Somewantresolutelytolearn,thoughtheyhavecometoman'sestate。Somewanttheirchildrentobebetterinstructedthantheythemselveshavebeen。
Atanyrate,thereisanopening,asIhavesaid,foraprivatetutor。
Mr。BellhasrecommendedmetoaMr。Thornton,atenantofhis,andaveryintelligentman,asfarasIcanjudgefromhisletters。AndinMilton,Margaret,Ishallfindabusylife,ifnotahappyone,andpeopleandscenessodifferentthatIshallneverberemindedofHelstone。'Therewasthesecretmotive,asMargaretknewfromherownfeelings。Itwouldbedifferent。Discordantasitwas——withalmostadetestationforallshehadeverheardoftheNorthofEngland,themanufacturers,thepeople,thewildandbleakcountry——therewasthisonerecommendation——itwouldbedifferentfromHelstone,andcouldneverremindthemofthatbelovedplace。'Whendowego?'askedMargaret,afterashortsilence。'Idonotknowexactly。Iwantedtotalkitoverwithyou。Yousee,yourmotherknowsnothingaboutityet:butIthink,inafortnight;——aftermydeedofresignationissentin,Ishallhavenorighttoremain。Margaretwasalmoststunned。'Inafortnight!''No——no,notexactlytoaday。Nothingisfixed,'saidherfather,withanxioushesitation,ashenoticedthefilmysorrowthatcameoverhereyes,andthesuddenchangeinhercomplexion。Butsherecoveredherselfimmediately。'Yes,papa,ithadbetterbefixedsoonanddecidedly,asyousay。Onlymammatoknownothingaboutit!Itisthatthatisthegreatperplexity。''PoorMaria!'repliedMr。Hale,tenderly。'Poor,poorMaria!Oh,ifIwerenotmarried——ifIwerebutmyselfintheworld,howeasyitwouldbe!Asitis——Margaret,Idarenottellher!''No,'saidMargaret,sadly,'Iwilldoit。Givemetillto-morroweveningtochoosemytimeOh,papa,'criedshe,withsuddenpassionateentreaty,'say——tellmeitisanight-mare——ahorriddream——nottherealwakingtruth!
YoucannotmeanthatyouarereallygoingtoleavetheChurch——togiveupHelstone——tobeforeverseparatefromme,frommamma——ledawaybysomedelusion——sometemptation!Youdonotreallymeanit!'Mr。Halesatinrigidstillnesswhileshespoke。Thenhelookedherintheface,andsaidinaslow,hoarse,measuredway——'I
domeanit,Margaret。Youmustnotdeceiveyourselfintodoubtingtherealityofmywords——myfixedintentionandresolve。'Helookedatherinthesamesteady,stonymanner,forsomemomentsafterhehaddonespeaking。She,too,gazedbackwithpleadingeyesbeforeshewouldbelievethatitwasirrevocable。Thenshearoseandwent,withoutanotherwordorlook,towardsthedoor。Asherfingerswereonthehandlehecalledherback。Hewasstandingbythefireplace,shrunkandstooping;butasshecamenearhedrewhimselfuptohisfullheight,and,placinghishandsonherhead,hesaid,solemnly:'TheblessingofGodbeuponthee,mychild!''AndmayHerestoreyoutoHisChurch,'respondedshe,outofthefulnessofherheart。Thenextmomentshefearedlestthisanswertohisblessingmightbeirreverent,wrong——mighthurthimascomingfromhisdaughter,andshethrewherarmsroundhisneck。Heheldhertohimforaminuteortwo。Sheheardhimmurmurtohimself,'Themartyrsandconfessorshadevenmorepaintobear——Iwillnotshrink。'TheywerestartledbyhearingMrs。Haleinquiringforherdaughter。Theystartedasunderinthefullconsciousnessofallthatwasbeforethem。
Mr。Halehurriedlysaid——'Go,Margaret,go。Ishallbeoutallto-morrow。
Beforenightyouwillhavetoldyourmother。''Yes,'shereplied,andshereturnedtothedrawing-roominastunnedanddizzystate。
chapter05CHAPTERVDECISION'IaskTheeforathoughtfullove,Throughconstantwatchingwise,Tomeetthegladwithjoyfulsmiles,Andtowipetheweepingeyes;AndaheartatleisurefromitselfTosootheandsympathise。'ANON。Margaretmadeagoodlistenertoallhermother'slittleplansforaddingsomesmallcomfortstothelotofthepoorerparishioners。Shecouldnothelplistening,thougheachnewprojectwasastabtoherheart。Bythetimethefrosthadsetin,theyshouldbefarawayfromHelstone。OldSimon'srheumatismmightbebadandhiseyesightworse;therewouldbenoonetogoandreadtohim,andcomforthimwithlittleporringersofbrothandgoodredflannel:oriftherewas,itwouldbeastranger,andtheoldmanwouldwatchinvainforher。MaryDomville'slittlecrippledboywouldcrawlinvaintothedoorandlookforhercomingthroughtheforest。Thesepoorfriendswouldneverunderstandwhyshehadforsakenthem;andthereweremanyothersbesides。'Papahasalwaysspenttheincomehederivedfromhislivingintheparish。Iam,perhaps,encroachinguponthenextdues,butthewinterislikelytobesevere,andourpooroldpeoplemustbehelped。''Oh,mamma,letusdoallwecan,'saidMargareteagerly,notseeingtheprudentialsideofthequestion,onlygraspingattheideathattheywererenderingsuchhelpforthelasttime;'wemaynotbeherelong。''Doyoufeelill,mydarling?'askedMrs。Hale,anxiously,misunderstandingMargaret'shintoftheuncertaintyoftheirstayatHelstone。'Youlookpaleandtired。Itisthissoft,damp,unhealthyair。''No——no,mamma,itisnotthat:itisdeliciousair。Itsmellsofthefreshest,purestfragrance,afterthesmokinessofHarleyStreet。ButIamtired:
itsurelymustbenearbedtime。''Notfaroff——itishalf-pastnine。Youhadbettergotobedatdear。AskDixonforsomegruel。Iwillcomeandseeyouassoonasyouareinbed。
Iamafraidyouhavetakencold;orthebadairfromsomeofthestagnantponds——''Oh,mamma,'saidMargaret,faintlysmilingasshekissedhermother,'I
amquitewell——don'talarmyourselfaboutme;Iamonlytired。'Margaretwentupstairs。Tosoothehermother'sanxietyshesubmittedtoabasinofgruel。ShewaslyinglanguidlyinbedwhenMrs。Halecameuptomakesomelastinquiriesandkissherbeforegoingtoherownroomforthenight。Buttheinstantsheheardhermother'sdoorlocked,shesprangoutofbed,andthrowingherdressing-gownon,shebegantopaceupanddowntheroom,untilthecreakingofoneoftheboardsremindedherthatshemustmakenonoise。Shewentandcurledherselfuponthewindow-seatinthesmall,deeply-recessedwindow。Thatmorningwhenshehadlookedout,herhearthaddancedatseeingthebrightclearlightsonthechurchtower,whichforetoldafineandsunnyday。Thisevening——sixteenhoursatmosthadpastby——shesatdown,toofullofsorrowtocry,butwithadullcoldpain,whichseemedtohavepressedtheyouthandbuoyancyoutofherheart,nevertoreturn。Mr。HenryLennox'svisit——hisoffer——waslikeadream,athingbesideheractuallife。Thehardrealitywas,thatherfatherhadsoadmittedtemptingdoubtsintohismindastobecomeaschismatic——anoutcast;allthechangesconsequentuponthisgroupedthemselvesaroundthatonegreatblightingfact。Shelookedoutuponthedark-graylinesofthechurchtower,squareandstraightinthecentreoftheview,cuttingagainstthedeepbluetransparentdepthsbeyond,intowhichshegazed,andfeltthatshemightgazeforever,seeingateverymomentsomefartherdistance,andyetnosignofGod!Itseemedtoheratthemoment,asiftheearthwasmoreutterlydesolatethanifgirtinbyanirondome,behindwhichtheremightbetheineffaceablepeaceandgloryoftheAlmighty:thosenever-endingdepthsofspace,intheirstillserenity,weremoremockingtoherthananymaterialboundscouldbe——shuttinginthecriesofearth'ssufferers,whichnowmightascendintothatinfinitesplendourofvastnessandbelost——lostforever,beforetheyreachedHisthrone。Inthismoodherfathercameinunheard。Themoonlightwasstrongenoughtolethimseehisdaughterinherunusualplaceandattitude。Hecametoherandtouchedhershoulderbeforeshewasawarethathewasthere。'Margaret,Iheardyouwereup。Icouldnothelpcomingintoaskyoutopraywithme——tosaytheLord'sPrayer;thatwilldogoodtobothofus。'Mr。HaleandMargaretkneltbythewindow-seat——helookingup,sheboweddowninhumbleshame。Godwasthere,closearoundthem,hearingherfather'swhisperedwords。Herfathermightbeaheretic;buthadnotshe,inherdespairingdoubtsnotfiveminutesbefore,shownherselfafarmoreuttersceptic?Shespokenotaword,butstoletobedafterherfatherhadlefther,likeachildashamedofitsfault。Iftheworldwasfullofperplexingproblemsshewouldtrust,andonlyasktoseetheonestepneedfulforthehour。Mr。Lennox——hisvisit,hisproposal——theremembranceofwhichhadbeensorudelypushedasidebythesubsequenteventsoftheday——hauntedherdreamsthatnight。Hewasclimbingupsometreeoffabulousheighttoreachthebranchwhereonwasslungherbonnet:hewasfalling,andshewasstrugglingtosavehim,butheldbackbysomeinvisiblepowerfulhand。
Hewasdead。Andyet,withashiftingofthescene,shewasoncemoreintheHarleyStreetdrawing-room,talkingtohimasofold,andstillwithaconsciousnessallthetimethatshehadseenhimkilledbythatterriblefall。Miserable,unrestingnight!Illpreparationforthecomingday!Sheawokewithastart,unrefreshed,andconsciousofsomerealityworseeventhanherfeverishdreams。Itallcamebackuponher;notmerelythesorrow,buttheterriblediscordinthesorrow。Where,towhatdistanceapart,hadherfatherwandered,ledbydoubtswhichweretohertemptationsoftheEvilOne?Shelongedtoask,andyetwouldnothaveheardforalltheworld。ThefineCrispmorningmadehermotherfeelparticularlywellandhappyatbreakfast-time。Shetalkedon,planningvillagekindnesses,unheedingthesilenceofherhusbandandthemonosyllabicanswersofMargaret。Beforethethingswereclearedaway,Mr。Halegotup;heleanedonehandonthetable,asiftosupporthimself:'Ishallnotbeathometillevening。IamgoingtoBracyCommon,andwillaskFarmerDobsontogivemesomethingfordinner。Ishallbebacktoteaatseven。'Hedidnotlookateitherofthem,butMargaretknewwhathemeant。Byseventheannouncementmustbemadetohermother。Mr。Halewouldhavedelayedmakingittillhalf-pastsix,butMargaretwasofdifferentstuff。
Shecouldnotbeartheimpendingweightonhermindallthedaylong:bettergettheworstover;thedaywouldbetooshorttocomforthermother。Butwhileshestoodbythewindow,thinkinghowtobegin,andwaitingfortheservanttohavelefttheroom,hermotherhadgoneup-stairstoputonherthingstogototheschool。Shecamedownreadyequipped,inabriskermoodthanusual。'Mother,comeroundthegardenwithmethismorning;justoneturn,'saidMargaret,puttingherarmroundMrs。Hale'swaist。Theypassedthroughtheopenwindow。Mrs。Halespoke——saidsomething——Margaretcouldnottellwhat。Hereyecaughtonabeeenteringadeep-belledflower:
whenthatbeeflewforthwithhisspoilshewouldbegin——thatshouldbethesign。Outhecame。'Mamma!PapaisgoingtoleaveHelstone!'sheblurtedforth。'He'sgoingtoleavetheChurch,andliveinMilton-Northern。'Therewerethethreehardfactshardlyspoken。'Whatmakesyousayso?'askedMrs。Hale,inasurprisedincredulousvoice。
'Whohasbeentellingyousuchnonsense?''Papahimself,'saidMargaret,longingtosaysomethinggentleandconsoling,butliterallynotknowinghow。Theywereclosetoagarden-bench。Mrs。
Halesatdown,andbegantocry。'Idon'tunderstandyou,'shesaid。'Eitheryouhavemadesomegreatmistake,orIdon'tquiteunderstandyou。''No,mother,Ihavemadenomistake。Papahaswrittentothebishop,sayingthathehassuchdoubtsthathecannotconscientiouslyremainapriestoftheChurchofEngland,andthathemustgiveupHelstone。HehasalsoconsultedMr。Bell——Frederick'sgodfather,youknow,mamma;anditisarrangedthatwegotoliveinMilton-Northern。'Mrs。HalelookedupinMargaret'sfaceallthetimeshewasspeakingthesewords:theshadowonhercountenancetoldthatshe,atleast,believedinthetruthofwhatshesaid。'Idon'tthinkitcanbetrue,'saidMrs。Hale,atlength。'Hewouldsurelyhavetoldmebeforeitcametothis。'ItcamestronglyuponMargaret'smindthathermotheroughttohavebeentold:thatwhateverherfaultsofdiscontentandrepiningmighthavebeen,itwasanerrorinherfathertohavelefthertolearnhischangeofopinion,andhisapproachingchangeoflife,fromherbetter-informedchild。Margaretsatdownbyhermother,andtookherunresistingheadonherbreast,bendingherownsoftcheeksdowncaressinglytotouchherface。'Dear,darlingmamma!weweresoafraidofgivingyoupain。Papafeltsoacutely——youknowyouarenotstrong,andtheremusthavebeensuchterriblesuspensetogothrough。''Whendidhetellyou,Margaret?''Yesterday,onlyyesterday,'repliedMargaret,detectingthejealousywhichpromptedtheinquiry。'Poorpapa!'——tryingtodiverthermother'sthoughtsintocompassionatesympathyforallherfatherhadgonethrough。Mrs。Haleraisedherhead。'Whatdoeshemeanbyhavingdoubts?'sheasked。'Surely,hedoesnotmeanthathethinksdifferently——thatheknowsbetterthantheChurch。'Margaretshookherhead,andthetearscameintohereyes,ashermothertouchedthebarenerveofherownregret。'Can'tthebishopsethimright?'askedMrs。Hale,halfimpatiently。'I'mafraidnot,'saidMargaret。'ButIdidnotask。Icouldnotbeartohearwhathemightanswer。Itisallsettledatanyrate。HeisgoingtoleaveHelstoneinafortnight。Iamnotsureifhedidnotsayhehadsentinhisdeedofresignation。''Inafortnight!'exclaimedMrs。Hale,'Idothinkthisisverystrange——notatallright。Icallitveryunfeeling,'saidshe,beginningtotakereliefintears。'Hehasdoubts,yousay,andgivesuphisliving,andallwithoutconsultingme。Idaresay,ifhehadtoldmehisdoubtsatthefirstI
couldhavenippedtheminthebud。'MistakenasMargaretfeltherfather'sconducttohavebeen,shecouldnotbeartohearitblamedbyhermother。Sheknewthathisveryreservehadoriginatedinatendernessforher,whichmightbecowardly,butwasnotunfeeling。'IalmosthopedyoumighthavebeengladtoleaveHelstone,mamma,'saidshe,afterapause。'Youhaveneverbeenwellinthisair,youknow。''Youcan'tthinkthesmokyairofamanufacturingtown,allchimneysanddirtlikeMilton-Northern,wouldbebetterthanthisair,whichispureandsweet,ifitistoosoftandrelaxing。Fancylivinginthemiddleoffactories,andfactorypeople!Though,ofcourse,ifyourfatherleavestheChurch,weshallnotbeadmittedintosocietyanywhere。Itwillbesuchadisgracetous!PoordearSirJohn!Itiswellheisnotalivetoseewhatyourfatherhascometo!Everydayafterdinner,whenIwasagirl,livingwithyourauntShaw,atBeresfordCourt,SirJohnusedtogiveforthefirsttoast——“ChurchandKing,anddownwiththeRump。”'Margaretwasgladthathermother'sthoughtswereturnedawayfromthefactofherhusband'ssilencetoheronthepointwhichmusthavebeensonearhisheart。Nexttotheseriousvitalanxietyastothenatureofherfather'sdoubts,thiswastheonecircumstanceofthecasethatgaveMargaretthemostpain。'Youknow,wehaveverylittlesocietyhere,mamma。TheGormans,whoareournearestneighbours(tocallsociety——andwehardlyeverseethem),havebeenintradejustasmuchastheseMilton-Northernpeople。''Yes,'saidMrs。Hale,almostindignantly,'but,atanyrate,theGormansmadecarriagesforhalfthegentryofthecounty,andwerebroughtintosomekindofintercoursewiththem;butthesefactorypeople,whoonearthwearscottonthatcanaffordlinen?''Well,mamma,Igiveupthecotton-spinners;Iamnotstandingupforthem,anymorethanforanyothertrades-people。Onlyweshallhavelittleenoughtodowiththem。''WhyonearthhasyourfatherfixedonMilton-Northerntolivein?''Partly,'saidMargaret,sighing,'becauseitissoverydifferentfromHelstone——partlybecauseMr。Bellsaysthereisanopeningthereforaprivatetutor。''PrivatetutorinMilton!Whycan'thegotoOxford,andbeatutortogentlemen?''Youforget,mamma!HeisleavingtheChurchonaccountofhisopinions——hisdoubtswoulddohimnogoodatOxford。'Mrs。Halewassilentforsometime,quietlycrying。Atlastshesaid:——'Andthefurniture——Howintheworldarewetomanagetheremoval?Ineverremovedinmylife,andonlyafortnighttothinkaboutit!'Margaretwasinexpressiblyrelievedtofindthathermother'sanxietyanddistresswasloweredtothispoint,soinsignificanttoherself,andonwhichshecoulddosomuchtohelp。Sheplannedandpromised,andledhermotherontoarrangefullyasmuchascouldbefixedbeforetheyknewsomewhatmoredefinitivelywhatMr。Haleintendedtodo。ThroughoutthedayMargaretneverlefthermother;bendingherwholesoultosympathiseinallthevariousturnsherfeelingstook;towardseveningespecially,asshebecamemoreandmoreanxiousthatherfathershouldfindasoothingwelcomehomeawaitinghim,afterhisreturnfromhisdayoffatigueanddistress。Shedweltuponwhathemusthaveborneinsecretforlong;hermotheronlyrepliedcoldlythatheoughttohavetoldher,andthatthenatanyratehewouldhavehadanadvisertogivehimcounsel;andMargaretturnedfaintatheartwhensheheardherfather'sstepinthehall。Shedarednotgotomeethim,andtellhimwhatshehaddoneallday,forfearofhermother'sjealousannoyance。Sheheardhimlinger,asifawaitingher,orsomesignofher;andshedarednotstir;shesawbyhermother'stwitchinglips,andchangingcolour,thatshetoowasawarethatherhusbandhadreturned。
Presentlyheopenedtheroom-door,andstoodthereuncertainwhethertocomein。Hisfacewasgrayandpale;hehadatimid,fearfullookinhiseyes;somethingalmostpitifultoseeinaman'sface;butthatlookofdespondentuncertainty,ofmentalandbodilylanguor,touchedhiswife'sheart。Shewenttohim,andthrewherselfonhisbreast,cryingout——'Oh!Richard,Richard,youshouldhavetoldmesooner!'Andthen,intears,Margaretlefther,assherushedup-stairstothrowherselfonherbed,andhideherfaceinthepillowstostiflethehystericsobsthatwouldforcetheirwayatlast,aftertherigidself-controlofthewholeday。Howlongshelaythusshecouldnottell。Sheheardnonoise,thoughthehousemaidcameintoarrangetheroom。Theaffrightedgirlstoleoutagainontip-toe,andwentandtoldMrs。DixonthatMissHalewascryingasifherheartwouldbreak:shewassureshewouldmakeherselfdeadlyillifshewentonatthatrate。Inconsequenceofthis,Margaretfeltherselftouched,andstartedupintoasittingposture;shesawtheaccustomedroom,thefigureofDixoninshadow,asthelatterstoodholdingthecandlealittlebehindher,forfearoftheeffectonMissHale'sstartledeyes,swollenandblindedastheywere。'Oh,Dixon!Ididnothearyoucomeintotheroom!'saidMargaret,resuminghertremblingself-restraint。'Isitverylate?'continuedshe,liftingherselflanguidlyoffthebed,yetlettingherfeettouchthegroundwithoutfairlystandingdown,assheshadedherwetruffledhairoffherface,andtriedtolookasthoughnothingwerethematter;asifshehadonlybeenasleep。'Ihardlycantellwhattimeitis,'repliedDixon,inanaggrievedtoneofvoice。'Sinceyourmammatoldmethisterriblenews,whenIdressedherfortea,I'velostallcountoftime。I'msureIdon'tknowwhatistobecomeofusall。WhenCharlottetoldmejustnowyouweresobbing,MissHale,Ithought,nowonder,poorthing!AndmasterthinkingofturningDissenterathistimeoflife,when,ifitisnottobesaidhe'sdonewellintheChurch,he'snotdonebadlyafterall。Ihadacousin,miss,whoturnedMethodistpreacherafterhewasfiftyyearsofage,andatailorallhislife;butthenhehadneverbeenabletomakeapairoftrouserstofit,foraslongashehadbeeninthetrade,soitwasnowonder;butformaster!asIsaidtomissus,“WhatwouldpoorSirJohnhavesaid?heneverlikedyourmarryingMr。Hale,butifhecouldhaveknownitwouldhavecometothis,hewouldhaveswornworseoathsthanever,ifthatwaspossible!“'DixonhadbeensomuchaccustomedtocommentuponMr。Hale'sproceedingstohermistress(wholistenedtoher,ornot,asshewasinthehumour),thatshenevernoticedMargaret'sflashingeyeanddilatingnostril。Tohearherfathertalkedofinthiswaybyaservanttoherface!'Dixon,'shesaid,inthelowtoneshealwaysusedwhenmuchexcited,whichhadasoundinitasofsomedistantturmoil,orthreateningstormbreakingfaraway。'Dixon!youforgettowhomyouarespeaking。'Shestooduprightandfirmonherfeetnow,confrontingthewaiting-maid,andfixingherwithhersteadydiscerningeye。'IamMr。Hale'sdaughter。Go!Youhavemadeastrangemistake,andonethatIamsureyourowngoodfeelingwillmakeyousorryforwhenyouthinkaboutit。'Dixonhungirresolutelyabouttheroomforaminuteortwo。Margaretrepeated,'Youmayleaveme,Dixon。Iwishyoutogo。'Dixondidnotknowwhethertoresentthesedecidedwordsortocry;eithercoursewouldhavedonewithhermistress:but,asshesaidtoherself,'MissMargarethasatouchoftheoldgentlemanabouther,aswellaspoorMasterFrederick;Iwonderwheretheygetitfrom?'andshe,whowouldhaveresentedsuchwordsfromanyonelesshaughtyanddeterminedinmanner,wassubduedenoughtosay,inahalfhumble,halfinjuredtone:'Mayn'tIunfastenyourgown,miss,anddoyourhair?''No!notto-night,thankyou。'AndMargaretgravelylightedheroutoftheroom,andboltedthedoor。FromhenceforthDixonobeyedandadmiredMargaret。ShesaiditwasbecauseshewassolikepoorMasterFrederick;
butthetruthwas,thatDixon,asdomanyothers,likedtofeelherselfruledbyapowerfulanddecidednature。MargaretneededallDixon'shelpinaction,andsilenceinwords;for,forsometime,thelatterthoughtitherdutytoshowhersenseofaffrontbysayingaslittleaspossibletoheryounglady;sotheenergycameoutindoingratherthaninspeakingAfortnightwasaveryshorttimetomakearrangementsforsoseriousaremoval;asDixonsaid,'Anyonebutagentleman——indeedalmostanyothergentleman——'butcatchingalookatMargaret'sstraight,sternbrowjusthere,shecoughedtheremainderofthesentenceaway,andmeeklytookthehorehounddropthatMargaretofferedher,tostopthe'littleticklingatmychest,miss。'ButalmostanyonebutMr。Halewouldhavehadpracticalknowledgeenoughtosee,thatinsoshortatimeitwouldbedifficulttofixonanyhouseinMilton-Northern,orindeedelsewhere,towhichtheycouldremovethefurniturethathadofnecessitytobetakenoutofHelstonevicarage。Mrs。Hale,overpoweredbyallthetroublesandnecessitiesforimmediatehouseholddecisionsthatseemedtocomeuponheratonce,becamereallyill,andMargaretalmostfeltitasareliefwhenhermotherfairlytooktoherbed,andleftthemanagementofaffairstoher。Dixon,truetoherpostofbody-guard,attendedmostfaithfullytohermistress,andonlyemergedfromMrs。Hale'sbed-roomtoshakeherhead,andmurmurtoherselfinamannerwhichMargaretdidnotchoosetohear。For,theonethingclearandstraightbeforeher,wasthenecessityforleavingHelstone。Mr。Hale'ssuccessorinthelivingwasappointed;and,atanyrate,afterherfather'sdecision;theremustbenolingeringnow,forhissake,aswellasfromeveryotherconsideration。Forhecamehomeeveryeveningmoreandmoredepressed,afterthenecessaryleave-takingwhichhehadresolvedtohavewitheveryindividualparishioner。Margaret,inexperiencedasshewasinallthenecessarymatter-of-factbusinesstobegotthrough,didnotknowtowhomtoapplyforadvice。ThecookandCharlotteworkedawaywithwillingarmsandstoutheartsatallthemovingandpacking;andasfarasthatwent,Margaret'sadmirablesenseenabledhertoseewhatwasbest,andtodirecthowitshouldbedone。Butwhereweretheytogoto?Inaweektheymustbegone。StraighttoMilton,orwhere?SomanyarrangementsdependedonthisdecisionthatMargaretresolvedtoaskherfatheroneevening,inspiteofhisevidentfatigueandlowspirits。Heanswered:'Mydear!Ihavereallyhadtoomuchtothinkabouttosettlethis。Whatdoesyourmothersay?Whatdoesshewish?PoorMaria!'Hemetwithanechoevenlouderthanhissigh。DixonhadjustcomeintotheroomforanothercupofteaforMrs。Hale,andcatchingMr。Hale'slastwords,andprotectedbyhispresencefromMargaret'supbraidingeyes,madeboldtosay,'Mypoormistress!''Youdon'tthinkherworseto-day,'saidMr。Hale,turninghastily。'I'msureIcan'tsay,sir。It'snotformetojudge。Theillnessseemssomuchmoreonthemindthanonthebody。'Mr。Halelookedinfinitelydistressed。'Youhadbettertakemammaherteawhileitishot,Dixon,'saidMargaret,inatoneofquietauthority。'Oh!Ibegyourpardon,miss!Mythoughtswasotherwiseoccupiedinthinkingofmypoor——ofMrs。Hale。''Papa!'saidMargaret,'itisthissuspensethatisbadforyouboth。Ofcourse,mammamustfeelyourchangeofopinions:wecan'thelpthat,'shecontinued,softly;'butnowthecourseisclear,atleasttoacertainpoint。AndIthink,papa,thatIcouldgetmammatohelpmeinplanning,ifyoucouldtellmewhattoplanfor。Shehasneverexpressedanywishinanyway,andonlythinksofwhatcan'tbehelped。ArewetogostraighttoMilton?Haveyoutakenahousethere?''No,'hereplied。'Isupposewemustgointolodgings,andlookaboutforahouse。'Andpackupthefurnituresothatitcanbeleftattherailwaystation,tillwehavemetwithone?''Isupposeso。Dowhatyouthinkbest。Onlyremember,weshallhavemuchlessmoneytospend。'Theyhadneverhadmuchsuperfluity,asMargaretknew。Shefeltthatitwasagreatweightsuddenlythrownuponhershoulders。Fourmonthsago,allthedecisionssheneededtomakewerewhatdressshewouldwearfordinner,andtohelpEdithtodrawoutthelistsofwhoshouldtakedownwhominthedinnerpartiesathome。Norwasthehouseholdinwhichshelivedonethatcalledformuchdecision。ExceptintheonegrandcaseofCaptainLennox'soffer,everythingwentonwiththeregularityofclockwork。
Onceayear,therewasalongdiscussionbetweenherauntandEdithastowhethertheyshouldgototheIsleofWight,abroad,ortoScotland;
butatsuchtimesMargaretherselfwassecureofdrifting,withoutanyexertionofherown,intothequietharbourofhome。Now,sincethatdaywhenMr。Lennoxcame,andstartledherintoadecision,everydaybroughtsomequestion,momentoustoher,andtothosewhomsheloved,tobesettled。Herfatherwentupafterteatositwithhiswife。Margaretremainedaloneinthedrawing-room。Suddenlyshetookacandleandwentintoherfather'sstudyforagreatatlas,andluggingitbackintothedrawing-room,shebegantoporeoverthemapofEngland。Shewasreadytolookupbrightlywhenherfathercamedownstairs。'Ihavehituponsuchabeautifulplan。Lookhere——inDarkshire,hardlythebreadthofmyfingerfromMilton,isHeston,whichIhaveoftenheardoffrompeoplelivinginthenorthassuchapleasantlittlebathing-place。
Now,don'tyouthinkwecouldgetmammatherewithDixon,whileyouandIgoandlookathouses,andgetoneallreadyforherinMilton?Shewouldgetabreathofseaairtosetherupforthewinter,andbesparedallthefatigue,andDixonwouldenjoytakingcareofher。''IsDixontogowithus?'askedMr。Hale,inakindofhelplessdismay。'Oh,yes!'saidMargaret。'Dixonquiteintendsit,andIdon'tknowwhatmammawoulddowithouther。''Butweshallhavetoputupwithaverydifferentwayofliving,Iamafraid。Everythingissomuchdearerinatown。IdoubtifDixoncanmakeherselfcomfortable。TotellyouthetruthMargaret,Isometimesfeelasifthatwomangaveherselfairs。''Tobesureshedoes,papa,'repliedMargaret;'andifshehastoputupwithadifferentstyleofliving,weshallhavetoputupwithherairs,whichwillbeworse。Butshereallylovesusall,andwouldbemiserabletoleaveus,Iamsure——especiallyinthischange;so,formamma'ssake,andforthesakeofherfaithfulness,Idothinkshemustgo。''Verywell,mydear。Goon。Iamresigned。HowfarisHestonfromMilton?
Thebreadthofoneofyourfingersdoesnotgivemeaveryclearideaofdistance。''Well,then,Isupposeitisthirtymiles;thatisnotmuch!''Notindistance,butin。Nevermind!Ifyoureallythinkitwilldoyourmothergood,letitbefixedso。'Thiswasagreatstep。NowMargaretcouldwork,andact,andplaningoodearnest。AndnowMrs。Halecouldrouseherselffromherlanguor,andforgetherrealsufferinginthinkingofthepleasureandthedelightofgoingtothesea-side。HeronlyregretwasthatMr。Halecouldnotbewithherallthefortnightshewastobethere,ashehadbeenforawholefortnightonce,whentheywereengaged,andshewasstayingwithSirJohnandLadyBeresfordatTorquay。
chapter06CHAPTERVIFAREWELL'Unwatch'dthegardenboughshallsway,Thetenderblossomflutterdown,Unlovedthatbeechwillgatherbrown,Themapleburnitselfaway;Unloved,thesun-flower,shiningfair,Rayroundwithflamesherdiskofseed,Andmanyarose-carnationfeedWithsummerspicethehummingair;******TillfromthegardenandthewildAfreshassociationblow,AndyearbyyearthelandscapegrowFamiliartothestranger'schildAsyearbyyearthelabourertillsHiswontedglebe,orlopstheglades;AndyearbyyearourmemoryfadesFromallthecircleofthehills。'TENNYSON。Thelastdaycame;thehousewasfullofpacking-cases,whichwerebeingcartedoffatthefrontdoor,tothenearestrailwaystation。Eventheprettylawnatthesideofthehousewasmadeunsightlyanduntidybythestrawthathadbeenwafteduponitthroughtheopendoorandwindows。Theroomshadastrangeechoingsoundinthem,——andthelightcameharshlyandstronglyinthroughtheuncurtainedwindows,——seemingalreadyunfamiliarandstrange。Mrs。Hale'sdressing-roomwasleftuntouchedtothelast;
andtheresheandDixonwerepackingupclothes,andinterruptingeachothereverynowandthentoexclaimat,andturnoverwithfondregard,someforgottentreasure,intheshapeofsomerelicofthechildrenwhiletheywereyetlittle。Theydidnotmakemuchprogresswiththeirwork。
Down-stairs,Margaretstoodcalmandcollected,readytocounseloradvisethemenwhohadbeencalledintohelpthecookandCharlotte。Thesetwolast,cryingbetweenwhiles,wonderedhowtheyoungladycouldkeepupsothislastday,andsettleditbetweenthemthatshewasnotlikelytocaremuchforHelstone,havingbeensolonginLondon。Thereshestood,verypaleandquiet,withherlargegraveeyesobservingeverything,——uptoeverypresentcircumstance,howeversmall。Theycouldnotunderstandhowherheartwasachingallthetime,withaheavypressurethatnosighscouldliftofforrelieve,andhowconstantexertionforherperceptivefacultieswastheonlywaytokeepherselffromcryingoutwithpain。Moreover,ifshegaveway,whowastoact?Herfatherwasexaminingpapers,books,registers,whatnot,inthevestrywiththeclerk;andwhenhecamein,therewerehisownbookstopackup,whichnoonebuthimselfcoulddotohissatisfaction。Besides,wasMargaretonetogivewaybeforestrangemen,orevenhouseholdfriendslikethecookandCharlotte!Notshe。Butatlastthefourpackerswentintothekitchentotheirtea;andMargaretmovedstifflyandslowlyawayfromtheplaceinthehallwhereshehadbeenstandingsolong,outthroughthebareechoingdrawing-room,intothetwilightofanearlyNovemberevening。Therewasafilmyveilofsoftdullmistobscuring,butnothiding,allobjects,givingthemalilachue,forthesunhadnotyetfullyset;arobinwassinging,——perhaps,Margaretthought,theveryrobinthatherfatherhadsooftentalkedofashiswinterpet,andforwhichhehadmade,withhisownhands,akindofrobin-housebyhisstudy-window。Theleavesweremoregorgeousthanever;thefirsttouchoffrostwouldlaythemalllowontheground。Alreadyoneortwokeptconstantlyfloatingdown,amberandgoldeninthelowslantingsun-rays。Margaretwentalongthewalkunderthepear-treewall。ShehadneverbeenalongitsinceshepaceditatHenryLennox'sside。Here,atthisbedofthyme,hebegantospeakofwhatshemustnotthinkofnow。Hereyeswereonthatlate-blowingroseasshewastryingtoanswer;andshehadcaughttheideaofthevividbeautyofthefeatheryleavesofthecarrotsintheverymiddleofhislastsentence。OnlyafortnightagoAndallsochanged!
Wherewashenow?InLondon,——goingthroughtheoldround;diningwiththeoldHarleyStreetset,orwithgayeryoungfriendsofhisown。Evennow,whileshewalkedsadlythroughthatdampanddreargardeninthedusk,witheverythingfallingandfading,andturningtodecayaroundher,hemightbegladlyputtingawayhislaw-booksafteradayofsatisfactorytoil,andfresheninghimselfup,ashehadtoldherheoftendid,byarunintheTempleGardens,takinginthewhilethegrandinarticulatemightyroaroftensofthousandsofbusymen,nighathand,butnotseen,andcatchingever,athisquickturns,glimpsesofthelightsofthecitycomingupoutofthedepthsoftheriver。HehadoftenspokentoMargaretofthesehastywalks,snatchedintheintervalsbetweenstudyanddinner。Athisbesttimesandinhisbestmoodshadhespokenofthem;andthethoughtofthemhadstruckuponherfancy。Heretherewasnosound。Therobinhadgoneawayintothevaststillnessofnight。Nowandthen,acottagedoorinthedistancewasopenedandshut,asiftoadmitthetiredlabourertohishome;butthatsoundedveryfaraway。Astealthy,creeping,cranchingsoundamongthecrispfallenleavesoftheforest,beyondthegarden,seemedalmostcloseathand。Margaretknewitwassomepoacher。Sittingupinherbed-roomthispastautumn,withthelightofhercandleextinguished,andpurelyrevellinginthesolemnbeautyoftheheavensandtheearth,shehadmanyatimeseenthelightnoiselessleapofthepoachersoverthegarden-fence,theirquicktrampacrossthedewymoonlitlawn,theirdisappearanceintheblackstillshadowbeyond。Thewildadventurousfreedomoftheirlifehadtakenherfancy;shefeltinclinedtowishthemsuccess;
shehadnofearofthem。Butto-nightshewasafraid,sheknewnotwhy。
SheheardCharlotteshuttingthewindows,andfasteningupforthenight,unconsciousthatanyonehadgoneoutintothegarden。Asmallbranch——itmightbeofrottenwood,oritmightbebrokenbyforce——cameheavilydowninthenearestpartoftheforest,Margaretran,swiftasCamilla,downtothewindow,andrappedatitwithahurriedtremulousnesswhichstartledCharlottewithin。'Letmein!Letmein!Itisonlyme,Charlotte!'Herheartdidnotstillitsflutteringtillshewassafeinthedrawing-room,withthewindowsfastenedandbolted,andthefamiliarwallshemmingherround,andshuttingherin。Shehadsatedownuponapackingcase;cheerless,Chillwasthedrearyanddismantledroom——nofirenorotherlight,butCharlotte'slongunsnuffedcandle。CharlottelookedatMargaretwithsurprise;andMargaret,feelingitratherthanseeingit,roseup。'Iwasafraidyouwereshuttingmeoutaltogether,Charlotte,'saidshe,half-smiling。'Andthenyouwouldneverhaveheardmeinthekitchen,andthedoorsintothelaneandchurchyardarelockedlongago。''Oh,miss,Ishouldhavebeensuretohavemissedyousoon。Themenwouldhavewantedyoutotellthemhowtogoon。AndIhaveputteainmaster'sstudy,asbeingthemostcomfortableroom,sotospeak。''Thankyou,Charlotte。Youareakindgirl。Ishallbesorrytoleaveyou。
Youmusttryandwritetome,ifIcanevergiveyouanylittlehelporgoodadvice。IshallalwaysbegladtogetaletterfromHelstone,youknow。Ishallbesureandsendyoumyaddresswhen。Iknowit。'Thestudywasallreadyfortea。Therewasagoodblazingfire,andunlightedcandlesonthetable。Margaretsatdownontherug,partlytowarmherself,forthedampnessoftheeveninghungaboutherdress,andoverfatiguehadmadeherchilly。Shekeptherselfbalancedbyclaspingherhandstogetherroundherknees;herheaddroppedalittletowardsherchest;theattitudewasoneofdespondency,whateverherframeofmindmightbe。Butwhensheheardherfather'ssteponthegraveloutside,shestartedup,andhastilyshakingherheavyblackhairback,andwipingafewtearsawaythathadcomeonhercheekssheknewnothow,shewentouttoopenthedoorforhim。Heshowedfarmoredepressionthanshedid。Shecouldhardlygethimtotalk,althoughshetriedtospeakonsubjectsthatwouldinteresthim,atthecostofanefforteverytimewhichshethoughtwouldbeherlast。'Haveyoubeenaverylongwalkto-day?'askedshe,onseeinghisrefusaltotouchfoodofanykind。'AsfarasFordhamBeeches。IwenttoseeWidowMaltby;sheissadlygrievedatnothavingwishedyougood-bye。ShesayslittleSusanhaskeptwatchdownthelanefordayspast——Nay,Margaret,whatisthematter,dear?'
Thethoughtofthelittlechildwatchingforher,andcontinuallydisappointed——fromnoforgetfulnessonherpart,butfromsheerinabilitytoleavehome——wasthelastdropinpoorMargaret'scup,andshewassobbingawayasifherheartwouldbreak。Mr。Halewasdistressinglyperplexed。Herose,andwalkednervouslyupanddowntheroom。Margarettriedtocheckherself,butwouldnotspeakuntilshecoulddosowithfirmness。Sheheardhimtalking,asiftohimself。'Icannotbearit。Icannotbeartoseethesufferingsofothers。IthinkIcouldgothroughmyownwithpatience。Oh,istherenogoingback?''No,father,'saidMargaret,lookingstraightathim,andspeakinglowandsteadily。'Itisbadtobelieveyouinerror。Itwouldheinfinitelyworsetohaveknownyouahypocrite。'Shedroppedhervoiceatthelastfewwords,asifentertainingtheideaofhypocrisyforamomentinconnectionwithherfathersavouredofirreverence。'Besides,'shewenton,'itisonlythatIamtiredto-night;don'tthinkthatIamsufferingfromwhatyouhavedone,dearpapa。Wecan'teitherofustalkaboutitto-night,Ibelieve,'saidshe,findingthattearsandsobswouldcomeinspiteofherself。'Ihadbettergoandtakemammaupthiscupoftea。Shehadhersveryearly,whenIwastoobusytogotoher,andIamsureshewillbegladofanothernow。'Railroadtimeinexorablywrenchedthemawayfromlovely,belovedHelstone,thenextmorning。Theyweregone;theyhadseenthelastofthelonglowparsonagehome,half-coveredwithChina-rosesandpyracanthus——morehomelikethaneverinthemorningsunthatglitteredonitswindows,eachbelongingtosomewell-lovedroom。Almostbeforetheyhadsettledthemselvesintothecar,sentfromSouthamptontofetchthemtothestation,theyweregoneawaytoreturnnomore。AstingatMargaret'sheartmadeherstrivetolookouttocatchthelastglimpseoftheoldchurchtowerattheturnwheresheknewitmightbeseenaboveawaveoftheforesttrees;butherfatherrememberedthistoo,andshesilentlyacknowledgedhisgreaterrighttotheonewindowfromwhichitcouldbeseen。Sheleantbackandshuthereyes,andthetearswelledforth,andhungglitteringforaninstantontheshadowingeye-lashesbeforerollingslowlydownhercheeks,anddropping,unheeded,onherdress。TheyweretostopinLondonallnightatsomequiethotel。PoorMrs。Halehadcriedinherwaynearlyalldaylong;andDixonshowedhersorrowbyextremecrossness,andacontinualirritableattempttokeepherpetticoatsfromeventouchingtheunconsciousMr。Hale,whomsheregardedastheoriginofallthissuffering。Theywentthroughthewell-knownstreets,pasthouseswhichtheyhadoftenvisited,pastshopsinwhichshehadlounged,impatient,byheraunt'sside,whilethatladywasmakingsomeimportantandinterminabledecision-nay,absolutelypastacquaintancesinthestreets;forthoughthemorninghadbeenofanincalculablelengthtothem,andtheyfeltasifitoughtlongagotohaveclosedinforthereposeofdarkness,itwastheverybusiesttimeofaLondonafternooninNovemberwhentheyarrivedthere。ItwaslongsinceMrs。HalehadbeeninLondon;andsherousedup,almostlikeachild,tolookaboutheratthedifferentstreets,andtogazeafterandexclaimattheshopsandcarriages。'Oh,there'sHarrison's,whereIboughtsomanyofmywedding-things。Dear!
howaltered!They'vegotimmenseplate-glasswindows,largerthanCrawford'sinSouthampton。Oh,andthere,Ideclare——no,itisnot——yes,itis——Margaret,wehavejustpassedMr。HenryLennox。Wherecanhebegoing,amongalltheseshops?'Margaretstartedforwards,andasquicklyfellback,half-smilingatherselfforthesuddenmotion。Theywereahundredyardsawaybythistime;butheseemedlikearelicofHelstone——hewasassociatedwithabrightmorning,aneventfulday,andsheshouldhavelikedtohaveseenhim,withouthisseeingher,——withoutthechanceoftheirspeaking。Theevening,withoutemployment,passedinaroomhighupinanhotel,waslongandheavy。Mr。Halewentouttohisbookseller's,andtocallonafriendortwo。Everyonetheysaw,eitherinthehouseoroutinthestreets,appearedhurryingtosomeappointment,expectedby,orexpectingsomebody。Theyaloneseemedstrangeandfriendless,anddesolate。Yetwithinamile,Margaretknewofhouseafterhouse,wheresheforherownsake,andhermotherforherauntShaw's,wouldbewelcomed,iftheycameingladness,oreveninpeaceofmind。Iftheycamesorrowing,andwantingsympathyinacomplicatedtroublelikethepresent,thentheywouldbefeltasashadowinallthesehousesofintimateacquaintances,notfriends。
LondonlifeistoowhirlingandfulltoadmitofevenanhourofthatdeepsilenceoffeelingwhichthefriendsofJobshowed,when'theysatwithhimonthegroundsevendaysandsevennights,andnonespakeaworduntohim;fortheysawthathisgriefwasverygreat。'
chapter07CHAPTERVIINEWSCENESANDFACES'Mistclogsthesunshine,SmokydwarfhousesHaveweroundoneveryside。'MATTHEWARNOLD。Thenextafternoon,abouttwentymilesfromMilton-Northern,theyenteredonthelittlebranchrailwaythatledtoHeston。Hestonitselfwasonelongstragglingstreet,runningparalleltotheseashore。Ithadacharacterofitsown,asdifferentfromthelittlebathing-placesinthesouthofEnglandastheyagainfromthoseofthecontinent。TouseaScotchword,everythinglookedmore'purposelike。'Thecountrycartshadmoreiron,andlesswoodandleatheraboutthehorse-gear;thepeopleinthestreets,althoughonpleasurebent,hadyetabusymind。Thecolourslookedgrayer——moreenduring,notsogayandpretty。Therewerenosmock-frocks,evenamongthecountryfolk;theyretardedmotion,andwereapttocatchonmachinery,andsothehabitofwearingthemhaddiedout。InsuchtownsinthesouthofEngland,Margarethadseentheshopmen,whennotemployedintheirbusiness,loungingalittleattheirdoors,enjoyingthefreshair,andthelookupanddownthestreet。Here,iftheyhadanyleisurefromcustomers,theymadethemselvesbusinessintheshop——even,Margaretfancied,totheunnecessaryunrollingandrerollingofribbons。Allthesedifferencesstruckuponhermind,assheandhermotherwentoutnextmorningtolookforlodgings。TheirtwonightsathotelshadcostmorethanMr。Halehadanticipated,andtheyweregladtotakethefirstclean,cheerfulforthefirsttimeformanydays,didMargaretfeelatrest。Thereroomstheymetwiththatwereatlibertytoreceivethem。There,wasadreaminessintherest,too,whichmadeitstillmoreperfectandluxurioustoreposein。Thedistantsea,lappingthesandyshorewithmeasuredsound;thenearercriesofthedonkey-boys;theunusualscenesmovingbeforeherlikepictures,whichshecarednotinherlazinesstohavefullyexplainedbeforetheypassedaway;thestrolldowntothebeachtobreathethesea-air,softandwarmonthatsandyshoreeventotheendofNovember;thegreatlongmistysea-linetouchingthetender-colouredsky;thewhitesailofadistantboatturningsilverinsomepalesunbeam:——itseemedasifshecoulddreamherlifeawayinsuchluxuryofpensiveness,inwhichshemadeherpresentallinall,fromnotdaringtothinkofthepast,orwishingtocontemplatethefuture。Butthefuturemustbemet,howeversternandironitbe。OneeveningitwasarrangedthatMargaretandherfathershouldgothenextdaytoMilton-Northern,andlookoutforahouse。Mr。HalehadreceivedseverallettersfromMr。
Bell,andoneortwofromMr。Thornton,andhewasanxioustoascertainatonceagoodmanyparticularsrespectinghispositionandchancesofsuccessthere,whichhecouldonlydobyaninterviewwiththelattergentleman。
Margaretknewthattheyoughttoberemoving;butshehadarepugnancetotheideaofamanufacturingtown,andbelievedthathermotherwasreceivingbenefitfromHestonair,soshewouldwillinglyhavedeferredtheexpeditiontoMilton。ForseveralmilesbeforetheyreachedMilton,theysawadeeplead-colouredcloudhangingoverthehorizoninthedirectioninwhichitlay。Itwasallthedarkerfromcontrastwiththepalegray-blueofthewintrysky;
forinHestontherehadbeentheearliestsignsoffrost。Nearertothetown,theairhadafainttasteandsmellofsmoke;perhaps,afterall,morealossofthefragranceofgrassandherbagethananypositivetasteorsmell。Quicktheywerewhirledoverlong,straight,hopelessstreetsofregularly-builthouses,allsmallandofbrick。Hereandthereagreatoblongmany-windowedfactorystoodup,likeahenamongherchickens,puffingoutblack'unparliamentary'smoke,andsufficientlyaccountingforthecloudwhichMargarethadtakentoforetellrain。Astheydrovethroughthelargerandwiderstreets,fromthestationtothehotel,theyhadtostopconstantly;greatloadedlurriesblockedupthenotover-widethoroughfares。
Margarethadnowandthenbeenintothecityinherdriveswithheraunt。
Buttheretheheavylumberingvehiclesseemedvariousintheirpurposesandintent;hereeveryvan,everywaggonandtruck,borecotton,eitherintherawshapeinbags,orthewovenshapeinbalesofcalico。Peoplethrongedthefootpaths,mostofthemwell-dressedasregardedthematerial,butwithaslovenlyloosenesswhichstruckMargaretasdifferentfromtheshabby,threadbaresmartnessofasimilarclassinLondon。'NewStreet,'saidMr。Hale。'This,Ibelieve,istheprincipalstreetinMilton。Bellhasoftenspokentomeaboutit。Itwastheopeningofthisstreetfromalaneintoagreatthoroughfare,thirtyyearsago,whichhascausedhispropertytorisesomuchinvalue。Mr。Thornton'smillmustbesomewherenotveryfaroff,forheisMr。Bell'stenant。ButIfancyhedatesfromhiswarehouse。''Whereisourhotel,papa?''Closetotheendofthisstreet,Ibelieve。ShallwehavelunchbeforeorafterwehavelookedatthehouseswemarkedintheMiltonTimes?''Oh,letusgetourworkdonefirst。''Verywell。ThenIwillonlyseeifthereisanynoteorletterformefromMr。Thornton,whosaidhewouldletmeknowanythinghemighthearaboutthesehouses,andthenwewillsetoff。Wewillkeepthecab;itwillbesaferthanlosingourselves,andbeingtoolateforthetrainthisafternoon。'Therewerenolettersawaitinghim。Theysetoutontheirhouse-hunting。
Thirtypoundsa-yearwasalltheycouldaffordtogive,butinHampshiretheycouldhavemetwitharoomyhouseandpleasantgardenforthemoney。
Here,eventhenecessaryaccommodationoftwositting-roomsandfourbed-roomsseemedunattainable。Theywentthroughtheirlist,rejectingeachastheyvisitedit。Thentheylookedateachotherindismay。'Wemustgobacktothesecond,Ithink。Thatone,——inCrampton,don'ttheycallthesuburb?Therewerethreesitting-rooms;don'tyourememberhowwelaughedatthenumbercomparedwiththethreebed-rooms?ButIhaveplanneditall。Thefrontroomdown-stairsistobeyourstudyandourdining-room(poorpapa!),for,youknow,wesettledmammaistohaveascheerfulasitting-roomaswecanget;andthatfrontroomup-stairs,withtheatrociousblueandpinkpaperandheavycornice,hadreallyaprettyviewovertheplain,withagreatbendofriver,orcanal,orwhateveritis,downbelow。ThenIcouldhavethelittlebed-roombehind,inthatprojectionattheheadofthefirstflightofstairs——overthekitchen,youknow——andyouandmammatheroombehindthedrawing-room,andthatclosetintheroofwillmakeyouasplendiddressing-room。''ButDixon,andthegirlwearetohavetohelp?''Oh,waitaminute。Iamoverpoweredbythediscoveryofmyowngeniusformanagement。Dixonistohave——letmesee,Ihaditonce——thebacksitting-room。
Ithinkshewilllikethat。ShegrumblessomuchaboutthestairsatHeston;
andthegirlistohavethatslopingatticoveryourroomandmamma's。
Won'tthatdo?''Idaresayitwill。Butthepapers。Whattaste!Andtheoverloadingsuchahousewithcolourandsuchheavycornices!''Nevermind,papa!Surely,youcancharmthelandlordintore-paperingoneortwooftherooms——thedrawing-roomandyourbed-room——formammawillcomemostincontactwiththem;andyourbook-shelveswillhideagreatdealofthatgaudypatterninthedining-room。''Thenyouthinkitthebest?Ifso,IhadbettergoatonceandcallonthisMr。Donkin,towhomtheadvertisementrefersme。Iwilltakeyoubacktothehotel,whereyoucanorderlunch,andrest,andbythetimeitisready,Ishallbewithyou。IhopeIshallbeabletogetnewpapers。'Margarethopedsotoo,thoughshesaidnothing。Shehadnevercomefairlyincontactwiththetastethatlovesornament,howeverbad,morethantheplainnessandsimplicitywhichareofthemselvestheframeworkofelegance。Herfathertookherthroughtheentranceofthehotel,andleavingheratthefootofthestaircase,wenttotheaddressofthelandlordofthehousetheyhadfixedupon。JustasMargarethadherhandonthedooroftheirsitting-room,shewasfollowedbyaquick-steppingwaiter:'Ibegyourpardon,ma'am。Thegentlemanwasgonesoquickly,Ihadnotimetotellhim。Mr。Thorntoncalledalmostdirectlyafteryouleft;and,asIunderstoodfromwhatthegentlemansaid,youwouldbebackinanhour,Itoldhimso,andhecameagainaboutfiveminutesago,andsaidhewouldwaitforMr。Hale。Heisinyourroomnow,ma'am。''Thankyou。Myfatherwillreturnsoon,andthenyoucantellhim。'Margaretopenedthedoorandwentinwiththestraight,fearless,dignifiedpresencehabitualtoher。Shefeltnoawkwardness;shehadtoomuchthehabitsofsocietyforthat。Herewasapersoncomeonbusinesstoherfather;
and,ashewasonewhohadshownhimselfobliging,shewasdisposedtotreathimwithafullmeasureofcivility。Mr。Thorntonwasagooddealmoresurprisedanddiscomfitedthanshe。Insteadofaquiet,middle-agedclergyman,ayoungladycameforwardwithfrankdignity,——ayoungladyofadifferenttypetomostofthosehewasinthehabitofseeing。Herdresswasveryplain:aclosestrawbonnetofthebestmaterialandshape,trimmedwithwhiteribbon;adarksilkgown,withoutanytrimmingorflounce;
alargeIndianshawl,whichhungaboutherinlongheavyfolds,andwhichsheworeasanempresswearsherdrapery。Hedidnotunderstandwhoshewas,ashecaughtthesimple,straight,unabashedlook,whichshowedthathisbeingtherewasofnoconcerntothebeautifulcountenance,andcalledupnoflushofsurprisetothepaleivoryofthecomplexion。HehadheardthatMr。Halehadadaughter,buthehadimaginedthatshewasalittlegirl。'Mr。Thornton,Ibelieve!'saidMargaret,afterahalf-instant'spause,duringwhichhisunreadywordswouldnotcome。'Willyousitdown。Myfatherbroughtmetothedoor,notaminuteago,butunfortunatelyhewasnottoldthatyouwerehere,andhehasgoneawayonsomebusiness。Buthewillcomebackalmostdirectly。Iamsorryyouhavehadthetroubleofcallingtwice。'Mr。Thorntonwasinhabitsofauthorityhimself,butsheseemedtoassumesomekindofruleoverhimatonce。Hehadbeengettingimpatientatthelossofhistimeonamarket-day,themomentbeforesheappeared,yetnowhecalmlytookaseatatherbidding。'DoyouknowwhereitisthatMr。Halehasgoneto?PerhapsImightbeabletofindhim。''HehasgonetoaMr。Donkin'sinCanuteStreet。Heistheland-lordofthehousemyfatherwishestotakeinCrampton。'Mr。Thorntonknewthehouse。Hehadseentheadvertisement,andbeentolookatit,incompliancewitharequestofMr。Bell'sthathewouldassistMr。Haletothebestofhispower:andalsoinstigatedbyhisowninterestinthecaseofaclergymanwhohadgivenuphislivingundercircumstancessuchasthoseofMr。Hale。Mr。ThorntonhadthoughtthatthehouseinCramptonwasreallyjustthething;butnowthathesawMargaret,withhersuperbwaysofmovingandlooking,hebegantofeelashamedofhavingimaginedthatitwoulddoverywellfortheHales,inspiteofacertainvulgarityinitwhichhadstruckhimatthetimeofhislookingitover。Margaretcouldnothelpherlooks;buttheshortcurledupperlip,theround,massiveup-turnedchin,themannerofcarryingherhead,hermovements,fullofasoftfemininedefiance,alwaysgavestrangerstheimpressionofhaughtiness。Shewastirednow,andwouldratherhaveremainedsilent,andtakentherestherfatherhadplannedforher;but,ofcourse,sheowedittoherselftobeagentlewoman,andtospeakcourteouslyfromtimetotimetothisstranger;notover-brushed,norover-polished,itmustbeconfessed,afterhisroughencounterwithMiltonstreetsandcrowds。
Shewishedthathewouldgo,ashehadoncespokenofdoing,insteadofsittingthere,answeringwithcurtsentencesalltheremarksshemade。
Shehadtakenoffhershawl,andhungitoverthebackofherchair。Shesatfacinghimandfacingthelight;herfullbeautymethiseye;herroundwhiteflexilethroatrisingoutofthefull,yetlithefigure;herlips,movingsoslightlyasshespoke,notbreakingthecoldserenelookofherfacewithanyvariationfromtheonelovelyhaughtycurve;hereyes,withtheirsoftgloom,meetinghiswithquietmaidenfreedom。Healmostsaidtohimselfthathedidnotlikeher,beforetheirconversationended;hetriedsotocompensatehimselfforthemortifiedfeeling,thatwhilehelookeduponherwithanadmirationhecouldnotrepress,shelookedathimwithproudindifference,takinghim,hethought,forwhat,inhisirritation,hetoldhimselfhewas——agreatroughfellow,withnotagraceorarefinementabouthim。Herquietcoldnessofdemeanourheinterpretedintocontemptuousness,andresenteditinhishearttothepitchofalmostinclininghimtogetupandgoaway,andhavenothingmoretodowiththeseHales,andtheirsuperciliousness。JustasMargarethadexhaustedherlastsubjectofconversation——andyetconversationthatcouldhardlybecalledwhichconsistedofsofewandsuchshortspeeches——herfathercamein,andwithhispleasantgentlemanlycourteousnessofapology,reinstatedhisnameandfamilyinMr。Thornton'sgoodopinion。Mr。Haleandhisvisitorhadagooddealtosayrespectingtheirmutualfriend,Mr。Bell;andMargaret,gladthatherpartofentertainingthevisitorwasover,wenttothewindowtotryandmakeherselfmorefamiliarwiththestrangeaspectofthestreet。Shegotsomuchabsorbedinwatchingwhatwasgoingonoutsidethatshehardlyheardherfatherwhenhespoketoher,andhehadtorepeatwhathesaid:'Margaret!thelandlordwillpersistinadmiringthathideouspaper,andIamafraidwemustletitremain。''Ohdear!Iamsorry!'shereplied,andbegantoturnoverinhermindthepossibilityofhidingpartofit,atleast,bysomeofhersketches,butgaveuptheideaatlast,aslikelyonlytomakebadworse。Herfather,meanwhile,withhiskindlycountryhospitality,waspressingMr。Thorntontostaytoluncheonwiththem。Itwouldhavebeenveryinconvenienttohimtodoso,yethefeltthatheshouldhaveyielded,ifMargaretbywordorlookhadsecondedherfather'sinvitation;hewasgladshedidnot,andyethewasirritatedatherfornotdoingit。Shegavehimalow,gravebowwhenheleft,andhefeltmoreawkwardandself-consciousineverylimbthanhehadeverdoneinallhislifebefore。'Well,Margaret,nowtoluncheon,asfastwecan。Haveyouorderedit?''No,papa;thatmanwasherewhenIcamehome,andIhaveneverhadanopportunity。''Thenwemusttakeanythingwecanget。Hemusthavebeenwaitingalongtime,I'mafraid。''Itseemedexceedinglylongtome。Iwasjustatthelastgaspwhenyoucamein。Heneverwentonwithanysubject,butgavelittle,short,abruptanswers。''Verymuchtothepointthough,Ishouldthink。Heisaclearheadedfellow。
Hesaid(didyouhear?)thatCramptonisongravellysoil,andbyfarthemosthealthysuburbintheneighbourhoodofMilton。'WhentheyreturnedtoHeston,therewastheday'saccounttobegiventoMrs。Hale,whowasfullofquestionswhichtheyansweredintheintervalsoftea-drinking。'Andwhatisyourcorrespondent,Mr。Thornton,like?''AskMargaret,'saidherhusband。'Sheandhehadalongattemptatconversation,whileIwasawayspeakingtothelandlord。''Oh!Ihardlyknowwhatheislike,'saidMargaret,lazily;tootiredtotaxherpowersofdescriptionmuch。Andthenrousingherself,shesaid,'Heisatall,broad-shoulderedman,about——howold,papa?''Ishouldguessaboutthirty。''Aboutthirty——withafacethatisneitherexactlyplain,noryethandsome,nothingremarkable——notquiteagentleman;butthatwashardlytobeexpected。''Notvulgar,orcommonthough,'putinherfather,ratherjealousofanydisparagementofthesolefriendhehadinMilton。'Ohno!'saidMargaret。'Withsuchanexpressionofresolutionandpower,noface,howeverplaininfeature,couldbeeithervulgarorcommon。I
shouldnotliketohavetobargainwithhim;helooksveryinflexible。
Altogetheramanwhoseemsmadeforhisniche,mamma;sagacious,andstrong,asbecomesagreattradesman。''Don'tcalltheMiltonmanufacturerstradesmen,Margaret,'saidherfather。
'Theyareverydifferent。''Arethey?Iapplythewordtoallwhohavesomethingtangibletosell;
butifyouthinkthetermisnotcorrect,papa,Iwon'tuseit。But,ohmamma!speakingofvulgarityandcommonness,youmustprepareyourselfforourdrawing-roompaper。Pinkandblueroses,withyellowleaves!Andsuchaheavycorniceroundtheroom!'ButwhentheyremovedtotheirnewhouseinMilton,theobnoxiouspapersweregone。Thelandlordreceivedtheirthanksverycomposedly;andletthemthink,iftheyliked,thathehadrelentedfromhisexpresseddeterminationnottorepaper。Therewasnoparticularneedtotellthem,thatwhathedidnotcaretodoforaReverendMr。Hale,unknowninMilton,hewasonlytoogladtodoattheoneshortsharpremonstranceofMr。Thornton,thewealthymanufacturer。
chapter08CHAPTERVIIIHOMESICKNESS'Andit'shame,hame;hame,HamefainwadIbe。'ItneededtheprettylightpaperingoftheroomstoreconcilethemtoMilton。
Itneededmore——morethatcouldnotbehad。ThethickyellowNovemberfogshadcomeon;andtheviewoftheplaininthevalley,madebythesweepingbendoftheriver,wasallshutoutwhenMrs。Halearrivedathernewhome。MargaretandDixonhadbeenatworkfortwodays,unpackingandarranging,buteverythinginsidethehousestilllookedindisorder;andoutsideathickfogcreptuptotheverywindows,andwasdrivenintoeveryopendoorinchokingwhitewreathsofunwholesomemist。'Oh,Margaret!arewetolivehere?'askedMrs。Haleinblankdismay。Margaret'sheartechoedthedrearinessofthetoneinwhichthisquestionwasput。Shecouldscarcelycommandherselfenoughtosay,'Oh,thefogsinLondonaresometimesfarworse!''ButthenyouknewthatLondonitself,andfriendslaybehindit。Here——well!
wearedesolate。OhDixon,whataplacethisis!''Indeed,ma'am,I'msureitwillbeyourdeathbeforelong,andthenI
knowwho'll——stay!MissHale,that'sfartooheavyforyoutolift。''Notatall,thankyou,Dixon,'repliedMargaret,coldly。'Thebestthingwecandoformammaistogetherroomquitereadyforhertogotobed,whileIgoandbringheracupofcoffee。'Mr。Halewasequallyoutofspirits,andequallycameuponMargaretforsympathy。'Margaret,Idobelievethisisanunhealthyplace。Onlysupposethatyourmother'shealthoryoursshouldsuffer。IwishIhadgoneintosomecountryplaceinWales;thisisreallyterrible,'saidhe,goinguptothewindow。Therewasnocomforttobegiven。TheyweresettledinMilton,andmustenduresmokeandfogsforaseason;indeed,allotherlifeseemedshutoutfromthembyasthickafogofcircumstance。Onlythedaybefore,Mr。
HalehadbeenreckoningupwithdismayhowmuchtheirremovalandfortnightatHestonhadcost,andhefoundithadabsorbednearlyallhislittlestockofreadymoney。No!heretheywere,andheretheymustremain。AtnightwhenMargaretrealisedthis,shefeltinclinedtositdowninastuporofdespair。Theheavysmokyairhungaboutherbedroom,whichoccupiedthelongnarrowprojectionatthebackofthehouse。Thewindow,placedatthesideoftheoblong,lookedtotheblankwallofasimilarprojection,notabovetenfeetdistant。Itloomedthroughthefoglikeagreatbarriertohope。Insidetheroomeverythingwasinconfusion。Alltheireffortshadbeendirectedtomakehermother'sroomcomfortable。
Margaretsatdownonabox,thedirectioncarduponwhichstruckherashavingbeenwrittenatHelstone——beautiful,belovedHelstone!Shelostherselfindismalthought:butatlastshedeterminedtotakehermindawayfromthepresent;andsuddenlyrememberedthatshehadaletterfromEdithwhichshehadonlyhalfreadinthebustleofthemorning。ItwastotelloftheirarrivalatCorfu;theirvoyagealongtheMediterranean——theirmusic,anddancingonboardship;thegaynewlifeopeninguponher;herhousewithitstrellisedbalcony,anditsviewsoverwhitecliffsanddeepbluesea。Edithwrotefluentlyandwell,ifnotgraphically。Shecouldnotonlyseizethesalientandcharacteristicpointsofascene,butshecouldenumerateenoughofindiscriminateparticularsforMargarettomakeitoutforherselfCaptainLennoxandanotherlatelymarriedofficersharedavilla,highuponthebeautifulprecipitousrocksoverhangingthesea。Theirdays,lateasitwasintheyear,seemedspentinboatingorlandpic-nics;allout-of-doors,pleasure-seekingandglad,Edith'slifeseemedlikethedeepvaultofblueskyaboveher,free——utterlyfreefromfleckorcloud。Herhusbandhadtoattenddrill,andshe,themostmusicalofficer'swifethere,hadtocopythenewandpopulartunesoutofthemostrecentEnglishmusic,forthebenefitofthebandmaster;thoseseemedtheirmostsevereandarduousduties。Sheexpressedanaffectionatehopethat,iftheregimentstoppedanotheryearatCorfu,Margaretmightcomeoutandpayheralongvisit。
SheaskedMargaretifsherememberedthedaytwelve-monthonwhichshe,Edith,wrote——howitrainedalldaylonginHarleyStreet;andhowshewouldnotputonhernewgowntogotoastupiddinner,andgetitallwetandsplashedingoingtothecarriage;andhowatthatverydinnertheyhadfirstmetCaptainLennox。Yes!Margaretremembereditwell。EdithandMrs。Shawhadgonetodinner。
Margarethadjoinedthepartyintheevening。Therecollectionoftheplentifulluxuryofallthearrangements,thestatelyhandsomenessofthefurniture,thesizeofthehouse,thepeaceful,untroubledeaseofthevisitors——allcamevividlybeforeher,instrangecontrasttothepresenttime。Thesmoothseaofthatoldlifeclosedup,withoutamarklefttotellwheretheyhadallbeen。Thehabitualdinners,thecalls,theshopping,thedancingevenings,wereallgoingon,goingonforever,thoughherAuntShawandEdithwerenolongerthere;andshe,ofcourse,wasevenlessmissed。Shedoubtedifanyoneofthatoldseteverthoughtofher,exceptHenryLennox。
Hetoo,sheknew,wouldstrivetoforgether,becauseofthepainshehadcausedhim。Shehadheardhimoftenboastofhispowerofputtinganydisagreeablethoughtfarawayfromhim。Thenshepenetratedfartherintowhatmighthavebeen。Ifshehadcaredforhimasalover,andhadacceptedhim,andthischangeinherfather'sopinionsandconsequentstationhadtakenplace,shecouldnotdoubtbutthatitwouldhavebeenimpatientlyreceivedbyMr。Lennox。Itwasabittermortificationtoherinonesense;butshecouldbearitpatiently,becausesheknewherfather'spurityofpurpose,andthatstrengthenedhertoendurehiserrors,graveandseriousthoughinherestimationtheywere。Butthefactoftheworldesteemingherfatherdegraded,initsroughwholesalejudgment,wouldhaveoppressedandirritatedMr。Lennox。Assherealisedwhatmighthavebeen,shegrewtobethankfulforwhatwas。Theywereatthelowestnow;theycouldnotbeworse。Edith'sastonishmentandherauntShaw'sdismaywouldhavetobemetbravely,whentheirletterscame。SoMargaretroseupandbeganslowlytoundressherself,feelingthefullluxuryofactingleisurely,lateasitwas,afterallthepasthurryoftheday。Shefellasleep,hopingforsomebrightness,eitherinternalorexternal。Butifshehadknownhowlongitwouldbebeforethebrightnesscame,herheartwouldhavesunklowdown。Thetimeoftheyearwasmostunpropitioustohealthaswellastospirits。Hermothercaughtaseverecold,andDixonherselfwasevidentlynotwell,althoughMargaretcouldnotinsulthermorethanbytryingtosaveher,orbytakinganycareofher。Theycouldhearofnogirltoassisther;
allwereatworkinthefactories;atleast,thosewhoappliedwerewellscoldedbyDixon,forthinkingthatsuchastheycouldeverbetrustedtoworkinagentleman'shouse。Sotheyhadtokeepacharwomaninalmostconstantemploy。MargaretlongedtosendforCharlotte;butbesidestheobjectionofherbeingabetterservantthantheycouldnowaffordtokeep,thedistancewastoogreat。Mr。Halemetwithseveralpupils,recommendedtohimbyMr。Bell,orbythemoreimmediateinfluenceofMr。Thornton。Theyweremostlyoftheagewhenmanyboyswouldbestillatschool,but,accordingtotheprevalent,andapparentlywell-foundednotionsofMilton,tomakealadintoagoodtradesmanhemustbecaughtyoung,andacclimatedtothelifeofthemill,oroffice,orwarehouse。IfheweresenttoeventheScotchUniversities,hecamebackunsettledforcommercialpursuits;howmuchmoresoifhewenttoOxfordorCambridge,wherehecouldnotbeenteredtillhewaseighteen?Somostofthemanufacturersplacedtheirsonsinsuckingsituations'
atfourteenorfifteenyearsofage,unsparinglycuttingawayalloff-shootsinthedirectionofliteratureorhighmentalcultivation,inhopesofthrowingthewholestrengthandvigouroftheplantintocommerce。Stillthereweresomewiserparents;andsomeyoungmen,whohadsenseenoughtoperceivetheirowndeficiencies,andstrivetoremedythem。Nay,therewereafewnolongeryouths,butmenintheprimeoflife,whohadthesternwisdomtoacknowledgetheirownignorance,andtolearnlatewhattheyshouldhavelearntearly。Mr。ThorntonwasperhapstheoldestofMr。
Hale'spupils。Hewascertainlythefavourite。Mr。Halegotintothehabitofquotinghisopinionssofrequently,andwithsuchregard,thatitbecamealittledomesticjoketowonderwhattime,duringthehourappointedforinstruction,couldbegiventoabsolutelearning,somuchofitappearedtohavebeenspentinconversation。Margaretratherencouragedthislight,merrywayofviewingherfather'sacquaintancewithMr。Thornton,becauseshefeltthathermotherwasinclinedtolookuponthisnewfriendshipofherhusband'swithjealouseyes。Aslongashistimehadbeensolelyoccupiedwithhisbooksandhisparishioners,asatHelstone,shehadappearedtocarelittlewhethershesawmuchofhimornot;butnowthathelookedeagerlyforwardtoeachrenewalofhisintercoursewithMr。Thornton,sheseemedhurtandannoyed,asifhewereslightinghercompanionshipforthefirsttime。Mr。Hale'sover-praisehadtheusualeffectofover-praiseuponhisauditors;theywerealittleinclinedtorebelagainstAristidesbeingalwayscalledtheJust。Afteraquietlifeinacountryparsonageformorethantwentyyears,therewassomethingdazzlingtoMr。Haleintheenergywhichconqueredimmensedifficultieswithease;thepowerofthemachineryofMilton,thepowerofthemenofMilton,impressedhimwithasenseofgrandeur,whichheyieldedtowithoutcaringtoinquireintothedetailsofitsexercise。
ButMargaretwentlessabroad,amongmachineryandmen;sawlessofpowerinitspubliceffect,and,asithappened,shewasthrownwithoneortwoofthosewho,inallmeasuresaffectingmassesofpeople,mustbeacutesufferersforthegoodofmany。Thequestionalwaysis,haseverythingbeendonetomakethesufferingsoftheseexceptionsassmallaspossible?
Or,inthetriumphofthecrowdedprocession,havethehelplessbeentrampledon,insteadofbeinggentlyliftedasideoutoftheroadwayoftheconqueror,whomtheyhavenopowertoaccompanyonhismarch?ItfelltoMargaret'ssharetohavetolookoutforaservanttoassistDixon,whohadatfirstundertakentofindjustthepersonshewantedtodoalltheroughworkofthehouse。ButDixon'sideasofhelpfulgirlswerefoundedontherecollectionoftidyelderscholarsatHelstoneschool,whowereonlytooproudtobeallowedtocometotheparsonageonabusyday,andtreatedMrs。Dixonwithalltherespect,andagooddealmoreoffright,whichtheypaidtoMr。andMrs。Hale。Dixonwasnotunconsciousofthisawedreverencewhichwasgiventoher;nordidshedislikeit;
itflatteredhermuchasLouistheFourteenthwasflatteredbyhiscourtiersshadingtheireyesfromthedazzlinglightofhispresence。'ButnothingshortofherfaithfulloveforMrs。HalecouldhavemadeherenduretheroughindependentwayinwhichalltheMiltongirls,whomadeapplicationfortheservant'splace,repliedtoherinquiriesrespectingtheirqualifications。
Theyevenwentthelengthofquestioningherbackagain;havingdoubtsandfearsoftheirown,astothesolvencyofafamilywholivedinahouseofthirtypoundsa-year,andyetgavethemselvesairs,andkepttwoservants,oneofthemsoveryhighandmighty。Mr。HalewasnolongerlookeduponasVicarofHelstone,butasamanwhoonlyspentatacertainrate。MargaretwaswearyandimpatientoftheaccountswhichDixonperpetuallybroughttoMrs。Haleofthebehaviourofthesewould-beservants。NotbutwhatMargaretwasrepelledbytheroughuncourteousmannersofthesepeople;
notbutwhatsheshrunkwithfastidiouspridefromtheirhail-fellowaccostandseverelyresentedtheirunconcealedcuriosityastothemeansandpositionofanyfamilywholivedinMilton,andyetwerenotengagedintradeofsomekind。ButthemoreMargaretfeltimpertinence,themorelikelyshewastobesilentonthesubject;and,atanyrate,ifshetookuponherselftomakeinquiryforaservant,shecouldsparehermothertherecitalofallherdisappointmentsandfanciedorrealinsults。Margaretaccordinglywentupanddowntobutchersandgrocers,seekingforanonpareilofagirl;andloweringherhopesandexpectationseveryweek,asshefoundthedifficultyofmeetingwithanyoneinamanufacturingtownwhodidnotpreferthebetterwagesandgreaterindependenceofworkinginamill。ItwassomethingofatrialtoMargarettogooutbyherselfinthisbusybustlingplace。Mrs。Shaw'sideasofproprietyandherownhelplessdependenceonothers,hadalwaysmadeherinsistthatafootmanshouldaccompanyEdithandMargaret,iftheywentbeyondHarleyStreetortheimmediateneighbourhood。Thelimitsbywhichthisruleofheraunt'shadcircumscribedMargaret'sindependencehadbeensilentlyrebelledagainstatthetime:andshehaddoublyenjoyedthefreewalksandramblesofherforestlife,fromthecontrastwhichtheypresented。Shewentalongtherewithaboundingfearlessstep,thatoccasionallybrokeoutintoarun,ifshewereinahurry,andoccasionallywasstilledintoperfectrepose,asshestoodlisteningto,orwatchinganyofthewildcreatureswhosangintheleafycourts,orglancedoutwiththeirkeenbrighteyesfromthelowbrushwoodortangledfurze。Itwasatrialtocomedownfromsuchmotionorsuchstillness,onlyguidedbyherownsweetwill,totheevenanddecorouspacenecessaryinstreets。Butshecouldhavelaughedatherselfformindingthischange,ifithadnotbeenaccompaniedbywhatwasamoreseriousannoyance。ThesideofthetownonwhichCramptonlaywasespeciallyathoroughfareforthefactorypeople。Inthebackstreetsaroundthemthereweremanymills,outofwhichpouredstreamsofmenandwomentwoorthreetimesaday。UntilMargarethadlearntthetimesoftheiringressandegress,shewasveryunfortunateinconstantlyfallinginwiththem。Theycamerushingalong,withbold,fearlessfaces,andloudlaughsandjests,particularlyaimedatallthosewhoappearedtobeabovetheminrankorstation。Thetonesoftheirunrestrainedvoices,andtheircarelessnessofallcommonrulesofstreetpoliteness,frightenedMargaretalittleatfirst。Thegirls,withtheirrough,butnotunfriendlyfreedom,wouldcommentonherdress,eventouchhershawlorgowntoascertaintheexactmaterial;nay,onceortwiceshewasaskedquestionsrelativetosomearticlewhichtheyparticularlyadmired。Therewassuchasimplerelianceonherwomanlysympathywiththeirloveofdress,andonherkindliness,thatshegladlyrepliedtotheseinquiries,assoonassheunderstoodthem;andhalfsmiledbackattheirremarks。Shedidnotmindmeetinganynumberofgirls,loudspokenandboisterousthoughtheymightbe。Butshealternatelydreadedandfiredupagainsttheworkmen,whocommentednotonherdress,butonherlooks,inthesameopenfearlessmanner。She,whohadhithertofeltthateventhemostrefinedremarkonherpersonalappearancewasanimpertinence,hadtoendureundisguisedadmirationfromtheseoutspokenmen。Buttheveryout-spokennessmarkedtheirinnocenceofanyintentiontohurtherdelicacy,asshewouldhaveperceivedifshehadbeenlessfrightenedbythedisorderlytumult。Outofherfrightcameaflashofindignationwhichmadeherfacescarlet,andherdarkeyesgatherflame,assheheardsomeoftheirspeeches。Yettherewereothersayingsoftheirs,which,whenshereachedthequietsafetyofhome,amusedherevenwhiletheyirritatedher。Forinstance,oneday,aftershehadpassedanumberofmen,severalofwhomhadpaidherthenotunusualcomplimentofwishingshewastheirsweetheart,oneofthelingerersadded,'Yourbonnyface,mylass,makesthedaylookbrighter。'Andanotherday,asshewasunconsciouslysmilingatsomepassingthought,shewasaddressedbyapoorly-dressed,middle-agedworkman,with'Youmaywellsmile,mylass;manyaonewouldsmiletohavesuchabonnyface。'ThismanlookedsocarewornthatMargaretcouldnothelpgivinghimanansweringsmile,gladtothinkthatherlooks,suchastheywere,shouldhavehadthepowertocallupapleasantthought。Heseemedtounderstandheracknowledgingglance,andasilentrecognitionwasestablishedbetweenthemwheneverthechancesofthedaybroughtthemacrosseachotherspaths。
Theyhadneverexchangedaword;nothinghadbeensaidbutthatfirstcompliment;
yetsomehowMargaretlookeduponthismanwithmoreinterestthanuponanyoneelseinMilton。Onceortwice,onSundays,shesawhimwalkingwithagirl,evidentlyhisdaughter,and,ifpossible,stillmoreunhealthythanhewashimself。OnedayMargaretandherfatherhadbeenasfarasthefieldsthatlayaroundthetown;itwasearlyspring,andshehadgatheredsomeofthehedgeandditchflowers,dog-violets,lessercelandines,andthelike,withanunspokenlamentinherheartforthesweetprofusionoftheSouth。
HerfatherhadlefthertogointoMiltonuponsomebusiness;andontheroadhomeshemetherhumblefriends。Thegirllookedwistfullyattheflowers,and,actingonasuddenimpulse,Margaretofferedthemtoher。
Herpaleblueeyeslightenedupasshetookthem,andherfatherspokeforher。'Thankyo,Miss。Bessy'llthinkadealo'themflowers;thathoowill;
andIshallthinkadealo'yorkindness。Yo'renotofthiscountry,I
reckon?''No!'saidMargaret,halfsighing。'IcomefromtheSouth——fromHampshire,'
shecontinued,alittleafraidofwoundinghisconsciousnessofignorance,ifsheusedanamewhichhedidnotunderstand。'That'sbeyondLondon,Ireckon?AndIcomefro'Burnley-ways,andfortymiletoth'North。Andyet,yosee,NorthandSouthhasbothmetandmadekindo'friendsinthisbigsmokyplace。'Margarethadslackenedherpacetowalkalongsideofthemanandhisdaughter,whosestepswereregulatedbythefeeblenessofthelatter。Shenowspoketothegirl,andtherewasasoundoftenderpityinthetoneofhervoiceasshedidsothatwentrighttotheheartofthefather。'I'mafraidyouarenotverystrong。''No,'saidthegirl,'norneverwillbe。''Springiscoming,'saidMargaret,asiftosuggestpleasant,hopefulthoughts。'Springnorsummerwilldomegood,'saidthegirlquietly。Margaretlookedupattheman,almostexpectingsomecontradictionfromhim,oratleastsomeremarkthatwouldmodifyhisdaughter'sutterhopelessness。
But,instead,headded——'I'mafearedhoospeakstruth。I'mafearedhoo'stoofargoneinawaste。''IshallhaveaspringwhereI'mbounto,andflowers,andamaranths,andshiningrobesbesides。''Poorlass,poorlass!'saidherfatherinalowtone。'I'mnonesosureo'that;butit'sacomforttothee,poorlass,poorlass。Poorfather!
it'llbesoon。'Margaretwasshockedbyhiswords——shockedbutnotrepelled;ratherattractedandinterested。'Wheredoyoulive?Ithinkwemustbeneighbours,wemeetsooftenonthisroad。''WeputupatnineFrancesStreet,secondturntoth'leftatafteryo'vepastth'GouldenDragon。''Andyourname?Imustnotforgetthat。''I'mnoneashamedo'myname。It'sNicholasHiggins。Hoo'scalledBessyHiggins。Whattenyo'askingfor?'Margaretwassurprisedatthislastquestion,foratHelstoneitwouldhavebeenanunderstoodthing,aftertheinquiriesshehadmade,thatsheintendedtocomeandcalluponanypoorneighbourwhosenameandhabitationshehadaskedfor。'Ithought——Imeanttocomeandseeyou。'Shesuddenlyfeltrathershyofofferingthevisit,withouthavinganyreasontogiveforherwishtomakeit'beyondakindlyinterestinastranger。Itseemedallatoncetotaketheshapeofanimpertinenceonherpart;shereadthismeaningtoointheman'seyes。'I'mnonesofondofhavingstrangefolkinmyhouse。'Butthenrelenting,ashesawherheightenedcolour,headded,'Yo'reaforeigner,asonemaysay,andmaybedon'tknowmanyfolkhere,andyo'vegivenmywenchhereflowersoutofyo'rownhand;——yomaycomeifyolike。'Margaretwashalf-amused,half-nettledatthisanswer。Shewasnotsureifshewouldgowherepermissionwasgivensolikeafavourconferred。
ButwhentheycametothetownintoFrancesStreet,thegirlstoppedaminute,andsaid,'Yo'llnotforgetyo'retocomeandseeus。''Aye,aye,'saidthefather,impatiently,'hoo'llcome。Hoo'sabitsetupnow,becausehoothinksImightha'spokenmorecivilly;buthoo'llthinkbetteronit,andcome。Icanreadherproudbonnyfacelikeabook。
Comealong,Bess;there'sthemillbellringing。'Margaretwenthome,wonderingathernewfriends,andsmilingattheman'sinsightintowhathadbeenpassinginhermind。FromthatdayMiltonbecameabrighterplacetoher。Itwasnotthelong,bleaksunnydaysofspring,noryetwasitthattimewasreconcilinghertothetownofherhabitation。
Itwasthatinitshehadfoundahumaninterest。
chapter09CHAPTERIXDRESSINGFORTEA'LetChina'searth,enrich'dwithcolour'dstains,Pencil'dwithgold,andstreak'dwithazureveinsThegratefulflavouroftheIndianleaf,OrMocho'ssunburntberrygladreceive。MRS。BARBAULD。ThedayafterthismeetingwithHigginsandhisdaughter,Mr。Halecameupstairsintothelittledrawing-roomatanunusualhour。Hewentuptodifferentobjectsintheroom,asifexaminingthem,butMargaretsawthatitwasmerelyanervoustrick——awayofputtingoffsomethinghewished,yetfearedtosay。Outitcameatlast——'Mydear!I'veaskedMr。Thorntontocometoteato-night。'Mrs。Halewasleaningbackinhereasychair,withhereyesshut,andanexpressionofpainonherfacewhichhadbecomehabitualtoheroflate。
Butsherousedupintoquerulousnessatthisspeechofherhusband's。'Mr。Thornton!——andto-night!Whatintheworlddoesthemanwanttocomeherefor?AndDixoniswashingmymuslinsandlaces,andthereisnosoftwaterwiththesehorrideastwinds,whichIsupposeweshallhavealltheyearroundinMilton。''Thewindisveeringround,mydear,'saidMr。Hale,lookingoutatthesmoke,whichdriftedrightfromtheeast,onlyhedidnotyetunderstandthepointsofthecompass,andratherarrangedthemadlibitum,accordingtocircumstances。'Don'ttellme!'saidMrs。Hale,shudderingup,andwrappinghershawlaboutherstillmoreclosely。'But,eastorwestwind,Isupposethismancomes。''Oh,mamma,thatshowsyouneversawMr。Thornton。Helookslikeapersonwhowouldenjoybattlingwitheveryadversethinghecouldmeetwith——enemies,winds,orcircumstances。Themoreitrainsandblows,themorecertainwearetohavehim。ButI'llgoandhelpDixon。I'mgettingtobeafamousclear-starcher。Andhewon'twantanyamusementbeyondtalkingtopapa。
Papa,IamreallylongingtoseethePythiastoyourDamon。YouknowI
neversawhimbutonce,andthenweweresopuzzledtoknowwhattosaytoeachotherthatwedidnotgetonparticularlywell。''Idon'tknowthatyouwouldeverlikehim,orthinkhimagreeable,Margaret。