"I’mhere，"pipedupMrs。Lot。"ButI’mnotthatkindofasalt。"
"Iampresent，"saidMrs。Noah。"ThoughwhyIevercameIdon’tknow，forIvowedtheminuteIsetmyfootonAraratthatdrylandwasgoodenoughforme，andthatI’dneverstepaboardanotherboataslongasIlived。If，however，nowthatIamhere，Icangiveyouthebenefitofmynauticalexperience，youareallperfectlywelcometoit。"
"I’msurewe’reverymuchobligedfortheoffer，"saidPortia，"butintheemergencywhichhasarisenwecannotsayhowmuchobligedweareuntilweknowwhatyourexperienceamountedto。Beforerelyinguponyouweoughttoknowhowfarthatreliancecango——notthatI
lackconfidenceinyou，mydearmadam，butthatinanhourofperilonemusttakecare，torelyupontheoak，notuponthereed。"
"Thepointisproperlytaken，"saidElizabeth，"andIwishtosayherethatIameasierinmymindwhenIrealizethatwehavewithussolevel—headedapersonastheladywhohasjustspoken。Shehasspokentrulyandtothepoint。IfIweretobecomequeenagain，I
shouldmakehermyattorney—general。Wemustnotgoaheadimpulsively，butlookatallthingsinacalm，judicialmanner。"
"Whichisprettyhardworkwithasealikethison，"remarkedOphelia，faintly，forshewasgettingatriflesallow，asindeedshemight，fortheHouse—boatwasbeginningtorolltremendouslywithnoalleviationsaveanoccasionalpitch，whichwasanalleviationonlyinthesensethatitgavevarietytotheirdiscomfort。"Idon’tbelieveachief—justicecouldlookatthingscalmlyandinajudicialmannerifhefeltasIdo。"
"Poordear!"saidthematronlyMrs。Noah，sympathetically。"Iknowexactlyhowyoufeel。Ihavebeentheremyself。ThefourthdayoutIandmywholefamilywereinthesamecondition，exceptthatNoah，myhusband，wassoveryfargonethatIcouldnotaffordtoyield。I
nursedhimforsixdaysbeforehegothissea—legson，andthensuccumbedmyself。"
"But，"gaspedOphelia，"thatdoesn’thelpme—
"Itdidmyhusband，"saidMrs。Noah。
"Whenheheardthattheboyswereseasicktoo，heactuallylaughedandbegantogetbetterrightaway。Thereisreallyonlyonecureforthemaldemer，andthatisthefunofknowingthatsomebodyelseissufferingtoo。Ifsomeofyouladieswouldkindlyyieldtotheseductionsofthesea，Ithinkwecouldgetthispoorgirlonherfeetinaninstant。"
UnfortunatelyforpoorOphelia，therewasnoimmediateresponsetothisappeal，andtheunhappyyoungwomanwasforcedtosufferinsolitude。
"Wehavenotimeforuntimelydiversionsofthissort，"snappedXanthippe，withascornfulglanceatthesufferingOphelia，who，havingretiredtoacomfortableloungeatanendoftheroom，wasevidentlyimproving。"Ihavenosympathywiththishabitsomeofmysexseemtohaveacquiredofsuccumbingtoanimmediatesensationofthisnature。"
"Ihopetobepardonedforinterrupting，"saidMrs。Noah，withagreatdealoffirmness，"butIwishMrs。Socratestounderstandthatitisratherearlyinthevoyageforhertolaydownanysuchbroadprincipleasthat，andforherownsaketo—morrow，Ithinkitwouldbewellifshewithdrewthesentiment。Therearecertainthingsaboutasea—voyagethataremoreorlessbeyondthecontrolofmanorwoman，andanyonewhochidesthatpoorsufferingchildonyondersofaoughttobemoreconfidentthanMrs。Socratescanpossiblybethatwithinanhourshewillnotbeasbadlyoff。Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowdice。"
"Ishallneveryieldtoanythingsoundignifiedasseasickness，letmetellyouthat，"retortedXanthippe。"Furthermore，theproverbisnotastheladyhasquotedit。’Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowstones’istheproperversion。"
"Iwasnotquoting，"returnedMrs。Noah，calmly。"WhenIsaidthatpeoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowdice，ImeantpreciselywhatIsaid。Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnottakechances。Inassumingwithsuchvaingloriouspositivenessthatshewillnotbeseasick，theladywhohasjustspokenisgivingtremendousodds，astheboysusedtosayontheArkwhenwegatheredaboutthetableatnightandbegantomakesmallwagersontheday’srun。"
"Ithinkwehadbettersuspendthisdiscussion，"suggestedCleopatra。
"ItisofnoimmediateinteresttoanyonebutOphelia，andIfancyshedoesnotcaretodwelluponitatanygreatlength。Itismoreimportantthatweshoulddecideuponourfuturecourseofaction。Inthefirstplace，thequestioniswhothesepeopleupondeckare。Iftheyarethemembersoftheclub，weareallright。Theywillgiveusourscare，andlandussafelyagainatthepier。Inthateventitisourwomanlydutytomanifestnoconcern，andtoseemtobeawareofnothingunusualintheproceeding。Itwouldneverdotoletthemthinkthattheirjokehasbeenagoodone。If，ontheotherhand，asIfear，wearethevictimsofsomehordeofruffians，whohavepounceduponusunawares，andaregoingintothebusinessofabductiononawholesalebasis，wemustmeettreacherywithtreachery，strategywithstrategy。I，forone，amperfectlywillingtomakeeverymanonboardwalktheplank；havingconfidenceintheseawomanshipofMrs。Noahandherabilitytosteerusintoport。"
"Iamquiteinaccordwiththeseviews，"putinMadameRecamier，"andImoveyou，Mrs。President，thatweorganizeaseriesofsub—
committees——oneontreachery，withLucretiaBorgiaandDelilahasmembers；oneonstrategy，consistingofPortiaandQueenElizabeth；
oneonnavigation，headedbyMrs。Noah；withafinalsub—committeeonreconnoitre，withCassandratolookforward，andMrs。Lottolookaft——allofthesesubordinatedtoacentralcommitteeofsafetyheadedbyCleopatraandCalpurnia。Therestofuscanthencommitourselvesandourinterestsunreservedlytotheseladies，andproceedtoenjoyourselveswithoutthoughtofthemorrow。"
"Isecondthemotion，"saidOphelia，"withtheamendmentthatMadameRecamierbeappointedchair—ladyofanothersub—committee，onentertainment。"
Theamendmentwasaccepted，andthemotionput。Itwascarriedwithanenthusiasticaye，andtheorganizationwascomplete。
Thevariouscommitteesretiredtotheseveralcornersoftheroomtodiscusstheirindividuallinesofaction，whenashadowwasobservedtoobscurethemoonlightwhichhadbeenstreaminginthroughthewindow。ThefacesofCalpurniaandCleopatrablanchedforaninstant，as，immediatelyfollowinguponthisapparition，alargebundlewashurledthroughtheopenportintothemiddleoftheroom，andtheshadowvanished。
"Isitabomb？"criedseveraloftheladiesatonce。
"Nonsense!"saidMadameRecamier，jumpinglightlyforward。"Amandoesn’tmindblowingawomanup，buthe’llneverblowhimselfup。
We’resafeenoughinthatrespect。Thethinglookstomelikeabundleofillustratedpapers。"
"That’swhatitis，"saidCleopatrawhohadbeeninvestigating。
"It’sratheradiscourteousbitofcourtesy，tossingtheminthroughthewindowthatway，Ithink，butIpresumetheymeanwell。Dearme，"sheadded，as，havinguntiedthebundle，sheheldoneoftheopenpapersupbeforeher，"howinteresting!AllthelatestParisfashions。Humph!Lookatthosesleeves，Elizabeth。Whatanimpregnablefortressyouwouldhavebeenwiththosesleevesaddedtoyourruffs!"
"Ishouldthinkthey’dbeverybecoming，"putinCassandra，standingonhertip—toesandlookingoverCleopatra’sshoulder。"ThatWatteauisn’tbad，either，isit，now？"
"No，"remarkedCalpurnia。"IwonderhowaWatteaubacklikethatwouldgoonmybluealpaca？"
"Verynicely，"saidElizabeth。"Howmanygoreshasit？"
"Five，"observedCalpurnia。"OnemorethanCaesar’stoga。Wehadtohaveourcostumesdistinctinsomeway。"
"Aremarkablehat，that，"noddedMrs。Lot，hereyecatchingsightofaVirotcreationatthetopofthepage。
"RemindsmeofEve’sdescriptionofanautumnsceneinthegarden，"
smiledMrs。Noah。"Gorgeousinitsfoliage，beautifulthing；thoughIshouldn’thavedaredwearoneintheArk，withallthosehungryanimalsbrowsingabouttheupperandlowerdecks。"
"Iwonder，"remarkedCleopatra，asshecockedherheadtoonesidetotakeinthefulleffectofanattractivesummergown——"Iwonderhowthatwaistwouldmakeupinbluecrepon，withayokeoflaceandastylishlycontrastingstockofsatinribbon？"
"Itwoulddependuponhowyoufinishedthesleeves，"remarkedMadameRecamier。"Ifyouhadafewpuffsofrichbrocadedsatinsetinwithdeeplyfoldedpleatsitwouldn’tbebad。"
"Ithinkitwouldbeveryeffective，"observedMrs。Noah，"butatrifletoolightforgeneralwear。Ishouldwantsomekindofawrapwithit。"
"Itdoesneedthat，"assentedElizabeth。"Awrapmadeofpassementerieandjet，withamousselinedesoierucheabouttheneckheldbyachou，wouldmakeitfascinating。"
"Thecommitteeontreacheryisreadytoreport，"saidDelilah，risingfromhercorner，wheresheandLucretiaBorgiahadbeenhavingsoanimatedadiscussionthattheyhadfailedtoobservetheotherscrowdingaboutCleopatraandthepapers。
"Alittlesombre，"saidCleopatra。"Thecorsageiseffective，butI
don’tlikethosebasqueterminations。I’veneverapprovedofthosefullgodets——"
"Thecommitteeontreachery，"remarkedDelilahagain，raisinghervoice，"hasasuggestiontomake。"
"Ican’tgetoverthosesleeves，though，"laughedHelenofTroy。
"Whatistheuseofthem？"
"TheymightbeusedtogetGreeksintoTroy，"suggestedMadameRecamier。
"Thecommitteeontreachery，"roaredDelilah，thoroughlyangeredbytheabsorptionofthechairmanandothers，"hasasuggestiontomake。
Thisisthethirdandlastcall。"
"Oh，Ibegpardon，"criedCleopatra，rappingfororder。"Ihadforgottenallaboutourcommittees。Excuseme，Delilah。I——ah——wasabsorbedinothermatters。Willyoukindlylayyourpattern——I
shouldsayyourplan——beforeus？"
"Itisbrieflythis，"saidDelilah。"Ithasbeensuggestedthatweinvitethecrewofthisvesseltoachafing—dishparty，underthesupervisionofLucretiaBorgia，andthatshe——"
Thebalanceoftheplanwasnotoutlined，foratthispointthespeakerwasinterruptedbyaloudknockingatthedoor，itsinstantopening，andtheappearanceinthedoorwayofthatill—visagedruffianCaptainKidd。
"Ladies，"hebegan，"Ihavecomeheretoexplaintoyouthesituationinwhichyoufindyourselves。HaveIyourpermissiontospeak？"
Theladiesstartedback，butthechairmanwasequaltotheoccasion。
"Goon，"saidCleopatra，withqueenlydignity，turningtotheinterloper；andthepirateproceededtotakethesecondstepinthenefariousplanuponwhichheandhisbrotherruffianshadagreed，ofwhichthetossinginthroughthewindowofthebundleoffashionpaperswasthefirst。
CHAPTERVII：THE"GEHENNA"ISCHARTERED
Itwasabouttwenty—fourhoursaftertheeventsnarratedintheprecedingchaptersthatMr。SherlockHolmesassumedcommandoftheGehenna，whichwasnothingmorenorlessthantheshadowoftheill—
starredoceansteamshipCityofChicago，whichtriedsomeyearsagotoreachLiverpoolbytakingtheoverlandroutethroughIreland，fortunatelywithoutdetrimenttoherpassengersandcrew，whohadthepleasureoftheexperienceofshipwreckwithoutanyofthediscomfortsofdrowning。Aswillberemembered，theobstructionistnatureoftheIrishsoilpreventedtheCityofChicagofromproceedingfartherinlandthanwasnecessarytokeepherwellbalancedamidshipsuponaconvenientandnottoostonybed；andthatafterabriefsojournontherocksshewasfinallydisposedoftotheStyxNavigationCompany，underwhichtitleCharonhadhadhimselfincorporated，isamatterofnauticalhistory。ThechangeofnametotheGehennawastheactofCharonhimself，andwasprompted，nodoubt，byadesiretosoftenthejealousprejudicesoftheresidentsoftheStygiancapitalagainsttheflourishingandever—growingmetropolisofIllinois。
TheAssociatedShadeshadhadsometroubleingettingthiscraft。
Charon，throughhisconstantassociationwithlifeonbothsidesofthedarkriver，hadgainedaknowledge，moreorlessintimate，ofmodernbusinessmethods，andwhileasjanitoroftheclubhewassubjecttothewilloftheHouse—boatCommittee，andsympathizeddeeplywiththemembersoftheassociationintheirtrouble，aspresidentoftheStyxNavigationCompanyhewasboundupincertainnewlyattainedcommercialideaswhichwereembarrassingtothosemembersoftheassociationtowhosehandsthecharteringofavesselhadbeencommitted。
"Seehere，Charon，"SirWalterRaleighhadsaid，afterCharonhadexpressedhimselfasdeeplysympathetic，butunabletoshavethetermsuponwhichthevesselcouldbehad，"youareaninfernaloldhypocrite。Yougoaboutwringingyourhandsoverourmisfortunesuntilthey’vegotasdryandflabbyasapairofkidgloves，andyetwhenweaskyouforashipofsuitablesizeandspeedtogooutafterthosepirates，youbecomeasortoftwinbrothertoShylock，withouthisexcuse。Hisinstinctsareaccidentsofbirth。Yoursarecultivated，andyouknowit。"
"Youareverymuchmistaken，SirWalter，"Charonhadansweredtothis。"Youdon’tunderstandmyposition。Itisaveryhardone。AsjanitorofyourclubIamreallyprostratedovertheeventsofthepasttwenty—fourhours。Myoccupationisgone，andmydespairoveryourlossiscorrespondinglygreater，forIhavetimeonmyhandstobroodoverit。Iwashystericalasawomanyesterdayafternoon——sohystericalthatIcamenearupsettingoneoftheFurieswhoengagedmetorowherdowntoMadameMedusa’svillalastevening；andrightatthesluiceofthevitriolreservoiratthat。"
"Thenwhythedeucedon’tyoudosomethingtohelpus？"pleadedHamlet。
"HowcanIdoanymorethanIhavedone？I’veofferedyoutheGehenna，"retortedCharon。
"Butonwhatterms？"expostulatedRaleigh。"IfwehadallthewealthoftheIndieswe’dhavedifficultyinpayingyouthesumsyoudemand。"
"ButIamonlypresidentofthecompany，"explainedCharon。"I’dlike，aspresident，toshowyousomecourtesy，andI’mperfectlywillingtodoso；butwhenitcomesdowntogivingyouavessellikethat，I’mboundbymyofficialoathtoconsidertheinterestofthestockholders。Itisn’tasitusedtobewhenIhadboatstohireinmyownbehalfalone。InthosedaysIhadnobody’sinterestbutmyowntolookafter。NowtheshipsallbelongtotheStyxNavigationCompany。Can’tyouseethedifference？"
"Youownallthestock，don’tyou？"insistedRaleigh。
"Idon’tknow，"Charonanswered，blandly。"Ihaven’tseenthetransfer—bookslately。’’
"Butyouknowthatyoudidowneveryshareofit，andthatyouhaven’tsoldany，don’tyou？"putinHamlet。
Charonwaspuzzledforamoment，butshortlyhisfacecleared，andSirWalter’sheartsank，foritwasevidentthattheoldfellowcouldnotbecornered。
"Well，it’sthisway，SirWalter，andyourHighness，"hesaid，"I——I
can’tsaywhetheranyofthatstockhasbeentransferredornot。Thefactis，I’vebeenspeculatingalittleonmargin，andI’veputupthatstockassecurity，and，forallIknow，Imayhavebeensoldoutbymybrokers。I’vebeensoupsetbythisunfortunateoccurrencethatIhaven’tseenthemarketreportsfortwodays。Reallyyou’llhavetobecontentwithmyofferorgowithouttheGehenna。There’stoomuchsuspicionattachedtohighcorporateofficialslatelyformetoyieldajotinthepositionIhavetaken。Itwouldneverdotogetyouallreadytostart，andthenhaveaninjunctionclappedonyoubysomeunforeseenstockholderwhowasnotsatisfiedwiththetermsofferedyou；norcanIeverletitbesaidofmethattoretainmypositionasjanitorofyourorganizationIsacrificedatrustcommittedtomycharge。I’llgladlylendyoumyprivatelaunch，thoughIdon’tthinkitwillaidyoumuch，becausethenaphtha—tankhasexploded，andthescrewslippedoffandwenttothebottomtwoweeksago。Still，itisatyourservice，andI’venodoubtthateitherPhidiasorBenvenutoCelliniwillcarveoutapaddleforyouifyouaskhimto。"
"Bah!"retortedRaleigh。"Youmightaswellofferusapairofskates。"
"Iwould，ifIthoughttheriver’dfreeze，"retortedCharon，blandly。
RaleighandHamletturnedawayimpatientlyandleftCharontohisowndevices，whichforthetimebeingconsistedlargelyofwinkinghisothereyequietlyandoutwardlymakingagreatshowofgrief。
"He’stoocannyforus，Iamafraid，"saidSirWalter。"We’llhavetopayhimhismoney。"
"LetusfirstconsultSherlockHolmes，"suggestedHamlet，andthistheyproceededatoncetodo。
"Thereisbutonethingtobedone，"observedtheastutedetectiveafterhehadheardSirWalter’sstatementofthecase。"Itisanoldsayingthatoneshouldfightfirewithfire。Wemustmeetmodernbusinessmethodswithmoderncommercialideas。Charterhisvesselathisownprice。"
"Butwe’dneverbeabletopay，"saidHamlet。
"Ha—ha!"laughedHolmes。"Itisevidentthatyouknownothingofthelawsoftradenowadays。Don’tpay!"
"Buthowcanwe？"askedRaleigh。
"Themethodissimple。Youhaven’tanythingtopaywith，"returnedHolmes。"Lethimsue。Supposehegetsaverdict。Youhaven’tanythinghecanattach——ifyouhave，makeitovertoyourwivesoryourfiancees"
"Isthathonest？"askedHamlet，shakinghisheaddoubtfully。
"It’sbusiness，"saidHolmes。
"Butsupposehewantsanadvancepayment？"queriedHamlet。
"Givehimacheckdrawntohisownorder。He’llhavetoendorseitwhenhedepositsit，andthatwillmakehimresponsible，"laughedHolmes。
"Whatasimplethingwhenyouunderstandit!"commentedRaleigh。
"Very，"saidHolmes。"Businessisgettingbyslowdegreestobeanexactscience。ItremindsmeoftheBrightonmystery，inwhichI
playedamodestpartsometenyearsago，whenIfirsttookupferretingasaprofession。IwassittingonenightinmyroomatoneoftheBrightonhotels，whichshallbenameless。InevergivethenameofanyofthehotelsatwhichIstop，becauseitmightgiveoffencetotheproprietorsofotherhotels，withtheresultthatmybookswouldbeexcludedfromsaletherein。SufficeittosaythatI
wasspendinganearlysummerSundayatBrightonwithmyfriendWatson。Wehaddinedwell，andwereenjoyingoureveningsmoketogetheruponasmallbalconyoverlookingthewater，whentherecameatimidknockonthedoorofmyroom。
"’Watson，’saidI，’herecomessomeoneforadvice。Doyouwishtowagerasmallbottleuponit？’
"’Yes，’heanswered，withasmile。’IamthirstyandI’dlikeasmallbottle；andwhileIdonotexpecttowin，I’lltakethebet。I
shouldliketoknow，though，howyouknow。’
"’Itisquitesimple，’saidI。’Thetimidityoftheknockshowsthatmyvisitorisoneoftwoclassesofpersons——anautograph—hunteroraclient，oneofthetwo。YouseeIgiveyouachancetowin。Itmaybeanautograph—hunter，butIthinkitisaclient。Ifitwereacreditor，hewouldknockboldly，evenostentatiously；ifitwerethemaid，shewouldnotknockatall；ifitwerethehall—boy，hewouldnotcomeuntilIhadrungfivetimesforhim。Noneofthesethingshasoccurred；theknockisthehalf—heartedknockwhichbetokenseitherthatthepersonwhoknockedisintrouble，orisuncertainastohisreception。Iamwilling，however，consideringtheheatandmydesiretoquenchmythirst，towagerthatitisaclient。’
"’Done，’saidWatson；andIimmediatelyremarked，’Comein。’
"Thedooropened，andamanofaboutthirty—fiveyearsofage，inabathing—suit，enteredtheroom，andIsawataglancewhathadhappened。
"’YournameisBurgess，’Isaid。’YoucameherefromLondonthismorning，expectingtoreturnto—night。Youbroughtnoluggagewithyou。Afterluncheonyouwentbathing。YouhadmachineNo。35，andwhenyoucameoutofthewateryoufoundthatNo。35haddisappeared，withyourclothesandthesilverwatchyourunclegaveyouonthedayyousucceededtohisbusiness。’
"Ofcourse，gentlemen，"observedthedetective，withasmileatSirWalterandHamlet——"ofcoursethemanfairlygasped，andIcontinued：
’Youhavebeenlyingfacedownwardinthesandeversince，waitingfornightfall，sothatyoucouldcometomeforassistance，notconsideringitgoodformtomakeanafternooncalluponastrangerathishotel，cladinabathing—suit。AmIcorrect？’
"’Sir，’hereplied，withalookofwonder，’youhavenarratedmystoryexactlyasithappened，andIfindIhavemadenomistakeincomingtoyou。Wouldyoumindtellingmewhatisyourcourseofreasoning？’
"’Itisplainasday，’saidI。’IamthepersonwiththeredbeardwithwhomyoucamedownthirdclassfromLondonthismorning，andyoutoldmeyournamewasBurgessandthatyouwereabutcher。Whenyoulookedtoseethetime，Iremarkedupontheoddnessofyourwatch，whichledtoyourtellingmethatitwasthegiftofyouruncle。’
"’True，’saidBurgess，’butIdidnottellyouIhadnoluggage。’
"’No，’saidI，’butthatyouhadn’tisplain；forifyouhadbroughtanyotherclothingbesidesthatyouhadonwithyou，youwouldhaveputitontocomehere。ThatyouhavebeenrobbedIdeducealsofromyourcostume。’
"’Butthenumberofthemachine？’askedWatson。
"’Isonthetagonthekeyhangingabouthisneck，’saidI。
"’Onemorequestion，’queriedBurgess。’HowdoyouknowIhavebeenlyingfacedownwardonthebeacheversince？’
"’Bythesandinyoureyebrows，’Ireplied；andWatsonorderedupthesmallbottle。"
"Ifailtoseewhatitwasinourconversation，however，"observedHamlet，somewhatimpatientoverthedelaycausedbythenarrationofthistale，"thatsuggestedthistrainofthoughttoyou。"
"Thesequelwillshow，"returnedHolmes。
"Oh，Lord!"putinRaleigh。"Can’tweputoffthesequeluntilalaterissue？Remember，Mr。Holmes，thatweareconstantlylosingtime。"
"Thesequelisbrief，andIcannarrateitonourwaytotheofficeoftheNavigationCompany，"observedthedetective。"WhenthebottlecameIinvitedMr。Burgesstojoinus，whichhedid，andasthehourwaslatewhenwecametoseparate，Iofferedhimtheuseofmyparlorovernight。Thisheaccepted，andweretired。
"ThenextmorningwhenIarosetodress，themysterywascleared。"
"Youhaddreameditssolution？"askedRaleigh。
"No，"repliedHolmes。"Burgesshaddisappearedwithallmyclothing，myfalse—beard，mysuit—case，andmywatch。Theonlythinghehadleftmewasthebathing—suitandafewemptysmallbottles。"
"Andwhy，mayIask，"putinHamlet，astheydrewneartoCharon’soffice——"whydoesthatcaseremindyouofbusinessasitisconductedto—day？"
"Inthis，thatitisagoodthingtostayoutofunlessyouknowitall，"explainedHolmes。"IomittedinthecaseofBurgesstoobserveonethingabouthim。HadIobservedthathisnosewasrectilinear，incurved，andwithaliftedbase，andthathisauriculartemporalanglewasbetween96and97degrees，IshouldhaveknownatoncethathewasanimpostorVideOttolenghuion’EarsandNosesIHaveMet，’
pp。631—640。"
"Doyoumeantosaythatyoucantellacriminalbyhisears？"
demandedHamlet。
"Ifhehasany——yes；butIdidnotknowthatatthetimeoftheBrightonmystery。ThereforeIshouldhavestayedoutofthecase。
Buthereweare。Good—morning，Charon。"
BythistimethetriohadenteredtheprivateofficeofthepresidentoftheStyxNavigationCompany，andinafewmomentsthevesselwascharteredatafabulousprice。
Onthereturntothewharf，SirWaltersomewhatnervouslyaskedHolmesifhethoughttheplantheyhadsettleduponwouldwork。
"Charonisaveryshrewdoldfellow，"saidhe。"Hemayoutwitusyet。"
"Thechancesarejusttwoandone—eighthdegreesinyourfavor，"
observedHolmes，quietly，withaglanceatRaleigh’sears。"Thetemporalangleofyourearsis93。125degrees，whereasCharon’sstandoutat91，bymyotometer。Tothatextentyourcriminalinstinctsaresuperiortohis。Ifcriminologyisanexactscience，reasoningbyyourrespectiveears，yououghttobeathimoutbyaperceptiblethoughpossiblynarrowmargin。"
WithwhichassuranceRaleighwentaheadwithhispreparations，andwithintwelvehourstheGehennawasunderway，carryingafullcomplementofcrewandofficers，witheverystate—roomonboardoccupiedbysomespiritofthemoreillustriouskind。
EvenShylockwasonboard，thoughnooneknewit，forinthedeadofnighthehadstolenquietlyupthegang—plankandhadhiddenhimselfinanemptywater—caskintheforecastle。
"’Tisn’tVenice，"hesaid，ashesatdownandbreathedheavilythroughthebungofthebarrel，"butit’smustyanddampenough，and，consideringthecost，Ican’tcomplain。Youcan’tgetsomethingfornothing，eveninHades。"
CHAPTERVIII：ONBOARDTHE"GEHENNA"
WhentheGehennahadpasseddowntheStyxandoutthroughthebeautifulCimmerianHarborintothebroadwatersoftheocean，andeverythingwascomparativelysafeforawhileatleast，SherlockHolmescamedownfromthebridge，wherehehadtakenhisplaceasthecommanderoftheexpeditionatthemomentofdeparture。Hisbrowwasfurrowedwithanxiety，andthroughhismassiveforeheadhisbraincouldbeseentobethrobbingviolently，andthecorrugationsofhisgraymatterwerenotpleasanttowitnessashetriedvainlytosqueezeanideaoutofthem。
"Whatisthematter？"askedDemosthenes，anxiously。"Wearenotinanydanger，arewe？"
"No，"repliedHolmes。"ButIamsomewhatpuzzledatthebubblesonthesurfaceoftheocean，andtherippleswhichwepassedoveranhourortwoago，barelyperceptiblethroughthemostpowerfulmicroscope，indicatetomymindthatforsomereasonatpresentunknowntometheHouse—boathaschangedhercourse。Takethatbubblefloatingby。ItisthelastexpiringbitofaerialagitationoftheHouse—boat’swake。Observewhenceitcomes。NotfromtheAzoresquarter，butasifinsteadofsteeringastraightcoursethithertheHouse—boathadtakenasharpturntothenorth—east，andwasmakingforHavre；or，inotherwords，ParisinsteadofLondonseemstohavebecometheirdestination。"
DemostheneslookedatHolmeswithblankamazement，and，tokeepfromstammeringouttheexclamationofwonderthatrosetohislips，heopenedhisbonbonniereandswallowedapebble。
"Youdon’thappentohaveacocainetabletinyourbox，doyou？"
queriedHolmes。
"No，"returnedtheGreek。"Cocainemakesmeflightyandnervous，butthesepebblessortofballastmeandholdmedown。HowonearthdoyouknowthatthatbubblecomesfromthewakeoftheHouse—boat？"
"Bymychemicalknowledge，merely，"repliedHolmes。"Amerelyworldlyvesselleavesaphosphorescentbubbleinitswake。Thatonewehavejustdiscoveredisnotso，butsulphurescent，ifImaycoinawordwhichitseemstometheEnglishlanguageisverymuchinneedof。Itproves，then，thatthebubbleisaportionofthewakeofaStygiancraft，andtheonlyStygiancraftthathasclearedtheCimmerianHarborforyearsistheHouse—boat——Q。E。D。"
"Wecangobackuntilwefindtherippleagain，andfollowthat，I
presume，"sneeredLeCoq，whodidnottakemuchstockinthetheoriesofhisgreatrival，largelybecausehewasadetectivebyintuitionratherthanbystudyofthescience。
"Youcanifyouwantto，butitisbetternotto，"rejoinedHolmes，simply，asthoughnotobservingthesneer，"becausetheripplerepresentstheouterlinesoftheangleofdisturbanceinthewater；
andasanyoneofthesidestoanangleisgreaterthantheperpendicularfromthehypothenusetotheapex，you’dmerelybegoingthelongway。ThisisespeciallyimportantwhenyouconsidertheformationofthebowoftheHouse—boat，whichisroundedlikethesternofmostvessels，andcomesneartomakingapairofripplesatanangleofninetydegrees。"
"Then，"observedSirWalter，withasighofdisappointment，"wemustchangeourcourseandsailforParis？"
"Iamafraidso，"saidHolmes；"butofcourseit’sbynomeanscertainasyet。IthinkifColumbuswouldgoupintothemizzentopandlookabouthim，hemightdiscoversomethingeitherinconfirmationorrefutationofthetheory。"
"Hecouldn’tdiscoveranything，"putinPinzon。"Heneverdid。"
"Well，Ilikethat!"retortedColumbus。"I’dliketoknowwhodiscoveredAmerica。"
"SoshouldI，"observedLeifEricson，withawinkatVespucci。
"Tut!"retortedColumbus。"Ididit，andtheworldknowsit，whetheryouclaimitornot。"
"Yes，justasNoahdiscoveredArarat，"repliedPinzon。"Yousatuponthedeckuntilweranplumbintoanisland，afterfloatingaboutforthreemonths，andthenyoucouldn’ttellitfromacontinent，evenwhenyouhaditrightbeforeyoureyes。NoahmightjustaswellhavetoldhisfamilythathediscoveredaroofgardenasforyoutogobacktoSpaintelling’emallthatSanSalvadorwastheUnitedStates。"
"Well，Idon’tcare，"saidColumbus，withashortlaugh。"I’mtheonetheycelebrate，sowhat’stheodds？I’dratherstaydownhereinthesmoking—roomenjoyingasmallgame，anyhow，thanclimbupthatmastandstrainmyeyesfortenoradozenhourslookingforevidencetoproveordisprovethecorrectnessofanotherman’stheory。I
wouldn’tknowevidencewhenIsawit，anyhow。SendJudgeBlackstone。"
"Idrawthelineatthemizzentop，"observedBlackstone。"Thedignityofthebenchmustandshallbepreserved，andI’llneverconsenttoclimbupthatrigging，gettingpitchandpaintonmyermine，nomatterwhoasksmetogo。"
"WhomsoeverItelltogo，shallgo，"putinHolmes，firmly。"Iamcommanderofthisship。Itwillpayyoutorememberthat，JudgeBlackstone。"
"AndIamtheCourtofAppeals，"retortedBlackstone，hotly。"Bearthatinmind，captain，whenyoutrytosendmeup。I’llissueawritofhabeascorpusonmyownbody，andcommityouforcontempt。"
"There’snouseofsendingtheJudge，anyhow，"saidRaleigh，fearingbytheglitterthatcameintotheeyeofthecommanderthattroublemightensueunlesspacificatorymeasureswereresortedto。"He’saccustomedtoweighingeverythingcarefully，andcannotberushedintoadecision。Ifhesawanyevidence，he’dhavetositonitaweekbeforereachingaconclusion。Whatweneedheremorethananythingelseisanexpertseaman，alookout，andInominateShem。
Hehassailedunderhisfather，andIhaveitongoodauthoritythatheisanauticalexpert。"
Holmeshesitatedforaninstant。HewasconsideringthenecessityofdiscipliningtherecalcitrantBlackstone，buthefinallyyielded。
"Verywell，"hesaid。"Shembeit。Bo’sun，pipeShemondeck，andtellhimthatgeneralordernumberonerequireshimtoreportatthemizzentoprightaway，andthatimmediatelyheseesanythingheshallcomebelowandmakeitknowntome。Asfortherestofus，havingaveryconsiderableappetite，Idonowdecreethatitisdinner—time。
Shallwegobelow？"
"Idon’tthinkIcareforany，thankyou，"saidRaleigh。"Factis——
ah——Idinedlastweek，andamnothungry。"
Noahlaughed。"Oh，comebelowandwatchuseat，then，"hesaid。
"It’lldoyougood。"
Buttherewasnoreply。Raleighhadplungedheadfirstintohisstate—room，whichfortunatelyhappenedtobeontheupperdeck。Therestofthespiritsrepairedbelowtothesaloon，wheretheyweresoonengagedinananimateddiscussionofsuchviandsasthelarderprovided。
"This，"saidDr。Johnson，fromtheheadofthetable，"iswhatIcallcomfort。Idon’tknowthatIamsoanxioustorecovertheHouse—
boat，afterall。"
"NorI，"saidSocrates，"withashiplikethistogooffcruisingon，andwithsuchalarder。Lookatthethicknessofthatpuree，Doctor—
—"
"Excuseme，"saidBoswell，faintly，"butI——I’veleftmynote——bub——
bookupstairs，Doctor，andI’dliketogoupandgetit。"
"Certainly，"saidDr。Johnson。"Ijudgefromyourcolor，whichishighlysuggestiveofamodernmagazineposter，thatitmightbewelltooifyoustayedondeckforalittlewhileandmadeafewentriesinyourcommonplacebook。"
"Thankyou，"saidBoswell，gratefully。"Shallyousayanythingcleverduringdinner，sir？Ifso，ImightbeputtingitdownwhileI’mup——"
"Getout!"roaredtheDoctor。"Getupashighasyoucan——getupwithShemonthemizzentop——"
"Verygood，sir，"repliedBoswell，andhewasoff。
"Yououghttobemorelenientwithhim，Doctor，"saidBonaparte；"hemeanswell。"
"Iknowit，"observedJohnson；"buthe’ssoveryprevious。Lastwinter，atChaucer’sdinnertoBurns，Imadeaspeech，whichBoswellprintedaweekbeforeitwasdelivered，withthewords’laughter’and’uproariousapplause’interspersedthroughit。Itplacedmeinafalseposition。"
"Howdidheknowwhatyouweregoingtosay？"queriedDemosthenes。
"Don’tknow，"repliedJohnson。"Kindofmind—reader，Ifancy，"headded，blushingatrifle。"But，CaptainHolmes，whatdoyoudeducefromyourobservationofthewakeoftheHouse—boat？Ifshe’sgoingtoParis，whythechange？"
"Ihavetwotheories，"repliedthedetective。
"Whichisalwayssafe，"saidLeCoq。
"Always；itdoublesyourchancesofsuccess，"acquiescedHolmes。
"Anyhow，itgivesyouachoice，whichmakesitmoreinteresting。ThechangeofhercoursefromLondonwardtoPariswardprovestomeeitherthatKiddisnotsatisfiedwiththeextentoftherevengehehasalreadytaken，andwishestoruinyougentlemenfinanciallybyturningyourwives，daughters，andsisterslooseontheParisianshops，orthatthepirateshavethemselvesbeenoverthrownbytheladies，whohavedecidedtoprolongtheircruiseandgetsomefunoutoftheirmisfortune。"
"AndwhereelsethantoPariswouldanyoneinsearchofpleasurego？"askedBonaparte。
"IhadmorefunafewmilesoutsideofBrussels，"saidWellington，withaslywinkatWashington。
"Oh，letuponthat!"retortedBonaparte。"Itwasn’tyoubeatmeatWaterloo。Youcouldn’thavebeatenmeataplainordinarygameofold—maidwithastackedpackofcards，muchlessinthegameofwar，ifyouhadn’thadtheelementswithyou。"
"Tut!"snappedWellington。"Itwasclearsciencelaidyouout，Boney。"
"Taisey—voo!"shoutedtheirateCorsican。"Clearsciencebehanged!
Wetsciencewaswhatdidit。Ifithadn’tbeenfortherain，mylittleDuke，IshouldhavebeeninLondonwithinaweek，mygrenadierswouldhavebeencampinginyourRuePeekadeely，andtheOldGuardallovereverywhereelse。"
"Youmusthavehadagayarmy，then，"laughedCaesar。"WhatareFrenchsoldiersmadeof，thattheycan’tstandthewet——unshrunklinenorflannel？"
"Bah!"observedNapoleon，shrugginghisshouldersandwalkingafewpacesaway。"YoudonotunderstandtheFrench。TheFrenchmanisnotapell—mellsoldierlikeyouRomans；heisthepoetofarms；hedoesnotgoinforgloryattheexpenseofhisdignity；style，form，isdearertohimthanhonor，andhehasnouseforfightinginthewetandcomingoutofthefightconspicuousasavictorwiththecurloutofhisfeathersandhisepauletsrustedwiththedamp。Thereisnogloryinwater。Butifwehadhadumbrellasandmackintoshes，aseveryEnglishmanwhocomestotheContinentalwayshas，andabath—
tubforeverybody，thenwouldyourWaterloohavebeendifferentagain，andthegreatdemocracyofEuropewithaBonaparteforemperorwouldhavebeenfoundedforwhattheAmericanscallthekeeps；andasforyourlittleGreatBritain，ha!shewouldhavebecometheBlackwell’sIslandoftheGreaterFrance。"
"You’realmostasfunnyasPunchisn’t，"drawledWellington，withanangrygestureatBonaparte。"Youweren’twithintelephoningdistanceofvictoryallday。Wesimplyplayedwithyou，myboy。Itwasaregulargameofgolfforus。Weletyoukeepupprettycloseandwinafewholes，butonthehomedrivewehadyoubeateninonestroke。
Goto，mydearBonaparte，andstoptalkingabouttheflood。"
"It’saluckythingforusthatNoahwasn’taFrenchman，eh？"saidFredericktheGreat。"Howthatrainwouldhavefazedhimifhehadbeen!Thehumanracewouldhavebeenwipedout。"
"Oh，pshaw!"ejaculatedNoah，deprecatingtheunseemlinessofthequarrel，andputtinghisarmaffectionatelyaboutBonaparte’sshoulder。"Whenyoucomedowntothat，IwasFrench——asFrenchasonecouldbeinthosedays——andtheseGallicsubjectsofmyfriendherewere，everyoneof’em，mylinealdescendants，andtheirhatredofrainwasinheriteddirectlyfromme，theirancestor。"
"ArenotweEnglishasmuchyourdescendants？"queriedWellington，archinghiseyebrows。
"Youare，"saidNoah，"butyoutakeafterMrs。Noahmorethanafterme。Waterneverfazesawoman，andyourdelightintubsisanessentiallyfemininetrait。ThefirstthingMrs。Noahcarriedaboardwasalaundryoutfit，andthenshewentbackforrugsandcoatsandallsortsofhand—baggage。Gad，itmakesmelaughtothisdaywhenI
thinkofit!ShelookedforalltheworldlikeanEnglishmantravellingontheContinentasshewalkedupthegang—plankbehindtheelephants，eachelephantwithaGladstonebaginhistrunkandahat—boxtiedtohistail。"Herethevenerableoldweather—prophetwinkedatMunchausen，andthelittlequarrelwhichhadbeenimminentpassedoffinagenerallaugh。
"Where’sBoswell？Heoughttogetthatanecdote，"saidJohnson。
"I’velockedhimupinthelibrary，"saidHolmes。"He’sinchargeofthelog，andasIhaveaprettygoodgeneralideaastowhatisabouttohappen，Ihavemappedoutaskeletonoftheplotandsethimtoworkwritingitup。"Herethedetectivegaveasuddenstart，placedhishandtohisear，listenedintentlyforaninstant，and，takingouthiswatchandglancingatit，added，quietly，"InthreeminutesShemwillbeinheretoannounceadiscovery，andoneofgreatimportance，Ijudge，fromthesqueak。"
TheassemblagegazedearnestlyatHolmesforamoment。
"Thesqueak？"queriedRaleigh。
"Precisely，"saidHolmes。"ThesqueakiswhatIsaid，andasI
alwayssaywhatImean，itfollowslogicallythatImeantwhatI
said。"
"Iheardnosqueak，"observedDr。Johnson；"and，furthermore，Ifailtoseehowasqueak，ifIhadheardit，wouldhaveportendedadiscoveryofimportance。"
"Itwouldnot——toyou，"saidHolmes；"butwithmeitisdifferent。
Myhearingisunusuallyacute。Icanhearthedroppingofapinthroughastonewalltenfeetthick；anysoundwithinamileofmyeardrumvibratesthereonwithanintensitywhichwouldsurpriseyou，anditisbytheuseofcocainethatIhaveacquiredthiswonderfullyacutesense。Apropertywhichdullsthesensesofmostpeoplerendersminedoublyapprehensive；therefore，gentlemen，whiletoyoutherewasnoauriculardisturbance，tometherewas。IheardShemslidingdownthemastaminutesince。Thefactthathesliddownthemastinsteadofclimbingdowntheriggingshowedthathewasingreathaste，thereforehemusthavesomethingtocommunicateofgreatimportance。"
"Whyisn’theherealready，then？Itwouldn’ttakehimtwominutestogetfromthedeckhere，"askedtheever—auspiciousLeCoq。
"Itissimple，"returnedHolmes，calmly。"Ifyouwillgoyourselfandslidedownthatmastyouwillsee。Shemhasstoppedforalittlewitch—hazeltosoothehisburns。Itisnocoolmatterslidingdownamasttwohundredfeetinheight。"
AsSherlockHolmesspokethedoorburstopenandShemrushedin。
"Asignalofdistress，captain!"hecried。
"Fromwhatquarter——tolarboard？"askedHolmes。
"No，"returnedShem，breathless。
"Thenitmustbedeadahead，"saidHolmes。
"Whynottostarboard？"askedLeCoq，dryly。
"Because，"answeredHolmes，confidently，"itneverhappensso。Ifyouhadeverreadatrulyexcitingsea—tale，mydearLeCoq，youwouldhaveknownthatinterestingthings，andparticularlysignalsofdistress，areneverseenexcepttolarboardordeadahead。"
Amurmurofapplausegreetedthisretort，andLeCoqsubsided。
"Thenatureofthesignal？"demandedHolmes。
"Ablackflag，skullandcross—bonesdown，athalf—mast!"criedShem，"andonarock—boundcoast!"
"They’remarooned，byheavens!"shoutedHolmes，springingtohisfeetandrushingtothedeck，wherehewasjoinedimmediatelybySirWalter，Dr。Johnson，Bonaparte，andtheothers。
"Isn’theadaisy？"whisperedDemosthenestoDiogenesastheyclimbedthestairs。
"Heismorethanthat；he’sabloomingorchid，"saidDiogenes，withintenseenthusiasm。"IthinkI’llgetmyX—raylanternandseeifhe’shonest。"
CHAPTERIX：CAPTAINKIDDMEETSWITHANOBSTACLE
"Excuseme，yourMajesty，"remarkedHelenofTroyasCleopatraaccordedpermissiontoCaptainKiddtospeak，"Ihavenotbeenintroducedtothisgentlemannorhashebeenpresentedtome，andI
reallycannotconsenttoanyproceedingsoirregularasthis。IdonotspeaktogentlemenIhavenotmet，nordoIpermitthemtoaddressme。"
"Hear，hear!"criedXanthippe。"IquiteagreewiththeprincipleofmyyoungfriendfromTroy。Itmaybethatwhenweclaimedforourselvesalltherightsofmenthattherighttospeakandbespokentobyothermenwithoutanintroductionwillincludedinthelist，butIforonehavenodesiretoavailmyselfoftheprivilege，especiallywhenit’sahorrid—lookingmanlikethis。"
Kiddbowedpolitely，andsmiledsoterriblythatseveraloftheladiesfainted。
"Iwillwithdraw，"hesaid，turningtoCleopatra；anditmustbesaidthathissuggestionwaspromptedbyhisheartfeltwish，fornowthathefoundhimselfthusconspicuouslybroughtbeforesomanywomen，withfalsehoodonhislips，hiscouragebegantoooze。
"Notyet，please，"answeredthechairlady。"Iimaginewecangetaboutthisdifficultywithoutmuchtrouble。"
"Ithinkitaperfectlyproperobjectiontoo，"observedDelilah，rising。"Ifweeverneededetiquetteweneeditnow。ButIhaveaplanwhichwillobviateanyfurtherdifficulty。Ifthereisnooneamonguswhoissufficientlywellacquaintedwiththegentlemantopresenthimformallytous，Iwillforthetimebeingtakeuponmyselftheofficeofship’sbarberandcuthishair。Iunderstandthatitisquitetheproperthingforbarberstotalk，whilecuttingtheirhair，topersonstowhomtheyhavenotbeenintroduced。And，besides，hereallyneedsahair—cutbadly。ThusIshallestablishanacquaintancewiththecaptain，afterwhichIcanwithproprietyintroducehimtotherestofyou。"
"Perhapsthegentlemanhimselfmightobjecttothat，"putinQueenElizabeth。"IfIrememberrightly，yourlastcustomerwasverymuchdissatisfiedwiththetrimyougavehim。"
"ItwillbeunnecessarytodowhatDelilahproposes，"saidMrs。Noah，withakindlysmile，assheroseupfromthecornerinwhichshehadbeensitting，aninterestedlistener。"Icanintroducethegentlemantoyouallwithperfectpropriety。He’samemberofmyfamily。Hisgrandfatherwasthegreat—grandsonathousandandeighttimesremovedofmysonShem’sgreat—grandnephewonhisfather’sside。Hisrelationshiptomeisthereforeobvious，thoughfromwhatIknowofhisreputationIthinkhetakesmoreaftermyhusband’sancestorsthanmyown。Willie，dear，theseladiesarefriendsofmine。
Ladies，thisyoungmanisoneofmymostfamousdescendants。Hehasbeenamanofmanyadventures，andhehasbeenhangedonce，which，farfrommakinghimundesirableasanacquaintance，hasservedmerelytorenderhimharmless，andthereforeasafepersontoknow。Now，myson，goaheadandspeakyourpiece。"
Thegoodoldspiritsatdown，andthescruplesoftheobjectorshavingthusbeensatisfied，CaptainKiddbegan。
"NowthatIknowyouall，"heremarked，aspleasantlyashecouldunderthecircumstances，"IfeelthatIcanspeakmorefreely，andcertainlywithagreatdeallessembarrassmentthanifIwereaddressingagatheringofentirestrangers。Iamnotmuchofahandatspeaking，andhavealwaysfeltsomewhatnonplussedatfindingmyselfinapositionofthisnature。InmywholecareerIneverexperiencedbutoneirresistibleimpulsetomakeapublicaddressofanylength，andthatwasuponthatunhappyoccasiontowhichthegreatestandgrandestofmygreat—grandmothershasalluded，andthatonlyasthechainbywhichIwassuspendedinmid—airtightenedaboutmyvocalchords。AtthatmomentIcouldhavetalkedimpromptuforayear，sofastandnumerouslydidthoughtsoftheuttermostimportsurgeupwardintomybrain；butcircumstancesoverwhichIhadnocontrolpreventedtheutteranceofthosethoughts，andthatspeechisthereforelosttotheworld。"
"Hehasthegiftofcontinuity，"observedMadameRecamier。
"OughttobeintheUnitedStatesSenate，"smiledElizabeth。
"IwishIcouldmakeupmymindastowhetherheisoutrageouslyhandsomeordesperatelyugly，"remarkedHelenofTroy。"Hefascinatesme，butwhetheritisthefascinationoflikingorofhorrorIcan’ttell，andit’squiteimportant。"
"Ladies，"resumedthecaptain，hisuneasinessincreasingashecametothepoint，"Iambuttheagentofyourrespectivehusbands，fiances，andothermasculineguardians。Thegentlemenwhowerepreviouslythetenantsofthisclub—househavedelegatedtometheimportant，andImayaddhighlyagreeable，taskofshowingyoutheworld。Theyhavenotedoflateyearsthegrowthofthatfeelingofunrestwhichisbecomingeverydaymoreandmoreconspicuousinfemininecirclesinallpartsoftheuniverse——ontheearth，wherewomenareclamoringtovote，andtobeallowedtogooutlateatnightwithoutanescort，inHades，where，asyouarenodoubtaware，themanagementofthegovernmenthasfallenalmostwhollyintothehandsoftheFuries；andeveninthehallsofJupiterhimself，where，Iamcrediblyinformed，Junohasbeentakingprivatelessonsintheartofhurlingthunderbolts——informationwhichtheextraordinaryqualityofrecentelectricalstormsontheearthwouldseemtoconfirm。Thunderboltsoflateyearshavebeencasthitherandyoninamosterraticfashion，strikingwheretheywereleastexpected，asthoseofyouwhokeepintouchwiththeouterworldmustbefullyaware。Now，actuatedbytheirusualbroadandliberalmotives，themenofHadeswishtomeettheviewsofyouladiestojustthatextentthatyourviewsarebaseduponawiseselection，inturnbaseduponexperience，andtheyhavecometomeandinsomanywordshavesaid，’Mr。Kidd，wewishthewomenofHadestoseetheworld。Wewantthemtobesatisfied。Wedonotlikethisconstantlyincreasingspiritofunrest。We，whohaveseenallthelifethatwecaretosee，donotourselvesfeelequaltothetaskofshowingthemabout。WewillpayyouliberallyifyouwilltakeourHouse—boat，whichtheyhavealwaysbeenanxioustoenter，andpersonallyconductourbelovedonestoParis，London，andelsewhere。Letthemseeasmuchoflifeastheycanstand。Accordthemeveryprivilege。Sparenoexpense；onlybringthembackagaintoussafeandsound。’Theseweretheirwords，ladies。Iaskedthemwhytheydidn’tcomealongthemselves，sayingthateveniftheyweretiredofitall，theyshouldmakesomepersonalsacrificetoyourcomfort；andtheyanswered，reasonablyandwell，thattheywouldbeonlytoogladtodoso，butthattheyfearedtheymightunconsciouslyseemtoexertarepressinginfluenceuponyou。’Wewantthemtofeelabsolutelyfree，CaptainKidd，’saidthey，’andifwearealongtheymaynotfeelso。’Theanswerwasconvincing，ladies，andIacceptedthecommission。"
"Butweknewnothingofallthis，"interposedElizabeth。"Thesubjectwasnotbroachedtousbyourhusbands，brothers，fiances，orfathers。Mybrother，SirWalterRaleigh——"
Cleopatrachuckled。"Brother!Brother’sgood，"shesaid。
"Well，that’swhatheis，"retortedElizabeth，quickly。"Ipromisedtobeasistertohim，andI’mgoingtokeepmyword。That’sthekindofaqueenIam。Iwasabouttoremark，"Elizabethadded，turningtothecaptain，"thatmybrother，SirWalterRaleigh，neverevenhintedatanysuchplan，andusuallyheaskedmyadviceinmattersofsogreatimportance。"
"Thatiseasilyaccountedfor，madame，"retortedKidd。"SirWalterintendedthisasalittlesurpriseforyou，thatisall。Thearrangementswereallplacedinhishands，anditwashewhoboundusalltosecrecy。Noneoftheladiesweretobeinformedofit。"
"Itdoesnotsoundaltogetherplausible，"interposedPortia。"Ifyouladiesdonotobject，Ishouldliketocross—examinethis——ah——
gentleman。"
Kiddpaledvisibly。Hewasnotpreparedforanysuchtrial；however，heputasgoodafaceonthematterashecould，andannouncedhiswillingnesstoansweranyquestionsthathemightbeasked。
"Shallweputhimunderoath？"askedCleopatra。
"Asyouplease，ladies，"saidthepirate。"Apirate’swordisasgoodashisbond；butI’lltakeanoathifyouchoose——ahalf—dozenof’em，ifneedbe。"
"Ifancywecangetalongwithoutthat，"saidPortia。"Now，CaptainKidd，whofirstproposedthisplan？"
"Socrates，"saidKidd，unblushinglywithaslyglanceatXanthippe。
"What？"criedXanthippe。"Myhusbandproposeanythingthatwouldcontributetomypleasureorintellectualadvancement？Bah!Yourstoryistransparentlyfalseattheoutset。"
"Nevertheless，"saidKidd，"theschemewasproposedbySocrates。HesaidatripofthatkindforXanthippewouldbeveryrestfulandhealth—giving。"
"Forme？"criedXanthippe，sceptically。
"No，madame，forhim，"retortedKidd。
"Ah——ho—ho!That’sthewayofit，eh？"saidXanthippe，flushingtotherootsofherhair。"Verylikely。You——ah——youwillexcusemydoubtingyourword，CaptainKidd，amomentsince。Iwithdrawmyremark，andinordertomakefullestreparation，IbegtoassuretheseladiesthatIamnowperfectlyconvincedthatyouaretellingthetruth。Thatlastobservationisjustlikemyhusband，andwhenI
getbackhomeagain，ifIeverdo，well——ha，ha!——we’llhaveamerrytime，that’sall。"
"Andwhatwas——ah——Bassanio’sconnectionwiththisaffair？"addedPortia，hesitatingly。
"Hewasnotinformedofit，"saidKidd，archly。"IamnotacquaintedwithBassanio，mylady，butIoverheardSirWalterenjoiningupontheotherstheabsolutenecessityofkeepingthewholeaffairfromBassanio，becausehewasafraidhewouldnotconsenttoit。
’Bassaniohasamostbeautifulwife，gentlemen，’saidSirWalter，’andhewouldn’tthinkofpartingwithherunderanycircumstances；
thereforeletuskeepourintentionsasecretfromhim。’Ididnothearwhomthegentlemanmarried，madame；buttheothers，PrinceHamlet，theDukeofBuckingham，andLouistheFourteenth，allagreedthatMrs。Bassaniowastoobeautifulapersontobeseparatedfrom，andthatitwasbetter，therefore，tokeepBassaniointhedarkastotheirlittleenterpriseuntilitwastoolateforhimtointerfere。"
Apinkglowofpleasuresuffusedthelovelycountenanceofthecross—
examiner，anditdidnotrequireaverysharpeyetoseethatthewilyKiddhadcompletelywonherovertohisside。Ontheotherhand，Elizabeth’sbrowbecameascorrugatedasherruff，andthespiritofthepirateshiveredtothecoreasheturnedandgazeduponthatgloweringface。
"SirWalteragreedtothat，didhe？"snappedElizabeth。"Andyethewaswillingtopartwith——ah——hissister。"
"Well，yourMajesty，"beganKidd，hesitatingly，"youseeitwasthisway：SirWalter——er——didsaythat，but——ah——he——ah——butheaddedthatheofcoursemerelyjudged——er——thismanBassanio’sfeelingsbyhisowninpartingfromhissister——"
"Didhesaysister？"criedElizabeth。
"Well——no——notinthosewords，"shuffledKidd，perceivingquicklywhereinhiserrorlay，"but——ah——Ijumpedattheconclusion，seeinghisintenseenthusiasmforthelady’sbeautyand——er——intellectualqualities，thathereferredtoyou，anditisfromyourselfthatI
havegainedmyknowledgeastothefraternal，nottosaysororal，relationshipthatexistsbetweenyou。"
"Thatman’sadiplomatfromDiplomaville!"mutteredSirHenryMorgan，who，withAbeuchapetaandConrad，waslisteningattheportwithout。
"Heisthat，"saidAbeuchapeta，"buthecan’tlastmuchlonger。He’sperspiringlikeapitcherofice—wateronahotday，andaspiritofhissizeandvolatilenaturecan’tstandmuchofthatwithoutevaporating。Ifyouwillobservehimcloselyyouwillseethathisleftarmalreadyhasvanishedintothinair。"
"ByJove!"whisperedConrad，"that’safact!Iftheydon’tletuponhimhe’llvanish。He’sgettingexcessivelytenuousaboutthetopofhishead。"
Allofwhichwasonlytootrue。Subjectedtoascrutinywhichhehadlittleexpected，thedeceitfulambassadorofthethievingbandwasrapidlydissipating，and，asthosewithouthadsofearsomelynoted，wasinimminentdangerofcompletesublimation，which，inthecaseofonepossessedofsolittleelementarypurity，meantnothingshortofannihilation。FortunatelyforKidd，however，hiswonderfultacthadstemmedthetideofsuspicion。Elizabethwassatisfiedwithhisexplanation，andinthemindsofatleastthreeofthemostinfluentialladiesonboard，Portia，Xanthippe，andElizabeth，hehadbecomeacreatureworthyofcredence，whichmeantthathehadnothingmoretofear。
"Iamprepared，yourMajesty，"saidElizabeth，addressingCleopatra，"toacceptfromthistimeonthegentleman’sword。Thelittlethathehasalreadytoldusishall—markedwithtruth。Ishouldliketoask，however，onemorequestion，andthatishowourgentlemanfriendsexpectedtoembarkusuponthisvoyagewithoutlettingusintothesecret？"
"Oh，asforthat，"repliedKidd，withadeep—drawnsighofrelief，forhetoohadnoticedthegradualevaporationofhisarmandtheincipientetherizationofhiscranium——"asforthat，itwassimpleenough。Therewastohavebeenadaysetapartforladies’dayattheclub，andwhenyouwereallonboardwewerequietlytoweighanchorandstart。Thefactthatyouhadanticipatedtheday，ofyourownvolition，wastelephonedbymyscoutstomeatmyheadquarters，andthatnewswasbymetransmittedbymessengertoSirWalteratCharon’sGlenIsland，wherethelong—talked—offightbetweenSamsonandGoliathwastakingplace。Raleighimmediatelyreplied，’Good!
Startatonce。Parisfirst。Unlimitedcredit。LovetoElizabeth。’
Wherefore，ladies，"headded，risingfromhischairandwalkingtothedoor——"whereforeyouarehereandinmycare。Makeyourselvescomfortable，andwiththeaidofthefashionpaperswhichyouhavealreadyreceivedprepareyourselvesforthejoysthatawaityou。
WiththeaidofMadameRecamierandBaedeker’sParis，whichyouwillfindinthelibrary，itwillbeyourownfaultifwhenyouarrivethereyouresembleagreatmanylessfortunatewomenwhodon’tknowwhattheywant。"
WiththesewordsKidddisappearedthroughthedoor，andfaintedinthearmsofSirHenryMorgan。Thestrainuponhimhadbeentoogreat。
"Acharmingfellow，"saidPortia，asthepiratedisappeared。
"Mostattractive，"saidElizabeth。
"Handsome，too，don’tyouthink？"askedHelenofTroy。
"Andtruthfulbeyondperadventure，"observedXanthippe，asshereflecteduponthewordsthecaptainhadattributedtoSocrates。"I
didn’tbelievehimatfirst，butwhenhetoldmewhatmysweet—
temperedphilosopherhadsaid，Iwasconvinced。"
"He’sasweetchild，"interposedMrs。Noah，fondly。"Oneofmyfavoritegrandchildren。"
"Whichmakesitembarrassingformetosay，"criedCassandra，startingupangrily，"thatheisabasecaitiff!"
Hadabombbeendroppedinthemiddleoftheroom，itcouldnothavecreatedagreatersensationthanthewordsofCassandra。
"What？"criedseveralvoicesatonce。"Acaitiff？"
"AcaitiffwithacapitalK，"retortedCassandra。"Iknowthat，becausewhilehewastellinghisstoryIwaslisteningtoitwithoneearandlookingforwardintothemiddleofnextweekwiththeother——
Imeantheothereye——andIsaw——"
"Yes，yousaw？"criedCleopatra。
"Isawthathewasdeceivingus。Markmywords，ladies，heisabasecaitiff，"repliedCassandra——"abasecaitiff。"
"Whatdidyousee？"criedElizabeth，excitedly。
"This，"saidCassandra，andshebegananarrationoffutureeventswhichImustdefertothenextchapter。MeanwhilehisassociateswereendeavoringtorestoretheevaporatedportionsoftheprostratedKidd’sspiritanatomybytheuseofasteam—atomizer，butwithindifferentsuccess。Kidd’straininghadnotfittedhimforanintellectualcombatwithsuperiorwomen，andhesufferedaccordingly。
CHAPTERX：AWARNINGACCEPTED
"ItiswithnodesiretointerruptmyfriendCassandraunnecessarily，"saidMrs。Noah，astheprophetesswasabouttonarrateherstory，"thatIrisetobeghertorememberthat，asanancestressofCaptainKidd，Ihopeshewillspareagrandmother’sfeelings，ifanythinginthestorysheisabouttotellisimpropertobeplacedbeforetheyoung。Ihavebeensoshockedbythestoriesofperfidyandbasenessgenerallythathavebeenpublishedoflateyears，thatIwouldinterposeaprotestwhilethereisyettimeifthereisalineinCassandra’sstorywhichoughttobewithheldfromthepublic；aprotestbaseduponmyaffectionforposterity，andintheinterestsofmoralityeverywhere。"
"Youmayresteasyuponthatscore，mydearMrs。Noah，"saidtheprophetess。"WhatIhavetosaywouldcommenditself，Iamsure，eventotheearsofaBritishmatron；andwhileitisascompleteademonstrationofman’sperfidyaseverwas，itisnonethelessasharmlessalittletaleastheDottieDimplebooksoranyothermorerecentstudyofNewEnglandcharacter。"
"Thankyoufortheloadyourwordshaveliftedfrommymind，"saidMrs。Noah，settlingbackinherchair，asatisfiedexpressionuponhergentlecountenance。"IhopeyouwillunderstandwhyIspoke，andwithalwhymodernliteraturegenerallyhasbeensodistressfultome。
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