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THE HOUSE OF MIRTH
书架
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第3章
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Dorset’stoils,showedhimtobesocompletelyfreefromthemthathewasnotafraidofherproximity。

Thesethoughtssoengagedherthatshefellintoagaithardlylikelytocarryhertochurchbeforethesermon,andatlength,havingpassedfromthegardenstothewood-pathbeyond,sofarforgotherintentionastosinkintoarusticseatatabendofthewalk。Thespotwascharming,andLilywasnotinsensibletothecharm,ortothefactthatherpresenceenhancedit;butshewasnotaccustomedtotastethejoysofsolitudeexceptincompany,andthecombinationofahandsomegirlandaromanticscenestruckherastoogoodtobewasted。Noone,however,appearedtoprofitbytheopportunity;andafterahalfhouroffruitlesswaitingsheroseandwanderedon。Shefeltastealingsenseoffatigueasshewalked;thesparklehaddiedoutofher,andthetasteoflifewasstaleonherlips。Shehardlyknewwhatshehadbeenseeking,orwhythefailuretofindithadsoblottedthelightfromhersky:shewasonlyawareofavaguesenseoffailure,ofaninnerisolationdeeperthanthelonelinessabouther。

Herfootstepsflagged,andshestoodgazinglistlesslyahead,diggingthefernyedgeofthepathwiththetipofhersunshade。

Asshedidsoastepsoundedbehindher,andshesawSeldenatherside。

"Howfastyouwalk!"heremarked。"IthoughtIshouldnevercatchupwithyou。"

Sheansweredgaily:"Youmustbequitebreathless!I’vebeensittingunderthattreeforanhour。"

"Waitingforme,Ihope?"herejoined;andshesaidwithavaguelaugh:

"Well——waitingtoseeifyouwouldcome。"

"Iseizethedistinction,butIdon’tmindit,sincedoingtheoneinvolveddoingtheother。Butweren’tyousurethatIshouldcome?"

"IfIwaitedlongenough——butyouseeIhadonlyalimitedtimetogivetotheexperiment。"

"Whylimited?Limitedbyluncheon?"

"No;bymyotherengagement。"

"YourengagementtogotochurchwithMurielandHilda?"

"No;buttocomehomefromchurchwithanotherperson。"

"Ah,Isee;Imighthaveknownyouwerefullyprovidedwithalternatives。Andistheotherpersoncominghomethisway?"

Lilylaughedagain。"That’sjustwhatIdon’tknow;andtofindout,itismybusinesstogettochurchbeforetheserviceisover。"

"Exactly;anditismybusinesstopreventyourdoingso;inwhichcasetheotherperson,piquedbyyourabsence,willformthedesperateresolveofdrivingbackintheomnibus。"

Lilyreceivedthiswithfreshappreciation;hisnonsensewaslikethebubblingofherinnermood。"Isthatwhatyouwoulddoinsuchanemergency?"sheenquired。

Seldenlookedatherwithsolemnity。"Iamheretoprovetoyou,"

hecried,"whatIamcapableofdoinginanemergency!"

"Walkingamileinanhour——youmustownthattheomnibuswouldbequicker!"

"Ah——butwillhefindyouintheend?That’stheonlytestofsuccess。"

Theylookedateachotherwiththesameluxuryofenjoymentthattheyhadfeltinexchangingabsurditiesoverhistea-table;butsuddenlyLily’sfacechanged,andshesaid:"Well,ifitis,hehassucceeded。"

Selden,followingherglance,perceivedapartyofpeopleadvancingtowardthemfromthefartherbendofthepath。LadyCressidahadevidentlyinsistedonwalkinghome,andtherestofthechurch-goershadthoughtittheirdutytoaccompanyher。Lily’scompanionlookedrapidlyfromonetotheotherofthetwomenoftheparty;WetherallwalkingrespectfullyatLadyCressida’ssidewithhislittlesidelonglookofnervousattention,andPercyGrycebringinguptherearwithMrs。

WetherallandtheTrenors。

"Ah——nowIseewhyyouweregettingupyourAmericana!"Seldenexclaimedwithanoteofthefreestadmirationbuttheblushwithwhichthesallywasreceivedcheckedwhateveramplificationshehadmeanttogiveit。

ThatLilyBartshouldobjecttobeingbanteredabouthersuitors,orevenabouthermeansofattractingthem,wassonewtoSeldenthathehadamomentaryflashofsurprise,whichlitupanumberofpossibilities;butsherosegallantlytothedefenceofherconfusion,bysaying,asitsobjectapproached:"ThatwaswhyI

waswaitingforyou——tothankyouforhavinggivenmesomanypoints!"

"Ah,youcanhardlydojusticetothesubjectinsuchashorttime,"saidSelden,astheTrenorgirlscaughtsightofMissBart;andwhileshesignalledaresponsetotheirboisterousgreeting,headdedquickly:"Won’tyoudevoteyourafternoontoit?YouknowImustbeofftomorrowmorning。We’lltakeawalk,andyoucanthankmeatyourleisure。"

Theafternoonwasperfect。Adeeperstillnesspossessedtheair,andtheglitteroftheAmericanautumnwastemperedbyahazewhichdiffusedthebrightnesswithoutdullingit。

Inthewoodyhollowsoftheparktherewasalreadyafaintchill;

butasthegroundrosetheairgrewlighter,andascendingthelongslopesbeyondthehigh-road,Lilyandhercompanionreachedazoneoflingeringsummer。Thepathwoundacrossameadowwithscatteredtrees;thenitdippedintoalaneplumedwithastersandpurplingspraysofbramble,whence,throughthelightquiverofash-leaves,thecountryunrolleditselfinpastoraldistances。

Higherup,thelaneshowedthickeningtuftsoffernandofthecreepingglossyverdureofshadedslopes;treesbegantooverhangit,andtheshadedeepenedtothecheckeredduskofabeech-grove。Thebolesofthetreesstoodwellapart,withonlyalightfeatheringofundergrowth;thepathwoundalongtheedgeofthewood,nowandthenlookingoutonasunlitpastureoronanorchardspangledwithfruit。

Lilyhadnorealintimacywithnature,butshehadapassionfortheappropriateandcouldbekeenlysensitivetoascenewhichwasthefittingbackgroundofherownsensations。Thelandscapeoutspreadbelowherseemedanenlargementofherpresentmood,andshefoundsomethingofherselfinitscalmness,itsbreadth,itslongfreereaches。Onthenearerslopesthesugar-mapleswaveredlikepyresoflight;lowerdownwasamassingofgreyorchards,andhereandtherethelingeringgreenofanoak-grove。

Twoorthreeredfarm-housesdozedundertheapple-trees,andthewhitewoodenspireofavillagechurchshowedbeyondtheshoulderofthehill;whilefarbelow,inahazeofdust,thehigh-roadranbetweenthefields。

"Letussithere,"Seldensuggested,astheyreachedanopenledgeofrockabovewhichthebeechesrosesteeplybetweenmossyboulders。

Lilydroppeddownontherock,glowingwithherlongclimb。Shesatquiet,herlipspartedbythestressoftheascent,hereyeswanderingpeacefullyoverthebrokenrangesofthelandscape。Seldenstretchedhimselfonthegrassatherfeet,tiltinghishatagainstthelevelsun-rays,andclaspinghishandsbehindhishead,whichrestedagainstthesideoftherock。

Hehadnowishtomakehertalk;herquick-breathingsilenceseemedapartofthegeneralhushandharmonyofthings。Inhisownmindtherewasonlyalazysenseofpleasure,veilingthesharpedgesofsensationastheSeptemberhazeveiledthesceneattheirfeet。ButLily,thoughherattitudewasascalmashis,wasthrobbinginwardlywitharushofthoughts。Therewereinheratthemomenttwobeings,onedrawingdeepbreathsoffreedomandexhilaration,theothergaspingforairinalittleblackprison-houseoffears。Butgraduallythecaptive’sgaspsgrewfainter,ortheotherpaidlessheedtothem:thehorizonexpanded,theairgrewstronger,andthefreespiritquiveredforflight。

Shecouldnotherselfhaveexplainedthesenseofbuoyancywhichseemedtoliftandswingherabovethesun-suffusedworldatherfeet。Wasitlove,shewondered,oramerefortuitouscombinationofhappythoughtsandsensations?Howmuchofitwasowingtothespelloftheperfectafternoon,thescentofthefadingwoods,thethoughtofthedulnessshehadfledfrom?Lilyhadnodefiniteexperiencebywhichtotestthequalityofherfeelings。

Shehadseveraltimesbeeninlovewithfortunesorcareers,butonlyoncewithaman。Thatwasyearsago,whenshefirstcameout,andhadbeensmittenwitharomanticpassionforayounggentlemannamedHerbertMelson,whohadblueeyesandalittlewaveinhishair。Mr。Melson,whowaspossessedofnoothernegotiablesecurities,hadhastenedtoemploytheseincapturingtheeldestMissVanOsburgh:sincethenhehadgrownstoutandwheezy,andwasgiventotellinganecdotesabouthischildren。IfLilyrecalledthisearlyemotionitwasnottocompareitwiththatwhichnowpossessedher;theonlypointofcomparisonwasthesenseoflightness,ofemancipation,whichsherememberedfeeling,inthewhirlofawaltzortheseclusionofaconservatory,duringthebriefcourseofheryouthfulromance。

Shehadnotknownagaintilltodaythatlightness,thatglowoffreedom;butnowitwassomethingmorethanablindgropingoftheblood。ThepeculiarcharmofherfeelingforSeldenwasthatsheunderstoodit;shecouldputherfingeroneverylinkofthechainthatwasdrawingthemtogether。Thoughhispopularitywasofthequietkind,feltratherthanactivelyexpressedamonghisfriends,shehadnevermistakenhisinconspicuousnessforobscurity。Hisreputedcultivationwasgenerallyregardedasaslightobstacletoeasyintercourse,butLily,whopridedherselfonherbroad-mindedrecognitionofliterature,andalwayscarriedanOmarKhayaminhertravelling-bag,wasattractedbythisattribute,whichshefeltwouldhavehaditsdistinctioninanoldersociety。Itwas,moreover,oneofhisgiftstolookhispart;tohaveaheightwhichliftedhisheadabovethecrowd,andthekeenly-modelleddarkfeatureswhich,inalandofamorphoustypes,gavehimtheairofbelongingtoamorespecializedrace,ofcarryingtheimpressofaconcentratedpast。Expansivepersonsfoundhimalittledry,andveryyounggirlsthoughthimsarcastic;butthisairoffriendlyaloofness,asfarremovedaspossiblefromanyassertionofpersonaladvantage,wasthequalitywhichpiquedLily’sinterest。Everythingabouthimaccordedwiththefastidiouselementinhertaste,eventothelightironywithwhichhesurveyedwhatseemedtohermostsacred。Sheadmiredhimmostofall,perhaps,forbeingabletoconveyasdistinctasenseofsuperiorityastherichestmanshehadevermet。

Itwastheunconsciousprolongationofthisthoughtwhichledhertosaypresently,withalaugh:"Ihavebrokentwoengagementsforyoutoday。Howmanyhaveyoubrokenforme?"

"None,"saidSeldencalmly。"MyonlyengagementatBellomontwaswithyou。"

Sheglanceddownathim,faintlysmiling。

"DidyoureallycometoBellomonttoseeme?"

"OfcourseIdid。"

Herlookdeepenedmeditatively。"Why?"shemurmured,withanaccentwhichtookalltingeofcoquetryfromthequestion。

"Becauseyou’resuchawonderfulspectacle:Ialwaysliketoseewhatyouaredoing。"

"HowdoyouknowwhatIshouldbedoingifyouwerenothere?"

Seldensmiled。"Idon’tflattermyselfthatmycominghasdeflectedyourcourseofactionbyahair’sbreadth。"

"That’sabsurd——since,ifyouwerenothere,Icouldobviouslynotbetakingawalkwithyou。"

"No;butyourtakingawalkwithmeisonlyanotherwayofmakinguseofyourmaterial。YouareanartistandIhappentobethebitofcolouryouareusingtoday。It’sapartofyourclevernesstobeabletoproducepremeditatedeffectsextemporaneously。"

Lilysmiledalso:hiswordsweretooacutenottostrikehersenseofhumour。Itwastruethatshemeanttousetheaccidentofhispresenceaspartofaverydefiniteeffect;orthat,atleast,wasthesecretpretextshehadfoundforbreakingherpromisetowalkwithMr。Gryce。Shehadsometimesbeenaccusedofbeingtooeager——evenJudyTrenorhadwarnedhertogoslowly。

Well,shewouldnotbetooeagerinthiscase;shewouldgivehersuitoralongertasteofsuspense。Wheredutyandinclinationjumpedtogether,itwasnotinLily’snaturetoholdthemasunder。Shehadexcusedherselffromthewalkonthepleaofaheadache:thehorridheadachewhich,inthemorning,hadpreventedherventuringtochurch。Herappearanceatluncheonjustifiedtheexcuse。Shelookedlanguid,fullofasufferingsweetness;shecarriedascent-bottleinherhand。Mr。Grycewasnewtosuchmanifestations;hewonderedrathernervouslyifsheweredelicate,havingfar-reachingfearsaboutthefutureofhisprogeny。Butsympathywontheday,andhebesoughthernottoexposeherself:healwaysconnectedtheouterairwithideasofexposure。

Lilyhadreceivedhissympathywithlanguidgratitude,urginghim,sincesheshouldbesuchpoorcompany,tojointherestofthepartywho,afterluncheon,werestartinginautomobilesonavisittotheVanOsburghsatPeekskill。Mr。Grycewastouchedbyherdisinterestedness,and,toescapefromthethreatenedvacuityoftheafternoon,hadtakenheradviceanddepartedmournfully,inadust-hoodandgoggles:asthemotor-carplungeddowntheavenueshesmiledathisresemblancetoabaffledbeetle。Seldenhadwatchedhermanoeuvreswithlazyamusement。Shehadmadenoreplytohissuggestionthattheyshouldspendtheafternoontogether,butasherplanunfoldeditselfhefeltfairlyconfidentofbeingincludedinit。Thehousewasemptywhenatlengthheheardhersteponthestairandstrolledoutofthebilliard-roomtojoinher。

Shehadonahatandwalking-dress,andthedogswereboundingatherfeet。

"Ithought,afterall,theairmightdomegood,"sheexplained;

andheagreedthatsosimplearemedywasworthtrying。

Theexcursionistswouldbegoneatleastfourhours;LilyandSeldenhadthewholeafternoonbeforethem,andthesenseofleisureandsafetygavethelasttouchoflightnesstoherspirit。Withsomuchtimetotalk,andnodefiniteobjecttobeledupto,shecouldtastetherarejoysofmentalvagrancy。

Shefeltsofreefromulteriormotivesthatshetookuphischargewithatouchofresentment。

"Idon’tknow,"shesaid,"whyyouarealwaysaccusingmeofpremeditation。"

"Ithoughtyouconfessedtoit:youtoldmetheotherdaythatyouhadtofollowacertainline——andifonedoesathingatallitisamerittodoitthoroughly。"

"Ifyoumeanthatagirlwhohasnoonetothinkforherisobligedtothinkforherself,Iamquitewillingtoaccepttheimputation。ButyoumustfindmeadismalkindofpersonifyousupposethatIneveryieldtoanimpulse。"

"Ah,butIdon’tsupposethat:haven’tItoldyouthatyourgeniusliesinconvertingimpulsesintointentions?"

"Mygenius?"sheechoedwithasuddennoteofweariness。"Isthereanyfinaltestofgeniusbutsuccess?AndIcertainlyhaven’tsucceeded。"

Seldenpushedhishatbackandtookaside-glanceather。

"Success——whatissuccess?Ishallbeinterestedtohaveyourdefinition。"

"Success?"Shehesitated。"Why,togetasmuchasonecanoutoflife,Isuppose。It’sarelativequality,afterall。Isn’tthatyourideaofit?"

"Myideaofit?Godforbid!"Hesatupwithsuddenenergy,restinghiselbowsonhiskneesandstaringoutuponthemellowfields。"Myideaofsuccess,"hesaid,"ispersonalfreedom。"

"Freedom?Freedomfromworries?"

"Fromeverything——frommoney,frompoverty,fromeaseandanxiety,fromallthematerialaccidents。Tokeepakindofrepublicofthespirit——that’swhatIcallsuccess。"

Sheleanedforwardwitharesponsiveflash。"Iknow——Iknow——it’sstrange;butthat’sjustwhatI’vebeenfeelingtoday。"

Hemethereyeswiththelatentsweetnessofhis。"Isthefeelingsorarewithyou?"hesaid。

Sheblushedalittleunderhisgaze。"Youthinkmehorriblysordid,don’tyou?Butperhapsit’sratherthatIneverhadanychoice。Therewasnoone,Imean,totellmeabouttherepublicofthespirit。"

"Thereneveris——it’sacountryonehastofindthewaytoone’sself。"

"ButIshouldneverhavefoundmywaythereifyouhadn’ttoldme。"

"Ah,therearesign-posts——butonehastoknowhowtoreadthem。"

"Well,Ihaveknown,Ihaveknown!"shecriedwithaglowofeagerness。"WheneverIseeyou,Ifindmyselfspellingoutaletterofthesign——andyesterday——lasteveningatdinner——I

suddenlysawalittlewayintoyourrepublic。"

Seldenwasstilllookingather,butwithachangedeye。Hithertohehadfound,inherpresenceandhertalk,theaestheticamusementwhichareflectivemanisapttoseekindesultoryintercoursewithprettywomen。Hisattitudehadbeenoneofadmiringspectatorship,andhewouldhavebeenalmostsorrytodetectinheranyemotionalweaknesswhichshouldinterferewiththefulfilmentofheraims。Butnowthehintofthisweaknesshadbecomethemostinterestingthingabouther。Hehadcomeonherthatmorninginamomentofdisarray;herfacehadbeenpaleandaltered,andthediminutionofherbeautyhadlentherapoignantcharm。THATISHOWSHELOOKSWHENSHEISALONE!hadbeenhisfirstthought;andthesecondwastonoteinherthechangewhichhiscomingproduced。Itwasthedanger-pointoftheirintercoursethathecouldnotdoubtthespontaneityofherliking。Fromwhateverangleheviewedtheirdawningintimacy,hecouldnotseeitaspartofherschemeoflife;andtobetheunforeseenelementinacareersoaccuratelyplannedwasstimulatingeventoamanwhohadrenouncedsentimentalexperiments。

"Well,"hesaid,"diditmakeyouwanttoseemore?Areyougoingtobecomeoneofus?"

Hehaddrawnouthiscigarettesashespoke,andshereachedherhandtowardthecase。

"Oh,dogivemeone——Ihaven’tsmokedfordays!"

"Whysuchunnaturalabstinence?EverybodysmokesatBellomont。"

"Yes——butitisnotconsideredbecominginaJEUNEFILLEA

MARIER;andatthepresentmomentIamaJEUNEFILLEAMARIER。

"Ah,thenI’mafraidwecan’tletyouintotherepublic。"

"Whynot?Isitacelibateorder?"

"Notintheleast,thoughI’mboundtosaytherearenotmanymarriedpeopleinit。Butyouwillmarrysomeoneveryrich,andit’sashardforrichpeopletogetintoasthekingdomofheaven。"

"That’sunjust,Ithink,because,asIunderstandit,oneoftheconditionsofcitizenshipisnottothinktoomuchaboutmoney,andtheonlywaynottothinkaboutmoneyistohaveagreatdealofit。"

"Youmightaswellsaythattheonlywaynottothinkaboutairistohaveenoughtobreathe。Thatistrueenoughinasense;butyourlungsarethinkingabouttheair,ifyouarenot。Andsoitiswithyourrichpeople——theymaynotbethinkingofmoney,butthey’rebreathingitallthewhile;takethemintoanotherelementandseehowtheysquirmandgasp!"

Lilysatgazingabsentlythroughtheblueringsofhercigarette-smoke。

"Itseemstome,"shesaidatlength,"thatyouspendagooddealofyourtimeintheelementyoudisapproveof。"

Seldenreceivedthisthrustwithoutdiscomposure。"Yes;butI

havetriedtoremainamphibious:it’sallrightaslongasone’slungscanworkinanotherair。Therealalchemyconsistsinbeingabletoturngoldbackagainintosomethingelse;andthat’sthesecretthatmostofyourfriendshavelost。"

Lilymused。"Don’tyouthink,"sherejoinedafteramoment,"thatthepeoplewhofindfaultwithsocietyaretooapttoregarditasanendandnotameans,justasthepeoplewhodespisemoneyspeakasifitsonlyuseweretobekeptinbagsandgloatedover?Isn’titfairertolookatthembothasopportunities,whichmaybeusedeitherstupidlyorintelligently,accordingtothecapacityoftheuser?"

"Thatiscertainlythesaneview;butthequeerthingaboutsocietyisthatthepeoplewhoregarditasanendarethosewhoareinit,andnotthecriticsonthefence。It’sjusttheotherwaywithmostshows——theaudiencemaybeundertheillusion,buttheactorsknowthatreallifeisontheothersideofthefootlights。Thepeoplewhotakesocietyasanescapefromworkareputtingittoitsproperuse;butwhenitbecomesthethingworkedforitdistortsalltherelationsoflife。"Seldenraisedhimselfonhiselbow。"Goodheavens!"hewenton,"Idon’tunderratethedecorativesideoflife。Itseemstomethesenseofsplendourhasjustifieditselfbywhatithasproduced。Theworstofitisthatsomuchhumannatureisusedupintheprocess。Ifwe’realltherawstuffofthecosmiceffects,onewouldratherbethefirethattempersaswordthanthefishthatdyesapurplecloak。Andasocietylikeourswastessuchgoodmaterialinproducingitslittlepatchofpurple!LookataboylikeNedSilverton——he’sreallytoogoodtobeusedtorefurbishanybody’ssocialshabbiness。There’saladjustsettingouttodiscovertheuniverse:isn’titapityheshouldendbyfindingitinMrs。Fisher’sdrawing-room?"

"Nedisadearboy,andIhopehewillkeephisillusionslongenoughtowritesomenicepoetryaboutthem;butdoyouthinkitisonlyinsocietythatheislikelytolosethem?"

Seldenansweredherwithashrug。"Whydowecallallourgenerousideasillusions,andthemeanonestruths?Isn’titasufficientcondemnationofsocietytofindone’sselfacceptingsuchphraseology?IverynearlyacquiredthejargonatSilverton’sage,andIknowhownamescanalterthecolourofbeliefs。"

Shehadneverheardhimspeakwithsuchenergyofaffirmation。

Hishabitualtouchwasthatoftheeclectic,wholightlyturnsoverandcompares;andshewasmovedbythissuddenglimpseintothelaboratorywherehisfaithswereformed。

"Ah,youareasbadastheothersectarians,"sheexclaimed;

"whydoyoucallyourrepublicarepublic?Itisaclosedcorporation,andyoucreatearbitraryobjectionsinordertokeeppeopleout。"

"ItisnotMYrepublic;ifitwere,IshouldhaveaCOUPD’ETAT

andseatyouonthethrone。"

"Whereas,inreality,youthinkIcanneverevengetmyfootacrossthethreshold?Oh,Iunderstandwhatyoumean。Youdespisemyambitions——youthinkthemunworthyofme!"

Seldensmiled,butnotironically。"Well,isn’tthatatribute?I

thinkthemquiteworthyofmostofthepeoplewholivebythem。"

Shehadturnedtogazeonhimgravely。"Butisn’titpossiblethat,ifIhadtheopportunitiesofthesepeople,Imightmakeabetteruseofthem?Moneystandsforallkindsofthings——itspurchasingqualityisn’tlimitedtodiamondsandmotor-cars。"

"Notintheleast:youmightexpiateyourenjoymentofthembyfoundingahospital。"

"ButifyouthinktheyarewhatIshouldreallyenjoy,youmustthinkmyambitionsaregoodenoughforme。"

Seldenmetthisappealwithalaugh。"Ah,mydearMissBart,IamnotdivineProvidence,toguaranteeyourenjoyingthethingsyouaretryingtoget!"

"Thenthebestyoucansayformeis,thatafterstrugglingtogetthemIprobablyshan’tlikethem?"Shedrewadeepbreath。

"Whatamiserablefutureyouforeseeforme!"

"Well——haveyouneverforeseenitforyourself?"Theslowcolourrosetohercheek,notablushofexcitementbutdrawnfromthedeepwellsoffeeling;itwasasiftheeffortofherspirithadproducedit。

"Oftenandoften,"shesaid。"Butitlookssomuchdarkerwhenyoushowittome!"

Hemadenoanswertothisexclamation,andforawhiletheysatsilent,whilesomethingthrobbedbetweentheminthewidequietoftheair。

Butsuddenlysheturnedonhimwithakindofvehemence。"Whydoyoudothistome?"shecried。"WhydoyoumakethethingsIhavechosenseemhatefultome,ifyouhavenothingtogivemeinstead?"

ThewordsrousedSeldenfromthemusingfitintowhichhehadfallen。Hehimselfdidnotknowwhyhehadledtheirtalkalongsuchlines;itwasthelastusehewouldhaveimaginedhimselfmakingofanafternoon’ssolitudewithMissBart。Butitwasoneofthosemomentswhenneitherseemedtospeakdeliberately,whenanindwellingvoiceineachcalledtotheotheracrossunsoundeddepthsoffeeling。

"No,Ihavenothingtogiveyouinstead,"hesaid,sittingupandturningsothathefacedher。"IfIhad,itshouldbeyours,youknow。"

Shereceivedthisabruptdeclarationinawayevenstrangerthanthemannerofitsmaking:shedroppedherfaceonherhandsandhesawthatforamomentshewept。

Itwasforamomentonly,however;forwhenheleanedneareranddrewdownherhandswithagesturelesspassionatethangrave,sheturnedonhimafacesoftenedbutnotdisfiguredbyemotion,andhesaidtohimself,somewhatcruelly,thatevenherweepingwasanart。

Thereflectionsteadiedhisvoiceasheasked,betweenpityandirony:"Isn’titnaturalthatIshouldtrytobelittleallthethingsIcan’tofferyou?"

Herfacebrightenedatthis,butshedrewherhandaway,notwithagestureofcoquetry,butasthoughrenouncingsomethingtowhichshehadnoclaim。

"ButyoubelittleME,don’tyou,"shereturnedgently,"inbeingsosuretheyaretheonlythingsIcarefor?"

Seldenfeltaninnerstart;butitwasonlythelastquiverofhisegoism。Almostatonceheansweredquitesimply:"Butyoudocareforthem,don’tyou?Andnowishingofminecanalterthat。"

Hehadsocompletelyceasedtoconsiderhowfarthismightcarryhim,thathehadadistinctsenseofdisappointmentwhensheturnedonhimafacesparklingwithderision。

"Ah,"shecried,"forallyourfinephrasesyou’rereallyasgreatacowardasIam,foryouwouldn’thavemadeoneofthemifyouhadn’tbeensosureofmyanswer。"

TheshockofthisretorthadtheeffectofcrystallizingSelden’swaveringintentions。

"Iamnotsosureofyouranswer,"hesaidquietly。"AndIdoyouthejusticetobelievethatyouarenoteither。"

Itwasherturntolookathimwithsurprise;andafteramoment——"Doyouwanttomarryme?"sheasked。

Hebrokeintoalaugh。"No,Idon’twantto——butperhapsIshouldifyoudid!"

"That’swhatItoldyou——you’resosureofmethatyoucanamuseyourselfwithexperiments。"Shedrewbackthehandhehadregained,andsatlookingdownonhimsadly。

"Iamnotmakingexperiments,"hereturned。"OrifIam,itisnotonyoubutonmyself。Idon’tknowwhateffecttheyaregoingtohaveonme——butifmarryingyouisoneofthem,Iwilltaketherisk。"

Shesmiledfaintly。"Itwouldbeagreatrisk,certainly——Ihaveneverconcealedfromyouhowgreat。"

"Ah,it’syouwhoarethecoward!"heexclaimed。

Shehadrisen,andhestoodfacingherwithhiseyesonhers。Thesoftisolationofthefallingdayenvelopedthem:theyseemedliftedintoafinerair。Alltheexquisiteinfluencesofthehourtrembledintheirveins,anddrewthemtoeachotherastheloosenedleavesweredrawntotheearth。

"It’syouwhoarethecoward,"herepeated,catchingherhandsinhis。

Sheleanedonhimforamoment,asifwithadropoftiredwings:

hefeltasthoughherheartwerebeatingratherwiththestressofalongflightthanthethrillofnewdistances。Then,drawingbackwithalittlesmileofwarning——"Ishalllookhideousindowdyclothes;butIcantrimmyownhats,"shedeclared。

Theystoodsilentforawhileafterthis,smilingateachotherlikeadventurouschildrenwhohaveclimbedtoaforbiddenheightfromwhichtheydiscoveranewworld。Theactualworldattheirfeetwasveilingitselfindimness,andacrossthevalleyaclearmoonroseinthedenserblue。

Suddenlytheyheardaremotesound,likethehumofagiantinsect,andfollowingthehigh-road,whichwoundwhiterthroughthesurroundingtwilight,ablackobjectrushedacrosstheirvision。

Lilystartedfromherattitudeofabsorption;hersmilefadedandshebegantomovetowardthelane。

"Ihadnoideaitwassolate!Weshallnotbebacktillafterdark,"shesaid,almostimpatiently。

Seldenwaslookingatherwithsurprise:ittookhimamomenttoregainhisusualviewofher;thenhesaid,withanuncontrollablenoteofdryness:"Thatwasnotoneofourparty;

themotorwasgoingtheotherway。"

"Iknow——Iknow——"Shepaused,andhesawherreddenthroughthetwilight。"ButItoldthemIwasnotwell——thatIshouldnotgoout。Letusgodown!"shemurmured。

Seldencontinuedtolookather;thenhedrewhiscigarette-casefromhispocketandslowlylitacigarette。Itseemedtohimnecessary,atthatmoment,toproclaim,bysomehabitualgestureofthissort,hisrecoveredholdontheactual:hehadanalmostpuerilewishtolethiscompanionseethat,theirflightover,hehadlandedonhisfeet。

Shewaitedwhilethesparkflickeredunderhiscurvedpalm;thenheheldoutthecigarettestoher。

Shetookonewithanunsteadyhand,andputtingittoherlips,leanedforwardtodrawherlightfromhis。Intheindistinctnessthelittleredgleamlitupthelowerpartofherface,andhesawhermouthtrembleintoasmile。

"Wereyouserious?"sheasked,withanoddthrillofgaietywhichshemighthavecaughtup,inhaste,fromaheapofstockinflections,withouthavingtimetoselectthejustnote。

Selden’svoicewasunderbettercontrol。"Whynot?"hereturned。

"YouseeItooknorisksinbeingso。"Andasshecontinuedtostandbeforehim,alittlepaleundertheretort,headdedquickly:"Letusgodown。"

ItspokemuchforthedepthofMrs。Trenor’sfriendshipthathervoice,inadmonishingMissBart,tookthesamenoteofpersonaldespairasifshehadbeenlamentingthecollapseofahouse-party。

"AllIcansayis,Lily,thatIcan’tmakeyouout!"Sheleanedback,sighing,inthemorningabandonoflaceandmuslin,turninganindifferentshouldertotheheaped-upimportunitiesofherdesk,whilesheconsidered,withtheeyeofaphysicianwhohasgivenupthecase,theerectexteriorofthepatientconfrontingher。

"Ifyouhadn’ttoldmeyouweregoinginforhimseriously——butI’msureyoumadethatplainenoughfromthebeginning!Whyelsedidyouaskmetoletyouoffbridge,andtokeepawayCarryandKateCorby?Idon’tsupposeyoudiditbecauseheamusedyou;wecouldnoneofusimagineyourputtingupwithhimforamomentunlessyoumeanttomarryhim。AndI’msureeverybodyplayedfair!Theyallwantedtohelpitalong。EvenBerthakeptherhandsoff——Iwillsaythat——tillLawrencecamedownandyoudraggedhimawayfromher。Afterthatshehadarighttoretaliate——whyonearthdidyouinterferewithher?You’veknownLawrenceSeldenforyears——whydidyoubehaveasifyouhadjustdiscoveredhim?IfyouhadagrudgeagainstBerthaitwasastupidtimetoshowit——youcouldhavepaidherbackjustaswellafteryouweremarried!ItoldyouBerthawasdangerous。Shewasinanodiousmoodwhenshecamehere,butLawrence’sturningupputherinagoodhumour,andifyou’donlyletherthinkhecameforHERitwouldhaveneveroccurredtohertoplayyouthistrick。Oh,Lily,you’llneverdoanythingifyou’renotserious!"

MissBartacceptedthisexhortationinaspiritofthepurestimpartiality。Whyshouldshehavebeenangry?ItwasthevoiceofherownconsciencewhichspoketoherthroughMrs。Trenor’sreproachfulaccents。Buteventoherownconscienceshemusttrumpupasemblanceofdefence。"Ionlytookadayoff——I

thoughthemeanttostayonallthisweek,andIknewMr。Seldenwasleavingthismorning。"

Mrs。Trenorbrushedasidethepleawithagesturewhichlaidbareitsweakness。

"Hedidmeantostay——that’stheworstofit。Itshowsthathe’srunawayfromyou;thatBertha’sdoneherworkandpoisonedhimthoroughly。"

Lilygaveaslightlaugh。"Oh,ifhe’srunningI’llovertakehim!"

Herfriendthrewoutanarrestinghand。"Whateveryoudo,Lily,donothing!"

MissBartreceivedthewarningwithasmile。"Idon’tmean,literally,totakethenexttrain。Thereareways——"Butshedidnotgoontospecifythem。

Mrs。Trenorsharplycorrectedthetense。"ThereWEREways——plentyofthem!Ididn’tsupposeyouneededtohavethempointedout。

Butdon’tdeceiveyourself——he’sthoroughlyfrightened。Hehasrunstraighthometohismother,andshe’llprotecthim!"

"Oh,tothedeath,"Lilyagreed,dimplingatthevision。

"HowyoucanLAUGH——"herfriendrebukedher;andshedroppedbacktoasobererperceptionofthingswiththequestion:"WhatwasitBerthareallytoldhim?"

"Don’taskme——horrors!Sheseemedtohaverakedupeverything。

Oh,youknowwhatImean——ofcoursethereisn’tanything,REALLY;

butIsupposeshebroughtinPrinceVarigliano——andLordHubert——andtherewassomestoryofyourhavingborrowedmoneyofoldNedVanAlstyne:didyouever?"

"Heismyfather’scousin,"MissBartinterposed。

"Well,ofcoursesheleftTHATout。ItseemsNedtoldCarryFisher;andshetoldBertha,naturally。They’reallalike,youknow:theyholdtheirtonguesforyears,andyouthinkyou’resafe,butwhentheiropportunitycomestheyremembereverything。"

Lilyhadgrownpale:hervoicehadaharshnoteinit。"ItwassomemoneyIlostatbridgeattheVanOsburghs’。Irepaidit,ofcourse。"

"Ah,well,theywouldn’trememberthat;besides,itwastheideaofthegamblingdebtthatfrightenedPercy。Oh,Berthaknewherman——sheknewjustwhattotellhim!"

InthisstrainMrs。Trenorcontinuedfornearlyanhourtoadmonishherfriend。MissBartlistenedwithadmirableequanimity。Hernaturallygoodtemperhadbeendisciplinedbyyearsofenforcedcompliance,sinceshehadalmostalwayshadtoattainherendsbythecircuitouspathofotherpeople’s;and,beingnaturallyinclinedtofaceunpleasantfactsassoonastheypresentedthemselves,shewasnotsorrytohearanimpartialstatementofwhatherfollywaslikelytocost,themoresoasherownthoughtswerestillinsistingontheothersideofthecase。PresentedinthelightofMrs。Trenor’svigorouscomments,thereckoningwascertainlyaformidableone,andLily,asshelistened,foundherselfgraduallyrevertingtoherfriend’sviewofthesituation。Mrs。Trenor’swordsweremoreoveremphasizedforherhearerbyanxietieswhichsheherselfcouldscarcelyguess。Affluence,unlessstimulatedbyakeenimagination,formsbutthevaguestnotionofthepracticalstrainofpoverty。Judyknewitmustbe"horrid"forpoorLilytohavetostoptoconsiderwhethershecouldaffordreallaceonherpetticoats,andnottohaveamotor-carandasteam-yachtatherorders;butthedailyfrictionofunpaidbills,thedailynibbleofsmalltemptationstoexpenditure,weretrialsasfaroutofherexperienceasthedomesticproblemsofthechar-woman。Mrs。

Trenor’sunconsciousnessoftherealstressofthesituationhadtheeffectofmakingitmoregallingtoLily。Whileherfriendreproachedherformissingtheopportunitytoeclipseherrivals,shewasoncemorebattlinginimaginationwiththemountingtideofindebtednessfromwhichshehadsonearlyescaped。Whatwindoffollyhaddrivenheroutagainonthosedarkseas?

Ifanythingwasneededtoputthelasttouchtoherself-abasementitwasthesenseofthewayheroldlifewasopeningitsrutsagaintoreceiveher。Yesterdayherfancyhadflutteredfreepinionsaboveachoiceofoccupations;nowshehadtodroptothelevelofthefamiliarroutine,inwhichmomentsofseemingbrilliancyandfreedomalternatedwithlonghoursofsubjection。

Shelaidadeprecatinghandonherfriend’s。"DearJudy!I’msorrytohavebeensuchabore,andyouareverygoodtome。Butyoumusthavesomelettersformetoanswer——letmeatleastbeuseful。"

Shesettledherselfatthedesk,andMrs。Trenoracceptedherresumptionofthemorning’staskwithasighwhichimpliedthat,afterall,shehadprovedherselfunfitforhigheruses。

Theluncheontableshowedadepletedcircle。ALIthemenbutJackStepneyandDorsethadreturnedtotown(itseemedtoLilyalasttouchofironythatSeldenandPercyGryceshouldhavegoneinthesametrain),andLadyCressidaandtheattendantWetherallshadbeendespatchedbymotortolunchatadistantcountry-house。

AtsuchmomentsofdiminishedinterestitwasusualforMrs。

Dorsettokeepherroomtilltheafternoon;butonthisoccasionshedriftedinwhenluncheonwashalfover,hollowed-eyedanddrooping,butwithanedgeofmaliceunderherindifference。

Sheraisedhereyebrowsasshelookedaboutthetable。"Howfewofusareleft!Idosoenjoythequiet——don’tyou,Lily?Iwishthemenwouldalwaysstopaway——it’sreallymuchnicerwithoutthem。Oh,youdon’tcount,George:onedoesn’thavetotalktoone’shusband。ButIthoughtMr。Grycewastostayfortherestoftheweek?"sheaddedenquiringly。"Didn’theintendto,Judy?

He’ssuchaniceboy——Iwonderwhatdrovehimaway?Heisrathershy,andI’mafraidwemayhaveshockedhim:hehasbeenbroughtupinsuchanold-fashionedway。Doyouknow,Lily,hetoldmehehadneverseenagirlplaycardsformoneytillhesawyoudoingittheothernight?Andhelivesontheinterestofhisincome,andalwayshasalotleftovertoinvest!"

Mrs。Fisherleanedforwardeagerly。"Idobelieveitissomeone’sdutytoeducatethatyoungman。Itisshockingthathehasneverbeenmadetorealizehisdutiesasacitizen。Everywealthymanshouldbecompelledtostudythelawsofhiscountry。"

Mrs。Dorsetglancedatherquietly。"IthinkheHASstudiedthedivorcelaws。HetoldmehehadpromisedtheBishoptosignsomekindofapetitionagainstdivorce。"

Mrs。Fisherreddenedunderherpowder,andStepneysaidwithalaughingglanceatMissBart:"Isupposeheisthinkingofmarriage,andwantstotinkeruptheoldshipbeforehegoesaboard。"

Hisbetrothedlookedshockedatthemetaphor,andGeorgeDorsetexclaimedwithasardonicgrowl:"Poordevil!Itisn’ttheshipthatwilldoforhim,it’sthecrew。"

"Orthestowaways,"saidMissCorbybrightly。"IfIcontemplatedavoyagewithhimIshouldtrytostartwithafriendinthehold。"

MissVanOsburgh’svaguefeelingofpiquewasstrugglingforappropriateexpression。"I’msureIdon’tseewhyyoulaughathim;Ithinkhe’sverynice,"sheexclaimed;"and,atanyrate,agirlwhomarriedhimwouldalwayshaveenoughtobecomfortable。"

Shelookedpuzzledattheredoubledlaughterwhichhailedherwords,butitmighthaveconsoledhertoknowhowdeeplytheyhadsunkintothebreastofoneofherhearers。

Comfortable!AtthatmomentthewordwasmoreeloquenttoLilyBartthananyotherinthelanguage。Shecouldnotevenpausetosmileovertheheiress’sviewofacolossalfortuneasamereshelteragainstwant:hermindwasfilledwiththevisionofwhatthatsheltermighthavebeentoher。Mrs。Dorset’spin-pricksdidnotsmart,forherownironycutdeeper:noonecouldhurtherasmuchasshewashurtingherself,fornooneelse——notevenJudyTrenor——knewthefullmagnitudeofherfolly。

Shewasrousedfromtheseunprofitableconsiderationsbyawhisperedrequestfromherhostess,whodrewherapartastheylefttheluncheon-table。

"Lily,dear,ifyou’venothingspecialtodo,mayItellCarryFisherthatyouintendtodrivetothestationandfetchGus?Hewillbebackatfour,andIknowshehasitinhermindtomeethim。OfcourseI’mverygladtohavehimamused,butIhappentoknowthatshehasbledhimratherseverelysinceshe’sbeenhere,andsheissokeenaboutgoingtofetchhimthatIfancyshemusthavegotalotmorebillsthismorning。Itseemstome,"Mrs。

Trenorfeelinglyconcluded,"thatmostofheralimonyispaidbyotherwomen’shusbands!"

MissBart,onherwaytothestation,hadleisuretomuseoverherfriend’swords,andtheirpeculiarapplicationtoherself。

Whyshouldshehavetosufferforhavingonce,forafewhours,borrowedmoneyofanelderlycousin,whenawomanlikeCarryFishercouldmakealivingunrebukedfromthegood-natureofhermenfriendsandthetoleranceoftheirwives?Itallturnedonthetiresomedistinctionbetweenwhatamarriedwomanmight,andagirlmightnot,do。Ofcourseitwasshockingforamarriedwomantoborrowmoney——andLilywasexpertlyawareoftheimplicationinvolved——butstill,itwasthemereMALUMPROHIBITUM

whichtheworlddecriesbutcondones,andwhich,thoughitmaybepunishedbyprivatevengeance,doesnotprovokethecollectivedisapprobationofsociety。ToMissBart,inshort,nosuchopportunitieswerepossible。Shecouldofcourseborrowfromherwomenfriends——ahundredhereorthere,attheutmost——buttheyweremorereadytogiveagownoratrinket,andlookedalittleaskancewhenshehintedherpreferenceforacheque。Womenarenotgenerouslenders,andthoseamongwhomherlotwascastwereeitherinthesamecaseasherself,orelsetoofarremovedfromittounderstanditsnecessities。TheresultofhermeditationswasthedecisiontojoinherauntatRichfield。ShecouldnotremainatBellomontwithoutplayingbridge,andbeinginvolvedinotherexpenses;andtocontinueherusualseriesofautumnvisitswouldmerelyprolongthesamedifficulties。Shehadreachedapointwhereabruptretrenchmentwasnecessary,andtheonlycheaplifewasadulllife。ShewouldstartthenextmorningforRichfield。

AtthestationshethoughtGusTrenorseemedsurprised,andnotwhollyunrelieved,toseeher。Sheyieldedupthereinsofthelightrunaboutinwhichshehaddrivenover,andasheclimbedheavilytoherside,crushingherintoascantthirdoftheseat,hesaid:"Halloo!Itisn’toftenyouhonourme。Youmusthavebeenuncommonlyhardupforsomethingtodo。"

Theafternoonwaswarm,andpropinquitymadehermorethanusuallyconsciousthathewasredandmassive,andthatbeadsofmoisturehadcausedthedustofthetraintoadhereunpleasantlytothebroadexpanseofcheekandneckwhichheturnedtoher;

butshewasawarealso,fromthelookinhissmalldulleyes,thatthecontactwithherfreshnessandslendernesswasasagreeabletohimasthesightofacoolingbeverage。

Theperceptionofthisfacthelpedhertoanswergaily:"It’snotoftenIhavethechance。Therearetoomanyladiestodisputetheprivilegewithme。"

"Theprivilegeofdrivingmehome?Well,I’mgladyouwontherace,anyhow。ButIknowwhatreallyhappened——mywifesentyou。Nowdidn’tshe?"

Hehadthedullman’sunexpectedflashesofastuteness,andLilycouldnothelpjoininginthelaughwithwhichhehadpouncedonthetruth。

"Yousee,JudythinksI’mthesafestpersonforyoutobewith;

andshe’squiteright,"sherejoined。

"Oh,isshe,though?Ifsheis,it’sbecauseyouwouldn’twasteyourtimeonanoldhulklikeme。Wemarriedmenhavetoputupwithwhatwecanget:alltheprizesareforthecleverchapswho’vekeptafreefoot。Letmelightacigar,willyou?I’vehadabeastlydayofit。"

Hedrewupintheshadeofthevillagestreet,andpassedthereinstoherwhileheheldamatchtohiscigar。Thelittleflameunderhishandcastadeepercrimsononhispuffingface,andLilyavertedhereyeswithamomentaryfeelingofrepugnance。Andyetsomewomenthoughthimhandsome!

Asshehandedbackthereins,shesaidsympathetically:"Didyouhavesuchalotoftiresomethingstodo?"

"Ishouldsayso——rather!"Trenor,whowasseldomlistenedto,eitherbyhiswifeorherfriends,settleddownintotherareenjoymentofaconfidentialtalk。"Youdon’tknowhowafellowhastohustletokeepthiskindofthinggoing。"HewavedhiswhipinthedirectionoftheBellomontacres,whichlayoutspreadbeforetheminopulentundulations。"Judyhasnoideaofwhatshespends——notthatthereisn’tplentytokeepthethinggoing,"heinterruptedhimself,"butamanhasgottokeephiseyesopenandpickupallthetipshecan。Myfatherandmotherusedtolivelikefighting-cocksontheirincome,andputbyagoodbitofittoo——luckilyforme——butatthepacewegonow,Idon’tknowwhereIshouldbeifitweren’tfortakingaflyernowandthen。

Thewomenallthink——ImeanJudythinks——I’venothingtodobuttogodowntownonceamonthandcutoffcoupons,butthetruthisittakesadevilishlotofhardworktokeepthemachineryrunning。NotthatIoughttocomplainto-day,though,"hewentonafteramoment,"forIdidaveryneatstrokeofbusiness,thankstoStepney’sfriendRosedale:bytheway,MissLily,Iwishyou’dtrytopersuadeJudytobedecentlyciviltothatchap。He’sgoingtoberichenoughtobuyusalloutoneofthesedays,andifshe’donlyaskhimtodinenowandthenIcouldgetalmostanythingoutofhim。Themanismadtoknowthepeoplewhodon’twanttoknowhim,andwhenafellow’sinthatstatethereisnothinghewon’tdoforthefirstwomanwhotakeshimup。"

Lilyhesitatedamoment。Thefirstpartofhercompanion’sdiscoursehadstartedaninterestingtrainofthought,whichwasrudelyinterruptedbythementionofMr。Rosedale’sname。Sheutteredafaintprotest。

"ButyouknowJackdidtrytotakehimabout,andhewasimpossible。"

"Oh,hangit——becausehe’sfatandshiny,andhasasloppymanner!Well,allIcansayisthatthepeoplewhoarecleverenoughtobeciviltohimnowwillmakeamightygoodthingofit。Afewyearsfromnowhe’llbeinitwhetherwewanthimornot,andthenhewon’tbegivingawayahalf-a-milliontipforadinner。"

Lily’smindhadrevertedfromtheintrusivepersonalityofMr。

RosedaletothetrainofthoughtsetinmotionbyTrenor’sfirstwords。ThisvastmysteriousWallStreetworldof"tips"and"deals"——mightshenotfindinitthemeansofescapefromherdrearypredicament?Shehadoftenheardofwomenmakingmoneyinthiswaythroughtheirfriends:shehadnomorenotionthanmostofhersexoftheexactnatureofthetransaction,anditsvaguenessseemedtodiminishitsindelicacy。Shecouldnot,indeed,imagineherself,inanyextremity,stoopingtoextracta"tip"fromMr。Rosedale;butathersidewasamaninpossessionofthatpreciouscommodity,andwho,asthehusbandofherdearestfriend,stoodtoherinarelationofalmostfraternalintimacy。

InherinmostheartLilyknewitwasnotbyappealingtothefraternalinstinctthatshewaslikelytomoveGusTrenor;butthiswayofexplainingthesituationhelpedtodrapeitscrudity,andshewasalwaysscrupulousaboutkeepingupappearancestoherself。Herpersonalfastidiousnesshadamoralequivalent,andwhenshemadeatourofinspectioninherownmindtherewerecertaincloseddoorsshedidnotopen。

AstheyreachedthegatesofBellomontsheturnedtoTrenorwithasmile。"Theafternoonissoperfect——don’tyouwanttodriveme<p85>alittlefarther?I’vebeenratheroutofspiritsallday,andit’ssorestfultobeawayfrompeople,withsomeonewhowon’tmindifI’malittledull。"

Shelookedsoplaintivelylovelyassheprofferedtherequest,sotrustfullysureofhissympathyandunderstanding,thatTrenorfelthimselfwishingthathiswifecouldseehowotherwomentreatedhim——notbatteredwire-pullerslikeMrs。Fisher,butagirlthatmostmenwouldhavegiventheirbootstogetsuchalookfrom。

"Outofspirits?Whyonearthshouldyoueverbeoutofspirits?

IsyourlastboxofDoucetdressesafailure,ordidJudyrookyououtofeverythingatbridgelastnight?"

Lilyshookherheadwithasigh。"IhavehadtogiveupDoucet;

andbridgetoo——Ican’taffordit。InfactIcan’taffordanyofthethingsmyfriendsdo,andIamafraidJudyoftenthinksmeaborebecauseIdon’tplaycardsanylonger,andbecauseIamnotassmartlydressedastheotherwomen。ButyouwillthinkmeaboretooifItalktoyouaboutmyworries,andIonlymentionthembecauseIwantyoutodomeafavour——theverygreatestoffavours。"

Hereyessoughthisoncemore,andshesmiledinwardlyatthetingeofapprehensionthatshereadinthem。

"Why,ofcourse——ifit’sanythingIcanmanage——"Hebrokeoff,andsheguessedthathisenjoymentwasdisturbedbytheremembranceofMrs。Fisher’smethods。

"Thegreatestoffavours,"sherejoinedgently。"Thefactis,Judyisangrywithme,andIwantyoutomakemypeace。"

"Angrywithyou?Oh,come,nonsense——"hisreliefbrokethroughinalaugh。"Why,youknowshe’sdevotedtoyou。"

"SheisthebestfriendIhave,andthatiswhyImindhavingtovexher。ButIdaresayyouknowwhatshehaswantedmetodo。Shehassetherheart——poordear——onmymarrying——marryingagreatdealofmoney。"

Shepausedwithaslightfalterofembarrassment,andTrenor,turningabruptly,fixedonheralookofgrowingintelligence。

"Agreatdealofmoney?Oh,byJove——youdon’tmeanGryce?

What——youdo?Oh,no,ofcourseIwon’tmentionit——youcantrustmetokeepmymouthshut——butGryce——<p86>goodLord,GRYCE!DidJudyreallythinkyoucouldbringyourselftomarrythatportentouslittleass?Butyoucouldn’t,eh?Andsoyougavehimthesack,andthat’sthereasonwhyhelitoutbythefirsttrainthismorning?"Heleanedback,spreadinghimselffartheracrosstheseat,asifdilatedbythejoyfulsenseofhisowndiscernment。"HowonearthcouldJudythinkyouwoulddosuchathing?Icouldhavetoldheryou’dneverputupwithsuchalittlemilksop!"

Lilysighedmoredeeply。"Isometimesthink,"shemurmured,"thatmenunderstandawoman’smotivesbetterthanotherwomendo。"

"Somemen——I’mcertainofit!IcouldhaveTOLDJudy,"herepeated,exultingintheimpliedsuperiorityoverhiswife。

"Ithoughtyouwouldunderstand;that’swhyIwantedtospeaktoyou,"MissBartrejoined。"Ican’tmakethatkindofmarriage;

it’simpossible。ButneithercanIgoonlivingasallthewomeninmysetdo。Iamalmostentirelydependentonmyaunt,andthoughsheisverykindtomeshemakesmenoregularallowance,andlatelyI’velostmoneyatcards,andIdon’tdaretellheraboutit。Ihavepaidmycarddebts,ofcourse,butthereishardlyanythingleftformyotherexpenses,andifIgoonwithmypresentlifeIshallbeinhorribledifficulties。Ihaveatinyincomeofmyown,butI’mafraidit’sbadlyinvested,foritseemstobringinlesseveryyear,andIamsoignorantofmoneymattersthatIdon’tknowifmyaunt’sagent,wholooksafterit,isagoodadviser。"Shepausedamoment,andaddedinalightertone:"Ididn’tmeantoboreyouwithallthis,butIwantyourhelpinmakingJudyunderstandthatIcan’t,atpresent,goonlivingasonemustliveamongyouall。IamgoingawaytomorrowtojoinmyauntatRichfield,andIshallstaytherefortherestoftheautumn,anddismissmymaidandlearnhowtomendmyownclothes。"

Atthispictureoflovelinessindistress,thepathosofwhichwasheightenedbythelighttouchwithwhichitwasdrawn,amurmurofindignantsympathybrokefromTrenor。Twenty-fourhoursearlier,ifhiswifehadconsultedhimonthesubjectofMissBart’sfuture,hewouldhavesaidthatagirlwithextravaganttastesandnomoneyhadbettermarrythefirstrichmanshecouldget;butwiththesubjectofdis<p87>cussionathisside,turningtohimforsympathy,makinghimfeelthatheunderstoodherbetterthanherdearestfriends,andconfirmingtheassurancebytheappealofherexquisitenearness,hewasreadytoswearthatsuchamarriagewasadesecration,andthat,asamanofhonour,hewasboundtodoallhecouldtoprotectherfromtheresultsofherdisinterestedness。ThisimpulsewasreinforcedbythereflectionthatifshehadmarriedGryceshewouldhavebeensurroundedbyflatteryandapproval,whereas,havingrefusedtosacrificeherselftoexpediency,shewaslefttobearthewholecostofherresistance。Hangit,ifhecouldfindawayoutofsuchdifficultiesforaprofessionalspongelikeCarryFisher,whowassimplyamentalhabitcorrespondingtothephysicaltitillationsofthecigaretteorthecock-tail,hecouldsurelydoasmuchforagirlwhoappealedtohishighestsympathies,andwhobroughthertroublestohimwiththetrustfulnessofachild。

TrenorandMissBartprolongedtheirdrivetilllongaftersunset;andbeforeitwasoverhehadtried,withsomeshowofsuccess,toprovetoherthat,ifshewouldonlytrusthim,hecouldmakeahandsomesumofmoneyforherwithoutendangeringthesmallamountshepossessed。Shewastoogenuinelyignorantofthemanipulationsofthestock-markettounderstandhistechnicalexplanations,orevenperhapstoperceivethatcertainpointsinthemwereslurred;thehazinessenvelopingthetransactionservedasaveilforherembarrassment,andthroughthegeneralblurherhopesdilatedlikelampsinafog。Sheunderstoodonlythathermodestinvestmentsweretobemysteriouslymultipliedwithoutrisktoherself;andtheassurancethatthismiraclewouldtakeplacewithinashorttime,thattherewouldbenotediousintervalforsuspenseandreaction,relievedherofherlingeringscruples。

Againshefeltthelighteningofherload,andwithitthereleaseofrepressedactivities。Herimmediateworriesconjured,itwaseasytoresolvethatshewouldneveragainfindherselfinsuchstraits,andastheneedofeconomyandself-denialrecededfromherforegroundshefeltherselfreadytomeetanyotherdemandwhichlifemightmake。EventheimmediateoneoflettingTrenor,astheydrovehomeward,leanalittlenearerandresthishandreassuringlyonhers,costheronlyamomentaryshiverofreluctance。Itwaspartofthegametomakehimfeelthatherappealhadbeenanuncalculatedimpulse,provokedbythelikingheinspired;andtherenewedsenseofpowerinhandlingmen,whileitconsoledherwoundedvanity,helpedalsotoobscurethethoughtoftheclaimatwhichhismannerhinted。Hewasacoarsedullmanwho,underallhisshowofauthority,wasameresupernumeraryinthecostlyshowforwhichhismoneypaid:

surely,toaclevergirl,itwouldbeeasytoholdhimbyhisvanity,andsokeeptheobligationonhisside。

ThefirstthousanddollarchequewhichLilyreceivedwithablottedscrawlfromGusTrenorstrengthenedherself-confidenceintheexactdegreetowhichiteffacedherdebts。

Thetransactionhadjustifieditselfbyitsresults:shesawnowhowabsurditwouldhavebeentoletanyprimitivescrupledepriveherofthiseasymeansofappeasinghercreditors。Lilyfeltreallyvirtuousasshedispensedthesuminsopstohertradesmen,andthefactthatafreshorderaccompaniedeachpaymentdidnotlessenhersenseofdisinterestedness。Howmanywomen,inherplace,wouldhavegiventheorderswithoutmakingthepayment!

ShehadfounditreassuringlyeasytokeepTrenorinagoodhumour。Tolistentohisstories,toreceivehisconfidencesandlaughathisjokes,seemedforthemomentallthatwasrequiredofher,andthecomplacencywithwhichherhostessregardedtheseattentionsfreedthemoftheleasthintofambiguity。Mrs。TrenorevidentlyassumedthatLily’sgrowingintimacywithherhusbandwassimplyanindirectwayofreturningherownkindness。

"I’msogladyouandGushavebecomesuchgoodfriends,"shesaidapprovingly。"It’stoodelightfulofyoutobesonicetohim,andputupwithallhistiresomestories。Iknowwhattheyare,becauseIhadtolistentothemwhenwewereengaged——I’msureheistellingthesameonesstill。AndnowIshan’talwayshavetobeaskingCarryFisherheretokeephiminagood-humour。She’saperfectvulture,youknow;andshehasn’ttheleastmoralsense。

SheisalwaysgettingGustospeculateforher,andI’msuresheneverpayswhensheloses。"

MissBartcouldshudderatthisstateofthingswithouttheembarrassmentofapersonalapplication。Herownpositionwassurelyquitedifferent。Therecouldbenoquestionofhernotpayingwhenshelost,sinceTrenorhadassuredherthatshewascertainnottolose。InsendingherthechequehehadexplainedthathehadmadefivethousandforheroutofRosedale’s"tip,"

andhadputfourthousandbackinthesameventure,astherewasthepromiseofanother"bigrise";sheunderstoodthereforethathewasnowspeculatingwithherownmoney,andthatsheconsequentlyowedhimnomorethanthegratitudewhichsuchatriflingservicedemanded。Shevaguelysupposedthat,toraisethefirstsum,hehadborrowedonhersecurities;butthiswasapointoverwhichhercuriositydidnotlinger。Itwasconcentrated,forthemoment,ontheprobabledateofthenext"bigrise。"

Thenewsofthiseventwasreceivedbyhersomeweekslater,ontheoccasionofJackStepney’smarriagetoMissVanOsburgh。Asacousinofthebridegroom,MissBarthadbeenaskedtoactasbridesmaid;butshehaddeclinedonthepleathat,sinceshewasmuchtallerthantheotherattendantvirgins,herpresencemightmarthesymmetryofthegroup。Thetruthwas,shehadattendedtoomanybridestothealtar:whennextseenthereshemeanttobethechieffigureintheceremony。Sheknewthepleasantriesmadeattheexpenseofyounggirlswhohavebeentoolongbeforethepublic,andshewasresolvedtoavoidsuchassumptionsofyouthfulnessasmightleadpeopletothinkherolderthanshereallywas。

TheVanOsburghmarriagewascelebratedinthevillagechurchnearthepaternalestateontheHudson。Itwasthe"simplecountrywedding"towhichguestsareconvoyedinspecialtrains,andfromwhichthehordesoftheuninvitedhavetobefendedoffbytheinterventionofthepolice。Whilethesesylvanritesweretakingplace,inachurchpackedwithfashionandfestoonedwithorchids,therepresentativesofthepresswerethreadingtheirway,note-bookinhand,throughthelabyrinthofweddingpresents,andtheagentofacinematographsyndicatewassettinguphisapparatusatthechurchdoor。ItwasthekindofsceneinwhichLilyhadoftenpicturedherselfastakingtheprincipalpart,andonthisoccasionthefactthatshewasoncemoremerelyacasualspectator,insteadofthemysticallyveiledfigureoccupyingthecentreofattention,strengthenedherresolvetoassumethelatterpartbeforetheyearwasover。Thefactthatherimmediateanxietieswererelieveddidnotblindhertoapossibilityoftheirrecurrence;itmerelygaveherenoughbuoyancytoriseoncemoreaboveherdoubtsandfeelarenewedfaithinherbeauty,herpower,andhergeneralfitnesstoattractabrilliantdestiny。Itcouldnotbethatoneconsciousofsuchaptitudesformasteryandenjoymentwasdoomedtoaperpetuityoffailure;andhermistakeslookedeasilyreparableinthelightofherrestoredself-confidence。

Aspecialappositenesswasgiventothesereflectionsbythediscovery,inaneighbouringpew,oftheseriousprofileandneatly-trimmedbeardofMr。PercyGryce。Therewassomethingalmostbridalinhisownaspect:hislargewhitegardeniahadasymbolicairthatstruckLilyasagoodomen。Afterall,seeninanassemblageofhiskindhewasnotridiculous-looking:afriendlycriticmighthavecalledhisheavinessweighty,andhewasathisbestintheattitudeofvacantpassivitywhichbringsouttheodditiesoftherestless。Shefanciedhewasthekindofmanwhosesentimentalassociationswouldbestirredbytheconventionalimageryofawedding,andshepicturedherself,intheseclusionoftheVanOsburghconservatories,playingskillfullyuponsensibilitiesthuspreparedforhertouch。Infact,whenshelookedattheotherwomenabouther,andrecalledtheimageshehadbroughtawayfromherownglass,itdidnotseemasthoughanyspecialskillwouldbeneededtorepairherblunderandbringhimoncemoretoherfeet。

ThesightofSelden’sdarkhead,inapewalmostfacingher,disturbedforamomentthebalanceofhercomplacency。Theriseofherbloodastheireyesmetwassucceededbyacontrarymotion,awaveofresistanceandwithdrawal。Shedidnotwishtoseehimagain,notbecauseshefearedhisinfluence,butbecausehispresencealwayshadtheeffectofcheapeningheraspirations,ofthrowingherwholeworldoutoffocus。Besides,hewasalivingreminderoftheworstmistakeinhercareer,andthefactthathehadbeenitscausedidnotsoftenherfeelingstowardhim。Shecouldstillimagineanidealstateofexistenceinwhich,allelsebeingsuperadded,intercoursewithSeldenmightbethelasttouchofluxury;butintheworldasitwas,suchaprivilegewaslikelytocostmorethanitwasworth。

"Lily,dear,Ineversawyoulooksolovely!Youlookasifsomethingdelightfulhadjusthappenedtoyou!"

Theyoungladywhothusformulatedheradmirationofherbrilliantfrienddidnot,inherownperson,suggestsuchhappypossibilities。MissGertrudeFarish,infact,typifiedthemediocreandtheineffectual。Iftherewerecompensatingqualitiesinherwidefrankglanceandthefreshnessofhersmile,thesewerequalitieswhichonlythesympatheticobserverwouldperceivebeforenoticingthathereyeswereofaworkadaygreyandherlipswithouthauntingcurves。Lily’sownviewofherwaveredbetweenpityforherlimitationsandimpatienceathercheerfulacceptanceofthem。ToMissBart,astohermother,acquiescenceindinginesswasevidenceofstupidity;andthereweremomentswhen,intheconsciousnessofherownpowertolookandtobesoexactlywhattheoccasionrequired,shealmostfeltthatothergirlswereplainandinferiorfromchoice。Certainlynooneneedhaveconfessedsuchacquiescenceinherlotaswasrevealedinthe"useful"colourofGertyFarish’sgownandthesubduedlinesofherhat:itisalmostasstupidtoletyourclothesbetraythatyouknowyouareuglyastohavethemproclaimthatyouthinkyouarebeautiful。

Ofcourse,beingfatallypooranddingy,itwaswiseofGertytohavetakenupphilanthropyandsymphonyconcerts;buttherewassomethingirritatinginherassumptionthatexistenceyieldednohigherpleasures,andthatonemightgetasmuchinterestandexcitementoutoflifeinacrampedflatasinthesplendoursoftheVanOsburghestablishment。Today,however,herchirpingenthusiasmsdidnotirritateLily。Theyseemedonlytothrowherownexceptionalnessintobecomingrelief,andgiveasoaringvastnesstoherschemeoflife。

"Doletusgoandtakeapeepatthepresentsbeforeeveryoneelseleavesthedining-room!"suggestedMissFarish,linkingherarminherfriend’s。Itwascharacteristicofhertotakeasentimentalandunenviousinterestinallthedetailsofawedding:shewasthekindofpersonwhoalwayskeptherhandkerchiefoutduringtheservice,anddepartedclutchingaboxofwedding-cake。

"Isn’teverythingbeautifullydone?"shepursued,astheyenteredthedistantdrawing-roomassignedtothedisplayofMissVanOsburgh’sbridalspoils。"IalwayssaynoonedoesthingsbetterthancousinGrace!DidyouevertasteanythingmoredeliciousthanthatMOUSSEoflobsterwithchampagnesauce?ImadeupmymindweeksagothatIwouldn’tmissthiswedding,andjustfancyhowdelightfullyitallcameabout。WhenLawrenceSeldenheardIwascoming,heinsistedonfetchingmehimselfanddrivingmetothestation,andwhenwegobackthiseveningIamtodinewithhimatSherry’s。IreallyfeelasexcitedasifI

weregettingmarriedmyself!"

Lilysmiled:sheknewthatSeldenhadalwaysbeenkindtohisdullcousin,andshehadsometimeswonderedwhyhewastedsomuchtimeinsuchanunremunerativemanner;butnowthethoughtgaveheravaguepleasure。

"Doyouseehimoften?"sheasked。

"Yes;heisverygoodaboutdroppinginonSundays。Andnowandthenwedoaplaytogether;butlatelyIhaven’tseenmuchofhim。Hedoesn’tlookwell,andheseemsnervousandunsettled。

Thedearfellow!Idowishhewouldmarrysomenicegirl。Itoldhimsotoday,buthesaidhedidn’tcareforthereallyniceones,andtheotherkinddidn’tcareforhim——butthatwasjusthisjoke,ofcourse。HecouldnevermarryagirlwhoWASN’Tnice。

Oh,mydear,didyoueverseesuchpearls?"

Theyhadpausedbeforethetableonwhichthebride’sjewelsweredisplayed,andLily’sheartgaveanenviousthrobasshecaughttherefractionoflightfromtheirsurfaces——themilkygleamofperfectlymatchedpearls,theflashofrubiesrelievedagainstcontrastingvelvet,theintenseblueraysofsapphireskindledintolightbysurroundingdiamonds:alltheseprecioustintsenhancedanddeepenedbythevariedartoftheirsetting。TheglowofthestoneswarmedLily’sveinslikewine。Morecompletelythananyotherexpressionofwealththeysymbolizedthelifeshelongedtolead,thelifeoffastidiousaloofnessandrefinementinwhicheverydetailshouldhavethefinishofajewel,andthewholeformaharmonioussettingtoherownjewel-likerareness。

"Oh,Lily,dolookatthisdiamondpendant——it’sasbigasadinner-plate!Whocanhavegivenit?"MissFarishbentshort-sightedlyovertheaccompanyingcard。"MR。SIMONROSEDALE。

What,thathorridman?Oh,yes——Irememberhe’safriendofJack’s,andIsupposecousinGracehadtoaskhimheretoday;butshemustratherhatehavingtoletGwenacceptsuchapresentfromhim。"

Lilysmiled。ShedoubtedMrs。VanOsburgh’sreluctance,butwasawareofMissFarish’shabitofascribingherowndelicaciesoffeelingtothepersonsleastlikelytobeencumberedbythem。

"Well,ifGwendoesn’tcaretobeseenwearingitshecanalwaysexchangeitforsomethingelse,"sheremarked。

"Ah,hereissomethingsomuchprettier,"MissFarishcontinued。

"Dolookatthisexquisitewhitesapphire。I’msurethepersonwhochoseitmusthavetakenparticularpains。Whatisthename?

PercyGryce?Ah,thenI’mnotsurprised!"Shesmiledsignificantlyasshereplacedthecard。"Ofcourseyou’veheardthathe’sperfectlydevotedtoEvieVanOsburgh?CousinGraceissopleasedaboutit——it’squitearomance!HemetherfirstattheGeorgeDorsets’,onlyaboutsixweeksago,andit’sjustthenicestpossiblemarriagefordearEvie。Oh,Idon’tmeanthemoney——ofcourseshehasplentyofherown——butshe’ssuchaquietstay-at-homekindofgirl,anditseemshehasjustthesametastes;sotheyareexactlysuitedtoeachother。"

Lilystoodstaringvacantlyatthewhitesapphireonitsvelvetbed。EvieVanOsburghandPercyGryce?Thenamesrangderisivelythroughherbrain。EVIEVANOSBURGH?Theyoungest,dumpiest,dullestofthefourdullanddumpydaughterswhomMrs。VanOsburgh,withunsurpassedastuteness,had"placed"onebyoneinenviablenichesofexistence!Ah,luckygirlswhogrowupintheshelterofamother’slove——amotherwhoknowshowtocontriveopportunitieswithoutconcedingfavours,howtotakeadvantageofpropinquitywithoutallowingappetitetobedulledbyhabit!Thecleverestgirlmaymiscalculatewhereherowninterestsareconcerned,mayyieldtoomuchatonemomentandwithdrawtoofaratthenext:ittakesamother’sunerringvigilanceandforesighttolandherdaughterssafelyinthearmsofwealthandsuitability。

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