CHAPTERI

Amongotherpublicbuildingsinacertaintown，whichformanyreasonsitwillbeprudenttorefrainfrommentioning，andtowhichIwillassignnofictitiousname，thereisoneancientlycommontomosttowns，greatorsmall:towit，aworkhouse；andinthisworkhousewasborn；onadayanddatewhichIneednottroublemyselftorepeat，inasmuchasitcanbeofnopossibleconsequencetothereader，inthisstageofthebusinessatallevents；theitemofmortalitywhosenameisprefixedtotheheadofthischapter。

Foralongtimeafteritwasusheredintothisworldofsorrowandtrouble，bytheparishsurgeon，itremainedamatterofconsiderabledoubtwhetherthechildwouldsurvivetobearanynameatall；inwhichcaseitissomewhatmorethanprobablethatthesememoirswouldneverhaveappeared；or，iftheyhad，thatbeingcomprisedwithinacoupleofpages，theywouldhavepossessedtheinestimablemeritofbeingthemostconciseandfaithfulspecimenofbiography，extantintheliteratureofanyageorcountry。

AlthoughIamnotdisposedtomaintainthatthebeingborninaworkhouse，isinitselfthemostfortunateandenviablecircumstancethatcanpossiblybefallahumanbeing，Idomeantosaythatinthisparticularinstance，itwasthebestthingforOliverTwistthatcouldbypossibilityhaveoccurred。Thefactis，thattherewasconsiderabledifficultyininducingOlivertotakeuponhimselftheofficeofrespiration，——atroublesomepractice，butonewhichcustomhasrenderednecessarytooureasyexistence；andforsometimehelaygaspingonalittleflockmattress，ratherunequallypoisedbetweenthisworldandthenext:thebalancebeingdecidedlyinfavourofthelatter。Now，if，duringthisbriefperiod，Oliverhadbeensurroundedbycarefulgrandmothers，anxiousaunts，experiencednurses，anddoctorsofprofoundwisdom，hewouldmostinevitablyandindubitablyhavebeenkilledinnotime。Therebeingnobodyby，however，butapauperoldwoman，whowasrenderedrathermistybyanunwontedallowanceofbeer；andaparishsurgeonwhodidsuchmattersbycontract；OliverandNaturefoughtoutthepointbetweenthem。Theresultwas，that，afterafewstruggles，Oliverbreathed，sneezed，andproceededtoadvertisetotheinmatesoftheworkhousethefactofanewburdenhavingbeenimposedupontheparish，bysettingupasloudacryascouldreasonablyhavebeenexpectedfromamaleinfantwhohadnotbeenpossessedofthatveryusefulappendage，avoice，foramuchlongerspaceoftimethanthreeminutesandaquarter。

AsOlivergavethisfirstproofofthefreeandproperactionofhislungs，thepatchworkcoverletwhichwascarelesslyflungovertheironbedstead，rustled；thepalefaceofayoungwomanwasraisedfeeblyfromthepillow；andafaintvoiceimperfectlyarticulatedthewords，'Letmeseethechild，anddie。'

Thesurgeonhadbeensittingwithhisfaceturnedtowardsthefire:givingthepalmsofhishandsawarmandarubalternately。Astheyoungwomanspoke，herose，andadvancingtothebed'shead，said，withmorekindnessthanmighthavebeenexpectedofhim:

'Oh，youmustnottalkaboutdyingyet。'

'Lorblessherdearheart，no！'interposedthenurse，hastilydepositinginherpocketagreenglassbottle，thecontentsofwhichshehadbeentastinginacornerwithevidentsatisfaction。

'Lorblessherdearheart，whenshehaslivedaslongasIhave，sir，andhadthirteenchildrenofherown，andallon'emdeadexcepttwo，andtheminthewurkuswithme，she'llknowbetterthantotakeoninthatway，blessherdearheart！Thinkwhatitistobeamother，there'sadearyounglambdo。'

Apparentlythisconsolatoryperspectiveofamother'sprospectsfailedinproducingitsdueeffect。Thepatientshookherhead，andstretchedoutherhandtowardsthechild。

Thesurgeondepositeditinherarms。Sheimprintedhercoldwhitelipspassionatelyonitsforehead；passedherhandsoverherface；gazedwildlyround；shuddered；fellback——anddied。

Theychafedherbreast，hands，andtemples；butthebloodhadstoppedforever。Theytalkedofhopeandcomfort。Theyhadbeenstrangerstoolong。

'It'sallover，Mrs。Thingummy！'saidthesurgeonatlast。

'Ah，poordear，soitis！'saidthenurse，pickingupthecorkofthegreenbottle，whichhadfallenoutonthepillow，asshestoopedtotakeupthechild。'Poordear！'

'Youneedn'tmindsendinguptome，ifthechildcries，nurse，'

saidthesurgeon，puttingonhisgloveswithgreatdeliberation。

'It'sverylikelyitWILLbetroublesome。Giveitalittlegruelifitis。'Heputonhishat，and，pausingbythebed-sideonhiswaytothedoor，added，'Shewasagood-lookinggirl，too；

wheredidshecomefrom?'

'Shewasbroughtherelastnight，'repliedtheoldwoman，'bytheoverseer'sorder。Shewasfoundlyinginthestreet。Shehadwalkedsomedistance，forhershoeswereworntopieces；butwhereshecamefrom，orwhereshewasgoingto，nobodyknows。'

Thesurgeonleanedoverthebody，andraisedthelefthand。'Theoldstory，'hesaid，shakinghishead:'nowedding-ring，Isee。

Ah！Good-night！'

Themedicalgentlemanwalkedawaytodinner；andthenurse，havingoncemoreappliedherselftothegreenbottle，satdownonalowchairbeforethefire，andproceededtodresstheinfant。

Whatanexcellentexampleofthepowerofdress，youngOliverTwistwas！Wrappedintheblanketwhichhadhithertoformedhisonlycovering，hemighthavebeenthechildofanoblemanorabeggar；itwouldhavebeenhardforthehaughtieststrangertohaveassignedhimhisproperstationinsociety。Butnowthathewasenvelopedintheoldcalicorobeswhichhadgrownyellowinthesameservice，hewasbadgedandticketed，andfellintohisplaceatonce——aparishchild——theorphanofaworkhouse——thehumble，half-starveddrudge——tobecuffedandbuffetedthroughtheworld——despisedbyall，andpitiedbynone。

Olivercriedlustily。Ifhecouldhaveknownthathewasanorphan，lefttothetendermerciesofchurch-wardensandoverseers，perhapshewouldhavecriedthelouder。

CHAPTERII

TREATSOFOLIVERTWIST'SGROWTH，EDUCATION，ANDBOARD

Forthenexteightortenmonths，Oliverwasthevictimofasystematiccourseoftreacheryanddeception。Hewasbroughtupbyhand。Thehungryanddestitutesituationoftheinfantorphanwasdulyreportedbytheworkhouseauthoritiestotheparishauthorities。Theparishauthoritiesinquiredwithdignityoftheworkhouseauthorities，whethertherewasnofemalethendomiciledin'thehouse'whowasinasituationtoimparttoOliverTwist，theconsolationandnourishmentofwhichhestoodinneed。Theworkhouseauthoritiesrepliedwithhumility，thattherewasnot。

Uponthis，theparishauthoritiesmagnanimouslyandhumanelyresolved，thatOlivershouldbe'farmed，'or，inotherwords，thatheshouldbedispatchedtoabranch-workhousesomethreemilesoff，wheretwentyorthirtyotherjuvenileoffendersagainstthepoor-laws，rolledaboutthefloorallday，withouttheinconvenienceoftoomuchfoodortoomuchclothing，undertheparentalsuperintendenceofanelderlyfemale，whoreceivedtheculpritsatandfortheconsiderationofsevenpence-halfpennypersmallheadperweek。Sevenpence-halfpenny'sworthperweekisagoodrounddietforachild；agreatdealmaybegotforsevenpence-halfpenny，quiteenoughtooverloaditsstomach，andmakeituncomfortable。Theelderlyfemalewasawomanofwisdomandexperience；sheknewwhatwasgoodforchildren；andshehadaveryaccurateperceptionofwhatwasgoodforherself。So，sheappropriatedthegreaterpartoftheweeklystipendtoherownuse，andconsignedtherisingparochialgenerationtoevenashorterallowancethanwasoriginallyprovidedforthem。Therebyfindinginthelowestdepthadeeperstill；andprovingherselfaverygreatexperimentalphilosopher。

Everybodyknowsthestoryofanotherexperimentalphilosopherwhohadagreattheoryaboutahorsebeingabletolivewithouteating，andwhodemonstrateditsowell，thathehadgothisownhorsedowntoastrawaday，andwouldunquestionablyhaverenderedhimaveryspiritedandrampaciousanimalonnothingatall，ifhehadnotdied，four-and-twentyhoursbeforehewastohavehadhisfirstcomfortablebaitofair。Unfortunatelyfor，theexperimenalphilosophyofthefemaletowhoseprotectingcareOliverTwistwasdeliveredover，asimilarresultusuallyattendedtheoperationofHERsystem；forattheverymomentwhenthechildhadcontrivedtoexistuponthesmallestpossibleportionoftheweakestpossiblefood，itdidperverselyhappenineightandahalfcasesoutoften，eitherthatitsickenedfromwantandcold，orfellintothefirefromneglect，orgothalf-smotheredbyaccident；inanyoneofwhichcases，themiserablelittlebeingwasusuallysummonedintoanotherworld，andtheregatheredtothefathersithadneverknowninthis。

Occasionally，whentherewassomemorethanusuallyinterestinginquestuponaparishchildwhohadbeenoverlookedinturningupabedstead，orinadvertentlyscaldedtodeathwhentherehappenedtobeawashing——thoughthelatteraccidentwasveryscarce，anythingapproachingtoawashingbeingofrareoccuranceinthefarm——thejurywouldtakeitintotheirheadstoasktroublesomequestions，ortheparishionerswouldrebelliouslyaffixtheirsignaturestoaremonstrance。Buttheseimpertinenceswerespeedilycheckedbytheevidenceofthesurgeon，andthetestimonyofthebeadle；theformerofwhomhadalwaysopenedthebodyandfoundnothinginside(whichwasveryprobableindeed)，andthelatterofwhominvariablysworewhatevertheparishwanted；whichwasveryself-devotional。Besides，theboardmadeperiodicalpilgrimagestothefarm，andalwayssentthebeadlethedaybefore，tosaytheyweregoing。Thechildrenwereneatandcleantobehold，whenTHEYwent；andwhatmorewouldthepeoplehave！

Itcannotbeexpectedthatthissystemoffarmingwouldproduceanyveryextraordinaryorluxuriantcrop。OliverTwist'sninthbirthdayfoundhimapalethinchild，somewhatdiminutiveinstature，anddecidelysmallincircumference。ButnatureorinheritancehadimplantedagoodsturdyspiritinOliver'sbreast。Ithadhadplentyofroomtoexpand，thankstothesparedietoftheestablishment；andperhapstothiscircumstancemaybeattributedhishavinganyninthbirth-dayatall。Bethisasitmay，however，itwashisninthbirthday；andhewaskeepingitinthecoal-cellarwithaselectpartyoftwootheryounggentleman，who，afterparticipatingwithhiminasoundthrashing，hadbeenlockedupforatrociouslypresumingtobehungry，whenMrs。Mann，thegoodladyofthehouse，wasunexpectedlystartledbytheapparitionofMr。Bumble，thebeadle，strivingtoundothewicketofthegarden-gate。

'Goodnessgracious！Isthatyou，Mr。Bumble，sir?'saidMrs。

Mann，thrustingherheadoutofthewindowinwell-affectedecstasiesofjoy。'(Susan，takeOliverandthemtwobratsupstairs，andwash'emdirectly。)——Myheartalive！Mr。Bumble，howgladIamtoseeyou，sure-ly！'

Now，Mr。Bumblewasafatman，andacholeric；so，insteadofrespondingtothisopen-heartedsalutationinakindredspirit，hegavethelittlewicketatremendousshake，andthenbestoweduponitakickwhichcouldhaveemanatedfromnolegbutabeadle's。

'Lor，onlythink，'saidMrs。Mann，runningout，——forthethreeboyshadbeenremovedbythistime，——'onlythinkofthat！ThatI

shouldhaveforgottenthatthegatewasboltedontheinside，onaccountofthemdearchildren！Walkinsir；walkin，pray，Mr。

Bumble，do，sir。'

Althoughthisinvitationwasaccompaniedwithacurtseythatmighthavesoftenedtheheartofachurch-warden，itbynomeansmollifiedthebeadle。

'Doyouthinkthisrespectfulorproperconduct，Mrs。Mann，'

inquiredMr。Bumble，graspinghiscane，'tokeeptheparishofficersawaitingatyourgarden-gate，whentheycomehereuponporochialbusinesswiththeporochialorphans?Areyouaweer，Mrs。Mann，thatyouare，asImaysay，aporochialdelegate，andastipendiary?'

'I'msureMr。Bumble，thatIwasonlyatellingoneortwoofthedearchildrenasissofondofyou，thatitwasyouacoming，'

repliedMrs。Mannwithgreathumility。

Mr。Bumblehadagreatideaofhisoratoricalpowersandhisimportance。Hehaddisplayedtheone，andvindicatedtheother。

Herelaxed。

'Well，well，Mrs。Mann，'herepliedinacalmertone；'itmaybeasyousay；itmaybe。Leadthewayin，Mrs。Mann，forIcomeonbusiness，andhavesomethingtosay。'

Mrs。Mannusheredthebeadleintoasmallparlourwithabrickfloor；placedaseatforhim；andofficiouslydepositedhiscockedhatandcanonthetablebeforehim。Mr。Bumblewipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhiswalkhadengendered，glancedcomplacentlyatthecockedhat，andsmiled。Yes，hesmiled。Beadlesarebutmen:andMr。Bumblesmiled。

'Nowdon'tyoubeoffendedatwhatI'magoingtosay，'observedMrs。Mann，withcaptivatingsweetness。'You'vehadalongwalk，youknow，orIwouldn'tmentionit。Now，willyoutakealittledropofsomethink，Mr。Bumble?'

'Notadrop。Noradrop，'saidMr。Bumble，wavinghisrighthandinadignified，butplacidmanner。

'Ithinkyouwill，'saidMrs。Mann，whohadnoticedthetoneoftherefusal，andthegesturethathadaccompaniedit。'Justaleetledrop，withalittlecoldwater，andalumpofsugar。'

Mr。Bumblecoughed。

'Now，justaleetledrop，'saidMrs。Mannpersuasively。

'Whatisit?'inquiredthebeadle。

'Why，it'swhatI'mobligedtokeepalittleofinthehouse，toputintotheblessedinfants'Daffy，whentheyain'twell，Mr。

Bumble，'repliedMrs。Mannassheopenedacornercupboard，andtookdownabottleandglass。'It'sgin。I'llnotdeceiveyou，Mr。B。It'sgin。'

'DoyougivethechildrenDaffy，Mrs。Mann?'inquiredBumble，followingwiththiseyestheinterestingprocessofmixing。

'Ah，bless'em，thatIdo，dearasitis，'repliedthenurse。'I

couldn'tsee'emsufferbeforemyveryeyes，youknowsir。'

'No'；saidMr。Bumbleapprovingly；'no，youcouldnot。Youareahumanewoman，Mrs。Mann。'(Hereshesetdowntheglass。)'I

shalltakeaearlyopportunityofmentioningittotheboard，Mrs。Mann。'(Hedrewittowardshim。)'Youfeelasamother，Mrs。Mann。'(Hestirredthegin-and-water。)'I——Idrinkyourhealthwithcheerfulness，Mrs。Mann'；andheswallowedhalfofit。

'Andnowaboutbusiness，'saidthebeadle，takingoutaleathernpocket-book。'Thechildthatwashalf-baptizedOliverTwist，isnineyearoldto-day。；

'Blesshim！'interposedMrs。Mann，inflamingherlefteyewiththecornerofherapron。

'Andnotwithstandingaofferedrewardoftenpound，whichwasafterwardsincreasedtotwentypound。Notwithstandingthemostsuperlative，and，Imaysay，supernat'ralexertionsonthepartofthisparish，'saidBumble，'wehaveneverbeenabletodiscoverwhoishisfather，orwhatwashismother'ssettlement，name，orcon——dition。'

MrsMannraisedherhandsinastonishment；butadded，afteramoment'sreflection，'Howcomeshetohaveanynameatall，then?'

Thebeadledrewhimselfupwithgreatpride，andsaid，'I

inwentedit。'

'You，Mr。Bumble！'

'I，Mrs。Mann。Wenameourfondlingsinalphabeticalorder。ThelastwasaS，——Swubble，Inamedhim。ThiswasaT，——Twist，I

namedHIM。ThenextonecomeswillbeUnwin，andthenextVilkins。Ihavegotnamesreadymadetotheendofthealphabet，andallthewaythroughitagain，whenwecometoZ。'

'Why，you'requitealiterarycharacter，sir！'saidMrs。Mann。

'Well，well，'saidthebeadle，evidentlygratifiedwiththecompliment；'perhapsImaybe。PerhapsImaybe，Mrs。Mann。'Hefinishedthegin-and-water，andadded，'Oliverbeingnowtoooldtoremainhere，theboardhavedeterminedtohavehimbackintothehouse。Ihavecomeoutmyselftotakehimthere。Soletmeseehimatonce。'

'I'llfetchhimdirectly，'saidMrs。Mann，leavingtheroomforthatpurpose。Oliver，havinghadbythistimeasmuchoftheoutercoatofdirtwhichencrustedhisfaceandhands，removed，ascouldbescrubbedoffinonewashing，wasledintotheroombyhisbenevolentprotectress。

'Makeabowtothegentleman，Oliver，'saidMrs。Mann。

Olivermadeabow，whichwasdividedbetweenthebeadleonthechair，andthecockedhatonthetable。

'Willyougoalongwithme，Oliver?'saidMr。Bumble，inamajesticvoice。

Oliverwasabouttosaythathewouldgoalongwithanybodywithgreatreadiness，when，glancingupward，hecaughtsightofMrs。

Mann，whohadgotbehindthebeadle'schair，andwasshakingherfistathimwithafuriouscountenance。Hetookthehintatonce，forthefisthadbeentoooftenimpresseduponhisbodynottobedeeplyimpresseduponhisrecollection。

'Willshegowithme?'inquiredpoorOliver。

'No，shecan't，'repliedMr。Bumble。'Butshe'llcomeandseeyousometimes。'

Thiswasnoverygreatconsolationtothechild。Youngashewas，however，hehadsenseenoughtomakeafeintoffeelinggreatregretatgoingaway。Itwasnoverydifficultmatterfortheboytocalltearsintohiseyes。Hungerandrecentill-usagearegreatassistantsifyouwanttocry；andOlivercriedverynaturallyindeed。Mrs。Manngavehimathousandembraces，andwhatOliverwantedagreatdealmore，apieceofbreadandbutter，lessheshouldseemtoohungrywhenhegottotheworkhouse。Withthesliceofbreadinhishand，andthelittlebrown-clothparishcaponhishead，OliverwasthenledawaybyMr。Bumblefromthewretchedhomewhereonekindwordorlookhadneverlightedthegloomofhisinfantyears。Andyetheburstintoanagonyofchildishgrief，asthecottage-gateclosedafterhim。Wretchedaswerethelittlecompanionsinmiseryhewasleavingbehind，theyweretheonlyfriendshehadeverknown；andasenseofhislonelinessinthegreatwideworld，sankintothechild'sheartforthefirsttime。

Mr。Bumblewalkedonwithlongstrides；littleOliver，firmlygraspinghisgold-lacedcuff，trottedbesidehim，inquiringattheendofeveryquarterofamilewhethertheywere'nearlythere。'TotheseinterrogationsMr。Bumblereturnedverybriefandsnappishreplies；forthetemporaryblandnesswhichgin-and-waterawakensinsomebosomshadbythistimeevaporated；

andhewasonceagainabeadle。

Oliverhadnotbeenwithinthewallsoftheworkhouseaquarterofanhour，andhadscarcelycompletedthedemolitionofasecondsliceofbread，whenMr。Bumble，whohadhandedhimovertothecareofanoldwoman，returned；and，tellinghimitwasaboardnight，informedhimthattheboardhadsaidhewastoappearbeforeitforthwith。

Nothavingaveryclearlydefinednotionofwhataliveboardwas，Oliverwasratherastoundedbythisintelligence，andwasnotquitecertainwhetherheoughttolaughorcry。Hehadnotimetothinkaboutthematter，however；forMr。Bumblegavehimataponthehead，withhiscane，towakehimup:andanotheronthebacktomakehimlively:andbiddinghimtofollow，conductedhimintoalargewhite-washedroom，whereeightortenfatgentlemenweresittingroundatable。Atthetopofthetable，seatedinanarm-chairratherhigherthantherest，wasaparticularlyfatgentlemanwithaveryround，redface。

'Bowtotheboard，'saidBumble。Oliverbrushedawaytwoorthreetearsthatwerelingeringinhiseyes；andseeingnoboardbutthetable，fortunatelybowedtothat。

'What'syourname，boy?'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair。

Oliverwasfrightenedatthesightofsomanygentlemen，whichmadehimtremble:andthebeadlegavehimanothertapbehind，whichmadehimcry。Thesetwocausesmadehimanswerinaverylowandhesitatingvoice；whereuponagentlemaninawhitewaistcoatsaidhewasafool。Whichwasacapitalwayofraisinghisspirits，andputtinghimquiteathisease。

'Boy，'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair，'listentome。Youknowyou'reanorphan，Isuppose?'

'What'sthat，sir?'inquiredpoorOliver。

'TheboyISafool——Ithoughthewas，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。

'Hush！'saidthegentlemanwhohadspokenfirst。'Youknowyou'vegotnofatherormother，andthatyouwerebroughtupbytheparish，don'tyou?'

'Yes，sir，'repliedOliver，weepingbitterly。

'Whatareyoucryingfor?'inquiredthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Andtobesureitwasveryextraordinary。WhatCOULD

theboybecryingfor?

'Ihopeyousayyourprayerseverynight，'saidanothergentlemaninagruffvoice；'andprayforthepeoplewhofeedyou，andtakecareofyou——likeaChristian。'

'Yes，sir，'stammeredtheboy。Thegentlemanwhospokelastwasunconsciouslyright。ItwouldhavebeenverylikeaChristian，andamarvellouslygoodChristiantoo，ifOliverhadprayedforthepeoplewhofedandtookcareofHIM。Buthehadn't，becausenobodyhadtaughthim。

'Well！Youhavecomeheretobeeducated，andtaughtausefultrade，'saidthered-facedgentlemaninthehighchair。

'Soyou'llbegintopickoakumto-morrowmorningatsixo'clock，'

addedthesurlyoneinthewhitewaistcoat。

Forthecombinationofboththeseblessingsintheonesimpleprocessofpickingoakum，Oliverbowedlowbythedirectionofthebeadle，andwasthenhurriedawaytoalargeward；where，onarough，hardbed，hesobbedhimselftosleep。WhatanovelillustrationofthetenderlawsofEngland！Theyletthepaupersgotosleep！

PoorOliver！Helittlethought，ashelaysleepinginhappyunconsciousnessofallaroundhim，thattheboardhadthatverydayarrivedatadecisionwhichwouldexercisethemostmaterialinfluenceoverallhisfuturefortunes。Buttheyhad。Andthiswasit:

Themembersofthisboardwereverysage，deep，philosophicalmen；andwhentheycametoturntheirattentiontotheworkhouse，theyfoundoutatonce，whatordinaryfolkswouldnverhavediscovered——thepoorpeoplelikedit！Itwasaregularplaceofpublicentertainmentforthepoorerclasses；atavernwheretherewasnothingtopay；apublicbreakfast，dinner，tea，andsupperalltheyearround；abrickandmortarelysium，whereitwasallplayandnowork。'Oho！'saidtheboard，lookingveryknowing；

'wearethefellowstosetthistorights；we'llstopitall，innotime。'So，theyestablishedtherule，thatallpoorpeopleshouldhavethealternative(fortheywouldcompelnobody，notthey)，ofbeingstarvedbyagradualprocessinthehouse，orbyaquickoneoutofit。Withthisview，theycontractedwiththewater-workstolayonanunlimitedsupplyofwater；andwithacorn-factortosupplyperiodicallysmallquantitiesofoatmeal；

andissuedthreemealsofthingrueladay，withanoniontwiceaweek，andhalfarollofSundays。Theymadeagreatmanyotherwiseandhumaneregulations，havingreferencetotheladies，whichitisnotnecessarytorepeat；kindlyundertooktodivorcepoormarriedpeople，inconsequenceofthegreatexpenseofasuitinDoctors'Commons；and，insteadofcompellingamantosupporthisfamily，astheyhadtheretoforedone，tookhisfamilyawayfromhim，andmadehimabachelor！Thereisnosayinghowmanyapplicantsforrelief，undertheselasttwoheads，mighthavestartedupinallclassesofsociety，ifithadnotbeencoupledwiththeworkhouse；buttheboardwerelong-headedmen，andhadprovidedforthisdifficulty。Thereliefwasinseparablefromtheworkhouseandthegruel；andthatfrightenedpeople。

ForthefirstsixmonthsafterOliverTwistwasremoved，thesystemwasinfulloperation。Itwasratherexpensiveatfirst，inconsequenceoftheincreaseintheundertaker'sbill，andthenecessityoftakingintheclothesofallthepaupers，whichflutteredlooselyontheirwasted，shrunkenforms，afteraweekortwo'sgruel。Butthenumberofworkhouseinmatesgotthinaswellasthepaupers；andtheboardwereinecstasies。

Theroominwhichtheboyswerefed，wasalargestonehall，withacopperatoneend:outofwhichthemaster，dressedinanapronforthepurpose，andassistedbyoneortwowomen，ladledthegruelatmealtimes。Ofthisfestivecompositioneachboyhadoneporringer，andnomore——exceptonoccasionsofgreatpublicrejoicing，whenhehadtwoouncesandaquarterofbreadbesides。

Thebowlsneverwantedwashing。Theboyspolishedthemwiththeirspoonstilltheyshoneagain；andwhentheyhadperformedthisoperation(whichnevertookverylong，thespoonsbeingnearlyaslargeasthebowls)，theywouldsitstaringatthecopper，withsucheagereyes，asiftheycouldhavedevouredtheverybricksofwhichitwascomposed；employingthemselves，meanwhile，insuckingtheirfingersmostassiduously，withtheviewofcatchingupanystraysplashesofgruelthatmighthavebeencastthereon。Boyshavegenerallyexcellentappetites。

OliverTwistandhiscompanionssufferedthetorturesofslowstarvationforthreemonths:atlasttheygotsovoraciousandwildwithhunger，thatoneboy，whowastallforhisage，andhadn'tbeenusedtothatsortofthing(forhisfatherhadkeptasmallcook-shop)，hinteddarklytohiscompanions，thatunlesshehadanotherbasinofgruelperdiem，hewasafraidhemightsomenighthappentoeattheboywhosleptnexthim，whohappenedtobeaweaklyyouthoftenderage。Hehadawild，hungryeye；andtheyimplicitlybelievedhim。Acouncilwasheld；lotswerecastwhoshouldwalkuptothemasteraftersupperthatevening，andaskformore；anditfelltoOliverTwist。

Theeveningarrived；theboystooktheirplaces。Themaster，inhiscook'suniform，stationedhimselfatthecopper；hispauperassistantsrangedthemselvesbehindhim；thegruelwasservedout；andalonggracewassaidovertheshortcommons。Thegrueldisappeared；theboyswhisperedeachother，andwinkedatOliver；

whilehisnextneighboursnudgedhim。Childashewas，hewasdesperatewithhunger，andrecklesswithmisery。Herosefromthetable；andadvancingtothemaster，basinandspooninhand，said:somewhatalarmedathisowntemerity:

'Please，sir，Iwantsomemore。'

Themasterwasafat，healthyman；butheturnedverypale。Hegazedinstupifiedastonishmentonthesmallrebelforsomeseconds，andthenclungforsupporttothecopper。Theassistantswereparalysedwithwonder；theboyswithfear。

'What！'saidthemasteratlength，inafaintvoice。

'Please，sir，'repliedOliver，'Iwantsomemore。'

ThemasteraimedablowatOliver'sheadwiththeladle；pinionedhiminhisarm；andshriekedaloudforthebeadle。

Theboardweresittinginsolemnconclave，whenMr。Bumblerushedintotheroomingreatexcitement，andaddressingthegentlemaninthehighchair，said，'Mr。Limbkins，Ibegyourpardon，sir！OliverTwisthasaskedformore！'

Therewasageneralstart。Horrorwasdepictedoneverycountenance。

'ForMORE！'saidMr。Limbkins。'Composeyourself，Bumble，andanswermedistinctly。DoIunderstandthatheaskedformore，afterhehadeatenthesupperallottedbythedietary?'

'Hedid，sir，'repliedBumble。

'Thatboywillbehung，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。'Iknowthatboywillbehung。'

Nobodycontrovertedthepropheticgentleman'sopinion。Ananimateddiscussiontookplace。Oliverwasorderedintoinstantconfinement；andabillwasnextmorningpastedontheoutsideofthegate，offeringarewardoffivepoundstoanybodywhowouldtakeOliverTwistoffthehandsoftheparish。Inotherwords，fivepoundsandOliverTwistwereofferedtoanymanorwomanwhowantedanapprenticetoanytrade，business，orcalling。

'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，asheknockedatthegateandreadthebillnextmorning:'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，thanIamthatthatboywillcometobehung。'

AsIpurposetoshowinthesequelwhetherthewhitewaistcoatedgentlemanwasrightornot，Ishouldperhapsmartheinterestofthisnarrative(supposingittopossessanyatall)，ifI

venturedtohintjustyet，whetherthelifeofOliverTwisthadthisviolentterminationorno。

CHAPTERIII

RELATESHOWOLIVERTWISTWASVERYNEARGETTINGAPLACEWHICH

WOULDNOTHAVEBEENASINECURE

Foraweekafterthecommissionoftheimpiousandprofaneoffenceofaskingformore，Oliverremainedacloseprisonerinthedarkandsolitaryroomtowhichhehadbeenconsignedbythewisdomandmercyoftheboard。Itappears，atfirstsightnotunreasonabletosuppose，that，ifhehadentertainedabecomingfeelingofrespectforthepredictionofthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，hewouldhaveestablishedthatsageindividual'spropheticcharacter，onceandforever，bytyingoneendofhispocket-handkerchieftoahookinthewall，andattachinghimselftotheother。Totheperformanceofthisfeat，however，therewasoneobstacle:namely，thatpocket-handkerchiefsbeingdecidedarticlesofluxury，hadbeen，forallfuturetimesandages，removedfromthenosesofpaupersbytheexpressorderoftheboard，incouncilassembled:solemnlygivenandpronouncedundertheirhandsandseals。TherewasastillgreaterobstacleinOliver'syouthandchildishness。Heonlycriedbitterlyallday；and，whenthelong，dismalnightcameon，spreadhislittlehandsbeforehiseyestoshutoutthedarkness，andcrouchinginthecorner，triedtosleep:everandanonwakingwithastartandtremble，anddrawinghimselfcloserandclosertothewall，asiftofeelevenitscoldhardsurfacewereaprotectioninthegloomandlonelinesswhichsurroundedhim。

Letitnotbesupposedbytheenemiesof'thesystem，'that，duringtheperiodofhissolitaryincarceration，Oliverwasdeniedthebenefitofexercise，thepleasureofsociety，ortheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation。Asforexercise，itwasnicecoldweather，andhewasallowedtoperformhisablutionseverymorningunderthepump，inastoneyard，inthepresenceofMr。Bumble，whopreventedhiscatchingcold，andcausedatinglingsensationtopervadehisframe，byrepeatedapplicationsofthecane。Asforsociety，hewascarriedeveryotherdayintothehallwheretheboysdined，andtheresociablyfloggedasapublicwarningandexample。Andsoforfrombeingdeniedtheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation，hewaskickedintothesameapartmenteveryeveningatprayer-time，andtherepermittedtolistento，andconsolehismindwith，ageneralsupplicationoftheboys，containingaspecialclause，thereininsertedbyauthorityoftheboard，inwhichtheyentreatedtobemadegood，virtuous，contented，andobedient，andtobeguardedfromthesinsandvicesofOliverTwist:whomthesupplicationdistinctlysetforthtobeundertheexclusivepatronageandprotectionofthepowersofwickedness，andanarticledirectfromthemanufactoryoftheveryDevilhimself。

Itchancedonemorning，whileOliver'saffairswereinthisauspiciousandconfortablestate，thatMr。Gamfield，chimney-sweep，wenthiswaydowntheHighStreet，deeplycogitatinginhismindhiswaysandmeansofpayingcertainarrearsofrent，forwhichhislandlordhadbecomeratherpressing。Mr。Gamfield'smostsanguineestimateofhisfinancescouldnotraisethemwithinfullfivepoundsofthedesiredamount；and，inaspeciesofarthimeticaldesperation，hewasalternatelycudgellinghisbrainsandhisdonkey，whenpassingtheworkhouse，hiseyesencounteredthebillonthegate。

'Wo——o！'saidMr。Gamfieldtothedonkey。

Thedonkeywasinastateofprofoundabstraction:wondering，probably，whetherhewasdestinedtoberegaledwithacabbage-stalkortwowhenhehaddisposedofthetwosacksofsootwithwhichthelittlecartwasladen；so，withoutnoticingthewordofcommand，hejoggedonward。

Mr。Gamfieldgrowledafierceimprecationonthedonkeygenerally，butmoreparticularlyonhiseyes；and，runningafterhim，bestowedablowonhishead，whichwouldinevitablyhavebeateninanyskullbutadonkey's。Then，catchingholdofthebridle，hegavehisjawasharpwrench，bywayofgentlereminderthathewasnothisownmaster；andbythesemeansturnedhimround。Hethengavehimanotherblowonthehead，justtostunhimtillhecamebackagain。Havingcompletedthesearrangements，hewalkeduptothegate，toreadthebill。

Thegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatwasstandingatthegatewithhishandsbehindhim，afterhavingdeliveredhimselfofsomeprofoundsentimentsintheboard-room。HavingwitnessedthelittledisputebetweenMr。Gamfieldandthedonkey，hesmiledjoyouslywhenthatpersoncameuptoreadthebill，forhesawatoncethatMr。GamfieldwasexactlythesortofmasterOliverTwistwanted。Mr。Gamfieldsmiled，too，asheperusedthedocument；forfivepoundswasjustthesumhehadbeenwishingfor；and，astotheboywithwhichitwasencumbered，Mr。

Gamfield，knowingwhatthedietaryoftheworkhousewas，wellknewhewouldbeanicesmallpattern，justtheverythingforregisterstoves。So，hespeltthebillthroughagain，frombeginningtoend；andthen，touchinghisfurcapintokenofhumility，accostedthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。

'Thishereboy，sir，wottheparishwantsto'prentis，'saidMr。

Gamfield。

'Ay，myman，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，withacondescendingsmile。'Whatofhim?'

'Iftheparishvouldlikehimtolearnarightpleasanttrade，inagood'spectablechimbley-sweepin'bisness，'saidMr。Gamfield，'Iwantsa'prentis，andIamreadytotakehim。'

'Walkin，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Mr。

Gamfieldhavinglingeredbehind，togivethedonkeyanotherblowonthehead，andanotherwrenchofthejaw，asacautionnottorunawayinhisabsence，followedthegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatintotheroomwhereOliverhadfirstseenhim。

'It'sanastytrade，'saidMr。Limbkins，whenGamfieldhadagainstatedhiswish。

'Youngboyshavebeensmotheredinchimneysbeforenow，'saidanothergentleman。

'That'sacausetheydampedthestrawaforetheylititinthechimbleytomake'emcomedownagain，'saidGamfield；'that'sallsmoke，andnoblaze；vereassmokeain'to'nouseatallinmakingaboycomedown，foritonlysindshimtosleep，andthat'swothelikes。Boysisweryobstinit，andwerylazy，Gen'l'men，andthere'snothinklikeagoodhotblazetomake'emcomedownvitharun。It'shumanetoo，gen'l'men，acause，evenifthey'vestuckinthechimbley，roastingtheirfeetmakes'emstruggletohextricatetheirselves。'

Thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatappearedverymuchamusedbythisexplanation；buthismirthwasspeedilycheckedbyalookfromMr。Limbkins。Theboardthenproceddedtoconverseamongthemselvesforafewminutes，butinsolowatone，thatthewords'savingofexpenditure，''lookedwellintheaccounts，'

'haveaprintedreportpublished，'werealoneaudible。Theseonlychancedtobeheard，indeed，oraccountoftheirbeingveryfrequentlyrepeatedwithgreatemphasis。

Atlengththewhisperingceased；andthemembersoftheboard，havingresumedtheirseatsandtheirsolemnity，Mr。Limbkinssaid:

'Wehaveconsideredyourproposition，andwedon'tapproveofit。'

'Notatall，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。

'Decidedlynot，'addedtheothermembers。

AsMr。Gamfielddidhappentolabourundertheslightimputationofhavingbruisedthreeorfourboystodeathalready，itoccurredtohimthattheboardhad，perhaps，insomeunaccountablefreak，takenitintotheirheadsthatthisextraneouscircumstanceoughttoinfluencetheirproceedings。Itwasveryunliketheirgeneralmodeofdoingbusiness，iftheyhad；butstill，ashehadnoparticularwishtorevivetherumour，hetwistedhiscapinhishands，andwalkedslowlyfromthetable。

'Soyouwon'tletmehavehim，gen'l'men?'saidMr。Gamfield，pausingnearthedoor。

'No，'repliedMr。Limbkins；'atleast，asit'sanastybusiness，wethinkyououghttotakesomethinglessthanthepremiumweoffered。'

Mr。Gamfield'scountenancebrightened，as，withaquickstep，hereturnedtothetable，andsaid，'What'llyougive，gen'l'men?Come！Don'tbetoohardonapoorman。What'llyougive?'

'Ishouldsay，threepoundtenwasplenty，'saidMr。Limbkins。

'Tenshillingstoomuch，'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。

'Come！'saidGamfield；'sayfourpound，gen'l'men。Sayfourpound，andyou'vegotridofhimforgoodandall。There！'

'Threepoundten，'repeatedMr。Limbkins，firmly。

'Come！I'llsplitthediff'erence，gen'l'men，urgedGamfield。

'Threepoundfifteen。'

'Notafarthingmore，'wasthefirmreplyofMr。Limbkins。

'You'redesperateharduponme，gen'l'men，saidGamfield，wavering。

'Pooh！pooh！nonsense！'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。'He'dbecheapwithnothingatall，asapremium。

Takehim，yousillyfellow！He'sjusttheboyforyou。Hewantsthestick，nowandthen:it'lldohimgood；andhisboardneedn'tcomeveryexpensive，forhehasn'tbeenoverfedsincehewasborn。Ha！ha！ha！'

Mr。Gamfieldgaveanarchlookatthefacesroundthetable，and，observingasmileonallofthem，graduallybrokeintoasmilehimself。Thebargainwasmade。Mr。Bumble，wasatonceinstructedthatOliverTwistandhisindenturesweretobeconveyedbeforethemagistrate，forsignatureandapproval，thatveryafternoon。

Inpursuanceofthisdetermination，littleOliver，tohisexcessiveastonishment，wasreleasedfrombondage，andorderedtoputhimselfintoacleanshirt。Hehadhardlyachievedthisveryunusualgymnasticperformance，whenMr。Bumblebroughthim，withhisownhands，abasinofgruel，andtheholidayallowanceoftwoouncesandaquarterofbread。Atthistremendoussight，Oliverbegantocryverypiteously:thinking，notunaturally，thattheboardmusthavedeterminedtokillhimforsomeusefulpurpose，ortheyneverwouldhavebeguntofattenhimupinthatway。

'Don'tmakeyoureyesred，Oliver，buteatyourfoodandbethankful，'saidMr。Bumble，inatoneofimpressivepomposity。

'You'reagoingtobemadea'prenticeof，Oliver。'

'Aprentice，sir！'saidthechild，trembling。

'Yes，Oliver，'saidMr。Bumble。'Thekindandblessedgentlemanwhichissoamnyparentstoyou，Oliver，whenyouhavenoneofyourown:areagoingto'prenticeyou:andtosetyouupinlife，andmakeamanofyou:althoughtheexpensetotheparishisthreepoundten！——threepoundten，Oliver！——seventyshillins——onehundredandfortysixpences！——andallforanaughtyorphanwhichnobodaycan'tlove。'

AsMr。Bumblepausedtotakebreath，afterdeliveringthisaddressinanawfulvoice，thetearsrolleddownthepoorchild'sface，andhesobbedbitterly。

'Come，'saidMr。Bumble，somewhatlesspompously，foritwasgratifyingtohisfeelingstoobservetheeffecthiseloquencehadproduced；'Come，Oliver！Wipeyoureyeswiththecuffsofyourjacket，anddon'tcryintoyourgruel；that'saveryfoolishaction，Oliver。'Itcertainlywas，fortherewasquiteenoughwaterinitalready。

Ontheirwaytothemagistrate，Mr。BumbleinstructedOliverthatallhewouldhavetodo，wouldbetolookveryhappy，andsay，whenthegentlemanaskedhimifhewantedtobeapprenticed，thatheshouldlikeitverymuchindeed；bothofwhichinjunctionsOliverpromisedtoobey:theratherasMr。Bumblethrewinagentlehint，thatifhefailedineitherparticular，therewasnotellingwhatwouldbedonetohim。Whentheyarrivedattheoffice，hewasshutupinalittleroombyhimself，andadmonishedbyMr。Bumbletostaythere，untilhecamebacktofetchhim。

Theretheboyremained，withapalpitatingheart，forhalfanhour。AttheexpirationofwhichtimeMr。Bumblethrustinhishead，unadornedwiththecockedhat，andsaidaloud:

'Now，Oliver，mydear，cometothegentleman。'AsMr。Bumblesaidthis，heputonagrimandthreateninglook，andadded，inalowvoice，'MindwhatItoldyou，youyoungrascal！'

OliverstaredinnocentlyinMr。Bumble'sfaceatthissomewhatcontradictorystyleofaddress；butthatgentlemanpreventedhisofferinganyremarkthereupon，byleadinghimatonceintoanadjoiningroom:thedoorofwhichwasopen。Itwasalargeroom，withagreatwindow。Behindadesk，sattwooldgentlemanwithpowderedheads:oneofwhomwasreadingthenewspaper；whiletheotherwasperusing，withtheaidofapairoftortoise-shellspectacles，asmallpieceofparchmentwhichlaybeforehim。Mr。

Limbkinswasstandinginfrontofthedeskononeside；andMr。

Gamfield，withapartiallywashedface，ontheother；whiletwoorthreebluff-lookingmen，intop-boots，wereloungingabout。

Theoldgentlemanwiththespectaclesgraduallydozedoff，overthelittlebitofparchment；andtherewasashortpause，afterOliverhadbeenstationedbyMr。Bumbleinfrontofthedesk。

'Thisistheboy，yourworship，'saidMr。Bumble。

Theoldgentlemanwhowasreadingthenewspaperraisedhisheadforamoment，andpulledtheotheroldgentlemanbythesleeve；

whereupon，thelast-mentionedoldgentlemanwokeup。

'Oh，isthistheboy?'saidtheoldgentleman。

'Thisishim，sir，'repliedMr。Bumble。'Bowtothemagistrate，mydear。'

Oliverrousedhimself，andmadehisbestobeisance。Hehadbeenwondering，withhiseyesfixedonthemagistrates'powder，whetherallboardswerebornwiththatwhitestuffontheirheads，andwereboardsfromthenceforthonthataccount。

'Well，'saidtheoldgentleman，'Isupposehe'sfondofchimney-sweeping?'

'Hedoatsonit，yourworship，'repliedBumble；givingOliveraslypinch，tointimatethathehadbetternotsayhedidn't。

'AndheWILLbeasweep，willhe?'inquiredtheoldgentleman。

'Ifwewastobindhimtoanyothertradeto-morrow，he'drunawaysimultaneous，yourworship，'repliedBumble。

'Andthismanthat'stobehismaster——you，sir——you'lltreathimwell，andfeedhim，anddoallthatsortofthing，willyou?'

saidtheoldgentleman。

'WhenIsaysIwill，ImeansIwill，'repliedMr。Gamfielddoggedly。

'You'rearoughspeaker，myfriend，butyoulookanhonest，open-heartedman，'saidtheoldgentleman:turninghisspectaclesinthedirectionofthecandidateforOliver'spremium，whosevillainouscountenancewasaregularstampedreceiptforcruelty。Butthemagistratewashalfblindandhalfchildish，sohecouldn'treasonablybeexpectedtodiscernwhatotherpeopledid。

'IhopeIam，sir，'saidMr。Gamfield，withanuglyleer。

'Ihavenodoubtyouare，myfriend，'repliedtheoldgentleman:

fixinghisspectaclesmorefirmlyonhisnose，andlookingabouthimfortheinkstand。

ItwasthecriticalmomentofOliver'sfate。Iftheinkstandhadbeenwheretheoldgentlemanthoughitwas，hewouldhavedippedhispenintoit，andsignedtheindentures，andOliverwouldhavebeenstraightwayhurriedoff。But，asitchancedtobeimmediatelyunderhisnose，itfollowed，asamatterofcourse，thathelookedalloverhisdeskforit，withoutfindingit；andhappeninginthecourseofhissearchtolookstraightbeforehim，hisgazeencounteredthepaleandterrifiedfaceofOliverTwist:who，despitealltheadmonitorylooksandpinchesofBumble，wasregardingtherepulsivecountenanceofhisfuturemaster，withamingledexpressionofhorrorandfear，toopalpabletobemistaken，evenbyahalf-blindmagistrate。

Theoldgentlemanstopped，laiddownhispen，andlookedfromOlivertoMr。Limbkins；whoattemptedtotakesnuffwithacheerfulandunconcernedaspect。

'Myboy！'saidtheoldgentleman，'youlookpaleandalarmed。

Whatisthematter?'

'Standalittleawayfromhim，Beadle，'saidtheothermagistrate:layingasidethepaper，andleaningforwardwithanexpressionofinterest。'Now，boy，telluswhat'sthematter:

don'tbeafraid。'

Oliverfellonhisknees，andclaspinghishandstogether，prayedthattheywouldorderhimbacktothedarkroom——thattheywouldstarvehim——beathim——killhimiftheypleased——ratherthansendhimawaywiththatdreadfulman。

'Well！'saidMr。Bumble，raisinghishandsandeyeswithmostimpressivesolemnite。'Well！ofalltheartfulanddesigningorphansthateverIsee，Oliver，youareoneofthemostbare-facedest。'

'Holdyourtongue，Beadle，'saidthesecondoldgentleman，whenMr。Bumblehadgivenventtothiscompoundadjective。

'Ibegyourworship'spardon，'saidMr。Bumble，incredulousofhavingheardaright。'Didyourworshipspeaktome?'

'Yes。Holdyourtongue。'

Mr。Bumblewasstupefiedwithastonishment。Abeadleorderedtoholdhistongue！Amoralrevolution！

Theoldgentlemaninthetortoise-shellspectacleslookedathiscompanion，henoddedsignificantly。

'Werefusetosanctiontheseindentures，'saidtheoldgentleman:

tossingasidethepieceofparchmentashespoke。

'Ihope，'stammeredMr。Limbkins:'Ihopethemagistrateswillnotformtheopinionthattheauthoritieshavebeenguiltyofanyimproperconduct，ontheunsupportedtestimonyofachild。'

'Themagistratesarenotcalledupontopronounceanyopiniononthematter，'saidthesecondoldgentlemansharply。'Taketheboybacktotheworkhouse，andtreathimkindly。Heseemstowantit。'

Thatsameevening，thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatmostpositivelyanddecidedlyaffirmed，notonlythatOliverwouldbehung，butthathewouldbedrawnandquarteredintothebargain。

Mr。Bumbleshookhisheadwithgloomymystery，andsaidhewishedhemightcometogood；whereuntoMr。Gamfieldreplied，thathewishedhemightcometohim；which，althoughheagreedwiththebeadleinmostmatters，wouldseemtobeawishofatotalyoppositedescription。

Thenextmorning，thepublicwereonceinformedthatOliverTwistwasagainToLet，andthatfivepoundswouldbepaidtoanybodywhowouldtakepossessionofhim。

CHAPTERIV

OLIVER，BEINGOFFEREDANOTHERPLACE，MAKESHISFIRSTENTRYINTO

PUBLICLIFE

Ingreatfamilies，whenanadvantageousplacecannotbeobtained，eitherinpossession，reversion，remainder，orexpectancy，fortheyoungmanwhoisgrowingup，itisaverygeneralcustomtosendhimtosea。Theboard，inimitationofsowiseandsalutaryanexample，tookcounseltogetherontheexpediencyofshippingoffOliverTwist，insomesmalltradingvesselboundtoagoodunhealthyport。Thissuggesteditselfastheverybestthingthatcouldpossiblybedonewithhim:theprobabilitybeing，thattheskipperwouldfloghimtodeath，inaplayfulmood，somedayafterdinner，orwouldknockhisbrainsoutwithanironbar；

bothpastimesbeing，asisprettygenerallyknown，veryfavouriteandcommonrecreationsamonggentlemanofthatclass。Themorethecasepresenteditselftotheboard，inthispointofview，themoremanifoldtheadvantagesofthestepappeared；so，theycametotheconclusionthattheonlywayofprovidingforOlivereffectually，wastosendhimtoseawithoutdelay。

Mr。Bumblehadbeendespatchedtomakevariouspreliminaryinquiries，withtheviewoffindingoutsomecaptainorotherwhowantedacabin-boywithoutanyfriends；andwasreturningtotheworkhousetocommunicatetheresultofhismission；whenheencounteredatthegate，nolessapersonthanMr。Sowerberry，theparochialundertaker。

Mr。Sowerberrywasatallgaunt，large-jointedman，attiredinasuitofthreadbareblack，withdarnedcottonstockingsofthesamecolour，andshoestoanswer。Hisfeatureswerenotnaturallyintendedtowearasmilingaspect，buthewasingeneralrathergiventoprofessionaljocosity。Hisstepwaselastic，andhisfacebetokenedinwardpleasantry，asheadvancedtoMr。Bumble，andshookhimcordiallybythehand。

'Ihavetakenthemeasureofthetwowomenthatdiedlastnight，Mr。Bumble，'saidtheundertaker。

'You'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，'saidthebeadle，ashethrusthisthumbandforefingerintotheproferredsnuff-boxoftheundertaker:whichwasaningeniouslittlemodelofapatentcoffin。'Isayyou'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，'

repeatedMr。Bumble，tappingtheundertakerontheshoulder，inafriendlymanner，withhiscane。

'Thinkso?'saidtheundertakerinatonewhichhalfadmittedandhalfdisputedtheprobabilityoftheevent。'Thepricesallowedbytheboardareverysmall，Mr。Bumble。'

'Soarethecoffins，'repliedthebeadle:withpreciselyasnearanapproachtoalaughasagreatofficialoughttoindulgein。

Mr。Sowerberrywasmuchtickledatthis:asofcourseheoughttobe；andlaughedalongtimewithoutcessation。'Well，well，Mr。Bumble，'hesaidatlength，'there'snodenyingthat，sincethenewsystemoffeedinghascomein，thecoffinsaresomethingnarrowerandmoreshallowthantheyusedtobe；butwemusthavesomeprofit，Mr。Bumble。Well-seasonedtimberisanexpensivearticle，sir；andalltheironhandlescome，bycanal，fromBirmingham。'

'Well，well，'saidMr。Bumble，'everytradehasitsdrawbacks。A

fairprofitis，ofcourse，allowable。'

'Ofcourse，ofcourse，'repliedtheundertaker；'andifIdon'tgetaprofituponthisorthatparticulararticle，why，Imakeitupinthelong-run，yousee——he！he！he！'

'Justso，'saidMr。Bumble。

'ThoughImustsay，'continuedtheundertaker，resumingthecurrentofobservationswhichthebeadlehadinterrupted:'thoughImustsay，Mr。Bumble，thatIhavetocontendagainstoneverygreatdisadvantage:whichis，thatallthestoutpeoplegooffthequickest。Thepeoplewhohavebeenbetteroff，andhavepaidratesformanyyears，arethefirsttosinkwhentheycomeintothehouse；andletmetellyou，Mr。Bumble，thatthreeorfourinchesoverone'scalculationmakesagreatholeinone'sprofits:especiallywhenonehasafamilytoprovidefor，sir。'

AsMr。Sowerberrysaidthis，withthebecomingindignationofanill-usedman；andasMr。Bumblefeltthatitrathertendedtoconveyareflectiononthehonouroftheparish；thelattergentlemanthoughtitadvisabletochangethesubject。OliverTwistbeinguppermostinhismind，hemadehimhistheme。

'Bythebye，'saidMr。Bumble，'youdon'tknowanybodywhowantsaboy，doyou?Aporochial'prentis，whoisatpresentadead-weight；amillstone，asImaysay，roundtheporochialthroat?Liberalterms，Mr。Sowerberry，liberalterms?'AsMr。

Bumblespoke，heraisedhiscanetothebillabovehim，andgavethreedistinctrapsuponthewords'fivepounds':whichwereprintedthereoninRomancapitalsofgiganticsize。

'Gadso！'saidtheundertaker:takingMr。Bumblebythegilt-edgedlappelofhisofficialcoat；'that'sjusttheverythingIwantedtospeaktoyouabout。Youknow——dearme，whataveryelegantbuttonthisis，Mr。Bumble！Inevernoticeditbefore。'

'Yes，Ithinkitratherpretty，'saidthebeadle，glancingproudlydownwardsatthelargebrassbuttonswhichembellishedhiscoat。'Thedieisthesameastheporochialseal——theGoodSamaritanhealingthesickandbruisedman。TheboardpresentedittomeonNewyear'smorning，Mr。Sowerberry。Iputiton，I

remember，forthefirsttime，toattendtheinquestonthatreducedtradesman，whodiedinadoorwayatmidnight。'

'Irecollect，'saidtheundertaker。'Thejurybroughtitin，“Diedfromexposuretothecold，andwantofthecommonnecessariesoflife，“didn'tthey?'

Mr。Bumblenodded。

'Andtheymadeitaspecialverdict，Ithink，'saidtheundertaker，'byaddingsomewordstotheeffect，thatiftherelievingofficerhad——'

'Tush！Foolery！'interposedthebeadle。'Iftheboardattendedtoallthenonsensethatignorantjurymentalk，they'dhaveenoughtodo。'

'Verytrue，'saidtheundertaker；'theywouldindeed。'

'Juries，'saidMr。Bumble，graspinghiscanetightly，aswashiswontwhenworkingintoapassion:'juriesisineddicated，vulgar，grovellingwretches。'

'Sotheyare，'saidtheundertaker。

'Theyhaven'tnomorephilosophynorpoliticaleconomyabout'emthanthat，'saidthebeadle，snappinghisfingerscontemptuously。

'Nomoretheyhave，'acquiescedtheundertaker。

'Idespise'em，'saidthebeadle，growingveryredintheface。

'SodoI，'rejoinedtheundertaker。

'AndIonlywishwe'dajuryoftheindependentsort，inthehouseforaweekortwo，'saidthebeadle；'therulesandregulationsoftheboardwouldsoonbringtheirspiritdownfor'em。'

'Let'emaloneforthat，'repliedtheundertaker。Sosaying，hesmiled，approvingly:tocalmtherisingwrathoftheindignantparishofficer。

MrBumbleliftedoffhiscockedhat；tookahandkerchieffromtheinsideofthecrown；wipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhisragehadengendered；fixedthecockedhatonagain；

and，turningtotheundertaker，saidinacalmervoice:

'Well；whatabouttheboy?'

'Oh！'repliedtheundertaker；why，youknow，Mr。Bumble，Ipayagooddealtowardsthepoor'srates。'

'Hem！'saidMr。Bumble。'Well?'

'Well，'repliedtheundertaker，'IwasthinkingthatifIpaysomuchtowards'em，I'vearighttogetasmuchoutof'emasI

can，Mr。Bumble；andso——IthinkI'lltaketheboymyself。'

Mr。Bumblegraspedtheundertakerbythearm，andledhimintothebuilding。Mr。Sowerberrywasclosetedwiththeboardforfiveminutes；anditwasarrangedthatOlivershouldgotohimthatevening'uponliking'——aphrasewhichmeans，inthecaseofaparishapprentice，thatifthemasterfind，uponashorttrial，thathecangetenoughworkoutofaboywithoutputtingtoomuchfoodintohim，heshallhavehimforatermofyears，todowhathelikeswith。

WhenlittleOliverwastakenbefore'thegentlemen'thatevening；

andinformedthathewastogo，thatnight，asgeneralhouse-ladtoacoffin-maker's；andthatifhecomplainedofhissituation，orevercamebacktotheparishagain，hewouldbesenttosea，theretobedrowned，orknockedonthehead，asthecasemightbe，heevincedsolittleemotion，thattheybycommonconsentpronouncedhimahardenedyoungrascal，andoreredMr。Bumbletoremovehimforthwith。

Now，althoughitwasverynaturalthattheboard，ofallpeopleintheworld，shouldfeelinagreatstateofvirtuousastonishmentandhorroratthesmallesttokensofwantoffeelingonthepartofanybody，theywereratherout，inthisparticularinstance。Thesimplefactwas，thatOliver，insteadofpossessingtoolittlefeeling，possessedrathertoomuch；andwasinafairwayofbeingreduced，forlife，toastateofbrutalstupidityandsullennessbytheillusagehehadreceived。Heheardthenewsofhisdestination，inperfectsilence；and，havinghadhisluggageputintohishand——whichwasnotverydifficulttocarry，inasmuchasitwasallcomprisedwithinthelimitsofabrownpaperparcel，abouthalfafootsquarebythreeinchesdeep——hepulledhiscapoverhiseyes；andoncemoreattachinghimselftoMr。Bumble'scoatcuff，wasledawaybythatdignitarytoanewsceneofsuffering。

Forsometime，Mr。BumbledrewOliveralong，withoutnoticeorremark；forthebeadlecarriedhisheadveryerect，asabeadlealwaysshould:and，itbeingawindyday，littleOliverwascompletelyenshroudedbytheskirtsofMr。Bumble'scoatastheyblewopen，anddisclosedtogreatadvantagehisflappedwaistcoatanddrabplushknee-breeches。Astheydrewneartotheirdestination，however，Mr。Bumblethoughtitexpedienttolookdown，andseethattheboywasingoodorderforinspectionbyhisnewmaster:whichheaccordinglydid，withafitandbecomingairofgraciouspatronage。

'Oliver！'saidMr。Bumble。

'Yes，sir，'repliedOliver，inalow，tremulousvoice。

'Pullthatcapoffyoureyes，andholdupyourhead，sir。'

AlthoughOliverdidashewasdesired，atonce；andpassedthebackofhisunoccupiedhandbrisklyacrosshiseyes，heleftatearinthemwhenhelookedupathisconductor。AsMr。Bumblegazedsternlyuponhim，itrolleddownhischeek。Itwasfollowedbyanother，andanother。Thechildmadeastrongeffort，butitwasanunsuccessfulone。WithdrawinghisotherhandfromMr。

Bumble'shecoveredhisfacewithboth；andweptuntilthetearssprungoutfrombetweenhischinandbonyfingers。

'Well！'exclaimedMr。Bumble，stoppingshort，anddartingathislittlechargealookofintensemalignity。'Well！OfALLtheungratefullest，andworst-disposedboysaseverIsee，Oliver，youarethe——'

'No，no，sir，'sobbedOliver，clingingtothehandwhichheldthewell-knowncane；'no，no，sir；Iwillbegoodindeed；indeed，indeedIwill，sir！Iamaverylittleboy，sir；anditisso——so——'

'Sowhat?'inquiredMr。Bumbleinamazement。

'Solonely，sir！Soverylonely！'criedthechild。'Everybodyhatesme。Oh！sir，don't，don'tpraybecrosstome！'Thechildbeathishanduponhisheart；andlookedinhiscompanion'sface，withtearsofrealagony。

Mr。BumbleregardedOliver'spiteousandhelplesslook，withsomeastonishment，forafewseconds；hemmedthreeorfourtimesinahuskymanner；andaftermutteringsomethingabout'thattroublesomecough，'badeOliverdryhiseyesandbeagoodboy。

Thenoncemoretakinghishand，hewalkedonwithhiminsilence。

Theundertaker，whohadjustputuptheshuttersofhisshop，wasmakingsomeentriesinhisday-bookbythelightofamostappropriatedismalcandle，whenMr。Bumbleentered。

'Aha！'saidtheundertaker；lookingupfromthebook，andpausinginthemiddleofaword；'isthatyou，Bumble?'

'Nooneelse，Mr。Sowerberry，'repliedthebeadle。'Here！I'vebroughttheboy。'Olivermadeabow。

'Oh！that'stheboy，isit?'saidtheundertaker:raisingthecandleabovehishead，togetabetterviewofOliver。'Mrs。

Sowerberry，willyouhavethegoodnesstocomehereamoment，mydear?'

Mrs。Sowerberryemergedfromalittleroombehindtheshop，andpresentedtheformofashort，then，squeezed-upwoman，withavixenishcountenance。

'Mydear，'saidMr。Sowerberry，deferentially，'thisistheboyfromtheworkhousethatItoldyouof。'Oliverbowedagain。

'Dearme！'saidtheundertaker'swife，'he'sverysmall。'

'Why，heISrathersmall，'repliedMr。Bumble:lookingatOliverasifitwerehisfaultthathewasnobigger；'heissmall。

There'snodenyingit。Buthe'llgrow，Mrs。Sowerberry——he'llgrow。'

'Ah！Idaresayhewill，'repliedtheladypettishly，'onourvictualsandourdrink。Iseenosavinginparishchildren，notI；fortheyalwayscostmoretokeep，thanthey'reworth。

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