Thelattertraitshowshowlittlebettertheyarethanthedonkeystheyeatandsleepwith。Theonlywell—dressedPortugueseinthecamparethehalfadozenwell—to—dofamilies，theJesuitpriests，andthesoldiersofthelittlegarrison。Thewagesofalaboreraretwentytotwenty—fourcentsaday，andthoseofagoodmechanicabouttwiceasmuch。Theycountitinreisatathousandtothedollar，andthismakesthemrichandcontented。
Finegrapesusedtogrowintheislands，andanexcellentwinewasmadeandexported。Butadiseasekilledallthevinesfifteenyearsago，andsincethattimenowinehasbeenmade。Theislandsbeingwhollyofvolcanicorigin，thesoilisnecessarilyveryrich。Nearlyeveryfootofgroundisundercultivation，andtwoorthreecropsayearofeacharticleareproduced，butnothingisexportedsaveafeworanges——chieflytoEngland。
Nobodycomeshere，andnobodygoesaway。NewsisathingunknowninFayal。
Athirstforitisapassionequallyunknown。APortugueseofaverageintelligenceinquiredifourcivilwarwasover。Because，hesaid，somebodyhadtoldhimitwas——oratleastitraninhismindthatsomebodyhadtoldhimsomethinglikethat！AndwhenapassengergaveanofficerofthegarrisoncopiesoftheTribune，theHerald，andTimes，hewassurprisedtofindlaternewsinthemfromLisbonthanhehadjustreceivedbythelittlemonthlysteamer。Hewastoldthatitcamebycable。Hesaidheknewtheyhadtriedtolayacabletenyearsago，butithadbeeninhismindsomehowthattheyhadn'tsucceeded！
ItisincommunitieslikethisthatJesuithumbuggeryflourishes。WevisitedaJesuitcathedralnearlytwohundredyearsoldandfoundinitapieceoftheveritablecrossuponwhichourSaviourwascrucified。Itwaspolishedandhard，andinasexcellentastateofpreservationasifthedreadtragedyonCalvaryhadoccurredyesterdayinsteadofeighteencenturiesago。Buttheseconfidingpeoplebelieveinthatpieceofwoodunhesitatingly。
Inachapelofthecathedralisanaltarwithfacingsofsolidsilver——atleasttheycallitso，andIthinkmyselfitwouldgoacoupleofhundredtotheton（tospeakafterthefashionofthesilverminers）——andbeforeitiskeptforeverburningasmalllamp。Adevoutladywhodied，leftmoneyandcontractedforunlimitedmassesforthereposeofhersoul，andalsostipulatedthatthislampshouldbekeptlightedalways，dayandnight。
Shedidallthisbeforeshedied，youunderstand。Itisaverysmalllampandaverydimone，anditcouldnotworkhermuchdamage，Ithink，ifitwentoutaltogether。
Thegreataltarofthecathedralandalsothreeorfourminoronesareaperfectmassofgiltgimcracksandgingerbread。Andtheyhaveaswarmofrusty，dusty，batteredapostlesstandingaroundthefilagreework，someononelegandsomewithoneeyeoutbutagameylookintheother，andsomewithtwoorthreefingersgone，andsomewithnotenoughnoselefttoblow——allofthemcrippledanddiscouraged，andfittersubjectsforthehospitalthanthecathedral。
Thewallsofthechancelareofporcelain，allpicturedoverwithfiguresofalmostlifesize，veryelegantlywroughtanddressedinthefancifulcostumesoftwocenturiesago。Thedesignwasahistoryofsomethingorsomebody，butnoneofuswerelearnedenoughtoreadthestory。Theoldfather，reposingunderastonecloseby，dated1686，mighthavetoldusifhecouldhaverisen。Buthedidn't。
Aswecamedownthroughthetownweencounteredasquadoflittledonkeysreadysaddledforuse。Thesaddleswerepeculiar，tosaytheleast。Theyconsistedofasortofsawbuckwithasmallmattressonit，andthisfurniturecoveredabouthalfthedonkey。Therewerenostirrups，butreallysuchsupportswerenotneeded——tousesuchasaddlewasthenextthingtoridingadinnertable——therewasamplesupportclearouttoone'skneejoints。
ApackofraggedPortuguesemuleteerscrowdedaroundus，offeringtheirbeastsathalfadollaranhour——morerascalitytothestranger，forthemarketpriceissixteencents。Halfadozenofusmountedtheungainlyaffairsandsubmittedtotheindignityofmakingaridiculousspectacleofourselvesthroughtheprincipalstreetsofatownof10，000inhabitants。
Westarted。Itwasnotatrot，agallop，oracanter，butastampede，andmadeupofallpossibleorconceivablegaits。Nospurswerenecessary。
Therewasamuleteertoeverydonkeyandadozenvolunteersbeside，andtheybangedthedonkeyswiththeirgoadsticks，andprickedthemwiththeirspikes，andshoutedsomethingthatsoundedlike"Sekki—yah！"andkeptupadinandaracketthatwasworsethanBedlamitself。Theserascalswereallonfoot，butnomatter，theywerealwaysuptotime——theycanoutrunandoutlastadonkey。Altogether，ourswasalivelyandapicturesqueprocession，anddrewcrowdedaudiencestothebalconieswhereverwewent。
Bluchercoulddonothingatallwithhisdonkey。Thebeastscamperedzigzagacrosstheroadandtheothersranintohim;hescrapedBlucheragainstcartsandthecornersofhouses;theroadwasfencedinwithhighstonewalls，andthedonkeygavehimapolishingfirstononesideandthenontheother，butneveroncetookthemiddle;hefinallycametothehousehewasborninanddartedintotheparlor，scrapingBlucheroffatthedoorway。Afterremounting，Bluchersaidtothemuleteer，"Now，that'senough，youknow;yougoslowhereafter。"ButthefellowknewnoEnglishanddidnotunderstand，sohesimplysaid，"Sekki—yah！"andthedonkeywasoffagainlikeashot。Heturnedacomersuddenly，andBlucherwentoverhishead。And，tospeaktruly，everymulestumbledoverthetwo，andthewholecavalcadewaspiledupinaheap。Noharmdone。Afallfromoneofthosedonkeysisoflittlemoreconsequencethanrollingoffasofa。
Thedonkeysallstoodstillafterthecatastropheandwaitedfortheirdismemberedsaddlestobepatchedupandputonbythenoisymuleteers。
Blucherwasprettyangryandwantedtoswear，buteverytimeheopenedhismouthhisanimaldidsoalsoandletoffaseriesofbraysthatdrownedallothersounds。
Itwasfun，scurryingaroundthebreezyhillsandthroughthebeautifulcanyons。Therewasthatrarething，novelty，aboutit;itwasafresh，new，exhilaratingsensation，thisdonkeyriding，andworthahundredwornandthreadbarehomepleasures。
Theroadswereawonder，andwelltheymightbe。Herewasanislandwithonlyahandfulofpeopleinit——25，000——andyetsuchfineroadsdonotexistintheUnitedStatesoutsideofCentralPark。Everywhereyougo，inanydirection，youfindeitherahard，smooth，levelthoroughfare，justsprinkledwithblacklavasand，andborderedwithlittleguttersneatlypavedwithsmallsmoothpebbles，orcompactlypavedoneslikeBroadway。
TheytalkmuchoftheRusspavementinNewYork，andcallitanewinvention——yetheretheyhavebeenusingitinthisremotelittleisleoftheseafortwohundredyears！EverystreetinHortaishandsomelypavedwiththeheavyRussblocks，andthesurfaceisneatandtrueasafloor——notmarredbyholeslikeBroadway。Andeveryroadisfencedinbytall，solidlavawalls，whichwilllastathousandyearsinthislandwherefrostisunknown。Theyareverythick，andareoftenplasteredandwhitewashedandcappedwithprojectingslabsofcutstone。Treesfromgardensabovehangtheirswayingtendrilsdown，andcontrasttheirbrightgreenwiththewhitewashortheblacklavaofthewallsandmakethembeautiful。Thetreesandvinesstretchacrossthesenarrowroadwayssometimesandsoshutoutthesunthatyouseemtoberidingthroughatunnel。Thepavements，theroads，andthebridgesareallgovernmentwork。
Thebridgesareofasinglespan——asinglearch——ofcutstone，withoutasupport，andpavedontopwithflagsoflavaandornamentalpebblework。
Everywherearewalls，walls，walls，andallofthemtastefulandhandsome——andeternallysubstantial;andeverywherearethosemarvelouspavements，soneat，sosmooth，andsoindestructible。Andifeverroadsandstreetsandtheoutsidesofhouseswereperfectlyfreefromanysignorsemblanceofdirt，ordust，ormud，oruncleanlinessofanykind，itisHorta，itisFayal。Thelowerclassesofthepeople，intheirpersonsandtheirdomiciles，arenotclean——butthereitstops——thetownandtheislandaremiraclesofcleanliness。
Wearrivedhomeagainfinally，afteraten—mileexcursion，andtheirrepressiblemuleteersscamperedatourheelsthroughthemainstreet，goadingthedonkeys，shoutingtheeverlasting"Sekki—yah，"andsinging"JohnBrown'sBody"inruinousEnglish。
Whenweweredismountedanditcametosettling，theshoutingandjawingandswearingandquarrelingamongthemuleteersandwithuswasnearlydeafening。Onefellowwoulddemandadollaranhourfortheuseofhisdonkey;anotherclaimedhalfadollarforprickinghimup，anotheraquarterforhelpinginthatservice，andaboutfourteenguidespresentedbillsforshowingusthewaythroughthetownanditsenvirons;andeveryvagrantofthemwasmorevociferous，andmorevehementandmorefranticingesturethanhisneighbor。Wepaidoneguideandpaidforonemuleteertoeachdonkey。
Themountainsonsomeoftheislandsareveryhigh。WesailedalongtheshoreoftheislandofPico，underastatelygreenpyramidthatroseupwithoneunbrokensweepfromourveryfeetto。analtitudeof7，613
feet，andthrustitssummitabovethewhitecloudslikeanislandadriftinafog！
Wegotplentyoffreshoranges，lemons，figs，apricots，etc。，intheseAzores，ofcourse。ButIwilldesist。IamnotheretowritePatentOfficereports。
WeareonourwaytoGibraltar，andshallreachtherefiveorsixdaysoutfromtheAzores。
Chapter7
Aweekofbuffetingatempestuousandrelentlesssea;aweekofseasicknessanddesertedcabins;oflonelyquarterdecksdrenchedwithspray——spraysoambitiousthatitevencoatedthesmokestacksthickwithawhitecrustofsalttotheirverytops;aweekofshiveringintheshelterofthelifeboatsanddeckhousesbydayandblowingsuffocating"clouds"andboisterouslyperformingatdominoesinthesmokingroomatnight。
Andthelastnightofthesevenwasthestormiestofall。Therewasnothunder，nonoisebutthepoundingbowsoftheship，thekeenwhistlingofthegalethroughthecordage，andtherushoftheseethingwaters。Butthevesselclimbedaloftasifshewouldclimbtoheaven——thenpausedaninstantthatseemedacenturyandplungedheadlongdownagain，asfromaprecipice。Thesheetedspraysdrenchedthedeckslikerain。Theblacknessofdarknesswaseverywhere。Atlongintervalsaflashoflightningcloveitwithaquiveringlineoffirethatrevealedaheavingworldofwaterwherewasnothingbefore，kindledtheduskycordagetoglitteringsilver，andlitupthefacesofthemenwithaghastlyluster！
Feardrovemanyondeckthatwereusedtoavoidingthenightwindsandthespray。Somethoughtthevesselcouldnotlivethroughthenight，anditseemedlessdreadfultostandoutinthemidstofthewildtempestandseetheperilthatthreatenedthantobeshutupinthesepulchralcabins，underthedimlamps，andimaginethehorrorsthatwereabroadontheocean。Andonceout——oncewheretheycouldseetheshipstrugglinginthestronggraspofthestorm——oncewheretheycouldheartheshriekofthewindsandfacethedrivingsprayandlookoutuponthemajesticpicturethelightningsdisclosed，theywereprisonerstoafiercefascinationtheycouldnotresist，andsoremained。Itwasawildnight——andavery，verylongone。
Everybodywassentscamperingtothedeckatseveno'clockthislovelymorningofthethirtiethofJunewiththegladnewsthatlandwasinsight！
Itwasararethingandajoyful，toseealltheship'sfamilyabroadoncemore，albeitthehappinessthatsatuponeverycountenancecouldonlypartlyconcealtheravageswhichthatlongsiegeofstormshadwroughtthere。Butdulleyessoonsparkledwithpleasure，pallidcheeksflushedagain，andframesweakenedbysicknessgatherednewlifefromthequickeninginfluencesofthebright，freshmorning。Yea，andfromastillmorepotentinfluence:theworncastawaysweretoseetheblessedlandagain！——andtoseeitwastobringbackthatmotherlandthatwasinalltheirthoughts。
WithinthehourwewerefairlywithintheStraitsofGibraltar，thetallyellow—splotchedhillsofAfricaonourright，withtheirbasesveiledinabluehazeandtheirsummitsswathedinclouds——thesamebeingaccordingtoScripture，whichsaysthat"cloudsanddarknessareovertheland。"
ThewordswerespokenofthisparticularportionofAfrica，Ibelieve。
Onourleftwerethegranite—ribbeddomesofoldSpain。Thestraitisonlythirteenmileswideinitsnarrowestpart。
AtshortintervalsalongtheSpanishshorewerequaint—lookingoldstonetowers——Moorish，wethought——butlearnedbetterafterwards。InformertimestheMoroccorascalsusedtocoastalongtheSpanishMainintheirboatstillasafeopportunityseemedtopresentitself，andthendartinandcaptureaSpanishvillageandcarryoffalltheprettywomentheycouldfind。Itwasapleasantbusiness，andwasverypopular。TheSpaniardsbuiltthesewatchtowersonthehillstoenablethemtokeepasharperlookoutontheMoroccanspeculators。
Thepictureontheotherhandwasverybeautifultoeyeswearyofthechangelesssea，andbyandbytheship'scompanygrewwonderfullycheerful。
Butwhilewestoodadmiringthecloud—cappedpeaksandthelowlandsrobedinmistygloomafinerpictureburstuponusandchainedeveryeyelikeamagnet——astatelyship，withcanvaspiledoncanvastillshewasonetoweringmassofbellyingsail！Shecamespeedingoverthesealikeagreatbird。AfricaandSpainwereforgotten。Allhomagewasforthebeautifulstranger。WhileeverybodygazedshesweptsuperblybyandflungtheStarsandStripestothebreeze！Quickerthanthought，hatsandhandkerchiefsflashedintheair，andacheerwentup！Shewasbeautifulbefore——shewasradiantnow。Manyaoneonourdecksknewthenforthefirsttimehowtameasighthiscountry'sflagisathomecomparedtowhatitisinaforeignland。Toseeitistoseeavisionofhomeitselfandallitsidols，andfeelathrillthatwouldstiraveryriverofsluggishblood！
WewereapproachingthefamedPillarsofHercules，andalreadytheAfricanone，"Ape'sHill，"agrandoldmountainwithsummitstreakedwithgraniteledges，wasinsight。Theother，thegreatRockofGibraltar，wasyettocome。TheancientsconsideredthePillarsofHerculestheheadofnavigationandtheendoftheworld。Theinformationtheancientsdidn'thavewasveryvoluminous。Eventheprophetswrotebookafterbookandepistleafterepistle，yetneveroncehintedattheexistenceofagreatcontinentonoursideofthewater;yettheymusthaveknownitwasthere，Ishouldthink。
Inafewmomentsalonelyandenormousmassofrock，standingseeminglyinthecenterofthewidestraitandapparentlywashedonallsidesbythesea，swungmagnificentlyintoview，andweneedednotedioustraveledparrottotellusitwasGibraltar。Therecouldnotbetworockslikethatinonekingdom。
TheRockofGibraltarisaboutamileandahalflong，Ishouldsay，by1，400to1，500feethigh，andaquarterofamilewideatitsbase。
Onesideandoneendofitcomeaboutasstraightupoutoftheseaasthesideofahouse，theotherendisirregularandtheothersideisasteepslantwhichanarmywouldfindverydifficulttoclimb。AtthefootofthisslantisthewalledtownofGibraltar——orratherthetownoccupiespartoftheslant。Everywhere——onhillside，intheprecipice，bythesea，ontheheights——everywhereyouchoosetolook，Gibraltariscladwithmasonryandbristlingwithguns。Itmakesastrikingandlivelypicturefromwhatsoeverpointyoucontemplateit。Itispushedoutintotheseaontheendofaflat，narrowstripofland，andissuggestiveofa"gob"ofmudontheendofashingle。AfewhundredyardsofthisflatgroundatitsbasebelongstotheEnglish，andthen，extendingacrossthestripfromtheAtlantictotheMediterranean，adistanceofaquarterofamile，comesthe"NeutralGround，"aspacetwoorthreehundredyardswide，whichisfreetobothparties。
"AreyougoingthroughSpaintoParis？"ThatquestionwasbandiedabouttheshipdayandnightfromFayaltoGibraltar，andIthoughtInevercouldgetsotiredofhearinganyonecombinationofwordsagainormoretiredofanswering，"Idon'tknow。"Atthelastmomentsixorsevenhadsufficientdecisionofcharactertomakeuptheirmindstogo，anddidgo，andIfeltasenseofreliefatonce——itwasforevertoolatenowandIcouldmakeupmymindatmyleisurenottogo。Imusthaveaprodigiousquantityofmind;ittakesmeasmuchasaweeksometimestomakeitup。
Butbeholdhowannoyancesrepeatthemselves。WehadnosoonergottenridoftheSpaindistressthantheGibraltarguidesstartedanother——atiresomerepetitionofalegendthathadnothingveryastonishingaboutit，eveninthefirstplace:"ThathighhillyonderiscalledtheQueen'sChair;itisbecauseoneofthequeensofSpainplacedherchairtherewhentheFrenchandSpanishtroopswerebesiegingGibraltar，andsaidshewouldnevermovefromthespottilltheEnglishflagwasloweredfromthefortresses。IftheEnglishhadn'tbeengallantenoughtolowertheflagforafewhoursoneday，she'dhavehadtobreakheroathordieupthere。"
Werodeonassesandmulesupthesteep，narrowstreetsandenteredthesubterraneangalleriestheEnglishhaveblastedoutintherock。Thesegalleriesarelikespaciousrailwaytunnels，andatshortintervalsinthemgreatgunsfrownoutuponseaandtownthroughportholesfiveorsixhundredfeetabovetheocean。Thereisamileorsoofthissubterraneanwork，anditmusthavecostavastdealofmoneyandlabor。Thegallerygunscommandthepeninsulaandtheharborsofbothoceans，buttheymightaswellnotbethere，Ishouldthink，foranarmycouldhardlyclimbtheperpendicularwalloftherockanyhow。Thoseloftyportholesaffordsuperbviewsofthesea，though。Atoneplace，whereajuttingcragwashollowedoutintoagreatchamberwhosefurniturewashugecannonandwhosewindowswereportholes，aglimpsewascaughtofahillnotfaraway，andasoldiersaid:
"ThathighhillyonderiscalledtheQueen'sChair;itisbecauseaqueenofSpainplacedherchairthereoncewhentheFrenchandSpanishtroopswerebesiegingGibraltar，andsaidshewouldnevermovefromthespottilltheEnglishflagwasloweredfromthefortresses。IftheEnglishhadn'tbeengallantenoughtolowertheflagforafewhoursoneday，she'dhavehadtobreakheroathordieupthere。"
OnthetopmostpinnacleofGibraltarwehaltedagoodwhile，andnodoubtthemulesweretired。Theyhadarighttobe。Themilitaryroadwasgood，butrathersteep，andtherewasagooddealofit。Theviewfromthenarrowledgewasmagnificent;fromitvesselsseeminglikethetiniestlittletoyboatswereturnedintonobleshipsbythetelescopes，andothervesselsthatwerefiftymilesawayandevensixty，theysaid，andinvisibletothenakedeye，couldbeclearlydistinguishedthroughthosesametelescopes。
Below，ononeside，welookeddownuponanendlessmassofbatteriesandontheotherstraightdowntothesea。
WhileIwasrestingeversocomfortablyonarampart，andcoolingmybakingheadinthedeliciousbreeze，anofficiousguidebelongingtoanotherpartycameupandsaid:
"Señor，thathighhillyonderiscalledtheQueen'sChair——"
Sir，Iamahelplessorphaninaforeignland。Havepityonme。Don't——nowdon'tinflictthatmostin—FERNALoldlegendonmeanymoretoday！"
There——IhadusedstronglanguageafterpromisingIwouldneverdosoagain;buttheprovocationwasmorethanhumannaturecouldbear。Ifyouhadbeenboredso，whenyouhadthenoblepanoramaofSpainandAfricaandtheblueMediterraneanspreadabroadatyourfeet，andwantedtogazeandenjoyandsurfeityourselfinitsbeautyinsilence，youmighthaveevenburstintostrongerlanguagethanIdid。
Gibraltarhasstoodseveralprotractedsieges，oneofthemofnearlyfouryears'duration（itfailed），andtheEnglishonlycaptureditbystratagem。
Thewonderisthatanybodyshouldeverdreamoftryingsoimpossibleaprojectasthetakingitbyassault——andyetithasbeentriedmorethanonce。
TheMoorsheldtheplacetwelvehundredyearsago，andastauncholdcastleoftheirsofthatdatestillfrownsfromthemiddleofthetown，withmoss—grownbattlementsandsideswellscarredbyshotsfiredinbattlesandsiegesthatareforgottennow。Asecretchamberintherockbehinditwasdiscoveredsometimeago，whichcontainedaswordofexquisiteworkmanship，andsomequaintoldarmorofafashionthatantiquariesarenotacquaintedwith，thoughitissupposedtobeRoman。RomanarmorandRomanrelicsofvariouskindshavebeenfoundinacaveintheseaextremityofGibraltar;
historysaysRomeheldthispartofthecountryabouttheChristianera，andthesethingsseemtoconfirmthestatement。
Inthatcavealsoarefoundhumanbones，crustedwithaverythick，stonycoating，andwisemenhaveventuredtosaythatthosemennotonlylivedbeforetheflood，butasmuchastenthousandyearsbeforeit。Itmaybetrue——itlooksreasonableenough——butaslongasthosepartiescan'tvoteanymore，themattercanbeofnogreatpublicinterest。InthiscavelikewisearefoundskeletonsandfossilsofanimalsthatexistineverypartofAfrica，yetwithinmemoryandtraditionhaveneverexistedinanyportionofSpainsavethislonepeakofGibraltar！SothetheoryisthatthechannelbetweenGibraltarandAfricawasoncedryland，andthatthelow，neutralneckbetweenGibraltarandtheSpanishhillsbehinditwasonceocean，andofcoursethattheseAfricananimals，beingoveratGibraltar（afterrock，perhaps——thereisplentythere），gotclosedoutwhenthegreatchangeoccurred。ThehillsinAfrica，acrossthechannel，arefullofapes，andtherearenowandalwayshavebeenapesontherockofGibraltar——butnotelsewhereinSpain！Thesubjectisaninterestingone。
ThereisanEnglishgarrisonatGibraltarof6，000or7，000men，andsouniformsofflamingredareplenty;andredandblue，andundresscostumesofsnowywhite，andalsothequeeruniformofthebare—kneedHighlander;
andoneseessoft—eyedSpanishgirlsfromSanRoque，andveiledMoorishbeauties（Isupposetheyarebeauties）fromTarifa，andturbaned，sashed，andtrouseredMoorishmerchantsfromFez，andlong—robed，bare—legged，raggedMuhammadanvagabondsfromTetuánandTangier，somebrown，someyellowandsomeasblackasvirginink——andJewsfromallaround，ingabardine，skullcap，andslippers，justastheyareinpicturesandtheaters，andjustastheywerethreethousandyearsago，nodoubt。Youcaneasilyunderstandthatatribe（somehowourpilgrimssuggestthatexpression，becausetheymarchinastragglingprocessionthroughtheseforeignplaceswithsuchanIndian—likeairofcomplacencyandindependenceaboutthem）
likeours，madeupfromfifteenorsixteenstatesoftheUnion，foundenoughtostareatinthisshiftingpanoramaoffashiontoday。
Speakingofourpilgrimsremindsmethatwehaveoneortwopeopleamonguswhoaresometimesanannoyance。However，IdonotcounttheOracleinthatlist。IwillexplainthattheOracleisaninnocentoldasswhoeatsforfourandlookswiserthanthewholeAcademyofFrancewouldhaveanyrighttolook，andneverusesaone—syllablewordwhenhecanthinkofalongerone，andneverbyanypossiblechanceknowsthemeaningofanylongwordheusesorevergetsitintherightplace;yethewillserenelyventureanopiniononthemostabstrusesubjectandbackitupcomplacentlywithquotationsfromauthorswhoneverexisted，andfinallywhencorneredwillslidetotheothersideofthequestion，sayhehasbeenthereallthetime，andcomebackatyouwithyourownspokenarguments，onlywiththebigwordsalltangled，andplaytheminyourveryteethasoriginalwithhimself。Hereadsachapterintheguidebooks，mixesthefactsallup，withhisbadmemory，andthengoesofftoinflictthewholemessonsomebodyaswisdomwhichhasbeenfesteringinhisbrainforyearsandwhichhegatheredincollegefromeruditeauthorswhoaredeadnowandoutofprint。Thismorningatbreakfasthepointedoutofthewindowandsaid:
"DoyouseethattherehilloutthereonthatAfricancoast？It'soneofthemPillowsofHerkewls，Ishouldsay——andthere'stheultimateonealongsideofit。"
"Theultimateone——thatisagoodword——butthepillarsarenotbothonthesamesideofthestrait。"（Isawhehadbeendeceivedbyacarelesslywrittensentenceintheguidebook。）
"Well，itain'tforyoutosay，norforme。Someauthorsstatesitthatway，andsomestatesitdifferent。OldGibbonsdon'tsaynothingaboutit——justshirksitcomplete——Gibbonsalwaysdonethatwhenhegotstuck——butthereisRolampton，whatdoeshesay？Why，besaysthattheywasbothonthesameside，andTrinculian，andSobaster，andSyraccus，andLangomarganb————"
"Oh，thatwilldo——that'senough。Ifyouhavegotyourhandinforinventingauthorsandtestimony，Ihavenothingmoretosay——letthembeonthesameside。"
Wedon'tmindtheOracle。Weratherlikehim。WecantoleratetheOracleveryeasily，butwehaveapoetandagood—naturedenterprisingidiotonboard，andtheydodistressthecompany。Theonegivescopiesofhisversestoconsuls，commanders，hotelkeepers，Arabs，Dutch——toanybody，infact，whowillsubmittoagrievousinflictionmostkindlymeant。Hispoetryisallverywellonshipboard，notwithstandingwhenhewrotean"OdetotheOceaninaStorm"inonehalfhour，andan"ApostrophetotheRoosterintheWaistoftheShip"inthenext，thetransitionwasconsideredtoberatherabrupt;butwhenhesendsaninvoiceofrhymestotheGovernorofFayalandanothertothecommanderinchiefandotherdignitariesinGibraltarwiththecomplimentsoftheLaureateoftheShip，itisnotpopularwiththepassengers。
TheotherpersonageIhavementionedisyoungandgreen，andnotbright，notlearned，andnotwise。Hewillbe，though，somedayifherecollectstheanswerstoallhisquestions。Heisknownabouttheshipasthe"InterrogationPoint，"andthisbyconstantusehasbecomeshortenedto"Interrogation。"
Hehasdistinguishedhimselftwicealready。InFayaltheypointedoutahillandtoldhimitwas800feethighand1，100feetlong。Andtheytoldhimtherewasatunnel2，000feetlongand1，000feethighrunningthroughthehill，fromendtoend。Hebelievedit。Herepeatedittoeverybody，discussedit，andreaditfromhisnotes。Finally，hetookausefulhintfromthisremark，whichathoughtfuloldpilgrimmade:
"Well，yes，itisalittleremarkable——singulartunnelaltogether——standsupoutofthetopofthehillabouttwohundredfeet，andoneendofitsticksoutofthehillaboutninehundred！"
HereinGibraltarhecornerstheseeducatedBritishofficersandbadgersthemwithbraggadocioaboutAmericaandthewondersshecanperform！HetoldoneofthemacoupleofourgunboatscouldcomehereandknockGibraltarintotheMediterraneanSea！
Atthispresentmomenthalfadozenofusaretakingaprivatepleasureexcursionofourowndevising。WeformrathermorethanhalfthelistofwhitepassengersonboardasmallsteamerboundforthevenerableMoorishtownofTangier，Africa。Nothingcouldbemoreabsolutelycertainthanthatweareenjoyingourselves。Onecannotdootherwisewhospeedsoverthesesparklingwatersandbreathesthesoftatmosphereofthissunnyland。
Carecannotassailushere。Weareoutofitsjurisdiction。
WeevensteamedrecklesslybythefrowningfortressofMalabat（astrongholdoftheEmperorofMorocco）withoutatwingeoffear。Thewholegarrisonturnedoutunderarmsandassumedathreateningattitude——yetstillwedidnotfear。Theentiregarrisonmarchedandcounter—marchedwithintherampart，infullview——yetnotwithstandingeventhis，weneverflinched。
Isupposewereallydonotknowwhatfearis。IinquiredthenameofthegarrisonofthefortressofMalabat，andtheysaiditwasMehemetAliBenSancom。Isaiditwouldbeagoodideatogetsomemoregarrisonstohelphim;buttheysaidno，hehadnothingtodobutholdtheplace，andhewascompetenttodothat，haddoneittwoyearsalready。Thatwasevidencewhichonecouldnotwellrefute。Thereisnothinglikereputation。
EverynowandthenmyglovepurchaseinGibraltarlastnightintrudesitselfuponme。Danandtheship'ssurgeonandIhadbeenuptothegreatsquare，listeningtothemusicofthefinemilitarybandsandcontemplatingEnglishandSpanishfemalelovelinessandfashion，andatnineo'clockwereonourwaytothetheater，whenwemettheGeneral，theJudge，theCommodore，theColonel，andtheCommissioneroftheUnitedStatesofAmericatoEurope，Asia，andAfrica，whohadbeentotheClubHousetoregistertheirseveraltitlesandimpoverishthebilloffare;andtheytoldustogoovertothelittlevarietystoreneartheHallofJusticeandbuysomekidgloves。Theysaidtheywereelegantandverymoderateinprice。
Itseemedastylishthingtogotothetheaterinkidgloves，andweacteduponthehint。Averyhandsomeyoungladyinthestoreofferedmeapairofbluegloves。Ididnotwantblue，butshesaidtheywouldlookveryprettyonahandlikemine。Theremarktouchedmetenderly。Iglancedfurtivelyatmyhand，andsomehowitdidseemratheracomelymember。Itriedagloveonmyleftandblushedalittle。Manifestlythesizewastoosmallforme。ButIfeltgratifiedwhenshesaid:
"Oh，itisjustright！"YetIknewitwasnosuchthing。
Ituggedatitdiligently，butitwasdiscouragingwork。Shesaid:
"Ah！Iseeyouareaccustomedtowearingkidgloves——butsomegentlemenaresoawkwardaboutputtingthemon。"
ItwasthelastcomplimentIhadexpected。Ionlyunderstandputtingonthebuckskinarticleperfectly。Imadeanothereffortandtoretheglovefromthebaseofthethumbintothepalmofthehand——andtriedtohidetherent。Shekeptuphercompliments，andIkeptupmydeterminationtodeservethemordie:
"Ah，youhavehadexperience！[Aripdownthebackofthehand。]Theyarejustrightforyou——yourhandisverysmall——iftheytearyouneednotpayforthem。[Arentacrossthemiddle。]Icanalwaystellwhenagentlemanunderstandsputtingonkidgloves。Thereisagraceaboutitthatonlycomeswithlongpractice。"Thewholeafterguardoftheglove"fetchedaway，"asthesailorssay，thefabricpartedacrosstheknuckles，andnothingwasleftbutamelancholyruin。
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