Contents：

BrooksmithTheRealThingTheStoryofItFlickerbridgeMrs。MedwinBROOKSMITH

Wearescatterednow，thefriendsofthelateMr。OliverOfford;

butwheneverwechancetomeetIthinkweareconsciousofacertainesotericrespectforeachother。"Yes，youtoohavebeeninArcadia，"weseemnottoogrumpilytoallow。WhenIpassthehouseinMansfieldStreetIrememberthatArcadiawasthere。I

don’tknowwhohasitnow，anddon’twanttoknow;it’senoughtobesosurethatifIshouldringthebelltherewouldbenosuchluckformeasthatBrooksmithshouldopenthedoor。Mr。Offord，themostagreeable，themostattachingofbachelors，wasaretireddiplomatist，livingonhispensionandonsomethingofhisownoverandabove;agooddealconfined，byhisinfirmities，tohisfiresideanddelightedtobefoundthereanyafternoonintheyear，fromfiveo’clockon，bysuchvisitorsasBrooksmithallowedtocomeup。Brooksmithwashisbutlerandhismostintimatefriend，towhomweallstood，orIshouldsaysat，inthesamerelationinwhichthesubjectofthesovereignfindshimselftotheprimeminister。Byhavingbeenforyears，inforeignlands，themostdelightfulEnglishmananyonehadeverknown，Mr。Offordhadinmyopinionrenderedsignalservicetohiscountry。ButIsupposehehadbeentoomuchliked——likedevenbythosewhodidn’tlikeIT——sothataspeopleofthatsortnevergettitlesordotationsforthehorridthingsthey’veNOTdone，hisprincipalrewardwassimplythatwewenttoseehim。

Ohwewentperpetually，anditwasnotourfaultifhewasnotoverwhelmedwiththisparticularhonour。Anyvisitorwhocameoncecameagain;tocomemerelyoncewasaslightnobody，I’msure，hadeverputuponhim。Hiscirclethereforewasessentiallycomposedofhabitues，whowerehabituesforeachotheraswellasforhim，asthoseofahappysalonshouldbe。Iremembervividlyeveryelementoftheplace，downtotheintenselyLondonishlookofthegreyoppositehouses，inthegapofthewhitecurtainsofthehighwindows，andtheexactspotwhere，onaparticularafternoon，Iputdownmytea-cupforBrooksmith，lingeringaninstant，togatheritupasifhewerepluckingaflower。Mr。Offord’sdrawing-roomwasindeedBrooksmith’sgarden，hisprunedandtendedhumanparterre，andifweallflourishedthereandgrewwellinourplacesitwaslargelyowingtohissupervision。

Manypersonshaveheardmuch，thoughmosthavedoubtlessseenlittle，ofthefamousinstitutionofthesalon，andmanyareborntothedepressionofknowingthatthisfinestflowerofsocialliferefusestobloomwheretheEnglishtongueisspoken。Theexplanationisusuallythatourwomenhavenottheskilltocultivateit——thearttodirectthroughasmilingland，betweensuggestiveshores，asinuousstreamoftalk。Myaffectionate，mypiousmemoryofMr。Offordcontradictsthisinductiononly，Ifear，moreinsidiouslytoconfirmit。Thesallowandslightlysmokeddrawing-roominwhichhespentsolargeaportionofthelastyearsofhislifecertainlydeservedthedistinguishedname;butontheotherhanditcouldn’tbesaidatalltooweitsstamptoanyinterventionthrowingintoreliefthefactthattherewasnoMrs。

Offord。Thedearmanhadindeed，atthemost，beencapableofoneofthosesacrificestowhichwomenaredeemedpeculiarlyapt：hehadrecognised——undertheinfluence，insomedegree，itistrue，ofphysicalinfirmity——thatifyouwishpeopletofindyouathomeyoumustmanagenottobeout。Hehadinshortacceptedthetruthwhichmanydabblersinthesocialartareslowtolearn，thatyoumustreally，astheysay，takealine，andthattheonlywayasyetdiscoveredofbeingathomeistostayathome。Finallyhisownfiresidehadbecomeasummaryofhishabits。Whyshouldheeverhaveleftit？——sincethiswouldhavebeenleavingwhatwasnotoriouslypleasantestinLondon，thecompactcharmedcluster（thinningawayindeedintocasualcouples）roundthefineoldlast-

centurychimney-piecewhich，withtheexceptionoftheremarkablecollectionofminiatures，wasthebestthingtheplacecontained。

Mr。Offordwasn’trich;hehadnothingbuthispensionandtheuseforlifeofthesomewhatsuperannuatedhouse。

WhenI’mremindedbysomeopposeddiscomfortofthepresenthourhowperfectlywewereallhandledthere，Iaskmyselfoncemorewhathadbeenthesecretofsuchperfection。Onehadtakenitforgrantedatthetime，foranythingthatissupremelygoodproducesmoreacceptancethansurprise。Ifeltwewereallhappy，butI

didn’tconsiderhowourhappinesswasmanaged。Andyettherewerequestionstobeasked，questionsthatstrikemeassingularlyobviousnowthatthere’snobodytoanswerthem。Mr。Offordhadsolvedtheinsoluble;hehad，withoutfemininehelp——saveinthesensethatladiesweredyingtocometohimandthathesavedthelivesofseveral——establishedasalon;butImighthaveguessedthattherewasamethodinhismadness，alawinhissuccess。Hehadn’thititoffbyamerefluke。Therewasanartinitall，andhowwastheartsohidden？Whoindeedifitcametothatwastheoccultartist？LaunchingthisinquirytheotherdayIhadalreadygotholdofthetailofmyreply。Iwashelpedbytheverywonderofsomeoftheconditionsthatcamebacktome——thosethatusedtoseemasnaturalassunshineinafineclimate。

Howwasitforinstancethatweneverwereacrowd，nevereithertoomanyortoofew，alwaystherightpeopleWITHtherightpeople——

theremustreallyhavebeennowrongpeopleatall——alwayscomingandgoing，neverstickingfastnoroverstaying，yetneverpoppinginoroutwithanindecorousfamiliarity？Howwasitthatweallsatwherewewantedandmovedwhenwewantedandmetwhomwewantedandescapedwhomwewanted;joining，accordingtotheaccidentofinclination，thegeneralcircleorfallinginwithasingletalkeronaconvenientsofa？Whywereallthesofassoconvenient，theaccidentssohappy，thetalkerssoready，thelistenerssowilling，thesubjectspresentedtoyouinarotationasquicklyforeordainedasthecoursesatdinner？Adearthoftopicswouldhavebeenasunheardofasalapseintheservice。Thesespeculationscouldn’tfailtoleadmetothefundamentaltruththatBrooksmithhadbeensomehowatthebottomofthemystery。Ifhehadn’testablishedthesalonatleasthehadcarriediton。Brooksmithinshortwastheartist！

Wefeltthiscovertlyatthetime，withoutformulatingit，andwereconscious，asanorderedandprosperouscommunity，ofhiseven-

handedjustice，alluntaintedwithflunkeyism。Hehadnoneofthatvulgarity——histouchwasinfinitelyfine。Thedelicacyofitwascleartomeonthefirstoccasionmyeyesrested，astheyweresooftentorestagain，onthedomesticrevealed，intheturbidlightofthestreet，bytheopeningofthehouse-door。Isawonthespotthatthoughhehadplentyofschoolhecarrieditwithoutarrogance——hehadremainedarticulateandhuman。L’EcoleAnglaiseMr。Offordusedlaughinglytocallhimwhen，lateron，ithappenedmorethanoncethatwehadsomeconversationabouthim。ButI

rememberaccusingMr。Offordofnotdoinghimquiteidealjustice。

Thathewasn’toneofthegiantsoftheschool，however，wasadmittedbymyoldfriend，whoreallyunderstoodhimperfectlyandwasdevotedtohim，asIshallshow;whichdoubtlesspoorBrooksmithhadhimselffelt，tohiscost，whenhisvalueinthemarketwasoriginallydetermined。Theutilityofhisclassingeneralisestimatedbythefootandtheinch，andpoorBrooksmithhadonlyaboutfivefeetthreetoputintocirculation。Heacknowledgedtheinadequacyofthisprovision，andI’msurewaspenetratedwiththeeverlastingfitnessoftherelationbetweenserviceandstature。IfHEhadbeenMr。OffordhecertainlywouldhavefoundBrooksmithwanting，andindeedthelaxityofhisemployeronthisscorewasoneofmanythingshehadhadtocondoneandtowhichhehadatlastindulgentlyadaptedhimself。

Iremembertheoldman’ssayingtome："Ohmyservants，iftheycanlivewithmeafortnighttheycanlivewithmeforever。Butit’sthefirstfortnightthattries’em。"ItwasinthefirstfortnightforinstancethatBrooksmithhadhadtolearnthathewasexposedtobeingaddressedas"mydearfellow"and"mypoorchild。"

Strangeanddeepmustsuchaprobationhavebeentohim，andhedoubtlessemergedfromittemperedandpurified。Thiswaswrittentoacertainextentinhisappearance;inhissparebrisklittleperson，inhiscloisteredwhitefaceandextraordinarilypolishedhair，whichtoldofresponsibility，lookedasifitwerekeptuptothesamehighstandardastheplate;inhissmallclearanxiouseyes，eveninthepermitted，thoughnotexactlyencouraged，tuftonhischin。"Hethinksmerathermad，butI’vebrokenhimin，andnowhelikestheplace，helikesthecompany，"saidtheoldman。I

embracedthisfullyafterIhadbecomeawarethatBrooksmith’smaincharacteristicwasadeepandshyrefinement，thoughIrememberI

wasratherpuzzledwhen，onanotheroccasion，Mr。Offordremarked：

"Whathelikesisthetalk——minglingintheconversation。"IwasconsciousIhadneverseenBrooksmithpermithimselfthisfreedom，butIguessedinamomentthatwhatMr。Offordalludedtowasaparticipationmoreintensethananyspeechcouldhaverepresented——

thatofbeingperpetuallypresentonahundredlegitimatepretexts，errands，necessities，andbreathingtheveryatmosphereofcriticism，thefamouscriticismoflife。"Quiteaneducation，sir，isn’tit，sir？"hesaidtomeonedayatthefootofthestairswhenhewaslettingmeout;andI’vealwaysrememberedthewordsandthetoneasthefirstsignofthequickeningdramaofpoorBrooksmith’sfate。Itwasindeedaneducation，buttowhatwasthissensitiveyoungmanofthirty-five，oftheservileclass，beingeducated？

Practicallyandinevitably，forthetime，tocompanionship，totheperpetual，theevenexaggeratedreferenceandappealofapersonbroughttodependencebyhistimeoflifeandhisinfirmitiesandalwaysaddictedmoreover——thiswastheexaggeration——totheartofgivingyoupleasurebylettingyoudothingsforhim。TherewerecertainthingsMr。Offordwascapableofpretendinghelikedyoutodoevenwhenhedidn’t——this，Imean，ifhethoughtYOUlikedthem。

Ifithappenedthatyoudidn’teither——whichwasrare，yetmightbe——ofcoursetherewerecross-purposes;butBrooksmithwastheretopreventtheirgoingveryfar。Thiswaspreciselythewayheactedasmoderator;heavertedmisunderstandingsorclearedthemup。Hehadbeencapable，strangeasitmayappear，ofacquiringforthispurposeaninsightintotheFrenchtongue，whichwasoftenusedatMr。Offord’s;forbesidesbeinghabitualtomostoftheforeigners，andtheyweremany，whohauntedtheplaceorarrivedwithletters——lettersoftenrequiringalittleworriedconsideration，ofwhichBrooksmithalwayshadcognisance——ithadreallybecometheprimarylanguageofthemasterofthehouse。I

don’tknowifallthemalentenduswereinFrench，butalmostalltheexplanationswere，andthisdidn’tabitpreventBrooksmith’sfollowingthem。IknowMr。OffordusedtoreadpassagestohimfromMontaigneandSaint-Simon，forhereadperpetuallywhenalone——

whenTHEYwerealone，thatis——andBrooksmithwasalwaysabout。

Perhapsyou’llsaynowonderMr。Offord’sbutlerregardedhimas"rathermad。"However，ifI’mnotsurewhathethoughtaboutMontaigneI’mconvincedheadmiredSaint-Simon。Acertainfeelingforlettersmusthaverubbedoffonhimfromthemerehandlingofhismaster’sbooks，whichhewasalwayscarryingtoandfroandputtingbackintheirplaces。

Ioftennoticedthatifananecdoteoraquotation，muchmorealivelydiscussion，wasgoingforward，hewould，ifbusywiththefireorthecurtains，thelamporthetea，findapretextforremainingintheroomtillthepointshouldbereached。Ifhispurposewastocatchityouweren’tdiscreet，youwereinfactscarcehuman，tocallhimoff，andIshallneverforgetalook，ahardstonystare——Icaughtitinitspassage——which，onedaywhentherewereagoodmanypeopleintheroom，hefasteneduponthefootmanwhowashelpinghimintheserviceandwho，inanundertone，hadaskedhimsomeirrelevantquestion。ItwastheonlymanifestationofharshnessIeverobservedonBrooksmith’spart，andIatfirstwonderedwhatwasthematter。ThenIbecameconsciousthatMr。Offordwasrelatingaverycuriousanecdote，neverbeforeperhapsmadesopublic，andimpartedtothenarratorbyaneye-witnessofthefact，bearingonLordByron’slifeinItaly。Nothingwouldinducemetoreproduceithere，butBrooksmithhadbeenindangeroflosingit。IfIevershouldventuretoreproduceitIshallfeelhowmuchIloseinnothavingmyfellowauditortoreferto。

ThefirstdayMrOfford’sdoorwasclosedwasthereforeadarkdateincontemporaryhistory。Itwasraininghardandmyumbrellawaswet，butBrooksmithreceiveditfrommeexactlyasifthiswereapreliminaryforgoingupstairs。Iobservedhoweverthatinsteadofputtingitawayhehelditpoisedandtricklingovertherug，andI

thenbecameawarethathewaslookingatmewithdeepacknowledgingeyes——hisairofuniversalresponsibility。Iimmediatelyunderstood——therewasscarceneedofquestionandanswerastheypassedbetweenus。WhenItookinthatourgoodfriendhadgivenupasneverbefore，thoughonlyfortheoccasion，Iexclaimeddolefully："Whatadifferenceitwillmake——andtohowmanypeople！"

"Ishallbeoneofthem，sir！"saidBrooksmith;andthatwasthebeginningoftheend。

Mr。Offordcamedownagain，butthespellwasbroken，thegreatsignbeingthattheconversationwasforthefirsttimenotdirected。Itwanderedandstumbled，alittlefrightened，likealostchild——ithadletgothenurse’shand。"Theworstofitisthatnowweshalltalkaboutmyhealth——c’estlafindetout，"Mr。

Offordsaidwhenhereappeared;andthenIrecognisedwhatanoteofchangethatwouldbe——forhehadnevertoleratedanythingsoprovincial。We"ran"toeachother’shealthaslittleastothedailyweather。Thetalkbecameours，inaword——nothis;andasours，evenwhenHEtalked，itcouldonlybeinferior。InthisformitwasadistresstoBrooksmith，whoseattentionnowwanderedfromitaltogether：hehadsomuchcloseravisionofhismaster’sintimateconditionsthanoursuperficialitiesrepresented。Therewerebetterhours，andhewasmoreinandoutoftheroom，butI

couldseehewasconsciousofthedecline，almostofthecollapse，ofourgreatinstitution。Heseemedtowishtotakecounselwithmeaboutit，tofeelresponsibleforitsgoingoninsomeformorother。Whenforthesecondperiod——thefirsthadlastedseveraldays——hehadtotellmethathisemployerdidn’treceive，Ihalfexpectedtohearhimsayafteramoment"DoyouthinkIoughtto，sir，inhisplace？"——ashemighthaveaskedme，withthereturnofautumn，ifIthoughthehadbetterlightthedrawing-roomfire。

Hehadaresignedphilosophicsenseofwhathisguests——ourguests，asIcametoregardtheminourcolloquies——wouldexpect。Hisfeelingwasthathewouldn’tabsolutelyhaveapprovedofhimselfasasubstituteforMr。Offord;buthewassosaturatedwiththereligionofhabitthathewouldhavemade，forourfriends，thenecessarysacrificetothedivinity。Hewouldtakethemonalittlefurtherandtilltheycouldlookaboutthem。IthinkIsawhimalsomentallyconfrontedwiththeopportunitytodeal——foronceinhislife——withsomeofhisowndumbpreferences，hislimitationsofsympathy，WEEDINGalittleinprospectandreturningtoapurertradition。Itwasnotunknowntomethatheconsideredthattowardtheendofourhost’scareeracertainlaxityofselectionhadcreptin。

Atlastitcametobethecasethatweallfoundthecloseddoormoreoftenthantheopenone;butevenwhenitwasclosedBrooksmithmanagedacrackformetosqueezethrough;sothatpracticallyIneverturnedawaywithouthavingpaidavisit。ThedifferencesimplycametobethatthevisitwastoBrooksmith。Ittookplaceinthehall，atthefamiliarfootofthestairs，andwedidn’tsitdown，atleastBrooksmithdidn’t;moreoveritwasdevotedwhollytoonetopicandalwayshadtheairofbeingalreadyover——beginning，sotosay，attheend。Butitwasalwaysinteresting——italwaysgavemesomethingtothinkabout。It’struethatthesubjectofmymeditationwaseverthesame——ever"It’sallverywell，butwhatWILLbecomeofBrooksmith？"Evenmyprivateanswertothisquestionleftmestillunsatisfied。NodoubtMr。

Offordwouldprovideforhim，butWHATwouldheprovide？——thatwasthegreatpoint。Hecouldn’tprovidesociety;andsocietyhadbecomeanecessityofBrooksmith’snature。ImustaddthathenevershowedasymptomofwhatImaycallsordidsolicitude——

anxietyonhisownaccount。Hewasratherlividandintenselygrave，asbefittedamanbeforewhoseeyesthe"shadeofthatwhichoncewasgreat"waspassingaway。Hehadthesolemnityofapersonwindingup，underdepressingcircumstances，along-establishedandcelebratedbusiness;hewasakindofsocialexecutororliquidator。ButhismannerseemedtotestifyexclusivelytotheuncertaintyofOURfuture。Icouldn’tinthosedayshaveaffordedit——IlivedintworoomsinJermynStreetanddidn’t"keepaman";

butevenifmyincomehadpermittedIshouldn’thaveventuredtosaytoBrooksmith（emulatingMr。Offord）"Mydearfellow，I’lltakeyouon。"ThewholetoneofourintercoursewassomuchmoreanimplicationthatitwasIwhoshouldnowwantalift。IndeedtherewasatacitassuranceinBrooksmith’swholeattitudethatheshouldhavemeonhismind。

OneofthemostassiduousmembersofourcirclehadbeenLadyKenyon，andIrememberhistellingmeonedaythatherladyshiphadinspiteofherowninfirmities，latelymuchaggravated，beeninpersontoinquire。InanswertothisIremarkedthatshewouldfeelitmorethananyone。Brooksmithhadapausebeforesayinginacertaintone——there’snoreproducingsomeofhistones——"I’llgoandseeher。"Iwenttoseehermyselfandlearnedhehadwaitedonher;butwhenIsaidtoher，intheformofajokebutwithacoreofearnest，thatwhenallwasoversomeofusoughttocombine，toclubtogether，andsetBrooksmithuponhisownaccount，sherepliedatrifledisappointingly："Doyoumeaninapublic-house？"IlookedatherinawaythatIthinkBrooksmithhimselfwouldhaveapproved，andthenIanswered："Yes，theOffordArms。"WhatIhadmeantofcoursewasthatfortheloveofartitselfweoughttolooktoitthatsuchapeculiarfacultyandsomuchacquiredexperienceshouldn’tbewasted。Ireallythinkthatifwehadcausedafewblack-edgedcardstobestruckoffandcirculated——"Mr。Brooksmithwillcontinuetoreceiveontheoldpremisesfromfourtoseven;businesscarriedonasusualduringthealterations"——thegreaternumberofuswouldhaverallied。

Severaltimeshetookmeupstairs——alwaysbyhisownproposal——andourdearoldfriend，inbed（inacuriousfloweredandbrocadedcasaquewhichmadehim，especiallyashisheadwastiedupinahandkerchieftomatch，look，tomyimagination，likethedyingVoltaire）heldfortenminutesasadlyshrunkenlittlesalon。I

feltindeedeachtimeasifIwereattendingthelastcoucherofsomesocialsovereign。Hewasroyallywhimsicalabouthissufferingsandnotatallconcerned——quiteasiftheConstitutionprovidedforthecaseabouthissuccessor。HeglidedoverOUR

sufferingscharmingly，andnoneofhisjokes——itwasagallantabstention，someofthemwouldhavebeensoeasy——wereatourexpense。Nowandagain，Iconfess，therewasoneatBrooksmith’s，butsopatheticallysociableastomaketheexcellentmanlookatmeinawaythatseemedtosay："Doexchangeaglancewithme，orIshan’tbeabletostandit。"Whathewasn’tabletostandwasnotwhatMr。Offordsaidabouthim，butwhathewasn’tabletosayinreturn。Hisideaofconversationforhimselfwasgivingyoutheconvenienceofspeakingtohim;andwhenhewentto"see"LadyKenyonforinstanceitwastocarryherthetributeofhisreceptivesilence。Wherewouldthespeechofhisbettershavebeenifproperservicehadbeenamanifestationofsound？Inthatcasethefundamentaldifferencewouldhavehadtobeshownbytheirdumbness，andmanyofthem，poorthings，weredumbenoughwithoutthatprovision。Brooksmithtookanunfailinginterestinthepreservationofthefundamentaldifference;itwasthethinghehadmostonhisconscience。

WhathadbecomeofithoweverwhenMr。Offordpassedawaylikeanyinferiorperson——wasrelegatedtoeternalstillnessafterthemannerofabutlerabove-stairs？Hisaspectontheevent——fortheseveralsuccessivedays——maybeimagined，andthemultiplicationbyfunerealobservanceofthethingshedidn’tsay。Wheneverythingwasover——itwaslatethesameday——IknockedatthedoorofthehouseofmourningasIsooftenhaddonebefore。IcouldnevercallonMr。Offordagain，butIhadcomeliterallytocallonBrooksmith。IwantedtoaskhimiftherewasanythingIcoulddoforhim，taintedwithvaguenessasthisinquirycouldonlybe。Mypresumptuousdreamoftakinghimintomyownservicehaddiedaway：

myservicewasn’tworthhisbeingtakeninto。Myoffercouldonlybetohelphimtofindanotherplace，andyettherewasanindelicacy，asitwere，intakingforgrantedthathisthoughtswouldimmediatelybefixedonanother。Ihadahopethathewouldbeabletogivehislifeadifferentform——thoughcertainlynottheform，thefrequentresultofsuchbereavements，ofhissettingupalittleshop。Thatwouldhavebeendreadful;forIshouldhavewishedtoforwardanyenterprisehemightembarkin，yethowcouldIhavebroughtmyselftogoandpayhimshillingsandtakebackcoppers，overacounter？Myvisitthenwassimplyanintendedcompliment。Hetookitassuch，gratefullyandwithallthetactintheworld。HeknewIreallycouldn’thelphimandthatIknewheknewIcouldn’t;butwediscussedthesituation——withagooddealofelegantgenerality——atthefootofthestairs，inthehallalreadydismantled，whereIhadsooftendiscussedothersituationswithhim。Theexecutorswereinpossession，aswasstillmoreapparentwhenhemademepassforafewminutesintothedining-

room，wherevariousobjectsweremuffledupforremoval。

Twodefinitefacts，however，hehadtocommunicate;onebeingthathewastoleavethehouseforeverthatnight（servants，forsomemysteriousreason，seemalwaystodepartbynight），andtheother——

hementioneditonlyatthelastandwithhesitation——thathewasalreadyawarehislatemasterhadlefthimalegacyofeightypounds。"I’mveryglad，"Isaid，andBrooksmithwasofthesamemind："Itwassolikehimtothinkofme。"Thiswasallthatpassedbetweenusonthesubject，andIknownothingofhisjudgementofMr。Offord’smemento。Eightypoundsarealwayseightypounds，andnoonehaseverleftMEanequalsum;but，allthesame，forBrooksmith，Iwasdisappointed。Idon’tknowwhatIhadexpected，butitwasalmostashock。Eightypoundsmightstockasmallshop——aVERYsmallshop;but，Irepeat，Icouldn’tbeartothinkofthat。Iaskedmyfriendifhehadbeenabletosavealittle，andhereplied："No，sir;I’vehadtodothings。"I

didn’tinquirewhatthingstheymighthavebeen;theywerehisownaffair，andItookhiswordforthemasassentinglyasifhehadhadthegreatnessofanancienthousetokeepup;especiallyastherewassomethinginhismannerthatseemedtoconveyaprospectoffurthersacrifice。

"Ishallhavetoturnroundabit，sir——Ishallhavetolookaboutme，"hesaid;andthenheaddedindulgently，magnanimously："Ifyoushouldhappentohearofanythingforme——"

Icouldn’tlethimfinish;thiswas，initsessence，toomuchinthereallygrandmanner。ItwouldbeahelptomygettinghimoffmymindtobeabletopretendICOULDfindtherightplace，andthathelphewishedtogiveme，foritwasdoubtlesspainfultohimtoseemeinsofalseaposition。IinterposedwithafewwordstotheeffectofhowwellawareIwasthatwhereverheshouldgo，whateverheshoulddo，hewouldmissouroldfriendterribly——misshimevenmorethanIshould，havingbeenwithhimsomuchmore。

Thisledhimtomakethespeechthathasremainedwithmeastheverytextofthewholeepisode。

"Ohsir，it’ssadforYOU，verysadindeed，andforagreatmanygentlemenandladies;thatitis，sir。Butforme，sir，itis，ifImaysayso，stillgravereventhanthat：it’sjustthelossofsomethingthatwaseverything。Forme，sir，"hewentonwithrisingtears，"hewasjustALL，ifyouknowwhatImean，sir。Youhaveothers，sir，Idaresay——notthatIwouldhaveyouunderstandmetospeakofthemasinanywaytantamount。Butyouhavethepleasuresofsociety，sir;ifit’sonlyintalkingabouthim，sir，asIdaresayyoudofreely——forallhisblestmemoryhastofearfromit——withgentlemenandladieswhohavehadthesamehonour。

That’snotforme，sir，andI’vetokeepmyassociationstomyself。

Mr。OffordwasMYsociety，andnow，yousee，Ijusthaven’tany。

Yougobacktoconversation，sir，afterall，andIgobacktomyplace，"Brooksmithstammered，withoutexaggeratedironyordramaticbitterness，butwithaflatunstudiedveracityandhishandontheknobofthestreet-door。Heturnedittoletmeoutandthenheadded："Ijustgodownstairs，sir，again，andIstaythere。"

"Mypoorchild，"Irepliedinmyemotion，quiteasMr。Offordusedtospeak，"mydearfellow，leaveittome：WE’LLlookafteryou，we’llalldosomethingforyou。"

"AhifyoucouldgivemesomeoneLIKEhim！Butthereain’ttwosuchintheworld，"Brooksmithsaidasweparted。

Hehadgivenmehisaddress——theplacewherehewouldbetobeheardof。ForalongtimeIhadnooccasiontomakeuseoftheinformation：heprovedontrialsoverydifficultacase。ThepeoplewhoknewhimandhadknownMr。Offorddidn’twanttotakehim，andyetIcouldn’tbeartotrytothrusthimamongstrangers——

strangerstohispastwhennottohispresent。IspoketomanyofouroldfriendsabouthimandfoundthemallgovernedbytheoddmixtureoffeelingsofwhichImyselfwasconscious——aswellasdisposed，further，toentertainasuspicionthathewas"spoiled，"

withwhich，Ithenwouldhavenothingtodo。Inplaintermsacertainembarrassment，asensibleawkwardnesswhentheythoughtofit，attachedtotheideaofusinghimasamenial：theyhadmethimsoofteninsociety。Manyofthemwouldhaveaskedhim，anddidaskhim，orratherdidaskmetoaskhim，tocomeandseethem，butamerevisiting-listwasnotwhatIwantedforhim。Hewastooshortforpeoplewhowereveryparticular;neverthelessIheardofanopeninginadiplomatichouseholdwhichledmetowritehimanote，thoughIwaslookingmuchlessforsomethinggrandthanforsomethinghuman。FivedayslaterIheardfromhim。Thesecretary’swifehaddecided，afterkeepinghimwaitingtillthen，thatshecouldn’ttakeaservantoutofahouseinwhichtherehadn’tbeenalady。ThenotehadaP。S。："It’sagoodjobtherewasn’t，sir，suchaladyassome。"

Aweeklaterhecametoseemeandtoldmehewas"suited，"

committedtosomehighlyrespectablepeople——theyweresomethingquiteimmenseintheCity——wholivedontheBayswatersideofthePark。"Idaresayitwillberatherpoor，sir，"headmitted;"butI’veseenthefireworks，haven’tI，sir？——itcan’tbefireworksEVERYnight。AfterMansfieldStreetthereain’tmuchchoice。"

Therewasacertainamount，however，itseemed;forthefollowingyear，callingonedayonacountrycousin，aladyofacertainagewhowasspendingafortnightintownwithsomefriendsofherown，afamilyunknowntomeandresidentinChesterSquare，thedoorofthehousewasopened，tomysurpriseandgratification，byBrooksmithinperson。WhenIcameoutIhadsomeconversationwithhimfromwhichIgatheredthathehadfoundthelargeCitypeopletoodullforendurance，andIguessed，thoughhedidn’tsayit，thathehadfoundthemvulgaraswell。Idon’tknowwhatjudgementhewouldhavepassedonhisactualpatronsifmyrelativehadn’tbeentheirfriend;butinviewofthatconnexionheabstainedfromcomment。

Nonewasnecessary，however，forbeforetheladyinquestionbroughthervisittoaclosetheyhonouredmewithaninvitationtodinner，whichIaccepted。Therewasalargeishpartyontheoccasion，butIconfessIthoughtofBrooksmithrathermorethanoftheseatedcompany。Theyrequirednodepthofattention——theywereallreferabletousualirredeemableinevitabletypes。Itwastheworldofcheerfulcommonplaceandconsciousgentilityandprosperousdensity，afull-fedmaterialinsularworld，aworldofhideousfloridplateandponderousorderandthinconversation。

Therewasn’tawordsaidaboutByron，orevenaboutaminorbardthenmuchinview。NothingwouldhaveinducedmetolookatBrooksmithinthecourseoftherepast，andIfeltsurethatnotevenmyoverturningthewinewouldhaveinducedhimtomeetmyeye。

Wewereinintellectualsympathy——wefelt，asregardseachother，adegreeofsocialresponsibility。InshortwehadbeeninArcadiatogether，andwehadbothcometoTHIS！Nowonderwewereashamedtobeconfronted。Whenhehadhelpedonmyovercoat，asIwasgoingaway，weparted，forthefirsttimesincetheearliestdaysofMansfieldStreet，insilence。Ithoughthelookedleanandwasted，andIguessedthathisnewplacewasn’tmore"human"thanhispreviousone。Therewasplentyofbeefandbeer，buttherewasnoreciprocity。Thequestionforhimtohaveaskedbeforeacceptingthepositionwouldn’thavebeen"Howmanyfootmenarekept？"but"Howmuchimagination？"

ThenexttimeIwenttothehouse——Iconfessitwasn’tverysoon——I

encounteredhissuccessor，apersonagewhoevidentlyenjoyedthegoodfortuneofneverhavingquittedhisnaturallevel。Couldanybehigher？heseemedtoask——overtheheadsofthreefootmenandevenofsomevisitors。HemademefeelasifBrooksmithweredead;

butIdidn’tdaretoinquire——Icouldn’thavebornehis"Ihaven’ttheleastidea，sir。"IdespatchedanotetotheaddressthatworthyhadgivenmeafterMr。Offord’sdeath，butIreceivednoanswer。SixmonthslaterhoweverIwasfavouredwithavisitfromanelderlydrearydingypersonwhointroducedherselftomeasMr。

Brooksmith’sauntandfromwhomIlearnedthathewasoutofplaceandoutofhealthandhadallowedhertocomeandsaytomethatifIcouldsparehalfanhourtolookinathimhewouldtakeitasararehonour。

Iwentthenextday——hismessengerhadgivenmeanewaddress——andfoundmyfriendlodgedinashortsordidstreetinMarylebone，oneofthosecornersofLondonthatwearthelastexpressionofsicklymeanness。TheroomintowhichIwasshownwasabovethesmallestablishmentofadyerandcleanerwhohadinflatedkidglovesanddiscolouredshawlsinhisshop-front。Therewasagreatdealofgrimyinfantlifeupanddowntheplace，andtherewasahotmoistsmellwithin，asofthe"boiling"ofdirtylinen。Brooksmithsatwithablanketoverhislegsatacleanlittlewindowwhere，frombehindstiffbluish-whitecurtains，hecouldlookacrossatahuckster’sandatinsmith’sandasmallgreasypublic-house。Hehadpassedthroughanillnessandwasconvalescent，andhismother，aswellashisaunt，wasinattendanceonhim。Ilikedthenearerrelative，whowasblandandintenselyhumble，butIhadmydoubtsoftheremoter，whomIconnectedperhapsunjustlywiththeoppositepublic-house——sheseemedsomehowgreasywiththesamegrease——andwhosefurtiveeyefollowedeverymovementofmyhandastoseeifitweren’tgoingintomypocket。Itdidn’ttakethisdirection——I

couldn’t，unsolicited，putmyselfatthatsortofeasewithBrooksmith。Severaltimesthedooroftheroomopenedandmysteriousoldwomenpeepedinandshuffledbackagain。Idon’tknowwhotheywere;poorBrooksmithseemedencompassedwithvaguepryingbeeryfemales。

Hewasvaguehimself，andevidentlyweak，andmuchembarrassed，andnotanallusionwasmadebetweenustoMansfieldStreet。Thevisionofthesalonofwhichhehadbeenanornamenthoveredbeforemehowever，bycontrast，sufficiently。Heassuredmehewasreallygettingbetter，andhismotherremarkedthathewouldcomeroundifhecouldonlygethisspiritsup。Theauntechoedthisopinion，andIbecamemoresurethatinherowncasesheknewwheretogoforsuchapurpose。I’mafraidIwasratherweakwithmyoldfriend，forIneglectedtheopportunity，soexceptionallygood，torebukethelevitywhichhadledhimtothrowuphonourablepositions——finestiffsteadyberthsinBayswaterandBelgravia，withmorningprayers，asIknew，attachedtooneofthem。Verylikelyhisreasonshadbeenprofaneandsentimental;hedidn’twantmorningprayers，hewantedtobesomebody’sdearfellow;butI

couldn’tbethepersontorebukehim。Heshuffledtheseepisodesoutofsight——Isawhehadnowishtodiscussthem。Inotedfurther，strangelyenough，thatitwouldprobablybeaquestionablepleasureforhimtoseemeagain：hedoubtednowevenofmypowertocondonehisaberrations。Hedidn’twishtohavetoexplain;andhisbehaviourwaslikelyinfuturetoneedexplanation。WhenI

badehimfarewellhelookedatmeamomentwitheyesthatsaideverything："HowcanItalkaboutthoseexquisiteyearsinthisplace，beforethesepeople，withtheoldwomenpokingtheirheadsin？Itwasverygoodofyoutocometoseeme;itwasn’tmyidea——

SHEbroughtyou。We’vesaideverything;it’sover;you’llloseallpatiencewithme，andI’dratheryoushouldn’tseetherest。"I

senthimsomemoneyinaletterthenextday，butIsawtherestonlyinthelightofabarrensequel。

AwholeyearaftermyvisittohimIbecameawareonce，indiningout，thatBrooksmithwasoneoftheseveralservantswhohoveredbehindourchairs。Hehadn’topenedthedoorofthehousetome，norhadIrecognisedhiminthearrayofretainersinthehall。

ThistimeItriedtocatchhiseye，buthenevergavemeachance，andwhenhehandedmeadishIcouldonlybecarefultothankhimaudibly。IndeedIpartookoftwoentreesofwhichIhadmydoubts，subsequentlyconvertedintocertainties，inordernottosnubhim。

Helookedwellenoughinhealth，butmucholder，andworeinanexceptionallymarkeddegreetheglazedandexpressionlessmaskoftheBritishdomesticderace。IsawwithdismaythatifIhadn’tknownhimIshouldhavetakenhim，ontheshowingofhiscountenance，foranextravagantillustrationofirresponsiveservilegloom。Isaidtomyselfthathehadbecomeareactionary，goneovertothePhilistines，thrownhimselfintoreligion，thereligionofhis"place，"likeaforeignladysurleretour。I

divinedmoreoverthathewasonlyengagedfortheevening——hehadbecomeamerewaiter，hadjoinedthebandofthewhite-waistcoatedwho"goout。"Therewassomethingpatheticinthisfact——itwasaterriblevulgarisationofBrooksmith。Itwasthemercenaryproseofbutlerhood;hehadgivenupthestruggleforthepoetry。Ifreciprocitywaswhathehadmissedwherewasthereciprocitynow？

Onlyinthebottomsofthewine-glassesandthefiveshillings——orwhatevertheyget——clappedintohishandbythepermanentman。

However，Isupposedhehadtakenupaprecariousbranchofhisprofessionbecauseitafterallsenthimlessdownstairs。HisrelationswithLondonsocietyweremoresuperficial，buttheywereofcoursemorevarious。AsIwentawayonthisoccasionIlookedoutforhimeagerlyamongthefourorfiveattendantswhoseperpendicularpersons，flutingthewallsofLondonpassages，aresupposedtolubricatetheprocessofdeparture;buthewasnotonduty。Iaskedoneoftheothersifhewerenotinthehouse，andreceivedthepromptanswer："Justleft，sir。AnythingIcandoforyou，sir？"Iwantedtosay"Pleasegivehimmykindregards";

butIabstained——Ididn’twanttocompromisehim;andInevercameacrosshimagain。

Oftenandoften，indiningout，Ilookedforhim，sometimesacceptinginvitationsonpurposetomultiplythechancesofmymeetinghim。Butalwaysinvain;sothatasImetmanyothermembersofthecasualclassoverandoveragainIatlastadoptedthetheorythathealwaysprocuredalistofexpectedguestsbeforehandandkeptawayfromthebanquetswhichhethuslearnedI

wastograce。AtlastIgaveuphope，andonedayattheendofthreeyearsIreceivedanothervisitfromhisaunt。Shewasdrearieranddingier，almostsqualid，andshewasingreattribulationandwant。Hersister，Mrs。Brooksmith，hadbeendeadayear，andthreemonthslaterhernephewhaddisappeared。Hehadalwayslookedafterherabitsincehertroubles;Ineverknewwhathertroubleshadbeen——andnowshehadn’tsomuchasapetticoattopawn。Shehadalsoaniece，towhomshehadbeeneverythingbeforehertroubles，buttheniecehadtreatedhermostshameful。Theseweredetails;thegreatandromanticfactwasBrooksmith’sfinalevasionofhisfate。Hehadgoneouttowaitoneeveningasusual，inawhitewaistcoatshehaddoneupforhimwithherownhands——

beingdueatalargepartyupKensingtonway。Buthehadnevercomehomeagainandhadneverarrivedatthelargeparty，noratanypartythatanyonecouldmakeout。Notraceofhimhadcometolight——nogleamofthewhitewaistcoathadpiercedtheobscurityofhisdoom。Thisnewswasasharpshocktome，forIhadmyideasabouthisrealdestination。Hisagedrelativehadpromptly，asshesaid，guessedtheworst。Somehow，andsomewherehehadgotoutofthewayaltogether，andnowItrustthat，withcharacteristicdeliberation，heischangingtheplatesoftheimmortalgods。Asmydepressingvisitantalsosaid，heneverHADgothisspiritsup。

Iwasfortunatelyabletodismissherwithherownsomewhatimproved。ButthedimghostofpoorBrooksmithisoneofthosethatIsee。Hehadindeedbeenspoiled。

THEREALTHING

CHAPTERI

Whentheporter’swife，whousedtoanswerthehouse-bell，announced"Agentlemanandalady，sir，"Ihad，asIoftenhadinthosedays——thewishbeingfathertothethought——animmediatevisionofsitters。Sittersmyvisitorsinthiscaseprovedtobe;

butnotinthesenseIshouldhavepreferred。Therewasnothingatfirsthowevertoindicatethattheymightn’thavecomeforaportrait。Thegentleman，amanoffifty，veryhighandverystraight，withamoustacheslightlygrizzledandadarkgreywalking-coatadmirablyfitted，bothofwhichInotedprofessionally——Idon’tmeanasabarberoryetasatailor——wouldhavestruckmeasacelebrityifcelebritiesoftenwerestriking。

ItwasatruthofwhichIhadforsometimebeenconsciousthatafigurewithagooddealoffrontagewas，asonemightsay，almostneverapublicinstitution。Aglanceattheladyhelpedtoremindmeofthisparadoxicallaw：shealsolookedtoodistinguishedtobea"personality。"Moreoveronewouldscarcelycomeacrosstwovariationstogether。

Neitherofthepairimmediatelyspoke——theyonlyprolongedthepreliminarygazesuggestingthateachwishedtogivetheotherachance。Theywerevisiblyshy;theystoodtherelettingmetakethemin——which，asIafterwardsperceived，wasthemostpracticalthingtheycouldhavedone。Inthiswaytheirembarrassmentservedtheircause。Ihadseenpeoplepainfullyreluctanttomentionthattheydesiredanythingsogrossastoberepresentedoncanvas;butthescruplesofmynewfriendsappearedalmostinsurmountable。Yetthegentlemanmighthavesaid"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmywife，"andtheladymighthavesaid"Ishouldlikeaportraitofmyhusband。"Perhapstheyweren’thusbandandwife——thisnaturallywouldmakethemattermoredelicate。Perhapstheywishedtobedonetogether——inwhichcasetheyoughttohavebroughtathirdpersontobreakthenews。

"WecomefromMr。Rivet，"theladyfinallysaidwithadimsmilethathadtheeffectofamoistspongepassedovera"sunk"pieceofpainting，aswellasofavagueallusiontovanishedbeauty。Shewasastallandstraight，inherdegree，ashercompanion，andwithtenyearslesstocarry。Shelookedassadasawomancouldlookwhosefacewasnotchargedwithexpression;thatishertintedovalmaskshowedwasteasanexposedsurfaceshowsfriction。Thehandoftimehadplayedoverherfreely，buttoaneffectofelimination。Shewasslimandstiff，andsowell-dressed，indarkbluecloth，withlappetsandpocketsandbuttons，thatitwasclearsheemployedthesametailorasherhusband。Thecouplehadanindefinableairofprosperousthrift——theyevidentlygotagooddealofluxuryfortheirmoney。IfIwastobeoneoftheirluxuriesitwouldbehovemetoconsidermyterms。

"AhClaudeRivetrecommendedme？"IechoedandIaddedthatitwasverykindofhim，thoughIcouldreflectthat，asheonlypaintedlandscape，thiswasn’tasacrifice。

Theladylookedveryhardatthegentleman，andthegentlemanlookedroundtheroom。Thenstaringattheflooramomentandstrokinghismoustache，herestedhispleasanteyesonmewiththeremark："Hesaidyouweretherightone。"

"Itrytobe，whenpeoplewanttosit。"

"Yes，weshouldliketo，"saidtheladyanxiously。

"Doyoumeantogether？"

Myvisitorsexchangedaglance。"IfyoucoulddoanythingwithME

Isupposeitwouldbedouble，"thegentlemanstammered。

"Ohyes，there’snaturallyahigherchargefortwofiguresthanforone。"

"Weshouldliketomakeitpay，"thehusbandconfessed。

"That’sverygoodofyou，"Ireturned，appreciatingsounwontedasympathy——forIsupposedhemeantpaytheartist。

Asenseofstrangenessseemedtodawnonthelady。"Wemeanfortheillustrations——Mr。Rivetsaidyoumightputonein。"

"Putin——anillustration？"Iwasequallyconfused。

"Sketchheroff，youknow，"saidthegentleman，colouring。

ItwasonlythenthatIunderstoodtheserviceClaudeRivethadrenderedme;hehadtoldthemhowIworkedinblack-and-white，formagazines，forstory-books，forsketchesofcontemporarylife，andconsequentlyhadcopiousemploymentformodels。Thesethingsweretrue，butitwasnotlesstrue——Imayconfessitnow;whetherbecausetheaspirationwastoleadtoeverythingortonothingI

leavethereadertoguess——thatIcouldn’tgetthehonours，tosaynothingoftheemoluments，ofagreatpainterofportraitsoutofmyhead。My"illustrations"weremypot-boilers;Ilookedtoadifferentbranchofart——farandawaythemostinterestingithadalwaysseemedtome——toperpetuatemyfame。Therewasnoshameinlookingtoitalsotomakemyfortunebutthatfortunewasbysomuchfurtherfrombeingmadefromthemomentmyvisitorswishedtobe"done"fornothing。Iwasdisappointed;forinthepictorialsenseIhadimmediatelySEENthem。Ihadseizedtheirtype——IhadalreadysettledwhatIwoulddowithit。Somethingthatwouldn’tabsolutelyhavepleasedthem，Iafterwardsreflected。

"Ahyou’re——you’re——a-？"IbeganassoonasIhadmasteredmysurprise。Icouldn’tbringoutthedingyword"models"：itseemedsolittletofitthecase。

"Wehaven’thadmuchpractice，"saidthelady。

"We’vegottodosomething，andwe’vethoughtthatanartistinyourlinemightperhapsmakesomethingofus，"herhusbandthrewoff。Hefurthermentionedthattheydidn’tknowmanyartistsandthattheyhadgonefirst，ontheoff-chance——hepaintedviewsofcourse，butsometimesputinfigures;perhapsIremembered——toMr。

Rivet，whomtheyhadmetafewyearsbeforeataplaceinNorfolkwherehewassketching。

"Weusedtosketchalittleourselves，"theladyhinted。

"It’sveryawkward，butweabsolutelymustdosomething，"herhusbandwenton。

"Ofcoursewe’renotsoVERYyoung，"sheadmittedwithawansmile。

WiththeremarkthatImightaswellknowsomethingmoreaboutthemthehusbandhadhandedmeacardextractedfromaneatnewpocket-

book——theirappurtenanceswereallofthefreshest——andinscribedwiththewords"MajorMonarch。"Impressiveasthesewordsweretheydidn’tcarrymyknowledgemuchfurther;butmyvisitorpresentlyadded："I’veleftthearmyandwe’vehadthemisfortunetoloseourmoney。Infactourmeansaredreadfullysmall。"

"It’sawfullytrying——aregularstrain，"，saidMrs。Monarch。

Theyevidentlywishedtobediscreet——totakecarenottoswaggerbecausetheyweregentlefolk。Ifeltthemwillingtorecognisethisassomethingofadrawback，atthesametimethatIguessedatanunderlyingsense——theirconsolationinadversity——thattheyHAD

theirpoints。Theycertainlyhad;buttheseadvantagesstruckmeaspreponderantlysocial;suchforinstanceaswouldhelptomakeadrawing-roomlookwell。However，adrawing-roomwasalways，oroughttobe，apicture。

Inconsequenceofhiswife’sallusiontotheirageMajorMonarchobserved："Naturallyit’smoreforthefigurethatwethoughtofgoingin。Wecanstillholdourselvesup。"OntheinstantIsawthatthefigurewasindeedtheirstrongpoint。His"naturally"

didn’tsoundvain，butitlightedupthequestion。"SHEhasthebestone，"hecontinued，noddingathiswifewithapleasantafter-

dinnerabsenceofcircumlocution。Icouldonlyreply，asifwewereinfactsittingoverourwine，thatthisdidn’tpreventhisownfrombeingverygood;whichledhiminturntomakeanswer：

"Wethoughtthatifyoueverhavetodopeoplelikeuswemightbesomethinglikeit。SHEparticularly——foraladyinabook，youknow。"

Iwassoamusedbythemthat，togetmoreofit，Ididmybesttotaketheirpointofview;andthoughitwasanembarrassmenttofindmyselfappraisingphysically，asiftheywereanimalsonhireorusefulblacks，apairwhomIshouldhaveexpectedtomeetonlyinoneoftherelationsinwhichcriticismistacit，IlookedatMrs。Monarchjudiciallyenoughtobeabletoexclaimafteramomentwithconviction："Ohyes，aladyinabook！"Shewassingularlylikeabadillustration。

"We’llstandup，ifyoulike，"saidtheMajor;andheraisedhimselfbeforemewithareallygrandair。

Icouldtakehismeasureataglance——hewassixfeettwoandaperfectgentleman。Itwouldhavepaidanyclubinprocessofformationandinwantofastamptoengagehimatasalarytostandintheprincipalwindow。Whatstruckmeatoncewasthatincomingtometheyhadrathermissedtheirvocation;theycouldsurelyhavebeenturnedtobetteraccountforadvertisingpurposes。Icouldn’tofcourseseethethingindetail，butIcouldseethemmakesomebody’sfortune——Idon’tmeantheirown。Therewassomethinginthemforawaistcoat-maker，anhotel-keeperorasoap-vendor。I

couldimagine"Wealwaysuseit"pinnedontheirbosomswiththegreatesteffect;Ihadavisionofthebrilliancywithwhichtheywouldlaunchatabled’hote。

Mrs。Monarchsatstill，notfrompridebutfromshyness，andpresentlyherhusbandsaidtoher："Getup，mydear，andshowhowsmartyouare。"Sheobeyed，butshehadnoneedtogetuptoshowit。Shewalkedtotheendofthestudioandthencamebackblushing，herflutteredeyesonthepartnerofherappeal。IwasremindedofanincidentIhadaccidentallyhadaglimpseofinParis——beingwithafriendthere，adramatistabouttoproduceaplay，whenanactresscametohimtoasktobeentrustedwithapart。Shewentthroughherpacesbeforehim，walkedupanddownasMrs。Monarchwasdoing。Mrs。Monarchdiditquiteaswell，butI

abstainedfromapplauding。Itwasveryoddtoseesuchpeopleapplyforsuchpoorpay。Shelookedasifshehadtenthousandayear。Herhusbandhadusedthewordthatdescribedher：shewasintheLondoncurrentjargonessentiallyandtypically"smart。"

Herfigurewas，inthesameorderofideas，conspicuouslyandirreproachably"good。"Forawomanofherageherwaistwassurprisinglysmall;herelbowmoreoverhadtheorthodoxcrook。Sheheldherheadattheconventionalangle，butwhydidshecometoME？Sheoughttohavetriedonjacketsatabigshop。Ifearedmyvisitorswerenotonlydestitutebut"artistic"——whichwouldbeagreatcomplication。WhenshesatdownagainIthankedher，observingthatwhatadraughtsmanmostvaluedinhismodelwasthefacultyofkeepingquiet。

"OhSHEcankeepquiet，"saidMajorMonarch。Thenheaddedjocosely："I’vealwayskeptherquiet。"

"I’mnotanastyfidget，amI？"Itwasgoingtowringtearsfromme，Ifelt，thewayshehidherhead，ostrich-like，intheotherbroadbosom。

Theownerofthisexpanseaddressedhisanswertome。"Perhapsitisn’toutofplacetomention——becauseweoughttobequitebusiness-like，oughtn’twe？——thatwhenImarriedhershewasknownastheBeautifulStatue。"

"Ohdear！"saidMrs。Monarchruefully。

"OfcourseIshouldwantacertainamountofexpression，"I

rejoined。

"OfCOURSE！"——andIhadneverheardsuchunanimity。

"AndthenIsupposeyouknowthatyou’llgetawfullytired。"

"OhweNEVERgettired！"theyeagerlycried。

"Haveyouhadanykindofpractice？"

Theyhesitated——theylookedateachother。We’vebeenphotographed——IMMENSELY，"saidMrs。Monarch。

"Shemeansthefellowshaveaskedusthemselves，"addedtheMajor。

"Isee——becauseyou’resogood-looking。"

"Idon’tknowwhattheythought，buttheywerealwaysafterus。"

"Wealwaysgotourphotographsfornothing，"

smiledMrs。Monarch。

"Wemighthavebroughtsome，mydear，"herhusbandremarked。

"I’mnotsurewehaveanyleft。We’vegivenquantitiesaway，"sheexplainedtome。

"Withourautographsandthatsortofthing，"saidtheMajor。

"Aretheytobegotintheshops？"Iinquiredasaharmlesspleasantry。

"Ohyes，HERS——theyusedtobe。"

"Notnow，"saidMrs。Monarchwithhereyesonthefloor。

CHAPTERII

Icouldfancythe"sortofthing"theyputonthepresentationcopiesoftheirphotographs，andIwassuretheywroteabeautifulhand。ItwasoddhowquicklyIwassureofeverythingthatconcernedthem。Iftheywerenowsopoorastohavetocamshillingsandpencetheycouldneverhavehadmuchofamargin。

Theirgoodlookshadbeentheircapital，andtheyhadgood-

humouredlymadethemostofthecareerthatthisresourcemarkedoutforthem。Itwasintheirfaces，theblankness，thedeepintellectualreposeofthetwentyyearsofcountry-housevisitingthathadgiventhempleasantintonations。Icouldseethesunnydrawing-rooms，sprinkledwithperiodicalsshedidn’tread，inwhichMrs。Monarchhadcontinuouslysat;Icouldseethewetshrubberiesinwhichshehadwalked，equippedtoadmirationforeitherexercise。IcouldseetherichcoverstheMajorhadhelpedtoshootandthewonderfulgarmentsinwhich，lateatnight，herepairedtothesmoking-roomtotalkaboutthem。Icouldimaginetheirleggingsandwaterproofs，theirknowingtweedsandrugs，theirrollsofsticksandcasesoftackleandneatumbrellas;andI

couldevoketheexactappearanceoftheirservantsandthecompactvarietyoftheirluggageontheplatformsofcountrystations。

Theygavesmalltips，buttheywereliked;theydidn’tdoanythingthemselves，buttheywerewelcome。Theylookedsowelleverywhere;

theygratifiedthegeneralrelishforstature，complexionand"form。"Theyknewitwithoutfatuityorvulgarity，andtheyrespectedthemselvesinconsequence。Theyweren’tsuperficial：

theywerethoroughandkeptthemselvesup——ithadbeentheirline。

Peoplewithsuchatasteforactivityhadtohavesomeline。I

couldfeelhoweveninadullhousetheycouldhavebeencountedonforthejoyoflife。Atpresentsomethinghadhappened——itdidn’tmatterwhat，theirlittleincomehadgrownless，ithadgrownleast——andtheyhadtodosomethingforpocket-money。Theirfriendscouldlikethem，Imadeout，withoutlikingtosupportthem。Therewassomethingaboutthemthatrepresentedcredit——

theirclothes，theirmanners，theirtype;butifcreditisalargeemptypocketinwhichanoccasionalchinkreverberates，thechinkatleastmustbeaudible。Whattheywantedofmewashelptomakeitso。Fortunatelytheyhadnochildren——Isoondivinedthat。

Theywouldalsoperhapswishourrelationstobekeptsecret：thiswaswhyitwas"forthefigure"——thereproductionofthefacewouldbetraythem。

Ilikedthem——Ifelt，quiteastheirfriendsmusthavedone——theyweresosimple;andIhadnoobjectiontothemiftheywouldsuit。

ButsomehowwithalltheirperfectionsIdidn’teasilybelieveinthem。Afteralltheywereamateurs，andtherulingpassionofmylifewas——thedetestationoftheamateur。Combinedwiththiswasanotherperversity——aninnatepreferencefortherepresentedsubjectovertherealone：thedefectoftherealonewassoapttobealackofrepresentation。Ilikedthingsthatappeared;thenonewassure。WhethertheyWEREornotwasasubordinateandalmostalwaysaprofitlessquestion。Therewereotherconsiderations，thefirstofwhichwasthatIalreadyhadtwoorthreerecruitsinuse，notablyayoungpersonwithbigfeet，inalpaca，fromKilburn，whoforacoupleofyearshadcometomeregularlyformyillustrationsandwithwhomIwasstill——perhapsignobly——satisfied。Ifranklyexplainedtomyvisitorshowthecasestood，buttheyhadtakenmoreprecautionsthanIsupposed。

Theyhadreasonedouttheiropportunity，forClaudeRivethadtoldthemoftheprojectededitiondeluxeofoneofthewritersofourday——therarestofthenovelists——who，longneglectedbythemultitudinousvulgar，anddearlyprizedbytheattentive（needI

mentionPhilipVincent？）hadhadthehappyfortuneofseeing，lateinlife，thedawnandthenthefulllightofahighercriticism;anestimateinwhichonthepartofthepublictherewassomethingreallyofexpiation。Theeditionpreparing，plannedbyapublisheroftaste，waspracticallyanactofhighreparation;thewoodcutswithwhichitwastobeenrichedwerethehomageofEnglisharttooneofthemostindependentrepresentativesofEnglishletters。

MajorandMrs。MonarchconfessedtometheyhadhopedImightbeabletoworkTHEMintomybranchoftheenterprise。TheyknewI

wastodothefirstofthebooks，RutlandRamsay，butIhadtomakecleartothemthatmyparticipationintherestoftheaffair——thisfirstbookwastobeatest——mustdependonthesatisfactionI

shouldgive。Ifthisshouldbelimitedmyemployerswoulddropmewithscarcecommonforms。Itwasthereforeacrisisforme，andnaturallyIwasmakingspecialpreparations，lookingaboutfornewpeople，shouldtheybenecessary，andsecuringthebesttypes。I

admittedhoweverthatIshouldliketosettledowntotwoorthreegoodmodelswhowoulddoforeverything。

"Shouldwehaveoftento——a——putonspecialclothes？"Mrs。Monarchtimidlydemanded。

"Dearyes——that’shalfthebusiness。"

"Andshouldwebeexpectedtosupplyourowncostumes？

"Ohno;I’vegotalotofthings。Apainter’smodelsputon——orputoff——anythinghelikes。"

"Andyoumean——a——thesame？"

"Thesame？"

Mrs。Monarchlookedatherhusbandagain。

"Ohshewasjustwondering，"heexplained，"ifthecostumesareinGENERALuse。"Ihadtoconfessthattheywere，andImentionedfurtherthatsomeofthem——Ihadalotof，genuinegreasylast-

centurythings——hadservedtheirtime，ahundredyearsago，onlivingworld-stainedmenandwomen;onfiguresnotperhapssofarremoved，inthatvanishedworld，fromTHEIRtype，theMonarchs’，quoi！ofabreechedandbewiggedage。"We’llput，onanythingthatFITS，"saidtheMajor。

"OhIarrangethat——theyfitinthepictures。"

"I’mafraidIshoulddobetterforthemodernbooks。I’dcomeasyoulike，"saidMrs。Monarch。

"Shehasgotalotofclothesathome：theymightdoforcontemporarylife，"herhusbandcontinued。

"OhIcanfancyscenesinwhichyou’dbequitenatural。"AndindeedIcouldseetheslipshodre-arrangementsofstaleproperties——thestoriesItriedtoproducepicturesforwithouttheexasperationofreadingthem——whosesandytractsthegoodladymighthelptopeople。ButIhadtoreturntothefactthat——forthissortofwork——thedailymechanicalgrind——Iwasalreadyequipped：thepeopleIwasworkingwithworefullyadequate。

"WeonlythoughtwemightbemorelikeSOMEcharacters，"saidMrs。

Monarchmildly，gettingup。

Herhusbandalsorose;hestoodlookingatmewithadimwistfulnessthatwastouchinginsofineaman。"Wouldn’titberatherapullsometimestohave——a——tohaven？"Hehungfire;hewantedmetohelphimbyphrasingwhathemeant。ButIcouldn’t——I

didn’tknow。Sohebroughtitoutawkwardly："TheREALthing;agentleman，youknow，oralady。"Iwasquitereadytogiveageneralassent——Iadmittedthattherewasagreatdealinthat。

ThisencouragedMajorMonarchtosay，followinguphisappealwithanunactedgulp："It’sawfullyhard——we’vetriedeverything。"Thegulpwascommunicative;itprovedtoomuchforhiswife。BeforeI

knewitMrs。Monarchhaddroppedagainuponadivanandburstintotears。Herhusbandsatdownbesideher，holdingoneofherhands;

whereuponshequicklydriedhereyeswiththeother，whileIfeltembarrassedasshelookedupatme。"Thereisn’taconfoundedjobIhaven’tappliedfor——waitedfor——prayedfor。Youcanfancywe’dbeprettybadfirst。Secretaryshipsandthatsortofthing？Youmightaswellaskforapeerage。I’dbeANYTHING——I’mstrong;amessengeroracoalheaver。I’dputonagold-lacedcapandopencarriage-doorsinfrontofthehaberdasher’s;I’dhangaboutastationtocarryportmanteaux;I’dbeapostman。Buttheywon’tLOOKatyou;therearethousandsasgoodasyourselfalreadyontheground。GENTLEMEN，poorbeggars，who’vedrunktheirwine，who’vekepttheirhunters！"

IwasasreassuringasIknewhowtobe，andmyvisitorswerepresentlyontheirfeetagainwhile，fortheexperiment，weagreedonanhour。WewerediscussingitwhenthedooropenedandMissChurmcameinwithawetumbrella。MissChurmhadtotaketheomnibustoMaidaValeandthenwalkhalfamile。Shelookedatrifleblowsyandslightlysplashed。Iscarcelyeversawhercomeinwithoutthinkingafreshhowodditwasthat，beingsolittleinherself，sheshouldyetbesomuchinothers。ShewasameagrelittleMissChurm，butwassuchanampleheroineofromance。Shewasonlyafreckledcockney，butshecouldrepresenteverything，fromafineladytoashepherdess，shehadthefacultyasshemighthavehadafinevoiceorlonghair。Shecouldn’tspellandshelovedbeer，butshehadtwoorthree"points，"andpractice，andaknack，andmother-wit，andawhimsicalsensibility，andaloveofthetheatre，andsevensisters，——andnotanounceofrespect，especiallyfortheH。Thefirstthingmyvisitorssawwasthatherumbrellawaswet，andintheirspotlessperfectiontheyvisiblywincedatit。Therainhadcomeonsincetheirarrival。

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