whichisamusingthoughintoxicated。Intermediatesdonotbuyfromrefreshment-rooms。Theycarrytheirfoodinbundlesandpots，andbuysweetsfromthenativesweetmeat-sellers，anddrinktheroadsidewater。ThisiswhyinhotweatherIntermediatesaretakenoutofthecarriagesdead，andinallweathersaremostproperlylookeddownupon。

MyparticularIntermediatehappenedtobeemptytillIreachedNasirabad，whenthebigblack-browedgentlemaninshirt-sleevesentered，and，followingthecustomofIntermediates，passedthetimeofday。Hewasawandererandavagabondlikemyself，butwithaneducatedtasteforwhisky。Hetoldtalesofthingshehadseenanddone，ofout-of-the-waycornersoftheEmpireintowhichhehadpenetrated，andofadventuresinwhichheriskedhislifeforafewdays’food。

"IfIndiawasfilledwithmenlikeyouandme，notknowingmorethanthecrowswherethey’dgettheirnextday’srations，itisn’tseventymillionsofrevenuethelandwouldbepaying——it’ssevenhundredmillions，"saidhe;andasIlookedathismouthandchinIwasdisposedtoagreewithhim。

Wetalkedpolitics，——thepoliticsofLoaferdomthatseesthingsfromtheundersidewherethelathandplasterisnotsmoothedoff，——andwetalkedpostalarrangementsbecausemyfriendwantedtosendatelegrambackfromthenextstationtoAjmir，theturning-offplacefromtheBombaytotheMhowlineasyoutravelwestward。Myfriendhadnomoneybeyondeightannaswhichhewantedfordinner，andIhadnomoneyatall，owingtothehitchintheBudgetbeforementioned。Further，Iwasgoingintoawildernesswhere，thoughIshouldresumetouchwiththeTreasury，therewerenotelegraphoffices。Iwas，therefore，unabletohelphiminanyway。

"WemightthreatenaStation-master，andmakehimsendawireontick，"saidmyfriend，"butthat’dmeaninquiriesforyouandforme，and/I/’vegotmyhandsfullthesedays。Didyousayyouweretravellingbackalongthislinewithinanydays？"

"Withinten，"Isaid。

"Can’tyoumakeiteight？"saidhe。"Mineisratherurgentbusiness。"

"Icansendyourtelegramswithintendaysifthatwillserveyou，"I

said。

"Icouldn’ttrustthewiretofetchhim，nowIthinkofit。It’sthisway。HeleavesDelhionthe23rdforBombay。Thatmeanshe’llberunningthroughAjmiraboutthenightofthe23rd。"

"ButI’mgoingintotheIndianDesert，"Iexplained。

"Well/and/good，"saidhe。"You’llbechangingatMarwarJunctiontogetintoJodhporeterritory，——youmustdothat，——andhe’llbecomingthroughMarwarJunctionintheearlymorningofthe24thbytheBombayMail。CanyoubeatMarwarJunctiononthattime？’Twon’tbeinconveniencingyou，becauseIknowthatthere’spreciousfewpickingstobegotoutoftheseCentralIndiaStates——eventhoughyoupretendtobecorrespondentofthe’Backwoodsman。’"

"Haveyouevertriedthattrick？"Iasked。

"Againandagain，buttheResidentsfindyouout，andthenyougetescortedtotheBorderbeforeyou’vetimetogetyourknifeintothem。

Butaboutmyfriendhere。I/must/givehimawordo’mouthtotellhimwhat’scometome，orelsehewon’tknowwheretogo。IwouldtakeitmorethankindofyouifyouwastocomeoutofCentralIndiaintimetocatchhimatMarwarJunction，andsaytohim，’HehasgoneSouthfortheweek。’He’llknowwhatthatmeans。He’sabigmanwitharedbeard，andagreatswellheis。You’llfindhimsleepinglikeagentlemanwithallhisluggageroundhiminaSecond-classapartment。

Butdon’tyoubeafraid。Slipdownthewindowandsay，’HehasgoneSouthfortheweek，’andhe’lltumble。It’sonlycuttingyourtimeofstayinthosepartsbytwodays。Iaskyouasastranger——goingtotheWest，"hesaid，withemphasis。

"Wherehave/you/comefrom？"saidI。

"FromtheEast，"saidhe，"andIamhopingthatyouwillgivehimthemessageontheSquare——forthesakeofmyMotheraswellasyourown。"

Englishmenarenotusuallysoftenedbyappealstothememoryoftheirmothers;butforcertainreasons，whichwillbefullyapparent，Isawfittoagree。

"It’smorethanalittlematter，"saidhe，"andthat’swhyIaskedyoutodoit——andnowIknowthatIcandependonyoudoingit。ASecond-

classcarriageatMarwarJunction，andared-hairedmanasleepinit。

You’llbesuretoremember。Igetoutatthenextstation，andImustholdontheretillhecomesorsendsmewhatIwant。"

"I’llgivethemessageifIcatchhim，"Isaid，"andforthesakeofyourMotheraswellasmineI’llgiveyouawordofadvice。Don’ttrytoruntheCentralIndiaStatesjustnowasthecorrespondentofthe’Backwoodsman。’There’sarealoneknockingabouthere，anditmightleadtotrouble。"

"Thankyou，"saidhe，simply;"andwhenwilltheswinebegone？I

can’tstarvebecausehe’sruiningmywork。IwantedtogetholdoftheDegumberRajahdownhereabouthisfather’swidow，andgivehimajump。"

"Whatdidhedotohisfather’swidow，then？"

"Filledherupwithredpepperandslipperedhertodeathasshehungfromabeam。Ifoundthatoutmyself，andI’mtheonlymanthatwoulddaregoingintotheStatetogethush-moneyforit。They’lltrytopoisonme，sameastheydidinChortumnawhenIwentonthelootthere。Butyou’llgivethemanatMarwarJunctionmymessage？"

Hegotoutatalittleroadsidestation，andIreflected。Ihadheard，morethanonce，ofmenpersonatingcorrespondentsofnewspapersandbleedingsmallNativeStateswiththreatsofexposure，butIhadnevermetanyofthecastebefore。Theyleadahardlife，andgenerallydiewithgreatsuddenness。TheNativeStateshaveawholesomehorrorofEnglishnewspapers，whichmaythrowlightontheirpeculiarmethodsofgovernment，anddotheirbesttochokecorrespondentswithchampagne，ordrivethemoutoftheirmindwithfour-in-handbarouches。TheydonotunderstandthatnobodycaresastrawfortheinternaladministrationofNativeStatessolongasoppressionandcrimearekeptwithindecentlimits，andtherulerisnotdrugged，drunk，ordiseasedfromoneendoftheyeartotheother。Theyarethedarkplacesoftheearth，fullofunimaginablecruelty，touchingtheRailwayandtheTelegraphononeside，and，ontheother，thedaysofHarun-al-Raschid。WhenIleftthetrainIdidbusinesswithdiversKings，andineightdayspassedthroughmanychangesoflife。

SometimesIworedress-clothesandconsortedwithPrincesandPoliticals，drinkingfromcrystalandeatingfromsilver。SometimesI

layoutuponthegroundanddevouredwhatIcouldget，fromaplatemadeofleaves，anddranktherunningwater，andsleptunderthesamerugasmyservant。Itwasallintheday’swork。

ThenIheadedfortheGreatIndianDesertupontheproperdate，asI

hadpromised，andthenightMailsetmedownatMarwarJunction，whereafunnylittle，happy-go-lucky，native-managedrailwayrunstoJodhpore。TheBombayMailfromDelhimakesashorthaltatMarwar。ShearrivedjustasIgotin，andIhadjusttimetohurrytoherplatformandgodownthecarriages。TherewasonlyoneSecond-classonthetrain。Islippedthewindowandlookeddownuponaflaming-redbeard，halfcoveredbyarailway-rug。Thatwasmyman，fastasleep，andIdughimgentlyintheribs。Hewokewithagrunt，andIsawhisfaceinthelightofthelamps。Itwasagreatandshiningface。

"Ticketsagain？"saidhe。

"No，"saidI。"IamtotellyouthatheisgoneSouthfortheweek。HehasgoneSouthfortheweek！"

Thetrainhadbeguntomoveout。Theredmanrubbedhiseyes。"HehasgoneSouthfortheweek，"herepeated。"Nowthat’sjustlikehisimpidence。DidhesaythatIwastogiveyouanything？’CauseI

won’t。"

"Hedidn’t，"Isaid，anddroppedaway，andwatchedtheredlightsdieoutinthedark。Itwashorriblycoldbecausethewindwasblowingoffthesands。Iclimbedintomyowntrain——notanIntermediatecarriagethistime——andwenttosleep。

IfthemanwiththebeardhadgivenmearupeeIshouldhavekeptitasamementoofarathercuriousaffair。Buttheconsciousnessofhavingdonemydutywasmyonlyreward。

LateronIreflectedthattwogentlemenlikemyfriendscouldnotdoanygoodiftheyforegatheredandpersonatedcorrespondentsofnewspapers，andmight，iftheyblackmailedoneofthelittlerat-trapStatesofCentralIndiaorSouthernRajputana，getthemselvesintoseriousdifficulties。IthereforetooksometroubletodescribethemasaccuratelyasIcouldremembertopeoplewhowouldbeinterestedindeportingthem;andsucceeded，soIwaslaterinformed，inhavingthemheadedbackfromtheDegumberborders。

ThenIbecamerespectable，andreturnedtoanofficewheretherewerenoKingsandnoincidentsoutsidethedailymanufactureofanewspaper。Anewspaperofficeseemstoattracteveryconceivablesortofperson，totheprejudiceofdiscipline。Zenana-missionladiesarrive，andbegthattheEditorwillinstantlyabandonallhisdutiestodescribeaChristianprize-givinginabackslumofaperfectlyinaccessiblevillage;Colonelswhohavebeenoverpassedforcommandsitdownandsketchtheoutlineofaseriesoften，twelve，ortwenty-

fourleadingarticlesonSeniority/versus/Selection;missionarieswishtoknowwhytheyhavenotbeenpermittedtoescapefromtheirregularvehiclesofabuse，andswearatabrothermissionaryunderspecialpatronageoftheeditorialWe;strandedtheatricalcompaniestroopuptoexplainthattheycannotpayfortheiradvertisements，butontheirreturnfromNewZealandorTahitiwilldosowithinterest;

inventorsofpatentpunka-pullingmachines，carriagecouplings，andunbreakableswordsandaxletreescallwithspecificationsintheirpocketsandhoursattheirdisposal;teacompaniesenterandelaboratetheirprospectuseswiththeofficepens;secretariesofballcommitteesclamourtohavethegloriesoftheirlastdancemorefullydescribed;strangeladiesrustleinandsay，"Iwantahundredlady’scardsprinted/atonce/，please，"whichismanifestlypartofanEditor’sduty;andeverydissoluteruffianthatevertrampedtheGrandTrunkRoadmakesithisbusinesstoaskforemploymentasaproof-

reader。And，allthetime，thetelephone-bellisringingmadly，andKingsarebeingkilledontheContinent，andEmpiresaresaying，"You’reanother，"andMisterGladstoneiscallingdownbrimstoneupontheBritishDominions，andthelittleblackcopyboysarewhining，"/kaa-pichay-ha-yeh/"（"Copywanted"），liketiredbees，andmostofthepaperisasblankasModred’sshield。

Butthatistheamusingpartoftheyear。Therearesixothermonthswhennoneevercometocall，andthethermometerwalksinchbyinchuptothetopoftheglass，andtheofficeisdarkenedtojustabovereading-light，andthepress-machinesarered-hottotouch，andnobodywritesanythingbutaccountsofamusementsintheHill-stationsorobituarynotices。Thenthetelephonebecomesatinklingterror，becauseittellsyouofthesuddendeathsofmenandwomenthatyouknewintimately，andthepricklyheatcoversyouwithagarment，andyousitdownandwrite："AslightincreaseofsicknessisreportedfromtheKhudaJantaKhanDistrict。Theoutbreakispurelysporadicinitsnature，and，thankstotheenergeticeffortsoftheDistrictauthorities，isnowalmostatanend。Itis，however，withdeepregretwerecordthedeath，"etc。

Thenthesicknessreallybreaksout，andthelessrecordingandreportingthebetterforthepeaceofthesubscribers。ButtheEmpiresandtheKingscontinuetodivertthemselvesasselfishlyasbefore，andtheForemanthinksthatadailypaperreallyoughttocomeoutonceintwenty-fourhours，andallthepeopleattheHill-stationsinthemiddleoftheiramusementssay，"Goodgracious！whycan’tthepaperbesparkling？I’msurethere’splentygoingonuphere。"

Thatisthedarkhalfofthemoon，and，astheadvertisementssay，"mustbeexperiencedtobeappreciated。"

Itwasinthatseason，andaremarkablyevilseason，thatthepaperbeganrunningthelastissueoftheweekonSaturdaynight，whichistosaySundaymorning，afterthecustomofaLondonpaper。Thiswasagreatconvenience，forimmediatelyafterthepaperwasputtobedthedawnwouldlowerthethermometerfrom96degreestoalmost84degreesforhalfanhour，andinthatchill——youhavenoideahowcoldis84

degreesonthegrassuntilyoubegintoprayforit——averytiredmancouldgetofftosleeperetheheatrousedhim。

OneSaturdaynightitwasmypleasantdutytoputthepapertobedalone。AKingorcourtieroracourtesanoraCommunitywasgoingtodieorgetanewConstitution，ordosomethingthatwasimportantontheothersideoftheworld，andthepaperwastobeheldopentillthelatestpossibleminuteinordertocatchthetelegram。

Itwasapitchy-blacknight，asstiflingasaJunenightcanbe，andthe/loo/，thered-hotwindfromthewestward，wasboomingamongthetinder-drytreesandpretendingthattherainwasonitsheels。Nowandagainaspotofalmostboilingwaterwouldfallonthedustwiththeflopofafrog，butallourwearyworldknewthatwasonlypretence。Itwasashadecoolerinthepress-roomthantheoffice，soIsatthere，whilethetypetickedandclicked，andthenight-jarshootedatthewindows，andtheallbutnakedcompositorswipedthesweatfromtheirforeheadsandcalledforwater。Thethingthatwaskeepingusback，whateveritwas，wouldnotcomeoff，thoughtheloodroppedandthelasttypewasset，andthewholeroundearthstoodstillinthechokingheat，withitsfingeronitslip，towaittheevent。Idrowsed，andwonderedwhetherthetelegraphwasablessing，andwhetherthisdyingman，orstrugglingpeople，mightbeawareoftheinconveniencethedelaywascausing。Therewasnospecialreasonbeyondtheheatandworrytomaketension，but，astheclock-handscreptuptothreeo-clockandthemachinesspuntheirfly-wheelstwoandthreetimestoseethatallwasinorder，beforeIsaidthewordthatwouldsetthemoff，Icouldhaveshriekedaloud。

Thentheroarandrattleofthewheelsshiveredthequietintolittlebits。Irosetogoaway，buttwomeninwhiteclothesstoodinfrontofme。Thefirstonesaid，"It’shim！"Thesecondsaid，"Soitis！"

Andtheybothlaughedalmostasloudlyasthemachineryroared，andmoppedtheirforeheads。"Weseedtherewasalightburningacrosstheroad，andweweresleepinginthatditchthereforcoolness，andI

saidtomyfriendhere，’Theofficeisopen。Let’scomealongandspeaktohimasturnedusbackfromDegumberState，’"saidthesmallerofthetwo。HewasthemanIhadmetintheMhowtrain，andhisfellowwasthered-beardedmanofMarwarJunction。Therewasnomistakingtheeyebrowsoftheoneorthebeardoftheother。

Iwasnotpleased，becauseIwishedtogotosleep，nottosquabblewithloafers。"Whatdoyouwant？"Iasked。

"Halfanhour’stalkwithyou，coolandcomfortable，intheoffice，"

saidthered-beardedman。"We’d/like/somedrink，——theContrackdoesn’tbeginyet，Peachey，soyouneedn’tlook，——butwhatwereallywantisadvice。Wedon’twantmoney。Weaskyouasafavour，becausewefoundoutyoudidusabadturnaboutDegumberState。"

Iledfromthepress-roomtothestiflingofficewiththemapsonthewalls，andthered-hairedmanrubbedhishands。"That’ssomethinglike，"saidhe。"Thiswasthepropershoptocometo。Now，Sir，letmeintroduceyoutoBrotherPeacheyCarnehan，that’shim，andBrotherDanielDravot，thatis/me/，andthelesssaidaboutourprofessionsthebetter，forwehavebeenmostthingsinourtime——soldier，sailor，compositor，photographer，proof-reader，street-preacher，andcorrespondentsofthe’Backwoodsman’whenwethoughtthepaperwantedone。Carnehanissober，andsoamI。Lookatusfirst，andseethat’ssure。Itwillsaveyoucuttingintomytalk。We’lltakeoneofyourcigarsapiece，andyoushallseeuslightup。"

Iwatchedthetest。Themenwereabsolutelysober，soIgavethemeachatepidwhisky-and-soda。

"Well/and/good，"saidCarnehanoftheeyebrows，wipingthefrothfromhismoustache。"Letmetalknow，Dan。WehavebeenalloverIndia，mostlyonfoot。Wehavebeenboiler-fitters，engine-drivers，pettycontractors，andallthat，andwehavedecidedthatIndiaisn’tbigenoughforsuchasus。"

Theycertainlyweretoobigfortheoffice。Dravot’sbeardseemedtofillhalftheroomandCarnehan’sshoulderstheotherhalf，astheysatonthebigtable。Carnehancontinued："Thecountryisn’thalfworkedoutbecausetheythatgovernsitwon’tletyoutouchit。Theyspendalltheirblessedtimeingoverningit，andyoucan’tliftaspade，norchiparock，norlookforoil，noranythinglikethat，withoutalltheGovernmentsaying，’Leaveitalone，andletusgovern。’Therefore，such/as/itis，wewillletitalone，andgoawaytosomeotherplacewhereamanisn’tcrowdedandcancometohisown。

Wearenotlittlemen，andthereisnothingthatweareafraidofexceptDrink，andwehavesignedaContrackonthat。/Therefore/wearegoingawaytobeKings。"

"Kingsinourownright，"mutteredDravot。

"Yes，ofcourse，"Isaid。"You’vebeentrampinginthesun，andit’saverywarmnight，andhadn’tyoubettersleepoverthenotion？Cometo-morrow。"

"Neitherdrunknorsunstruck，"saidDravot。"Wehavesleptoverthenotionhalfayear，andrequiretoseeBooksandAtlases，andwehavedecidedthatthereisonlyoneplacenowintheworldthattwostrongmencanSar-a-/whack/。TheycallitKafiristan。Bymyreckoningit’sthetopright-handcornerofAfghanistan，notmorethanthreehundredmilesfromPeshawar。Theyhavetwoandthirtyheathenidolsthere，andwe’llbethethirty-thirdandfourth。It’samountaineouscountry，thewomenofthosepartsareverybeautiful。"

"ButthatisprovidedagainstintheContrack，"saidCarnehan。

"NeitherWomennorLiqu-or，Daniel。"

"Andthat’sallweknow，exceptthatnoonehasgonethere，andtheyfight，andinanyplacewheretheyfightamanwhoknowshowtodrillmencanalwaysbeaKing。WeshallgotothosepartsandsaytoanyKingwefind，’D’youwanttovanquishyourfoes？’andwewillshowhimhowtodrillmen;forthatweknowbetterthananythingelse。ThenwewillsubvertthatKingandseizehisThroneandestablishaDy-nasty。"

"You’llbecuttopiecesbeforeyou’refiftymilesacrosstheBorder，"

Isaid。"YouhavetotravelthroughAfghanistantogettothatcountry。It’sonemassofmountainsandpeaksandglaciers，andnoEnglishmanhasbeenthroughit。Thepeopleareutterbrutes，andevenifyoureachedthemyoucouldn’tdoanything。"

"That’smorelike，"saidCarnehan。"Ifyoucouldthinkusalittlemoremadwewouldbemorepleased。Wehavecometoyoutoknowaboutthiscountry，toreadabookaboutit，andtobeshownmaps。Wewantyoutotellusthatwearefoolsandtoshowusyourbooks。"Heturnedtothebookcases。

"Areyouatallinearnest？"Isaid。

"Alittle，"saidDravot，sweetly。"Asbigamapasyouhavegot，evenifit’sallblankwhereKafiristanis，andanybooksyou’vegot。Wecanread，thoughwearen’tveryeducated。"

Iuncasedthebigthirty-two-miles-to-the-inchmapofIndiaandtwosmallerFrontiermaps，hauleddownvolumeINF-KANofthe"EncyclopaediaBritannica，"andthemenconsultedthem。

"Seehere！"saidDravot，histhumbonthemap。"UptoJagdallak，Peacheyandmeknowtheroad。WewastherewithRobert’sArmy。We’llhavetoturnofftotherightatJagdallakthroughLaghmannterritory。

Thenwegetamongthehills——fourteenthousandfeet——fifteenthousand——itwillbecoldworkthere，butitdon’tlookveryfaronthemap。"

IhandedhimWoodonthe"SourcesoftheOxus。"Carnehanwasdeepinthe"Encyclopaedia。"

"They’reamixedlot，"saidDravot，reflectively;"anditwon’thelpustoknowthenamesoftheirtribes。Themoretribesthemorethey’llfight，andthebetterforus。FromJagdallaktoAshang。H’mm！"

"Butalltheinformationaboutthecountryisassketchyandinaccurateascanbe，"Iprotested。"Nooneknowsanythingaboutitreally。Here’sthefileofthe’UnitedServices’Institute。’ReadwhatBellewsays。"

"BlowBellew！"saidCarnehan。"Dan，they’reastinkin’lotofheathens，butthisbookheresaystheythinkthey’rerelatedtousEnglish。"

IsmokedwhilethemenpouredoverRaverty，Wood，themaps，andthe"Encyclopaedia。"

"Thereisnouseyourwaiting，"saidDravot，politely。"It’saboutfouro’clocknow。We’llgobeforesixo’clockifyouwanttosleep，andwewon’tstealanyofthepapers。Don’tyousitup。We’retwoharmlesslunatics，andifyoucometo-morroweveningdowntotheSeraiwe’llsaygood-byetoyou。"

"You/are/twofools，"Ianswered。"You’llbeturnedbackattheFrontierorcutuptheminuteyousetfootinAfghanistan。Doyouwantanymoneyorarecommendationdown-country？Icanhelpyoutothechanceofworknextweek。"

"Nextweekweshallbehardatworkourselves，thankyou，"saidDravot。"Itisn’tsoeasybeingaKingasitlooks。Whenwe’vegotourKingdomingoingorderwe’llletyouknow，andyoucancomeupandhelpusgovernit。"

"WouldtwolunaticsmakeaContracklikethat？"saidCarnehan，withsubduedpride，showingmeagreasyhalf-sheetofnotepaperonwhichwaswrittenthefollowing。Icopiedit，thenandthere，asacuriosity。

ThisContracxbetweenmeandyoupersuingwitnessethinthenameofGod——Amenandsoforth。

（One）Thatmeandyouwillsettlethismattertogether;i。e。，tobeKingsofKafiristan。

（Two）Thatyouandmewillnot，whilethismatterisbeingsettled，lookatanyLiquor，noranyWoman，black，white，orbrown，soastogetmixedupwithoneortheotherharmful。

（Three）ThatweconductourselveswithDignityandDiscretion，andifoneofusgetsintotroubletheotherwillstaybyhim。

Signedbyyouandmethisday。

PeacheyTaliaferroCarnehan。

DanielDravot。

BothGentlemenatLarge。

"Therewasnoneedforthelastarticle，"saidCarnehan，blushingmodestly;"butitlooksregular。Nowyouknowthesortofmenthatloafersare，——we/are/loafers，Dan，untilwegetoutofIndia，——and/do/youthinkthatwewouldsignaContracklikethatunlesswewasinearnest？Wehavekeptawayfromthetwothingsthatmakelifeworthhaving。"

"Youwon’tenjoyyourlivesmuchlongerifyouaregoingtotrythisidioticadventure。Don’tsettheofficeonfire，"Isaid，"andgoawaybeforenineo’clock。"

Ileftthemstillporingoverthemapsandmakingnotesonthebackofthe"Contrack。""BesuretocomedowntotheSeraito-morrow，"weretheirpartingwords。

TheKumharsenSeraiisthegreatfoursquaresinkofhumanitywherethestringsofcamelsandhorsesfromtheNorthloadandunload。AllthenationalitiesofCentralAsiamaybefoundthere，andmostofthefolkofIndiaproper。BalkhandBokharatheremeetBengalandBombay，andtrytodraweye-teeth。Youcanbuyponies，turquoises，Persianpussy-

cats，saddle-bags，fat-tailedsheep，andmuskintheKumharsenSerai，andgetmanystrangethingsfornothing。IntheafternoonIwentdowntoseewhethermyfriendsintendedtokeeptheirwordorwerelyingtheredrunk。

Apriestattiredinfragmentsofribbonsandragsstalkeduptome，gravelytwistingachild’spaperwhirligig。Behindhimwashisservantbendingundertheloadofacrateofmudtoys。Thetwowereloadinguptwocamels，andtheinhabitantsoftheSeraiwatchedthemwithshrieksoflaughter。

"Thepriestismad，"saidahorse-dealertome。"HeisgoinguptoKabultoselltoystotheAmir。Hewilleitherberaisedtohonourorhavehisheadcutoff。Hecameinherethismorningandhasbeenbehavingmadlyeversince。"

"ThewitlessareundertheprotectionofGod，"stammeredaflat-

cheekedUsbeginbrokenHindi。"Theyforetellfutureevents。"

"WouldtheycouldhaveforetoldthatmycaravanwouldhavebeencutupbytheShinwarisalmostwithinshadowofthePass！"gruntedtheEusufzaiagentofaRajputanatrading-housewhosegoodshadbeendivertedintothehandsofotherrobbersjustacrosstheBorder，andwhosemisfortuneswerethelaughing-stockofthebazaar。"Ohe，priest，whencecomeyouandwhitherdoyougo？"

"FromRoumhaveIcome，"shoutedthepriest，wavinghiswhirligig;

"fromRoum，blownbythebreathofahundreddevilsacrossthesea！O

thieves，robbers，liars，theblessingofPirKhanonpigs，dogs，andperjurers！WhowilltaketheProtectedofGodtotheNorthtosellcharmsthatareneverstilltotheAmir？Thecamelsshallnotgall，thesonsshallnotfallsick，andthewivesshallremainfaithfulwhiletheyareaway，ofthemenwhogivemeplaceintheircaravan。

WhowillassistmetoslippertheKingoftheRooswithagoldenslipperwithasilverheel？TheprotectionofPirKhanbeuponhislabours！"Hespreadouttheskirtsofhisgabardineandpirouettedbetweenthelinesoftetheredhorses。

"TherestartsacaravanfromPeshawartoKabulintwentydays，/Huzrut/，"saidtheEusufzaitrader。"Mycamelsgotherewith。Dothoualsogoandbringusgoodluck。"

"Iwillgoevennow！"shoutedthepriest。"Iwilldepartuponmywingedcamels，andbeatPeshawarinaday！Ho！HazarMirKhan，"heyelledtohisservant，"driveoutthecamels，butletmefirstmountmyown。"

Heleapedonthebackofhisbeastasitknelt，and，turningroundtome，cried，"Comethoualso，Sahib，alittlealongtheroad，andIwillselltheeacharm——anamuletthatshallmaketheeKingofKafiristan。"

Thenthelightbrokeuponme，andIfollowedthetwocamelsoutoftheSeraitillwereachedopenroadandthepriesthalted。

"Whatd’youthinko’that？"saidheinEnglish。"Carnehancan’ttalktheirpatter，soI’vemadehimmyservant。Hemakesahandsomeservant。’Tisn’tfornothingthatI’vebeenknockingaboutthecountryforfourteenyears。Didn’tIdothattalkneat？We’llhitchontoacaravanatPeshawartillwegettoJagdallak，andthenwe’llseeifwecangetdonkeysforourcamels，andstrikeintoKafiristan。

WhirligigsfortheAmir，OLor’！Putyourhandunderthecamelbagsandtellmewhatyoufeel。"

IfeltthebuttofaMartini，andanotherandanother。

"Twentyof’em，"saidDravot，placidly。"Twentyof’emandammunitiontocorrespond，underthewhirligigsandthemuddolls。"

"Heavenhelpyouifyouarecaughtwiththosethings！"Isaid。"A

MartiniisworthherweightinsilveramongthePathans。"

"Fifteenhundredrupeesofcapital——everyrupeewecouldbeg，borrow，orsteal——areinvestedonthesetwocamels，"saidDravot。"Wewon’tgetcaught。We’regoingthroughtheKhaiberwitharegularcaravan。

Who’dtouchapoormadpriest？"

"Haveyougoteverythingyouwant？"Iasked，overcomewithastonishment。

"Notyet，butweshallsoon。Giveusamomentoofyourkindness，/Brother/。Youdidmeaserviceyesterday，andthattimeinMarwar。

HalfmyKingdomshallyouhave，asthesayingis。"Islippedasmallcharmcompassfrommywatch-chainandhandedituptothepriest。

"Good-bye，"saidDravot，givingmehandcautiously。"It’sthelasttimewe’llshakehandswithanEnglishmanthesemanydays。Shakehandswithhim，Carnehan，"hecried，asthesecondcamelpassedme。

Carnehanleaneddownandshookhands。Thenthecamelspassedawayalongthedustyroad，andIwasleftalonetowonder。Myeyecoulddetectnofailureinthedisguises。ThesceneintheSeraiprovedthattheywerecompletetothenativemind。Therewasjustthechance，therefore，thatCarnehanandDravotwouldbeabletowanderthroughAfghanistanwithoutdetection。But，beyond，theywouldfinddeath——

certainandawfuldeath。

Tendayslateranativecorrespondent，givingmethenewsofthedayfromPeshawar，wounduphisletterwith："TherehasbeenmuchlaughterhereonaccountofacertainmadpriestwhoisgoinginhisestimationtosellpettygaudsandinsignificanttrinketswhichheascribesasgreatcharmstoH。H。theAmirofBokhara。HepassedthroughPeshawarandassociatedhimselftotheSecondSummercaravanthatgoestoKabul。Themerchantsarepleasedbecausethroughsuperstitiontheyimaginethatsuchmadfellowsbringgoodfortune。"

Thetwo，then，werebeyondtheBorder。Iwouldhaveprayedforthem，butthatnightarealKingdiedinEurope，anddemandedanobituarynotice。

Thewheeloftheworldswingsthroughthesamephasesagainandagain。

Summerpassedandwinterthereafter，andcameandpassedagain。ThedailypapercontinuedandIwithit，anduponthethirdsummertherefellahotnight，anightissue，andastrainedwaitingforsomethingtobetelegraphedfromtheothersideoftheworld，exactlyashadhappenedbefore。Afewgreatmenhaddiedinthepasttwoyears，themachinesworkedwithmoreclatter，andsomeofthetreesintheofficegardenwereafewfeettaller。Butthatwasallthedifference。

Ipassedovertothepress-room，andwentthroughjustsuchasceneasIhavealreadydescribed。Thenervoustensionwasstrongerthanithadbeentwoyearsbefore，andIfelttheheatmoreacutely。Atthreeo’clockIcried，"Printoff，"andturnedtogo，whentherecrepttomychairwhatwasleftofaman。Hewasbentintoacircle，hisheadwassunkbetweenhisshoulders，andhemovedhisfeetoneovertheotherlikeabear。Icouldhardlyseewhetherhewalkedorcrawled——thisrag-wrapped，whiningcripplewhoaddressedmebyname，cryingthathewascomeback。"Canyougivemeadrink？"hewhimpered。"FortheLord’ssake，givemeadrink！"

Iwentbacktotheoffice，themanfollowingwithgroansofpain，andIturnedupthelamp。

"Don’tyouknowme？"hegasped，droppingintoachair，andheturnedhisdrawnface，surmountedbyashockofgrayhair，tothelight。

Ilookedathimintently。OncebeforehadIseeneyebrowsthatmetoverthenoseinaninch-broadblackband，butforthelifeofmeI

couldnottellwhere。

"Idon’tknowyou，"Isaid，handinghimthewhisky。"WhatcanIdoforyou？"

Hetookagulpofthespiritraw，andshiveredinspiteofthesuffocatingheat。

"I’vecomeback，"herepeated;"andIwastheKingofKafiristan——meandDravot——crownedKingswewas！Inthisofficewesettledit——yousettingthereandgivingusthebooks。IamPeachey，——PeacheyTaliaferroCarnehan，——andyou’vebeensettinghereeversince——O

Lord！"

Iwasmorethanalittleastonished，andexpressedmyfeelingsaccordingly。

"It’strue，"saidCarnehan，withadrycackle，nursinghisfeet，whichwerewrappedinrags——"trueasgospel。Kingswewere，withcrownsuponourheads——meandDravot——poorDan——oh，poor，poorDan，thatwouldnevertakeadvice，notthoughIbeggedofhim！"

"Takethewhisky，"Isaid，"andtakeyourowntime。Tellmeallyoucanrecollectofeverythingfrombeginningtoend。YougotacrosstheBorderonyourcamels，Dravotdressedasamadpriestandyouhisservant。Doyourememberthat？"

"Iain’tmad——yet，butIshallbethatwaysoon。OfcourseIremember。

Keeplookingatme，ormaybemywordswillgoalltopieces。Keeplookingatmeinmyeyesanddon’tsayanything。"

IleanedforwardandlookedintohisfaceassteadilyasIcould。HedroppedonehanduponthetableandIgraspeditbythewrist。Itwastwistedlikeabird’sclaw，anduponthebackwasaragged，red，diamond-shapedscar。

"No，don’tlookthere。Lookat/me/，"saidCarnehan。"Thatcomesafterward，butfortheLord’ssakedon’tdistrackme。Weleftwiththatcaravan，meandDravotplayingallsortsofanticstoamusethepeoplewewerewith。Dravotusedtomakeuslaughintheeveningswhenallthepeoplewascookingtheirdinners——cookingtheirdinners，and……whatdidtheydothen？TheylitlittlefireswithsparksthatwentintoDravot’sbeard，andwealllaughed——fittodie。Littleredfirestheywas，goingintoDravot’sbigredbeard——sofunny。"Hiseyesleftmineandhesmiledfoolishly。

"YouwentasfarasJagdallakwiththatcaravan，"Isaid，ataventure，"afteryouhadlitthosefires。ToJagdallak，whereyouturnedofftotrytogetintoKafiristan。"

"No，wedidn’t，neither。Whatareyoutalkingabout？WeturnedoffbeforeJagdallak，becauseweheardtheroadswasgood。Buttheywasn’tgoodenoughforourtwocamels——mineandDravot’s。Whenweleftthecaravan，Dravottookoffallhisclothesandminetoo，andsaidwewouldbeheathen，becausetheKafirsdidn’tallowMohammedanstotalktothem。Sowedressedbetwixtandbetween，andsuchasightasDanielDravotIneversawyetnorexpecttoseeagain。Heburnedhalfhisbeard，andslungasheepskinoverhisshoulder，andshavedhisheadintopatterns。Heshavedminetoo，andmademewearoutrageousthingstolooklikeaheathen。Thatwasinamostmountaineouscountry，andourcamelscouldn’tgoalonganymorebecauseofthemountains。Theyweretallandblack，andcominghomeIsawthemfightlikewildgoats——therearelotsofgoatsinKafiristan。Andthesemountains，theyneverkeepstill，nomorethanthegoats。Alwaysfightingtheyare，anddon’tletyousleepatnight。"

"Takesomemorewhisky，"Isaid，veryslowly。"WhatdidyouandDanielDravotdowhenthecamelscouldgonofartherbecauseoftheroughroadsthatledintoKafiristan？"

"Whatdidwhichdo？TherewasapartycalledPeacheyTaliaferroCarnehanthatwaswithDravot。ShallItellyouabouthim？Hediedoutthereinthecold。SlapfromthebridgefelloldPeachey，turningandtwistingintheairlikeapennywhirligigthatyoucanselltotheAmir。No;theywastwoforthreeha’pence，thosewhirligigs，orIammuchmistakenandwofulsore……Andthenthesecamelswerenouse，andPeacheysaidtoDravot，’FortheLord’ssakelet’sgetoutofthisbeforeourheadsarechoppedoff，’andwiththattheykilledthecamelsallamongthemountains，nothavinganythinginparticulartoeat，butfirsttheytookofftheboxeswiththegunsandtheammunition，tilltwomencamealongdrivingfourmules。Dravotupanddancesinfrontofthem，singing，’Sellmefourmules。’Saysthefirstman，’Ifyouarerichenoughtobuy，youarerichenoughtorob;’butbeforeeverhecouldputhishandtohisknife，Dravotbreakshisneckoverhisknee，andtheotherpartyrunsaway。SoCarnehanloadedthemuleswiththeriflesthatwastakenoffthecamels，andtogetherwestartsforwardintothosebitter-coldmountaineousparts，andneveraroadbroaderthanthebackofyourhand。"

Hepausedforamoment，whileIaskedhimifhecouldrememberthenatureofthecountrythroughwhichhehadjourneyed。

"IamtellingyouasstraightasIcan，butmyheadisn’tasgoodasitmightbe。TheydrovenailsthroughittomakemehearbetterhowDravotdied。Thecountrywasmountaineousandthemulesweremostcontrary，andtheinhabitantswasdispersedandsolitary。Theywentupandup，anddownanddown，andthatotherparty，Carnehan，wasimploringofDravotnottosingandwhistlesoloud，forfearofbringingdownthetremenjusavalanches。ButDravotsaysthatifaKingcouldn’tsingitwasn’tworthbeingKing，andwhackedthemulesovertherump，andnevertooknoheedfortencolddays。Wecametoabiglevelvalleyallamongthemountains，andthemuleswereneardead，sowekilledthem，nothavinganythinginspecialforthemorustoeat。

Wesatupontheboxes，andplayedoddandevenwiththecartridgesthatwasjoltedout。

"Thentenmenwithbowsandarrowsrandownthatvalley，chasingtwentymenwithbowsandarrows，andtherowwastremenjus。Theywasfairmen——fairerthanyouorme——withyellowhairandremarkablewellbuilt。SaysDravot，unpackingtheguns，’Thisisthebeginningofthebusiness。We’llfightforthetenmen，’andwiththathefirestworiflesatthetwentymen，anddropsoneofthemattwohundredyardsfromtherockwherehewassitting。Theothermenbegantorun，butCarnehanandDravotsitsontheboxespickingthemoffatallranges，upanddownthevalley。Thenwegoesuptothetenmenthathadrunacrossthesnowtoo，andtheyfiresafootylittlearrowatus。Dravotheshootsabovetheirheads，andtheyallfallsdownflat。Thenhewalksoverthemandkicksthem，andthenheliftsthemupandshakeshandsallroundtomakethemfriendlylike。Hecallsthemandgivesthemtheboxestocarry，andwaveshishandforalltheworldasthoughhewasKingalready。Theytakestheboxesandhimacrossthevalleyandupthehillintoapinewoodonthetop，wheretherewashalfadozenbigstoneidols。Dravothegoestothebiggest——afellowtheycallImbra——andlaysarifleandacartridgeathisfeet，rubbinghisnoserespectfulywithhisownnose，pattinghimonthehead，andnodshishead，andsays，’That’sallright。I’mintheknowtoo，andtheseoldjimjamsaremyfriends。’Thenheopenshismouthandpointsdownit，andwhenthefirstmanbringshimfood，hesays，’No;’andwhenthesecondmanbringshimfood，hesays’no;’butwhenoneoftheoldpriestsandthebossofthevillagebringshimfood，hesays，’Yes;’veryhaughty，andeatsitslow。Thatwashowhecametoourfirstvillagewithoutanytrouble，justasthoughwehadtumbledfromtheskies。Butwetumbledfromoneofthosedamnedrope-bridges，yousee，and——youcouldn’texpectamantolaughmuchafterthat？"

"Takesomemorewhiskyandgoon，"Isaid。"Thatwasthefirstvillageyoucameinto。HowdidyougettobeKing？"

"Iwasn’tKing，"saidCarnehan。"DravothewastheKing，andahandsomemanhelookedwiththegoldcrownonhisheadandall。Himandtheotherpartystayedinthatvillage，andeverymorningDravotsatbythesideofoldImbra，andthepeoplecameandworshipped。ThatwasDravot’sorder。Thenalotofmencameintothevalley，andCarnehanDravotpicksthemoffwiththeriflesbeforetheyknewwheretheywas，andrunsdownintothevalleyandupagaintheotherside，andfindsanothervillage，sameasthefirstone，andthepeopleallfallsdownflatontheirfaces，andDravotsays，’Nowwhatisthetroublebetweenyoutwovillages？’andthepeoplepointstoawoman，asfairasyouorme，thatwascarriedoff，andDravottakesherbacktothefirstvillageandcountsupthedead——eighttherewas。ForeachdeadmanDravotpoursalittlemilkonthegroundandwaveshisarmslikeawhirligig，and’That’sallright，’sayshe。ThenheandCarnehantakesthebigbossofeachvillagebythearm，andwalksthemdownthevalley，andshowsthemhowtoscratchalinewithaspearrightdownthevalley，andgiveseachasodofturffrombothsidesoftheline。Thenallthepeoplecomesdownandshoutslikethedevilandall，andDravotsays，’Goanddigtheland，andbefruitfulandmultiply，’whichtheydid，thoughtheydidn’tunderstand。Thenweasksthenamesofthingsintheirlingo——breadandwaterandfireandidolsandsuch;andDravotleadsthepriestofeachvillageuptotheidol，andsayshemustsitthereandjudgethepeople，andifanythinggoeswrongheistobeshot。

"Nextweektheywasallturningupthelandinthevalleyasquietasbeesandmuchprettier，andthepriestsheardallthecomplaintsandtoldDravotindumb-showwhatitwasabout。’That’sjustthebeginning，’saysDravot。’Theythinkwe’reGods。’HeandCarnehanpicksouttwentygoodmenandshowsthemhowtoclickoffarifleandformfoursandadvanceinline;andtheywasverypleasedtodoso，andclevertoseethehangofit。Thenhetakesouthispipeandhisbaccy-pouch，andleavesoneatonevillageandoneattheother，andoffwetwogoestoseewhatwastobedoneinthenextvalley。Thatwasallrock，andtherewasalittlevillagethere，andCarnehansays，’Send’emtotheoldvalleytoplant，’andtakes’emthereandgives’emsomelandthatwasn’ttookbefore。Theywereapoorlot，andweblooded’emwithakidbeforeletting’emintothenewKingdom。Thatwastoimpressthepeople，andthentheysettleddownquiet，andCarnehanwentbacktoDravot，whohadgotintoanothervalley，allsnowandiceandmostmountaineous。Therewasnopeoplethere，andtheArmygotafraid;soDravotshootsoneofthem，andgoesontillhefindssomepeopleinavillage，andtheArmyexplainsthatunlessthepeoplewantstobekilledtheyhadbetternotshoottheirlittlematchlocks，fortheyhadmatchlocks。Wemakesfriendswiththepriest，andIstaystherealonewithtwooftheArmy，teachingthemenhowtodrill;andathunderingbigChiefcomesacrossthesnowwithkettledrumsandhornstwanging，becauseheheardtherewasanewGodkickingabout。Carnehansightsforthebrownofthemenhalfamileacrossthesnowandwingsoneofthem。ThenhesendsamessagetotheChiefthat，unlesshewishedtobekilled，hemustcomeandshakehandswithmeandleavehisarmsbehind。TheChiefcomesalonefirst，andCarnehanshakeshandswithhimandwhirlshisarmsabout，sameasDravotused，andverymuchsurprisedthatChiefwas，andstrokesmyeyebrows。ThenCarnehangoesalonetotheChief，andaskshimindumb-

showifhehadanenemyhehated。’Ihave，’saysthechief。SoCarnehanweedsoutthepickofhismen，andsetsthetwooftheArmytoshowthemdrill，andattheendoftwoweeksthemencanmanoeuvreaboutaswellasVolunteers。SohemarcheswiththeChieftoagreatbigplainonthetopofamountain，andtheChief’smenrushesintoavillageandtakesit;wethreeMartinisfiringintothebrownoftheenemy。Sowetookthatvillagetoo，andIgivestheChiefaragfrommycoat，andsays，’OccupytillIcome;’whichwasscriptural。Bywayofareminder，whenmeandtheArmywaseighteenhundredyardsaway，I

dropsabulletnearhimstandingonthesnow，andallthepeoplefallsflatontheirfaces。ThenIsendsalettertoDravotwhereverhebebylandorbysea。"

AttheriskofthrowingthecreatureoutoftrainIinterrupted："Howcouldyouwritealetterupyonder？"

"Theletter？——oh！——theletter！Keeplookingatmebetweentheeyes，please。Itwasastring-talkletter，thatwe’dlearnedthewayofitfromablindbeggarinthePunjab。"

Irememberthattherehadoncecometotheofficeablindmanwithaknottedtwig，andapieceofstringwhichhewoundroundthetwigaccordingtosomecipherofhisown。Hecould，afterthelapseofdaysorhours，repeatthesentencewhichhehadreeledup。Hehadreducedthealphabettoelevenprimitivesounds，andtriedtoteachmehismethod，butIcouldnotunderstand。

"IsentthatlettertoDravot，"saidCarnehan，"andtoldhimtocomebackbecausethisKingdomwasgrowingtoobigformetohandle;andthenIstruckforthefirstvalley，toseehowthepriestswereworking。TheycalledthevillagewetookalongwiththeChief，Bashkai，andthefirstvillagewetook，Er-Heb。ThepriestsatEr-Hebwasdoingallright，buttheyhadalotofpendingcasesaboutlandtoshowme，andsomemenfromanothervillagehadbeenfiringarrowsatnight。Iwentoutandlookedforthatvillage，andfiredfourroundsatitfromathousandyards。ThatusedallthecartridgesIcaredtospend，andIwaitedforDravot，whohadbeenawaytwoorthreemonths，andIkeptmypeoplequiet。

"OnemorningIheardthedevil’sownnoiseofdrumsandhorns，andDanDravotmarchesdownthehillwithhisArmyandatailofhundredsofmen，and，whichwasthemostamazing，agreatgoldcrownonhishead。

’MyGord，Carnehan，’saysDaniel，’thisisatremenjusbusiness，andwe’vegotthewholecountryasfarasit’sworthhaving。IamthesonofAlexanderbyQueenSemiramis，andyou’remyyoungerbrotherandaGodtoo！It’sthebiggestthingwe’veeverseen。I’vebeenmarchingandfightingforsixweekswiththeArmy，andeveryfootylittlevillageforfiftymileshascomeinrejoiceful;andmorethanthat，I’vegotthekeyofthewholeshow，asyou’llsee，andI’vegotacrownforyou！Itold’emtomaketwoof’emataplacecalledShu，wherethegoldliesintherocklikesuetinmutton。GoldI’veseen，andturquoiseI’vekickedoutofthecliffs，andthere’sgarnetsinthesandsoftheriver，andhere’sachunkofamberthatamanbroughtme。Callupallthepriestsand，here，takeyourcrown。’

"Oneofthemenopensablackhairbag，andIslipsthecrownon。Itwastoosmallandtooheavy，butIworeitfortheglory。Hammeredgolditwas——fivepoundsweight，likeahoopofabarrel。

"’Peachey，’saysDravot，’wedon’twanttofightnomore。TheCraft’sthetrick，sohelpme！’andhebringsforwardthatsameChiefthatI

leftatBashkai——BillyFishwecalledhimafterward，becausehewassolikeBillyFishthatdrovethebigtank-engineatMachontheBolanintheolddays。’Shakehandswithhim，’saysDravot;andIshookhandsandnearlydropped，forBillyFishgavemetheGrip。Isaidnothing，buttriedhimwiththeFellow-craftGrip。Heanswersallright，andI

triedtheMaster’sGrip，butthatwasaslip。’AFellow-craftheis！’

IsaystoDan。’Doesheknowtheword？’’Hedoes，’saysDan，’andallthepriestsknow。It’samiracle！TheChiefsandthepriestscanworkaFellow-craftLodgeinawaythat’sverylikeours，andthey’vecutthemarksontherocks，buttheydon’tknowtheThirdDegree，andthey’vecometofindout。It’sGord’sTruth。I’veknowntheselongyearsthattheAfghansknewuptotheFellow-craftDegree，butthisisamiracle。AGodandaGrandMasteroftheCraftamI，andaLodgeintheThirdDegreeIwillopen，andwe’llraisetheheadpriestsandtheChiefsofthevillages。’

"’It’sagainstallthelaw，’Isays，’holdingaLodgewithoutwarrantfromanyone;andyouknowweneverheldofficeinanyLodge。’

"’It’samasterstrokeo’policy，’saysDravot。’Itmeansrunningthecountryaseasyasafour-wheeledbogieonadowngrade。Wecan’tstoptoinquirenow，orthey’llturnagainstus。I’vefortyChiefsatmyheel，andpassedandraisedaccordingtotheirmerittheyshallbe。

Billetthesemenonthevillages，andseethatwerunupaLodgeofsomekind。ThetempleofImbrawilldoforaLodge-room。Thewomenmustmakeapronsasyoushowthem。I’llholdaleveeofChiefsto-nightandLodgeto-morrow。’

"Iwasfairrunoffmylegs，butIwasn’tsuchafoolasnottoseewhatapullthisCraftbusinessgaveus。Ishowedthepriests’

familieshowtomakeapronsofthedegrees，butforDravot’saprontheblueborderandmarkswasmadeofturquoiselumpsonwhitehide，notcloth。WetookagreatsquarestoneinthetemplefortheMaster’schair，andlittlestonesfortheofficer’schairs，andpaintedtheblackpavementwithwhitesquares，anddidwhatwecouldtomakethingsregular。

"Attheleveewhichwasheldthatnightonthehillsidewithbigbonfires，DravotgivesoutthathimandmewereGodsandsonsofAlexander，andPassedGrandMastersintheCraft，andwascometomakeKafiristanacountrywhereeverymanshouldeatinpeaceanddrinkinquiet，andspeciallyobeyus。ThentheChiefscomeroundtoshakehands，andtheyweresohairyandwhiteandfairitwasjustshakinghandswitholdfriends。WegavethemnamesaccordingastheywaslikemenwehadknowninIndia——BillyFish，HollyDilworth，PikkyKergan，thatwasBazaar-masterwhenIwasatMhow，andsoon，andsoon。

"/The/mostamazingmiracleswasatLodgenextnight。Oneoftheoldpriestswaswatchinguscontinuous，andIfeltuneasy，forIknewwe’dhavetofudgetheRitual，andIdidn’tknowwhatthemenknew。TheoldpriestwasastrangercomeinfrombeyondthevillageofBashkai。TheminuteDravotputsontheMaster’sapronthatthegirlshadmadeforhim，thepriestfetchesawhoopandahowl，andtriestooverturnthestonethatDravotwassittingon。’It’sallupnow，’Isays。’ThatcomesofmeddlingwiththeCraftwithoutwarrant！’Dravotneverwinkedaneye，notwhentenprieststookandtiltedovertheGrandMaster’schair——whichwastosay，thestoneofImbra。Thepriestbeginsrubbingthebottomendofittoclearawaytheblackdirt，andpresentlyheshowsalltheotherprieststheMaster’sMark，sameaswasonDravot’sapron，cutintothestone。NoteventhepriestsofthetempleofImbraknewitwasthere。TheoldchapfallsflatonhisfaceatDravot’sfeetandkisses’em。’Luckagain，’saysDravot，acrosstheLodge，tome;’theysayit’sthemissingMarkthatnoonecouldunderstandthewhyof。We’remorethansafenow。’Thenhebangsthebuttofhisgunforagavelandsays，’ByvirtueoftheauthorityvestedinmebymyownrighthandandthehelpofPeachey，IdeclaremyselfGrandMasterofallFreemasonryinKafiristaninthistheMotherLodgeo’thecountry，andKingofKafiristanequallywithPeachey！’AtthatheputsonhiscrownandIputsonmine，——IwasdoingSeniorWarden，——andweopenstheLodgeinmostampleform。Itwasanamazingmiracle！ThepriestsmovedinLodgethroughthefirsttwodegreesalmostwithouttelling，asifthememorywascomingbacktothem。AfterthatPeacheyandDravotraisedsuchaswasworthy——highpriestsandChiefsoffar-

offvillages。BillyFishwasthefirst，andIcantellyouwescaredthesouloutofhim。ItwasnotinanywayaccordingtoRitual，butitservedourturn。Wedidn’traisemorethantenofthebiggestmen，becausewedidn’twanttomaketheDegreecommon。Andtheywasclamouringtoberaised。

"’Inanothersixmonths，’saysDravot，’we’llholdanotherCommunicationandseehowyouareworking。’Thenheasksthemabouttheirvillages，andlearnsthattheywasfightingoneagainsttheother，andweresickandtiredofit。Andwhentheywasn’tdoingthattheywasfightingwiththeMohammedans。’Youcanfightthosewhentheycomeintoourcountry，’saysDravot。’TelloffeverytenthmanofyourtribesforaFrontierguard，andsendtwohundredatatimetothisvalleytobedrilled。Nobodyisgoingtobeshotorspearedanymoresolongashedoeswell，andIknowthatyouwon’tcheatme，becauseyou’rewhitepeople——sonsofAlexander——andnotlikecommonblackMohammedans。Youare/my/people，and，byGod，’sayshe，runningoffintoEnglishattheend，’I’llmakeadamnedfineNationofyou，orI’lldieinthemaking！’

"Ican’ttellallwedidforthenextsixmonths，becauseDravotdidalotIcouldn’tseethehangof，andhelearnedtheirlingoinawayI

nevercould。Myworkwastohelpthepeopleplough，andnowandagaingooutwithsomeoftheArmyandseewhattheothervillagesweredoing，andmake’emthrowropebridgesacrosstheravineswhichcutupthecountryhorrid。Dravotwasverykindtome，butwhenhewalkedupanddowninthepinewoodpullingthatbloodyredbeardofhiswithbothfistsIknewhewasthinkingplansIcouldnotadviseabout，andIjustwaitedfororders。

"ButDravotnevershowedmedisrespectbeforethepeople。TheywereafraidofmeandtheArmy，buttheylovedDan。HewasthebestoffriendswiththepriestsandtheChiefs;butanyonecouldcomeacrossthehillswithacomplaint，andDravotwouldhearhimoutfair，andcallfourprieststogetherandsaywhatwastobedone。HeusedtocallinBillyFishfromBashkai，andPikkyKerganfromShu，andanoldChiefwecalledKafuzelum，——itwaslikeenoughtohisrealname，——andholdcouncilswith’emwhentherewasanyfightingtobedoneinsmallvillages。ThatwashisCouncilofWar，andthefourpriestsofBashkai，Shu，Khawak，andMadorawashisPrivyCouncil。Betweenthelotof’emtheysentme，withfortymenandtwentyrifles，andsixtymencarryingturquoises，intotheGhorbandcountrytobuythosehand-

madeMartinirifles，thatcomeoutoftheAmir’sworkshopsatKabul，fromoneoftheAmir’sHeratiregimentsthatwouldhavesoldtheveryteethoutoftheirmouthsforturquoises。

"IstayedinGhorbandamonth，andgavetheGovernortherethepickofmybasketsforhush-money，andbribedtheColoneloftheregimentsomemore，and，betweenthetwoandthetribes-people，wegotmorethanahundredhand-madeMartinis，ahundredgoodKohatJezailsthat’llthrowtosixhundredyards，andfortyman-loadsofverybadammunitionfortherifles。IcamebackwithwhatIhad，anddistributed’emamongthementhattheChiefssentintometodrill。Dravotwastoobusytoattendtothosethings，buttheoldArmythatwefirstmadehelpedme，andweturnedoutfivehundredmenthatcoulddrill，andtwohundredthatknewhowtoholdarmsprettystraight。Eventhosecork-screwed，hand-madegunswasamiracletothem。Dravottalkedbigaboutpowder-

shopsandfactories，walkingupanddowninthepinewoodwhenthewinterwascomingon。

"’Iwon’tmakeaNation，’sayshe。’I’llmakeanEmpire！Thesemenaren’tniggers;they’reEnglish！Lookattheireyes——lookattheirmouths。Lookatthewaytheystandup。Theysitonchairsintheirownhouses。They’retheLostTribes，orsomethinglikeit，andthey’vegrowntobeEnglish。I’lltakeacensusinthespringifthepriestsdon’tgetfrightened。Theremustbeafairtwomillionof’eminthesehills。Thevillagesarefullo’littlechildren。Twomillionpeople——

twohundredandfiftythousandfightingmen——andallEnglish！Theyonlywanttheriflesandalittledrilling。Twohundredandfiftythousandmen，readytocutinonRussia’srightflankwhenshetriesforIndia！Peachey，man，’hesays，chewinghisbeardingreathunks，’weshallbeEmperors——EmperorsoftheEarth！RajahBrookewillbeasucklingtous。I’lltreatwiththeViceroyonequalterms。I’llaskhimtosendmetwelvepickedEnglish——twelvethatIknowof——tohelpusgovernabit。There’sMackray，SerjeantPensioneratSegowli——

many’sthegooddinnerhe’sgivenme，andhiswifeapairoftrousers。

There’sDonkin，theWarderofTounghooJail;there’shundredsthatI

couldlaymyhandonifIwasinIndia。TheViceroyshalldoitforme;I’llsendamanthroughinthespringforthosemen，andI’llwriteforadispensationfromtheGrandLodgeforwhatI’vedoneasGrandMaster。That——andalltheSnidersthat’llbethrownoutwhenthenativetroopsinIndiatakeuptheMartini。They’llbewornsmooth，butthey’lldoforfightinginthesehills。TwelveEnglish，ahundredthousandSnidersrunthroughtheAmir’scountryindriblets，——I’dbecontentwithtwentythousandinoneyear，——andwe’dbeanEmpire。WheneverythingwasshipshapeI’dhandoverthecrown——thiscrownI’mwearingnow——toQueenVictoriaonmyknees，andshe’dsay，"Riseup，SirDanielDravot。"Oh，it’sbig！It’sbig，Itellyou！Butthere’ssomuchtobedoneineveryplace——Bashkai，Khawak，Shu，andeverywhereelse。’

"’Whatisit？’Isays。’Therearenomoremencomingintobedrilledthisautumn。Lookatthosefatblackclouds。They’rebringingthesnow。’

"’Itisn’tthat，’saysDaniel，puttinghishandveryhardonmyshoulder;’andIdon’twishtosayanythingthat’sagainstyou，fornootherlivingmanwouldhavefollowedmeandmademewhatIamasyouhavedone。You’reafirst-classCommander-in-Chief，andthepeopleknowyou;but——it’sabigcountry，andsomehowyoucan’thelpme，Peachey，inthewayIwanttobehelped。’

"’Gotoyourblastedpriests，then！’Isaid，andIwassorrywhenI

madethatremark，butitdidhurtmesoretofindDanieltalkingsosuperior，whenI’ddrilledallthemenanddoneallhetoldme。

"’Don’tlet’squarrel，Peachey，’saysDaniel，withoutcursing。

’You’reaKingtoo，andthehalfofthisKingdomisyours;butcan’tyousee，Peachey，wewantcleverermenthanusnow——threeorfourof’em，thatwecanscatteraboutforourDeputies。It’sahugeousgreatState，andIcan’talwaystelltherightthingtodo，andIhaven’ttimeforallIwanttodo，andhere’sthewintercomingonandall。’

Heputhalfhisbeardintohismouth，allredlikethegoldofhiscrown。

"’I’msorry，Daniel，’saysI。’I’vedoneallIcould。I’vedrilledthemenandshownthepeoplehowtostacktheiroatsbetter;andI’vebroughtinthosetinwareriflesfromGhorband——butIknowwhatyou’redrivingat。ItakeitKingsalwaysfeeloppressedthatway。’

"’There’sanotherthingtoo，’saysDravot，walkingupanddown。’Thewinter’scoming，andthesepeoplewon’tbegivingmuchtrouble，andiftheydowecan’tmoveabout。Iwantawife。’

"’ForGord’ssakeleavethewomenalone！’Isays。’We’vebothgotalltheworkwecan，thoughI/am/afool。RemembertheContrack，andkeepclearo’women。’

"’TheContrackonlylastedtillsuchtimeaswewasKings;andKingswehavebeenthesemonthspast，’saysDravot，weighinghiscrowninhishand。’Yougogetawifetoo，Peachey——anice，strappin’，plumpgirlthat’llkeepyouwarminthewinter。They’reprettierthanEnglishgirls，andwecantakethepickof’em。Boil’emonceortwiceinhotwater，andthey’llcomeoutlikechickenandham。’

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